Guys, it took seven months for my ex to come back telling me he misses me and wants to see me. I really had to put myself on the pedestal and realize how amazing I was because he was on the pedestal and I realized I was focused on how great he was, when you focus on yourself and do you, they will come back I promise.
Thank you 😢it's been a month of no contact,I was able to stop begging finally and it's been a month,still watching your videos, thank you for this ,there is hope
Nah, there's people that will NEVER come back because deep down they didn't really care about you in the first place. They just used you for their own ego. I met one such person last year. So to that I say, good riddance! Even if they did come back, the hurtful things that were said can never be unsaid.
@@Goodwillwinoverevil1984 yes, not all exes come back which is why no contact is important to do because time reveals whose feelings were real and strong.
Breezy chased Karrueche until she got a restraining order on him. She was a nobody compared to him, and especially billionaire RiRi. Celebs simp and chase too. And there's countless stories of Drake acting low value over IG models. Yet they could get thousands more girls on the same level and higher if they wanted. So everyone is victim of it if their emotions aren't in check. We're all human. Being high value in this case is really just having dignity and self respect.
Brother. I appreciate the wisdom. Got dumped from a 3 year awesome relationship. I’m 3 weeks no contact. But for the first 3 weeks of our breakup we were living together and my anxiety was higher than it’s ever been. I didn’t know that chasing wasn’t what you should do, I had perhaps watched too many movies. I cried, tried to make a grand gesture, tried to lean on her for comfort and she went cold on me. By the time I moved out I had gotten much better, even left displaying some confidence and dignity. but I’m afraid the damage is already done by me acting immature and unattractive. It was a great relationship and I feel like the odds were high for us to get back together if I hadn’t done that (I didn’t do anything too crazy or malicious I was just very emotional). Wish I would’ve known how to handle this situation before hand. Because of my emotional response making me appear low value, I’m expecting 6 months minimum no contact. Just sucks to know I blew that. I’m behaving right now though!
From what you typed I’m going through something similar. Almost a 3 year relationship and I’m starting no contact today. How have you handled it? I want to stick with not reaching out but it breaks my heart knowing he just lost his grandma (2 days before he broke up with me). We broke up just a week ago…
@@analauramongefonseca2135 I’ve been in no contact just over 40 days now. Second guess myself every day, anxiety through the roof. Be prepared for serious ups and downs it’s not fun. I’ve just been trying to do small things for myself every day to get a little better. Started going to therapy, and leaning on my support system. Over the last month I’ve become closer with my parents than I have been in years because I call them so much. My therapist is recommending I break no contact because I’m so anxious. I can tell she thinks I may be delusional that I’ll be able to get my ex back. Not sure what I’m gonna do yet.
Love will make you do things you have never done before and never thought you would. Love controls everything and you have no control over who you love. I never want to feel this again unless that person loves me at the same level
When my ex with untreated mental health issues reached out to me after he broke up with me I gave the "ultimatum" I would not talk to him unless he is in therapy for awhile. There was a time, not too long ago, he would've done anything to be with me. We both have to focus on ourselves right now. Maybe he never recovers, and I will move on.. but always have love for him from a distance.
I'd be interested one day to see a video of yours which compares how narcissistic women behave compared to non narcissistic women, in relationships and breakups
I actually thought exactly the same thing. A lady like the one who went on stage to do lewd things with the artist mostly likely is narcisstic and is not worth pursuing. How you destroy a relationship matters and says a lot about your character.
Been doing no contact for months but still no luck. I feel like there wasn’t truly love on her side. Instead trying to mold me into the man that she wanted and getting resentful and leaving when I didn’t change. Moving on.
It took months of no contact for me as well. As soon as I said "F" it and truly started working on me and having fun doing things I enjoy..... guess who surfaced. No, we are not back together however, he reaches out to me (texting) every 3-5 days and will call normally once a week. I am actually embracing this time because I have found myself again, he has had time to miss and appreciate "me" for who I am. It will all work out for the best.
I just want to say, sometimes, if you love someone, ignoring them won't help. It will depend on the kind of breakup. Just came across this after getting back with my ex. I dumped him because he was always busy and emotionally unavailable. After the break up, we didnt speak for a week then he started begging. Showing me he was sorry and he would fix what he took for granted. I took him back. Had he ignores me for 4weeks, trying to "prove his value", I probably would've just moved on. I love him so much and just needed him to show me he feels the same.
i think my girl left for the same reasons, but said she "lost herself" when she broke up. i haven't reached out for the last moneth to give her space but i want to meet up and tell her how i feel. should i still go for it?
@garbuglio66 I hope you did reach out. The internet can be a toxic place. Atleast try and if you still fail, you'll have no regrets. It's better than sitting alone 5years later, asking yourself "what if". I don't know, entirely up to you but I'm glad my man fought for us and we're making it work.
It’s been a year since we last spoke. My therapist says she’ll eventually come back around because of who I am as a person. But by that time because of all the work I will have done on myself, shouldn’t go back for the sake of my own mental health.
What if your EX was a really good person and kinda "needed" to go cause u just didnt love yourself and she tried her best for a year. Only after that I woke up, its been 3 1/2 months. I think she is hurt a lot aswell honestly. I m just building myself up rn, found a good job, lost 20 kgs (healthy way with training and a good diet) my body changed soo much, i feel better. I have new goals for myself etc. and i m feeling good. I d still love to have her back in my life when Im REALLY happy with myself. Its not because I "need" her, but more because I want to give her what she deserved. Which was me in a good condition. I had good sides. I will keep them. But for the rest. You can not love someone if you dont love yourself. Its just true i guess
Good riddance. You don't need someone like that in your life that would leave you because it doesn't suite them anymore. Relationships should be about loving and supportive commitment, not bailing if problems arise.
Brother, my ex dumped me exactly a year ago, avoidant girl.. red flag, I started dating another girl, saw my ex 3 days ago with another guy, I have somewhat feelings but I did block her everywhere, we don't need such people in our lives , we deserve better, we are awesome! Do not look back, do not take her back if she comes back anytime, I won't do it with my ex either, looking forward to a better future with the new girl
@@HojaFPS ohhh no doubt we weren’t good for each other. I recognized that as well. Oh no noo part of the problem was that she was hurting, from family stuff, from ex stuff, from just life pressures in general, she just didn’t want to ever share that stuff even though I could see it. Trust me I hope she’s doing well but we just weren’t right for each other, on both sides. She was a good person but we weren’t good for each other. Always, you can’t give what you don’t have. Which is why I am in therapy😂
One thing I've learnt from you is maturity, I no longer want my ex back am so happy where I am, well the power dynamic has exchanged she is the one begging to come back after 4 months of monkey branching me. Bro thank you so much I really appreciate your work🙏🙏
You talk about having to be higher value than your ex. The weird thing in my situation is: I truly think I'm "higher value" than my ex. As in, I'm relatively wealthy, have a good career, my own place, good education, look decently attractive and take care of my body. Meanwhile, compared to my ex, she's broke, unemployed, lives with her parents, doesn't work out. And I've always treated her well. Still, she was the one who left me, to pursue some other guy, who is honestly a downgrade compared to me (I know it sounds arrogant, but he truly is.)
Well it’s more about how you ACT. You might actually be higher value but if for example you believe she is the most attractive girl you have ever dated or that she is the best you can get. You start acting like you don’t deserve to be there
You are. I’m finally now past the healing, which took awhile. I can now say, I love him, and I will always miss him, but I’m not in love with him anymore. Those broken parts of me, that attracted him to me are now healed. The things that I thought were attractive in him, red flags that I missed, ignored, his patterns, whatever it may be, were because those were broken parts of me also, and places that needed healing, and now that they are healed. I’m not even attracted to him anymore. I’m actually disgusted with what I allowed. You both are healing. Be patient and be kind to yourself. If we knew better, we would’ve done better, the best part is yet to come! We have so much healing, everyone does. Only Jesus didn’t need it lol. I allowed so much because I was so broken. Once you heal, you’ll beat yourself up a lot in the process, please don’t, we make mistakes and learn, but once you start, you’ll go over the relationship, and you’ll see things that you wouldn’t allow now, even if you’re speaking to them now, and they are still acting the same way, something you would’ve let slide, or caved into, is now affecting you differently. Now, you’re stronger to walk away, you won’t give so many chances, you don’t let somebody disrespect you anymore, you’re not afraid to speak up about your emotions anymore. There’s so many things that you allowed, that we all allowed because we were broken, and they were broken in the same places. When you heal, the love is still going to be there, but it’s going to be easier to walk away, because you’re gonna finally be able to see that the parts of you, that fell in love with that person, were also the same broken parts of them and now that they are healed, you don’t want it anymore ….you don’t need it, and you know you deserve better, and you believe it.
