Me too almost 56 still trying to forget about my ex divorced 3 years ago everyday I check the trash email to see if he sent me a message (that’s where I directed all of his emails ) it’s crazy I just wish I could break it and He will send emails on holidays; Christmas or New Year’s Eve “oh I love you hopefully we can have a better New Year’s with the kids ....😬🥴” and I never respond and I still think about him every day!!! 🤨 I think I’m sick in the head
Im 52.. and im on my journey now.. im an Empath and a year free of a Narcissistic relationship (her abuse & BS woke me up to my people pleasing). but coming from a life of a people pleaser.. i have alot of resentment and rage.. not just at my narc-ex but from her flying monkey, who betrayed me as so-called friend and people who've used me then kicked me to the curb .. so theres a lot of work ahead, counselling and self-love affirmations helped a little.. but the depression of un-expressed emotions and words still holds me
I have to say ...... Since I'm on a healing journey from an awful breakup with a "best friend", someone I new for 25+ years..... When someone asks, "How would you treat your best friend?"....... Oooofffff...... I still feel it..... I have had to revise it and ask, "How would an ideal best friend treat me?".... Then along my healing journey, I discovered my best friend is Me. 💜 I am in hopes when I hear, "How would you treat a best friend", will get less and less painful.
I feel anxiety as well as anger about people who have done me wrong in the past. Thank you for helping me remember that I can choose to move on. This video is really helpful. Absolutely loved it!
Omg. I really needed to hear this today. I was discarded by my narcissist ex boyfriend a couple of weeks ago. I came home from working and he had all of my stuff outside. I felt really angry, confused, betrayed, and sad because I did a lot for him and I’ve been there for him. I put up with his abuse (physical, mentally, emotionally, and substance) and I’ve tried everything to help him and because I was his narcissist supply and I started to put my foot down he didn’t like it and he discarded me like trash and blocked me like I didn’t exist and told everyone that I was crazy. I kept having dreams about him and I still think about him sometimes, but last night I admitted to myself that I was sad and angry and that I miss him, but I felt like that was a start of healing for myself because I didn’t dream about him at all last night. Stephanie, you’ve helped me in ways that I can’t explain. You made me realize that I’m stronger than what I am and that I can get through anything. Thank you ❤️
Wow! You have written all that I want to say.. only thing different is that I was the one who left the home 3 years ago but left the so called friendship 4 months again.. He haunts my dreams, struggling with the self love and getting my confidence back, it was nice to see the same words that I am dealing within myself , listening to these videos help so much ..
@@tracyboles107 trust me when I say this, but it gets easier over time and Stephanie was right. 5 months later, I’m MUCH happier, healthier, and more confident in myself then I ever been in my 21 years of life. You just gotta work on yourself and start the healing process.
You just told my story as well. The narc I was with did me the same way too and he also haunts my dreams.... I hate it so much but the dreams won't stop. I'm 8 months out and although I'm no where near as depressed as I was when I first left I'm getting better slowly. Keep moving forward and never look back.
“Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” - Malachy McCourt In order to live the life you want, it’s important to let go. Acknowledge the feeling and make peace with it. Take control. From a self love content creator to another- I really enjoyed this video Stephanie! ❤️
Staying stuck in anger and resentment allows the other person to control you. You need to take control of your life, your feelings.Continuing to stay stuck in the the anger and resentment only hurts you and prevents you from being the best you that you can be in life. Continuing to hold onto those negative emotions is like taking poison and hoping the other person dies! If you have been wronged then being hurt, angry,resentful are normal emotions, but holding onto them too long then they work against you not for you.Thanks Stephanie for your valuable advise. These videos are helping me as well as many other people. Have a happy new year, and be safe and well.
Thank you for this, i sometimes struggle with being angry at people who hurt me in the past, and i feel it's dumb to still be mad about someone yelling at me back in 2015 that still haunts my brain sometimes. Im slowly learning how to get over this though, thank you Stephanie.
I just wanted to thank you for your words of wisdom. You are an amazing coach, and when you get to the place that these words are so powerful- you know that you are in the place of moving on in the right direction. Thank you.
I finally understand this process, thank you for sharing. Before watching this video, I tried letting go so I could move on from a toxic person and situation. I acknowledge everything, learned from it, and tried to become a victor instead of a victim. I have good days, I have my bad days. My bad days are a struggle and I'm constantly fighting myself. After watching this video, I'm not sure if I really chose to be happy. I mean, is this apart of the process? Randomly thinking about it every day and sometimes struggling with it? Sometimes I can brush it off, but sometimes I can't and I just want to lash out. It takes everything out of me not to because I know it's like giving the person power over me. :'(
I really appreciate your videos. You’re teaching me how to handle my emotions. I was always taught that it was wrong to have and express emotions. I ask God for a teacher, and you’re one of them. Thank you for you time and dedication :). Your work is invaluable.
Stephanie, this is great insight and advice. Five years ago, my ex-wife cheated on me and nuked the family; we share four children. She destroyed everything we had built and that really hurt me. I've been using reason and logic to snap me out of my resentment. She messaged me "Merry Christmas" a few days ago, and as usual, I ignored her text. Is it wrong to not reply? I just feel that some people can hurt you so bad, that it's best to just completely remove them from your life.
If you are aware that this is a pattern of behaviour that she constantly did? Cheating..two people have to try really hard to get that back on track..the relationship...plus if you have a great relationship with the children I wouldn't text back..they can communicate that with you..you can always say good luck to her in new year..you have choices...you can only understand what you want/need not to do...what happened before we ever had phones and texts. You said merry christmas to someone you met or you ignored them. Texts..phish...it's not a do or die scenario...just head..hearts.. and communication...
