@@Dirane670 the greatest pain and betrayal I’ve ever experienced in my life. 24hr turnaround from looking at houses and trying for a baby, to her going to a party, coming home the next day, giving the engagement ring back, and walking out the door to run away with her best friend that’s going through a divorce. Single girls make girls single, that’s for sure. Left me with the dogs, apartment termination fees, and everything else after 4 years. Absolutely the wildest, most infuriating thing I’ve ever experienced in my life. Just picking up the pieces. All I can do is give it all to God now and try to maintain my sanity😅
Spot on. As hard as it is, you have to love a person in such a way that they feel free. The right person will always choose you no matter what the circumstance.
YOU CANT FIGHT REAL LOVE!!! , YALL PLEASE STOP SITTING AROUND WAITING WEEKS AND MONTHS FOR PEOPLE…. IF THAT PERSON REALLY LOVED AND VALUE U YOU WONT GO A DAY WITHOUT HEARING FROM THEM!!!! …… ENJOY BEING SINGLE WHILE U HAVE NO DISTRACTION NOBODY DEPENDING ON YOU! GO WORK ON YOURSELVES LOVE YOURSELF STOP BEING SCARED TO BE SINGLE.
NC for 5 months and I will never break it neither take her back. Funny thing is I recall how I felt when I started it, was so down. With time passing by, I can clearly see she doesn’t deserve me. You can’t be good enough for wrong people. And in my opinion, the most important lesson I learnt using no contact is to never ever disrespect myself for any person on this planet. Cheers coach for helping ex-good person, but now even better and strong person.
@@greggreg9510 8:08 we have to be at a powerful place where we are done with them forever. We never reach out. IF they reach out, then you are in a place where you will decide what is best FOR YOU. 🙌
I think she's starting to doubt breaking up a was good idea. She's emailed me twice, angry about some past drama we had. I didnt answer. I let go of the fear. My mindset is shifting and i know she's feeling that change in my energy. I'm feeling more confident and staying in NC is getting easier by the day and im accepting her and I are done for good. Be patient and stay strong, y'all. We win in the end if we stick to and trust the process.
I agree. I learned that the moment you stop caring about your ex, especially a narcissistic one, is the moment the breakup energy shifts. I was upset all morning because I finally realized my ex’s ex was in the picture too late but at some point today I just said fcuk it and told myself it was over. It stings at first but the sooner you accept the breakup, admit defeat, pray for your ex, and initiate the moving on process they’ll call. My personal record is 2 days. My ex dragged me through the mud recently and I finally left 2 days ago. I was destroyed Bro but I told myself this morning that I wasn’t going to mope around and stay in my feelings. A few hours later and now I’ve gotten a wellness text. All I date are narcs, my most recent ex included, and 2 days after going NC has got to be a personal world record. What is it? Must be my acceptance mentality. Never fails, as soon as I let go, they reach out. And they only reach out because it finally hits them that you love yourself more than them and also that you’re not coming back 😂😂😂
There’s no way to know until you hear from them again after NC. If we ever do. They’ve being so emotionally attached that they took us for granted. Be patient,stand ground by letting them know you don’t fear losing their breadcrumbs. We need to mean it coming from a respectful, positive mindset.That’s powerful. ❤🎉 Self respect is for us! Silence speaks loud ❤
"A crush is usually just a lack of information". ladies, collect your data on him which is so much easier now with social media and youll realize he is bad for you.
The more you chased and begged the more it could take time to the dumpers to come back. It could hurt, but stay focus on NC. It’s the best way to regain your value. Respect coach! Peace ✌️ 🔥
I have to look up this video to start from the very top of the fundamental series. My daughter saw me watching your video and she said, "i know him, he's your therapist". I almost broke down crying again. I have to explain that I need to watch your videos to help me cope with the loss that im feeling.
My situation has so many years together, so many layers and he went straight into a rebound, so I have been following you everyday! You have brought calmness, strategy, and such great insight and stopped my panicked behaviors. He is now reaching out to me daily. Thank you for sharing your passion.
Is the rebound over and if so, how long did it last, or is he reaching out while in the rebound. If so, just ignore him. My ex rebounded 26 days after breaking up after 3½ years, so I feel your pain.
@Cornelius1212 my gf went bk to a Trauma bond relationship to a Broke abusive baby who use to beat her and spend all her hard earned money he ghosted her about 3 yrs ago and would block her while with his new baby mama off and on and talk down on her so I had stepped up as a dad figure and helped her with everything but 3 months ago he got put out I'm assuming by the new baby mama and when he moved bk close by she became cold , quiet blank and distant with no holidays together this year,nothing no regards to how bad I was hurt and traumatized and now she ups and text me " WYD " I JUST WHATS UP? AND SHE STARTS TEXTING BK AND I DO FEEL A LITTLE BETTER BUT ITS LIKE WHEN I STOP CARING SO MUCH SHE UP AND TEXT OUT THE BLUE.IDK WHAT TO DO.ARE WE SUPPOSE TO STAY NO CONTACT AND HOW DO WE KNOW WHEN TO ENGAUGE THEM????
Same after 3 years together he came back after a month and a half but I was too hurt started blaming so he went away again .. hopefully he comes back again . I know now my mistakes. In NC for almost 3 weeks
@Danski93 your pretty, drop that loser.... I finally stopped caring about someone who ghosted me again a again and you deserve for someone turn their bk on u.Thats why u blame and u shouldn't be a doormat for no one.God loves u thats all that matters
It's been about 50 days of nc..at times it still seem hard but then I watch these videos and it put me back on track. Idk if he's ever going to teach out but I'm doing a good job working on myself. Keeping myself busy making new friends going to the gym and networking is what's getting me by and I really appy it ..THANK U SO MUCH!
The girl I dated will never miss me in the way I expect. She is a covert Narcissist and will likely get back in touch to get the supply that she’s missing from her new victims that she set up behind my back before discarding me. Keep this in mind. Not everyone is mentally stable and will do things for selfish reasons.
I was so messed up for 3 months after he left me. I started my healing journey and started accepting after getting ghosted with no explanation. I gave him the world of me expecting reciprocation and got nothing. He called back during that time and because I genuinely loved him, I acknowledged with hope like a child. Till one day he butt dialed me and I heard him speaking with another woman about his body parts and giving her gifts and talking to her like he spoke to me. 4 years I gave him. I just left crying and still dont look back. It is hard because I am the one who always take back and still processing. I wish this on no one and pray that we just choose wisely and avoid these situations again.
I overheard a conversation from my ex with another woman also, he thought he hung the phone up but he didn’t. I made sure he knew I heard him and he said you should have hung up. That did it for me, I started to get help and started self love……
@candice4007 how are you doing now? I will break it up with him on Friday because that's when he will be back from the field... I am so hurt. How did you do it? I also gave him 4 years... 😢
After a disastrous and abusive 19 year marriage that ended with him cheating with a “friend” of ours, and then a 1.5 year “thing” with a very dismissive avoidant whom I’ve had trouble letting go of but was addicted to because of his hot and cold behaviour I’m finally ready to just be by myself maybe for good. I just can’t imagine ever being attracted to anyone else. I am emotionally exhausted and my heart might not mend this time. But God is good so who knows.
Guys it works depending on the relationship! Trust the process! I have had my ex break up with me multiple times! I do this now we're in a great place! We took no contact and figured it out!