@@daughteroftheking6402 wow u are amazing 😍...very true i was broken so I allowed so many unacceptable behaviour. When I look back I feel bad how come I did or let him do. Now I feel m different. It's ok of things doesnt turned around. Sometimes it hurts I guess it's part of healing process.
Well if I wasn’t the best option in the first place then there’s no reason to wait for him to come back and be that first option. He just lost someone real .
My ex and I were together for 3 years and the first 2 years was amazing and the last 7 month it wasn’t the best I’m responsible for 70% of the problems. After us breaking up she has a new bf now after 20-30 days of breaking up with me fully in a committed relationship it’s been the hardest thing I’ve ever faced my entire life 💔
I find your videos to be very helpful! I subbed, I’m following and feel as though many people are taking away something very valuable after watching them. 👍🏻
I have been in no contact 3 months. I am not sure if I want him now because he has become less attractive to me but the love is still.there. But why would I want someone that already had been with some for 3 months BEFORE I came over and found her there. I wish it had been different. 7 years wasted
Don't ever react when you think she wants you to. This will help her and make her think what she wants to belive that you're unattractive in showing weaknesses. Focus on your own sanity, workout, eat good and she will return. Build that attraction! ❤
If you’re both high value how do you align again. I’ve done no contact to give him space and myself healing. I feel at times when I did reach out long ago during our rocky stages it would boost his ego and made him feel that he got me while being unfaithful. So now I’ve done no contact and there’s silence. I’ve accepted it. I know I’m high value and I do come across good men. However, connection is hard to come about now and days.
No contact does work I’m an example. I just can’t seem to follow through in the correct way. I’m listening and have been to all of Coaches videos since September and it’s finally sinking in & I get it. I’m a catch & it’s my exs loss. I don’t know what will happen but I’m the prize! Thanks for this Great video…
If my ex gf neglected to text me happy bday, when a few weeks ago she said she’d take me out…. Should I assume it’s over? Not sure if I should even give her another chance. Thanks for all that you do, Coach Blac!
I would, personally that's a deal breaker for me. I've been dying to get my DA ex back for the longest and it hurts. Difference is she still reaches out and we still go out together here and there, nothing romantic, but I can see she sees me growing and changing (better job, working out, travelling). My birthday is March 13th....bro if she doesn't remember.....IM DONE. PERIOD. just sayin
@@gokuwufei99 thanks! yea, that's what i figured. It was a painful realization. Mid-january she said we were "close." But then a few weeks later you can't even text two words, "happy birthday" to me? and conveniently forget that you offered to take me out and now are ghosting me? It's over.
My ex and I have been on and off dating for over a year . She is older than me with a three year old son. She just moved to a different state. She said wanted to stay together. I have decided to go into the military but I got into a car accident back in the beginning of December and didn't have a job until Tuesday as no one was reaching back to me. She kept saying how misses me and loves me. I Want to be married and do all the things we talked about. But whenever I talk about going to fly to her and see her and her soon or take her on a trip because I want to go somewhere before I leave. She got mad saying I don’t have a job. This happened last Thursday. She would text me saying she’s experienced me breaking my word in the past and she doesn’t want to talk about things that aren’t going to happen. Then two days later she calls saying she doesn’t want to break up and we’re talking she then tells the baby daddy just popped up there. So later on that night she switched up. As she would say, she is a single mom building a life for her and her son. And she needs someone who can take care themselves as if she relied on me we wouldn’t have a place to stay. Saying she wants the best for all of us but she’s not going backwards she’s not settling. You don’t have to have everything figured out now but at least know what you're doing and where you’re going. I feel you do but I don’t want to sacrifice myself and I don’t want to be given dreams that don’t exist. You can research anything but it’s about having the balls to do, no excuses allowed. This is what she sent me on Saturday after earlier saying she doesn’t want to break up. We talked on the phone overall. She said she thinks we should break up, saying it’s not about finances. I asked her if she wanted to but she didn’t say. Overall wouldn't her from till Monday calling me saying she wants to break up saying she changed her mind. That I am putting her in a state of delusion. But before she called I had sent her a message saying Hey Baby, been thinking about it all. Now I don’t think we’ll have that conversation. I do care about you and the truth. I want the best for y’all both and myself included. I was just thinking about it all. I want us to have a healthy relationship and achieve our goals. I know what I’m going to and where I’m going. I’m going to the military taking advantage of all they offer. Going in as a physical medicine, do 4 years in. I’m going to move to Texas while there. Start my own practice. This isn’t me spitting out a dream, There’s no back up. This isn’t to come off as rude but I am doing this no matter what, the plan that I have for me will happen. Call me when you are ready to talk. I won’t text you a lot, rather we talk on the phone. I do care and love y’all. and replied with. Iwant you to win and I know you will win no matter the cost. But I’m upset because I felt like you were trying to say the right things and manipulate me. Knowing we weren’t in a place to do the things you spoke of. I love you but you’ve been making me feel like you're not serious about what you dream of or the things you say. I know your intentions are good but I feel like you’ll do best when you put yourself first. I’m sorry about everything Rae, but please be safe. I didn’t know what to say to this. So her email and minds are both link to my MacBook saw she was looking why does my boyfriend keep breaking his promises, should I stay with my boyfriend even though he keeps breaking his promises, my boyfriend loves me but his jobless, should I stay with my boyfriend even though his jobless, I love my boyfriend but his jobless. I wouldn’t reply till Wednesday overall telling her how I feel. I had poured my heart out and she replied saying don’t come there as her son won’t be there and she is happy for me. But I’m going stand on what I said. I don’t want to live in delusion. I have to get it right. I have a lot on the line. I’m going to focus on what it means to do the same. And it seems like she didn’t wait to move on as she has already started dating. Back in January my ex and I were talking. She would text me saying she’s experienced me breaking my word in the past and she doesn’t want to talk about things that aren’t going to happen. Then two days later she calls saying she doesn’t want to break up and we’re talking she then tells the baby daddy just popped up there. So later on that night she switched up. As she would say, she is a single mom building a life for her and her son. And she needs someone who can take care themselves as if she relied on me we wouldn’t have a place to stay. Saying she wants the best for all of us but she’s not going backwards she’s not settling. You don’t have to have everything figured out now but at least know what you're doing and where you’re going. I feel you do but I don’t want to sacrifice myself and I don’t want to be given dreams that don’t exist. You can research anything but it’s about having the balls to do, no excuses allowed. This is what she sent me on Saturday after earlier saying she doesn’t want to break up. We talked on the phone overall. She said she thinks we should break up, saying it’s not about finances. I asked her if she did want to but she didn’t say. Overall wouldn't her from till Monday calling me saying she wants to break up saying she changed her mind. That I am putting her in a state of delusion. But before she called I had sent her a message saying Hey Baby, been thinking about it all. Now I don’t think we’ll have that conversation. I do care about you and your son. I want the best for y’all both and myself included. I was just thinking about it all. I want us to have a healthy relationship and achieve our goals. I know what I’m going to and where I’m going. I’m going to the military taking advantage of all they offer. Going in as a physical medicine, do 4 years in. I’m going to move to Texas while there. Start my own practice. This isn’t me spitting out a dream, There’s no back up. This isn’t to come off as rude but I am doing this no matter what, the plan that I have for me will happen. Call me when you are ready to talk. I won’t text you a lot, rather we talk on the phone. I do care and love y’all. and replied with. Iwant you to win and I know you will win no matter the cost. But I’m upset because I felt like you were trying to say the right things and manipulate me. Knowing we weren’t in a place to do the things you spoke of. I love you but you’ve been making me feel like you're not serious about what you dream of or the things you say. I know your intentions are good but I feel like you’ll do best when you put yourself first. I’m sorry about everything Rae, but please be safe. I didn’t know what to say to this. So her email and minds are both link to my MacBook saw she was looking why does my boyfriend keep breaking his promises, should I stay with my boyfriend even though he keeps breaking his promises, my boyfriend loves me but his jobless, should I stay with my boyfriend even though his jobless, I love my boyfriend but his jobless. I wouldn’t reply till Wednesday overall telling her how I feel. I had poured my heart out and she replied saying don’t come there as her son won’t be there and she is happy for me. But I’m going stand on what I said. I don’t want to live in delusion. I have to get it right. I have a lot on the line. I’m going to focus on what it means you should do the same. And it seems like she didn’t wait to move on as she has already started dating. She had asked my brother last week how I’m doing. This Monday she reached out to me. Talking about Hey..I felt like I had to say something because I think about you often and I haven’t been able to let go with a peaceful heart and mind. The way things happened sucked, I know you were upset with me about Daniel. guy and I understand why. I wanted to talk to you about it but you kept pretending like you weren’t you. & I know how you talk. I talked to you everyday. Anyways I’m sorry..for everything. I’m so..sorry. I hope you're living a better life. I'll always pray you do great and root for you even though I’m not around. Thank you for loving me and allowing me to love you as well. I learned a lot. Bye… I replied to her, saying happy birthday to her son. She said she didn’t think I was going to respond to her. I questioned her why she kept saying bye as she only says that when she’s mad. We talked for a bit but never addressed why she reached out to me for real. She last texted me on Tuesday morning and said to enjoy my dad saying bye. I questioned her about it again, she said she didn’t want to say she’ll talk to me later as she wasn’t sure if we would. And said to enjoy my day. I didn’t reply to her until Thursday saying I replied back but I hope you did have a great day and said I know you have school so hmu later would like to talk. She read the message and didn’t reply. I don’t understand why she reached out to me. I’m 24 and she is 28 with a three year old son. Here I thought about proposing to her
Coach, great to see you. Hope you’re having an awesome weekend. So much of what you said really hit home. 20/20 is hindsight. I’m so glad I’ve learned, through past experiences, to put myself on a higher level/standard. People can only do to you….what you allow. Never forget that.