I went through the exact same thing. I was replaced before I was even out the door. It has been a challenge to heal and let go. I just knew that I had to in order for me to be with my 4 year old son. That discard was brutal...truly heartless
@@Lover-of_TRuth Thank you, I feel the same way. I've told no one close to me but, I'm still very broken by her actions. The hardest part is trying to conceal my own resentment of her from the kids. I'm glad you too, ignore your husband's texts. I don't wish her well and I don't wish her bad, I just don't care and keep her at a distance for my sanity.
Yes thank God New year, walking away and going no contact has been the best Xmas present I've ever given myself it's like the gift 🎁 that keeps giving,, I'm done with all the bad feelings that I've had it's time to go on, and that's what I've done ✅ with a smile 😁, I'm glad that I just walked away and going no contact, really helped give me closure,it feels better when I'm the one that took my power back and walked away. I don't feel sad I feel so happy it was like a great awakening for me 😂 great video Stephanie.
Happiness is a choice. The best choice. Chosing who you want in your life is also a choice. Ahh my first comment on your channel ☺️ Thanks for helping me stay happy and have healthy relationships.
There is no problem without solution let me introduce you to someone who helped me get my lover back and my relationship was fixed without delay within few days...
Excellent advice on being mindful of one’s feelings and making a conscious decision to let go and choosing to welcome something new (happiness) into your life. Happy New Year’s Stephanie!
I have been stuck on auto pilot for about five years now. I have been sitting in the same place gaining knowledge but not moving forward. I know what my issues are I just don’t know how to take what I’ve learned and move forward.
I work in the service sector. These tips about how to hang onto yourself while being dumped on, could be pitched just a little differently to address the situation of getting dumped on by a string of narcissists who see service personnel as there to take on their misery while still delivering excellent service. This would be an excellent branch-out for you and provide a very important service to us "essential", hardworking and looked down upon people who really do give a shit about others. And to think, if ill weren't for a recent break up, I would have missed out on this very impressive, inspiring and mind-opening coaching. You're so much more genuine and present than anyone in the therapist role can be. Fuck diagnoses! Who we really are is much more like a dance.
I do get service people being unpleasant all the time but I can choose to not interact with them. I know you don't really have that option. I hope the majority of your interactions are positive however.
I'm having a terrible time letting go... I have being disappointed countless times and I have built up anger tagging along with me always. So much so that my heart is closed off totally...
This was the hardest part for me letting go of the resentment caused by the narcissist. But it had to be done, because it wasn't healthy or making things any easier. The key to just forgetting about a person is just letting the resentment go. Great video!
My ex and her partner disrespected the parenting many times since we’d signed on last March. Each time they disrespected the agreement, I reacted to them last year. I understood their problem and I stopped reacting to them at the beginning of this year. They continue to disrespect the agreement. For instance I’ve gotten so angry against them, but no react to them, go out of my house to change my feelings. Finally I decided to block them.
I have so much resent me toward my child’s father .. we have 4 kids together I just had are fourth child last month on the 15th and during my whole pregnancy he has been treating my like complete shit and playing with my emotions ... 😭😩 while making the other girl happy I’ve always been there for him I’ve always had his back I took him in when his family left him .... we were together for four years ... now he has decided he wants to move on with the girl he has been pleasing and making happy he always says how she has so much money she does whatever he says and everything .... now I have my four kids .... by myself and I want my family so bad but he does not want it so I have so much resentment towards him and I rather him just not come in me and my kids space and let him continue to be happy with the girl he says he is happy with
Can you talk about borderline personality and the extreme reactions that are triggered when we feel as if we’re being left ? I realized I exhibit some of those traits and I’m trying to be more mindful of my inner world
With any negatively difficult past situations that brings up stressful ruminating thoughts and resentful/bitter emotions - the key is revisiting that memory as accurately as you can manage and make a sufficient account of it - emotions, validations, hypothetical reasons, possibilities, and all. And from there, extract as many "pressure points" and lessons as you can from it to help prepare you much more knowledgeably and skillfully to prepare yourself more effectively to resolve matters in the present as well as also to prepare for the future, especially when you happen or are likely to encounter similar situations again. That way you can sort of "have your (own) cake and eat it too", where you can still retain your past as memories/references and then have your new tools and skills from them in the present and into the future to justify the past. Then the rumination and resentment dissipates and your nervous system re-stabilises and is even strengthened from exploring that new ground and conquering it so to speak, whilst still retaining your past, present and future. And then you can focus on the current moment and day and perhaps also consequently improve on forward-moving goals too.
Sitting through that sadness can be brutal but totally necessary. You have to mindfully reprogram those “not good enough” messages the narc rams into your brain. You have to sit through those feelings
My biggest issue is I am stuck in the situation due to finances and a failed back surgery. Unable to work atm. So he is in my face everyday. If it wasn't in my face it would be alot easier to get over the last 40 years of abuse.
Addiction training teaches you to turn your back and walk away. They have to hit rock bottom until any sort of help has a benefit. If you stay with an addict, you are an enabler and that is not your best self.
such an important point. Whenever we accept our feelings and own it ,that is when we finally can turn things around. I had to learn this on my journey.
