I actually pity the last OP. She was repeatedly SA’d as a child, and by her own damn grandfather no less! But no one ever acknowledged it, or even validated to her that what her grandfather was doing to her was SUPER wrong. This led to OP downplaying her own trauma and the actions of her son because in her mind, “I don’t understand why everyone is so upset about this. No one ever made a big fuss about it when it happened to me, so surely it can’t be that big of a deal now and they’re all just overreacting, right?” It’s actually really sad to see how SA trauma can affect multiple generations even if it’s not intentional. I hope OP can have a sit down with her daughter and explain to her what happened when she was a child, not to excuse her actions but rather to explain why she acted that way. Opening up about that trauma may help mend the relationship.
Yes, at one time, this sort of thing was just swept under the rug. Parents did sometimes try to prevent it, but it was usually considered the price of having someone to keep the kids out of their way. Glad we've moved on.
@@curtistic5724 no we havent? I was born 1991, when I was 3 I was SA by my mums "adoptive" brother (my nanny was a woman who had helped my mum when she was 16 escape her bio dad who was raping her since she was 6 and my mum called her her adopted mum) And my mum swept it under the rug, when I was 12 my cousin did the same thing and because he came out as gay at 17 everyone excused what he did as "struggling with his sexuality and teen boys do that sort of thing" When my sister was raped by her supposed best friend when she was 8 (she was born 2000) that was also swept under the rug by police, his mother, the court system in the uk, my mother and family and friends. When I was raped by my adopted brothers best friend when I was 14, I was stood on the doorstep to my mothers (she had kicked me out, long story of narcissistic sociopath mother and abuse) with a police officer and my mother told me I deserved it and shut the door in my face. I'm 32 now and she still denys that happened and sweeps it under the rug. When my most recent ex was raping and abusing me multiple times a day every day for nearly a decade police, hospital staff, my family, his family, my "friends", his friends, my GP, my therapist all swept it under the rug and told me it was no big deal and to get over it, sleep in separate beds or break up with him. I was being emotionally, mentally, physically, financially and sexually abused by this man. I was also wheelchair bound at the time and he took away my chair and broke it, hid my walking stick and crutches and I was trapped in the house unless it suited him. I was still told it was no big deal and to get over it. Just because we are more self aware and its 2023 does not mean survivors like myself get supported and people defend us, if anything, sweeping it under the rug is happening more now
This is why I advocate so strongly for therapy. If you (not you specifically, but "you" in a general sense) let yourself be open to it, a good therapist will guide you through all your past experiences until you find the ones that have shaped you, for better or worse, and with that knowledge, you can work out the best path toward healing. Therapy is finally starting to get rid of the stigma the boomer generation attached to it, and it's such a great thing to see. But there's still a long way to go yet.
I think Rslash doesn’t realize there are tons of reddit TH-cam channels and his is the most successful because he has a very structured dialogue, a very pleasant reading speed, his enunciation and intonation is on point, among other things and I really do believe an English degree and MD helped him achieve this very professional and well thought analysis of things he reads online.
Tricky this one. I‘ve tried telling them and not telling them. I‘ve found the best way is to not directly say that you‘re wealthy and never say how wealthy, but just make them aware early int the relationship that you did grow up somewhat privileged while not making a big deal out of it. Then watch if their behavior changes. If their behavior doesn’t change, great. If they start getting unusually curious about the specifics of your families wealth or start expecting you to spend more that‘s a reason to be very careful.
1st story: "He told me I was leaving him because he was poor." In a way, I guess he's not completely wrong. OP is leaving him because of his poor attitude. And, for the sake of clarity, by "poor attitude" I mean "rude attitude". That's probably obvious but just in case lol.
I thought you were going to say in another tone that she is a spoiled brat. Man, I feel bad for op she had done nothing wrong. To me, I wouldn't care because she isn't acting like a spoiled brat like, yeah, I would be shocked, but I wouldn't go bashing her it is her business she can tell me when the time is right.
@@swector_unit4257 nah cuz I don't think she's a spoiled brat. From what we heard, OP didn't do anything wrong. Bringing up the topic herself would come off as bragging, and starting conversations with being well off financially would attract people who only want her money. Keeping it to herself is a good idea imo. She might've been spoiled, but the only brat here is OP's ex lol.
@@Fran10969 fully agree, it sounds like she’s responsible, understands the value of money, doesn’t flash money around, she’s respectable and mature. He couldn’t handle having a mature conversation, he instead demeaned her in front of others, he was aggressively rude, he tried to make her feel horrible for something she doesn’t even control, all because he couldn’t sit down and have a mature conversation. He’s just a brat, and she’s much better off without someone so hateful
Story 1: Some of the comments on reddit say she should have told him she was rich. How would she know if he liked her or her money? I'm glad she broke up with him. Story 3: As their mother, you should be pissed at your son for being a pervert. Your daughter's right. You're the type of mother that says..."Boys will be boys." Damn lady, do better!
@@CatCheshire I'd be willing to bet a lot of money I don't actually have that a significant portion of the "boys will be boys" people have had similar experiences. Not okay. I'm glad OP faced up to her trauma and internalized misogyny, and I wish more people would.
Story 1: Dating exclusively rich people doesn’t mean you seek out rich people. If for all your life you went to an expensive boarding school went to a posh university ect you’d interact exclusively with rich people and that’s just circumstantial so I’d defend OP on this point cause she could’ve genuinely not thought about it cause that’s just what they’ve been exposed to. Same kinda vibe if i say lived in the UK and I’ve only dated English people but no Scottish or Welsh. That could be just cause of who I’m exposed to on a daily basis
Exactly!!! People from different social classes tend to(ETA) NOT gravitate around the same stuff, especially in the formative years, because duh, they are living the life *their parents* can afford for them. And tbh some parents actually want this because they think people in a different social class are worse than them, for a variety of bs reasons.
The thing that bothers me about this first story is that OP completely forgot to check her privilege when introducing her bf to her family and assumed it wouldn't be a big deal. Maybe she didn't hide her family's wealth intentionally, but if it never came up in EIGHT MONTHS of dating, she was still hiding it by not saying anything. And yet she says her parents taught her to "keep my privilege in mind when interacting with people." She was absolutely right to dump this douchebag, but imho she needed a little bit of a reality check. I hope the next person she dates is a better partner for her, and I hope this dude grows tf up.
@@SpaceAuddity93 I've been called rich and spoiled and I'm middle class and not even higher at that. With some people you can't win and saying it's her fault for not knowing what she had no chance to learn is asinine.
There was nothing to say. Op and bf both live from their own salaries which are about 130k a year, but he decided that makes him poor because, I guess, she stands to inherit more in the future. He is a complete moron.
@@SpruceOaks yes it's ego. Either he's mad a woman has more money than him. Or he wants to misuse her for her money and is trying to gaslight her into compliance. It's abusive and egotistical. But OP didn't fall for it and dumped his ass thankfully
this is more of an assumption but i reckon that the reason why is because of his life growing up as he was only seeing her for 8 months but i think because he's used to seeing the world with a lot more financial and social struggle compared to OP, it created more jealousy than a realisation of 'hey i can have a more comfortable life than what im used to'
Rslash is a bit harsh on OP in the first story for the fact she hung out mostly with people in her "social class." She probably went to private school and hung out with the children of her parents' friends before she became an adult, so she can hardly be blamed for whom she socialized during her formative years. Clearly, she's broadening her social circle as an independent adult (as can be seen by the fact that her boyfriend was taken aback by her family's affluence once he was exposed to it). Rich or poor, we tend to believe that what we grew up with is "normal" until we start broadening our horizons. It shouldn't have mattered to her boyfriend, but he obviously was threatened or insecure in some way over her family's wealth. It was a fairly new relationship, so no big loss on OP's part...she did the right thing by moving on.
She was oblivious, her life was her normal and didnt realize how her families finances and life would be alien to others. Not really a bad thing for her His handling still makes him the bad guy.
He wasn’t being harsh. He just told her that her privilege was showing and it was. She wasn’t malicious or mean or anything just oblivious to her privilege
Remember, we're only getting one side of the story. It wouldn't surprise me to hear that the BF's insecurity came from (or was at least largely fueled by) comments she had made at some point. I'm not saying the comments were necessarily targeted at him or intended to be derogatory, they were likely made due to her being oblivious to her own privilege. The fact that she doesn't know how to cook speaks volumes to this.
I’m glad that the last OP saw the depths of her mistake and realized that she was abused as a child and that she’s getting help for both herself and her son.
Yep! Hopefully theres still time for the son. I met a lot of guys who genuinely did not think what they were doing was SA. Because boys are thaught that they need to "conquer" the girls, that they need to be the alpha, that groping, cat calling, touching without consent its all just flirting. And this is not only for boys! I was SA and at that time I thought "its not like they r*ped me, so I guess I shouldnt complain", so I kinda understand what OP is going through, and Im just glad that she is now realizing that the way she was treated was not ok, it was not just touching, it was not just her grandfathers personality, it was plain SA.
For the first story. She wasn't showing her privilege by saying she only dated only rich guys. Imagine it, she grew up in a rich community, and there are only rich boys/ around her, her only option. Now, after her education and only living by her means, of course, she's making less and would have to live in a community of her "new" means. Now, her only opportunity living in that community are lesser paid men.
... and she grew up in a rich community because of her privilege. It’s not nocking down OP in any way, just pointing out the privilege we so easily perceive as rights or excuses.
@@edalynclawthorne5877 @Kt Rose It's her truth, not her privilege. She was forced to talk about her parents wealth. She wasn't boasting or being a brat as some rich people can and will. She was explaining as one only could do about something so unfair.
@@danmancino22 he admitted that times have changed. Yes, some degrees r bs and r a waste of time. I'm a firm believer of finding something that 1. U like and 2. Is functional Ok. I'm this heated up because u should hear the arguments my dad and I had when it came to me job hunting. He remembers being 11 and working at a dance hall bussing. And every job after that was he walked in, asked, and started the next day. Times have changed since he was working for a place and not self-employed
She said all her previous relationships were people in her social circle. You seem to have misinterpreted that to mean "I only socialize with rich people at all time's" when what it actually means is "I go to a lot of the parties and functions my parents get invited too and thats just how I met my previous boyfriends.". Like the boyfriend, you were kinda letting your own bias get in the way.
He does this really often and it makes videos like this really difficult to listen to. Like bro, just calm tf down. Obviously that’s not what happened, so stop reaching to make innocent people look bad to a certain degree.
I'm glad rSlash backtracked on the English degrees thing. My sister's English degree allowed her to get her current job that pays well and sent her to Comicon last year for a work trip. English degrees aren't useless. It depends on what you do with it.
I have an English degree. I graduated in December 2020. I currently work for an agency as a copywriter. I’ve gotten to work with clients like Hormel, Claire’s, Smithfield, etc. I’ve only been at my job for a year, but I love it.