No contact applies to men too for women right? I’m a female and my ex was the one to leave me for his own selfish reasons because he said he wasn’t ready for me type bs. We were together for 2 years.
About Ultimatums ... Don't you lower your value if their reasons for leaving were petty so now you are giving rules of engagement. I'm not saying immediately. It sounds like you're lowering your worth, does it not? Please explain.
My ex broke up with me 1 month ago I've been in no contact ever since and today out of nowhere he send me work related document. No message no nothing. I just thanked him and said that i already got it myself and he said welcome.. nothing more. What does it mean? Also should i not have said anything? I love my ex and i want him back..
I tried no contact the day after the break up and she sent me a long paragraph saying that the chapter is closed. I then took it on the chin and replied saying I understand her wishes and wishes her the best of luck. And today she asked me about some pairs of shoes that she got me for my birthday that I couldn't bring myself to try on because I got broken up before my birthday and she gave them to me then. I don't want to keep wrecking my brain over if these are mixed signals or not and to be honest I want to continue NC and level up for myself and if she then sees that I have become a better me and things go well then happy days, if not then I guess I know that I have become a better me and can provide what I couldn't give to her in my future relationships. I love her so much that even me typing out the possibility of not getting back with her was hard enough
Thank you for another video. What’s crazy is I watch your videos. And they seem to be on the basis of getting your ex back. However my ex has hurt me so Bad. That I know I can’t go back. But I still get tips from this. I guess I want her to feel hurt like I did.
I almost feel like it be easier if my girl cheated on me or treated me like shit . Our relationship felt perfect and we were both on the same page every day . 6 years together and it always felt like our bond was getting stronger . Where we failed at was losing the love we had for ourselves and our own personal goals. I think it’s for the best even though it kills me to not talk to her every day
@@di114n2 you never know. I wouldn’t give up fully if nothing to crazy happened! No harm in doing the whole better yourself situation, and see if she comes knocking. Then the balls in your court. Wish you all the best with things
@@millwallfan06 Well she also can’t get over the fact I have a child from a previous relationship . So in the end it may never work . She may want to find a guy that doesn’t to be able to have that first experience together . I tried telling her just because I’ve already done that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be just as magical with you. She knew about this since our first date but after 6 years I guess she still can’t get over it. So just those two things are why we split other than that everything was amazing. I would gladly try to make things work again once I have my stuff together
Went into NC since December when she broke up with me .finally met up when she hired me to do some work for her last friday. We agreed to talk about things ended up spending the day together (8hrs ) on Saturday touching kissing and all but yet we agreed we are now friends . Coach what is happening here .i was ok moving but now I'm not too sure
Is this when the man leaves the woman or when the woman leaves her man ? Also some men like me fucked up over n over yrs n yrs until she got fed up uknow I understand not much I can do but jus hold it down
What happens if he began pulling away and it devolved into bread-crumbing, is there any possibility that he will be affected by my decision to be non-responsive to any communication that lacks substance? Is it still possible that he will want to try again? What I hear from dating coaches sounds like the only way to deal with a bread-crumbed is to end it. It essentially says that once a bread-crumber always a bread-crumber. It’s over. What do you have say about this situation?
It’s disrespect to you and to your relationship. It’s their way of keeping you “hooked” or keeping a hold on you for when they need your emotional support. Eventually they will get strong on their own but bread crumbing is “using” you for their own gain, giving no thought to how it messes with you and YOUR moving forward process 🥹🙌
Subject: Appreciation and Query Regarding Relationship Guidance Dear Coach Black, I hope this message finds you well. I am writing to express my sincere appreciation for the impactful work you do through your channel. Your meticulous approach in assembling resources and grounding your advice in research is truly commendable. Furthermore, your ability to convey complex concepts in a relatable manner has made a significant difference in my understanding and growth. Having recently discovered your channel, I have been avidly absorbing your content, particularly your insights on navigating relationship challenges such as breakups. However, I am curious about the extent to which your guidance applies to couples experiencing separations or those who have already undergone divorce and seek to rekindle their connection. Could you please shed light on whether the principles and strategies you share on your channel are relevant and beneficial to individuals in these situations as well? Thank you for your dedication to helping others navigate the complexities of relationships. I eagerly await your response. Thank you.
Coach I had a 2 years relationship, 2 months not contact, my ex contacted me twice asking me out saying he misses me ,,wanted to see me in person to talk , I didn’t act excited I was acting normal, I agreed to meet up, but he never contacted me again, we didn’t meet as he didn’t contact to confirm the date . Why he acted so needy and interested then now he disappeared?
With no contact do I reach out and wish my exs kids a happy birthday. Iv alway got on with them very well. They are 11 & 14. So I really have to message the mum to wish them well. It’s not appropriate if I message them directly??
My ex has a lot of stress with his work and therefore hardly has any time for anything else. Because of our child, I limit contact to writing but he always finds excuses not to stick to it. He thinks it's easier to call than to write a long text. I don't know what he feels or thinks and after 14 months I'm tired of thinking about it. However, I always have very emotional dreams about him. Why and how can I finally stop this?
I am mentally loosing it. I really need help. This man abandoned me with no reason. I have to see him everyday at work and it just keeps the hurt going
My ex has me blocked but today she text my mother saying she will marry into the family one way or another? Does that means she wants to get back together or is she seeing if it'll get reaction out me to find someway to contact her. As of right now I haven't reached out to her after she did this
Almost 4 months in no contact immediately after the breakup and still not a single word. At this point I basically feel ghosted and am at a loss for words. Time has not healed anything, it’s just taught me how to cope with it. I sometimes wonder if no contact was the reason we haven’t gotten back together.
Maybe its better that way? Im also in NC with mine ex for 4 months. But he did contact once. Only for manipulative me. Yet it was him who wanted to end this. Really bad for my emotions and mind. So trust me better NC than this. Take care.😘
She blocked me one day then waited two days and unblocked me on instagram but had me blocked on every other social media but two days ago she unblocked me on Facebook and TikTok randomly also Snapchat she waited two days then re blocked me on instagram and left me unblocked on the other socials what does this mean?
