Tips For Letting Go of Anger And Resentment, From Tony Robbins
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 ส.ค. 2024
- Tony Robbins, peak performance strategist, talks about strategies to avoid holding a grudge and learning to let go. Mondays With Marlo on MarloThomas.com
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It's true, holding onto resentment only hurts the holder. Trust me when I say, the one who wronged you doesn't really care one way or the other. Let it go for yourself.
The person who wronged us will self sabotage themselves unless they already have, knowing or not knowing it? Great comment.
Thank you, Martin
I struggled so much to forgive myself. It wasn't until recently when I realized a deeper truth:
Forgiving is letting go of the past so that you can live fully in the present. Forgiving means to heal. Forgiving means to reset your emotional well being by getting rid of all that toxic energy (resentment, hate, grudge...).
To not forgive is to be stuck in an emotional block that won't let the good stuff in and the bad stuff out.
Peace be with you.
Thank you your words has helped me immensely
👌👌👌👌👌👌👍👍👍👍👍
Very good point, forgive yourself. Maybe you think you're mad at them but maybe its really you, you are mad at. For taking it and maybe not doing anything or enough about it at the time.
No, not really angry with myself. I have been doing extensive work on letting go of the pain for a year now. Thank you for your kind intentions.
Or angry and frustrated because you didn't know how to.
You spoke my truth
Actually, yes
Yep like leaving a loveless marriage years ago but it was easier to do nothing. And then giving him ample time to go find someone else. Very valid point!
Being angry and resentful after a relationship ends is normal. I was angry and hurt too for what my ex did to me, and then to see her so "happy" with her new lover was the worst. I had to completely let it go and realize she wasn't for me. I know she didn't have any sleepless nights over the break up, that was obvious, but life goes on and we live and hopefully learn. Thank you Tony!!
Once you're able to forgive yourself, which is what's most important, it becomes extremely easy to forgive the other person who hurt you. For whatever reason you attracted that person who pissed you off so much at the time, it may have just been necessary for your growth so you could go on and work on yourself to be in a position to meet the right person, your Romantic Soulmate. I'm speaking from experience. So no, I don't hold grudges against anyone from My past, although I would never speak to them ever again or allow them back into My world. My world is actually completely different because I'm different Now, so I would never attract those types of guys now anyways.
I was a teenager back then, Chastity. Life is actually good for me now but when I wrote this I was really curious about what exactly motivated him at the time. He came from a screwed-up family and, if what they had done to him was done to me, I know I would be a very screwed-up person. I hope that you are doing well and are healthy in this crazy time!
There's no point in getting angry at someone, everybody has it own reason for certain reaction or behavior at one point in time...every relationship or activity is a matter of opinion and understanding ♥️
Thank you, Sanusi, I hope you are well
The only thing that has helped me is to know that I can't control anyone but myself. I also know I can't control the past because it is a done deal. My problem is I get caught up in the memories that make me angry. So then I have to visualize something that makes me happy like eating an ice cream cone at Dairy Queen. Hey, it works and my mind soon moves on to what I was doing before I got caught up in those bad experiences. Just for those few moments when I allow myself to not be connected to those experiences I feel very free, light and happy. The challenge is to stop thinking about it. I think about it because I am trying to make sense of it.
I love your response, especially the last sentence.
i think about it because i am trying to make sense of it. yes. thanks for putting that into words
Your comments resonated with me too. It’s comforting to know I’m not the only person who has these same experiences sometimes. I know logically that others have similar experiences but sometimes it just feels like there’s something wrong with me.
Angela, after I divorced Russell I had going through therapy and thought that I had fully dealt with the situation. 17 years later I remarried and, though we divorced over different life needs, he is a good man and I would never say anything against him and I am thankful for having had him in my life. What was weird, was more than 20 years after the abuse, my best friend since we were both 21, casually said one day, you know if you had told G, meaning my second husband, to beat Russell up he would have. When he said it it seems so funny to me because all that had been over for so long and what would be the point plus I don't want to be involved in violence. However, I found myself continuing to think of what my friend said. So I called my second husband and asked him if that was true and he was immediately triggered by the memory of what I had told him. He let me know that he feels that would be the right consequence and that he would be more than happy to do it. I have to admit that made me feel good but I have no desire for him to do that. I just felt good to be supported. But, in my forties at the time, I realized I still had issues with first husband end that sometime when I am no longer as busy and invested with my life at that time, I was going to have to finish clearing that Ed energy. At 68, I got a cancer diagnosis and, as part of the medical team, was offered wonderful adjunct therapy from an art therapist who also does EMDR. I've been working on clearing this for a year now and, I am doing really well. I am happy with my life and the choices I made. If you work at this way, adversity can be transformed into gifts. I have wonderful friends and family and I know I am very lucky. I hope the same for you and everyone, including all the people in my past.