I'm hopeful, but this last month of our 2nd break up (her doing), I finally noticed her red flags I never acknowledged as well as my traumas that created my red flags and have come to the conclusion that I dont want her as she is. If change can be shown after leaving her alone after a few mistakes and chasing subconsciously, maybe we can try again but not without many many talks and making sure we'd be on the same side of the table. Same traumas from childhood, I want my family back but I want myself back first and foremost. To be the best me again
Its been over 2 months now. Damn I really do love her. But I started to improve my life in all aspects - job, healthiness, body etc. Its kinda sad to see that she is actually hurt by the situation and also confusing, since i would assume she should be over it since she parted ways. Sad that now I m finally becoming the person she needed me to be but now we arent anymore. I ll keep working on myself. And who knows. If i reach all my goals the next months (6 months +) having my first car which should be also a good one, reaching my body goals etc. I either will ask her out or I ll have fun with my life without her. All solutions sound good. U ll get there everyone. Just work on yourself!
It’s been 4 months for me now and 2 months almost no contact. I failed no contact a couple times but now I’ve been became a better person. Got fitter by going to the gym, got my drivers license, make more money, go to church every Sunday and been a better family person. The thing is she got me blocked on most things so she won’t see too much about me. I miss her tho I love her and feel like she gave up on me too soon but she a little scared to love and to get hurt. I don’t know how to deal with it sometimes cus I keep thinking maybe she is already over me and I’m still thinking bout her it’s all just some Bs and I hate this shit fr
I m in kinda the same situation. But I guess if its meant to be it will happen. But for now. Keep working on yourself my dude. This is how I do it - yes it feels weird that I guess she loves me - and I was at a state in my life in depression etc and i wasnt good enough for her. But the most notable thing is i wasnt good enough for my self. So now I ll get good enough for myself and I will be eventually good enough for her - or maybe for someone else - who knows. @@Ivs.97
I can only tell u one thing, it doesnt matter if shes over you or not. And it wont make u feel better. I thought the same and when I talked to her I noticed she was everything but over me. She said she cried a lot didnt feel good. When I posted a pic on insta she unfollowed me cause it was rough for her to see me. Now should I feel better that it might even be worse for her than for me? Maybe. But in all honesty it makes it maybe even worse. I feel bad that she is suffering. I consider myself the reason our relationship failed because I wasnt good enough (and thats not some weird saying, I hated myself and i just start to like myself by doing a lot for myself right now) - so i m not only the reason the relationship failed, but also the woman that I love suffers. I dont know bro. In the end it doesnt really matter. Work on yourself - and always continue. @@Ivs.97
@@HojaFPS I feel u she had the same with me. Kept distance cus every time we talked she was reminded of the stuff that happens and it hurts. Idk if we are meant for each other no one can come in our way. I’m just gonna let god do his work and be patient with everything. Time will tell everything eventually
@@lambeauzone stay strong bro . Maybe you don’t want her back . Maybe is your ego that wants her back . You have to focus on you and find who you really are to find what you really want . Keep working 💪🏾
Guys do you think my husband will come back?? I worry he's already talking to someone else and wont come back mind you when I do reach out he's mean. 😢
I doubt he misses me it’s been 6 months and not a word. It’s over. He passed up gold. I’m not saying I’m perfect but I gave the entire universe to him and his kids and it wasn’t good enough…
So true coach, once I dumped someone thinking the grass is greener another side but after few months approximately 5 -8 months i realised I was wrong. When I tried to get back together with my ex hoping she will come in relationship again but she rejected me 😅, she stopped picking my phone calls . And definitely that time the pain I felt was unbearable. Now the karma is back This time I got dumped 😂 for the first few months, it was unbearable. After some time, she started giving me breadcrumbs, I refused Now after 9 months, there is a energy shift in me. now I know it's time for her to feel the pain and anxiety. Moral: 1) Karma is real 2) dumper definitely cry (as i once dumped someone).
Thanks so much for the work you do! Def reached out and said he missed me and the connection he has with me is enormous and like no other and he wanted to see me. He confirmed that all of his feelings for me stand but I do still think he's entertaining other women/getting sexual needs met. We do not live in the same state. He moved to my state to be with me so quickly but it was honestly too hasty and we needed to walk it back since we are still both going through divorces. Still not back together or texting like we used to so I'm going back into no contact until the meeting up occurs.
I been studying break ups for a year now and your statement kind of stood out to me and please don't take this wrong, but learning the past year of my exes remarks online I have to ask are you trying to convince yourself by making this statement? Are you trying to convince others? Or are you truly happy about it? If you have healed and are truly happy then that's great! I am happy for you, but I have learned some people make statements like this because really they are still hurt, Hope I didn't offend you by this and I really truly hope you are happy because that's all that matters!!
@@ncfire51 I’m the type of person that I say what I mean and I mean what I say. I am on a healing journey. My ex is a narcissist and he would gaslight me. So when I said I don’t care. I mean it. I have my faith, family and my smile back. I’m good.
Started off long distance with a single dog mom. After 8 months she broke up cause my "self care struggles are a red flag" even though I am actively working on it. She says she "doesn't think we are done, but now isnt the right time" I told her I couldnt be friends and needed to move forward with my life. 45 days NC, and its super challenging.
I feel like this is going to be so much harder for me because it is a long distance relationship. We can't see each other or feel each other's vibe. It's been 5 weeks now since he said he was going to focus on real life. I haven't been in our messaging place in a month, so it shows I haven't even been looking at his last seen etc. I've not reached out in any way. I am working on myself. But I still cry every day, even though I'm trying to let go and say that it's over. That is difficult because I still want this.
I have 2 questions, anyone is free to answer because I appreciate them. 1: When Coach says they shouldn't be able to come in unpunished, what exactly do I do? 2: How do I make it seem like she's able to come back into my life, without saying she's welcome anytime or giving her reassurance? Thanks
@@blacademic We haven't kept in contact. Broke up 1 month ago, haven't spoke but we do see each other at school. The most I've gotten is that she's been looking at my social media and has liked a few of my posts.
Through the years I've read alot of books about dating rules, been to seminars, and lately watched plenty of dating coach videos. I want you to know, Coach Blac, your videos are full of the information I have been looking for - really making me assured and giving guidance I believed in and could do confidently. 2 thumbs up!
Listen listen what that man is saying is true . I cheated on my husband couple months ago I regretted, I pleaded ,I cried I begged instead he went and have an affair himself .I found out I became a whole mess . I almost kill myself . The réalisé this isn’t it I’ve got to let him go even it hurts , I did . Now guess who wants me back 😂😂😂😂😂😂 him We working on our relationship Thank God I had the courage to let him go even it was painful God is good . I will never cheat on him again Never Ive learned my lesson .
I truly love your insight...your videos are very helpful, this one in particular. I had a software business though the Y2K 'crisis'... To have our software certified as 'Y2K compliant ' , merely required signing a sworn statement to say that our software had been tested successfully with dates up to 2038 (which is the next failure date, due to SQL data types). No code review required... Big money was made by Auditing Firms sending out letters/emails and charging their clients for the service of 'Y2K audit/compliance'
@@blacademic thanks for taking the time to reply, your videos have helped me to move on through regaining my self respect by removing myself from the situation
Where have you been all my life....been.doing nc out of being spiteful but now with all the narrative that comes with you makes it pleasurable ❤thank you very much coach🎉
What if she got u blocked and you been working on your self and became a better person but she can’t see nothing you do? We are broken up for 4 months now and have been in no contact for 2 months. I don’t know how to feel I do really love her still
Then you continue to live your best life and enjoy the fruits of your labor for YOU. That's what no contact is really all about. It's not for her validation for the improvements you've made. It's for YOU.