@@S.Randolph-hu5oh well I also noticed on call of duty I have her added on there and just today I saw she wasn’t online all day but I checked her rank it was at 166 and I saw she was offline but it went up to 168 and now 171 so she choose to appear offline instead of deleting me on there but I also think she choose to appear offline instead of her deleting me because she can use it to be like “I wonder if he’s moving on or talking to somebody wait let me check the game to see if he’s online” and then she’s like “well he’s online so that means he’s not out putting himself out there” so basically even though I’m putting no contact into play she still has something to be able to guarantee her I’m not doing anything, which is relieving her knowing I’m not moving on so I went ahead and deleted her off of it. Do you think that was a good move?
@@S.Randolph-hu5oh and I also noticed today she has me added on call of duty (let me also say she’s new to gaming but lately I’ve been noticing she’s been playing with some new friends so she doesn’t have a lot of people on her friends lists and she’s kept me added on there) but I saw her rank was at 166 and she was offline but all the sudden it went to 168 then to 171 so she’s now appearing offline to play and with me exercising no contact she’s able to use it as a guarantee that I’m not out here moving on she can just be like “I wonder what he’s doing is he moving on? Oh he’s just playing the game he’s okay” so it satisfies the unsureness of her knowing what I’m doing it’s a way of her reassuring that I’m still there right in front of her finger tips so I took the initiative to just delete her so she doesn’t have it at her advantage. Was this a good idea? And also should I just make my instagram private or leave it public and just go ghost or just delete it overall?
She’s a kid, man, you deserve better. Take it from this perspective, even if she doesn’t come back her next relationship will always be a failure because no one can stand her childish ways. So , work on your goals and you will be okay .
@@bigshane4ever930 So she already moved on. Could be a rebound that might end in a few months. If you want her back, your best options is to tell her to let you know when she's open for reconciliation and start indefinite no contact.
I was in no contact my girl called me after 25 days. I was busy that time so didn’t talked much. She just checked in. Now its been 7 days nothing from her. I didn’t called her bcoz dont want rust things. So should i call her or let her do the things ?
As far as I'm concerned, there's no purpose.Getting back with someone that showed you their true colors twice. Moving on is one thing trying to date is another
to anyone reading my comment, begging is the main reason they fr wont take you back and they love that ego boost of being wanted and treating you like trash unfortunately. i know its hard doing anything while losing someone you love but life really does move on with or without them and the only thing you really can do at this point is pick your self up, accept that they dont want you and that at the end of the day you really do only have your self which is why you want to push yourself to be the best version of yourself and love yourself more. i get that you have your bad days and youll want to cry but if you make it into a habit of working on yourself going to the gym, eating healthy etc. i promise you really will be focused on that more instead of being at home crying over someone who doesnt want you.
2:08 this story is going to twist some of you guys’ stomach twist and that’s bc most men don’t actuaIIy Iove/desire their vvoman. They Iove/desire the *lDEA or fantasy* of who she is. VVomen behave very coy, sweet & Iady-Iike when you meet them as a man, which only adds to men’s deIusions about them. I feIt compIete indifference towards that story, which was chosen for it’s dramatic plot, bc it’s like telling me water is wet. JFL at not dating a berjen, non-vvestern vvomen😹😹. l pity all you men who take dafing seriously in the west. “Ohhh, she’s different bro”😹😹😹
Why would ex narcissist husband post on social media and reach out to my friends and family that he's free and exploiting his new interest. He's blocked, but why just move on without the pony show. Thank you.
Coach he has been talking to me and he’s going on a trip on Monday so I suggested to go and see him tomorrow ( we’re at distance) and he told me he wants to wait until he comes back and we could go on dates I told him ok that we didn’t need to rush things but I wanted to see him
Remember this always , a woman’s words are only as good as her next emotion. The only true love you will get is from your mother. Everything your mother does for you is for your SURVIVAL and everything a Woman will do for you is for her SURVIVAL.
No. The only true love you will get is from your SELF. Each being is on a journey to love the self. Consider that having a child is no guarantee of attachment or connection. Mothers can, if able, provide a healthy nurturance for the being to grow up and attach to SELF. We share love. It's all attachment to others.
@@alchemicalsoul I agree with you 💯 about the self love. . I just want my fellow men to swallow this truth like a horse pill: Beside your mother, women are not wired to love a man. Due to their basic nature of hypergamy , self preservation and selfishness. They always want more and will find all the reasons to leave. She leads by emotion, today she may be with you because you are 6 ft tall ,muscular have a decent job Tomorrow she may leave you for a short fat man whom has a mansion . The next guy later on may be the pool boy with 6 packs because fat man works too much, and the cycle keep gong …
@@_Diaryofwealth I know it s difficult to swallow but you have to come to terms ,there is nothing you can do virtually as a man to please a woman. She is always going to find something to be unhappy.
When dealing with women always add... "I feel" at the front of their sentence and "right now" at the end. Example: There is no chemistry between us anymore. ---> 'I feel' like there is no chemistry between us 'right now.' People change their minds all the time.
It was a rumour that they dated for 7 years. He said in a interview woth kai cenai that it was less than a year. She said she was the one who bought the concert tickets for them.
My ex reached out 2 times within the first 28 days of NC.On the 2nd reach I asked my ex to have a conversation over the phone and my ex left me on seen.I got anxious and called my ex and then we had fight over the call.Then my ex blocked me again in WhatsApp.Did I ruin all my chances?Is there any hope?Coach blacademic please reply
Guys, it took seven months for my ex to come back telling me he misses me and wants to see me. I really had to put myself on the pedestal and realize how amazing I was because he was on the pedestal and I realized I was focused on how great he was, when you focus on yourself and do you, they will come back I promise.
Mine came back too with a significant message on day 40, but you have to be prepared with your standards. Otherwise, you separate all over again.
Thank you 😢it's been a month of no contact,I was able to stop begging finally and it's been a month,still watching your videos, thank you for this ,there is hope
Nah, there's people that will NEVER come back because deep down they didn't really care about you in the first place. They just used you for their own ego. I met one such person last year. So to that I say, good riddance! Even if they did come back, the hurtful things that were said can never be unsaid.
@@Goodwillwinoverevil1984 yes, not all exes come back which is why no contact is important to do because time reveals whose feelings were real and strong.
@thedivinelife3470 I totally believe you! The same thing is going to happen to me!
I still love your vids after moving on. Its relationship psychology ❤
Breezy chased Karrueche until she got a restraining order on him. She was a nobody compared to him, and especially billionaire RiRi. Celebs simp and chase too. And there's countless stories of Drake acting low value over IG models. Yet they could get thousands more girls on the same level and higher if they wanted. So everyone is victim of it if their emotions aren't in check. We're all human. Being high value in this case is really just having dignity and self respect.
True true. This was spot on
Brother. I appreciate the wisdom. Got dumped from a 3 year awesome relationship. I’m 3 weeks no contact. But for the first 3 weeks of our breakup we were living together and my anxiety was higher than it’s ever been. I didn’t know that chasing wasn’t what you should do, I had perhaps watched too many movies. I cried, tried to make a grand gesture, tried to lean on her for comfort and she went cold on me. By the time I moved out I had gotten much better, even left displaying some confidence and dignity. but I’m afraid the damage is already done by me acting immature and unattractive. It was a great relationship and I feel like the odds were high for us to get back together if I hadn’t done that (I didn’t do anything too crazy or malicious I was just very emotional). Wish I would’ve known how to handle this situation before hand. Because of my emotional response making me appear low value, I’m expecting 6 months minimum no contact. Just sucks to know I blew that. I’m behaving right now though!
From what you typed I’m going through something similar. Almost a 3 year relationship and I’m starting no contact today. How have you handled it? I want to stick with not reaching out but it breaks my heart knowing he just lost his grandma (2 days before he broke up with me). We broke up just a week ago…
@@analauramongefonseca2135 I’ve been in no contact just over 40 days now. Second guess myself every day, anxiety through the roof. Be prepared for serious ups and downs it’s not fun. I’ve just been trying to do small things for myself every day to get a little better. Started going to therapy, and leaning on my support system. Over the last month I’ve become closer with my parents than I have been in years because I call them so much.