Got an English degree and then extended it into a bachelor of education (in Canada). Will say, it definitely helps A LOT with speed reading and comprehension when it comes to pursuing other diplomas, certifications, and degrees. Also cultivates the skill of actually being able to understand perspectives and nuances. Also, I think it really depends on which stream you go into. There's rhetoric, technical writing, archival, etc. among other options when it comes to upper level focuses. Not to mention, it's one of the best degrees to get if you're pursuing law lol I've also seen loads of marketing firms these days in Canada requesting English degrees and not marketing degrees, which is insanely hilarious to me for some reason
I also have a Fine Arts bachelors degree (Comparative Literature). I have had a couple decent jobs and now work for a non-profit, making a very comfortable living wage. Do I actively read literature from non-European authors and discuss the merits and cultural nuances they portray as part of my work duties? Hell nah! lol It's not so much WHAT the degree is in that matters to most employers, it's that you HAVE it. This is NOT to say college is necessary or even right for everyone, or that you can't get hired without a degree. BUT! If you like school and can afford to go, just get a degree in SOMETHING. Employers will make it work! Kinda disappointed that RSlash said he didn't get anything from his degree; he got more than I think he realizes! You learn more than just "book education" from higher learning. You prove you can meet expectations, stick to something, manage yourself, work with others, read & write at a higher level, learn quickly, have experience with a myriad of different subjects, and a plethora of other things. Now, maybe getting a MASTER'S in English is unnecessary, unless you have a specific goal in mind. But all y'all lil' BA Babies, go get your degree. It's NOT a waste!
Story 3 : Alcohol is no excuse to sexually assault someone, a drunk man's action is a sober man's thought. The son has proven that when he drinks, hes dangerous.
Rslash you literally have a career where you read essays and earn a full time income sitting at home. I would say your English degree is helping you a lot as you have developed your reading skills to have almost 2M followers listening to you read.
I know!! I was going to say this- don’t trash on Humanities when they literally teach you to read and think critically and what could be a better description of what R/Slash does ?
last story: OP thought the friends shouldn't come if they were uncomfortable, but never considered the fact that it made her daughter uncomfortable as well
@@webfactorysolutions sure he doesn’t *need* it, but it can be pretty easily argued that his education in reading, tone, allegory, analysis, etc is what sets his content above the rest, even if it’s subconscious on his part.
Yeah it really annoyed me that he said English degrees were useless. I have always been passionate about English but I never went to college for it because I'd heard this sentiment all my life....now I want to get into the publishing industry and all the careers I want either require or strongly prefer at least a bachelor in english 😅
As a Brit, I can confirm that an English Degree from Oxford will make you more employable than basically ANY OTHER DEGREE you can get in this country, other than degrees you literally need to have to work in the field (medical, engineering etc). The only compatible university in the UK would be Cambridge, and it would be like being accepted into an Ivy League in the US. Not only that but you can make amazing connections at these universities. Thank god that the father changed his mind.
Well you being a red coat literally throws out your opinion for me also you brits are much better at English than Americans hell we could be born knowing everything about English and how to speak it and we'd still screw it up English degrees are worthless in America so are history degrees because people still don't know anything about history
@@RyuClaudius There are actual people out there who believe that generational wealth is a scourge on those who are less fortunate yada yada. So just by being born rich, makes her part of the evil in the world. I know it's pretty crazy, but the world sure doesn't lack crazies...
@@N0xiety the thing is, to become massively wealthy, one has to do some shady shit, be a greedy asshole, or be very, very lucky. decent people don't get rich. but we are not are fathers and those who inherited their wealth are probably the only rich people who can turn out to be truly decent human beings. odds are they aren't, but they could be.
Story 2: if you resent your child that much for, in your own words, "being herself", you are not a good parent. I'm glad OP turned himself around. Edit: OXFORD??? You could get a degree in glue-sniffing from Oxford and still get a successful career.
Remember when op said the story wasn't like the last one, in the last one, an OP's daughter got into Cambridge and op refused to pay after paying for the son to do a CS degree lmao (I'm aiming for CS at Cambridge myself XD)
Yeah, that one stung lol. My dad thinks the same thing of my art history degree (which I plan on getting a master’s in to work at museums and stuff lol) and is always dragging me for my “useless degree” when he doesn’t even have a college degree himself
@@pixlbelle8081 I despise art now because my teacher gave me a 3 in my GCSE art last year 💀 (that dragged my average down by a whole grade because I got mostly 8s and 9s)
@@slasherflickchick Ouch. I'm in the reverse situation, where my parents pushed me to study music just for the bragging rights they've gotten from me being good at it. I'm switching majors in the fall. Also, funnily enough, I have a cousin currently working on her masters in art history.
More than that even. I'm pretty sure he's classist. He got mad at OP for being rich and when she decided to end the relationship because of how HE was acting, he immediately called her a 'rich bitch' and just acted really classist. I'm honestly glad she doesn't have to deal with him anymore, he's not a nice person at all
@@zrspangle id say its more the bfs fauot not asking about how she was raised in the last 8 months. What a persons parents do usually comes up in the first few dates for me anyway. If 1 was a ceo of a multimillion dollar company, that probably would come up unless she was intentionally vague.
@@Godzilladino Yeah, if I were her, my response would be: "I'm not breaking up with you because you're poor. I'm breaking up with you because you're being a jerk!"
It really isn't a wonder why there are so many people out there who are forming feminist groups, because of people who brush aside being physically violated. Seriously, such actions are so evil and yet, too many people out there don't take it seriously. Makes you question their morale values.
Apparently there's no apology from the drunk brother himself to his sister and her friends. Because Sister's wedding would be too good an opportunity to get drunk and assault people again, being banned from the wedding is a very appropriate consequence of his behavior.
I love that rslash says that his degree was useless because all he did was read and write essays while he’s made a career based on reading stories and analysing them to give mini assessments. Sounds to me like he’s putting his masters to good use
I don’t think she meant she only talked or dated wealthy people, but it was more of she dated people probably in her area, friends of family, or places she frequents. She probably eats at pricier places, go to more expensive places and met people who also frequent those places. I don’t think she was intentionally dating wealthier people. And I think she said the finances didn’t matter because the assumption was there that both her and her partner had money so it was never a topic of conversation, not that it was completely irrelevant. Hope that made sense. But good upload per usual 🫶🏾
Yeah, rSlash immediately assuming it was a conscious choice of OP's to get into relationships with with rich people is kinda weird. I end up dating poor people the same way she ends up dating rich people, it's who I hang with. I'm not actively seeking poorer people, it just happens to turn out that way naturally.
@@TransIsBest yes, Thank you! It’s to early and I couldn’t find the right words but that’s what I was trying to say. I don’t think she was making a conscious choice to only date wealthy people.
This... This is the first time I'm disagreeing with rSlash to this degree.. That logic really didn't make sense.. When you start working you meet everybody from all walks of life... The same cannot be said for school or college if she went to private costly ones
True, but that has a lot more to do with his charisma, personality, and dedication than his degree. I doubt the degree has much impact on his current position.
@@calebeaton8777 Ehh.. respectfully, I disagree with this. His degree clearly shows with the way he reads his stories, personality - yeah that helps. But dedication and charisma are just not used in the right context here. You can tell that he’s had *dedication* to his English degree by the tone, the fluent flow, and the emphasis on certain parts of stories that he’s studied quite a bit. He also seems to be able to correct English errors that he comes across smoothly in a way that you wouldn’t notice, which a lot of people struggle with. His analysis is [sometimes] quite thorough too, which could be argued to be just his skill - which I would acknowledge, but it wouldn’t be inaccurate to say some of that probably came from the studying that he did as an English Major.
@@goofyrat2938 I see your point to an extent. I have noticed his tone, flow, emphasis, and ability to correct grammatical errors. I don't deny that his degree may have helped him develop the abilities; however, as an avid reader and writer with a high school education (my secondary education being in a different field), I believe I could do the same. To be clear, not at the same level as he does now; he's had over five years of practice and development. I also don't want to come off as arrogant; I have nothing but respect for him and recognize the effort that goes into his videos. I also understand that an alarming number of high schoolers graduate without these skills which I find disheartening. I don't deny that his English studies helped him in his current role. It almost inevitably did. I simply don't believe it crucial as I believe he could have achieved the same level of success without the degree.
I'd like to point out that your English degree is probably what is helping make you successful as a TH-camr. You're well spoken, you interpret information well, you put together the stories that you read very well.
I agree. It gives Dabney an ability to deep read in the stories he shares. He's able to see through to things others might miss. Critical in giving AH scores.
That argument is basically about the life experience in going to college in general. In that he got an education above the propaganda that is middle and high school. So, he learned to think for himself and finished what he started. What needs to be understood. Is there are many avenues besides college to get that. That said I’m college educated and not working in a field I studied in. Where I am can be attained without a degree. It also provides me with enough that I’ve already paid off my student loans, and provide for my whole family.
First Story: OP needs to honestly leave this man. It was great before he knew about OP's wealth, now he is constantly disrespecting OP and saying she was spoilt. Imagine ruining ur own relationship because u found out ur partner comes from a wealthy background. This guy made it seem like OP being wealthy is her entire personality. Second Story, YTA: Sure, its OP's and his wife's money but the fact that he won’t support her because she won’t purse a career OP wants is just disgusting. Whats wrong with a child wanting to do something different than their older siblings? The fact OP is willing to let his daughter get into life changing debt because it isn’t the degree he wants is sad Third Story, YTA: Wow, ok...so OP's son got drunk at the bridal party and started harrassing OP's daughter's friends and OP expected her daughter to just let that slide? No lmao. The fact she suggested that her daughter uninvite her friends instead of her brother is absolutely insane; OP thinks the friends did something wrong for...being uncomfortable around someone who harassed them. OP is enabling her son's gross behavior. Damn, Reddit really be giving people wake up calls, especially that comment with the story. Seems like OP seen the huge error in her ways and is willing to make things right. I wasn’t expecting that revelation of what OP's grandfather did to her
Agreed, he just sounds horribly immature and insecure about himself and his own financial situation…yeah, OP should just break up with him, unless they somehow manage to find a compromise…though I doubt that’ll happen
err, what are his points? that suddenly things that aren't a big deal, are because he wants to be judgmental of her upbringing? masking his own insecurities by implying he's better than her because she Must be spoilt?
Dude was being a dumba** and sabotaged his own relationship. Many guys DREAMED of having a rich girlfriend, and this guy bullies OP simply because she never told him? Gimme a break.
Story 2: Anyone else notice how he seems disgusted by his daughter “being herself” and says “creative” with disdain like god damn dude way to be a supportive dad
@theartistswings9810 I won't ever be one. i made sure of that a long time ago because kids are horrible, a burden, even worse now, that Biden and his vote based on feelings democrats ruined everything.