Broke up on Sunday, told me to get out the house, I said alright cool. Her ex bf was always stalking her etc, once I ssid I will speak to him, she got very defensive he has a boy with his baby mama, not my girl, she was like I don't want his kid to be without a dad and suffer without one, I was like that's your choice and not your responsibility, met on Sunday night bc she left her keys in my car and I said come collect it made her travel 250 miles to come collect, started waving at me like nothing happened and said are you OK, literally kept it nonchalant and gave the keys and walked away back to my car. She hadn't blocked me on anything at all on socials, she views my story but I already went on other dates and posted them 🔥🔥... was only together for 3 months, ive been in no contact for 9 days straight now, i aint vieweing her stories at all.. any opinion on this
Its been two weeks limited contact, two months since bu, the new found freedom and self reliance is a relief! Feel calmer, although we have kids missing them is hard but your videos have helped, her friend did tell me shes not opposed to working it out in the future, really not sure how to take this though 😢
I’m going through the same thing brother 6 years together and 3 kids I miss my babies to bro I’m only 4 days into NC and we’ve been separated for 2 months she immediately jumped into a rebound a couple days after our separation I’m mad I just now found this channel 4 days ago lol because I was CHASING SO HARD but we got this bro
Same 9years an she left me we have a 6 yr old together 5 weeks since the BU and in 1 week no contact.. only msg regarding our son, i hope one day she give me that chance. It was me who didnt listen to what i need to change got addicted to video games smoking an drinking. Now ive been clean for 3 weeks an not playin games anymore working on my self to be a the best version of my self an show her how i can be.. fingers crossed for every one .. im heart broke an want her back but im giving her the time an space an who knws what happens. She did tell me she will talk to me in thr future just not right now. I miss her so much an even harder with our son when he mentions mum etc.. hope for the day she reaches out an contacts me an show her the me i used to be but better.
He broke up with me three weeks ago, because we were always fighting and he wont recognize his problems, but wont stop reaching out and texting calling etc. He doesnt have anyone else to talk to and his life is a mess. Im trying NC but it keeps getting interrupted. He is basically begging to stay friends and is mad when I say no, saying we work well together and are close, but is insistent that we cant be more than that. “Have love for you but not in love for you”. I dont know if he will ever be able to see me as more than a friend again, but hoping NC will at least get me over him. Only have texting/calling as our interaction, blocked on everything else, so idk how else Id be able to attract him again, but afraid seeing each other again would keep me in the friend zone.
He is manipulating you. In the most blunt way possible, he has another woman he’s physically with while he intends to keep you as a side-piece. Cut your losses and move on with your life. He isn’t worth the sadness.
You’ll never get him back unless you strictly enforce no contact. And if you guys are broken up, then why aren’t you talking to/seeing/dating other people. He’s probably talking to or pursuing other women but whatever it is, it isn’t serious yet if he still communicates with you. In the meantime he’s keeping tabs on you because he still has a motive. Quit allowing him to have his cake and eat it to unless you want to become his side chick!
I went no contact starting yesterday. I communicated with him multiple times that I wouldn’t be sticking around if he kept up his inappropriate social media behavior (spamming half nude women’s pictures with likes and flirty comments and sending direct messages to many) . He made it clear he wasn’t stopping and that I was “crazy” for requiring basic respect while being with me. Oh well, his loss. Now he can scroll and flirt 24/7 and not have to worry about me.
I met up with my ex last night. It was extremely awkward. He told me there's no feelings left and we need to move on. I'm giving him NC... he will be back, I'm sure of it 🙏
Today, I removed him from my followers, he keeps watching all my stories, and that was giving me false hopes. It is my birthday and he didn't say a word. Even if he tries to come back, why would I want him to? Is like you didn't kill me the first. Here, you have the power to do it now?
My ex and I have been broken up since the beginning of October. We had one month of true no contact. Ill admit that I broke it. We take turns reaching out and have spent time in person, and its clear we both have mixed feelings about the break up. I need some help with my current struggle though. Just tonight my ex and I discussed having a sit down and exploring what getting back together would have to look like to work so we could see if its even possible for it to provide for both of our needs. And we agreed to also spending more time together doing fun things and not talking about our relationship. But I suddenly have the sinking feeling that I have never truly given him the break up. And our reconciliations have always been far more thanks to me than him. He definitely has taken me from granted and I feel like he would again if we started a new relationship. (Ex might be fearful avoidant? Very hot and cold.) So, at this point, im not sure how to get out of this. Do i go no contact again without a word? Wait to see if he actually reaches out about one of those dates? Im just not sure how to turn this around without appearing hot and cold myself.
Been 6 months for me but she with someone else for that long even moved in with him within a month of introducing him to her family.they don’t like him at all but oh well. Still 6 months of no contact for me.
Its day 1 of no contact. He blocked me after i let him know i am moving on because he cant meet my needs and so i blocked him back in return. Lets see who's bluffing.
I was dumped end of November and chased for 2 weeks. Three weeks NC but I accidently liked an old post on one of their socials and I think they know. Have I given them a lot of power by doing so?
Hello Coach.. can you please make a video from dumpers side.. where they leave for genuine reason like disrespect, taken for granted, feeling unwanted. It would really help. When a person decides to leave for not being treated well, even though they are still in love
Even when they have the back burner TURNED rebound? Still messaging me (in an app). Why? He threw away our ten year relationship for that…go live your life with the choices you made-
@blacademic I have yes. I know is that a huge mistake ? I finally left 3 months ago. Gave him so many chances and he kept making empty promises. Wanted to get married this “last time” claims it’s always been me, nobody else but I couldn’t stay. I left him - he can’t be alone. He was very angry at first because I left him. Then slowly started to send “nicer” messages. Broken hearts 💔 and hearts etc he misses me and thinks about me and it makes him very sad. It’s so hard. But he is with back burner so why bothering with me?
Listen to this, I left him bc I felt neglected. He turned it around on me as if I had done something wrong. I started to chase & bargain the relationship like a fool for an entire month (recently)!!! I WOKE UP!!! NO CONTACT FOR ONLY 1.5 WEEKS NOW BUT HE’S CALLING AROUND TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT’S GOING ON WITH ME!! 😂🤦🏽♀️🤨🤯😱 BUDDY, KICK ROCK’S….YOU TOOK ME FOR GRANTED WHEN YOU HAD ME!!! ✌️🏽 I DON’T WANT HIM BACK NOW!! IT’S CALLED DIGNITY, SELF-LOVE & RESPECT!!! ❤️🥰😂 I KNOW MY WORTH!!! 💪🏽👊🏽
How would you describe the power dynamic in this sequence of events? 1. You and your ex start talking and thinking of getting back together in the future. 2. Then the dumpee says that they need a break because both the dumper and dumpee have too much going on in their lives and that they won't reach out. The dumpee leaves it in the dumper's hands to reach out if they want and say they will respect the dumper's original decision to be done with them. Does that change the dumpee to dumper and vice versa?
Been on this no contact for 2 weeks now and she’s been sending me bread crumbs. I changed my profile picture and she texted saying how nice I looked. Was gonna wait a few hours to respond but she called 10 minutes later. Spoke for a few and ended the conversation and back to no contact.
My dude of 5 yrs was arrogant, rude, downright nasty. I’ve been there for him. He said leave him TF ALONE so I did. I’ve been there for him in many ways. The following week he texted me abt his son and how his ex wants him back. Im hurt about the breakup but Im good now ..been less than 30 days. I didn’t deserve the disrespect!!
@@blacademic Yes, I did not reach out or break contact... She missed-called me once 3 months in, and I texted instead of calling back - and she said she "had a moment" and it was "probably a bad idea" and wished me well. So I replied I am doing well, hope she was too, and we ended conversation. Nothing else since. You're right, it's too long... Time to move on :)
@@sliceinhershould have just invited her to hang out… “probably a bad idea”, was her seeking confirmation from you that there was still an interest in getting together
@@blacademic when will be the next time you do a live video Coach? I'd like to send a super chat with more details. Even if the answer is still that I should move on
I’ve been begging my wife for the last 15 months to give me another chance, crying, pleading and doing all of this. Do you still think no contact might work. I do not want to divorce her.