This was hard to swallow but hearing that it’s all about that conscious choice that allows us to move forward makes the difference! That’s a sign of growth and maturity! It’s about choosing you in a healthy way! Put it down, focus on the solution! 💕💕💕💕
This video was so excellant it was just what i needed thank u so very much ive been struggling with this and didnt know how to address this topic this helped emensely
After seven years of divorce, my narcissistic ex-wife is still in a narcissistic rage. From watching many of your videos, she is at an extreme level of psycho gaslighting and manipulation, but fortunately I am not aware of any physical violence. Sadly, our three teen children are trapped with her, and have been manipulated into defending her victimhood and hating me. I'm going to sign up for your program, and am interested in your suggestion about how to help my children?
@@itslifejimbut_not_as_we_kn6456 Yes, I’m trying to get time with them, and respond rather than react to the brainwashed statements they make. My question was how to get them the help they need. I can avail myself of her written program and videos, but the children don’t understand the manipulated world their mother has pressured them into. I’m searching for child therapists that know how to address the children’s situation. I would never abandon my children.
Stephanie Lyn have you heard about Jordan Peterson from Canada, writer of books like 12 rules for life..He is a clinical psychiatrist from Toronto. I would love to have you both have a chat, video or anything..YOu both help people dealing with basically the same thing. I am tired of watching him school the crap media out there, he is a reasoned and intellectual person trying to explain to a bunch of people without principles basic things, but they think they outsmart him, pathetic journalists. Please would you be interested in having a discussion about certain topics with him..It would be amazing to hear two amazing people like you two discuss anything you judge to be important to tackle. He would be amazed by your intellect and your know-how. Don't we even need to mention your physical beauty because it is off the charts. Your smile is contagious. Happy new year!!
I have accepted what my ex-husband is and i do not care for him anymore, but how do you get rid off the sadness and anger when your grown child has serius problems, does not want to Deal with them and you know that his father is not going to change. I know i am not perfect and that i was blind for many years i would do everything different iff i could but i cant. It breaks my heart as a mother seeing how my child ruins his own life and not accepting my help. How can you ever Deal with that. Love from Switzerland
Be an example for having an healthy relationship with your son that he can learn to recognize the difference between a toxic and an healthy relationships pattern, that way he won't less take the risk to be programmed to be stuck in unhealthy relationship pattern during his lifetime but instead will learn to acknowledge what is really acceptable and not acceptable in a relationship and be aware of the red flags to avoid it in the future. I think it is the best way you can help your son out for this is a lifetime lesson as you love him to learn from his mother what it is to have an open, caring and emphatic, authentic relationship instead of being abused by all kinds of other people expectations in life because not feeling loved for who he really is but instead accepting himself with his humanity ( strength s, weaknesses and vulnerabilities) not being afraid to be human ( we can make mistakes also and that is fine to recognize you can make wrong choices in life as long as you can recognize it early enough and move on to make better decisions and don't get stuck in it). I wish you all the best with your son and have a very blessed new year in Jesus name. Amen
Mam ... How can we over come or manage from this problem. ?. 'New Gen.daughter's in law are very cunning they did not do any work in the home not even look after their children. old people are suffering a lot. How can we overcome this without any quarrel
Yes I have my ex come back in my mind and I genuinely like this other guy but I told him I’m healing and I truly wanna get over this resentment and be happy. Sometimes I let those thoughts happen and not get into the logical way of thinking like she says my a lot of people do videos like this. This is how I keep staying trapped I get mad and hear about my ex from my friends.
He lied to me about his medical record and his ED and blamed me for it and when i started saying no to that painful bed experience instead of taking ownership and working on i. he took off , close bank accounts and left me behind with no job. I fought it and I’m in good place but emotionally I wonder why did he chose to lie to me? i feel sorry and angry but your videos are trying to make it through all these feelings that I have
If i feel resentment is easier to leave the narcissist.If i am not resentful i am absolutely devastated and I start to miss the narcissist end living in the past. .Sometimes i induse feeling of resentment intentionally and I let the narcissist to abuse.
Stephanie.....you are brilliant......just watched your Ross Rosenberg interview........wow.....jam packed.......thank you so much for offering us this gold......just sent it to my son....who is engaged......you are wise well beyond your years ....well done....your parents must be very proud of you......namaste.....love and gratitude.....
I'm ready to let go.. God has been building me up for the last 2 years and I honestly blamed myself for everything until recently I've been learning more about narcissist because she constantly tells me I am. Well she fits the description of a covert more then myself. But I'm definitely codependent. Have been for years. Thank God that I found your sight and I will be reaching out for more. Thank you
I have gone no-contact with a sister who has been very destructive to me and then turns around and blames me and others in my family for her short-falls in life. This has been rough with the push-back I get from family members who wants me to just get along with her. My past role in my family has been the peace-keeping middle-child so for me to set boundaries and go no-contact when the boundaries were broken is not like my typical response. Thank you for your videos. They have been very helpful to take healthy steps for myself, my son, and my husband.