Story 1: okay but the problem telling future partners you’re rich is you’ll get men trying to use you for your money, they’ll treat you like a bank instead of a person. rSlash saying she should’ve “checked her privilege” is just annoying, for one this isn’t Twitter where we need to constantly check our privilege, this is real life, and in this lassies real world her social circle is mostly folk similar to her, which is what the world is like for almost everyone out there, our social circle is folk similar to ourselves. That doesn’t mean she’s spoiled or only thinks about money or whatever, it just means she’s never had to hide her families wealth and never had that wealth taken advantage of by those around her. Dating outside of her social class means putting herself at risk, it means dealing with men who treat her as a bank, men who don’t care about her as a person at all and are only there for her money. I do not blame her for hiding her wealth at all. Her ex boyfriend clearly was unable to have an adult conversation and talk like a normal person, he instead was aggressive, mean, a bully, tried to demean her in front of others, harassed her, he let his precious little ego get in the way and was unable to have an actual conversation with her to learn why she didn’t talk about her wealth, he instead made presumptuous judgments about her saying “you can’t cook because you’re rich and spoiled”, he completely dehumanised her. So pray tell, why would OP want to talk about her wealth when she’s treated in such a way?
The real issue with OP's ex is he's clearly classist who believes all rich people are selfish snobs and their kids are spoiled brats, he let his classist mindset be the main front set of everything else and he refuses to listen to OP because to him she's a spoiled brat because she's rich and he'd never listen to people like that.
I’m so happy that the college money parent realized the wrong-doing. One thing people have to remember is people can change their majors/minors if they don’t work out for them, so to be shot down and talked down to like that, especially by the one person to supposed to trust the most, was probably a huge confidence-destroyer.
Oxford is a UK university so not the same thing as USA it's harder to change your subject. it is possible but much harder as in British university courses you take only classes for your one subject
Rslash: A job where you read stories and give your thoughts on the reading? No I've never used my English Degree Rslash 5 minutes later: Here's the story I just read and now here are my thoughts.
Story 1: She never said “every single one of her interactions was with other people in her social class.” She said “All my relationships before him were with people in my social class.” That doesn’t mean she never deigned to speak with peasants like you’re saying. She NEVER said that she didn’t speak to anyone that wasn’t rich. She’s just saying that she’s never DATED or been in a relationship with someone that wasn’t rich. Those are two VERY DIFFERENT THINGS.
Story 1: If I, a Norwegian move to the US and date an American, and I invite him to meet my family, and it turns out all of them are Norwegian and he get's upset, that's on him. Now if I thought me being a Norwegian wasn't an issue, because I have only been in relationships with other Norwegian, that isn't be being Racist or Nationalist, it meant that I lived in a situation where it was natural to date other Norwegians, as throughout all my years, it wasn't until College I met non-Norwegian on a semi-regular basis, because I moved to an area with more non-Norwegians. By your logic, this would mean that dating Norwegians is important to me, when in reality, it's just who I have been growing up with and socialized around, it does not mean that dating a Norwegian is important to me. And the same with OP, she lived in a rich neighborhood and socialized with rich people because that was her norm and just where she tended to frequent. Now that she is frequenting elsewhere, that means that her social circle is different, and are now meeting new people of different environments and situations.
Story three: Being drunk does NOT make you do things that you don’t want to do this guy isn’t drinking and crying like “OMG the alcohol is making me touch women inappropriately, boo hoo”. If he’s doing those things while he’s drunk, he’s already wanted to do it, the alcohol just took his inhibitions away. That son is a walking red flag waiting for jail time to happen
Yeah I love how people use being drunk as an excuse oh I I ran over a minivan filled with an entire family in it and now they're all dead because I decided to drink and drive oh well I was drunk sir it's not my fault yeah great excuse for murdering a bunch of people is a barely being drunk but in my opinion if you're drunk that's still your choice if you get drunk willingly that means everything you do is still on you it doesn't matter if you're drunk because you still chose to get drunk mental illness not an excuse being under the influence of drugs or alcohol not an excuse I'm mentally ill I've never smoked or drink anything I smoked once actually it was a vape I was a stupid kid don't know why I decided to do that but anyway I guess I was curiosity but you know what they say curiosity killed the cat
I love the update to story 2 where he talks about his parents. Dude is really worried his daughter is gonna live her passion as an artist with a hardworking partner to support her
I kinda hate how a lot of people assume OP from the first story is snobby when she said "I've always dated someone in my class before" because it's literally just who she's mostly around. I'm on the poorer side and idk any rich people because I'm not rich. Also OP should only discuss her financial situation when she trusts someone, she's a wealthy young woman and tell potiental bfs or gfs that she's rich will increase the risks that come with being a young female already such as grape or unaliving.
3:30 Ohkay why were you just doing what op’s ex was doing to her in the story after finding out she was rich? It was none of his business or anyone else’s, that’s why it didn’t matter in any of her other relationships even tho she did date people from the financial status as her n her family. R slash I give you 4/5 bad guys for rich bashing op in the first story. That energy was the same as her ex boyfriend’s n made me cringe in the worst of ways. We shouldn’t judge people on financial status or anything bs wise. We should based off their character n personality instead of again something mediocre like money n financial status cause if you think about it she ain’t rich HER PARENTS are rich. OP in the 1st us completely different from other rich or just entitled girls you read about in other Reddit stories.
I'm so glad that in the third story, the mother confronted her own abuse and trauma and decided to get therapy with her son. Good on her. I jope she sits her daughter down, and explain what happened to her as a kid, not as an excuse, but as a way to express why she behaved the way she did
The college money story: The OP isn't biased in favour of his sons. But he IS BIASED in favour of certain college courses. After all, OP was going to finance his daughter until she decided to take an English course. So his bias isn't against his daughter. It's against the English course.
Story 1: How jealous and have a damaged ego can you be to act like a bratty child because your own girlfriend was raised with a rich family while you didn't?
Can't cook isnt a rich thing. I have ment a far few poor people who can't cook and barely makes edible box meals. He has self-esteem issues because he no longer feel like the big strong man and decided to target how op isn't a "real women" who can't cool, clean, etc.
*First OP:* OP's better off without her now ex-boyfriend. Hopefully the next guy won't be so hung up on her background. *Second OP:* OP has the right to spend his money how he wants, and Jane has the right not to speak to OP if he follows through with his threat. OP was TA. OP's past explains a lot about his behavior. I'm glad he came around, and I hope he and Jane can rebuild their relationship. Also, Oxford?! I would've gone no contact if OP doubled down on his decision. *Third OP:* I wonder which of OP's children she favors more? 🙄 Her son secksually (spelled that way because YT) harassed her daughter's friends, and OP thought her daughter's _friends_ should be uninvited instead if her son?! OP was TA. I wouldn't be surprised if her daughter cuts off contact after this. Like the previous OP, this OP's past explains a lot about her. I'm glad she's taking the steps to improve herself and to hold her son accountable, and I hope she can repair her relationship with her daughter. My heart goes out to everyone who had to experience something so traumatic.
What weird rumors are going on about TH-cam? o.O There is absolutely no consequences for using words like "sexual", "assault", or "rape" in a serious comment. There is nothing inappropriate about using correct language. And the only person that might report your comment for using these words, are the rapists and groomers that want to hide these topics from the public... Which results in parents like the 3rd Story! These stories literally show the importance of talking about these topics!
I have to also wonder if the reason OPs kids have never really gotten along is because he’s done things to her daughter in the past. Sure, you’d think it’d come up over the years, but it actually makes sense he was only just recently caught. The only reason he was caught was because he was plastered and couldn’t control his movements enough to be covert. Being a survivor myself, most tend to deny it’s happening until we actively see it happening to those we care about. That does tend to exclude older generations, as they’ve had more time to be dismissed with their concerns, meaning they’ve had more time to be brainwashed into believing that behavior is okay. Some of us will often gravitate toward being a substitute, if it means no one else ends up being abused. My stepdad abused me from age 11-19. I convinced myself that it was normal… until he started making comments about my younger cousins. While I didn’t speak out on it, being threatened into silence by my mother and stepfather, I’d immediately guard all my cousins. Anytime I was aware they were in his line of sight, I’d step in between them. Anytime they’d enter a room at a gathering in which he was present, I’d follow them. I definitely received punishment for that. Despite my trauma, I wouldn’t hesitate to do it again.
Story 1: Rslash comes off as bitter as OP's ex. If her social circle is mostly wealthy, then yeah, wealth is not an issue. Furthermore, OP even said her ex made good money so she had reason to think he wasn't as concerned. They're just both hating to hate because OP definitely isn't flaunting privledge here. (Also, its a very common tactic for wealthy people to hide it because they, like everyone else, want to be loved for being themselves and not their money).
Story 1: NAH, but I really don’t think it’s fair for WEALTHY (not rich, *generationally wealthy*) people not to bring up their very obviously different lifestyle and upbringing before dumping that on their middle/lower class partners. It’s like not telling your partner you grew up Amish or part of a cult, and you don’t bring it up until you both pull up to the compound lol “here’s where I spent my childhood” 🥴 like it NEVER came up?? I don’t believe that, OP kept her entire world a secret from her BF, THAT is why his trust in her was shattered. And “medium sized villa” 🥴 yeah, OP is very clearly out of touch and should stick to dating “in her class” instead of “slumming it” for the experience.
I definitely agree, as I went to Community College, that certain degrees are not worth it (I went for Liberal Arts myself, Creative Writing in particular, cuz I had been told since I was in middle school, probably as early as age 13, by my English teachers that I was a great writer based on all the pieces I would put in both being creative and 100% scores). I actually never graduated since several classes I didn’t score high enough in (namely Calculus and other math based classes that I still have never needed in my life), and then I moved even farther from my college right after I was supposed to graduate. I’m still in debt (hopefully won’t be when the student debt relief finally passes, or at least won’t be as deep in it) 6 years later. Most degrees are not worth the debt, especially if you can’t just put all your earnings into paying it off, since LIFE is expensive af. However- OXFORD!? BUDDY! If you get into OXFORD of all universities, I think ANY degree is worth the price!!!
The ignorance is incredible... How can people admit having commited financial suicide, while still pretending they never needed math... Finances ARE Math, and you can't fix them, by ignoring them... or writing them a poet~
@@Robin93k I’ve been using basic math, yes. I’ve had no need for Calculus with graph charts, Imaginary Numbers, sin, cos, tan, and Pi, though. I remember those words, but there’s been no real life application for such things when it comes to trying to make a budget to pay off debts, or calculating taxes. And I agree, that yeah, you can’t solve such a debt by forgetting basic math. I’ve been busy working my arse off, trying to budget between bills, helping my family, and paying off one of my biggest regrets in life (college). And the writing a Poem bit was not something I had planned. I’d been going to try and become even just a small time author. I wasn’t expecting to be a best seller or anything. I had planned to just write small fantasy novels, as I had actually been an avid writer back then. I burned out from the stress college put me through, and I haven’t done true writing besides quick notes since. That spark died in college, man.