Greetings Coach. Love your accent and culture. I'm new to the channel I constantly and consistently self educate with videos and other social media content and I am glad to have found yours and now added you to my educational tools. Here's my question. It has been about three or four years now since I walked away. And yes I did go completely no contact. It was a very toxic relationship. VERY TOXIC. I dealt with narcissistic behavior and bipolarism. On the very last day that I was in physical contact the person actually tried to physically damage me. And wanted to bring damage that he felt would last a lifetime. I know this because he mentioned it before of doing it to someone else. My question is, why on Earth would I have thoughts of this person after all of this time and what he did to me?
Was Sincere And Solid In My Marriage Discovered He STBX Husband Wasn't Told Me Had Options In Women So I Let Him Exercise Said Options Looking Forward To Divorce.
Seven months ago, I wanted to break up after a fight and he approved. He blocked me six months ago and when we meet he ignores me but I still can't get him out of my mind..
I have a question. I want to know why people who love you and saw their life with you would walked away, now everyone goes on about what your thoughts are comes to fruition now what happens if your thoughts were and still are positive about being in the relationship everyone wants and the break up came out of the blue what causes it to happen and then I get why so many people search TH-cam trying to find answers on how to get the loved one back and then comments are what you think comes out in your SP, No I just want answers as to why it happens in the first place when all you have is feel good feelings and emotions.
i dont think he will ever come back. he said he doesnt see a future with me, cares for me but no romantic love, didnt want to work on our marriage. 10 year relationship gone bc we both hurt each other and didnt communicate. he stonewalled me for so long. i kept trying to talk when he didnt want to. im moving back to my home country in 2 weeks. i hope he finds peace. me, as well.
Hey coach! Currently 3 weeks in NC with FA ex, after 2.5 week I woke up to a missed call. I did not call back or send a message, thought of this as a breadcrum. Haven't heard anything since, did I do the right thing?
Wouldn't this be to take the bate? Since they did not call again or send a message it was maybe just for validation and not to try to fix the relationship ..?
Here's a quick story about Y2K. I was in my final year of high school in 1999. I had a biology teacher who was a bit of a toolbox. He told us in November and December of 1999 that he was stocking up on water, canned food, and even power generators in his basement. And then in January 2000, we came back to class and literally nothing about society changed. 😂
I deleted my ex on all social media a week after the breakup and have been in no contact since (almost 2 months). I worry that the message I sent in removing her would discourage her from ever reaching out in the future, maybe out of fear that I'm angry or hoping that I would be the one to reach out since I chose to remove her. Thoughts?
Hey everyone. Idk if my story is relatable ,but I watch those videos. There was a girl at work. I was attracted to her. We started communicating and she was flirty and fall for it. Told me few times that probably not gonna work out,but I decided to try. She started sending me kisses came to my place,we did not slept together ,but the intimacy was there and suddenly told me we had smalldifferences which probably would prevent a good relationship. She is applying for a new job,has exams and told me that was her priority. I was pushy probably. However she told me everything between us was real. I went no contact now,but still think if I do no contact at all,or just move forward. Would appreciate your opinions. Thank you all and God bless you.
My boyfriend told me he wasn't sure what he wanted so I asked are we breaking up he said no but he's not sure... so I said okay thats the answer bye drive safe. Went no contact didn't post on social media at all. He was at my door at 11pm on day 3 begging for me back. I've been hurt to much to spend any energy chasing a man. I didn't stalk his social media. I just said to myself if that's his choice I'm good. Even though I was hurting and sad and wanted to write him a few times I did not. I'm glad I didn't. He thought I moved on thought I hated him my silence said so much more than my words ever could. No response is a response.
Couch… random question. What are your thoughts on the “7 year itch”? I’ve noticed in my research on how to fix my relationship a lot of couples end at 7 years. However even though I’m seeing that I still have hope because a lot of them got back together in the same year. Just wondering your thoughts.
What I’ve learned during this breakup is that it’s their loss!!! I gave them the world, they couldn’t see past the dirt. Time to keep working on me 💪
That’s it. Onwards and upwards mate
Can I date u
@@Jarred_Luke_LangeExcelsior ❤🎉
There's a lot of pain in this statement
@@Dirane670 the greatest pain and betrayal I’ve ever experienced in my life. 24hr turnaround from looking at houses and trying for a baby, to her going to a party, coming home the next day, giving the engagement ring back, and walking out the door to run away with her best friend that’s going through a divorce. Single girls make girls single, that’s for sure. Left me with the dogs, apartment termination fees, and everything else after 4 years. Absolutely the wildest, most infuriating thing I’ve ever experienced in my life. Just picking up the pieces. All I can do is give it all to God now and try to maintain my sanity😅
"Put all your energy into never reaching out."
This is critical.
Just move on. If they are not showing u any type of love. Or attention. But want sex , zMOVE onnn.
If you can’t respect me in my presence, then you deserve my absence. Period.
Maturity is when you don’t force people to choose you. And knowing you can’t change people.
Spot on. As hard as it is, you have to love a person in such a way that they feel free.
The right person will always choose you no matter what the circumstance.
@@OnderHassan @CatwalkPurz you guys saying some deep stuff there. 👍❤
Pure fizzacts
Perfectly said
YOU CANT FIGHT REAL LOVE!!! , YALL PLEASE STOP SITTING AROUND WAITING WEEKS AND MONTHS FOR PEOPLE…. IF THAT PERSON REALLY LOVED AND VALUE U YOU WONT GO A DAY WITHOUT HEARING FROM THEM!!!! …… ENJOY BEING SINGLE WHILE U HAVE NO DISTRACTION NOBODY DEPENDING ON YOU! GO WORK ON YOURSELVES LOVE YOURSELF STOP BEING SCARED TO BE SINGLE.
Well said amigo, well said
This makes me wanna cry, bc you’re right.
it's not that easy
I just woke up one day and blocked them everywhere. I’m so done with being treated like I was nothing, so I became nothing 🤷🏽♀️
😊 Good for you!!
You became strong, that is something! ❤
How are you feeling ? May you share with me
Interesting. I got blocked everywhere and I treated that girl better than any guy has before.
No social media at all
NC for 5 months and I will never break it neither take her back. Funny thing is I recall how I felt when I started it, was so down. With time passing by, I can clearly see she doesn’t deserve me. You can’t be good enough for wrong people. And in my opinion, the most important lesson I learnt using no contact is to never ever disrespect myself for any person on this planet. Cheers coach for helping ex-good person, but now even better and strong person.
Am happy you can see your worth now. We get lost sometimes in loving the wrong people
Good job, Stay strong king! I’m almost 11 months clean 🧼
That called being a warrior lion alpha you did a great job self respect
Coach Blac - No contact works 100% . He's become the chaser - thnx to your advice and I'm enjoying being the runner 🏃♀️ 😉 😄
For how long no contact?
Almost 6 months - it's a great feeling. Stick with it. It works , I promise. Good luck . Be strong 💪
@@greggreg9510 8:08 we have to be at a powerful place where we are done with them forever. We never reach out. IF they reach out, then you are in a place where you will decide what is best FOR YOU. 🙌
when did he first reach out to you?😊❤
Never break no contact even if it's 2 years..
