As someone who was punished *severely* for tattling on a family member doing unspeakable things to me as a child, I think that's exactly what happened. The victim gets blamed for causing drama and "trying to tear the family apart". So sad.
On the off chance op or someone who has experienced something similar reads this: What do you recommend to do in that situation. (Or what do you NOT recommend)? If you don't want to answer that, it's completely fine.
I also told on a family member who attempted to do something vile to me (thankfully nothing physically happened), and was blamed for months for messing up the family. We just don't bring it up anymore to get by
@@Jordi_NL Therapy, for one. Stuff like this is not something a child is emotionally capable of dealing with and even now she chokes down her feelings most of the time. Its a coping mechanism that her young self developed but the problem is that its so hard to move onto healthier ways of dealing with things on your own. Truly it takes a lot of work to break those habits but it will take time, care, security, and privacy to work through this. Adults barely have the facilities to process trauma a child had no chance. That is not her fault but she does need help.
@Jordi_NL tell someone you trust, they will be the greatest support system through what your going through. If that person isn't an adult, build up the courage to tell a trusted adult with your support system. Whatever happens after is not your fault, but if the trusted adult doesn't try to help the situation find an adult who will. Everything will be okay
The first story: don’t forget OPs mom! She deserves a butt rating because she told her daughter to lie about what happened to her that night so “people wouldn’t think she slept around”.
That first story has an update, and a rather intriguing one at that. The guy did indeed take the test, it did indeed show that he is the father, and he is just as confused and hurt as she is. He did end up leaving for a few days by her request, and OP decided to keep him around. There's some responses in the thread that seemed to validate the possibility that this was a case of mutual R, where both were unable to remember anything. One particular commenter actually has the most interesting yet terrifying possibility that someone was spiking drinks at the party, and that explains why so many people don't remember what happened during the party, including each other. If that's the case, the person who did that is even more terrifying because who does that?! 😶 I wanted to put this here because I felt it's important to remember that there are always two sides to a story, even in ones like this, where it seems so black-and-white and can be (and in this case _is_ ) very polarizing. I don't know if I could have taken him back even with these other factors, but at the same time I could also see it from her point of view. For the sake of her and her family I hope she's right.
Yes, thank you. RSlash just jumped to the absolute worst possible conclusion with little evidence. It’s clear this is a much more nuanced situation than “he’s a psychopath!”. Like jeez…
Thank you for the update. There seemed to be more to the story and my first conclusion was that it was something mutual. I’m a little disappointed that R/slash went straight to R word.
Thank you for this update. I was so surprised that rSlash didn't for one second consider that maybe they were both blackout drunk (or drugged). Too many people are quick to blame the guy. Why can't a girl get blackout drunk, "consent" to s*x at the time, and then forget about what happened?
I'm actually kind of relieved so few people thought "someone spiked the punch and drugged everyone." That actually happened once in my hometown, so it was immediately my first thought. Glad to see it's not on the forefront of most people's minds and may not be as common as I thought it was.
Story 2: Have to agree with you R/, a 10 year old being dand from the family like that has to be a victim of something. It would explain the reactions he gets from asking, and the sister might be afraid to say something because the last time she did, she was shamed and banished, even her dad turned on her. It seems OP is or will be forced to pick between his dad or sister, and if that's the case, he deserves to know why.
My heart goes out for OP and his sister, I really hope he says something to his dads family like “I’m not coming over anymore until SOMEONE tells me what’s going on. I deserve to know” and they tell him what happened and let HIM make of it what he will Idk what it could be besides That, and Ik op loves his family but… who would want to be with a family that punishes a child for that sort of thing?
As a former 10 year old shunned by my family for accusations of rape by my uncles yeah... Its gonna be something like that. "You just want attention" "You are trying to ruin their life" "You are making it all up" Their sister has been gaslit to hell and back and is worried if her brother hears it he will shun her too. And with the sentiment of "I can't bring myself to ditch my dad's family and make myself an outcast too" She is probably right not to tell him what happened. She is so far past the time she would have proof that it would only be her word against that whole family. She is justifiably scared to say anything.
He’s already chosen. That’s what gets me. He’s willing to let it go so HE can enjoy his whole family. I wonder if he knew the truth if he would still think they’re so wonderful.
My theories are either: - She had an abortion, potentially due to being r*ped and the family are the insanely religious type - She's an affair child, and the family are the insane "we only accept true family" type Those are the only two options that really makes sense. I doubt it was anything she herself did, as it'd need to be pretty major and I'm sure OP would have found out sooner if she tried to murder someone or something like that.
Yeah I didn’t even think of that eventuality, I thought she was like caught doing a sin or some shit but things just didn’t add up. Makes me feel stupid.
@@pollypockets508 I’m so sorry to hear that. Reading undertones and seeing deeper meaning is a life skill and (along with normal enjoyment) I’m using this to learn.
The second story... my first thought was that Em got pregnant and either got an abortion and the family was furious OR they forced her to get one and still banished. But then OP clarified that she was between 10-13 and I was like, yeah, no. I absolutely think she was [redacted] by someone on her dad's side and tried to tell someone and they banished her because they either refused to believe her and thought she was lying to hurt them, or they did and they wanted to pretend it didn't happen. The scary thing is, that is disgustingly common, especially with domestic ab*se. I know someone who went through that. Gods, it's so heartbreaking.
rSlash is wrong to call him a psychopath. That word is bandied about too often by people like rSlash who don't know what they're talking about. If he was a psychopath he would not have stayed around and would not be spending money on the child. This kind of thing still happens in more backward cultures. The woman marries the man in those cases.
@@dtz1000 sexually abusing someone then gaslighting them while feeling no guilt. Thinking that by being a good husband you can make up for it, all without telling the person. Even tho you you know you did an unforgivable act to them. If she knew would she date and marry him? I believe he knows but is lieing to himself " there had to be another guy, she didn't get pregnant from my assault of her" calling him a psychopath is fair
Last update to the first story: The husband got the DNA results that he was the father and reportedly broke down crying. OP is going to therapy (couples and individual) with the husband, but they’re staying together. They’re expecting another child together. OP said that he seems to feel really guilty. What the hell is going on?
@@prettyangel0921 My gut feeling is that BOTH were drugged or black out drunk and lost the memory of the intercourse. And the husband is now hit with the realisation that he was the one who r worded OP and feels INCREDIBLY guilt over it. Cause agreeing to a paternity test is NOT the behavior of a psychopath but of a genuine Victim. Well, Should be the reaction, cause if you know the truth and want to hide it, you AVOID actions that reveal the truth.
It really is possible to be so drunk/high you don't know what you're doing, rape someone, recover a little with no memory, find them, think someone else raped them. The fact he broke down shows he accepts reality of his actions, so it's up to her.
@@firebladeentertainment5739 yes. My thoughts as well. If he was this manipulative man he was have altered his dna to make it come back negative. Lies always find a way to come out. Not fall in place coincidentally.
The second story: That's EXACTLY what I thought. Kids who are sexually abused are often seen as troublemakers in some capacity, which is how the sister was seen. Sometimes they even get into trouble because of it because they want any attention but sexual attention. If it's true, she was brave enough to come out with it when she did but when no one believed her, she crawled back in her shell and kept it to herself in fear that others wouldn't believe her either.
Last story: I actually get the sister a little. My family accused me of a lot of things when I told someone about a part of what my dad did to me. Police called my brother and sister out of class to ask them questions, etc. My sister SCREAMED at me! The only part of her tirade I remember was her telling me I was lying about dad because I was angry? What would they have done if I had told them about the other 4 family members who did something similar to me? I was terrified, so I shut down. Oh, and just in case my brother or sister read this: dad tried to put his penis in me, failed, then gave me a dollar like I was a prostitute when I was 11! The fact he tried to pay me off is what hurt more than the other 4 peds in our family!
@@charmedleblanc I appreciate that. It was not my intent to gain sympathy, but maybe my story can help someone else. I really hope it helps someone who needs it. No one should have to go through that alone!
@@jupitercoyote348 Um, no, not on this planet. Like I said, after my sister screamed at me, I shut down. My life was horrible, until I met my last boyfriend. He is GREAT! His family is like a dream! They love me, I love them, I finally know what a family is supposed to be like! And, I am learning to have healthy relationships. It takes time, scars are not just surface decorations. I mess up a lot, but they forgive me and help me get past all that. They didn't make me feel bad for going to therapy... Do you see the pattern? They HELPED me instead of trying to drag me down. That's the only words I have for that. They did that. For me. They love me. I love them so very much!
Can anyone find the original post? I can't seem to find it. Edit: I found it! Op says he might have a way of finding out what happened or at least getting an idea of it. He says he's going to ask his cousins who might have heard something. The name of the post is "I feel like a traitor because I'm still close with family members who cut off my sister when we were kids (Long, sorry for rambling)" I'll add a link in a separate comment incase it gets flagged or blocked.
My guts tell me that she was raped or molested by one of the family member and they didn't believe her or/and they were not willing to jeopardies the life of the guilty family member. And they went really far into bullying her to not to talk. I hope I'm wrong but I can't imagine any other explanation on why an entire family would be against a child that hard. If it's not to cover a crime, I don't know what could have happen.
If I was 15 and pregnant, my mother would raise hell cause she knows I don’t sleep around. She’d put my feelings above pretending like I “was sleeping around”
Even if my daughter was “sleeping around” at such a young age, I wouldn’t care what other people think. I would deny it if anyone talked about it, and call them out for being so preoccupied with a teenager’s sex life. If anything, I would try to get my young child some help, as there is probably an underlying issue that a child that age would be with multiple guys
Is…. Is this the official stance of the Institute… I’m glad y’all have a great mom… it’s just not what I expected from NIC…. And my mom would totally do the same.. but she has told me before that she gets to raise the baby with me or no deal.
Emily says it's "too humiliating", and no one else will speak about it? Yup, one of them probably did the unspeakable act to her and they're all in denial and/or covering up for the offender. I know a person who basically cut off her entire family because her grandpa did it to her and the family covered it up.
For the last one: either she was m worded and said something (or they were caught and that person lied on her) OR she isn't OPs dad's daughter, meaning mom may have cheated. Those are the only 2 things I can think of. I hope OP can support his sister fully and possibly get some answers.
I have a feeling it's the first one. they keep saying it is something she did. and if she was an affair baby then the mom would have been the one to blame
If she was an affair baby, the family might have still distanced themselves but they would be significantly more angry with the mom and talking a lot more crap about her. Not to mention they wouldn't be saying she was cut out because she "did something". I'm pretty sure the something she did was tell the family that one of her uncles touched her, that her "behavior issues" op mentioned was just a common coping mechanism young assault victims often use to feel in control of their lives.
If i had to make a guess of what happened to Emily i think she was R***d by someone from dad's side of the family and was "banished" because they're disgusting. I mean that level of crying that's fear tears
That and probably also the idea that in a way that she hates that she can't say anything or protect her brother. Because imagine that you went through that type of situation and nobody would believe you. And then your brother is regularly hanging out with that person and the people who claimed that she was lying and he has no idea why. And maybe she thinks that he wouldn't believe her either if she told him.
@@timon6759 according to the update on the post she looks like a gender swapped version of their father, so she’s not an affair baby. He said in the update that if he found out it was CSA he would go “Scorched Earth” on his family, but says he doubts it because according to him if their mother knew she would treat her worse then she already does, but its possible that the mother doesn’t know the full extent of what happened.
Unless there's an update, we don't really know. I think she cries like that because she just wants to spend time with her family, but she's always left out. There's things they've missed out on, and everything they'll miss in the future, all because something happened when she was a kid. It's messed up either way. She was a kid, and they treat the situation like she did the most heinous thing imaginable.
Edit to the second story: This is a way bigger response than I expected. Thank you everyone who took the time to respond, and trust, I am reading all the comments, but in the meantime I'll address some of the points that keep coming up repeatedly: I REALLY hope that CSA is not the cause of all this, but if it is, I want to know so I can go scorched earth on the whole family. Fuck that. The only thing making me doubt the CSA possibility at all is that I'm certain that if my sister was SA'd, our mom would have treated her even worse than she has. Em is absolutely our dad's child. She looks like a gender swapped clone of him. I have no idea if Em is gay, bi, curious, or anything. She's never dated. She's never even had a friend. When we were little, before the family BS, she'd try to hang out/play with our cousins near her age, classmates, or neighbour kids, but they always either ditched her or attacked her pretty much immediately. She never socialized at all in high school and still doesn't. Yes, we're both aware our mom is an abusive POS. We have our own ways of coping with her BS and I'm saving up to move out. Unfortunately Em refuses to consider moving out because she's convinced she's incapable of living independently despite holding a full-time job for over 5 years now (Em being "r*t*rded" and incompetent is another one of our mom's longtime talking points) Related, Em WILL NOT EVER go to therapy. I've suggested it a bunch of times as an option to help her gain the confidence to move out of mom's, and she shuts it down every time. I might have another way of finding out what happened or at least getting an idea of it, since Em won't say anything. I'm thinking two of my cousins might have heard something because they used to live in our grandma's house.
@@ReigoVassal How so? This girl is so emotionally and psychologically damaged by her family to believe like she can NEVER achieve anything in life, she has no one she can trust, no one who could ever make her feel like she CAN be helped. Mental illness and trauma are a big contributor to refusing to get help, because people are scared of humiliation (in this case, AGAIN) if they ever speak up about what happened to them. If that's not something to sympathize with, then I'm sorry but that's saying something about you.
@@ReigoVassalshe had years of extreme mental abuse as a kid. When someone's that young and get abandoned by half the family while the other half tells them they are retarded and and useless it has a big effect on their future mental health to the point they truly believe it. You can do the same to an adult. It's one of the big things abusers use to keep control of their victim. It's disgusting you are victim blaming pretty much.
She needs help and yes it's not her fault, but if she insists she doesn't need help, well... there's nothing much one can do to help. They need to ACCEPT the help. Otherwise they're basically a drowning person who refuse to grab the buoys that would help them while insisting that they're not drowning.
@@ReigoVassal yes I agree. Though you are supposed to keep throwing them the buoys instead of saying you can't help them. Your first comment came off as oh if they don't accept help it's their fault. While to you and me it's easy to say just accept the help it's not hard but to them it could be like drowning in cement instead of water.
Oh this is going to be awful. The fall out of this is going to be awful. Her husband just so happened to be the man who assaulted her and left her pregnant all those years ago and then gave all this BS about how he’s religious and how he wants to save himself for marriage
Theres an update.. shes unfortunately staying with him. He apologized for what he did.. she will tell the rest of the family soon and therapy will start soon, but no real repercussions for the dude unfortunately
@@michaeljenkins178 wtf??? She's going to stay with the man who r***ed her and lied to her over and over?? Wow. She deserves so much better and he deserves jail.
There were other people at the party all blackout drunk including him. Why do you have to assume he knows that he's the father. If a he was a real psychopath he would go out of his way to doctor the paternity test which he clearly doesn't. He would also just leave because he wouldn't care enough.
RSlash, there's a last update for that first story: it came back positive and according to her "he was floored with guilt and shame, but he didnt remember doing it". He gave her the space she needed (moved out for a while) and let her make her own decisions. They are going through couples and individual therapy, and OP is planning to accept the guy back if things progress as they are right now. As for my opinion: It could be what sounded like it was (r***) or it could be that the guy also got drugged, since it seems like no one in that party remembered anything. I dont agree with the "psycopath" label here. If the guy was one, this story would be MUCH different, and also, lets avoid misdiagnosing, it doesnt help people with those traits and only helps the guy in court, if this would ever get there.