It's hard to believe that anyone would choose resentment.. that's like choosing to eat raw chicken.. it makes no sense. I am guilty of drowning in resentment. Am not sure It's such a choice - possibly moreso the outcome of living the learnt life of codependency & the resentment is part of the journey. I don't really know because I'm just me & don't have the coach's knowledge but the misery of resentment I go through is not something I'd ever choose. Anyway, maybe watching these tutorials will help to be away from the disease that is resentment. Thank you 🍄
Hi, I've just found your videos & thankfully at the right time. I'm an over giver & hooked on a taker..obviously doesn't wasn't know & this is a pattern for me that at 52 I'm finally ready to look at. I found this video inspiring, me to a tee. Thank you, I have looked at others & I can finally see what I need to do, time out, heal, I know my wounds ♥️
Your understanding. Your self love and self awareness surpasses their level of growth. You can’t simply get upset and become resentful because they lack the understanding of what love is. Its not a noun but a verb which takes patience and consistency to grow together. If they can’t understand that and its been some time. Its not your job to baby them. Give them unconditional love so you can be at peace within your soul and wish them the best. Unfortunately, people have become very materialistic and chase lust over agape love. Best of luck to whoever reads this and remember. Your sanity and inner peace and perseveration should never be compromised for anyone. You’re worth more and deserve the best life has to offer. Remember love em anyways and move on.
At 56 I’m working on my healing finally free of toxic people in my life
I’m 59, same here.
55 here and learning a new healthy way to live. It’s liberating.
Me too almost 56 still trying to forget about my ex divorced 3 years ago everyday I check the trash email to see if he sent me a message (that’s where I directed all of his emails ) it’s crazy I just wish I could break it and He will send emails on holidays; Christmas or New Year’s Eve “oh I love you hopefully we can have a better New Year’s with the kids ....😬🥴” and I never respond and I still think about him every day!!! 🤨 I think I’m sick in the head
Im 52.. and im on my journey now.. im an Empath and a year free of a Narcissistic relationship (her abuse & BS woke me up to my people pleasing). but coming from a life of a people pleaser.. i have alot of resentment and rage.. not just at my narc-ex but from her flying monkey, who betrayed me as so-called friend and people who've used me then kicked me to the curb .. so theres a lot of work ahead, counselling and self-love affirmations helped a little.. but the depression of un-expressed emotions and words still holds me
I’m 60 and finally getting the help I need….
I have to say ...... Since I'm on a healing journey from an awful breakup with a "best friend", someone I new for 25+ years..... When someone asks, "How would you treat your best friend?"....... Oooofffff...... I still feel it.....
I have had to revise it and ask, "How would an ideal best friend treat me?".... Then along my healing journey, I discovered my best friend is Me. 💜
I am in hopes when I hear, "How would you treat a best friend", will get less and less painful.
I seriously was thinking about this, as i felt i really needed it, and it showed up... Thank u so much...
Crazy how the universe works, I was thinking the same thing, then boom. This pops up.
@@JourneyMN for sure..
Me too👍🏻
@@ItsMe-gc8rf me three
Same here!
I feel anxiety as well as anger about people who have done me wrong in the past. Thank you for helping me remember that I can choose to move on. This video is really helpful. Absolutely loved it!
I recommend you to a man who help me manifest whatever you want to manifest within two days💞
He was the person who helped me manifest my ex back three days ago without daley🌹
Text him on whatsap 💞
+2 3 4 8 0 8 0 4 9 4 1 4 1🌹
Omg. I really needed to hear this today. I was discarded by my narcissist ex boyfriend a couple of weeks ago. I came home from working and he had all of my stuff outside. I felt really angry, confused, betrayed, and sad because I did a lot for him and I’ve been there for him. I put up with his abuse (physical, mentally, emotionally, and substance) and I’ve tried everything to help him and because I was his narcissist supply and I started to put my foot down he didn’t like it and he discarded me like trash and blocked me like I didn’t exist and told everyone that I was crazy. I kept having dreams about him and I still think about him sometimes, but last night I admitted to myself that I was sad and angry and that I miss him, but I felt like that was a start of healing for myself because I didn’t dream about him at all last night. Stephanie, you’ve helped me in ways that I can’t explain. You made me realize that I’m stronger than what I am and that I can get through anything. Thank you ❤️
Wow! You have written all that I want to say.. only thing different is that I was the one who left the home 3 years ago but left the so called friendship 4 months again.. He haunts my dreams, struggling with the self love and getting my confidence back, it was nice to see the same words that I am dealing within myself , listening to these videos help so much ..
@@tracyboles107 trust me when I say this, but it gets easier over time and Stephanie was right. 5 months later, I’m MUCH happier, healthier, and more confident in myself then I ever been in my 21 years of life. You just gotta work on yourself and start the healing process.
You just told my story as well. The narc I was with did me the same way too and he also haunts my dreams.... I hate it so much but the dreams won't stop. I'm 8 months out and although I'm no where near as depressed as I was when I first left I'm getting better slowly. Keep moving forward and never look back.
How is everyone doing now? Im starting my forgiveness journey.
“Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” - Malachy McCourt
In order to live the life you want, it’s important to let go. Acknowledge the feeling and make peace with it. Take control.
From a self love content creator to another- I really enjoyed this video Stephanie! ❤️
@Jr Reyes Thank you!
Thanks for your words of wisdom.🌺
@@maryrose8057 You’re so welcome! ❤️
Malachy McCourt didn’t say that.
@@Dogcatlover2432 It’s right on the Forbes website. :)
Sending everyone renewal and strength to let of the past for the new year 2021
I recommend you to a man who help me manifest whatever you want to manifest within two days💞
He was the person who helped me manifest my ex back three days ago without daley🌹
Text him on whatsap 💞
+2 3 4 8 0 8 0 4 9 4 1 4 1🌹
Thanks Troy
Staying stuck in anger and resentment allows the other person to control you. You need to take control of your life, your feelings.Continuing to stay stuck in the the anger and resentment only hurts you and prevents you from being the best you that you can be in life. Continuing to hold onto those negative emotions is like taking poison and hoping the other person dies! If you have been wronged then being hurt, angry,resentful are normal emotions, but holding onto them too long then they work against you not for you.Thanks Stephanie for your valuable advise. These videos are helping me as well as many other people. Have a happy new year, and be safe and well.