4 years and counting
❤ Yes! Doing my best on this one 😊
mrnice7570 same 4years he reached out to meet up
@@_Diaryofwealthhe reached out after four years !!! Wow powerful
6 years they wrote a closure/ wanting to get back letter
I think she's starting to doubt breaking up a was good idea. She's emailed me twice, angry about some past drama we had. I didnt answer. I let go of the fear. My mindset is shifting and i know she's feeling that change in my energy. I'm feeling more confident and staying in NC is getting easier by the day and im accepting her and I are done for good. Be patient and stay strong, y'all. We win in the end if we stick to and trust the process.
I agree. I learned that the moment you stop caring about your ex, especially a narcissistic one, is the moment the breakup energy shifts. I was upset all morning because I finally realized my ex’s ex was in the picture too late but at some point today I just said fcuk it and told myself it was over.
It stings at first but the sooner you accept the breakup, admit defeat, pray for your ex, and initiate the moving on process they’ll call. My personal record is 2 days. My ex dragged me through the mud recently and I finally left 2 days ago. I was destroyed Bro but I told myself this morning that I wasn’t going to mope around and stay in my feelings. A few hours later and now I’ve gotten a wellness text.
All I date are narcs, my most recent ex included, and 2 days after going NC has got to be a personal world record. What is it? Must be my acceptance mentality. Never fails, as soon as I let go, they reach out. And they only reach out because it finally hits them that you love yourself more than them and also that you’re not coming back 😂😂😂
There’s no way to know until you hear from them again after NC. If we ever do. They’ve being so emotionally attached that they took us for granted. Be patient,stand ground by letting them know you don’t fear losing their breadcrumbs. We need to mean it coming from a respectful, positive mindset.That’s powerful.
❤🎉
Self respect is for us! Silence speaks loud ❤
"A crush is usually just a lack of information". ladies, collect your data on him which is so much easier now with social media and youll realize he is bad for you.
I realized that people who run away are probably afraid that you'll figure out that they're just boring
The more you chased and begged the more it could take time to the dumpers to come back. It could hurt, but stay focus on NC. It’s the best way to regain your value.
Respect coach! Peace ✌️ 🔥
I have to look up this video to start from the very top of the fundamental series. My daughter saw me watching your video and she said, "i know him, he's your therapist". I almost broke down crying again. I have to explain that I need to watch your videos to help me cope with the loss that im feeling.
I'm crying while watching this, I really do regret all of my decisions.
Oh you’re the dumper? Haha sucka!
What I learned bout this breakup never give my heart to anybody & tell my life story because people change 😢
My situation has so many years together, so many layers and he went straight into a rebound, so I have been following you everyday! You have brought calmness, strategy, and such great insight and stopped my panicked behaviors. He is now reaching out to me daily. Thank you for sharing your passion.
How long did you do NC?
Is the rebound over and if so, how long did it last, or is he reaching out while in the rebound. If so, just ignore him. My ex rebounded 26 days after breaking up after 3½ years, so I feel your pain.
@Cornelius1212 my gf went bk to a Trauma bond relationship to a Broke abusive baby who use to beat her and spend all her hard earned money he ghosted her about 3 yrs ago and would block her while with his new baby mama off and on and talk down on her so I had stepped up as a dad figure and helped her with everything but 3 months ago he got put out I'm assuming by the new baby mama and when he moved bk close by she became cold , quiet blank and distant with no holidays together this year,nothing no regards to how bad I was hurt and traumatized and now she ups and text me " WYD " I JUST WHATS UP? AND SHE STARTS TEXTING BK AND I DO FEEL A LITTLE BETTER BUT ITS LIKE WHEN I STOP CARING SO MUCH SHE UP AND TEXT OUT THE BLUE.IDK WHAT TO DO.ARE WE SUPPOSE TO STAY NO CONTACT AND HOW DO WE KNOW WHEN TO ENGAUGE THEM????
Same after 3 years together he came back after a month and a half but I was too hurt started blaming so he went away again .. hopefully he comes back again . I know now my mistakes. In NC for almost 3 weeks
@Danski93 your pretty, drop that loser....
I finally stopped caring about someone who ghosted me again a again and you deserve for someone turn their bk on u.Thats why u blame and u shouldn't be a doormat for no one.God loves u thats all that matters
Thank you for helping so many ppl with broken hearts . Self included 🖤
It's been about 50 days of nc..at times it still seem hard but then I watch these videos and it put me back on track. Idk if he's ever going to teach out but I'm doing a good job working on myself. Keeping myself busy making new friends going to the gym and networking is what's getting me by and I really appy it ..THANK U SO MUCH!
The girl I dated will never miss me in the way I expect. She is a covert Narcissist and will likely get back in touch to get the supply that she’s missing from her new victims that she set up behind my back before discarding me.
Keep this in mind. Not everyone is mentally stable and will do things for selfish reasons.
My ex got into a rebound relationship After our 7 years being together , after our separation seems like I never even knew her
Lined it up before discarding you for greener grass, move on to better
I was so messed up for 3 months after he left me. I started my healing journey and started accepting after getting ghosted with no explanation. I gave him the world of me expecting reciprocation and got nothing. He called back during that time and because I genuinely loved him, I acknowledged with hope like a child. Till one day he butt dialed me and I heard him speaking with another woman about his body parts and giving her gifts and talking to her like he spoke to me. 4 years I gave him. I just left crying and still dont look back. It is hard because I am the one who always take back and still processing. I wish this on no one and pray that we just choose wisely and avoid these situations again.
I overheard a conversation from my ex with another woman also, he thought he hung the phone up but he didn’t. I made sure he knew I heard him and he said you should have hung up. That did it for me, I started to get help and started self love……
@candice4007 how are you doing now? I will break it up with him on Friday because that's when he will be back from the field... I am so hurt. How did you do it? I also gave him 4 years... 😢
Young King. Thank you. You are so intelligent I appreciate you at 55 years old you really helped me
After a disastrous and abusive 19 year marriage that ended with him cheating with a “friend” of ours, and then a 1.5 year “thing” with a very dismissive avoidant whom I’ve had trouble letting go of but was addicted to because of his hot and cold behaviour I’m finally ready to just be by myself maybe for good. I just can’t imagine ever being attracted to anyone else. I am emotionally exhausted and my heart might not mend this time. But God is good so who knows.
Coach Blac Your videos are so helpful they had teach Me how to value My Self more and focus on working on My Self as well, so Thank You! 🙏
Guys it works depending on the relationship! Trust the process! I have had my ex break up with me multiple times! I do this now we're in a great place! We took no contact and figured it out!
How many times did yall break up? How long did it take to reconnect the last time?
I'm hopeful, but this last month of our 2nd break up (her doing), I finally noticed her red flags I never acknowledged as well as my traumas that created my red flags and have come to the conclusion that I dont want her as she is. If change can be shown after leaving her alone after a few mistakes and chasing subconsciously, maybe we can try again but not without many many talks and making sure we'd be on the same side of the table. Same traumas from childhood, I want my family back but I want myself back first and foremost. To be the best me again
Its been over 2 months now. Damn I really do love her. But I started to improve my life in all aspects - job, healthiness, body etc. Its kinda sad to see that she is actually hurt by the situation and also confusing, since i would assume she should be over it since she parted ways. Sad that now I m finally becoming the person she needed me to be but now we arent anymore.
I ll keep working on myself. And who knows. If i reach all my goals the next months (6 months +) having my first car which should be also a good one, reaching my body goals etc. I either will ask her out or I ll have fun with my life without her. All solutions sound good. U ll get there everyone. Just work on yourself!
It’s been 4 months for me now and 2 months almost no contact. I failed no contact a couple times but now I’ve been became a better person. Got fitter by going to the gym, got my drivers license, make more money, go to church every Sunday and been a better family person.