Story 3 smells of favouritism, enabling horrible behaviour, supporting a man who sexually assaults, enabling all his horrible behaviour, putting your sons comfort above your daughters happiness and safety of her guests, you’re putting a dangerous man before everyone else’s safety. I was so ready to be incredibly angry because I grew up with this kind of enabling behaviour, my brother was encouraged and enabled to be violent towards me, I would get concussions, end up in hospital with head injuries, sometimes with strangulation marks around my neck. My mother, who is 52, still sees no problem with his behaviours, and I’ve been no contact for 6 years. I have felt so much freer in life being no contact, that’s the reality OP could face, completely losing her daughter because she favoured an abuser. My own mother was abused when she was younger and took that out on me when growing up, when I stood up for myself she gave the same attitude “Oh it happened to me too, it’s not a big deal” “Who cares about that happening to you, you’re not special” I however, was unwilling to live like that, to simply accept the abuse, so I walked away, went no contact with my mother and brother, and actually got diagnosed with cPTSD & PTSD from their years and years of abuse. My friends massively cared about my safety, my family however did not. Now OP is starting to understand she was traumatised as a child and didn’t think it was a big deal because she was taught “who cares”, a belief she tried to force onto me. I’m glad OP learned from this, but she has caused some huge damage trying to protect the abuser, an apology won’t cut it in this sort of situation but hard work with her daughter will, pushing her son to go to therapy and rehab, if her son is unwilling to change then she needs to hold him accountable. Her relationship with her daughter will be very sensitive and she needs to prove that she won’t protect her sons disgusting behaviour again.
Usually I’ll just listen to the stories… HOLY CROW- What is that mom thinking!? “My son harassed some women, so get over it and invite him to your wedding!” Momma needs a mental check and son needs a good long stay at a psychiatrist office.
r/slash, You asked and wondered WHY the boyfriend made such an issue with OP about his attitude and behaviors changed so drastically AFTER he was made aware of her "Wealth"? -- 1 word.... JEALOUSY! Plus this emotion towards His gf was also likely, BECAUSE of how Nice, friendly, and Level headed and smart She was that she NEVER treated HIM as a possible provider to lean on to help her in any situations where money was involved. And For being able to resolve most all her own financial bills and incidental emergency issues that Life throws at us at one time or another, OP's BF also started his Verbal abuse and constant complaints of WHY she kept her wealth such a secret?? As OP explained-- She NEVER kept it a secret, She said the issue just NEVER came up. THE BF, Had the thoughts in his head, that HE was going to Screw with her head, and heart/feelings to try to make her feel bad and guilty for having the money she had. HE WAS ALL OF JEALOUS AND RESENTFUL , All because HE had the Mindset that because She had her own life figures out and had friends, and would never have to worry about barely scraping by to live from day to day.... He was set in his mind from the very beginning, that in HIS ways of thinking, a WOMAN SHOULD RELY ON AND SUBJUCATE HERSELF TO THE EXPECTATIONS AND WISHES OF A MAN in her life. He, I;m sad to say, is how a LOT of Men think, act, and behave with a strong, self caring, respectful (of herself AND others) and moral young woman in his life. They are SOMETIMES the WORST Controllers and ABUSERS of women in and around them for most of their lives.(and this likely includes family members and close friends), (UNTIL THESE SMART women realize what Creeps and Selfish BAD GUYS they truly are and HOPEFULLY are able to walk away and leave them to their own twisted, psychotic, old fashioned and outdated, ways of thinking and behaving. And the reason I said the women faced with this type of man, HOPEFULLY is able to walk away and leave--- Is due to the VERY REAL realization that a large number of these women --when they TRY to leave such a toxic and dangerous person and situation, is because more times than not end up being KILLED by such abusive and psychotic, MORBIDLY Jealous and resentful partners and/or spouses. Especially since after 1984 (the actual year) all over the USA, It became an actual LAW that Even though a woman was married, She would be able to have a partner or husband charged and judged and Punished with MARITAL Sexual Abuse/ (The BIG "R"- word).
Third story is bonkers! If someone on my family ended up being like that guy, it wouldn't take a single second to erase them from everything AND calling the cops. Touching someone without consent is not "well meaning", it's gross, disrespectful, abusive and one step from rap3... And I don't want people like that by my side. The mother treating it like it's the daughter's friends fault and her son is an angel who do no wrongs is disgusting, Got to the end. Well, she managed to learn why. I'm sorry that happened to her and hope she now knows that her son needs help or things would end up real bad for someone.
The word is "rape", use it. While TH-cam might try to hide content using such language, there are no consequnces for using correct language in serious TH-cam comments. And just like this story proves, it'S important to talk about it and not hide it. Because if no one dares to talk about it, the victims will be left to deal with it alone.
@@demosteneswiggin5122 Ah, so you don't even know what you don't know, custard. Automatic text analysis has superseded humans years ago... The main reason text captcha have dissappeared from the Internet is because Algorythms are better in decoding them than humans... Identifying Pr0n as Porn, N****r as Nigger or Rap3 as Rape doesn't require humans anymore... It's actually the Humans, that are more likely to search exclusively for "Rape", while an algorythm is more likely to search for anything like [R|\I2][A|4|\/\-\\][P|\|o][E|3|€] (heavily simplified) Which also greps versions like Rap3, R4pe, or |2 /-\ |o € Also, if it were simply because of the words... you wouldn't even be notified about my responses towards you... Because the automatic scripts run the moment one sends his comment (and/or saves the edit). And TH-cam heavily prioritizes trigger baiting over censorship nowadays. Anything that causes friction, while being technically legal won't be censored, regardless of how controversial it might be... and it will even be promoted to people disagreeing with it in their shorts! Because TH-cam doesn't care enough about you to ban you for saying a "bad word" like "Rape". Legally, they'll might have to remove your comments if you're trying to incite violence/assaults/murders, or are literally advocating the erasement of a human being, regardless of the vocabulary you're using. Censorship exists yes, in many forms and from many perspectives with many reasonings. But TH-cam using a simple vocabulary filter in 2023? That's actually just ridiculous from an IT perspective...
Story one: as someone who grew up poor, it’s not showing privilege. I’m sorry all of you feel like anyone who has it better off than you is always privileged at everything and everything they do is based on it. Is it privilege to get food stamps when poor? Because middle class can’t even if they might struggle with bills? No? Because they aren’t rich? But it’s exclusive to them! Privilege! Y’all are wild. She grew up around people of similar status. As most people do. So she dated in her social environment, where the men happened to have wealth. She wasn’t out not accepting poor people into her social group, she just clearly never had the opportunity to date anyone outside the same financial status until she was out on her own. You’d be the same type of people to cheer on a poor person bagging a rich person, but are mad at a rich person for being rich. That’s weird.
Story 1: Yeah, I totally understand OP here. Trying to be modest about your wealth and not show it off is a good thing. While I think OP should've brought this up with him beforehand, the boyfriend is just a straight up jerk. When he started to make snide comments and says that to his friends, I was like bro, you need to chill. And this guy keeps stonewalling OP, but keep bringing up her wealth? That's BS. I would be happy to have a rich girlfriend! This boyfriend is just being a dumba** and sabotaged his relationship and didnt realize he struck gold with OP. Drop this guy immediately, he's now a straight up condescending bully.
Story 2: Wow, usually RSlash is the type to say that a person doesn’t have a right to their parent’s money. Honestly, I am always so surprised when a person gives expectations and people are upset when they fail to meet them and then blame the person who set them. OP said “I won’t pay for a degree without a set job.” His daughter goes for an English degree which does not have a set job and then is all surprised Pikachu face “You like my brothers more.” OP clearly had an expectation and told his kids. This was not some last minute steal the money away, this was a set expectation that two kids followed and the daughter thought she could fail and still get the money. I will also note, OP did not tell his daughter she was “forbidden” from getting an English degree, he told her that SHE would have to pay for it. How is that wrong? That would be like if I told my child that I would pay them for raking the leaves and they get mad that I won’t pay them for cleaning their room. I didn’t say I would pay for that, why are you expecting me to pay you when I told you the conditions I wanted to pay you for? I think the daughter is a bit spoiled but not an AH and I don’t think OP is an AH either, he did not stop his daughter from enjoying her life and even funded her trip. He just set clear expectations and she outright refused them. That seems perfectly fair to me. The fact RSlash is excited she got into Oxford for an English degree makes me laugh. Do you know what that actually means? Nothing. OP’s daughter will be able to work in a bunch of art fields, but based on individuals I know who got Ivy School degrees on par with English, OPs daughter will be at best middle class. Unless she does the usual Ivy League scam and gets her PhD so she can teach at another college. OP should have stuck with his guns, oh well, I hope I am wrong.
Story 1 DO NOT TELL Future boyfriends about your parents wealth. They will try to use you. Then manipulate you. You misrepresented about other people. Unless you don’t work with regular people( non rich). Also you say you are living off of your salary not mommy and daddy’s money.
R/slash, I think she meant that when came to money or discussions of money, it was never a problem for her previous relationships. And she thought it would be the same, that money didn’t really matter- is that just me or am I being to soft?-
1st story: I don't think that her having previously only dated rich people means she specifically sought them out. It's pretty normal imo, she probably grew up with other rich kids in her neighborhood, probably went to private schools, etc - it's normal for people to date friends or friends of their friends.
Story 1: I didn't think I'd ever see a legitimate scenario where somebody is getting wrongfully bullied for coming from a wealthy background. Bf really saw OPs childhood home and chose aggression. She wasn't malicious abt anything. She may have been stupid, but she was genuinely nice and very confused at the hard switch in treatment. Story 2: I'm glad that OP got his head out of his ass. Not all dads like that do. Also, english degrees aren't useless. They're supposed to teach critical thinking and media analysis skills, which have become incredibly rare these days. My favorite teachers in school were my lit teachers, specifically because they taught me the importance of nuance. English teachers are necessary and undervalued. Story 3: My fucking heart. My family has a long cycle of CSA. I think my abuser and I were the ones to finally break it. The abuse started after he almost died from a stress induced heart attack, and lasted 4 years - 2 years after I learned from 5th grade sex ed that it was wrong and confronted him. After I came out to the family as an adult abt what happened, he went into therapy for his own unresolved CSA trauma, finding that to be the source. The near death heart attack altered his brain chemistry, and it took nearly 3 years of intense therapy to recover. We now live with the events in the past, and he works every day to make up for what he did and prove he's changed. Acknowledging abuse isn't easy. I hope the healing process goes as smoothly as possible.
Wow, does RSlash hate rich people. OP talks about how wealth was not discussed with her previous relationships, well a lot of people don’t mention their economic status because their parents’ economic status is not theirs. Example, I come from a solid middle class family and I dated a guy who was poor. Did not matter to me because I have always been like “that’s my parents’ money, not mine” ironically my mother KNEW he was poor and as I was getting upset with him for never having me over, my mom was the one to explain that the reason my boyfriend would not let me visit his house was because he was embarrassed. It honestly hurt me as I have never judged a person on wealth but he thought I would think less of him. I literally have friends who lived in trailer parks and never cared about visiting them. Their homes were their homes and I loved them for who they were not how much they had. RSlash always thinks the worse of certain people such as Boomers, managers, rich people, like, wow RSlash tell us you hate someone from these groups without telling us you hate someone from these groups. Poor OP seems like a very good person, the type of rich person we need more of, and her ex was upset she grew up wealthy. OP even implies that she works a similar job to her ex which means that HER actual economic class is the same. Not every rich family leaves everything to their kids.