I'm so bad at this. It's like my brain thinks that if I don't stay mad then they've "won." Ugh so toxic.
It’s really the opposite. They are gone and you are still suffering. They won if you keep hurting.
I needed this video when I was 6 years old; I'm grateful to come across it now, in my 30s so I can implement it and continue my healing process.
Thank you for this, i sometimes struggle with being angry at people who hurt me in the past, and i feel it's dumb to still be mad about someone yelling at me back in 2015 that still haunts my brain sometimes. Im slowly learning how to get over this though, thank you Stephanie.
👍
I recommend you to a man who help me manifest whatever you want to manifest within two days💞
He was the person who helped me manifest my ex back three days ago without daley🌹
Text him on whatsap 💞
+2 3 4 8 0 8 0 4 9 4 1 4 1🌹
Stephanie you have helped me so much. I really thank you. God bless you. You are a healer.
Thank u for all your help and support Xo
I just wanted to thank you for your words of wisdom. You are an amazing coach, and when you get to the place that these words are so powerful- you know that you are in the place of moving on in the right direction. Thank you.
There is no problem without solution let me refer you to someone who helps restore broken relationship and helped me get my lover back in few days....
+ 2 3 4 9 0 2 2 9 5 0 8 0 8 😍😘
I finally understand this process, thank you for sharing. Before watching this video, I tried letting go so I could move on from a toxic person and situation. I acknowledge everything, learned from it, and tried to become a victor instead of a victim. I have good days, I have my bad days. My bad days are a struggle and I'm constantly fighting myself. After watching this video, I'm not sure if I really chose to be happy. I mean, is this apart of the process? Randomly thinking about it every day and sometimes struggling with it? Sometimes I can brush it off, but sometimes I can't and I just want to lash out. It takes everything out of me not to because I know it's like giving the person power over me. :'(
There is no problem without solution let me refer you to someone who helps restore broken relationship and helped me get my lover back in few days....
Text on whatapp appreciate later....
+ 2 3 4 9 0 2 2 9 5 0 8 0 8 😍😘
@@clarajoshua2698 we don't want ur frigen scams. We want to get healthy and not attract these types
I gave a thumbs up to this video. Your advices were really helpful, but... easier said than done!!!
I know, easier said than done. I am going to try to balance the feelings with the logic more and pray to God.
Praying and singing to GOD, fasting and reading the holy scripture is key to healing. Remember GOD specializes in the impossible
Stephanie, thank you so much for the content in this video. Letting go of resentment is something that I a currently actively working on.
I recommend you to a man who help me manifest whatever you want to manifest within two days💞
He was the person who helped me manifest my ex back three days ago without daley🌹
Text him on whatsap 💞
+2 3 4 8 0 8 0 4 9 4 1 4 1🌹
Your advice and videos have helped more than any therapist I have seen! 🙂
I recommend you to a man who help me manifest whatever you want to manifest within two days💞
He was the person who helped me manifest my ex back three days ago without daley🌹
Text him on whatsap 💞
+2 3 4 8 0 8 0 4 9 4 1 4 1🌹
Thanks. Great stuff.
Simply awesome- thank you!
I really appreciate your videos. You’re teaching me how to handle my emotions. I was always taught that it was wrong to have and express emotions. I ask God for a teacher, and you’re one of them. Thank you for you time and dedication :). Your work is invaluable.
Stephanie, this is great insight and advice. Five years ago, my ex-wife cheated on me and nuked the family; we share four children. She destroyed everything we had built and that really hurt me. I've been using reason and logic to snap me out of my resentment. She messaged me "Merry Christmas" a few days ago, and as usual, I ignored her text. Is it wrong to not reply? I just feel that some people can hurt you so bad, that it's best to just completely remove them from your life.
agree cheating is unacceptable
If you are aware that this is a pattern of behaviour that she constantly did? Cheating..two people have to try really hard to get that back on track..the relationship...plus if you have a great relationship with the children I wouldn't text back..they can communicate that with you..you can always say good luck to her in new year..you have choices...you can only understand what you want/need not to do...what happened before we ever had phones and texts. You said merry christmas to someone you met or you ignored them. Texts..phish...it's not a do or die scenario...just head..hearts.. and communication...
I went through the exact same thing. I was replaced before I was even out the door. It has been a challenge to heal and let go. I just knew that I had to in order for me to be with my 4 year old son. That discard was brutal...truly heartless
Don’t feel bad for not responding, you are putting yourself first. I have resolved not to respond to my ex husband either, for my own peace of mind
@@Lover-of_TRuth Thank you, I feel the same way. I've told no one close to me but, I'm still very broken by her actions. The hardest part is trying to conceal my own resentment of her from the kids. I'm glad you too, ignore your husband's texts. I don't wish her well and I don't wish her bad, I just don't care and keep her at a distance for my sanity.
Just tapped into my logical state and comforted my bruised inner child. Thank you, I really needed this 💗
Hello do you need help why don’t you try dr oba he was the one that help me get my ex back
Text him on whatzapp
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Yes thank God New year, walking away and going no contact has been the best Xmas present I've ever given myself it's like the gift 🎁 that keeps giving,, I'm done with all the bad feelings that I've had it's time to go on, and that's what I've done ✅ with a smile 😁, I'm glad that I just walked away and going no contact, really helped give me closure,it feels better when I'm the one that took my power back and walked away. I don't feel sad I feel so happy it was like a great awakening for me 😂 great video Stephanie.