@@dervisasabic4129 Thank you and may you have much love and fortune in your future, Dervisa!
Forgive yourself for getting caught up in this, its time to move on.
Thank you, g0neplatinum.
go f yourself
That's like saying Let It Go which means drop it. Is that what you would say that Harvey Weinstein's victims?
Wow, succinct, clear, and super helpful. I especially loved the Mandela quote:
"Holding on to anger and resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die."
At times, it's hard to let go of the anger and forgive. We are all humans I know, but it's tougher than it seems. Will do my best definitely and forgive myself of the negative thoughts first then the people who bothered.
Ahmed, I can tell that you will definitely get there. It's a journey, I can tell you, but worth it
I don't think he meant to say superiority. When he says to be better, he means to be bigger, more mature. If I could have dinner with someone in the world for an hour, I think it would be Tony Robbins. He always make so much sense to me.
I get the feeling, I would feel rushed........lol lol
Every time I see this video, I think about an ex of mine. Thankfully Mr. Robbins cleared it all up. It finally dawned on me that it may/may not be my fault after all. But one thing that I will concur with Tony on; The folly of being caught up in all the lies, nonsense, and drama. I've gone through many changes since then, and I'm ready to move on to better things in life.
That said, we have both moved on. And I vowed to myself (and to God) that I will never again put myself through this ringer. It ain't worth it!
The stories that I could tell, too!
People are people.....and it's true....there are 2 sides....just notice how 4 diff. people for example....will respond 4 diff. ways to one thing....That shows that we ALL see things differently...It's important to own our part, and understand that the other person too, somehow contributed to the chaos....THE BOTTOM line is to realize you both are responsible for the demise of the relationship....there is nothing wrong with that...be friends, or not, and move forward as an ADULT....
And look into a book The Emotion Code. Sometimes things actually need to be released from our energy and this is how.
Yes, Alisha, I am familiar with the emotion code and thank you for suggesting it. I hope you are doing well, as well!
Thank you guys. Been dealing with anger and sadness these past few days. It’s really nice to hear solid advice from someone who seems to genuinely care. This made me feel a lot better. I like the analogy that resentment is like drinking poison and hoping your enemy dies.
I am the one that ruined great friendships because of my personal troubles and when they finally turned away from me I resented them for it and I’m angry because I messed things up but I’m also angry that they let me go! Now instead of repairing those friendships I don’t want to see or talk to them even though it was my fault. 🤷🏼♂️🤦🏻♂️ I have text them and apologized and thanked them for everything though
did anybody else hear her snort?? 0:32
yup! LOL!
adorable lol
We all snort!😀😀😀
I heard it as I read ur comment LOL
I think we need to forgive both ourselves and others.
I'm dealing with resentment towards money and people who have money.. I was taught as a child to hate money. It is still affecting me today. To many limiting beliefs around money. Clearing these beliefs has been a daily challenge. Thanks for the video
He's right. I've always downed myself when I mess up. I have forgive myself.
Don’t down yourself. Work instead on building yourself up!
It's very natural to be angry or resent when somebody hurts you. That's make us a HUMAN. Human have all these emotions, whether good or bad emotion. If when somebody hurts you, you didn't feel angry at all, then you are just a dead living thing, with no feeling/emotion.
@Alyson Max I agree with You!
What about rapists, murderers, are they doing the best they can! PEOPLE ALWAYS CONFUSE FORGIVENESS WITH LET GO! Forgiveness is for truly repentant souls not for every Tom Dick and Harry! For UNREPENTANT INSENSITIVE Individuals you need to FORGIVE YOUR OWN SELF NOT THEM and LET GOD DECIDE THEIR FATE! (There is nothing wrong in feeling anger resentment why pretend and forcefully say oh let us forgive them we are not zombies; most of the people give sheep advice and only sheep take such advice YES IT IS ALRIGHT TO LET GO EMOTIONS AFTER A WHILE FOR YOU ARE MORE PRECIOUS THAN THOSE WHO WRONGED YOU)
sooo... sooo... sooo... sooo.. fuking true... why am i hurting myself when it is not hurting them... but me... its the next step, that i feel is the scary one...