@Shawna Burt yes, it could be. It would fit the character, but again, the guy suggesting the paternity test and not screwing with it, then allowing space between them is out of character if he is indeed a master manipulator. It feels to me he was also drugged then, but he's always had a thing for OP, seeing the kid as a way to get to her. Idk, both seem reasonable, I just hope OP is happy with her decision after everything.
I'd have to know the guy first. If he is actually an awful person he'd be doing more awful things. However it may have also been an honest mistake by two dumb drugged kids. I don't think OP is wrong for staying with him, but I would suggest begin vigilant about any other awful before he has. As long as nothing else awful happens, like he's abusive or something, it's probably fine for them to stay together.
@@LittleWerewolfPlushie I don't think commenters can post links here. Just enter the username you can see at the bottom-left of the story into your search engine, and for me the first hit was the correct reddit thread. But all I can say .. for me .. that update didn't really do much to alleviate the bad feeling I have about OP's husband. They chose to stay together and do couple's therapy and whatnot. What I found strange was the side-note about OP's brother. The brother and the husband used to be best friends, but for whatever reason, the brother was against their relationship and then went no-contact when the two got married. OP doesn't say why the brother "turned" against his best friend, when they started a relationship. That's really odd, like, in my head, it's like the brother knows something about his former best friend, something bad, and he was ok with it until he realized it might affect his own sister. It's speculation ofc, but still ..
@@LittleWerewolfPlushie So here's the update: This is my last update. After my husband got the results that he was the father he broke down and explained how he found me and how bad he felt for not protecting me. He told me how he cleaned me up and took me home. He knew in his heart he couldn't have done that too me. He asked about the party afterwards but I didn't remember and neither did he so he thought he was protecting me by not telling me. After that I didn't go out much and there was a rumor about me having a boyfriend. When he saw i was pregnant he didn't feel it was his place to ask questions about who the father was. He inferred that it was the rumored boyfriend. After I had my daughter he noticed I was struggling and offered help. I told he what my mom told me to tell people about my daughters father. He said at first it was to help a a childhood friend, but he started to do more after he started to see me more as a friend. He knew if we started a relationship he would take my daughter in as his own. I showed him my post and he understood why everyone was telling me to leave and he truly didn't remember doing that to me. He told me he wished he knew so he could have done more. He told me how his stomach sunk and how much guilt washed over him. He told me I had full power over this and he had no right to object. I asked him to stay with someone for awhile so I could sort my thoughts. He stayed with his parents for a few days and called me daily to make sure we were ok. I recently found out I was pregnant. We decided to go to couples therapy and individual therapy. We have more than 2 kids I feel like putting the specific number will be too many details and someone might be able to tell who we are. We are planning on staying together im still in love with him and this hasn't changed. We are going to see if we can get his name on our daughters birth certificate. We will tell our family the details soon. I feel like my brother will react like everyone here did. Mostly because he was against us getting married and even though they were best friends he completely cut communications with him when we started dating. I know this wasn't the update a lot of people were hoping for but im going to do what makes me happy. Im aware I probably shouldn't have posted this. At the time I wanted to vent and this seemed like a convenient place to do that. Thank you everyone for your concern.
@@augustaseptemberova5664 the reason the brother acted the way he did is its part of the guy code, no matter what you are not allowed to date or passionately hug a guy friends sister or ex for that matter. Its a form of betrayal and most cases its either banishment or an a** whooping or both. I know woman have a similar code about exes but they usually don't follow it well none of my female friends did.
Update for the first story: This is my last update. After my husband got the results that he was the father he broke down and explain how he found me and how bad he felt for not protecting me. He told me how he cleaned me up and took me home. He knew in his heart he couldn’t have done that to me. He asked me about the party afterwards, but I didn’t remember and neither did he so he thought he was protecting me by not telling me. After that I didn’t go out much and there was a rumor about me having a boyfriend. When he saw I was pregnant he didn’t feel it was his place to ask questions about who the father was. He inferred that it was the rumored boyfriend. After I had my daughter he noticed I was struggling and offered help. I told he what my mom told me to tell people about my daughter’s father. He said at first it was to help as a childhood friend, but he started doing more after he started seeing me as more than a friend. He knew if we started a relationship he would take in my daughter as his. I showed him my post and he understood why everyone was telling me to leave and that he truly didn’t remember doing that to me. He feels horrible and told me he wished he knew so he could have done more. He told me how his stomach sunk when he saw the results and how much guilt washed over him. He told me I had full power over this and he had no right to object. I asked him to stay with someone for a while so I could sort my thoughts. He stayed with his parents for a few days and called me daily to make sure we were okay. I recently found out I was pregnant. We decided to go to couples therapy and individual therapy. We have more than 2 kids. I feel like putting the specific number will be to many details and someone might be able to tell who we are. We are planning to staying together. I’m still in love with him and this hasn’t changed that. We are going to see if his name can go on our daughter’s birth certificate. We will tell our family the details soon. I feel like my brother will react like everyone here did. Mostly because he was against us getting married, and even though they were best friends he completely cut communications with him when we started dating. I know this wasn’t the update a lot of people were hoping for but I’m going to do what makes me happy. I’m aware I probably shouldn’t have posted this. At the time I wanted to vent and this seemed like a convenient place to do that. Thank you everyone for your concern.
Literal actual horror movie stuff oh my God. Therapy, divorce, get out NOW. Do not pass go, RUN. Holy shit. And immediately start documenting everything because you can NOT let him get or share custody.
@@mason7067 Typical western thinking. Why would you assume something, even when hints/clues are overwhelming, even had a DNA test to confirm it. That is not assuming, that is ACTUAL FACTS!
@@HobieInTheBox Ya. Sounds like they were at a pretty crazy party, and that this was common, at least for her. She wasn't at all surprised his reaction was "whatever guy got you to stop partying". It sounds like he was interested, but she was a bit wild for him. They got blackout drunk and had sex neither remembers, so we have no idea who initiated. If he was interested in her but put off by the party life then he'd be more interested once she settled down. Sounds like the most wholesome possible outcome you can expect from blackout party sex.
2nd story) Molestation was my initial take as well! There are no indications that Em as a child was a serial troublemaker. The banishment seemed to just come out of nowhere. That indicates she is the victim. OP needs to keep knocking down doors until someone caves! When they do cave, keep nagging at them until they spill EVERYTHING! Find Em some professional help, she's been ostracised, been made the scapegoat by the actions of a trusted family member of which she was powerless to stop. Through all these years, Em's been holding her head high. OP, get her some help - she can't keep this charade up doubting if you got her back or not. At some point she will break, it could be more imminent than not. *Edit* Grammar
The first story has an update. Looks like Husband found out he is the father and broke down with guilt over what that meant. He seems to genuinely not remember that night. They are both attending therapy.
While the first story is both tragic and insane, rslash is making a lot of assumptions that potentially skew these ratings. First off, Ive been to a fair number of parties and drugs and alcohol are staples. Given he willingly offered to take a paternity test, it is highly likely that whatever the true events are they were both under the influence of something. While any actions on his part that were taken are not good. There is not enough info to condemn him, and certainly not enough to straight up call him a psychopath.
Honestly (and I say this as a woman) - if he was just as blackout drunk as she was, then his actions are no worse than hers. If SHE lacks the ability to consent because she's drunk, so does HE. If you assume that HE committed any kind of immoral or illegal acts by sleeping with her if he was ALSO blackout drunk, then SHE also committed those same immoral/illegal acts too. Personally, I think that if two people are both that drunk, then trying to place blame on either one of them, in the absence of evidence to the contrary, is just ridiculous. Consent, or lack thereof, goes both ways.
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Let me preface this by saying that being psychopathic does not equal being a bad person. The vast majority of people with psychopathic traits are pro-social, not anti-social. However, as one of those people, if I _didn't_ understand that it would be a dick move to rape someone and then position myself as the stepfather of my own biological child, offering to take a paternity test is exactly what I would be doing as well. Then, while waiting for the result (that I knew what it would be showing) I would make a few offhand remarks about how crazy it would be if it turned out that I really _was_ the father. Then when the results came, I would hesitate to open the envelope and say something about how I've been joking about how it would be crazy if I really turned out to be the father but now when I hold the envelope in my hands I'm actually nervous because of how much I really want to be her father. Then I'd take a deep breath, open the envelope and receive the miraculously happy news. Now obviously that doesn't prove that he's a psychopath, it's really rare, about .75%-1% of the population. And a criminal/anti-social psychopath is even _more_ rare, ~15%-16% of all psychopaths... but my point is that just because he offered to take a paternity test doesn't necessarily make him as innocent as he would like to seem. Yet a third possibility is that he _is_ a psychopath but he really _was_ as drunk as he claims and that they had consenting sex that neither of them remember.
The first story is a severely wild story to be reading on Mothers Day. Also there was another update to the story: Update: This is my last update. After my husband got the results that he was the father he broke down and explain how he found me and how bad he felt for not protecting me. He told me how he cleaned me up and took me home. He knew in his heart he couldn’t have done that to me. He asked me about the party afterwards, but I didn’t remember and neither did he so he thought he was protecting me by not telling me. After that I didn’t go out much and there was a rumor about me having a boyfriend. When he saw I was pregnant he didn’t feel it was his place to ask questions about who the father was. He inferred that it was the rumored boyfriend. After I had my daughter he noticed I was struggling and offered help. I told he what my mom told me to tell people about my daughter’s father. He said at first it was to help as a childhood friend, but he started doing more after he started seeing me as more than a friend. He knew if we started a relationship he would take in my daughter as his. I showed him my post and he understood why everyone was telling me to leave and that he truly didn’t remember doing that to me. He feels horrible and told me he wished he knew so he could have done more. He told me how his stomach sunk when he saw the results and how much guilt washed over him. He told me I had full power over this and he had no right to object. I asked him to stay with someone for a while so I could sort my thoughts. He stayed with his parents for a few days and called me daily to make sure we were okay. I recently found out I was pregnant. We decided to go to couples therapy and individual therapy. We have more than 2 kids. I feel like putting the specific number will be to many details and someone might be able to tell who we are. We are planning to staying together. I’m still in love with him and this hasn’t changed that. We are going to see if his name can go on our daughter’s birth certificate. We will tell our family the details soon. I feel like my brother will react like everyone here did. Mostly because he was against us getting married, and even though they were best friends he completely cut communications with him when we started dating. I know this wasn’t the update a lot of people were hoping for but I’m going to do what makes me happy. I’m aware I probably shouldn’t have posted this. At the time I wanted to vent and this seemed like a convenient place to do that. Thank you everyone for your concern.
An alternative theory on the 2nd story is that the dad's family found out that Emily is not their biological grand-daugther. That she is an affair baby and that is one of the reasons why the parents divorced. They don't want to be associated to an affair baby that is why they wanted her cut-off from the family.
I thought this too. Emily may think OP will abandon her if he finds out she's not his "real" sister. Of course, that still makes the adults a bunch of a holes!
Yo! First story has an update: basically the husband did the paternity test and found out that the daughter is his, so he didn't scam it. He told OP that she has full power in the situation and he understands why everyone in the post was telling her to leave him (she showed him the post). He's staying with his parents for the time being while OP sorts her thoughts.
Last story: OP NEEDS to know what happened, what if OP has children, they are going to want to know what happened before bringing kids over, because what happened to OP's Sister could happen to his kids, and they'd never know until it was too late.
the final story sounds like the sister had been molested or something, and she was blackmailed from even saying a word, just to protect you from disowning your father and his side of the family, and from the sounds of things the mother also seems to be in on this as well.
Hey, OP on the first OP posted an update. They did get the paternity test and it came back positive. The husband was completely surprised and even broke down. He honestly had no idea he was the father. I don’t think he was a psychopath, but they were both drunk teenagers. It seems both of them drank so much they blacked out.
In the story about Emily I absolutely agree that her brother needs to know what happened because if somebody did our her in some way or harm her in some way and then he has a daughter one day and bring them around them without knowing that could be harmful to his child.
In the second story when he says he wishes he was a kid again that didn’t know any of this really puts “ignorance is bliss” into perspective. But I really hope that family gets what’s coming to them for what they did to Emily.
Everyone take a second and consider that you only have one side of the first story. It’s entirely possible that she genuinely did get drunk and black out, and he did the same.
true the first one could be : someone at the party tough it would be funny to lace the bowl of fruit / alcool with drugs and a lot of people acted silly, forgot what happend.
stop defending rapists and start listening to víctims. Whenever it’s a woman who has this happen everyone is so quick to defend the guy…he clearly is lying I mean she woke up in a CAR
@@kaidenr5602 looking at both sides is not defending the perpetrator. this is a thing every one does to analyze the situation. read the updates also it’s very obvious he was blackout as well because he didn’t remember anything, no guilty man would incriminate themselves further by taking a test
@@kaidenr5602 That's definitely the biggest thing stopping me from believing the husband. OP woke up *in a car with her head covered*. If that doesn't scream r***, I don't know what does
Story 1: That has got to be one of the worst SA incidents I've ever heard. He planned to SA OP for a long time, constantly hesitating before finally following through, and then he dips and gaslights OP afterwards. And he claims to love OP. Nothing but lies, lies, and lies.
There is an update to the first story, it appears the husband truly doesn't remember and broke down after getting the results. Either way though, rSlash, please remember one thing. You are not a psychiatrist. As such, you do not get to label someone, anyone as "a clinical psychopath". That is a diagnosis, those come from a professional only. There are a LOT of factors that play into clinical psychopathy, and from that story, the husband does not exhibit any of them, the only clues you have is what you ASSUME happened (which also isn't necessarily the truth). So please, my man, do not presume to diagnose someone with a clinical mental illness, especially not if you are operating on mere assumptions. This isn't "not taking the easy route". This is literally above your paygrade, as reddit suggested. You do not get to make such statements.
First Story: I didn’t finish the story but how OP's then husband has been treating this kid gives off red flags. I could be wrong but something tells me OP's husband raped OP and got her pregnant. I wouldn’t act nurturing, I’d be asking questions like "who were u with last during that incident?" and stuff like that. Oh boy...I called it. Is it too late for OP to press charges for rape? Like this man got OP pregnant and OP obviously didn’t give consent (especially since she didn’t know where she was nor how she was in the car). Why is he trying to get a paternity test when he knows he is the father. This man is insane and OP needs to get away from this man. Whats the limitation to press charges on a rapist? Second Story: I’m not going to lie, listening to this story was pissing me off. What did Emily do that caused her to basically get disowned by both sides of her family? This is reminding me of needless cliffhangers or stupid plot holes in a movie or game. The fact that no one wants to mention what she did (even though she did it as a child) leads me to believe OP's family are overreacting and being overdramatic. Comment: I agree with that comment, something probably happened to her.
The statute of limitation is a bitch but even if it isn't up, based on this timeline he was still a minor when this happened and if I remember correctly, I think your record gets wiped when you turn 18.
Very likely, but it depends where they are. Some places don't have a statute of limitations on it, but she still may not be able to press charges because of his age at the time. But hopefully if she's proactive about it she can work with a lawyer to build a very strong case for divorce, no custody, and no contact. I hope she realizes what she needs to do and I hope that the courts don't fail her.
ive read the update on first story. Husband couldnt remember that party properly. He supposedly was shocked and felt lot of guilt when saw paternity results and they decided to go to individual and couple therapy. guess is both were drunk/spiked and did the deed and both couldnt remember anything. So not necessary he is Rword.