My therapist is recommending I break no contact because I’m so anxious. I can tell she thinks I may be delusional that I’ll be able to get my ex back. Not sure what I’m gonna do yet.
If he needed your support he would reach out. Your obviously not a source of support from him. Focus on ur needs@analauramongefonseca2135
Can I ask if things worked out between the 2 of you
I love how you explain the whole mechanics behind this, makes it a lot easier to stick with when it all kinda makes sense
Love will make you do things you have never done before and never thought you would. Love controls everything and you have no control over who you love. I never want to feel this again unless that person loves me at the same level
It's over two months no contact still no reach out,but I don't feel that great pain more.
When my ex with untreated mental health issues reached out to me after he broke up with me I gave the "ultimatum" I would not talk to him unless he is in therapy for awhile. There was a time, not too long ago, he would've done anything to be with me. We both have to focus on ourselves right now. Maybe he never recovers, and I will move on.. but always have love for him from a distance.
“Are you the type of person that they would do anything to be with” Great advice Coach
Totally unrelated and i'm not even trying to get with my ex, but you look quite good without the beenie!
I'd be interested one day to see a video of yours which compares how narcissistic women behave compared to non narcissistic women, in relationships and breakups
The difference is, narcissists don’t care and return for their own selfish reasons.
I actually thought exactly the same thing.
A lady like the one who went on stage to do lewd things with the artist mostly likely is narcisstic and is not worth pursuing. How you destroy a relationship matters and says a lot about your character.
we need this video Coach Blac. I went through a breakup with a covert narcissist 7 months ago
Narcs always come back they’re easy …. Ignore them
@@OnderHassanif you listen to what he says- every one comes back for their own selfish reasons
Been doing no contact for months but still no luck. I feel like there wasn’t truly love on her side. Instead trying to mold me into the man that she wanted and getting resentful and leaving when I didn’t change. Moving on.
It took months of no contact for me as well. As soon as I said "F" it and truly started working on me and having fun doing things I enjoy..... guess who surfaced. No, we are not back together however, he reaches out to me (texting) every 3-5 days and will call normally once a week. I am actually embracing this time because I have found myself again, he has had time to miss and appreciate "me" for who I am. It will all work out for the best.
I just want to say, sometimes, if you love someone, ignoring them won't help. It will depend on the kind of breakup. Just came across this after getting back with my ex. I dumped him because he was always busy and emotionally unavailable. After the break up, we didnt speak for a week then he started begging. Showing me he was sorry and he would fix what he took for granted. I took him back. Had he ignores me for 4weeks, trying to "prove his value", I probably would've just moved on. I love him so much and just needed him to show me he feels the same.
i think my girl left for the same reasons, but said she "lost herself" when she broke up. i haven't reached out for the last moneth to give her space but i want to meet up and tell her how i feel. should i still go for it?
@garbuglio66 I hope you did reach out. The internet can be a toxic place. Atleast try and if you still fail, you'll have no regrets. It's better than sitting alone 5years later, asking yourself "what if". I don't know, entirely up to you but I'm glad my man fought for us and we're making it work.
You love him so much but you would move on after 4 weeks?
It’s been a year since we last spoke. My therapist says she’ll eventually come back around because of who I am as a person. But by that time because of all the work I will have done on myself, shouldn’t go back for the sake of my own mental health.
What if your EX was a really good person and kinda "needed" to go cause u just didnt love yourself and she tried her best for a year. Only after that I woke up, its been 3 1/2 months. I think she is hurt a lot aswell honestly. I m just building myself up rn, found a good job, lost 20 kgs (healthy way with training and a good diet) my body changed soo much, i feel better. I have new goals for myself etc. and i m feeling good.
I d still love to have her back in my life when Im REALLY happy with myself. Its not because I "need" her, but more because I want to give her what she deserved. Which was me in a good condition. I had good sides. I will keep them. But for the rest. You can not love someone if you dont love yourself. Its just true i guess
Good riddance. You don't need someone like that in your life that would leave you because it doesn't suite them anymore. Relationships should be about loving and supportive commitment, not bailing if problems arise.
Brother, my ex dumped me exactly a year ago, avoidant girl.. red flag, I started dating another girl, saw my ex 3 days ago with another guy, I have somewhat feelings but I did block her everywhere, we don't need such people in our lives , we deserve better, we are awesome! Do not look back, do not take her back if she comes back anytime, I won't do it with my ex either, looking forward to a better future with the new girl
@svasianphilippinesgo6858 well said, sister
@@HojaFPS ohhh no doubt we weren’t good for each other. I recognized that as well. Oh no noo part of the problem was that she was hurting, from family stuff, from ex stuff, from just life pressures in general, she just didn’t want to ever share that stuff even though I could see it. Trust me I hope she’s doing well but we just weren’t right for each other, on both sides. She was a good person but we weren’t good for each other. Always, you can’t give what you don’t have. Which is why I am in therapy😂
These videos are so enlightening. I'm single and not trying to get an ex back, but this is great info for future reference (if needed).
One thing I've learnt from you is maturity, I no longer want my ex back am so happy where I am, well the power dynamic has exchanged she is the one begging to come back after 4 months of monkey branching me. Bro thank you so much I really appreciate your work🙏🙏
You talk about having to be higher value than your ex. The weird thing in my situation is:
I truly think I'm "higher value" than my ex. As in, I'm relatively wealthy, have a good career, my own place, good education, look decently attractive and take care of my body.
Meanwhile, compared to my ex, she's broke, unemployed, lives with her parents, doesn't work out. And I've always treated her well.
Still, she was the one who left me, to pursue some other guy, who is honestly a downgrade compared to me (I know it sounds arrogant, but he truly is.)
Well it’s more about how you ACT. You might actually be higher value but if for example you believe she is the most attractive girl you have ever dated or that she is the best you can get.
You start acting like you don’t deserve to be there
@@blacademic I see! Thanks for your reply and your videos.
Sometimes being your "ex" is the very best outcome trust me!
💯 I am the ex 😂😂😂
What if u starts to feel now u deserve better than Ur ex
Maybe you started to heal? I also think i deserve better now but still miss him. I think im in healing progress. At least i hope. 😘
@@elizabeths.4311 hopefully dear..life is not easy. Breakup teach us so many things. Hope v get through this gracefully
You are. I’m finally now past the healing, which took awhile. I can now say, I love him, and I will always miss him, but I’m not in love with him anymore. Those broken parts of me, that attracted him to me are now healed. The things that I thought were attractive in him, red flags that I missed, ignored, his patterns, whatever it may be, were because those were broken parts of me also, and places that needed healing, and now that they are healed. I’m not even attracted to him anymore. I’m actually disgusted with what I allowed. You both are healing. Be patient and be kind to yourself. If we knew better, we would’ve done better, the best part is yet to come! We have so much healing, everyone does. Only Jesus didn’t need it lol. I allowed so much because I was so broken. Once you heal, you’ll beat yourself up a lot in the process, please don’t, we make mistakes and learn, but once you start, you’ll go over the relationship, and you’ll see things that you wouldn’t allow now, even if you’re speaking to them now, and they are still acting the same way, something you would’ve let slide, or caved into, is now affecting you differently. Now, you’re stronger to walk away, you won’t give so many chances, you don’t let somebody disrespect you anymore, you’re not afraid to speak up about your emotions anymore. There’s so many things that you allowed, that we all allowed because we were broken, and they were broken in the same places. When you heal, the love is still going to be there, but it’s going to be easier to walk away, because you’re gonna finally be able to see that the parts of you, that fell in love with that person, were also the same broken parts of them and now that they are healed, you don’t want it anymore ….you don’t need it, and you know you deserve better, and you believe it.
@@daughteroftheking6402 wow u are amazing 😍...very true i was broken so I allowed so many unacceptable behaviour. When I look back I feel bad how come I did or let him do. Now I feel m different. It's ok of things doesnt turned around. Sometimes it hurts I guess it's part of healing process.
Well if I wasn’t the best option in the first place then there’s no reason to wait for him to come back and be that first option. He just lost someone real .