Just what I needed. Thank you!
This is an issue that I’ve struggled with for about 5 years. I’m still finding a way to let go of my resentment.
I understand
Its been 2 years now since u commented. How are u doing?
tin laa I’m doing a lot better even though I’ve been going through ups and downs. I still deal with anger and resentment but I don’t allow it to control like I used to. It was worse in the past. I am a lot better but it’s tough sometimes. But thanks for asking.
Short and right to the point. Great advice, thanks!
what do you when you feel like you're the only person giving to your relationship so you resent you're partner
I might have to whatch this for a thousand times to start understand and accept!
Please like this comment so people know. Tony is not correct here.
When someone rapes you, it's not two to tango.
When someone tries to steal money from you, it's not because they're insecure.
Don't deny yourself being a victim when you have indeed been victimized.
Does this mean that from that point on words you use the story as an excuse to have a miserable life? No. That's PLAYING the victim. There's a difference.
When the lion hunts the antelop, ones the predator ones the prey. Not a two way streak. If someone is abusing you, you are being victimized.
Yes there is hidden benefited of being a victim. And if you want to take control you can leave the relationship as far as many other things. But don't kid yourself. Abuse isn't a two way streak. Physical AND emotional
Love the last words in this video...
drinking poison and expecting enemy to die. excellent analogy!
yes, i need to forgive myself for getting caught up in being enraged at low lifes!
i was with my ex for 5 almost 6 yrs and i just found out like a week ago that he was cheating the entire time and with 3 other woman. One of them I found out that she thought she was pregnant when i was pregnant both my the same evil man. I found out last night that everyone i ever met through this evil man knew about it and no one thought i was worth enough to tell. How the hell do I deal with that angry and hurt its unreal how bad it hurts
Hope your doing well now and moved on. U deserve better
I experienced something similar. You are probably not going to read this because your comment is six years old. I will write this anyway. Bad people experience karma. The man who cheated and lied to me, did this in everyday life too. Even in his business. He ended in prison because of his behaviour.
I am on the other hand a very honest person, now very happily married to a very good and kindhearted man.
I was helping my sister do her homework when she starts to think very hard on what's 6 + 6 and two plus two while doing perimeter work, did I forget to mention she is in third grade? I don't like having to do her work for her >:(
awesome video, Tony is spectacular! Great advice here
thanks for uplifting souls
"A cynical modification of letting go doesn't bring forgiveness, it's when, once you forgive, will you be able to let go." -Anthony Liccione
Quick and to the point
Thank You
What about getting deliverance and reading God's word, to align yourself to holyiness and Righteousness? Love is the answer. Become love. Our God is pure love and he can help you put off evil.
nice quote: "resentment is like drinking poison expecting your enemy to die"
I think of it this way. If you wont forgive you are giving your power away. If you do forgive you are taking your power back. Same with anger , if you keep getting angry @ so n so you are giving up your power. Now I can ask...is it/he/she worth giving my power away over..this?
thanks mam
But what if you don't want them to be hurt and you're only angry because you can't understand why they continue the cycle of hurting you, regaining your trust, and then denying that they hurt you ever?
thank you.
this is perfect. i dont think ive ever watched a Tony robbins video, wheter its 1:30 or 1hr and not said, .....Holy Shit this guy is a friggin genius, he might be Jesus!!!
I do want to achieve the liberation from resentment, bitterness and anger boiling inside me non-stop, besides the outer composure. How to I transfer the healing forgiveness Tony, from my mind to my visceral reactions? I am struggling with that....
I think your on the right track with acknowledging the problem, and then wanting to change it.
Without knowing what the cause of resentment was, I am just giving a general link.
quentinmccall.com/ten-steps-to-healing-from-bitterness-and-resentment/
Very sort
I like the bit said resentment like drinking poison through be more answers thanks
Thank you very much it really helped me a lot you are amazing and all because of you thank you very much once again I hope you remain happy and healthy all your life and your family and friends also remain happy and healthy all their life and the world remain at peace I hope you achieve success and happiness in your life and your family friends the whole world also have success and happiness in their life and you your family friends and the whole world remain at peace keep up your kind work and thank you very much once again
Thanks this is helpful
I forgive myself
So how do you forgive life for dealing you the hand you've been dealt?