The thing is she got me blocked on most things so she won’t see too much about me. I miss her tho I love her and feel like she gave up on me too soon but she a little scared to love and to get hurt. I don’t know how to deal with it sometimes cus I keep thinking maybe she is already over me and I’m still thinking bout her it’s all just some Bs and I hate this shit fr
I m in kinda the same situation. But I guess if its meant to be it will happen. But for now. Keep working on yourself my dude. This is how I do it - yes it feels weird that I guess she loves me - and I was at a state in my life in depression etc and i wasnt good enough for her. But the most notable thing is i wasnt good enough for my self. So now I ll get good enough for myself and I will be eventually good enough for her - or maybe for someone else - who knows. @@Ivs.97
I can only tell u one thing, it doesnt matter if shes over you or not. And it wont make u feel better. I thought the same and when I talked to her I noticed she was everything but over me. She said she cried a lot didnt feel good. When I posted a pic on insta she unfollowed me cause it was rough for her to see me. Now should I feel better that it might even be worse for her than for me? Maybe. But in all honesty it makes it maybe even worse. I feel bad that she is suffering. I consider myself the reason our relationship failed because I wasnt good enough (and thats not some weird saying, I hated myself and i just start to like myself by doing a lot for myself right now) - so i m not only the reason the relationship failed, but also the woman that I love suffers. I dont know bro. In the end it doesnt really matter. Work on yourself - and always continue. @@Ivs.97
@@HojaFPS I feel u she had the same with me. Kept distance cus every time we talked she was reminded of the stuff that happens and it hurts. Idk if we are meant for each other no one can come in our way. I’m just gonna let god do his work and be patient with everything. Time will tell everything eventually
and keep in mind, getting better wont hurt. It will eventually show her how good u can be or someone else will see@@Ivs.97
My ex dumped the rebound after 2 months of nc. We’re back together now and work on things . It’s hard to forget though.
Take it slow… you get to choose if they deserve you
@@blacademic yeah I’m trying but there’s a lot of passion for both of us. I told her that she needs time and space to find her self first. We’ll see.
At least yours dumped the rebound mine has been with him for 4 months after getting with him 2 weeks after our break up. I’ve given up hope
@@lambeauzone stay strong bro . Maybe you don’t want her back . Maybe is your ego that wants her back . You have to focus on you and find who you really are to find what you really want . Keep working 💪🏾
Guys do you think my husband will come back?? I worry he's already talking to someone else and wont come back mind you when I do reach out he's mean. 😢
I doubt he misses me it’s been 6 months and not a word. It’s over. He passed up gold. I’m not saying I’m perfect but I gave the entire universe to him and his kids and it wasn’t good enough…
You are getting me through a very rough time!❤❤❤
Stay strong! I’m going thru the same but I finally see light at the end of the tunnel
Stay Strong. It's hard for me also.
Thank you brother. You have an awesome, calming, caring spirit. I appreciate what you do for us. Thank you
So true coach, once I dumped someone thinking the grass is greener another side but after few months approximately 5 -8 months i realised I was wrong.
When I tried to get back together with my ex hoping she will come in relationship again but she rejected me 😅, she stopped picking my phone calls .
And definitely that time the pain I felt was unbearable.
Now the karma is back
This time I got dumped 😂
for the first few months, it was unbearable.
After some time, she started giving me breadcrumbs, I refused
Now after 9 months, there is a energy shift in me. now I know it's time for her to feel the pain and anxiety.
Moral:
1) Karma is real
2) dumper definitely cry (as i once dumped someone).
Love the channel binge watching you constantly
Thanks for watching! 🙏
Thanks so much for the work you do! Def reached out and said he missed me and the connection he has with me is enormous and like no other and he wanted to see me. He confirmed that all of his feelings for me stand but I do still think he's entertaining other women/getting sexual needs met. We do not live in the same state. He moved to my state to be with me so quickly but it was honestly too hasty and we needed to walk it back since we are still both going through divorces. Still not back together or texting like we used to so I'm going back into no contact until the meeting up occurs.
I don’t care what ex is doing. I broke up with him. I’m glad he’s gone. My life is less stressful now.
I been studying break ups for a year now and your statement kind of stood out to me and please don't take this wrong, but learning the past year of my exes remarks online I have to ask are you trying to convince yourself by making this statement? Are you trying to convince others? Or are you truly happy about it? If you have healed and are truly happy then that's great! I am happy for you, but I have learned some people make statements like this because really they are still hurt, Hope I didn't offend you by this and I really truly hope you are happy because that's all that matters!!
@@ncfire51 I’m the type of person that I say what I mean and I mean what I say. I am on a healing journey. My ex is a narcissist and he would gaslight me. So when I said I don’t care. I mean it. I have my faith, family and my smile back. I’m good.
@@mzsharon19 Then that's great!! I am happy for you!! Good job!!
My brother from Nigeria well done for put together all these videos. Salute . Keep up the great work
Coach, thank you. This is going to be an exciting series. Can’t wait to watch. Hope you’re doing well.
Started off long distance with a single dog mom. After 8 months she broke up cause my "self care struggles are a red flag" even though I am actively working on it. She says she "doesn't think we are done, but now isnt the right time" I told her I couldnt be friends and needed to move forward with my life. 45 days NC, and its super challenging.
No worries. They never miss the water until the well runs dry.
Why can't I stop loving her. ? I'm taking your lead. Pouring my energy into me.
I feel like this is going to be so much harder for me because it is a long distance relationship. We can't see each other or feel each other's vibe. It's been 5 weeks now since he said he was going to focus on real life. I haven't been in our messaging place in a month, so it shows I haven't even been looking at his last seen etc. I've not reached out in any way. I am working on myself. But I still cry every day, even though I'm trying to let go and say that it's over. That is difficult because I still want this.
I have 2 questions, anyone is free to answer because I appreciate them.
1: When Coach says they shouldn't be able to come in unpunished, what exactly do I do?
2: How do I make it seem like she's able to come back into my life, without saying she's welcome anytime or giving her reassurance?
Thanks
After dumping you, what has she done to suggest she wants to be in your life?
@@blacademic We haven't kept in contact. Broke up 1 month ago, haven't spoke but we do see each other at school.
The most I've gotten is that she's been looking at my social media and has liked a few of my posts.
Through the years I've read alot of books about dating rules, been to seminars, and lately watched plenty of dating coach videos. I want you to know, Coach Blac, your videos are full of the information I have been looking for - really making me assured and giving guidance I believed in and could do confidently. 2 thumbs up!
Listen listen what that man is saying is true . I cheated on my husband couple months ago I regretted, I pleaded ,I cried I begged instead he went and have an affair himself .I found out I became a whole mess . I almost kill myself . The réalisé this isn’t it I’ve got to let him go even it hurts , I did . Now guess who wants me back 😂😂😂😂😂😂 him
We working on our relationship
Thank God I had the courage to let him go even it was painful
God is good .
I will never cheat on him again
Never
Ive learned my lesson .
Good for you ❤
Shame on you
I truly love your insight...your videos are very helpful, this one in particular.
I had a software business though the Y2K 'crisis'...
To have our software certified as 'Y2K compliant ' , merely required signing a sworn statement to say that our software had been tested successfully with dates up to 2038 (which is the next failure date, due to SQL data types).
No code review required...
Big money was made by Auditing Firms sending out letters/emails and charging their clients for the service of 'Y2K audit/compliance'
Haha that’s so funny, thanks for sharing that nugget. No surprise that all the negativity and fear created these money making scenarios for some
@@blacademic thanks for taking the time to reply, your videos have helped me to move on through regaining my self respect by removing myself from the situation
Coming from a small town white boy in Canada, I love your blacademic swagger. Great stuff
Her loss, she left me and kicked me out. I got my raise to exec chef and got a house a week later. God works mysteriously.
never follow your shadow. let your shadow follow behind you. let the dumper be your shadow and run to your success!!!