Find new love!!! Too many fish in the sea to be stuck on an Ex! 😂😂
My ex and I were together for 3 years and the first 2 years was amazing and the last 7 month it wasn’t the best I’m responsible for 70% of the problems. After us breaking up she has a new bf now after 20-30 days of breaking up with me fully in a committed relationship it’s been the hardest thing I’ve ever faced my entire life 💔
I find your videos to be very helpful! I subbed, I’m following and feel as though many people are taking away something very valuable after watching them. 👍🏻
Thanks for watching
I have been in no contact 3 months. I am not sure if I want him now because he has become less attractive to me but the love is still.there. But why would I want someone that already had been with some for 3 months BEFORE I came over and found her there. I wish it had been different. 7 years wasted
Don't ever react when you think she wants you to. This will help her and make her think what she wants to belive that you're unattractive in showing weaknesses. Focus on your own sanity, workout, eat good and she will return. Build that attraction! ❤
I didn’t do anything.. he is the one that did the betrayal
Of course ☕ 🙄🙄
Have just started to watch you ….what great advice and can’t wait for next video Regards Wendy Kent England 😊
Thank God for you and teaching young men on how to deal with heart break i love you coach
You are correct . I sent a letter to my ex , he didn’t read it at all he burnt it and sent a picture of me burning it
My ex Un blocked me on Facebook in I haven’t been reaching out but she hasn’t added me I don’t know what it means
If you’re both high value how do you align again. I’ve done no contact to give him space and myself healing. I feel at times when I did reach out long ago during our rocky stages it would boost his ego and made him feel that he got me while being unfaithful. So now I’ve done no contact and there’s silence. I’ve accepted it. I know I’m high value and I do come across good men. However, connection is hard to come about now and days.
Damnnnn!!!! I wanted this so badddd! It came right on point!❤ thank youuuu
Thanks for watching!
No contact does work I’m an example. I just can’t seem to follow through in the correct way. I’m listening and have been to all of Coaches videos since September and it’s finally sinking in & I get it. I’m a catch & it’s my exs loss. I don’t know what will happen but I’m the prize! Thanks for this Great video…
If my ex gf neglected to text me happy bday, when a few weeks ago she said she’d take me out…. Should I assume it’s over? Not sure if I should even give her another chance. Thanks for all that you do, Coach Blac!
I would, personally that's a deal breaker for me. I've been dying to get my DA ex back for the longest and it hurts. Difference is she still reaches out and we still go out together here and there, nothing romantic, but I can see she sees me growing and changing (better job, working out, travelling). My birthday is March 13th....bro if she doesn't remember.....IM DONE. PERIOD. just sayin
@@gokuwufei99 thanks! yea, that's what i figured. It was a painful realization. Mid-january she said we were "close." But then a few weeks later you can't even text two words, "happy birthday" to me? and conveniently forget that you offered to take me out and now are ghosting me? It's over.
@@gokuwufei99 updates? 🙌
My ex and I have been on and off dating for over a year . She is older than me with a three year old son. She just moved to a different state. She said wanted to stay together. I have decided to go into the military but I got into a car accident back in the beginning of December and didn't have a job until Tuesday as no one was reaching back to me. She kept saying how misses me and loves me. I Want to be married and do all the things we talked about. But whenever I talk about going to fly to her and see her and her soon or take her on a trip because I want to go somewhere before I leave. She got mad saying I don’t have a job. This happened last Thursday. She would text me saying she’s experienced me breaking my word in the past and she doesn’t want to talk about things that aren’t going to happen. Then two days later she calls saying she doesn’t want to break up and we’re talking she then tells the baby daddy just popped up there. So later on that night she switched up. As she would say, she is a single mom building a life for her and her son. And she needs someone who can take care themselves as if she relied on me we wouldn’t have a place to stay. Saying she wants the best for all of us but she’s not going backwards she’s not settling. You don’t have to have everything figured out now but at least know what you're doing and where you’re going. I feel you do but I don’t want to sacrifice myself and I don’t want to be given dreams that don’t exist. You can research anything but it’s about having the balls to do, no excuses allowed. This is what she sent me on Saturday after earlier saying she doesn’t want to break up. We talked on the phone overall. She said she thinks we should break up, saying it’s not about finances. I asked her if she wanted to but she didn’t say. Overall wouldn't her from till Monday calling me saying she wants to break up saying she changed her mind. That I am putting her in a state of delusion. But before she called I had sent her a message saying Hey Baby, been thinking about it all. Now I don’t think we’ll have that conversation. I do care about you and the truth. I want the best for y’all both and myself included. I was just thinking about it all. I want us to have a healthy relationship and achieve our goals. I know what I’m going to and where I’m going. I’m going to the military taking advantage of all they offer. Going in as a physical medicine, do 4 years in. I’m going to move to Texas while there. Start my own practice. This isn’t me spitting out a dream, There’s no back up. This isn’t to come off as rude but I am doing this no matter what, the plan that I have for me will happen. Call me when you are ready to talk. I won’t text you a lot, rather we talk on the phone. I do care and love y’all. and replied with. Iwant you to win and I know you will win no matter the cost. But I’m upset because I felt like you were trying to say the right things and manipulate me. Knowing we weren’t in a place to do the things you spoke of. I love you but you’ve been making me feel like you're not serious about what you dream of or the things you say. I know your intentions are good but I feel like you’ll do best when you put yourself first. I’m sorry about everything Rae, but please be safe. I didn’t know what to say to this. So her email and minds are both link to my MacBook saw she was looking why does my boyfriend keep breaking his promises, should I stay with my boyfriend even though he keeps breaking his promises, my boyfriend loves me but his jobless, should I stay with my boyfriend even though his jobless, I love my boyfriend but his jobless. I wouldn’t reply till Wednesday overall telling her how I feel. I had poured my heart out and she replied saying don’t come there as her son won’t be there and she is happy for me. But I’m going stand on what I said. I don’t want to live in delusion. I have to get it right. I have a lot on the line. I’m going to focus on what it means to do the same. And it seems like she didn’t wait to move on as she has already started dating.
Back in January my ex and I were talking. She would text me saying she’s experienced me breaking my word in the past and she doesn’t want to talk about things that aren’t going to happen. Then two days later she calls saying she doesn’t want to break up and we’re talking she then tells the baby daddy just popped up there. So later on that night she switched up. As she would say, she is a single mom building a life for her and her son. And she needs someone who can take care themselves as if she relied on me we wouldn’t have a place to stay. Saying she wants the best for all of us but she’s not going backwards she’s not settling. You don’t have to have everything figured out now but at least know what you're doing and where you’re going. I feel you do but I don’t want to sacrifice myself and I don’t want to be given dreams that don’t exist. You can research anything but it’s about having the balls to do, no excuses allowed. This is what she sent me on Saturday after earlier saying she doesn’t want to break up. We talked on the phone overall. She said she thinks we should break up, saying it’s not about finances. I asked her if she did want to but she didn’t say. Overall wouldn't her from till Monday calling me saying she wants to break up saying she changed her mind. That I am putting her in a state of delusion. But before she called I had sent her a message saying Hey Baby, been thinking about it all. Now I don’t think we’ll have that conversation. I do care about you and your son. I want the best for y’all both and myself included. I was just thinking about it all. I want us to have a healthy relationship and achieve our goals. I know what I’m going to and where I’m going. I’m going to the military taking advantage of all they offer. Going in as a physical medicine, do 4 years in. I’m going to move to Texas while there. Start my own practice. This isn’t me spitting out a dream, There’s no back up. This isn’t to come off as rude but I am doing this no matter what, the plan that I have for me will happen. Call me when you are ready to talk. I won’t text you a lot, rather we talk on the phone. I do care and love y’all. and replied with. Iwant you to win and I know you will win no matter the cost. But I’m upset because I felt like you were trying to say the right things and manipulate me. Knowing we weren’t in a place to do the things you spoke of. I love you but you’ve been making me feel like you're not serious about what you dream of or the things you say. I know your intentions are good but I feel like you’ll do best when you put yourself first. I’m sorry about everything Rae, but please be safe. I didn’t know what to say to this. So her email and minds are both link to my MacBook saw she was looking why does my boyfriend keep breaking his promises, should I stay with my boyfriend even though he keeps breaking his promises, my boyfriend loves me but his jobless, should I stay with my boyfriend even though his jobless, I love my boyfriend but his jobless. I wouldn’t reply till Wednesday overall telling her how I feel. I had poured my heart out and she replied saying don’t come there as her son won’t be there and she is happy for me. But I’m going stand on what I said. I don’t want to live in delusion. I have to get it right. I have a lot on the line. I’m going to focus on what it means you should do the same. And it seems like she didn’t wait to move on as she has already started dating. She had asked my brother last week how I’m doing. This Monday she reached out to me. Talking about Hey..I felt like I had to say something because I think about you often and I haven’t been able to let go with a peaceful heart and mind. The way things happened sucked, I know you were upset with me about Daniel. guy and I understand why. I wanted to talk to you about it but you kept pretending like you weren’t you. & I know how you talk. I talked to you everyday. Anyways I’m sorry..for everything. I’m so..sorry. I hope you're living a better life. I'll always pray you do great and root for you even though I’m not around. Thank you for loving me and allowing me to love you as well. I learned a lot. Bye…
I replied to her, saying happy birthday to her son. She said she didn’t think I was going to respond to her. I questioned her why she kept saying bye as she only says that when she’s mad. We talked for a bit but never addressed why she reached out to me for real. She last texted me on Tuesday morning and said to enjoy my dad saying bye. I questioned her about it again, she said she didn’t want to say she’ll talk to me later as she wasn’t sure if we would. And said to enjoy my day. I didn’t reply to her until Thursday saying I replied back but I hope you did have a great day and said I know you have school so hmu later would like to talk. She read the message and didn’t reply. I don’t understand why she reached out to me. I’m 24 and she is 28 with a three year old son. Here I thought about proposing to her
Coach your videos heal me daily even though I feel in my heart now that she has a new bf she won’t ever come back to me
Coach, great to see you. Hope you’re having an awesome weekend. So much of what you said really hit home. 20/20 is hindsight. I’m so glad I’ve learned, through past experiences, to put myself on a higher level/standard. People can only do to you….what you allow. Never forget that.