Then again, some people are just evil, malicious bastards who enjoy inflicting suffering upon others. They're not having a bad day. They're having a good day.
So true 👌
With other words: Thinking about revenge isn't gonna work, you need to take action! Get that 9mm.
Knowledge is power, thanks for taking the time to post this! Even though Treitan Mellory (google his Simple paper online) already helped me fix my relationship, videos like these are pure gold, cheers!!
What does he mean by
forgiving means your better than?
Why is every advice how to let go of anger, resentment and bitterness totally useless? It is like those who give the advice have no idea of what even anger, resentment and bitternes is...
@Rondo Cat Very True! Only the wearer knows where the shoe pinches?
Could not agree more...like I look for these blogs, videos to find the key to relieve my self of this agonizing pit of hell. Although, it comes and goes, when it's there it just devours me, I feel it physically and mentally drowned in constant arguments/inner battles and reliving the past which re-erupts the anger and resentment and again affects my well-being during those periods. I just need SOMETHING to remove the memory, something to fill the hole. I need something to make me undo the doing of others, and it's nowhere to be found. All of these "tips" and "realizations" I ALREADY KNOW ABOUT. Stating "I forgive them/myself" isn't doing it. They injected me with their cancer and these videos are just chemo therapy with no cure or confirmation of remission. How can I get rid of it, like WTF is the CURE!?! It's preventing me from trusting/loving people. These "deep" videos are great and all, but no answer or comparison to the TRUE deep pain inside us.
I've dissociated myself, although I am fully functional (own home, have a decent career and great income) under society's "norm" but that's just the base...I myself am lost, I am angry and I cannot forgive (nor do those EVIL/VILE/VINDICIVE/SELFISH/VIOLENT people deserve it) and I watch this person disregard or change the narrative for their own comfort, as they move on "normally" (which I know they're not REALLY) but finding other supply to ease their narcissistic personality, while I can't even maintain a normal friendship because of my distrust of people caused by years of poisoning and disregard of the poisoning. Praying, yoga, exercise is good...but I need a one and true treatment to cure me as if the past trauma never existed. I sincerely wished there was treatment like the movie "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" and just erase all memory of that trauma/person/people.
This process is tedious and agonizing, when the triggers happen and I again have to revisit the past. I'm tired of constantly fighting what my brain is pushing onto me....I just want it to be GONE, like it never happened...I know it may be too much to ask for...but is it REALLY? I'm in desperate search for peace of mind, and I'm tired of waiting for it. being told to "forgive myself" and expecting it all to just stop, at the snap of a finger isn't fckng cutting it. Ugh.
Tony Robbins hungry!
He pretty much told this woman that she did something to make this man act that way wdf? 1:08 that's bs. Jeez way to make this person feel better.
Everyone says the same thing, but it doesn’t mean anything if you can’t let go. We all know the causes and solutions for our own personal issues. Writing, saying, or hearing it from someone else still doesn’t change anything.. How tf does one actually let go?? Hahaha
Forgiveness isn't, im better than.
Think about it, if someone walked up and punched me in the face because they didn't like my shirt, I am not thinking I'm better than them by forgiving them. I'm letting go of my pain so that I can still connect with them without any barrier to that person.
Another super important fact is that you HAVE to set boundaries after a serious relationship ends, if its causing you emotional turmoil..
I just really think its a trash statement to say Forgiveness is I'm better than. Jesus taught us to forgive. Not for supremacy, but for connection with others soul. Get real bro.
TONNY ROBINS HUNGRY.
His teeth r soooo white
And if you want a completely different perspective on the benefits of holding a grudge check out:holisticdivorce.wordpress.com/2019/03/11/why-hold-a-grudge/
greg davie
I really like to understand how to get through the hurt the anger of being sexually and ritually abused in the Children's Aid at the age of 6 and for my father raping me for 12 years of my life if Tony's got an answer for me I'd appreciate it because I've spent 30 years in therapy and it's not helped me yet I would really like to know how to heal from this does Tony have any answers for me or suggestions on his videos
Your so-called Father was a sadistic animal and had the humanity taken from him himself at an early age. He should have got/been helped at the very least, not gone on to have children and abuse you the way he was abused.
IMHO, it's a process of understanding why people do these strange things to other people. Human's aren't born monsters, they can be created that way through severe abuse, not getting help, and projecting.