Where have you been all my life....been.doing nc out of being spiteful but now with all the narrative that comes with you makes it pleasurable ❤thank you very much coach🎉
What if she got u blocked and you been working on your self and became a better person but she can’t see nothing you do?
We are broken up for 4 months now and have been in no contact for 2 months. I don’t know how to feel I do really love her still
Then you continue to live your best life and enjoy the fruits of your labor for YOU. That's what no contact is really all about. It's not for her validation for the improvements you've made. It's for YOU.
My dismissive avoidant came bk after 4 months.He said he started to regret the break up after 3 months.
Broke up on Sunday, told me to get out the house, I said alright cool. Her ex bf was always stalking her etc, once I ssid I will speak to him, she got very defensive he has a boy with his baby mama, not my girl, she was like I don't want his kid to be without a dad and suffer without one, I was like that's your choice and not your responsibility, met on Sunday night bc she left her keys in my car and I said come collect it made her travel 250 miles to come collect, started waving at me like nothing happened and said are you OK, literally kept it nonchalant and gave the keys and walked away back to my car. She hadn't blocked me on anything at all on socials, she views my story but I already went on other dates and posted them 🔥🔥... was only together for 3 months, ive been in no contact for 9 days straight now, i aint vieweing her stories at all.. any opinion on this
Thank you so much for your Videos! 🙏🏼 Greetings from Germany!
Coach Blac…I really love the Emotional Intelligence piece and Sub Conscious mind…if we can master this, we are halfway there…!!!
The last part was profound 👏
Its been two weeks limited contact, two months since bu, the new found freedom and self reliance is a relief! Feel calmer, although we have kids missing them is hard but your videos have helped, her friend did tell me shes not opposed to working it out in the future, really not sure how to take this though 😢
I’m going through the same thing brother 6 years together and 3 kids I miss my babies to bro I’m only 4 days into NC and we’ve been separated for 2 months she immediately jumped into a rebound a couple days after our separation I’m mad I just now found this channel 4 days ago lol because I was CHASING SO HARD but we got this bro
Same 9years an she left me we have a 6 yr old together 5 weeks since the BU and in 1 week no contact.. only msg regarding our son, i hope one day she give me that chance. It was me who didnt listen to what i need to change got addicted to video games smoking an drinking. Now ive been clean for 3 weeks an not playin games anymore working on my self to be a the best version of my self an show her how i can be.. fingers crossed for every one .. im heart broke an want her back but im giving her the time an space an who knws what happens. She did tell me she will talk to me in thr future just not right now. I miss her so much an even harder with our son when he mentions mum etc.. hope for the day she reaches out an contacts me an show her the me i used to be but better.
Shop around!
- Momma
He broke up with me three weeks ago, because we were always fighting and he wont recognize his problems, but wont stop reaching out and texting calling etc. He doesnt have anyone else to talk to and his life is a mess. Im trying NC but it keeps getting interrupted. He is basically begging to stay friends and is mad when I say no, saying we work well together and are close, but is insistent that we cant be more than that. “Have love for you but not in love for you”. I dont know if he will ever be able to see me as more than a friend again, but hoping NC will at least get me over him. Only have texting/calling as our interaction, blocked on everything else, so idk how else Id be able to attract him again, but afraid seeing each other again would keep me in the friend zone.
That is so emotionally abusive. Protect your mental health. He does not sound like a valuable man who you can respect and admire.
He is manipulating you. In the most blunt way possible, he has another woman he’s physically with while he intends to keep you as a side-piece. Cut your losses and move on with your life. He isn’t worth the sadness.
You’ll never get him back unless you strictly enforce no contact. And if you guys are broken up, then why aren’t you talking to/seeing/dating other people. He’s probably talking to or pursuing other women but whatever it is, it isn’t serious yet if he still communicates with you. In the meantime he’s keeping tabs on you because he still has a motive. Quit allowing him to have his cake and eat it to unless you want to become his side chick!
I went no contact starting yesterday. I communicated with him multiple times that I wouldn’t be sticking around if he kept up his inappropriate social media behavior (spamming half nude women’s pictures with likes and flirty comments and sending direct messages to many) . He made it clear he wasn’t stopping and that I was “crazy” for requiring basic respect while being with me. Oh well, his loss. Now he can scroll and flirt 24/7 and not have to worry about me.
I met up with my ex last night. It was extremely awkward. He told me there's no feelings left and we need to move on. I'm giving him NC... he will be back, I'm sure of it 🙏
Fuck that dude. Sup?
@blacademic Hey coach, can you please let me know when your next live Q&A will be? I live in Europe so I'll have to set the alarm😅
Today, I removed him from my followers, he keeps watching all my stories, and that was giving me false hopes. It is my birthday and he didn't say a word. Even if he tries to come back, why would I want him to? Is like you didn't kill me the first. Here, you have the power to do it now?
My ex and I have been broken up since the beginning of October. We had one month of true no contact. Ill admit that I broke it. We take turns reaching out and have spent time in person, and its clear we both have mixed feelings about the break up.
I need some help with my current struggle though. Just tonight my ex and I discussed having a sit down and exploring what getting back together would have to look like to work so we could see if its even possible for it to provide for both of our needs. And we agreed to also spending more time together doing fun things and not talking about our relationship. But I suddenly have the sinking feeling that I have never truly given him the break up. And our reconciliations have always been far more thanks to me than him. He definitely has taken me from granted and I feel like he would again if we started a new relationship. (Ex might be fearful avoidant? Very hot and cold.)
So, at this point, im not sure how to get out of this. Do i go no contact again without a word? Wait to see if he actually reaches out about one of those dates? Im just not sure how to turn this around without appearing hot and cold myself.
It’s been 4 months and she never reached out. We were together for nearly 6 years.
Been 6 months for me but she with someone else for that long even moved in with him within a month of introducing him to her family.they don’t like him at all but oh well. Still 6 months of no contact for me.
Why will he miss me, when he has just entered a new relationship? It is only I who remains missing him, anticipating his return. How foolish I am...
hey coach! would it be possible to put ur vids into a giant playlist so we can listen to you in our sleep? thatd be awesome! greetings from germany!
Do a video on how to get your married side chick back.
😮😂
Accept the fact bro. Married 😢is over ok.
Its day 1 of no contact. He blocked me after i let him know i am moving on because he cant meet my needs and so i blocked him back in return. Lets see who's bluffing.
I was dumped end of November and chased for 2 weeks. Three weeks NC but I accidently liked an old post on one of their socials and I think they know. Have I given them a lot of power by doing so?
5 months later he's reaching out to me longest we haven't spoken
Hello Coach.. can you please make a video from dumpers side.. where they leave for genuine reason like disrespect, taken for granted, feeling unwanted. It would really help. When a person decides to leave for not being treated well, even though they are still in love
I left him because he cheated on me
Even when they have the back burner TURNED rebound? Still messaging me (in an app). Why? He threw away our ten year relationship for that…go live your life with the choices you made-
Are you still communicating with him in the app?
@blacademic
I have yes. I know is that a huge mistake ? I finally left 3 months ago. Gave him so many chances and he kept making empty promises. Wanted to get married this “last time” claims it’s always been me, nobody else but I couldn’t stay. I left him - he can’t be alone.
He was very angry at first because I left him. Then slowly started to send “nicer” messages.
Broken hearts 💔 and hearts etc he misses me and thinks about me and it makes him very sad.