This video is so important and I will be referencing it often. Thank you so much!
I recommend you to a man who help me manifest whatever you want to manifest within two days💞
He was the person who helped me manifest my ex back three days ago without daley🌹
Text him on whatsap 💞
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Thank you.
☮️
Thank you 🙏 great video Stephy
Catch and release.
Thank u much appreciated
Happy New Year SL!
Thank you so much Stephanie.
Happiness is a choice. The best choice. Chosing who you want in your life is also a choice. Ahh my first comment on your channel ☺️ Thanks for helping me stay happy and have healthy relationships.
There is no problem without solution let me introduce you to someone who helped me get my lover back and my relationship was fixed without delay within few days...
+ 2 3 4 9 0 2 2 9 5 0 8 0 8 😍😘
This video was very helpful! THANK YOU!!!
Excellent advice on being mindful of one’s feelings and making a conscious decision to let go and choosing to welcome something new (happiness) into your life.
Happy New Year’s Stephanie!
I recommend you to a man who help me manifest whatever you want to manifest within two days💞
He was the person who helped me manifest my ex back three days ago without daley🌹
Text him on whatsap 💞
+2 3 4 8 0 8 0 4 9 4 1 4 1🌹
"Coach"!!!
I always feels good after I listen to you ❤
Me to
I have been stuck on auto pilot for about five years now. I have been sitting in the same place gaining knowledge but not moving forward. I know what my issues are I just don’t know how to take what I’ve learned and move forward.
Looking within gives us power and control as we can only change ourselves our perspective, looking outside of ourselves is giving our power away.
Mix drop!
To Lydia: that is wonderful advice about changing ourselves! Also looking outside of ourselves is giving away our power. Joe
@@josephblunt2934 I'm glad it was helpful to you Joe. Wishing you all the best!
@@josephblunt2934 I recommend you to a man who help me manifest whatever you want to manifest within two days💞
@@lydias.coaching He was the person who helped me manifest my ex back three days ago without daley🌹
I have people that love me I’m just going to spend time with them
I work in the service sector. These tips about how to hang onto yourself while being dumped on, could be pitched just a little differently to address the situation of getting dumped on by a string of narcissists who see service personnel as there to take on their misery while still delivering excellent service. This would be an excellent branch-out for you and provide a very important service to us "essential", hardworking and looked down upon people who really do give a shit about others. And to think, if ill weren't for a recent break up, I would have missed out on this very impressive, inspiring and mind-opening coaching. You're so much more genuine and present than anyone in the therapist role can be. Fuck diagnoses! Who we really are is much more like a dance.
I do get service people being unpleasant all the time but I can choose to not interact with them. I know you don't really have that option. I hope the majority of your interactions are positive however.
I recommend you to a man who help me manifest whatever you want to manifest within two days💞
He was the person who helped me manifest my ex back three days ago without daley🌹
Text him on whatsap 💞
+2 3 4 8 0 8 0 4 9 4 1 4 1🌹
I'm having a terrible time letting go... I have being disappointed countless times and I have built up anger tagging along with me always. So much so that my heart is closed off totally...
I Know Of a Great Relationship Restorer Who Can Bring Back Your Ex Within 2days Without No Daley 💝
He was the one who helped me restored back my broken relationship of three years without stress nor delay 🥰
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I relate so much. I’m going to work on having stronger boundaries but it’s exhausting feeling like you have to go through life defending yourself 😑
This was the hardest part for me letting go of the resentment caused by the narcissist. But it had to be done, because it wasn't healthy or making things any easier. The key to just forgetting about a person is just letting the resentment go. Great video!
I Know Of a Great Relationship Restorer Who Can Bring Back Your Ex Within 2days Without No Daley 💝
He was the one who helped me restored back my broken relationship of three years without stress nor delay 🥰
Text him on whatsap
+2 3 4 8 0 8 0 4 9 4 1 4 1
My ex and her partner disrespected the parenting many times since we’d signed on last March. Each time they disrespected the agreement, I reacted to them last year. I understood their problem and I stopped reacting to them at the beginning of this year. They continue to disrespect the agreement. For instance I’ve gotten so angry against them, but no react to them, go out of my house to change my feelings. Finally I decided to block them.
Unfortunately he is not supportive person. He usually messaged me back “ That’s not my problem, speak with you ex”
I really need to hear this today as i’m angrey and sad 🙏🏻 I cried out while listening, felt like i want to let it out.
This has helped me
Right on time thank you so much ☺️
I was trying to let things go and move on, but then something happens and it’s triggering again. So I can’t let it go.
This is something I need to practice. I am thinking about getting a punching bag.