He will never lead a good life, you will because you are a Good person.
Here’s another view of why people hold grudges:
holisticdivorce.wordpress.com/2019/03/11/why-hold-a-grudge/
2 short
EXACTLY!!
Nobody can make us mad or piss us off, NOBODY!!!
It's HOW WE INTERPRET the moment!!!
It's OUR action, OUR reaction, OUR feelings, OUR emotions!!
Imagine some f*ckin pig just pulled you over and gave you a ticket for looking ugly, now how do you want and choose to interpret the feeling or reaction???
REMEMBER, LIKE ATTRACTS LIKE(RAPPORT)!!
Are YOU aware that there are NO mistakes in this World, not even accidents or coincidences??
MOST of us create and attract our crap unconsciously/unknowingly!!
Meditation allows us to become more mindful, aware and content, that's where YOU CHOOSE!! To continue being ignorant and arrogant OR to hush your ego and allow yourself to let go and surrender yourself to a much HIGHER POWER to work thru you and with you, NOT AGAINST YOU!!
ONLY U can make that choice! YOU, or YOUR EGO!
Awesome, just loved what you wrote, totally agree on meditation part cause thats how i have experienced it too, any book recomendation?
Books is just a front, meditation is free, its about going in the silence, going in yourself and just becoming aware of each inhale and exhale of your breath, U become U.
cool, i do it everyday.
Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die:)
What about rapists, murderers, are they doing the best they can!
You can't really know ppl do their best some are really lazy when they don't have to be, no?
Are you Father Anthony Robbi? If so I need connections to "Cusit Bond" Commitee of Uniform Surety Identification Process"
Please help me if you can.
I have been going through the loops to connect with the Vatican. Please help.
1821 to 1921 Hamilton signed with the Vatican to steal our identities to make them into Surety Bonds.I know for a fact, that Cardinal George Pell was involved with this vis the Vatican Bank/City.
Father Anthony Robbi and Arch Bishop Charlie Chaput were involved in this cover-up.
I do have other names, such as Michael Young, Cardinal George Pell, and Brian Williams.
To be included, Chief Chuck Hoskins, Chief Old Person, and Chief FastHorse.
I will contact Michael Young, who signed the proclamation, 907-388-8887.
I'll also contact, Anna Marie Reizinger, Legal Counsel 907-388-8887.
Brian Willians 702-724-5023.
Since you people don't feel the need to speak with me, I will take this to the next level.
All I want is a fair shake. I'm not looking to sue or anything else. Just be reasonable, with me and my family.
My name is Greg Alan Foust 01/30/1955. My sister's name is Shauna Eileen Foust/Hancock/Kees. Sorry, she has been married twice.
My brother's, name is, David Matthew Foust, 07/19/1957.
Apparently, this Cardinal and the Vatican won't give me squat about the Cusit Bond issue.
And you God Lovers don't care as well, as far as the money goes to the Catholic Religion, you people really deon't care who the money belongs to.
Drinking poison and waiting the person to die
Sorry that sounds bogus to me. Just let it go belittles the legitimate hurt. It’s not an instant process. It’s ridiculous to make it sound so easy. Also Forgiveness is godly. It is an opportunity to tap into the best part of who we are. Also there are people who are intentional because they are wicked. Some people have a bad moral compass.., the end . Now harboring anger is destructive. Be angry but sin not
Why is all the tips for letting go of anger and bitterness so totally useless? All just say you need to let it go or it will harm you but no one say anything about HOW to do it.
If your angry it’s possible that u seen a person for more than they really are! In reality they are just the way they are! Letting go of your idea of them is a good start! That person only exists in your mind!
I think it comes down to not having the confidence to believe the same thing will not repeat itself, and not being able to do anything about if/when it does happen again.
Nah they did it cuz they were malicious
Does he resent his dentist for radiating his teeth -
Nothing he says is valid to me anymore after his comments and behavior about the #metoo stuff. He doesnt support victims rights to express themselves and now he says dont be angry if someone hurts you and forgiveness means you think your better??? Some of us are tony .
Easy for him to say, he's rich and does not live under the Trudeau dictatorship !
This is like toxic positivity. BS.
no help here....
Very ignorant and useless explanation, especially the association with the poison 🤦♂️
Dumb advice
who says that, your ego?
the bible not nelson hjehe
His teeth are so white...
Do not whiten your teeth!
ikr?