I can’t agree I lot of us is know when can do better but will be with a person bc we love them
You are the best Coach Blac! 🙌🏽
Thank you for watching!
No contact applies to men too for women right? I’m a female and my ex was the one to leave me for his own selfish reasons because he said he wasn’t ready for me type bs. We were together for 2 years.
About Ultimatums ...
Don't you lower your value if their reasons for leaving were petty so now you are giving rules of engagement. I'm not saying immediately.
It sounds like you're lowering your worth, does it not?
Please explain.
Boundaries are different from ultimatums.
@blacademic
Noted. Thanks. Your videos are a stream of healing...even in the event our ex's don't come back.
My ex broke up with me 1 month ago I've been in no contact ever since and today out of nowhere he send me work related document. No message no nothing. I just thanked him and said that i already got it myself and he said welcome.. nothing more.
What does it mean? Also should i not have said anything?
I love my ex and i want him back..
Why do we want to get back with these people that have hurt us so badly????
I got my answer !! Thanks for the insight !!
I tried no contact the day after the break up and she sent me a long paragraph saying that the chapter is closed. I then took it on the chin and replied saying I understand her wishes and wishes her the best of luck. And today she asked me about some pairs of shoes that she got me for my birthday that I couldn't bring myself to try on because I got broken up before my birthday and she gave them to me then. I don't want to keep wrecking my brain over if these are mixed signals or not and to be honest I want to continue NC and level up for myself and if she then sees that I have become a better me and things go well then happy days, if not then I guess I know that I have become a better me and can provide what I couldn't give to her in my future relationships. I love her so much that even me typing out the possibility of not getting back with her was hard enough
Thank you for another video. What’s crazy is I watch your videos. And they seem to be on the basis of getting your ex back. However my ex has hurt me so
Bad. That I know I can’t go back. But I still get tips from this. I guess I want her to feel hurt like I did.
I almost feel like it be easier if my girl cheated on me or treated me like shit . Our relationship felt perfect and we were both on the same page every day . 6 years together and it always felt like our bond was getting stronger . Where we failed at was losing the love we had for ourselves and our own personal goals. I think it’s for the best even though it kills me to not talk to her every day
@@di114n2 you never know. I wouldn’t give up fully if nothing to crazy happened! No harm in doing the whole better yourself situation, and see if she comes knocking. Then the balls in your court. Wish you all the best with things
@@millwallfan06 Well she also can’t get over the fact I have a child from a previous relationship . So in the end it may never work . She may want to find a guy that doesn’t to be able to have that first experience together . I tried telling her just because I’ve already done that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be just as magical with you. She knew about this since our first date but after 6 years I guess she still can’t get over it. So just those two things are why we split other than that everything was amazing. I would gladly try to make things work again once I have my stuff together
My ex isnt coming back. Hard to accept but its reality. Its been 36 days and he could care less
Hi Coach, sorry to bother you but is there any way i can message / email you about my situation? I need some advice. Please and thank you!
Look in the description
Went into NC since December when she broke up with me .finally met up when she hired me to do some work for her last friday.
We agreed to talk about things ended up spending the day together (8hrs ) on Saturday touching kissing and all but yet we agreed we are now friends .
Coach what is happening here .i was ok moving but now I'm not too sure
Is this when the man leaves the woman or when the woman leaves her man ? Also some men like me fucked up over n over yrs n yrs until she got fed up uknow I understand not much I can do but jus hold it down
What to do on no contact if you have kids?
What happens if he began pulling away and it devolved into bread-crumbing, is there any possibility that he will be affected by my decision to be non-responsive to any communication that lacks substance? Is it still possible that he will want to try again? What I hear from dating coaches sounds like the only way to deal with a bread-crumbed is to end it. It essentially says that once a bread-crumber always a bread-crumber. It’s over. What do you have say about this situation?
It’s disrespect to you and to your relationship. It’s their way of keeping you “hooked” or keeping a hold on you for when they need your emotional support. Eventually they will get strong on their own but bread crumbing is “using” you for their own gain, giving no thought to how it messes with you and YOUR moving forward process 🥹🙌
This!! ❤ exactly what I needed to hear RN. TY❤❤
🙏
Bro, this one is pretty good. I love th eexample . I would like to talk to you oneday man,
You may be the best option for your ex but they don't feel good enough for you and don't want to be rejected by you so would rather be away from you.
100% what happened to me. It sucks because there's nothing you can do in that situation. You can't bring yourself down, you are who you are
Does NC actually work when you have a child and she is in a new relationship?
Subject: Appreciation and Query Regarding Relationship Guidance
Dear Coach Black,
I hope this message finds you well. I am writing to express my sincere appreciation for the impactful work you do through your channel. Your meticulous approach in assembling resources and grounding your advice in research is truly commendable. Furthermore, your ability to convey complex concepts in a relatable manner has made a significant difference in my understanding and growth.
Having recently discovered your channel, I have been avidly absorbing your content, particularly your insights on navigating relationship challenges such as breakups. However, I am curious about the extent to which your guidance applies to couples experiencing separations or those who have already undergone divorce and seek to rekindle their connection.
Could you please shed light on whether the principles and strategies you share on your channel are relevant and beneficial to individuals in these situations as well?
Thank you for your dedication to helping others navigate the complexities of relationships. I eagerly await your response.
Thank you.
Do you plan to make a video on books you would recommend?
Coach I had a 2 years relationship, 2 months not contact, my ex contacted me twice asking me out saying he misses me ,,wanted to see me in person to talk , I didn’t act excited I was acting normal, I agreed to meet up, but he never contacted me again, we didn’t meet as he didn’t contact to confirm the date . Why he acted so needy and interested then now he disappeared?
Hello I would like to book a session for tomorrow
With no contact do I reach out and wish my exs kids a happy birthday. Iv alway got on with them very well. They are 11 & 14. So I really have to message the mum to wish them well. It’s not appropriate if I message them directly??
What happens when the dumper suggest no contact as we shouldn’t speak as much?
My ex has a lot of stress with his work and therefore hardly has any time for anything else. Because of our child, I limit contact to writing but he always finds excuses not to stick to it. He thinks it's easier to call than to write a long text. I don't know what he feels or thinks and after 14 months I'm tired of thinking about it. However, I always have very emotional dreams about him. Why and how can I finally stop this?