It’s so hard. But he is with back burner so why bothering with me?
Please follow up I’m so lost. Thank you !!
I did no contact because i was severely disrespected….
If they don't care now, u have made it easy for them to dump u. So be prepared to move on.
FACTZ it seems it hits them like a ton of bricks...like a slow build up
💯
HEY COACH HOW MUCH DOES YOUR WORK APPLY TO A PERSON YOU ONLY DATED FOR A COUPLE MONTHS?
Listen to this, I left him bc I felt neglected. He turned it around on me as if I had done something wrong. I started to chase & bargain the relationship like a fool for an entire month (recently)!!! I WOKE UP!!! NO CONTACT FOR ONLY 1.5 WEEKS NOW BUT HE’S CALLING AROUND TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT’S GOING ON WITH ME!! 😂🤦🏽♀️🤨🤯😱 BUDDY, KICK ROCK’S….YOU TOOK ME FOR GRANTED WHEN YOU HAD ME!!! ✌️🏽 I DON’T WANT HIM BACK NOW!! IT’S CALLED DIGNITY, SELF-LOVE & RESPECT!!! ❤️🥰😂 I KNOW MY WORTH!!! 💪🏽👊🏽
I loved the y2k story it reminded me of my uncle he was preparing everything for year 2000 he passed in 2018 😢
Interesting theory. Never heard of this!
How would you describe the power dynamic in this sequence of events? 1. You and your ex start talking and thinking of getting back together in the future. 2. Then the dumpee says that they need a break because both the dumper and dumpee have too much going on in their lives and that they won't reach out. The dumpee leaves it in the dumper's hands to reach out if they want and say they will respect the dumper's original decision to be done with them. Does that change the dumpee to dumper and vice versa?
Been on this no contact for 2 weeks now and she’s been sending me bread crumbs. I changed my profile picture and she texted saying how nice I looked. Was gonna wait a few hours to respond but she called 10 minutes later. Spoke for a few and ended the conversation and back to no contact.
My dude of 5 yrs was arrogant, rude, downright nasty. I’ve been there for him. He said leave him TF ALONE so I did. I’ve been there for him in many ways. The following week he texted me abt his son and how his ex wants him back. Im hurt about the breakup but Im good now ..been less than 30 days. I didn’t deserve the disrespect!!
I remember Y2K. Everyone thought planes would fall out of the sky and all the internet would stop, etc.
Thanks Coach. Is 7 months too long? Should I unfollow on social media?
If you have actually been perfect with no contact… 7 months is too long to wait. Let them go. Do not unfollow just to get a reaction
@@blacademic Yes, I did not reach out or break contact... She missed-called me once 3 months in, and I texted instead of calling back - and she said she "had a moment" and it was "probably a bad idea" and wished me well. So I replied I am doing well, hope she was too, and we ended conversation. Nothing else since. You're right, it's too long... Time to move on :)
@@sliceinhershould have just invited her to hang out… “probably a bad idea”, was her seeking confirmation from you that there was still an interest in getting together
@@blacademic when will be the next time you do a live video Coach? I'd like to send a super chat with more details. Even if the answer is still that I should move on
What if you have children with them? Can't really go no contact
I’ve been begging my wife for the last 15 months to give me another chance, crying, pleading and doing all of this. Do you still think no contact might work. I do not want to divorce her.
Greetings Coach. Love your accent and culture.
I'm new to the channel I constantly and consistently self educate with videos and other social media content and I am glad to have found yours and now added you to my educational tools.
Here's my question. It has been about three or four years now since I walked away. And yes I did go completely no contact. It was a very toxic relationship. VERY TOXIC. I dealt with narcissistic behavior and bipolarism.
On the very last day that I was in physical contact the person actually tried to physically damage me. And wanted to bring damage that he felt would last a lifetime. I know this because he mentioned it before of doing it to someone else.
My question is, why on Earth would I have thoughts of this person after all of this time and what he did to me?
Was Sincere And Solid In My Marriage Discovered He STBX Husband Wasn't Told Me Had Options In Women So I Let Him Exercise Said Options Looking Forward To Divorce.
Hey coach, what is your opinion on breaking the nc after 3 months?
I'm at 3 months now too. Hoped they'd reach out at christmas but nope ☹️
Seven months ago, I wanted to break up after a fight and he approved. He blocked me six months ago and when we meet he ignores me but I still can't get him out of my mind..
That means you the dumper then and he the dumpeee
I have a question. I want to know why people who love you and saw their life with you would walked away, now everyone goes on about what your thoughts are comes to fruition now what happens if your thoughts were and still are positive about being in the relationship everyone wants and the break up came out of the blue what causes it to happen and then I get why so many people search TH-cam trying to find answers on how to get the loved one back and then comments are what you think comes out in your SP, No I just want answers as to why it happens in the first place when all you have is feel good feelings and emotions.
Mann i swear i have the most weirdest/ most dumbest situation ever.
i dont think he will ever come back. he said he doesnt see a future with me, cares for me but no romantic love, didnt want to work on our marriage. 10 year relationship gone bc we both hurt each other and didnt communicate. he stonewalled me for so long. i kept trying to talk when he didnt want to. im moving back to my home country in 2 weeks. i hope he finds peace. me, as well.
Hey coach! Currently 3 weeks in NC with FA ex, after 2.5 week I woke up to a missed call. I did not call back or send a message, thought of this as a breadcrum. Haven't heard anything since, did I do the right thing?
You never know unless you test the waters but I’ll try to be neutral with a text message and see what’s up.
Wouldn't this be to take the bate? Since they did not call again or send a message it was maybe just for validation and not to try to fix the relationship ..?
Here's a quick story about Y2K. I was in my final year of high school in 1999. I had a biology teacher who was a bit of a toolbox. He told us in November and December of 1999 that he was stocking up on water, canned food, and even power generators in his basement. And then in January 2000, we came back to class and literally nothing about society changed. 😂
I deleted my ex on all social media a week after the breakup and have been in no contact since (almost 2 months). I worry that the message I sent in removing her would discourage her from ever reaching out in the future, maybe out of fear that I'm angry or hoping that I would be the one to reach out since I chose to remove her. Thoughts?
Hey everyone. Idk if my story is relatable ,but I watch those videos.
There was a girl at work. I was attracted to her. We started communicating and she was flirty and fall for it. Told me few times that probably not gonna work out,but I decided to try. She started sending me kisses came to my place,we did not slept together ,but the intimacy was there and suddenly told me we had smalldifferences which probably would prevent a good relationship. She is applying for a new job,has exams and told me that was her priority. I was pushy probably. However she told me everything between us was real. I went no contact now,but still think if I do no contact at all,or just move forward.
Would appreciate your opinions.
Thank you all and God bless you.
What if they started dating a downgraded rebound? What to expect?
My boyfriend told me he wasn't sure what he wanted so I asked are we breaking up he said no but he's not sure... so I said okay thats the answer bye drive safe. Went no contact didn't post on social media at all. He was at my door at 11pm on day 3 begging for me back. I've been hurt to much to spend any energy chasing a man. I didn't stalk his social media. I just said to myself if that's his choice I'm good. Even though I was hurting and sad and wanted to write him a few times I did not. I'm glad I didn't. He thought I moved on thought I hated him my silence said so much more than my words ever could. No response is a response.
Hello Coach Blac, in your experience, does your ex miss you much after dumping you if she's married and also has narcissistic personality traits?
Couch… random question. What are your thoughts on the “7 year itch”? I’ve noticed in my research on how to fix my relationship a lot of couples end at 7 years. However even though I’m seeing that I still have hope because a lot of them got back together in the same year. Just wondering your thoughts.