Sadly, I think you are spot on with your comment to the second story. My money is on OP's sister having been SA'd again and again and again, probably by a male adult or teenager living in the same household. What follows is unfortunately all too common: when she tries to tell somebody they don't believe her and instead trust the accused abuser's account that this _little child_ for some unfathomable reason has decided to destroy the family with lies about things she should have barely a clue about at that age. It's motivated reasoning of the worst kind, adding trauma on top of trauma. OP _needs_ to learn what happened, because if this suspicion is even in the ballpark those people he doesn't want to lose contact with are _pure evil._
First story update, not an update I’m happy with but it’s OPs life Update: This is my last update. After my husband got the results that he was the father he broke down and explain how he found me and how bad he felt for not protecting me. He told me how he cleaned me up and took me home. He knew in his heart he couldn’t have done that to me. He asked me about the party afterwards, but I didn’t remember and neither did he so he thought he was protecting me by not telling me. After that I didn’t go out much and there was a rumor about me having a boyfriend. When he saw I was pregnant he didn’t feel it was his place to ask questions about who the father was. He inferred that it was the rumored boyfriend. After I had my daughter he noticed I was struggling and offered help. I told he what my mom told me to tell people about my daughter’s father. He said at first it was to help as a childhood friend, but he started doing more after he started seeing me as more than a friend. He knew if we started a relationship he would take in my daughter as his. I showed him my post and he understood why everyone was telling me to leave and that he truly didn’t remember doing that to me. He feels horrible and told me he wished he knew so he could have done more. He told me how his stomach sunk when he saw the results and how much guilt washed over him. He told me I had full power over this and he had no right to object. I asked him to stay with someone for a while so I could sort my thoughts. He stayed with his parents for a few days and called me daily to make sure we were okay. I recently found out I was pregnant. We decided to go to couples therapy and individual therapy. We have more than 2 kids. I feel like putting the specific number will be to many details and someone might be able to tell who we are. We are planning to staying together. I’m still in love with him and this hasn’t changed that. We are going to see if his name can go on our daughter’s birth certificate. We will tell our family the details soon. I feel like my brother will react like everyone here did. Mostly because he was against us getting married, and even though they were best friends he completely cut communications with him when we started dating. I know this wasn’t the update a lot of people were hoping for but I’m going to do what makes me happy. I’m aware I probably shouldn’t have posted this. At the time I wanted to vent and this seemed like a convenient place to do that. Thank you everyone for your concern.
The last story hits hard because i too was disbelieved, was given no support, and through the emotional abandonment was left with BPD as a permanent scar to be a constant reminder as to what my family did to hide the inconvenient truth.
This might be an unpopular opinion but if the people in the first story were close friends and they were out partying and doing drugs it is very possible that something happened between them and that neither one of them remember. An ex friend of mine and I got blackout drunk one night and woke up in bed next to each other. It was obvious things that happened neither one of us had any memory of it. I feel this way because once they got into a relationship they did not sleep together also he volunteered to go take a DNA test I don't feel like he knows it's his child. I have friends who have come around and treated my daughter like their own and done things I've never asked them to do. I just think people are jumping to conclusions and there's not enough details.
Yeah, but leaving out the last part of the story and arbitrarily declaring him a psychopath for a clickbaity title gets way more views... Hell, it doesn't even need drugs. Alcohol alone is more than enough to cause memory loss, especially as they were both in their mid-teens.
@@JustAnotherBuckyLover worst part is over half the listeners are too stupid to have their own critical thinking and just agree with what rslash thinks
@MinusTheCoffee I agree with ypu, and this bad take, ots such a jump to conclusions, he'll its not a jump its flying to them at light speed, that it's honestly enough for me to unsub from r/
Story 1-Its horrible what happened to her. However, Rslash is too fast to blame the husband. Need more information. If he was also drugged "a lot of people don't remember that party" sounds like someone laced something. You can assume it was the husband. Both need therapy and counseling
Last story. Absolutely someone did something to the sister. The behaviour he described, lashing out and all that can be associated with prolonged abuse.
Oh god Story 3: I was thinking the whole time "She was r4p3d, she was touched, there's no way it's not this" I'm pretty sure THIS is what happened and the reason her father stopped picking her up is because it was either him or one of his brothers (or sisters)! OP PLEASE TALK TO HER PLEASE!!!!
“she’s 13! She needs your help! Not your scorn!” Thank you. That’s unconditional love right there! Keep talking like this, and maybe more people will share your perspective.
Story 2: The next time you show up to your dad’s family, while you’re all eating cuz it’ll be harder to hide if the bail, say: “Look, I’ve been thinking, and the only justifiable reasons i can think of to cut someone off as young as you did my sister would all result in my sister no longer living with me one way or another. And to be honest, with your eternal refusal to even talk it out, I’m starting to think the *real* reason she’s banished is that you’re all just bad people. I mean, what on earth could a 10 year old POSSIBLY do to earn *banishment?* You will probably be banished as well, but TBH: your family see banishments as an acceptable option, you’re better off without them. Cuz even if they aren’t covering for a rapist, that doesn’t change what we’ve noted about how there aren’t many things on the list of “good reasons to ex-communicate a child”that overlap with the list of “actions 10 year olds are capable of doing.”
I hope we can keep an eye on both these stories for future updates. Especially for story 2. I hope the brother can be the big bro that he is and CONFRONT his dad side of the family. It’s unfair how they treated his sister and victim blamed her for all those years.
because of the final update in the first story (rslash didn’t read it) i think this is more of a case of the drinks being spiked at the source and two teenagers who were drugged and effectively raped each other/no rape at all
First Story: When OP mentioned her "now husband" was in college when her child was born (at 15yo), I already knew something was sketchy. However, I guess I was thinking US standards and if he was only 17-18, I guess that was UK standards? But either way, it was absolutely so weird that the second her daughter was born, he started taking immediate interest. Then dating the moment she turned 18 (from the sounds of it) and marrying her as soon as he's *finished* college? All bright red flags! I hope OP gets out, gets a therapist, and figures out what the hell was going on! She never does mention alcohol, but it seems her "now husband" was claiming there was alcohol if he vomited on his pants and claims everyone from that party was blackout. A less likely but far more horrifying alternative is he drugged OP by just drugging an entire punch bowl/drink dispenser, though that would also help reduce the amount of people who could witness his vial actions if there wasn't any alcohol present. It's still unclear, but because of the way OP frames the story, even if there was alcohol at the parties, she never mentions drinking any herself, so I agree with RSlash that this psychopath probably repeated drugged her.
Thats auto assumptions based on gender, going by updates it could be both were drunk/drugged he woke up and saw a girl there maybe even realised it was her and still drunk/drugged was on auto pilot, then when he found out she was pregnant he may of panicked and guessed he was the father so stepped in. Crazy but can happen.
I’ve been a faithful listener for years now. Obviously the content you choose is always great - quite frankly I enjoy experiencing your genuine reactions as you read through every piece as much as I enjoy the content. Today’s topics caused me to loudly express my own feelings/opinions as you went along. I couldn’t honestly say when the last time I yelled along that loudly to hearing tales that others are going through. Don’t get me wrong, it was VERY cathartic to yell. Even if I did cause the cats to flee the kitchen lol
Due to a new update on the first story i have a feeling that not only was OP drunk and possibly drugged to the point of black out but so was the husband and never actually knew. Its such a strange story and idk what to think.
I had a theory that a bunch of people were probably drugged at the party(ies) unknowingly. And it looks like my theory is validated by comments below that the OP updated. It really does seem like a bad case of someone did something stupid and it went horribly wrong for everyone else.
I would have gone up to grandma when grandpa wasn't home and just started screaming WHO R*PED EMILY? WHO R*PED EMILY? WHO R*PED EMILY? until she caved.
**STORY 1 FINAL UPDATE**: This is my last update. After my husband got the results that he was the father he broke down and explain how he found me and how bad he felt for not protecting me. He told me how he cleaned me up and took me home. He knew in his heart he couldn’t have done that to me. He asked me about the party afterwards, but I didn’t remember and neither did he so he thought he was protecting me by not telling me. After that I didn’t go out much and there was a rumor about me having a boyfriend. When he saw I was pregnant he didn’t feel it was his place to ask questions about who the father was. He inferred that it was the rumored boyfriend. After I had my daughter he noticed I was struggling and offered help. I told he what my mom told me to tell people about my daughter’s father. He said at first it was to help as a childhood friend, but he started doing more after he started seeing me as more than a friend. He knew if we started a relationship he would take in my daughter as his. I showed him my post and he understood why everyone was telling me to leave and that he truly didn’t remember doing that to me. He feels horrible and told me he wished he knew so he could have done more. He told me how his stomach sunk when he saw the results and how much guilt washed over him. He told me I had full power over this and he had no right to object. I asked him to stay with someone for a while so I could sort my thoughts. He stayed with his parents for a few days and called me daily to make sure we were okay. I recently found out I was pregnant. We decided to go to couples therapy and individual therapy. We have more than 2 kids. I feel like putting the specific number will be to many details and someone might be able to tell who we are. We are planning to staying together. I’m still in love with him and this hasn’t changed that. We are going to see if his name can go on our daughter’s birth certificate. We will tell our family the details soon. I feel like my brother will react like everyone here did. Mostly because he was against us getting married, and even though they were best friends he completely cut communications with him when we started dating. I know this wasn’t the update a lot of people were hoping for but I’m going to do what makes me happy. I’m aware I probably shouldn’t have posted this. At the time I wanted to vent and this seemed like a convenient place to do that. Thank you everyone for your concern.
Op posted a final update on the first story: "Update: This is my last update. After my husband got the results that he was the father he broke down and explain how he found me and how bad he felt for not protecting me. He told me how he cleaned me up and took me home. He knew in his heart he couldn’t have done that to me. He asked me about the party afterwards, but I didn’t remember and neither did he so he thought he was protecting me by not telling me. After that I didn’t go out much and there was a rumor about me having a boyfriend. When he saw I was pregnant he didn’t feel it was his place to ask questions about who the father was. He inferred that it was the rumored boyfriend. After I had my daughter he noticed I was struggling and offered help. I told he what my mom told me to tell people about my daughter’s father. He said at first it was to help as a childhood friend, but he started doing more after he started seeing me as more than a friend. He knew if we started a relationship he would take in my daughter as his. I showed him my post and he understood why everyone was telling me to leave and that he truly didn’t remember doing that to me. He feels horrible and told me he wished he knew so he could have done more. He told me how his stomach sunk when he saw the results and how much guilt washed over him. He told me I had full power over this and he had no right to object. I asked him to stay with someone for a while so I could sort my thoughts. He stayed with his parents for a few days and called me daily to make sure we were okay. I recently found out I was pregnant. We decided to go to couples therapy and individual therapy. We have more than 2 kids. I feel like putting the specific number will be to many details and someone might be able to tell who we are. We are planning to staying together. I’m still in love with him and this hasn’t changed that. We are going to see if his name can go on our daughter’s birth certificate. We will tell our family the details soon. I feel like my brother will react like everyone here did. Mostly because he was against us getting married, and even though they were best friends he completely cut communications with him when we started dating. I know this wasn’t the update a lot of people were hoping for but I’m going to do what makes me happy. I’m aware I probably shouldn’t have posted this. At the time I wanted to vent and this seemed like a convenient place to do that. Thank you everyone for your concern."
Information for the Second Story! EDIT: This is a way bigger response than I expected. Thank you everyone who took the time to respond, and trust, I am reading all the comments, but in the meantime l'Il address some of the points that keep coming up repeatedly: I REALLY hope that CSA is not the cause of all this, but if it is, I want to know so I can go scorched earth on the whole family. Fuck that. The only thing making me doubt the CSA possibility at all is that I'm certain that if my sister was SA'd, our mom would have treated her even worse than she has. Em is absolutely our dad's child. She looks like a gender swapped clone of him I have no idea if Em is gay, bi, curious, or anything. She's never dated. She's never even had a friend. When we were little, before the family BS, she'd try to hang out/play with our cousins near her age, classmates, or neighbour kids, but they always either ditched her or attacked her pretty much immediately. She never socialized at all in high school and still doesn't. Yes, we're both aware our mom is an abusive POS. We have our own ways of coping with her BS and I'm saving up to move out. Unfortunately Em refuses to consider moving out because she's convinced she's incapable of living independently despite holding a full-time job for over 5 years now (Em being "r*t*rded" and incompetent is another one of our mom's longtime talking points) Related, Em WILL NOT EVER go to therapy. I've suggested it a bunch of times as an option to help her gain the confidence to move out of mom's, and she shuts it down every time. I might have another way of finding out what happened or at least getting an idea of it, since Em won't say anything. I'm thinking two of my cousins might have heard something because they used to live in our grandma's house.
"She's never dated. She's never even had a friend... She never socialized at all in high school and still doesn't." This part of the update right there screams that Emily suffered CSA from one of her dad's family members (or by dad himself). Something similar happened to me as a child and I too got in trouble for trying to say what that family member was doing to me. And yeah, it's apparently a pretty common reaction to grow up and have difficulty forming healthy relationships, of any type, after that. The problem is compounded especially after suffering the double betrayal of not just having someone harm you in that way but also having the people who are supposed to love you and protect you instead punish you for being the victim of that type of harm. I hope Emily finds the support she needs to heal and move forward in her life (e.g. a good therapist, when she is ready to talk to one). I'm very happy that she, at least, has OP on her side.
The last story OP has every right to know, what if he has kids one day, and brings them around that family member. If something happened he'd never forgive himself. Not only is it really telling that the excluded a child from their family, that even after all this time their still so afraid of it getting out that they haven't told op. You don't usually push away children who lie, you push away children telling the truth you don't wanna hear.
On story one, its been said as replies to other comments and Rslash's vad habbit to railroad hard once a thought is in his head seems to have caused him to miss something huge MULTIPLE PEOPLE AT THESE PARTIES CANT REMEMBER THINGS, and since it was a small town the same folks would be coming arround each other one after another. Also yhe story he told is one that paints himself in a suspicous light from the start, and his willingness to take a test casts doubt on him being this master mind plotting to get what he wants. The whole thing is high above Reddit's payfrade, and so serious that jumping to one beleif or another is unwise.
On the Emily story.... the fact that NO ONE will speak of it, yet will allow OP to keep up a relationship with her instead of warning OP off due to how "terrible" she supposedly is... that makes me super suspicious. It makes me think that the secret they value most is something they don't want OP to know, like oh say, that Emily accused one of THEM of terrible things. Makes me wonder if the family doesn't want a now full grown adult OP to take up the cause, because OP clearly has willpower and they want Emily to feel alone and powerless.
i feel like in the second story OP deserves to know what happened simply because he needs to be able to make an informed decision on how to go forward with his family members and if he needs to reconsider relationships with them
I'm 100% certain that something really horrible happened to Emily, and the family is covering it up/blaming her for what happened. She's probably afraid that if she tells you she'll lose her only brother too and/or you won't believe her either.
So I think the first story, especially with it's updates, really sounds less like he intentionally did the crime and more like he got smashed. Just because the OP doesn't state she was getting black-out drunk doesn't mean anything and she very well could be omitting that fact. It was a party, heavy drinking was likely involved, and to me it looks like the two got so drunk they did the deed and neither of them remembered while just happening to also fall in love with each other later down the line. It's a bizarre situation for sure but weirder things have happened so it wouldn't surprise me. I also feel like R/ here kinda let himself be blinded to all possibilities here when reading the story, because to me as an outsider it just sounds like he did something dumb while drunk, not that he went out of his way and committed premeditated rape.