I got an English degree as well because I loved the subjects and enjoyed literature. That being said, I tend to agree with you about the usefulness of an English degree. I got a job as a reporter and I worked along a history major Editor, and two reporters who had no degrees. I learned as much about writing on the job than in college. Still, it gives you a base of knowledge and the basic writing and research tools. Although the brass ring of an English degree, bestselling writer, is a pipe dream for most. Like a college athlete being drafted into the NBA. Millions dream of being the next Stephen King, J. K. Rowling, or even a Dr. Seuss, but only a few thousand make it big. Or even earn a living from their writings. Nowadays, I publish more in Reddit and Quora comments sections than I ever did as a reporter. I left my job because I wanted consistant hours and better pay. And got a job as a prep cook in my favorite restaurant.
With the first story, I believe OP when she says that wealth wasn't an important factor in her previous relationships. Being raised in wealth, I imagine it would feel similar to dating someone from your school, town, job etc. With some exceptions, wealth tends to be similar in that sort of situation. I don't ask people I date how much money they have before dating them and it seems like OP lives by similar example. At no point in her post did she make a huge deal over the fact that her boyfriend isn't well off, I think she just found a guy she liked and that was his circumstances. Clearly the boyfriend has some deep-seated issues around money. I can get it, being raised in poverty. Big but here though - if it affects a relationships this harshly, maybe he should consider asking about this sort of thing from the jump next time. There was no need to treat her like shit to then feel indignant when she dumped him.
I agree he messed up big time. But at the same time I wonder why this was not talked about before. Just welcome to our midsize villa. Why not say "Hey we are going to my parents. There is one thing i left out. They are very wealthy. I did not hide it from you, it Just never came up. I am sorry. Amy questions?" So I understand his initial reaction but Not the ones after
Second story: it's actually even more than just four years. While medical school takes four years, you have to do 4 our more years of pre-med to even apply to a medical school. And that's not even counting residency and fellowship before you even get your medical degree to be able to practice without legal problems; So yeah paying at least 8 years of university for his two older sons is nothing compared to a year of travel, that I doubt was his daughter going around spending time in expensive hotels in their presidential suites, and eating only caviar, lobster and wagyu beef, alongside other expensive foods every single day of the year.
@@megajatt123 if she already had the idea that it was going to be that way, is it her fault for just thinking it was going to be a jay okay? I dunno, sounds like if she "went behind their backs" she had clear expectations set, which she understood especially if she had the wherewithal to go behind their backs. So is it really not her fault for setting it all up to be mad at him because she decided to ignore what she was told?
@@hitmonkey2984 she probably thought that her father would understand because she thought her father would appreciate the fact that she had spent the year travelling supposedly working and exploring her options..
College story: OP should realize an English degree, though probably not the most useful degree, will probably be more beneficial for OP's daughter because it's from Oxford. She could have a degree in underwater basket weaving and potential employers will probably overlook that because she went to Oxford. Wedding Invite: I was also pleasantly surprised that the OP took some time to reflect and came back to face the music instead of deleting her account.
Third story hits a little too close to home. A relative of mine has done some terrible things, yet when the people he wronged decided to cut him out of their lives his mom got very upset and defensive. 🙄 I hate the culture of defending predators and turning on victims.
Rslash, wealth isn't a big deal to people in the scope of dating, for example I don't care if a guy or girl I date is wealthy or not, since I am myself financially stable it's not a huge factor in my dating decisions. I think that's the idea behind "wealth isn't a big deal" as opposed to a general thought.
I was glad to see that OP in the second story actually came to his senses! I hope his daughter does well in school, no matter what the degree is for. Edit: Wow, the mom in story 3 also came to her senses! I guess that dirty laundry does sometimes need to be aired.
I woke up naked handcuffed to a radiator with blood coming out of my ass while trying to text my friend with my shoe to get me more blow. Best day ever!!
S1) Op's not at fault for her hex's inability to be a decent human being. Some hide their weath solely based on his actions. The old saying money changes people is true in this stance. The fact that she had money changed him from who she thought he was into who he really is which saved her a lot of time and heartache. Also they were only together for 8 months. Dude had no right to that until OP is/ was ready to talk about it. She may feel she wants to be opened about it which is great; healthy even. But just wait until you've been with them longer than a year at best. S2) It's good that OP learned to listen instead of demand. She got into one of the most highly ranked schools on the planet and that's no small feet. They have a lot of work to do as father and daughter but the doors open which gives them both hope. S3) What irked me the most is that OP expected her daughter to put her nasty af son's wants over her daughters on her daughters wedding day. That she was so ready to throw her relationship with her daughter down the drain over that pile of trash. OP needs to cut her son loose if she even so much as wants to keep her daughter in her life. Heavens forbid her daugther gets pregnant and he starts demanding time with the innocent and completely incapable of protecting themselves baby. While I'm happy OP's ready to make ammends she can't nor shouldn't have anything to do with her son going forward. That'd be one of my stipualations if I was OP's daughter.
I mean, I understand the sentiment of “my English degree does me no good” but like, Rslash’s job is literally now to read (Reddit posts) and video essays are a thing. So, technically, you have a job reading things and doing essays, even if you’re not necessarily writing. 😂
3:04 yeah no still. Wherever she lived with her folks, the odds of finding “rich people” was simply higher. So no not accurate 3:20 how do you even know?
For story 1 I don't agree with what you said about her showing her privilege by having only dated people in her social class. She probably didn't selectively date others in her class, they were probably just people she met and fell for. It's not like she was unwilling to date someone with less money than her. Also why should she have to "warn" people she comes from money?
Story 2: I actually thought an English degree was for people that wanted to make their own book, or work on shows and movies. Anyway I'm glad OP is working things out with his daughter, it may not be at secure career but it can be a very rewarding one, you just have to figure it all out.
You're thinking of a creative writing degree, they're very different. It's like the difference between an art class and an art history class, or being a chef vs being a food critique. One is about teaching techniques so you can improve at doing your art form. The other focuses on analyzing and critiquing the art form.
I feel like it's only a good investment if it's something you're passionate about and completely sure you want to go into. If you're not sure, it's probably a waste of money.
It's weird to me how many victim-blamey people actually have been molested/SAed themselves. Had a friend like this. She got raped by her husband repeatedly, yet when her clients (she is a therapist) opened up about their own SA trauma, she always thought "So what? Get over it!" (she didn't say it out loud, fortunately). Still, I always thought that it was super messed up. Think it has something to do with not wanting to be a victim and identifying with the perpetrator instead.
An English degree means she could be a teacher, an editor for book companies. Or, both, really. Honestly, no matter what a kid picks for a degree that makes them fulfilled and can support themselves, who cares?
I do think it depends on the English Degree and the school you went to. I have an English Degree myself, with a major in Creative Writing and a minor in Technical Writing. I went on to get my Masters in Scriptwriting. I do creative writing on the side for fun and as a side hustle that brings in a nice boost, but my main job I got BECAUSE my degree taught me how to think critically. Sure, it was a lot of reading and essays, but we were also taught how to clearly impart the ideas we wanted to share. How to take information and lay it out in a way that makes sense to someone who doesn't know what's going on. How to twist a bad situation into something that sounds good. These are things not everyone knows how to do. And it's worked for me, letting me buy my house at 26 four years ago. So it for sure depends on where you go as well.
"my english degree didn't give me any skills" says man who's job is to read and analyze people's stories. every time he talks about it i can't help but laugh (in a good way lol)
1- i have to disagree with you about wealth being important to her because she interacted with only wealthy people previously. Its likely that was just her exposure up until that point. I interact with mostly lower middle class people. I dont interact with rich people because i have no exposure to them. That doesnt mean being poor is important to me.
About OPs comment in the first video I have to disagree with you r/slash. OP is young and most likely went to schools where the amount of upper class students is higher. So her social circle up until going into the real world would have been other people who has money to spend and most relationships would have come from that circle. I agree that she's showing some of her privilege at times though.
About an English Degree: there are MANY jobs where an English degree (not necessarily a Masters, but that's always your own choice to further your higher education) is preferable, if not mandatory. Copywriters, for example. Editors for novels, non-fiction, textbooks, even news media. Teaching, high level tutoring, scriptwriting etc. The reason you go to university now is that your degree can give you the edge when applying for positions in your chosen field. Also any research positions will likely require you to be able to write high-level essays and reports on procedures, findings, comparing information etc. Just because someone moves out of their field and does something else does not mean that English degrees are worthless. If you want to pursue an English degree, you should. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about your choice.
Second post: from the way OP wrote this post, it sounds like he NEEDS someone with an English degree. He used so much improper grammar, it almost made me gag.
It's a bit rude to spring a mansion full of overly wealthy people on a regular person like that. She could have at least told him prior to the party. It's just a fact that most wealthy people look down on regular people, and it's very uncomfortable to be thrust into a crowd of them without forewarning. I've been there myself. It was extremely unpleasant, and I broke up with him immediately after leaving the function. He said he wanted to see my reaction. Well, he got his wish.
I'm glad you will stop trashing your degree Rslash. I have a degree in English and a PhD (in a foreign language and culture) and teach at a major university. I love my studies and all that I learned (and still learn) in that process. I love my profession and wouldn't want to do anything else. Almost nothing else teaches critical thinking skills like a degree in literature. I think that's something you owe your own career to Rslash.
rSlash, any education you've taken TECHNICALLY "was a waste of time" since you wound up doing something that didn't require any education, it's not that an English degree in itself is useless. I'm saying this as someone who is also now working with something that NONE of the educations I took needs. I have been on a total of FIVE different educations in completely different fields of work and am now working on something I could literally have just worked as after graduating high school. Life is funny like that. Despite me not using my educations, and technically rendering them useless, I wouldn't be the person I am today and have developed as a human being the way I have through every single one of the educations I've been on. Despite sometimes feeling like those many years I spent educating myself on something I didn't commit to for the rest of my life was a waste of time, in reality it wasn't.
Just gonna say this - a successful lawyer told me that most law schools pull from English majors first, then law majors - because it means more to them that you can write well and comprehend what you're reading. Don't know about other things, but he got an English degree and makes good money
Story 1: NTA 0/5 Story 2: YTA 3/5 Story 3: YTA 2/5 but damn her having to admit that was just too dark having to normalize something and ignoring it because she ignored her own struggles with SA shows she has room for improvement and its not too late to mend a relationship with everyone (minus the brother) involved with the wedding
Rslash, I had a bit of a laugh here after the second story. You said "I didn't get much out of my English degree... it was just reading and essays, and reading and essays." And now your job is at least 85-95% reading, filtering the useful (entertaining) stories from reddit, commentarying on those stories, and often explaining your viewpoints and bias on them. Almost... like mini-essays, and definitely a lot of researching. Hands down WAY better than writing and researching for an ACTUAL essay, but MAYBE that English Master has helped you achieve your TH-cam Mastery 😂.