Thanks. Happy New Year❄️⛄❄️
I have so much resent me toward my child’s father .. we have 4 kids together I just had are fourth child last month on the 15th and during my whole pregnancy he has been treating my like complete shit and playing with my emotions ... 😭😩 while making the other girl happy I’ve always been there for him I’ve always had his back I took him in when his family left him .... we were together for four years ... now he has decided he wants to move on with the girl he has been pleasing and making happy he always says how she has so much money she does whatever he says and everything .... now I have my four kids .... by myself and I want my family so bad but he does not want it so I have so much resentment towards him and I rather him just not come in me and my kids space and let him continue to be happy with the girl he says he is happy with
Can you talk about borderline personality and the extreme reactions that are triggered when we feel as if we’re being left ? I realized I exhibit some of those traits and I’m trying to be more mindful of my inner world
thanks coach lyn! we love u❤️
I love her tooo
This was really really helpful. We can get stuck very easily . Thank you
With any negatively difficult past situations that brings up stressful ruminating thoughts and resentful/bitter emotions - the key is revisiting that memory as accurately as you can manage and make a sufficient account of it - emotions, validations, hypothetical reasons, possibilities, and all. And from there, extract as many "pressure points" and lessons as you can from it to help prepare you much more knowledgeably and skillfully to prepare yourself more effectively to resolve matters in the present as well as also to prepare for the future, especially when you happen or are likely to encounter similar situations again. That way you can sort of "have your (own) cake and eat it too", where you can still retain your past as memories/references and then have your new tools and skills from them in the present and into the future to justify the past. Then the rumination and resentment dissipates and your nervous system re-stabilises and is even strengthened from exploring that new ground and conquering it so to speak, whilst still retaining your past, present and future. And then you can focus on the current moment and day and perhaps also consequently improve on forward-moving goals too.
Or just pay attention to when fuckery is afoot and walk away. No drama is the rule. Health, joy, laughter and success are the focus.
Thank you very much for explaining it in such a simple way👍🏻👍🏻
Staying stuck in resentment is like living in muddy waters. Choose to move forward & heal 🌿
Sitting through that sadness can be brutal but totally necessary. You have to mindfully reprogram those “not good enough” messages the narc rams into your brain. You have to sit through those feelings
My biggest issue is I am stuck in the situation due to finances and a failed back surgery. Unable to work atm. So he is in my face everyday. If it wasn't in my face it would be alot easier to get over the last 40 years of abuse.
So sorry to read about your situation. There has to be away for you to get out of this. Do you pray?
I'm so sorry Sherri that your going through this. I'm afraid for my future because I know it's never going to stop.
20 years with 3 young children.
@@booberry3326 praying for you Boo Berry.🌻
@@maryrose8057 Thank you so much
Hey Stephanie, can you clarify if this advice applies to people in relationships with addicts? I sort of feel like that is a different animal.
Addiction training teaches you to turn your back and walk away. They have to hit rock bottom until any sort of help has a benefit. If you stay with an addict, you are an enabler and that is not your best self.
@@intelligentbodywork I recommend you to a man who help me manifest whatever you want to manifest within two days💞
@@intelligentbodywork He was the person who helped me manifest my ex back three days ago without daley🌹
@@intelligentbodywork +2 3 4 8 0 8 0 4 9 4 1 4 1🌹
I am so struggling with resentment 😔
It’s been 3 months and I’m tired of crying and can’t get him out of my head. 52 and never been in love like this. He said he needs time. HELP!!
I find your videos very helpful and interesting!! Thank you very much and happy new year!!
such an important point. Whenever we accept our feelings and own it ,that is when we finally can turn things around. I had to learn this on my journey.
Oh I really needed this video. I was feeling hard to let go the toxic relationship. Thanks a lot for the video.
This was hard to swallow but hearing that it’s all about that conscious choice that allows us to move forward makes the difference!
That’s a sign of growth and maturity!
It’s about choosing you in a healthy way!
Put it down, focus on the solution! 💕💕💕💕
If your angry, then be angry. If your sad, then be sad. It will get worked out,, maybe not now, but it will.. God understands. God bless you.
This video was so excellant it was just what i needed thank u so very much ive been struggling with this and didnt know how to address this topic this helped emensely
I Know Of a Great Relationship Restorer Who Can Bring Back Your Ex Within 2days Without No Daley 💝
He was the one who helped me restored back my broken relationship of three years without stress nor delay 🥰
Text him on whatsap
+2 3 4 8 0 8 0 4 9 4 1 4 1🌹
These videos changed my life
After seven years of divorce, my narcissistic ex-wife is still in a narcissistic rage. From watching many of your videos, she is at an extreme level of psycho gaslighting and manipulation, but fortunately I am not aware of any physical violence. Sadly, our three teen children are trapped with her, and have been manipulated into defending her victimhood and hating me. I'm going to sign up for your program, and am interested in your suggestion about how to help my children?
Be there
@@itslifejimbut_not_as_we_kn6456 Yes, I’m trying to get time with them, and respond rather than react to the brainwashed statements they make. My question was how to get them the help they need. I can avail myself of her written program and videos, but the children don’t understand the manipulated world their mother has pressured them into. I’m searching for child therapists that know how to address the children’s situation. I would never abandon my children.
This is everything! I soooo needed this! I choose to move on! 🙌🏼 Thank you!!
Stephanie Lyn have you heard about Jordan Peterson from Canada, writer of books like 12 rules for life..He is a clinical psychiatrist from Toronto. I would love to have you both have a chat, video or anything..YOu both help people dealing with basically the same thing. I am tired of watching him school the crap media out there, he is a reasoned and intellectual person trying to explain to a bunch of people without principles basic things, but they think they outsmart him, pathetic journalists. Please would you be interested in having a discussion about certain topics with him..It would be amazing to hear two amazing people like you two discuss anything you judge to be important to tackle. He would be amazed by your intellect and your know-how. Don't we even need to mention your physical beauty because it is off the charts. Your smile is contagious. Happy new year!!
What about when you’re sad/mad about things you’ve let happen to you when you knew better...letting yourself have some grace.
Hello do you need help why don’t you try dr oba he was the one that help me get my ex back
Text him on whatzapp
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Thank you!