I can't believe it took him that long to figure it out for the first one and the family drama one the fact that they were uncomfortable SCREAMS that something happened to her and they got upset at her for talking about it which is crazy even my family of assholes say that if you're a child you can redeem yourself if you fuck up and after 18 you should no better so there's no way to be forgiven for fucking up that sucks for her and op no one should blame a child for something they way they are
Story 3: Sounds like what happened I’m my parents families…an uncle went too far and rather than banish the dude, they wanted the kids to clam up and just present a loving family. Cutting that side of the family off is definitely on the table.
The second story something similar kind of happened to me when I was 13 and I told my mom that my cousin had sexually harassed me for three years when I was six until I was nine and I ended up telling one of my aunts that this happened and she ended up making excuses for the person that did this to me and I said I don’t care. He knew what he was doing was wrong or he wouldn’t of hit it and they still ended up defending him so I cut them off.
Damn that second story was triggering. I was 12 when i was kicked out of my dads side of the family. My memory before that (and honestly until around 16-17) is really patchy and though i don't have a diagnosis, i have PTSD like sypmtoms surrounding that part of my life. I can't even see my father or step mum, or even see their names written down without going into fight or flight mode (which is really difficult considering her first initial and last name is the same as a stationary brand) That story felt really trippy, like i was seeing me from my brothers perspective. He was always treated kindly and they were good parents to him, but apparently i wasn't good enough.
At the middle of the party child story, i was absolutely sure that the husband was a rpist. After he suggested a paternity test it seems that if he may actually not remember the night either. Its very likely that someone spiked the entire party. If it was in the earlier 2000s or before, it would probably be more likely because it wasnt as recignised until later. Im not excusing the chances that it couldve been premeditated, or even spur of the moment, but it may also go that direction too. If i were op id try to find others at the party too and ask their experiences. Please dont bash me in the replies, if you want to reply make it civil.
The charity alternative for the first story is that someone else spiked the communal punch and he was spiked too. But also very likely that he premeditated to get his dream girl
Story 2: The only other thing I can think of is self-harm… Some ultra religious families basically disown their children if the think of or act those thoughts. But needless to say OP’s sister should not have been treated that way for all these years.
There is an update: Update: This is my last update. After my husband got the results that he was the father he broke down and explain how he found me and how bad he felt for not protecting me. He told me how he cleaned me up and took me home. He knew in his heart he couldn’t have done that to me. He asked me about the party afterwards, but I didn’t remember and neither did he so he thought he was protecting me by not telling me. After that I didn’t go out much and there was a rumor about me having a boyfriend. When he saw I was pregnant he didn’t feel it was his place to ask questions about who the father was. He inferred that it was the rumored boyfriend. After I had my daughter he noticed I was struggling and offered help. I told he what my mom told me to tell people about my daughter’s father. He said at first it was to help as a childhood friend, but he started doing more after he started seeing me as more than a friend. He knew if we started a relationship he would take in my daughter as his. I showed him my post and he understood why everyone was telling me to leave and that he truly didn’t remember doing that to me. He feels horrible and told me he wished he knew so he could have done more. He told me how his stomach sunk when he saw the results and how much guilt washed over him. He told me I had full power over this and he had no right to object. I asked him to stay with someone for a while so I could sort my thoughts. He stayed with his parents for a few days and called me daily to make sure we were okay. I recently found out I was pregnant. We decided to go to couples therapy and individual therapy. We have more than 2 kids. I feel like putting the specific number will be to many details and someone might be able to tell who we are. We are planning to staying together. I’m still in love with him and this hasn’t changed that. We are going to see if his name can go on our daughter’s birth certificate. We will tell our family the details soon. I feel like my brother will react like everyone here did. Mostly because he was against us getting married, and even though they were best friends he completely cut communications with him when we started dating. I know this wasn’t the update a lot of people were hoping for but I’m going to do what makes me happy. I’m aware I probably shouldn’t have posted this. At the time I wanted to vent and this seemed like a convenient place to do that. Thank you everyone for your concern.
Story one, has anyone considered that the drinks at that last party OP attended, could have been spiked with an unknown substance. And the reason not many people don’t remember much from that night, is that they were all under the influence of said drug.
First story: When people say they were partying in high school, drinking and drugs are almost always involved. The guy didn't r-word her. They were drunk, and neither remembered it. Please don't jump to conclusions, Rslash.
Sometimes these stories are extremely hard to listen to, even with Rslash telling them. I hope the woman in the first story and Emily in the second story get all the love and support they deserve.
Can we fet update videos where rSlash goes through controversial post and takes he's had in the past and discusses the post and comments? This story in particular is one I really want him to go back too and look at again
First story has a final update and oh my god “This is my last update. After my husband got the results that he was the father he broke down and explain how he found me and how bad he felt for not protecting me. He told me how he cleaned me up and took me home. He knew in his heart he couldn’t have done that to me. He asked me about the party afterwards, but I didn’t remember and neither did he so he thought he was protecting me by not telling me. After that I didn’t go out much and there was a rumor about me having a boyfriend. When he saw I was pregnant he didn’t feel it was his place to ask questions about who the father was. He inferred that it was the rumored boyfriend. After I had my daughter he noticed I was struggling and offered help. I told he what my mom told me to tell people about my daughter’s father. He said at first it was to help as a childhood friend, but he started doing more after he started seeing me as more than a friend. He knew if we started a relationship he would take in my daughter as his. I showed him my post and he understood why everyone was telling me to leave and that he truly didn’t remember doing that to me. He feels horrible and told me he wished he knew so he could have done more. He told me how his stomach sunk when he saw the results and how much guilt washed over him. He told me I had full power over this and he had no right to object. I asked him to stay with someone for a while so I could sort my thoughts. He stayed with his parents for a few days and called me daily to make sure we were okay. I recently found out I was pregnant. We decided to go to couples therapy and individual therapy. We have more than 2 kids. I feel like putting the specific number will be to many details and someone might be able to tell who we are. We are planning to staying together. I’m still in love with him and this hasn’t changed that. We are going to see if his name can go on our daughter’s birth certificate. We will tell our family the details soon. I feel like my brother will react like everyone here did. Mostly because he was against us getting married, and even though they were best friends he completely cut communications with him when we started dating. I know this wasn’t the update a lot of people were hoping for but I’m going to do what makes me happy. I’m aware I probably shouldn’t have posted this. At the time I wanted to vent and this seemed like a convenient place to do that. Thank you everyone for your concern.”
RSlash I suggest you check OP's update, that might change your perspective on the guy being a psycho. Something tells me that if we ask OP if there was a punch from where everyone was drinking then someone spiked everyone in that party, and by the looks of it both OP and her husband may have been victims.
I will start with this. I have a son, he is not my biological child, But I am his father. I am his dad. And I will not take being called a "step dad." His Biological father is a sperm donor and a rapist, because he got the mother high on meth and drunk, then took advantage of her. I have been in his life since he was 3 months old. I never knew his mother before hand, so there is literally no chance of him being my biological child. Now for the first story. There is the chance that he was so black out drunk/ high that he honestly doesn't remember doing anything. But there is also the chance that he really did drug and assault her. There really isn't enough information. There is a lot of evidence that there is more going on. I think he does remember what happened to an extent, that's why he started staying around after the daughter was born. But as a person who was accused of rape without having actually doing it, I will say there needs to be evidence. She needs to get some people in the house when she confronts him about the results of the DNA test. Make sure she has a backup incase he flips out. I think he is going to break down, he is going to apologize and probably do everything to make up for it. That's if he doesn't try to fake the results of "his" test.
For the first story, OP did post an update. They got the paternity test done, and her husband broke down when he saw the results. He honestly had no idea that he did that.
A psychopath would rig the paternity test or refuse to take it to begin with. I should know, i was trapped by one for 10 years. They don't create a happy family with their victims. They escalate. Ppl calling him a psychopath have only seen them in movies and their ignorance is speaking.
First story especially with the final update OP posted, I think that it’s very possible that the husband was blackout drunk and doesn’t remember what happened. It seems very complicated and for both of their sakes I’m hoping it was not the worst case scenario
The first story is extremely complicated and it all comes down to how much OP trusts her husband. Unfortunately things can happen where two people get blackout drunk at a high school party, and they have sex, and neither remembers what happened. In the eyes of the law, consent is very straight forward. But when neither of the people involved in the passionate hugging are legally able to consent because they’re both drunk… what happens then? Does it become that they SA-Ed each other? Or do they accept that fate and move on? I heard Markee read this story(it was either Markee or his friend Connor on his second channel) and ever since then I couldn’t wrap my head around what happened entirely. A lot of people are on Rslash’s side, where they believe the husband is lying and he was sober enough to consent and he took her consent away from her, but there’s also a huge chunk on the other side where they believe the husband isn’t lying and both individuals were blackout drunk and they had sloppy drunk sex… I am on the believing the husband side… but listening to Rslash, I’m not entirely stable on this side. It’s a complicated story that will require a lot of therapy.
Same. I think to jump right to the “he’s a psychopath!” conclusion is to absolutely ignore all possible nuance. And the update rSlash didn’t read shows this too.
The other thing, and this happened in my family, is that the girl in our family made inappropriate actions toward another child in the family. There were videos and internet searches and proof of her actions, but she refused to go to therapy, and the other child was terrified to go any sort of family functions if she was there. So, she was uninvited from that side of the family and that was how it was handled. To this day, at the age of 39, she refuses to admit that what she did was wrong.
Story 1 : soooooo many redflags early on and op just up and ignored them.. really weird.. Story 2 : FFS op just freaking ask Emily what happened..it's obvious that your dad's family are full of tweety bird donkeys ( best insult without a cuss I could come up with).. FFS be Emily brother and side with her..
Last story: I thought Emily was not the dad's daughter, like the mom cheated. Because in what kinda scenario will the dad himself distance his daughter in that way
one more explanation for the final story could be that OP's mom cheated and Emily is not related to their dad's side of the family (unless OP and Emily are twins and I missed that part in the vid). The family are still absolute mosters for cutting Emily out the way they did, but it would explain the mom's reaction and why it's only the dad's family that's cutting her out.
@blood onyx Okami yes, yes it is. It isn't her fault if she's an affair baby. That's just petty on that family's part. Punishing a child for anything out of their control is detestable
@@insertedgynamehere Because it's an adult's job to care for a child's well being to the best of their ability. It costs nothing emotionally to be kind to a child, especially one who has done nothing wrong
The first story: I... Might be missing something, but he's taking the initiative to get a paternity test, why would he rush to get that done if he did do that to her?
Exactly. But a title based on two teenagers getting blackout drunk at a party, forgetting they had sex, and then ending up together because they both actually liked each other in the first place is far less pearl-clutching, view-generating than a clickbaity one where Dabney, NOT a psychologist in any respect, declares him a psychopath while leaving out the last update. The one that clarifies he DID go ahead with the test, and was utterly distraught to find out he was the father, is wracked with guilt, left at her behest and said he understood if she never wanted to see him again, and why everyone would jump to the conclusion that he knew all along, and that they were both undergoing individual and couples therapy to figure things out as she was pregnant (and they already have other kids together too).
@@JustAnotherBuckyLover ahhh, thank you very much, I'm glad I caught that, I know Dabney or any other reddit story reader is not a stranger to poor takes or missing updates when filming so it was probably just lost in the writing and everything haha! Let's hope he finds that update at some point
As someone who was punished *severely* for tattling on a family member doing unspeakable things to me as a child, I think that's exactly what happened. The victim gets blamed for causing drama and "trying to tear the family apart". So sad.
Oh wow
On the off chance op or someone who has experienced something similar reads this: What do you recommend to do in that situation. (Or what do you NOT recommend)?
If you don't want to answer that, it's completely fine.
I also told on a family member who attempted to do something vile to me (thankfully nothing physically happened), and was blamed for months for messing up the family. We just don't bring it up anymore to get by
@@Jordi_NL Therapy, for one. Stuff like this is not something a child is emotionally capable of dealing with and even now she chokes down her feelings most of the time. Its a coping mechanism that her young self developed but the problem is that its so hard to move onto healthier ways of dealing with things on your own. Truly it takes a lot of work to break those habits but it will take time, care, security, and privacy to work through this. Adults barely have the facilities to process trauma a child had no chance. That is not her fault but she does need help.
@Jordi_NL tell someone you trust, they will be the greatest support system through what your going through. If that person isn't an adult, build up the courage to tell a trusted adult with your support system. Whatever happens after is not your fault, but if the trusted adult doesn't try to help the situation find an adult who will. Everything will be okay
The first story: don’t forget OPs mom! She deserves a butt rating because she told her daughter to lie about what happened to her that night so “people wouldn’t think she slept around”.
This wasn’t on aita lmao
@@notaseat5934 and? She still deserves a butthead score
@@notaseat5934 idfc I'm giving her an AH rating
Wrong episode but yeah we need some BG/BH ratings for that story
I completely agree with you.
That first story has an update, and a rather intriguing one at that. The guy did indeed take the test, it did indeed show that he is the father, and he is just as confused and hurt as she is. He did end up leaving for a few days by her request, and OP decided to keep him around.
There's some responses in the thread that seemed to validate the possibility that this was a case of mutual R, where both were unable to remember anything.
One particular commenter actually has the most interesting yet terrifying possibility that someone was spiking drinks at the party, and that explains why so many people don't remember what happened during the party, including each other. If that's the case, the person who did that is even more terrifying because who does that?! 😶
I wanted to put this here because I felt it's important to remember that there are always two sides to a story, even in ones like this, where it seems so black-and-white and can be (and in this case _is_ ) very polarizing. I don't know if I could have taken him back even with these other factors, but at the same time I could also see it from her point of view. For the sake of her and her family I hope she's right.
Yes, thank you. RSlash just jumped to the absolute worst possible conclusion with little evidence. It’s clear this is a much more nuanced situation than “he’s a psychopath!”. Like jeez…
Thank you for the update. There seemed to be more to the story and my first conclusion was that it was something mutual.
I’m a little disappointed that R/slash went straight to R word.
Thank you for this update. I was so surprised that rSlash didn't for one second consider that maybe they were both blackout drunk (or drugged). Too many people are quick to blame the guy. Why can't a girl get blackout drunk, "consent" to s*x at the time, and then forget about what happened?
I'm actually kind of relieved so few people thought "someone spiked the punch and drugged everyone." That actually happened once in my hometown, so it was immediately my first thought. Glad to see it's not on the forefront of most people's minds and may not be as common as I thought it was.
Can you link the original post?
Story 2: Have to agree with you R/, a 10 year old being dand from the family like that has to be a victim of something. It would explain the reactions he gets from asking, and the sister might be afraid to say something because the last time she did, she was shamed and banished, even her dad turned on her. It seems OP is or will be forced to pick between his dad or sister, and if that's the case, he deserves to know why.
My heart goes out for OP and his sister, I really hope he says something to his dads family like
“I’m not coming over anymore until SOMEONE tells me what’s going on. I deserve to know” and they tell him what happened and let HIM make of it what he will
Idk what it could be besides That, and Ik op loves his family but… who would want to be with a family that punishes a child for that sort of thing?