Rslash, I just wanted to point out that there’s technically 8 to 12 years of school if you want to become a physician. By the sound of the story he paid for both of his sons for 8 to 12 years.
I absolutely loved getting my Anthropology undergraduate degree. Going in I knew that it was likely I wouldn’t work in that industry but a) I knew I would still enjoy the hell out of it and b) almost every job I would apply for would require a bachelor’s degree. And both were true - having a degree was required for almost every job I worked at. Didn’t matter what it was in, just that I had it (such a stupid requirement). Now that I’m middle aged, my work has been able to progress further than my friends who did not have a degree. So if you like English, go get that degree!!
This isn't favoritism, if the daughter was willing to go for a useful degree, the dad would pay for the useful degree. If the sons had wanted English degrees, the dad wouldn't have paid for the English degrees.
You're a pretty good orator Rslash, and I'm sure you write a lot of scripts for your YT videos, I think you made that English degree work in ways you probably haven't really thought about
Third story: The mother didn't think sexual assault was worth her daughter disinviting him to the wedding? Really? *_Really?_* It's time to go no contact with both of them. They deserve each other.
I actually pity the last OP. She was repeatedly SA’d as a child, and by her own damn grandfather no less! But no one ever acknowledged it, or even validated to her that what her grandfather was doing to her was SUPER wrong. This led to OP downplaying her own trauma and the actions of her son because in her mind, “I don’t understand why everyone is so upset about this. No one ever made a big fuss about it when it happened to me, so surely it can’t be that big of a deal now and they’re all just overreacting, right?”
It’s actually really sad to see how SA trauma can affect multiple generations even if it’s not intentional. I hope OP can have a sit down with her daughter and explain to her what happened when she was a child, not to excuse her actions but rather to explain why she acted that way. Opening up about that trauma may help mend the relationship.
Yes, at one time, this sort of thing was just swept under the rug. Parents did sometimes try to prevent it, but it was usually considered the price of having someone to keep the kids out of their way. Glad we've moved on.
@@curtistic5724 no we havent? I was born 1991, when I was 3 I was SA by my mums "adoptive" brother (my nanny was a woman who had helped my mum when she was 16 escape her bio dad who was raping her since she was 6 and my mum called her her adopted mum)
And my mum swept it under the rug, when I was 12 my cousin did the same thing and because he came out as gay at 17 everyone excused what he did as "struggling with his sexuality and teen boys do that sort of thing"
When my sister was raped by her supposed best friend when she was 8 (she was born 2000) that was also swept under the rug by police, his mother, the court system in the uk, my mother and family and friends.
When I was raped by my adopted brothers best friend when I was 14, I was stood on the doorstep to my mothers (she had kicked me out, long story of narcissistic sociopath mother and abuse) with a police officer and my mother told me I deserved it and shut the door in my face. I'm 32 now and she still denys that happened and sweeps it under the rug. When my most recent ex was raping and abusing me multiple times a day every day for nearly a decade police, hospital staff, my family, his family, my "friends", his friends, my GP, my therapist all swept it under the rug and told me it was no big deal and to get over it, sleep in separate beds or break up with him. I was being emotionally, mentally, physically, financially and sexually abused by this man. I was also wheelchair bound at the time and he took away my chair and broke it, hid my walking stick and crutches and I was trapped in the house unless it suited him. I was still told it was no big deal and to get over it.
Just because we are more self aware and its 2023 does not mean survivors like myself get supported and people defend us, if anything, sweeping it under the rug is happening more now
@@maddydavidsdottir9862 My God... I'm so sorry. I know that doesn't cut it, but I am. You deserve better. The world we live in is so broken.
This is why I advocate so strongly for therapy. If you (not you specifically, but "you" in a general sense) let yourself be open to it, a good therapist will guide you through all your past experiences until you find the ones that have shaped you, for better or worse, and with that knowledge, you can work out the best path toward healing. Therapy is finally starting to get rid of the stigma the boomer generation attached to it, and it's such a great thing to see. But there's still a long way to go yet.
Yeah these stories sound fake AF
I think Rslash doesn’t realize there are tons of reddit TH-cam channels and his is the most successful because he has a very structured dialogue, a very pleasant reading speed, his enunciation and intonation is on point, among other things and I really do believe an English degree and MD helped him achieve this very professional and well thought analysis of things he reads online.
I want him close to my ear and say: Omellete du Fromage
I agree with you. His readings is just super easy to relax and focus on his voice
And because he sounds like a real person
I agree
100% I can no longer go back to listen to others cause of how he reads it. He’s very good at this.
Story one: do NOT tell future bfs you’re rich. You will only get fake bfs.
That does not just apply to boyfriends by the way, it applies to all partners regardless of their gender.
Yea but if you wait eight months to tell them it’s gunna be jarring, if you trust them tell them sooner
Exactly
@@Persholm1 i cant tell if you’re just adding to the comment or if you think this is a gender thing. comment is referring to OP.
Tricky this one. I‘ve tried telling them and not telling them. I‘ve found the best way is to not directly say that you‘re wealthy and never say how wealthy, but just make them aware early int the relationship that you did grow up somewhat privileged while not making a big deal out of it. Then watch if their behavior changes. If their behavior doesn’t change, great. If they start getting unusually curious about the specifics of your families wealth or start expecting you to spend more that‘s a reason to be very careful.
1st story: "He told me I was leaving him because he was poor."
In a way, I guess he's not completely wrong. OP is leaving him because of his poor attitude.
And, for the sake of clarity, by "poor attitude" I mean "rude attitude". That's probably obvious but just in case lol.
I love this humor.
I thought you were going to say in another tone that she is a spoiled brat. Man, I feel bad for op she had done nothing wrong. To me, I wouldn't care because she isn't acting like a spoiled brat like, yeah, I would be shocked, but I wouldn't go bashing her it is her business she can tell me when the time is right.
@@swector_unit4257 nah cuz I don't think she's a spoiled brat. From what we heard, OP didn't do anything wrong. Bringing up the topic herself would come off as bragging, and starting conversations with being well off financially would attract people who only want her money. Keeping it to herself is a good idea imo.
She might've been spoiled, but the only brat here is OP's ex lol.
@@lillylovegood2300 thanks lol
@@Fran10969 fully agree, it sounds like she’s responsible, understands the value of money, doesn’t flash money around, she’s respectable and mature. He couldn’t handle having a mature conversation, he instead demeaned her in front of others, he was aggressively rude, he tried to make her feel horrible for something she doesn’t even control, all because he couldn’t sit down and have a mature conversation.
He’s just a brat, and she’s much better off without someone so hateful
Story 1: Some of the comments on reddit say she should have told him she was rich. How would she know if he liked her or her money? I'm glad she broke up with him.
Story 3: As their mother, you should be pissed at your son for being a pervert. Your daughter's right. You're the type of mother that says..."Boys will be boys." Damn lady, do better!
at the end is explain why: she was groped herself from a young age and raise in thinking it's okay. you know - groomed
@@CatCheshire I'd be willing to bet a lot of money I don't actually have that a significant portion of the "boys will be boys" people have had similar experiences. Not okay. I'm glad OP faced up to her trauma and internalized misogyny, and I wish more people would.
"she should told him she was rich" is the quickest way to get a moocher "boyfriend"
@alajanu Yeah I know, I made the comment before the end lol.
Story 1: Dating exclusively rich people doesn’t mean you seek out rich people. If for all your life you went to an expensive boarding school went to a posh university ect you’d interact exclusively with rich people and that’s just circumstantial so I’d defend OP on this point cause she could’ve genuinely not thought about it cause that’s just what they’ve been exposed to.
Same kinda vibe if i say lived in the UK and I’ve only dated English people but no Scottish or Welsh. That could be just cause of who I’m exposed to on a daily basis
Yeah idk why rSlash got on her case about that 💀
Exactly!!! People from different social classes tend to(ETA) NOT gravitate around the same stuff, especially in the formative years, because duh, they are living the life *their parents* can afford for them. And tbh some parents actually want this because they think people in a different social class are worse than them, for a variety of bs reasons.
The thing that bothers me about this first story is that OP completely forgot to check her privilege when introducing her bf to her family and assumed it wouldn't be a big deal. Maybe she didn't hide her family's wealth intentionally, but if it never came up in EIGHT MONTHS of dating, she was still hiding it by not saying anything. And yet she says her parents taught her to "keep my privilege in mind when interacting with people." She was absolutely right to dump this douchebag, but imho she needed a little bit of a reality check. I hope the next person she dates is a better partner for her, and I hope this dude grows tf up.
@@SpaceAuddity93 I've been called rich and spoiled and I'm middle class and not even higher at that.
With some people you can't win and saying it's her fault for not knowing what she had no chance to learn is asinine.
There was nothing to say. Op and bf both live from their own salaries which are about 130k a year, but he decided that makes him poor because, I guess, she stands to inherit more in the future. He is a complete moron.
Imagine shooting yourself in the foot like that. Dude bagged himself a rich, good natured girl and let his fragile ego ruin it.
Yeah, that was stupid. I understand why he behaved that way, but the sheer lack of frank, heart-to-heart discussions is bluntly evident.
You think that was a ego thing? How cute.
@@SpruceOaks yes it's ego. Either he's mad a woman has more money than him. Or he wants to misuse her for her money and is trying to gaslight her into compliance. It's abusive and egotistical. But OP didn't fall for it and dumped his ass thankfully
this is more of an assumption but i reckon that the reason why is because of his life growing up as he was only seeing her for 8 months but i think because he's used to seeing the world with a lot more financial and social struggle compared to OP, it created more jealousy than a realisation of 'hey i can have a more comfortable life than what im used to'
@@Farhan_049 I can't understand...it's plain stupid, life is literally handing good things his way but he prefers to sabotage himself
Rslash is a bit harsh on OP in the first story for the fact she hung out mostly with people in her "social class." She probably went to private school and hung out with the children of her parents' friends before she became an adult, so she can hardly be blamed for whom she socialized during her formative years. Clearly, she's broadening her social circle as an independent adult (as can be seen by the fact that her boyfriend was taken aback by her family's affluence once he was exposed to it). Rich or poor, we tend to believe that what we grew up with is "normal" until we start broadening our horizons.
It shouldn't have mattered to her boyfriend, but he obviously was threatened or insecure in some way over her family's wealth. It was a fairly new relationship, so no big loss on OP's part...she did the right thing by moving on.
She was oblivious, her life was her normal and didnt realize how her families finances and life would be alien to others. Not really a bad thing for her His handling still makes him the bad guy.