Does she have any formal qualifications in psychology?….I think she probably has great advice but would like to know….
I have accepted what my ex-husband is and i do not care for him anymore, but how do you get rid off the sadness and anger when your grown child has serius problems, does not want to Deal with them and you know that his father is not going to change. I know i am not perfect and that i was blind for many years i would do everything different iff i could but i cant. It breaks my heart as a mother seeing how my child ruins his own life and not accepting my help. How can you ever Deal with that. Love from Switzerland
Be an example for having an healthy relationship with your son that he can learn to recognize the difference between a toxic and an healthy relationships pattern, that way he won't less take the risk to be programmed to be stuck in unhealthy relationship pattern during his lifetime but instead will learn to acknowledge what is really acceptable and not acceptable in a relationship and be aware of the red flags to avoid it in the future. I think it is the best way you can help your son out for this is a lifetime lesson as you love him to learn from his mother what it is to have an open, caring and emphatic, authentic relationship instead of being abused by all kinds of other people expectations in life because not feeling loved for who he really is but instead accepting himself with his humanity ( strength s, weaknesses and vulnerabilities) not being afraid to be human ( we can make mistakes also and that is fine to recognize you can make wrong choices in life as long as you can recognize it early enough and move on to make better decisions and don't get stuck in it). I wish you all the best with your son and have a very blessed new year in Jesus name. Amen
talking way to fast, too much energy. Very hard to follow it - TOO FAST WITH TALKING
You always know what to say queen
Mam ... How can we over come or manage from this problem. ?. 'New Gen.daughter's in law are very cunning they did not do any work in the home not even look after their children. old people are suffering a lot. How can we overcome this without any quarrel
Yes I have my ex come back in my mind and I genuinely like this other guy but I told him I’m healing and I truly wanna get over this resentment and be happy. Sometimes I let those thoughts happen and not get into the logical way of thinking like she says my a lot of people do videos like this. This is how I keep staying trapped I get mad and hear about my ex from my friends.
He lied to me about his medical record and his ED and blamed me for it and when i started saying no to that painful bed experience instead of taking ownership and working on i. he took off , close bank accounts and left me behind with no job. I fought it and I’m in good place but emotionally I wonder why did he chose to lie to me? i feel sorry and angry but your videos are trying to make it through all these feelings that I have
I think you are gorgeous & radiant 🥰
You know what you are so beautiful
Thank you so much! May Lord reward you generously for your amazing work!
If i feel resentment is easier to leave the narcissist.If i am not resentful i am absolutely devastated and I start to miss the narcissist end living in the past. .Sometimes i induse feeling of resentment intentionally and I let the narcissist to abuse.
How can I schedule an appointment for therapy.
Thank you for reminding me that emotions represent inner child and ego.
Who is thumbs downing these videos like seriously lol
Wow so glad I found this video. This video is a game changer.
What if it’s someone you see everyday? How do you deal with that?
“There are no justifiable resentments” - sign at AA meeting
Stephanie.....you are brilliant......just watched your Ross Rosenberg interview........wow.....jam packed.......thank you so much for offering us this gold......just sent it to my son....who is engaged......you are wise well beyond your years ....well done....your parents must be very proud of you......namaste.....love and gratitude.....
Sorry, was 777 but I had to make it 778 likes 😌
Omg...just in time!.
I love your videos! Happy new years !
Same to you love!
I keep coming here & this video is everything
I'm ready to let go.. God has been building me up for the last 2 years and I honestly blamed myself for everything until recently I've been learning more about narcissist because she constantly tells me I am. Well she fits the description of a covert more then myself. But I'm definitely codependent. Have been for years. Thank God that I found your sight and I will be reaching out for more. Thank you
I have gone no-contact with a sister who has been very destructive to me and then turns around and blames me and others in my family for her short-falls in life. This has been rough with the push-back I get from family members who wants me to just get along with her. My past role in my family has been the peace-keeping middle-child so for me to set boundaries and go no-contact when the boundaries were broken is not like my typical response. Thank you for your videos. They have been very helpful to take healthy steps for myself, my son, and my husband.
It's hard to believe that anyone would choose resentment.. that's like choosing to eat raw chicken.. it makes no sense. I am guilty of drowning in resentment. Am not sure It's such a choice - possibly moreso the outcome of living the learnt life of codependency & the resentment is part of the journey. I don't really know because I'm just me & don't have the coach's knowledge but the misery of resentment I go through is not something I'd ever choose. Anyway, maybe watching these tutorials will help to be away from the disease that is resentment. Thank you 🍄
Hi, I've just found your videos & thankfully at the right time. I'm an over giver & hooked on a taker..obviously doesn't wasn't know & this is a pattern for me that at 52 I'm finally ready to look at. I found this video inspiring, me to a tee. Thank you, I have looked at others & I can finally see what I need to do, time out, heal, I know my wounds ♥️
Beautifully said!!! ❤
Your understanding. Your self love and self awareness surpasses their level of growth. You can’t simply get upset and become resentful because they lack the understanding of what love is. Its not a noun but a verb which takes patience and consistency to grow together. If they can’t understand that and its been some time. Its not your job to baby them. Give them unconditional love so you can be at peace within your soul and wish them the best. Unfortunately, people have become very materialistic and chase lust over agape love. Best of luck to whoever reads this and remember. Your sanity and inner peace and perseveration should never be compromised for anyone. You’re worth more and deserve the best life has to offer. Remember love em anyways and move on.