As a former 10 year old shunned by my family for accusations of rape by my uncles yeah... Its gonna be something like that. "You just want attention" "You are trying to ruin their life" "You are making it all up" Their sister has been gaslit to hell and back and is worried if her brother hears it he will shun her too. And with the sentiment of "I can't bring myself to ditch my dad's family and make myself an outcast too" She is probably right not to tell him what happened. She is so far past the time she would have proof that it would only be her word against that whole family. She is justifiably scared to say anything.
@@TheWeaponshold I’m so very sorry that happened to you. I hope that you are now surrounded by love and support ❤
Х
He’s already chosen. That’s what gets me. He’s willing to let it go so HE can enjoy his whole family. I wonder if he knew the truth if he would still think they’re so wonderful.
This is absolutely horrifying. Both stories. I definitely think someone did something to Emily more so than she did anything.
My theories are either:
- She had an abortion, potentially due to being r*ped and the family are the insanely religious type
- She's an affair child, and the family are the insane "we only accept true family" type
Those are the only two options that really makes sense. I doubt it was anything she herself did, as it'd need to be pretty major and I'm sure OP would have found out sooner if she tried to murder someone or something like that.
Yeah I didn’t even think of that eventuality, I thought she was like caught doing a sin or some shit but things just didn’t add up. Makes me feel stupid.
Yeah. That was my first thought. But I was also a victim.
@@end_slayer Don't feel stupid. It's a horrible conclusion to come to. I thought of it first because I was hurt in that way as a child.
@@pollypockets508 I’m so sorry to hear that. Reading undertones and seeing deeper meaning is a life skill and (along with normal enjoyment) I’m using this to learn.
The second story... my first thought was that Em got pregnant and either got an abortion and the family was furious OR they forced her to get one and still banished.
But then OP clarified that she was between 10-13 and I was like, yeah, no. I absolutely think she was [redacted] by someone on her dad's side and tried to tell someone and they banished her because they either refused to believe her and thought she was lying to hurt them, or they did and they wanted to pretend it didn't happen.
The scary thing is, that is disgustingly common, especially with domestic ab*se. I know someone who went through that.
Gods, it's so heartbreaking.
Really hope we get an update for this story
Unfortunately it could be both, since it is possible to get pregnant at that age.
Yup, I totally agreed with the comment Slashy read because that was my first thought.
A couple of my aunt's were SAd by their brother. It took 40 years to come out.
Was religion involved with the person you know?
Me listening to the first story when the twist happened: That escalated quickly. I mean that really got outta hand fast.
Seems there has been a big 'last update' to the story that someone shared in the comments
rSlash is wrong to call him a psychopath. That word is bandied about too often by people like rSlash who don't know what they're talking about. If he was a psychopath he would not have stayed around and would not be spending money on the child.
This kind of thing still happens in more backward cultures. The woman marries the man in those cases.
It jumped up a notch.
@@dtz1000 sexually abusing someone then gaslighting them while feeling no guilt. Thinking that by being a good husband you can make up for it, all without telling the person. Even tho you you know you did an unforgivable act to them. If she knew would she date and marry him? I believe he knows but is lieing to himself " there had to be another guy, she didn't get pregnant from my assault of her" calling him a psychopath is fair
@@dtz1000 he could be a psychopath. That is someone who uses social norms to their advantage. ie a party.
Last update to the first story: The husband got the DNA results that he was the father and reportedly broke down crying. OP is going to therapy (couples and individual) with the husband, but they’re staying together. They’re expecting another child together. OP said that he seems to feel really guilty. What the hell is going on?
He is either a very good liar or he was a victim of the drink too.
It might be they were both drugged? Maybe someone drugged the drinks at quite a few of these parties.
@@prettyangel0921 My gut feeling is that BOTH were drugged or black out drunk and lost the memory of the intercourse. And the husband is now hit with the realisation that he was the one who r worded OP and feels INCREDIBLY guilt over it.
Cause agreeing to a paternity test is NOT the behavior of a psychopath but of a genuine Victim.
Well, Should be the reaction, cause if you know the truth and want to hide it, you AVOID actions that reveal the truth.
It really is possible to be so drunk/high you don't know what you're doing, rape someone, recover a little with no memory, find them, think someone else raped them. The fact he broke down shows he accepts reality of his actions, so it's up to her.
@@firebladeentertainment5739 yes. My thoughts as well. If he was this manipulative man he was have altered his dna to make it come back negative. Lies always find a way to come out. Not fall in place coincidentally.
The second story: That's EXACTLY what I thought. Kids who are sexually abused are often seen as troublemakers in some capacity, which is how the sister was seen. Sometimes they even get into trouble because of it because they want any attention but sexual attention. If it's true, she was brave enough to come out with it when she did but when no one believed her, she crawled back in her shell and kept it to herself in fear that others wouldn't believe her either.
Last story: I actually get the sister a little. My family accused me of a lot of things when I told someone about a part of what my dad did to me. Police called my brother and sister out of class to ask them questions, etc. My sister SCREAMED at me! The only part of her tirade I remember was her telling me I was lying about dad because I was angry? What would they have done if I had told them about the other 4 family members who did something similar to me? I was terrified, so I shut down.
Oh, and just in case my brother or sister read this: dad tried to put his penis in me, failed, then gave me a dollar like I was a prostitute when I was 11! The fact he tried to pay me off is what hurt more than the other 4 peds in our family!
😢 so sorry for your experience.
@@charmedleblanc I appreciate that. It was not my intent to gain sympathy, but maybe my story can help someone else. I really hope it helps someone who needs it. No one should have to go through that alone!
Jesus Christ, I’m so sorry about what you went through. I hope he was brought to justice
@@jupitercoyote348 Um, no, not on this planet. Like I said, after my sister screamed at me, I shut down. My life was horrible, until I met my last boyfriend. He is GREAT! His family is like a dream! They love me, I love them, I finally know what a family is supposed to be like! And, I am learning to have healthy relationships. It takes time, scars are not just surface decorations. I mess up a lot, but they forgive me and help me get past all that. They didn't make me feel bad for going to therapy... Do you see the pattern? They HELPED me instead of trying to drag me down. That's the only words I have for that. They did that. For me. They love me. I love them so very much!
Can anyone find the original post? I can't seem to find it.
Edit: I found it! Op says he might have a way of finding out what happened or at least getting an idea of it. He says he's going to ask his cousins who might have heard something.
The name of the post is "I feel like a traitor because I'm still close with family members who cut off my sister when we were kids (Long, sorry for rambling)" I'll add a link in a separate comment incase it gets flagged or blocked.
My youngest is 12,and i'd never disown him.. why do these adults get to bully and be awful to a kid!!
Ikr
My guts tell me that she was raped or molested by one of the family member and they didn't believe her or/and they were not willing to jeopardies the life of the guilty family member. And they went really far into bullying her to not to talk.
I hope I'm wrong but I can't imagine any other explanation on why an entire family would be against a child that hard. If it's not to cover a crime, I don't know what could have happen.
@@Ruchunteur yeah, that would seem like it it.. they suck!
If you ask me, typical christians.
If I was 15 and pregnant, my mother would raise hell cause she knows I don’t sleep around. She’d put my feelings above pretending like I “was sleeping around”
Even if my daughter was “sleeping around” at such a young age, I wouldn’t care what other people think. I would deny it if anyone talked about it, and call them out for being so preoccupied with a teenager’s sex life. If anything, I would try to get my young child some help, as there is probably an underlying issue that a child that age would be with multiple guys
@@allienonomen1354 People are so obsessed with virginity and a child’s sex/love life it’s creepy. Why do we normalize being creepy with kids?
@@nationalinstituteofcheese3012 I think it's more weird how children losing their virginity has become normalised.
@@Dondizle Ya like let kids be kids
Is…. Is this the official stance of the Institute… I’m glad y’all have a great mom… it’s just not what I expected from NIC….
And my mom would totally do the same.. but she has told me before that she gets to raise the baby with me or no deal.
Emily says it's "too humiliating", and no one else will speak about it?
Yup, one of them probably did the unspeakable act to her and they're all in denial and/or covering up for the offender.
I know a person who basically cut off her entire family because her grandpa did it to her and the family covered it up.
For the last one: either she was m worded and said something (or they were caught and that person lied on her) OR she isn't OPs dad's daughter, meaning mom may have cheated. Those are the only 2 things I can think of. I hope OP can support his sister fully and possibly get some answers.
I have a feeling it's the first one. they keep saying it is something she did. and if she was an affair baby then the mom would have been the one to blame
If she was an affair baby, the family might have still distanced themselves but they would be significantly more angry with the mom and talking a lot more crap about her. Not to mention they wouldn't be saying she was cut out because she "did something". I'm pretty sure the something she did was tell the family that one of her uncles touched her, that her "behavior issues" op mentioned was just a common coping mechanism young assault victims often use to feel in control of their lives.
If i had to make a guess of what happened to Emily i think she was R***d by someone from dad's side of the family and was "banished" because they're disgusting. I mean that level of crying that's fear tears
She could also be an affair baby
That and probably also the idea that in a way that she hates that she can't say anything or protect her brother. Because imagine that you went through that type of situation and nobody would believe you. And then your brother is regularly hanging out with that person and the people who claimed that she was lying and he has no idea why. And maybe she thinks that he wouldn't believe her either if she told him.
honestly, if i was OP i'd force a confession from my family because this is just too much.
@@timon6759 according to the update on the post she looks like a gender swapped version of their father, so she’s not an affair baby. He said in the update that if he found out it was CSA he would go “Scorched Earth” on his family, but says he doubts it because according to him if their mother knew she would treat her worse then she already does, but its possible that the mother doesn’t know the full extent of what happened.
Unless there's an update, we don't really know.
I think she cries like that because she just wants to spend time with her family, but she's always left out. There's things they've missed out on, and everything they'll miss in the future, all because something happened when she was a kid.
It's messed up either way. She was a kid, and they treat the situation like she did the most heinous thing imaginable.
Edit to the second story:
This is a way bigger response than I expected. Thank you everyone who took the time to respond, and trust, I am reading all the comments, but in the meantime I'll address some of the points that keep coming up repeatedly:
I REALLY hope that CSA is not the cause of all this, but if it is, I want to know so I can go scorched earth on the whole family. Fuck that.
The only thing making me doubt the CSA possibility at all is that I'm certain that if my sister was SA'd, our mom would have treated her even worse than she has.
Em is absolutely our dad's child. She looks like a gender swapped clone of him.
I have no idea if Em is gay, bi, curious, or anything. She's never dated. She's never even had a friend. When we were little, before the family BS, she'd try to hang out/play with our cousins near her age, classmates, or neighbour kids, but they always either ditched her or attacked her pretty much immediately. She never socialized at all in high school and still doesn't.
Yes, we're both aware our mom is an abusive POS. We have our own ways of coping with her BS and I'm saving up to move out. Unfortunately Em refuses to consider moving out because she's convinced she's incapable of living independently despite holding a full-time job for over 5 years now (Em being "r*t*rded" and incompetent is another one of our mom's longtime talking points)
Related, Em WILL NOT EVER go to therapy. I've suggested it a bunch of times as an option to help her gain the confidence to move out of mom's, and she shuts it down every time.
I might have another way of finding out what happened or at least getting an idea of it, since Em won't say anything. I'm thinking two of my cousins might have heard something because they used to live in our grandma's house.
I'm having a hard time sympathizing someone that refuse to help herself
@@ReigoVassal How so? This girl is so emotionally and psychologically damaged by her family to believe like she can NEVER achieve anything in life, she has no one she can trust, no one who could ever make her feel like she CAN be helped. Mental illness and trauma are a big contributor to refusing to get help, because people are scared of humiliation (in this case, AGAIN) if they ever speak up about what happened to them. If that's not something to sympathize with, then I'm sorry but that's saying something about you.
@@ReigoVassalshe had years of extreme mental abuse as a kid. When someone's that young and get abandoned by half the family while the other half tells them they are retarded and and useless it has a big effect on their future mental health to the point they truly believe it. You can do the same to an adult. It's one of the big things abusers use to keep control of their victim. It's disgusting you are victim blaming pretty much.
She needs help and yes it's not her fault, but if she insists she doesn't need help, well... there's nothing much one can do to help. They need to ACCEPT the help.
Otherwise they're basically a drowning person who refuse to grab the buoys that would help them while insisting that they're not drowning.
@@ReigoVassal yes I agree. Though you are supposed to keep throwing them the buoys instead of saying you can't help them. Your first comment came off as oh if they don't accept help it's their fault. While to you and me it's easy to say just accept the help it's not hard but to them it could be like drowning in cement instead of water.
Oh this is going to be awful. The fall out of this is going to be awful. Her husband just so happened to be the man who assaulted her and left her pregnant all those years ago and then gave all this BS about how he’s religious and how he wants to save himself for marriage
Theres an update.. shes unfortunately staying with him. He apologized for what he did.. she will tell the rest of the family soon and therapy will start soon, but no real repercussions for the dude unfortunately
@@michaeljenkins178 NOOOO wtfff 😭💀
@@michaeljenkins178 this breaks my heart :( she deserves so much more. and he deserves hell
@@michaeljenkins178 wtf??? She's going to stay with the man who r***ed her and lied to her over and over?? Wow. She deserves so much better and he deserves jail.
There were other people at the party all blackout drunk including him. Why do you have to assume he knows that he's the father. If a he was a real psychopath he would go out of his way to doctor the paternity test which he clearly doesn't. He would also just leave because he wouldn't care enough.
RSlash, there's a last update for that first story: it came back positive and according to her "he was floored with guilt and shame, but he didnt remember doing it". He gave her the space she needed (moved out for a while) and let her make her own decisions. They are going through couples and individual therapy, and OP is planning to accept the guy back if things progress as they are right now.
As for my opinion: It could be what sounded like it was (r***) or it could be that the guy also got drugged, since it seems like no one in that party remembered anything. I dont agree with the "psycopath" label here. If the guy was one, this story would be MUCH different, and also, lets avoid misdiagnosing, it doesnt help people with those traits and only helps the guy in court, if this would ever get there.
He playacted being "floored by guilt and shame". He's gaslighting the fuck out of that woman, and he needs to be locked up.
@Shawna Burt yes, it could be. It would fit the character, but again, the guy suggesting the paternity test and not screwing with it, then allowing space between them is out of character if he is indeed a master manipulator. It feels to me he was also drugged then, but he's always had a thing for OP, seeing the kid as a way to get to her. Idk, both seem reasonable, I just hope OP is happy with her decision after everything.
I'd have to know the guy first. If he is actually an awful person he'd be doing more awful things. However it may have also been an honest mistake by two dumb drugged kids. I don't think OP is wrong for staying with him, but I would suggest begin vigilant about any other awful before he has. As long as nothing else awful happens, like he's abusive or something, it's probably fine for them to stay together.
I really hope we get some updates on these stories. I'm very concerned for everyone involved
op from the first story updated!
@@bongiovi.not.bonjovi3364 is there a link?
@@LittleWerewolfPlushie I don't think commenters can post links here. Just enter the username you can see at the bottom-left of the story into your search engine, and for me the first hit was the correct reddit thread.
But all I can say .. for me .. that update didn't really do much to alleviate the bad feeling I have about OP's husband. They chose to stay together and do couple's therapy and whatnot.
What I found strange was the side-note about OP's brother. The brother and the husband used to be best friends, but for whatever reason, the brother was against their relationship and then went no-contact when the two got married. OP doesn't say why the brother "turned" against his best friend, when they started a relationship.