I am mentally loosing it. I really need help. This man abandoned me with no reason. I have to see him everyday at work and it just keeps the hurt going
Been there. When we stopped working together or we went home office, we started forgetting each other.
It’s been 10 months since my breakup and my ex hasn’t come back and I’m still blocked from SM. So I’m moving on
My ex has me blocked but today she text my mother saying she will marry into the family one way or another? Does that means she wants to get back together or is she seeing if it'll get reaction out me to find someway to contact her. As of right now I haven't reached out to her after she did this
Really good, sorry i dont know your name
You are so right . Be blessed and safe. Miss . Linda ❤🙏🏽❤
Does no contact work with a child involved and if she is in a new relationship?
Hats off man🎉
Almost 4 months in no contact immediately after the breakup and still not a single word. At this point I basically feel ghosted and am at a loss for words. Time has not healed anything, it’s just taught me how to cope with it. I sometimes wonder if no contact was the reason we haven’t gotten back together.
❤
Maybe its better that way? Im also in NC with mine ex for 4 months. But he did contact once. Only for manipulative me. Yet it was him who wanted to end this. Really bad for my emotions and mind. So trust me better NC than this. Take care.😘
Thanks!
I looked it up. You can see the video omay lay
She blocked me one day then waited two days and unblocked me on instagram but had me blocked on every other social media but two days ago she unblocked me on Facebook and TikTok randomly also Snapchat she waited two days then re blocked me on instagram and left me unblocked on the other socials what does this mean?
Coach has a video about this scenario. Your ex is trying to get a reaction stay strong!
@@S.Randolph-hu5oh well I also noticed on call of duty I have her added on there and just today I saw she wasn’t online all day but I checked her rank it was at 166 and I saw she was offline but it went up to 168 and now 171 so she choose to appear offline instead of deleting me on there but I also think she choose to appear offline instead of her deleting me because she can use it to be like “I wonder if he’s moving on or talking to somebody wait let me check the game to see if he’s online” and then she’s like “well he’s online so that means he’s not out putting himself out there” so basically even though I’m putting no contact into play she still has something to be able to guarantee her I’m not doing anything, which is relieving her knowing I’m not moving on so I went ahead and deleted her off of it. Do you think that was a good move?
@@S.Randolph-hu5oh and I also noticed today she has me added on call of duty (let me also say she’s new to gaming but lately I’ve been noticing she’s been playing with some new friends so she doesn’t have a lot of people on her friends lists and she’s kept me added on there) but I saw her rank was at 166 and she was offline but all the sudden it went to 168 then to 171 so she’s now appearing offline to play and with me exercising no contact she’s able to use it as a guarantee that I’m not out here moving on she can just be like “I wonder what he’s doing is he moving on? Oh he’s just playing the game he’s okay” so it satisfies the unsureness of her knowing what I’m doing it’s a way of her reassuring that I’m still there right in front of her finger tips so I took the initiative to just delete her so she doesn’t have it at her advantage. Was this a good idea? And also should I just make my instagram private or leave it public and just go ghost or just delete it overall?
She’s a kid, man, you deserve better. Take it from this perspective, even if she doesn’t come back her next relationship will always be a failure because no one can stand her childish ways. So , work on your goals and you will be okay .
Honestly she's Immature you can do better
Great advice
This is why "no contact" is time to cultivate ME...
What about if I dumped her and now I want her back and she’s hesitant or maybe done really wanna come back?
You called/texted her yet and told her that?
@@tsu1246 Yes and now she keeps rewinding past arguments and anger. Just found out she got another guy.
@@bigshane4ever930 So she already moved on. Could be a rebound that might end in a few months. If you want her back, your best options is to tell her to let you know when she's open for reconciliation and start indefinite no contact.
I was in no contact my girl called me after 25 days. I was busy that time so didn’t talked much. She just checked in. Now its been 7 days nothing from her. I didn’t called her bcoz dont want rust things. So should i call her or let her do the things ?
Let her go. . don't respond next time.
Let her go just keep on your healing journey
I agree with everything. Except for the fact that Drake is simp 😂😂😂😂
As far as I'm concerned, there's no purpose.Getting back with someone that showed you their true colors twice. Moving on is one thing trying to date is another
Agree 100%
to anyone reading my comment, begging is the main reason they fr wont take you back and they love that ego boost of being wanted and treating you like trash unfortunately. i know its hard doing anything while losing someone you love but life really does move on with or without them and the only thing you really can do at this point is pick your self up, accept that they dont want you and that at the end of the day you really do only have your self which is why you want to push yourself to be the best version of yourself and love yourself more. i get that you have your bad days and youll want to cry but if you make it into a habit of working on yourself going to the gym, eating healthy etc. i promise you really will be focused on that more instead of being at home crying over someone who doesnt want you.
7 years of being bf/gf is the keyword here. He wasn't planning a committed future with her anyway so he got served 🤭🤭🤭
Why my comments are getting deleted?
2:08 this story is going to twist some of you guys’ stomach twist and that’s bc most men don’t actuaIIy Iove/desire their vvoman. They Iove/desire the *lDEA or fantasy* of who she is.
VVomen behave very coy, sweet & Iady-Iike when you meet them as a man, which only adds to men’s deIusions about them.
I feIt compIete indifference towards that story, which was chosen for it’s dramatic plot, bc it’s like telling me water is wet.
JFL at not dating a berjen, non-vvestern vvomen😹😹.
l pity all you men who take dafing seriously in the west. “Ohhh, she’s different bro”😹😹😹
Why would ex narcissist husband post on social media and reach out to my friends and family that he's free and exploiting his new interest. He's blocked, but why just move on without the pony show. Thank you.
Coach he has been talking to me and he’s going on a trip on Monday so I suggested to go and see him tomorrow ( we’re at distance) and he told me he wants to wait until he comes back and we could go on dates I told him ok that we didn’t need to rush things but I wanted to see him
7 years was a rumor coach 😭
The boyfriend confirmed they dated a year
lol yeah just heard that, thanks for the update though…. Still valid
Remember this always , a woman’s words are only as good as her next emotion. The only true love you will get is from your mother. Everything your mother does for you is for your SURVIVAL and everything a Woman will do for you is for her SURVIVAL.
Wow. That’s so true.
No. The only true love you will get is from your SELF. Each being is on a journey to love the self. Consider that having a child is no guarantee of attachment or connection. Mothers can, if able, provide a healthy nurturance for the being to grow up and attach to SELF. We share love. It's all attachment to others.
@@alchemicalsoul I agree with you 💯 about the self love. . I just want my fellow men to swallow this truth like a horse pill: Beside your mother, women are not wired to love a man. Due to their basic nature of hypergamy , self preservation and selfishness. They always want more and will find all the reasons to leave. She leads by emotion, today she may be with you because you are 6 ft tall ,muscular have a decent job Tomorrow she may leave you for a short fat man whom has a mansion . The next guy later on may be the pool boy with 6 packs because fat man works too much, and the cycle keep gong …
This is bullshit
@@_Diaryofwealth I know it s difficult to swallow but you have to come to terms ,there is nothing you can do virtually as a man to please a woman. She is always going to find something to be unhappy.
When dealing with women always add... "I feel" at the front of their sentence and "right now" at the end.
Example: There is no chemistry between us anymore. ---> 'I feel' like there is no chemistry between us 'right now.' People change their minds all the time.
It was a rumour that they dated for 7 years. He said in a interview woth kai cenai that it was less than a year. She said she was the one who bought the concert tickets for them.
My ex reached out 2 times within the first 28 days of NC.On the 2nd reach I asked my ex to have a conversation over the phone and my ex left me on seen.I got anxious and called my ex and then we had fight over the call.Then my ex blocked me again in WhatsApp.Did I ruin all my chances?Is there any hope?Coach blacademic please reply
Watch his videos on polarity
You didn't ruin all chances. You just made it a little harder or delayed the process. Back to NC and working on yourself.
No contact is brutal when you still love that person. Its like no one else exists in the world
Does NC actually work when you have a child and she is in a new relationship?