He wasn’t being harsh. He just told her that her privilege was showing and it was. She wasn’t malicious or mean or anything just oblivious to her privilege
Remember, we're only getting one side of the story. It wouldn't surprise me to hear that the BF's insecurity came from (or was at least largely fueled by) comments she had made at some point. I'm not saying the comments were necessarily targeted at him or intended to be derogatory, they were likely made due to her being oblivious to her own privilege. The fact that she doesn't know how to cook speaks volumes to this.
I’m glad that the last OP saw the depths of her mistake and realized that she was abused as a child and that she’s getting help for both herself and her son.
ending the cycle! i hope that they get better
Yep! Hopefully theres still time for the son. I met a lot of guys who genuinely did not think what they were doing was SA. Because boys are thaught that they need to "conquer" the girls, that they need to be the alpha, that groping, cat calling, touching without consent its all just flirting. And this is not only for boys! I was SA and at that time I thought "its not like they r*ped me, so I guess I shouldnt complain", so I kinda understand what OP is going through, and Im just glad that she is now realizing that the way she was treated was not ok, it was not just touching, it was not just her grandfathers personality, it was plain SA.
For the first story. She wasn't showing her privilege by saying she only dated only rich guys. Imagine it, she grew up in a rich community, and there are only rich boys/ around her, her only option. Now, after her education and only living by her means, of course, she's making less and would have to live in a community of her "new" means. Now, her only opportunity living in that community are lesser paid men.
I agree with this
... and she grew up in a rich community because of her privilege.
It’s not nocking down OP in any way, just pointing out the privilege we so easily perceive as rights or excuses.
What you’ve described is literally her privilege 😂
@@edalynclawthorne5877 @Kt Rose It's her truth, not her privilege. She was forced to talk about her parents wealth. She wasn't boasting or being a brat as some rich people can and will. She was explaining as one only could do about something so unfair.
So…privilege?
FINALLY. AN OLD-TIMER FATHER THAT ACTUALLY ADMITS THAT THINGS HAVE CHANGED
We love to see it
What changed? Liberal arts and English degree is actually worth it? Nah
@@danmancino22 Yea, but at least it's what she wants to pursue. May not be very useful, but at least she won't be stuck in a career path she despises
@@danmancino22 he admitted that times have changed.
Yes, some degrees r bs and r a waste of time. I'm a firm believer of finding something that 1. U like and 2. Is functional
Ok. I'm this heated up because u should hear the arguments my dad and I had when it came to me job hunting. He remembers being 11 and working at a dance hall bussing. And every job after that was he walked in, asked, and started the next day. Times have changed since he was working for a place and not self-employed
@@StupidCatLady It's very dicey. She could resent her father for letting her do it.
She said all her previous relationships were people in her social circle. You seem to have misinterpreted that to mean "I only socialize with rich people at all time's" when what it actually means is "I go to a lot of the parties and functions my parents get invited too and thats just how I met my previous boyfriends.". Like the boyfriend, you were kinda letting your own bias get in the way.
I completely agree. I think he was too harsh on the woman
RSlash does this often though to be fair, he's very immature and often has bad takes on these videos.
It happens quite a bit with RSlash actually, mostly with bride/wedding stories where he favours brides because it's 'their day' and similar stuff.
Yeah. Exactly. I was trying to figure out how to express this very thing.
He does this really often and it makes videos like this really difficult to listen to. Like bro, just calm tf down. Obviously that’s not what happened, so stop reaching to make innocent people look bad to a certain degree.
I'm glad rSlash backtracked on the English degrees thing. My sister's English degree allowed her to get her current job that pays well and sent her to Comicon last year for a work trip. English degrees aren't useless. It depends on what you do with it.
I have an English degree. I graduated in December 2020. I currently work for an agency as a copywriter. I’ve gotten to work with clients like Hormel, Claire’s, Smithfield, etc. I’ve only been at my job for a year, but I love it.
@@kianabrown2865 That's great!
Just having gone to Oxford, never mind the major, is going to be prestige enough to open doors.
Got an English degree and then extended it into a bachelor of education (in Canada). Will say, it definitely helps A LOT with speed reading and comprehension when it comes to pursuing other diplomas, certifications, and degrees. Also cultivates the skill of actually being able to understand perspectives and nuances.
Also, I think it really depends on which stream you go into. There's rhetoric, technical writing, archival, etc. among other options when it comes to upper level focuses. Not to mention, it's one of the best degrees to get if you're pursuing law lol
I've also seen loads of marketing firms these days in Canada requesting English degrees and not marketing degrees, which is insanely hilarious to me for some reason
I also have a Fine Arts bachelors degree (Comparative Literature). I have had a couple decent jobs and now work for a non-profit, making a very comfortable living wage. Do I actively read literature from non-European authors and discuss the merits and cultural nuances they portray as part of my work duties? Hell nah! lol It's not so much WHAT the degree is in that matters to most employers, it's that you HAVE it. This is NOT to say college is necessary or even right for everyone, or that you can't get hired without a degree. BUT! If you like school and can afford to go, just get a degree in SOMETHING. Employers will make it work!
Kinda disappointed that RSlash said he didn't get anything from his degree; he got more than I think he realizes! You learn more than just "book education" from higher learning. You prove you can meet expectations, stick to something, manage yourself, work with others, read & write at a higher level, learn quickly, have experience with a myriad of different subjects, and a plethora of other things. Now, maybe getting a MASTER'S in English is unnecessary, unless you have a specific goal in mind. But all y'all lil' BA Babies, go get your degree. It's NOT a waste!
Story 3 : Alcohol is no excuse to sexually assault someone, a drunk man's action is a sober man's thought. The son has proven that when he drinks, hes dangerous.
Rslash you literally have a career where you read essays and earn a full time income sitting at home. I would say your English degree is helping you a lot as you have developed your reading skills to have almost 2M followers listening to you read.
This, ALL of this.
I know!! I was going to say this- don’t trash on Humanities when they literally teach you to read and think critically and what could be a better description of what R/Slash does ?
last story: OP thought the friends shouldn't come if they were uncomfortable, but never considered the fact that it made her daughter uncomfortable as well
no no, obviously the daughter also shouldn’t attend her own wedding /s
Pretty funny how rslash says his English degrees was all reading stuff and that he just doesn't see a job that can make a living reading stuff
Bro really got a degree, didn’t have a plan or know what to do with it and just said nah it’s the degree not me
honestly he doesn't even need the degree for what he does now
@@webfactorysolutions sure he doesn’t *need* it, but it can be pretty easily argued that his education in reading, tone, allegory, analysis, etc is what sets his content above the rest, even if it’s subconscious on his part.
Yeah it really annoyed me that he said English degrees were useless. I have always been passionate about English but I never went to college for it because I'd heard this sentiment all my life....now I want to get into the publishing industry and all the careers I want either require or strongly prefer at least a bachelor in english 😅
As a Brit, I can confirm that an English Degree from Oxford will make you more employable than basically ANY OTHER DEGREE you can get in this country, other than degrees you literally need to have to work in the field (medical, engineering etc). The only compatible university in the UK would be Cambridge, and it would be like being accepted into an Ivy League in the US. Not only that but you can make amazing connections at these universities. Thank god that the father changed his mind.
Well you being a red coat literally throws out your opinion for me also you brits are much better at English than Americans hell we could be born knowing everything about English and how to speak it and we'd still screw it up English degrees are worthless in America so are history degrees because people still don't know anything about history
honestly if i found a girl i really liked and i found out she was rich as hell i would LOCK IT DOWNNNNNN
Yeah, this dude fumbled and doesn't even realize it
I wonder what his upbringing was that he was so bitter about OP's "upbringing"
@@RyuClaudius There are actual people out there who believe that generational wealth is a scourge on those who are less fortunate yada yada. So just by being born rich, makes her part of the evil in the world. I know it's pretty crazy, but the world sure doesn't lack crazies...
@@N0xiety the thing is, to become massively wealthy, one has to do some shady shit, be a greedy asshole, or be very, very lucky. decent people don't get rich. but we are not are fathers and those who inherited their wealth are probably the only rich people who can turn out to be truly decent human beings. odds are they aren't, but they could be.
@@N0xiety i mean .....its true
Dabney: you don't get a job reading and writing stuff.
Also Dabney: I am a multi-millionaire from reading stuff.
Story 2: if you resent your child that much for, in your own words, "being herself", you are not a good parent. I'm glad OP turned himself around.
Edit: OXFORD??? You could get a degree in glue-sniffing from Oxford and still get a successful career.
Remember when op said the story wasn't like the last one, in the last one, an OP's daughter got into Cambridge and op refused to pay after paying for the son to do a CS degree lmao
(I'm aiming for CS at Cambridge myself XD)
Yeah, that one stung lol. My dad thinks the same thing of my art history degree (which I plan on getting a master’s in to work at museums and stuff lol) and is always dragging me for my “useless degree” when he doesn’t even have a college degree himself
@@slasherflickchick jokes on your dad, art history is cool and there’s a decent amount of niche but well-paying jobs for art historians
@@pixlbelle8081 I despise art now because my teacher gave me a 3 in my GCSE art last year 💀 (that dragged my average down by a whole grade because I got mostly 8s and 9s)
@@slasherflickchick Ouch. I'm in the reverse situation, where my parents pushed me to study music just for the bragging rights they've gotten from me being good at it. I'm switching majors in the fall.
Also, funnily enough, I have a cousin currently working on her masters in art history.
I heard the first story before and op's boyfriend is the most annoying person ever. Holy shxt
More than that even. I'm pretty sure he's classist. He got mad at OP for being rich and when she decided to end the relationship because of how HE was acting, he immediately called her a 'rich bitch' and just acted really classist. I'm honestly glad she doesn't have to deal with him anymore, he's not a nice person at all
Sorry, but if your significant other lied to you about something for eight months, you’d be more than a little annoyed, too.
@@SpruceOaks she didn't lie about anything though, she just didn't flaunt her family's wealth
@@zrspangle id say its more the bfs fauot not asking about how she was raised in the last 8 months. What a persons parents do usually comes up in the first few dates for me anyway. If 1 was a ceo of a multimillion dollar company, that probably would come up unless she was intentionally vague.
@@Godzilladino Yeah, if I were her, my response would be: "I'm not breaking up with you because you're poor. I'm breaking up with you because you're being a jerk!"
I don't blame her for uninviting her brother to the wedding, he assulted her friends and the parent is just okay with is
It really isn't a wonder why there are so many people out there who are forming feminist groups, because of people who brush aside being physically violated. Seriously, such actions are so evil and yet, too many people out there don't take it seriously. Makes you question their morale values.
If I were OP, I would honestly ask my daughter if her brother ever behaved inappropriate with _her_
Hearing her say the assault victims should be banned from the wedding so the sex offender can be more comfortable is just so disgusting
Apparently there's no apology from the drunk brother himself to his sister and her friends.
Because Sister's wedding would be too good an opportunity to get drunk and assault people again, being banned from the wedding is a very appropriate consequence of his behavior.
I love that rslash says that his degree was useless because all he did was read and write essays while he’s made a career based on reading stories and analysing them to give mini assessments.