That's really odd, like, in my head, it's like the brother knows something about his former best friend, something bad, and he was ok with it until he realized it might affect his own sister. It's speculation ofc, but still ..
@@LittleWerewolfPlushie So here's the update: This is my last update. After my husband got the results that he was the father he broke down and explained how he found me and how bad he felt for not protecting me. He told me how he cleaned me up and took me home. He knew in his heart he couldn't have done that too me. He asked about the party afterwards but I didn't remember and neither did he so he thought he was protecting me by not telling me. After that I didn't go out much and there was a rumor about me having a boyfriend. When he saw i was pregnant he didn't feel it was his place to ask questions about who the father was. He inferred that it was the rumored boyfriend. After I had my daughter he noticed I was struggling and offered help. I told he what my mom told me to tell people about my daughters father. He said at first it was to help a a childhood friend, but he started to do more after he started to see me more as a friend. He knew if we started a relationship he would take my daughter in as his own. I showed him my post and he understood why everyone was telling me to leave and he truly didn't remember doing that to me. He told me he wished he knew so he could have done more. He told me how his stomach sunk and how much guilt washed over him. He told me I had full power over this and he had no right to object. I asked him to stay with someone for awhile so I could sort my thoughts. He stayed with his parents for a few days and called me daily to make sure we were ok. I recently found out I was pregnant. We decided to go to couples therapy and individual therapy. We have more than 2 kids I feel like putting the specific number will be too many details and someone might be able to tell who we are. We are planning on staying together im still in love with him and this hasn't changed. We are going to see if we can get his name on our daughters birth certificate. We will tell our family the details soon. I feel like my brother will react like everyone here did. Mostly because he was against us getting married and even though they were best friends he completely cut communications with him when we started dating. I know this wasn't the update a lot of people were hoping for but im going to do what makes me happy. Im aware I probably shouldn't have posted this. At the time I wanted to vent and this seemed like a convenient place to do that. Thank you everyone for your concern.
@@augustaseptemberova5664 the reason the brother acted the way he did is its part of the guy code, no matter what you are not allowed to date or passionately hug a guy friends sister or ex for that matter. Its a form of betrayal and most cases its either banishment or an a** whooping or both. I know woman have a similar code about exes but they usually don't follow it well none of my female friends did.
Update for the first story: This is my last update. After my husband got the results that he was the father he broke down and explain how he found me and how bad he felt for not protecting me. He told me how he cleaned me up and took me home. He knew in his heart he couldn’t have done that to me. He asked me about the party afterwards, but I didn’t remember and neither did he so he thought he was protecting me by not telling me. After that I didn’t go out much and there was a rumor about me having a boyfriend. When he saw I was pregnant he didn’t feel it was his place to ask questions about who the father was. He inferred that it was the rumored boyfriend. After I had my daughter he noticed I was struggling and offered help. I told he what my mom told me to tell people about my daughter’s father. He said at first it was to help as a childhood friend, but he started doing more after he started seeing me as more than a friend. He knew if we started a relationship he would take in my daughter as his. I showed him my post and he understood why everyone was telling me to leave and that he truly didn’t remember doing that to me. He feels horrible and told me he wished he knew so he could have done more. He told me how his stomach sunk when he saw the results and how much guilt washed over him. He told me I had full power over this and he had no right to object. I asked him to stay with someone for a while so I could sort my thoughts. He stayed with his parents for a few days and called me daily to make sure we were okay. I recently found out I was pregnant. We decided to go to couples therapy and individual therapy. We have more than 2 kids. I feel like putting the specific number will be to many details and someone might be able to tell who we are. We are planning to staying together. I’m still in love with him and this hasn’t changed that. We are going to see if his name can go on our daughter’s birth certificate. We will tell our family the details soon. I feel like my brother will react like everyone here did. Mostly because he was against us getting married, and even though they were best friends he completely cut communications with him when we started dating. I know this wasn’t the update a lot of people were hoping for but I’m going to do what makes me happy. I’m aware I probably shouldn’t have posted this. At the time I wanted to vent and this seemed like a convenient place to do that. Thank you everyone for your concern.
This makes sense. I don't think this guy's a psychopath. I think he's a loving father for all the right reasons.
If he remembers cleaning her up and taking her home, why doesn't he remember r*ping her? I'm still suspicious.
A loving father who raped a defenseless girl... I'm glad they're going to therapy.
Damn
I think he's a liar. Worst case he was also drugged or Blackout drunk but he still raped her. No excuse
Literal actual horror movie stuff oh my God. Therapy, divorce, get out NOW. Do not pass go, RUN. Holy shit. And immediately start documenting everything because you can NOT let him get or share custody.
Why do you assume he's lying?
@@mason7067 did we listen to the same story???
@@mason7067 Typical western thinking. Why would you assume something, even when hints/clues are overwhelming, even had a DNA test to confirm it. That is not assuming, that is ACTUAL FACTS!
@@HobieInTheBox Ya. Sounds like they were at a pretty crazy party, and that this was common, at least for her.
She wasn't at all surprised his reaction was "whatever guy got you to stop partying". It sounds like he was interested, but she was a bit wild for him.
They got blackout drunk and had sex neither remembers, so we have no idea who initiated.
If he was interested in her but put off by the party life then he'd be more interested once she settled down.
Sounds like the most wholesome possible outcome you can expect from blackout party sex.
@@HobieInTheBox yeah we did why are you so pessimistic for no reason
2nd story) Molestation was my initial take as well! There are no indications that Em as a child was a serial troublemaker. The banishment seemed to just come out of nowhere. That indicates she is the victim. OP needs to keep knocking down doors until someone caves! When they do cave, keep nagging at them until they spill EVERYTHING! Find Em some professional help, she's been ostracised, been made the scapegoat by the actions of a trusted family member of which she was powerless to stop. Through all these years, Em's been holding her head high. OP, get her some help - she can't keep this charade up doubting if you got her back or not. At some point she will break, it could be more imminent than not.
*Edit*
Grammar
There better be updates to those stories. They are way too disturbing
The first story has an update. Looks like Husband found out he is the father and broke down with guilt over what that meant. He seems to genuinely not remember that night. They are both attending therapy.
While the first story is both tragic and insane, rslash is making a lot of assumptions that potentially skew these ratings. First off, Ive been to a fair number of parties and drugs and alcohol are staples. Given he willingly offered to take a paternity test, it is highly likely that whatever the true events are they were both under the influence of something. While any actions on his part that were taken are not good. There is not enough info to condemn him, and certainly not enough to straight up call him a psychopath.
Honestly (and I say this as a woman) - if he was just as blackout drunk as she was, then his actions are no worse than hers. If SHE lacks the ability to consent because she's drunk, so does HE. If you assume that HE committed any kind of immoral or illegal acts by sleeping with her if he was ALSO blackout drunk, then SHE also committed those same immoral/illegal acts too. Personally, I think that if two people are both that drunk, then trying to place blame on either one of them, in the absence of evidence to the contrary, is just ridiculous. Consent, or lack thereof, goes both ways.
Let me preface this by saying that being psychopathic does not equal being a bad person. The vast majority of people with psychopathic traits are pro-social, not anti-social. However, as one of those people, if I _didn't_ understand that it would be a dick move to rape someone and then position myself as the stepfather of my own biological child, offering to take a paternity test is exactly what I would be doing as well. Then, while waiting for the result (that I knew what it would be showing) I would make a few offhand remarks about how crazy it would be if it turned out that I really _was_ the father. Then when the results came, I would hesitate to open the envelope and say something about how I've been joking about how it would be crazy if I really turned out to be the father but now when I hold the envelope in my hands I'm actually nervous because of how much I really want to be her father. Then I'd take a deep breath, open the envelope and receive the miraculously happy news.
Now obviously that doesn't prove that he's a psychopath, it's really rare, about .75%-1% of the population. And a criminal/anti-social psychopath is even _more_ rare, ~15%-16% of all psychopaths... but my point is that just because he offered to take a paternity test doesn't necessarily make him as innocent as he would like to seem.
Yet a third possibility is that he _is_ a psychopath but he really _was_ as drunk as he claims and that they had consenting sex that neither of them remember.
The first story is a severely wild story to be reading on Mothers Day. Also there was another update to the story:
Update: This is my last update. After my husband got the results that he was the father he broke down and explain how he found me and how bad he felt for not protecting me. He told me how he cleaned me up and took me home. He knew in his heart he couldn’t have done that to me. He asked me about the party afterwards, but I didn’t remember and neither did he so he thought he was protecting me by not telling me. After that I didn’t go out much and there was a rumor about me having a boyfriend. When he saw I was pregnant he didn’t feel it was his place to ask questions about who the father was. He inferred that it was the rumored boyfriend. After I had my daughter he noticed I was struggling and offered help. I told he what my mom told me to tell people about my daughter’s father. He said at first it was to help as a childhood friend, but he started doing more after he started seeing me as more than a friend. He knew if we started a relationship he would take in my daughter as his. I showed him my post and he understood why everyone was telling me to leave and that he truly didn’t remember doing that to me. He feels horrible and told me he wished he knew so he could have done more. He told me how his stomach sunk when he saw the results and how much guilt washed over him. He told me I had full power over this and he had no right to object. I asked him to stay with someone for a while so I could sort my thoughts. He stayed with his parents for a few days and called me daily to make sure we were okay. I recently found out I was pregnant. We decided to go to couples therapy and individual therapy. We have more than 2 kids. I feel like putting the specific number will be to many details and someone might be able to tell who we are. We are planning to staying together. I’m still in love with him and this hasn’t changed that. We are going to see if his name can go on our daughter’s birth certificate. We will tell our family the details soon. I feel like my brother will react like everyone here did. Mostly because he was against us getting married, and even though they were best friends he completely cut communications with him when we started dating. I know this wasn’t the update a lot of people were hoping for but I’m going to do what makes me happy. I’m aware I probably shouldn’t have posted this. At the time I wanted to vent and this seemed like a convenient place to do that. Thank you everyone for your concern.
I dunno if I should be happy or sad…
Honestly not even sure if I believe him
He’s still twisting things 😠
Thanks for bringing us the update
Thanks for the update update
Happy Mother's Day Mrs.rSlash, to everyone who fills a mom-like role! 😊
This celebration couldn't have been worst timed with the first story...
@@Juju2927 IKR!! I typed that before I started listening, & it hit me immediately how ill timed it was. Ugh
Not a good time for at comment
Lol yea
If you truly regret it you should probably delete your comment as it’s kinda inappropriate with the story
An alternative theory on the 2nd story is that the dad's family found out that Emily is not their biological grand-daugther. That she is an affair baby and that is one of the reasons why the parents divorced. They don't want to be associated to an affair baby that is why they wanted her cut-off from the family.
My theory on second story, Emily is an affair baby, so they blacklisted her because she's not real family
Yeah, exactly what I though too. Sadly, there's way too many cases like that.
I did not think of that one
I thought this too. Emily may think OP will abandon her if he finds out she's not his "real" sister. Of course, that still makes the adults a bunch of a holes!
Ah, that could be it! I was thinking SA, but this could be it. Either way, Em's family sux.
That was actually my first thought.
The fact that a bunch of people from that party don't remember seems to suggest someone might have spiked the drinks. The mom is crazy too.
2nd story: you deserve to know who your family REALLY is. I think you should start asking what they did to Emily.
Yo! First story has an update: basically the husband did the paternity test and found out that the daughter is his, so he didn't scam it. He told OP that she has full power in the situation and he understands why everyone in the post was telling her to leave him (she showed him the post). He's staying with his parents for the time being while OP sorts her thoughts.
He needs to be locked up, he's a predator.
@Shawna Burt you're acting absurd, more likely they were both blackout drunk or drugged and couldn't ember what happened.
Last story: OP NEEDS to know what happened, what if OP has children, they are going to want to know what happened before bringing kids over, because what happened to OP's Sister could happen to his kids, and they'd never know until it was too late.
the final story sounds like the sister had been molested or something, and she was blackmailed from even saying a word, just to protect you from disowning your father and his side of the family, and from the sounds of things the mother also seems to be in on this as well.
Hey, OP on the first OP posted an update. They did get the paternity test and it came back positive. The husband was completely surprised and even broke down. He honestly had no idea he was the father. I don’t think he was a psychopath, but they were both drunk teenagers. It seems both of them drank so much they blacked out.
Everyone seems to be neglecting the possibility that he was drugged too.
In the story about Emily I absolutely agree that her brother needs to know what happened because if somebody did our her in some way or harm her in some way and then he has a daughter one day and bring them around them without knowing that could be harmful to his child.
In the second story when he says he wishes he was a kid again that didn’t know any of this really puts “ignorance is bliss” into perspective. But I really hope that family gets what’s coming to them for what they did to Emily.
Everyone take a second and consider that you only have one side of the first story. It’s entirely possible that she genuinely did get drunk and black out, and he did the same.
This is the internet everyone will judge by the first story and forget the second one XD
true the first one could be : someone at the party tough it would be funny to lace the bowl of fruit / alcool with drugs and a lot of people acted silly, forgot what happend.
stop defending rapists and start listening to víctims. Whenever it’s a woman who has this happen everyone is so quick to defend the guy…he clearly is lying I mean she woke up in a CAR
@@kaidenr5602 looking at both sides is not defending the perpetrator. this is a thing every one does to analyze the situation. read the updates also it’s very obvious he was blackout as well because he didn’t remember anything, no guilty man would incriminate themselves further by taking a test
@@kaidenr5602 That's definitely the biggest thing stopping me from believing the husband. OP woke up *in a car with her head covered*. If that doesn't scream r***, I don't know what does
Story 1: That has got to be one of the worst SA incidents I've ever heard. He planned to SA OP for a long time, constantly hesitating before finally following through, and then he dips and gaslights OP afterwards.
And he claims to love OP. Nothing but lies, lies, and lies.
There is an update to the first story, it appears the husband truly doesn't remember and broke down after getting the results.
Either way though, rSlash, please remember one thing. You are not a psychiatrist. As such, you do not get to label someone, anyone as "a clinical psychopath". That is a diagnosis, those come from a professional only. There are a LOT of factors that play into clinical psychopathy, and from that story, the husband does not exhibit any of them, the only clues you have is what you ASSUME happened (which also isn't necessarily the truth).
So please, my man, do not presume to diagnose someone with a clinical mental illness, especially not if you are operating on mere assumptions. This isn't "not taking the easy route". This is literally above your paygrade, as reddit suggested. You do not get to make such statements.
First Story: I didn’t finish the story but how OP's then husband has been treating this kid gives off red flags. I could be wrong but something tells me OP's husband raped OP and got her pregnant. I wouldn’t act nurturing, I’d be asking questions like "who were u with last during that incident?" and stuff like that. Oh boy...I called it. Is it too late for OP to press charges for rape? Like this man got OP pregnant and OP obviously didn’t give consent (especially since she didn’t know where she was nor how she was in the car). Why is he trying to get a paternity test when he knows he is the father. This man is insane and OP needs to get away from this man. Whats the limitation to press charges on a rapist?
Second Story: I’m not going to lie, listening to this story was pissing me off. What did Emily do that caused her to basically get disowned by both sides of her family? This is reminding me of needless cliffhangers or stupid plot holes in a movie or game. The fact that no one wants to mention what she did (even though she did it as a child) leads me to believe OP's family are overreacting and being overdramatic.
Comment: I agree with that comment, something probably happened to her.
The statute of limitation is a bitch but even if it isn't up, based on this timeline he was still a minor when this happened and if I remember correctly, I think your record gets wiped when you turn 18.
That is 100% exactly what happened. She got a paternity test and the kid is his
@@zerophantomyt433damn that is bullshit 😭
The statute of limitations should be forever.
Very likely, but it depends where they are. Some places don't have a statute of limitations on it, but she still may not be able to press charges because of his age at the time. But hopefully if she's proactive about it she can work with a lawyer to build a very strong case for divorce, no custody, and no contact. I hope she realizes what she needs to do and I hope that the courts don't fail her.
ive read the update on first story. Husband couldnt remember that party properly. He supposedly was shocked and felt lot of guilt when saw paternity results and they decided to go to individual and couple therapy. guess is both were drunk/spiked and did the deed and both couldnt remember anything. So not necessary he is Rword.
Sadly, I think you are spot on with your comment to the second story. My money is on OP's sister having been SA'd again and again and again, probably by a male adult or teenager living in the same household. What follows is unfortunately all too common: when she tries to tell somebody they don't believe her and instead trust the accused abuser's account that this _little child_ for some unfathomable reason has decided to destroy the family with lies about things she should have barely a clue about at that age. It's motivated reasoning of the worst kind, adding trauma on top of trauma. OP _needs_ to learn what happened, because if this suspicion is even in the ballpark those people he doesn't want to lose contact with are _pure evil._
I called that first story from the moment he read "I don't remember how I got in the car and I was hurting."
we need more letsnotmeet content!!
I think he mostly does that around Halloween for thr spooky feelings
he used to do that a long time ago, if you want you can search for it
@@pholtom but more!
@@pholtom plus his audio is always upgrading over time
I agree
First story update, not an update I’m happy with but it’s OPs life
Update: This is my last update. After my husband got the results that he was the father he broke down and explain how he found me and how bad he felt for not protecting me. He told me how he cleaned me up and took me home. He knew in his heart he couldn’t have done that to me. He asked me about the party afterwards, but I didn’t remember and neither did he so he thought he was protecting me by not telling me. After that I didn’t go out much and there was a rumor about me having a boyfriend. When he saw I was pregnant he didn’t feel it was his place to ask questions about who the father was. He inferred that it was the rumored boyfriend. After I had my daughter he noticed I was struggling and offered help. I told he what my mom told me to tell people about my daughter’s father. He said at first it was to help as a childhood friend, but he started doing more after he started seeing me as more than a friend. He knew if we started a relationship he would take in my daughter as his. I showed him my post and he understood why everyone was telling me to leave and that he truly didn’t remember doing that to me. He feels horrible and told me he wished he knew so he could have done more. He told me how his stomach sunk when he saw the results and how much guilt washed over him. He told me I had full power over this and he had no right to object. I asked him to stay with someone for a while so I could sort my thoughts. He stayed with his parents for a few days and called me daily to make sure we were okay. I recently found out I was pregnant. We decided to go to couples therapy and individual therapy. We have more than 2 kids. I feel like putting the specific number will be to many details and someone might be able to tell who we are. We are planning to staying together. I’m still in love with him and this hasn’t changed that. We are going to see if his name can go on our daughter’s birth certificate. We will tell our family the details soon. I feel like my brother will react like everyone here did. Mostly because he was against us getting married, and even though they were best friends he completely cut communications with him when we started dating. I know this wasn’t the update a lot of people were hoping for but I’m going to do what makes me happy. I’m aware I probably shouldn’t have posted this. At the time I wanted to vent and this seemed like a convenient place to do that. Thank you everyone for your concern.
The last story hits hard because i too was disbelieved, was given no support, and through the emotional abandonment was left with BPD as a permanent scar to be a constant reminder as to what my family did to hide the inconvenient truth.
First story sounds like 2 teens who got blackout drunk
This might be an unpopular opinion but if the people in the first story were close friends and they were out partying and doing drugs it is very possible that something happened between them and that neither one of them remember. An ex friend of mine and I got blackout drunk one night and woke up in bed next to each other. It was obvious things that happened neither one of us had any memory of it. I feel this way because once they got into a relationship they did not sleep together also he volunteered to go take a DNA test I don't feel like he knows it's his child. I have friends who have come around and treated my daughter like their own and done things I've never asked them to do. I just think people are jumping to conclusions and there's not enough details.
Yeah, but leaving out the last part of the story and arbitrarily declaring him a psychopath for a clickbaity title gets way more views... Hell, it doesn't even need drugs. Alcohol alone is more than enough to cause memory loss, especially as they were both in their mid-teens.
@@JustAnotherBuckyLover worst part is over half the listeners are too stupid to have their own critical thinking and just agree with what rslash thinks
@MinusTheCoffee I agree with ypu, and this bad take, ots such a jump to conclusions, he'll its not a jump its flying to them at light speed, that it's honestly enough for me to unsub from r/
He literally is saying oooo I don’t remember even tho she was younger and was put in a car-stop defending the man like everyone always does
Story 1-Its horrible what happened to her. However, Rslash is too fast to blame the husband. Need more information. If he was also drugged "a lot of people don't remember that party" sounds like someone laced something. You can assume it was the husband. Both need therapy and counseling
Last story. Absolutely someone did something to the sister. The behaviour he described, lashing out and all that can be associated with prolonged abuse.
Oh god
Story 3: I was thinking the whole time "She was r4p3d, she was touched, there's no way it's not this"
I'm pretty sure THIS is what happened and the reason her father stopped picking her up is because it was either him or one of his brothers (or sisters)!
OP PLEASE TALK TO HER PLEASE!!!!
“she’s 13! She needs your help! Not your scorn!”
Thank you. That’s unconditional love right there! Keep talking like this, and maybe more people will share your perspective.
Story 2: The next time you show up to your dad’s family, while you’re all eating cuz it’ll be harder to hide if the bail, say: “Look, I’ve been thinking, and the only justifiable reasons i can think of to cut someone off as young as you did my sister would all result in my sister no longer living with me one way or another. And to be honest, with your eternal refusal to even talk it out, I’m starting to think the *real* reason she’s banished is that you’re all just bad people. I mean, what on earth could a 10 year old POSSIBLY do to earn *banishment?*
You will probably be banished as well, but TBH: your family see banishments as an acceptable option, you’re better off without them.
Cuz even if they aren’t covering for a rapist, that doesn’t change what we’ve noted about how there aren’t many things on the list of “good reasons to ex-communicate a child”that overlap with the list of “actions 10 year olds are capable of doing.”
I hope we can keep an eye on both these stories for future updates. Especially for story 2. I hope the brother can be the big bro that he is and CONFRONT his dad side of the family. It’s unfair how they treated his sister and victim blamed her for all those years.
because of the final update in the first story (rslash didn’t read it) i think this is more of a case of the drinks being spiked at the source and two teenagers who were drugged and effectively raped each other/no rape at all
The only thing he was "saving himself for" was the truth being found out.
There was an update to this thread.
First Story: When OP mentioned her "now husband" was in college when her child was born (at 15yo), I already knew something was sketchy. However, I guess I was thinking US standards and if he was only 17-18, I guess that was UK standards? But either way, it was absolutely so weird that the second her daughter was born, he started taking immediate interest. Then dating the moment she turned 18 (from the sounds of it) and marrying her as soon as he's *finished* college? All bright red flags!
I hope OP gets out, gets a therapist, and figures out what the hell was going on! She never does mention alcohol, but it seems her "now husband" was claiming there was alcohol if he vomited on his pants and claims everyone from that party was blackout. A less likely but far more horrifying alternative is he drugged OP by just drugging an entire punch bowl/drink dispenser, though that would also help reduce the amount of people who could witness his vial actions if there wasn't any alcohol present. It's still unclear, but because of the way OP frames the story, even if there was alcohol at the parties, she never mentions drinking any herself, so I agree with RSlash that this psychopath probably repeated drugged her.
Thats auto assumptions based on gender, going by updates it could be both were drunk/drugged he woke up and saw a girl there maybe even realised it was her and still drunk/drugged was on auto pilot, then when he found out she was pregnant he may of panicked and guessed he was the father so stepped in. Crazy but can happen.
I’ve been a faithful listener for years now. Obviously the content you choose is always great - quite frankly I enjoy experiencing your genuine reactions as you read through every piece as much as I enjoy the content. Today’s topics caused me to loudly express my own feelings/opinions as you went along. I couldn’t honestly say when the last time I yelled along that loudly to hearing tales that others are going through. Don’t get me wrong, it was VERY cathartic to yell. Even if I did cause the cats to flee the kitchen lol
Due to a new update on the first story i have a feeling that not only was OP drunk and possibly drugged to the point of black out but so was the husband and never actually knew.
Its such a strange story and idk what to think.
It's also possible that Emily was born from an affair. It doesn't justify her treatment but it could explain it
They wouldnt be hush hush about akid not related to them.
Then what's with all the hush-hush?
i found the most recent update and Emily is apparebntly like a carbon copy of her dad, so thats not it
@Hi It's Cupid can you send a link? I can't find this user on reddit.
@@hiitscupid3504 Is the post still up? I can't find it by username.
I had a theory that a bunch of people were probably drugged at the party(ies) unknowingly. And it looks like my theory is validated by comments below that the OP updated.
It really does seem like a bad case of someone did something stupid and it went horribly wrong for everyone else.
Story 2: there is no excuse for what they did to Emily. I might just have slapped the information out of my dad
I would have gone up to grandma when grandpa wasn't home and just started screaming WHO R*PED EMILY? WHO R*PED EMILY? WHO R*PED EMILY? until she caved.
**STORY 1 FINAL UPDATE**: This is my last update. After my husband got the results that he was the father he broke down and explain how he found me and how bad he felt for not protecting me. He told me how he cleaned me up and took me home. He knew in his heart he couldn’t have done that to me. He asked me about the party afterwards, but I didn’t remember and neither did he so he thought he was protecting me by not telling me. After that I didn’t go out much and there was a rumor about me having a boyfriend. When he saw I was pregnant he didn’t feel it was his place to ask questions about who the father was. He inferred that it was the rumored boyfriend. After I had my daughter he noticed I was struggling and offered help. I told he what my mom told me to tell people about my daughter’s father. He said at first it was to help as a childhood friend, but he started doing more after he started seeing me as more than a friend. He knew if we started a relationship he would take in my daughter as his. I showed him my post and he understood why everyone was telling me to leave and that he truly didn’t remember doing that to me. He feels horrible and told me he wished he knew so he could have done more. He told me how his stomach sunk when he saw the results and how much guilt washed over him. He told me I had full power over this and he had no right to object. I asked him to stay with someone for a while so I could sort my thoughts. He stayed with his parents for a few days and called me daily to make sure we were okay. I recently found out I was pregnant. We decided to go to couples therapy and individual therapy. We have more than 2 kids. I feel like putting the specific number will be to many details and someone might be able to tell who we are. We are planning to staying together. I’m still in love with him and this hasn’t changed that. We are going to see if his name can go on our daughter’s birth certificate. We will tell our family the details soon. I feel like my brother will react like everyone here did. Mostly because he was against us getting married, and even though they were best friends he completely cut communications with him when we started dating. I know this wasn’t the update a lot of people were hoping for but I’m going to do what makes me happy. I’m aware I probably shouldn’t have posted this. At the time I wanted to vent and this seemed like a convenient place to do that. Thank you everyone for your concern.
Jesus that’s terrifying, especially because OP’s brother was so against it and he’s probably the one who knows this man the best.
Op posted a final update on the first story:
"Update: This is my last update. After my husband got the results that he was the father he broke down and explain how he found me and how bad he felt for not protecting me. He told me how he cleaned me up and took me home. He knew in his heart he couldn’t have done that to me. He asked me about the party afterwards, but I didn’t remember and neither did he so he thought he was protecting me by not telling me. After that I didn’t go out much and there was a rumor about me having a boyfriend. When he saw I was pregnant he didn’t feel it was his place to ask questions about who the father was. He inferred that it was the rumored boyfriend. After I had my daughter he noticed I was struggling and offered help. I told he what my mom told me to tell people about my daughter’s father. He said at first it was to help as a childhood friend, but he started doing more after he started seeing me as more than a friend. He knew if we started a relationship he would take in my daughter as his. I showed him my post and he understood why everyone was telling me to leave and that he truly didn’t remember doing that to me. He feels horrible and told me he wished he knew so he could have done more. He told me how his stomach sunk when he saw the results and how much guilt washed over him. He told me I had full power over this and he had no right to object. I asked him to stay with someone for a while so I could sort my thoughts. He stayed with his parents for a few days and called me daily to make sure we were okay. I recently found out I was pregnant. We decided to go to couples therapy and individual therapy. We have more than 2 kids. I feel like putting the specific number will be to many details and someone might be able to tell who we are. We are planning to staying together. I’m still in love with him and this hasn’t changed that. We are going to see if his name can go on our daughter’s birth certificate. We will tell our family the details soon. I feel like my brother will react like everyone here did. Mostly because he was against us getting married, and even though they were best friends he completely cut communications with him when we started dating. I know this wasn’t the update a lot of people were hoping for but I’m going to do what makes me happy. I’m aware I probably shouldn’t have posted this. At the time I wanted to vent and this seemed like a convenient place to do that. Thank you everyone for your concern."
Information for the Second Story!
EDIT: This is a way bigger response than I expected. Thank you everyone who took the time to respond, and trust, I am reading all the comments, but in the meantime l'Il address some of the points that keep coming up repeatedly:
I REALLY hope that CSA is not the cause of all this, but if it is, I want to know so I can go scorched earth on the whole family. Fuck that.
The only thing making me doubt the CSA possibility at all is that I'm certain that if my sister was SA'd, our mom would have treated her even worse than she has.
Em is absolutely our dad's child. She looks like a gender swapped clone of him
I have no idea if Em is gay, bi, curious, or anything. She's never dated. She's never even had a friend. When we were little, before the family BS, she'd try to hang out/play with our cousins near her age, classmates, or neighbour kids, but they always either ditched her or attacked her pretty much immediately. She never socialized at all in high school and still doesn't.
Yes, we're both aware our mom is an abusive POS. We have our own ways of coping with her BS and I'm saving up to move out.
Unfortunately Em refuses to consider moving out because she's convinced she's incapable of living independently despite holding a full-time job for over 5 years now (Em being "r*t*rded" and incompetent is another one of our mom's longtime talking points)
Related, Em WILL NOT EVER go to therapy. I've suggested it a bunch of times as an option to help her gain the confidence to move out of mom's, and she shuts it down every time.
I might have another way of finding out what happened or at least getting an idea of it, since Em won't say anything. I'm thinking two of my cousins might have heard something because they used to live in our grandma's house.
can u post the link for the second story? i cannot find it at all on reddit rn ^^
Post link
"She's never dated. She's never even had a friend... She never socialized at all in high school and still doesn't."
This part of the update right there screams that Emily suffered CSA from one of her dad's family members (or by dad himself).
Something similar happened to me as a child and I too got in trouble for trying to say what that family member was doing to me. And yeah, it's apparently a pretty common reaction to grow up and have difficulty forming healthy relationships, of any type, after that. The problem is compounded especially after suffering the double betrayal of not just having someone harm you in that way but also having the people who are supposed to love you and protect you instead punish you for being the victim of that type of harm.
I hope Emily finds the support she needs to heal and move forward in her life (e.g. a good therapist, when she is ready to talk to one). I'm very happy that she, at least, has OP on her side.
The last story OP has every right to know, what if he has kids one day, and brings them around that family member. If something happened he'd never forgive himself.
Not only is it really telling that the excluded a child from their family, that even after all this time their still so afraid of it getting out that they haven't told op.
You don't usually push away children who lie, you push away children telling the truth you don't wanna hear.
On story one, its been said as replies to other comments and Rslash's vad habbit to railroad hard once a thought is in his head seems to have caused him to miss something huge
MULTIPLE PEOPLE AT THESE PARTIES CANT REMEMBER THINGS, and since it was a small town the same folks would be coming arround each other one after another. Also yhe story he told is one that paints himself in a suspicous light from the start, and his willingness to take a test casts doubt on him being this master mind plotting to get what he wants.
The whole thing is high above Reddit's payfrade, and so serious that jumping to one beleif or another is unwise.
On the Emily story.... the fact that NO ONE will speak of it, yet will allow OP to keep up a relationship with her instead of warning OP off due to how "terrible" she supposedly is... that makes me super suspicious. It makes me think that the secret they value most is something they don't want OP to know, like oh say, that Emily accused one of THEM of terrible things. Makes me wonder if the family doesn't want a now full grown adult OP to take up the cause, because OP clearly has willpower and they want Emily to feel alone and powerless.
i feel like in the second story OP deserves to know what happened simply because he needs to be able to make an informed decision on how to go forward with his family members and if he needs to reconsider relationships with them
I'm 100% certain that something really horrible happened to Emily, and the family is covering it up/blaming her for what happened. She's probably afraid that if she tells you she'll lose her only brother too and/or you won't believe her either.
So I think the first story, especially with it's updates, really sounds less like he intentionally did the crime and more like he got smashed. Just because the OP doesn't state she was getting black-out drunk doesn't mean anything and she very well could be omitting that fact. It was a party, heavy drinking was likely involved, and to me it looks like the two got so drunk they did the deed and neither of them remembered while just happening to also fall in love with each other later down the line. It's a bizarre situation for sure but weirder things have happened so it wouldn't surprise me. I also feel like R/ here kinda let himself be blinded to all possibilities here when reading the story, because to me as an outsider it just sounds like he did something dumb while drunk, not that he went out of his way and committed premeditated rape.
I can't believe it took him that long to figure it out for the first one and the family drama one the fact that they were uncomfortable SCREAMS that something happened to her and they got upset at her for talking about it which is crazy even my family of assholes say that if you're a child you can redeem yourself if you fuck up and after 18 you should no better so there's no way to be forgiven for fucking up that sucks for her and op no one should blame a child for something they way they are
This episode was heavy, man…
I hope there’s something more upbeat tomorrow.
Story 3: Sounds like what happened I’m my parents families…an uncle went too far and rather than banish the dude, they wanted the kids to clam up and just present a loving family. Cutting that side of the family off is definitely on the table.
The second story something similar kind of happened to me when I was 13 and I told my mom that my cousin had sexually harassed me for three years when I was six until I was nine and I ended up telling one of my aunts that this happened and she ended up making excuses for the person that did this to me and I said I don’t care. He knew what he was doing was wrong or he wouldn’t of hit it and they still ended up defending him so I cut them off.
Damn that second story was triggering.
I was 12 when i was kicked out of my dads side of the family. My memory before that (and honestly until around 16-17) is really patchy and though i don't have a diagnosis, i have PTSD like sypmtoms surrounding that part of my life. I can't even see my father or step mum, or even see their names written down without going into fight or flight mode (which is really difficult considering her first initial and last name is the same as a stationary brand)
That story felt really trippy, like i was seeing me from my brothers perspective. He was always treated kindly and they were good parents to him, but apparently i wasn't good enough.
At the middle of the party child story, i was absolutely sure that the husband was a rpist. After he suggested a paternity test it seems that if he may actually not remember the night either. Its very likely that someone spiked the entire party. If it was in the earlier 2000s or before, it would probably be more likely because it wasnt as recignised until later. Im not excusing the chances that it couldve been premeditated, or even spur of the moment, but it may also go that direction too. If i were op id try to find others at the party too and ask their experiences. Please dont bash me in the replies, if you want to reply make it civil.
The charity alternative for the first story is that someone else spiked the communal punch and he was spiked too.
But also very likely that he premeditated to get his dream girl
Hey R/, I hope you’re having a great Mother’s Day spent with your wife and daughter!
Story 2: The only other thing I can think of is self-harm…
Some ultra religious families basically disown their children if the think of or act those thoughts.
But needless to say OP’s sister should not have been treated that way for all these years.
I hope that first story gets an update... ANY update just so we know OP's still alive!
There is an update: Update: This is my last update. After my husband got the results that he was the father he broke down and explain how he found me and how bad he felt for not protecting me. He told me how he cleaned me up and took me home. He knew in his heart he couldn’t have done that to me. He asked me about the party afterwards, but I didn’t remember and neither did he so he thought he was protecting me by not telling me. After that I didn’t go out much and there was a rumor about me having a boyfriend. When he saw I was pregnant he didn’t feel it was his place to ask questions about who the father was. He inferred that it was the rumored boyfriend. After I had my daughter he noticed I was struggling and offered help. I told he what my mom told me to tell people about my daughter’s father. He said at first it was to help as a childhood friend, but he started doing more after he started seeing me as more than a friend. He knew if we started a relationship he would take in my daughter as his. I showed him my post and he understood why everyone was telling me to leave and that he truly didn’t remember doing that to me. He feels horrible and told me he wished he knew so he could have done more. He told me how his stomach sunk when he saw the results and how much guilt washed over him. He told me I had full power over this and he had no right to object. I asked him to stay with someone for a while so I could sort my thoughts. He stayed with his parents for a few days and called me daily to make sure we were okay. I recently found out I was pregnant. We decided to go to couples therapy and individual therapy. We have more than 2 kids. I feel like putting the specific number will be to many details and someone might be able to tell who we are. We are planning to staying together. I’m still in love with him and this hasn’t changed that. We are going to see if his name can go on our daughter’s birth certificate. We will tell our family the details soon. I feel like my brother will react like everyone here did. Mostly because he was against us getting married, and even though they were best friends he completely cut communications with him when we started dating. I know this wasn’t the update a lot of people were hoping for but I’m going to do what makes me happy. I’m aware I probably shouldn’t have posted this. At the time I wanted to vent and this seemed like a convenient place to do that. Thank you everyone for your concern.
@@scpfoundation8376 well, at least she's still alive and... apparently well I guess...
Story one, has anyone considered that the drinks at that last party OP attended, could have been spiked with an unknown substance. And the reason not many people don’t remember much from that night, is that they were all under the influence of said drug.
Yoooo that first story was dark like my cup of coffee this morning
@2:47 The best reaction I've heard from the narrator lol
The way he said "whomever got you to stop partying"
Hes proud
Because he thought she partied too much
RUN
Holy sh*t RUN
Wow, your argumentaton is as straight as a Flatearthers...
"Gotcha, you said, what I interpret as you proving me" isn't actually prove~
First story: When people say they were partying in high school, drinking and drugs are almost always involved. The guy didn't r-word her. They were drunk, and neither remembered it. Please don't jump to conclusions, Rslash.
Sometimes these stories are extremely hard to listen to, even with Rslash telling them. I hope the woman in the first story and Emily in the second story get all the love and support they deserve.
Can we fet update videos where rSlash goes through controversial post and takes he's had in the past and discusses the post and comments? This story in particular is one I really want him to go back too and look at again
First story has a final update and oh my god
“This is my last update. After my husband got the results that he was the father he broke down and explain how he found me and how bad he felt for not protecting me. He told me how he cleaned me up and took me home. He knew in his heart he couldn’t have done that to me. He asked me about the party afterwards, but I didn’t remember and neither did he so he thought he was protecting me by not telling me. After that I didn’t go out much and there was a rumor about me having a boyfriend. When he saw I was pregnant he didn’t feel it was his place to ask questions about who the father was. He inferred that it was the rumored boyfriend. After I had my daughter he noticed I was struggling and offered help. I told he what my mom told me to tell people about my daughter’s father. He said at first it was to help as a childhood friend, but he started doing more after he started seeing me as more than a friend. He knew if we started a relationship he would take in my daughter as his. I showed him my post and he understood why everyone was telling me to leave and that he truly didn’t remember doing that to me. He feels horrible and told me he wished he knew so he could have done more. He told me how his stomach sunk when he saw the results and how much guilt washed over him. He told me I had full power over this and he had no right to object. I asked him to stay with someone for a while so I could sort my thoughts. He stayed with his parents for a few days and called me daily to make sure we were okay. I recently found out I was pregnant. We decided to go to couples therapy and individual therapy. We have more than 2 kids. I feel like putting the specific number will be to many details and someone might be able to tell who we are. We are planning to staying together. I’m still in love with him and this hasn’t changed that. We are going to see if his name can go on our daughter’s birth certificate. We will tell our family the details soon. I feel like my brother will react like everyone here did. Mostly because he was against us getting married, and even though they were best friends he completely cut communications with him when we started dating. I know this wasn’t the update a lot of people were hoping for but I’m going to do what makes me happy. I’m aware I probably shouldn’t have posted this. At the time I wanted to vent and this seemed like a convenient place to do that. Thank you everyone for your concern.”
RSlash I suggest you check OP's update, that might change your perspective on the guy being a psycho.
Something tells me that if we ask OP if there was a punch from where everyone was drinking then someone spiked everyone in that party, and by the looks of it both OP and her husband may have been victims.
I will start with this.
I have a son, he is not my biological child, But I am his father. I am his dad. And I will not take being called a "step dad."
His Biological father is a sperm donor and a rapist, because he got the mother high on meth and drunk, then took advantage of her.
I have been in his life since he was 3 months old.
I never knew his mother before hand, so there is literally no chance of him being my biological child.
Now for the first story.
There is the chance that he was so black out drunk/ high that he honestly doesn't remember doing anything.
But there is also the chance that he really did drug and assault her.
There really isn't enough information. There is a lot of evidence that there is more going on.
I think he does remember what happened to an extent, that's why he started staying around after the daughter was born.
But as a person who was accused of rape without having actually doing it, I will say there needs to be evidence.
She needs to get some people in the house when she confronts him about the results of the DNA test. Make sure she has a backup incase he flips out.
I think he is going to break down, he is going to apologize and probably do everything to make up for it.
That's if he doesn't try to fake the results of "his" test.
For the first story, OP did post an update. They got the paternity test done, and her husband broke down when he saw the results. He honestly had no idea that he did that.
@@warrenrhinerson6373 Where?
@@Kendalon I typed the name of the post into Google. Plus someone copied the text of the update into the comment section here on TH-cam.
@@warrenrhinerson6373 I found it, yeah.
Teenage parties get stupid if drugs and alcohol are involve.
A psychopath would rig the paternity test or refuse to take it to begin with. I should know, i was trapped by one for 10 years. They don't create a happy family with their victims. They escalate. Ppl calling him a psychopath have only seen them in movies and their ignorance is speaking.
Story 2: If the family is THAT reluctant to actually explain, then it must be bad. Honestly, OP should just leave them, it's a lost cause.
First story especially with the final update OP posted, I think that it’s very possible that the husband was blackout drunk and doesn’t remember what happened. It seems very complicated and for both of their sakes I’m hoping it was not the worst case scenario
The first story is extremely complicated and it all comes down to how much OP trusts her husband. Unfortunately things can happen where two people get blackout drunk at a high school party, and they have sex, and neither remembers what happened. In the eyes of the law, consent is very straight forward. But when neither of the people involved in the passionate hugging are legally able to consent because they’re both drunk… what happens then? Does it become that they SA-Ed each other? Or do they accept that fate and move on? I heard Markee read this story(it was either Markee or his friend Connor on his second channel) and ever since then I couldn’t wrap my head around what happened entirely. A lot of people are on Rslash’s side, where they believe the husband is lying and he was sober enough to consent and he took her consent away from her, but there’s also a huge chunk on the other side where they believe the husband isn’t lying and both individuals were blackout drunk and they had sloppy drunk sex… I am on the believing the husband side… but listening to Rslash, I’m not entirely stable on this side. It’s a complicated story that will require a lot of therapy.
Same. I think to jump right to the “he’s a psychopath!” conclusion is to absolutely ignore all possible nuance. And the update rSlash didn’t read shows this too.
@@Tustin2121 rSlash's take generates more clickbaity headlines though... he is somewhat prone to black-and-white hot takes.
The other thing, and this happened in my family, is that the girl in our family made inappropriate actions toward another child in the family. There were videos and internet searches and proof of her actions, but she refused to go to therapy, and the other child was terrified to go any sort of family functions if she was there. So, she was uninvited from that side of the family and that was how it was handled. To this day, at the age of 39, she refuses to admit that what she did was wrong.
Story 1 : soooooo many redflags early on and op just up and ignored them.. really weird..
Story 2 : FFS op just freaking ask Emily what happened..it's obvious that your dad's family are full of tweety bird donkeys ( best insult without a cuss I could come up with).. FFS be Emily brother and side with her..
I'd chalk it up to willful ignorance or actual stupidity
@@eyeccantseeyouumaybe your right..
She was 15 in the beginning of the first one, she might not have noticed the red flags sadly
@@pearlthenephilim you maybe right... I did so many dumb things when I was 15.. op needs to pull a houidini and bolt..
@@thetruth1816 Agreed
Last story: I thought Emily was not the dad's daughter, like the mom cheated.
Because in what kinda scenario will the dad himself distance his daughter in that way
that sounds plausible
one more explanation for the final story could be that OP's mom cheated and Emily is not related to their dad's side of the family (unless OP and Emily are twins and I missed that part in the vid). The family are still absolute mosters for cutting Emily out the way they did, but it would explain the mom's reaction and why it's only the dad's family that's cutting her out.
If that's the case, is it really that wrong to cut her out
@blood onyx Okami yes, yes it is. It isn't her fault if she's an affair baby. That's just petty on that family's part. Punishing a child for anything out of their control is detestable
@@LetItRoll97 but she's not part of their family. Why do they have to act like everything is peachy when it isn't
@@insertedgynamehere Because it's an adult's job to care for a child's well being to the best of their ability. It costs nothing emotionally to be kind to a child, especially one who has done nothing wrong
@@LetItRoll97 yes, that child's family, which they are not. It's not necessary for them to include her.
The first story: I... Might be missing something, but he's taking the initiative to get a paternity test, why would he rush to get that done if he did do that to her?
Exactly. But a title based on two teenagers getting blackout drunk at a party, forgetting they had sex, and then ending up together because they both actually liked each other in the first place is far less pearl-clutching, view-generating than a clickbaity one where Dabney, NOT a psychologist in any respect, declares him a psychopath while leaving out the last update. The one that clarifies he DID go ahead with the test, and was utterly distraught to find out he was the father, is wracked with guilt, left at her behest and said he understood if she never wanted to see him again, and why everyone would jump to the conclusion that he knew all along, and that they were both undergoing individual and couples therapy to figure things out as she was pregnant (and they already have other kids together too).
@@JustAnotherBuckyLover ahhh, thank you very much, I'm glad I caught that, I know Dabney or any other reddit story reader is not a stranger to poor takes or missing updates when filming so it was probably just lost in the writing and everything haha! Let's hope he finds that update at some point