Sounds to me like he’s putting his masters to good use
I don’t think she meant she only talked or dated wealthy people, but it was more of she dated people probably in her area, friends of family, or places she frequents. She probably eats at pricier places, go to more expensive places and met people who also frequent those places. I don’t think she was intentionally dating wealthier people. And I think she said the finances didn’t matter because the assumption was there that both her and her partner had money so it was never a topic of conversation, not that it was completely irrelevant. Hope that made sense. But good upload per usual 🫶🏾
it doesnt make sense to folks who have eat-the-rich syndrome
Yeah, rSlash immediately assuming it was a conscious choice of OP's to get into relationships with with rich people is kinda weird. I end up dating poor people the same way she ends up dating rich people, it's who I hang with. I'm not actively seeking poorer people, it just happens to turn out that way naturally.
OP probably went to private schools and expensive universities so most people she'd meet and be attracted to would be other wealthy kids.
@@TransIsBest yes, Thank you! It’s to early and I couldn’t find the right words but that’s what I was trying to say. I don’t think she was making a conscious choice to only date wealthy people.
This... This is the first time I'm disagreeing with rSlash to this degree.. That logic really didn't make sense.. When you start working you meet everybody from all walks of life... The same cannot be said for school or college if she went to private costly ones
"... you never get a job just reading and writing an essay" I don't know rslash, it seems like you've got one that's fairly close /s
True, but that has a lot more to do with his charisma, personality, and dedication than his degree. I doubt the degree has much impact on his current position.
@@calebeaton8777 Ehh.. respectfully, I disagree with this. His degree clearly shows with the way he reads his stories, personality - yeah that helps. But dedication and charisma are just not used in the right context here.
You can tell that he’s had *dedication* to his English degree by the tone, the fluent flow, and the emphasis on certain parts of stories that he’s studied quite a bit. He also seems to be able to correct English errors that he comes across smoothly in a way that you wouldn’t notice, which a lot of people struggle with. His analysis is [sometimes] quite thorough too, which could be argued to be just his skill - which I would acknowledge, but it wouldn’t be inaccurate to say some of that probably came from the studying that he did as an English Major.
@@goofyrat2938 I see your point to an extent. I have noticed his tone, flow, emphasis, and ability to correct grammatical errors. I don't deny that his degree may have helped him develop the abilities; however, as an avid reader and writer with a high school education (my secondary education being in a different field), I believe I could do the same. To be clear, not at the same level as he does now; he's had over five years of practice and development. I also don't want to come off as arrogant; I have nothing but respect for him and recognize the effort that goes into his videos. I also understand that an alarming number of high schoolers graduate without these skills which I find disheartening.
I don't deny that his English studies helped him in his current role. It almost inevitably did. I simply don't believe it crucial as I believe he could have achieved the same level of success without the degree.
I'd like to point out that your English degree is probably what is helping make you successful as a TH-camr. You're well spoken, you interpret information well, you put together the stories that you read very well.
Hear hear!
Preach!!
I agree. It gives Dabney an ability to deep read in the stories he shares. He's able to see through to things others might miss. Critical in giving AH scores.
@@benjie128 What stories are you listening to? He misreads and misses A LOT of things and uses his own biases in giving totally wrong scores.
That argument is basically about the life experience in going to college in general. In that he got an education above the propaganda that is middle and high school. So, he learned to think for himself and finished what he started. What needs to be understood. Is there are many avenues besides college to get that. That said I’m college educated and not working in a field I studied in. Where I am can be attained without a degree. It also provides me with enough that I’ve already paid off my student loans, and provide for my whole family.
First Story: OP needs to honestly leave this man. It was great before he knew about OP's wealth, now he is constantly disrespecting OP and saying she was spoilt. Imagine ruining ur own relationship because u found out ur partner comes from a wealthy background. This guy made it seem like OP being wealthy is her entire personality.
Second Story, YTA: Sure, its OP's and his wife's money but the fact that he won’t support her because she won’t purse a career OP wants is just disgusting. Whats wrong with a child wanting to do something different than their older siblings? The fact OP is willing to let his daughter get into life changing debt because it isn’t the degree he wants is sad
Third Story, YTA: Wow, ok...so OP's son got drunk at the bridal party and started harrassing OP's daughter's friends and OP expected her daughter to just let that slide? No lmao. The fact she suggested that her daughter uninvite her friends instead of her brother is absolutely insane; OP thinks the friends did something wrong for...being uncomfortable around someone who harassed them. OP is enabling her son's gross behavior. Damn, Reddit really be giving people wake up calls, especially that comment with the story. Seems like OP seen the huge error in her ways and is willing to make things right. I wasn’t expecting that revelation of what OP's grandfather did to her
Agreed, he just sounds horribly immature and insecure about himself and his own financial situation…yeah, OP should just break up with him, unless they somehow manage to find a compromise…though I doubt that’ll happen
err, what are his points? that suddenly things that aren't a big deal, are because he wants to be judgmental of her upbringing? masking his own insecurities by implying he's better than her because she Must be spoilt?
Dude was being a dumba** and sabotaged his own relationship. Many guys DREAMED of having a rich girlfriend, and this guy bullies OP simply because she never told him? Gimme a break.
Story 2: Anyone else notice how he seems disgusted by his daughter “being herself” and says “creative” with disdain like god damn dude way to be a supportive dad
Yes. I was surprised people weren't talking about it
Because a fathers job is to make sure their kid suceeds in life not "be themselves" on his dime.
@@gamergodofjusticei pray to any power listening you don’t become a father with that mindset
@theartistswings9810 I won't ever be one. i made sure of that a long time ago because kids are horrible, a burden, even worse now, that Biden and his vote based on feelings democrats ruined everything.
Story 1: okay but the problem telling future partners you’re rich is you’ll get men trying to use you for your money, they’ll treat you like a bank instead of a person.
rSlash saying she should’ve “checked her privilege” is just annoying, for one this isn’t Twitter where we need to constantly check our privilege, this is real life, and in this lassies real world her social circle is mostly folk similar to her, which is what the world is like for almost everyone out there, our social circle is folk similar to ourselves. That doesn’t mean she’s spoiled or only thinks about money or whatever, it just means she’s never had to hide her families wealth and never had that wealth taken advantage of by those around her.
Dating outside of her social class means putting herself at risk, it means dealing with men who treat her as a bank, men who don’t care about her as a person at all and are only there for her money.
I do not blame her for hiding her wealth at all. Her ex boyfriend clearly was unable to have an adult conversation and talk like a normal person, he instead was aggressive, mean, a bully, tried to demean her in front of others, harassed her, he let his precious little ego get in the way and was unable to have an actual conversation with her to learn why she didn’t talk about her wealth, he instead made presumptuous judgments about her saying “you can’t cook because you’re rich and spoiled”, he completely dehumanised her.
So pray tell, why would OP want to talk about her wealth when she’s treated in such a way?
The real issue with OP's ex is he's clearly classist who believes all rich people are selfish snobs and their kids are spoiled brats, he let his classist mindset be the main front set of everything else and he refuses to listen to OP because to him she's a spoiled brat because she's rich and he'd never listen to people like that.
I’m so happy that the college money parent realized the wrong-doing. One thing people have to remember is people can change their majors/minors if they don’t work out for them, so to be shot down and talked down to like that, especially by the one person to supposed to trust the most, was probably a huge confidence-destroyer.
Oxford is a UK university so not the same thing as USA it's harder to change your subject. it is possible but much harder as in British university courses you take only classes for your one subject
@@electricdecades thank you, I completely forgot Oxford is a UK university
Rslash: A job where you read stories and give your thoughts on the reading? No I've never used my English Degree
Rslash 5 minutes later: Here's the story I just read and now here are my thoughts.
Story 1: She never said “every single one of her interactions was with other people in her social class.” She said “All my relationships before him were with people in my social class.” That doesn’t mean she never deigned to speak with peasants like you’re saying. She NEVER said that she didn’t speak to anyone that wasn’t rich. She’s just saying that she’s never DATED or been in a relationship with someone that wasn’t rich. Those are two VERY DIFFERENT THINGS.
Story 1: If I, a Norwegian move to the US and date an American, and I invite him to meet my family, and it turns out all of them are Norwegian and he get's upset, that's on him. Now if I thought me being a Norwegian wasn't an issue, because I have only been in relationships with other Norwegian, that isn't be being Racist or Nationalist, it meant that I lived in a situation where it was natural to date other Norwegians, as throughout all my years, it wasn't until College I met non-Norwegian on a semi-regular basis, because I moved to an area with more non-Norwegians.
By your logic, this would mean that dating Norwegians is important to me, when in reality, it's just who I have been growing up with and socialized around, it does not mean that dating a Norwegian is important to me.
And the same with OP, she lived in a rich neighborhood and socialized with rich people because that was her norm and just where she tended to frequent. Now that she is frequenting elsewhere, that means that her social circle is different, and are now meeting new people of different environments and situations.
Story three: Being drunk does NOT make you do things that you don’t want to do this guy isn’t drinking and crying like “OMG the alcohol is making me touch women inappropriately, boo hoo”. If he’s doing those things while he’s drunk, he’s already wanted to do it, the alcohol just took his inhibitions away. That son is a walking red flag waiting for jail time to happen
Yeah I love how people use being drunk as an excuse oh I I ran over a minivan filled with an entire family in it and now they're all dead because I decided to drink and drive oh well I was drunk sir it's not my fault yeah great excuse for murdering a bunch of people is a barely being drunk but in my opinion if you're drunk that's still your choice if you get drunk willingly that means everything you do is still on you it doesn't matter if you're drunk because you still chose to get drunk mental illness not an excuse being under the influence of drugs or alcohol not an excuse I'm mentally ill I've never smoked or drink anything I smoked once actually it was a vape I was a stupid kid don't know why I decided to do that but anyway I guess I was curiosity but you know what they say curiosity killed the cat
I love the update to story 2 where he talks about his parents. Dude is really worried his daughter is gonna live her passion as an artist with a hardworking partner to support her
I kinda hate how a lot of people assume OP from the first story is snobby when she said "I've always dated someone in my class before" because it's literally just who she's mostly around. I'm on the poorer side and idk any rich people because I'm not rich. Also OP should only discuss her financial situation when she trusts someone, she's a wealthy young woman and tell potiental bfs or gfs that she's rich will increase the risks that come with being a young female already such as grape or unaliving.
Literally though it's like saying a British person is a snob for never dating an American. Where the hell are they supposed to meet?
Thank you!
3:30 Ohkay why were you just doing what op’s ex was doing to her in the story after finding out she was rich? It was none of his business or anyone else’s, that’s why it didn’t matter in any of her other relationships even tho she did date people from the financial status as her n her family. R slash I give you 4/5 bad guys for rich bashing op in the first story. That energy was the same as her ex boyfriend’s n made me cringe in the worst of ways. We shouldn’t judge people on financial status or anything bs wise. We should based off their character n personality instead of again something mediocre like money n financial status cause if you think about it she ain’t rich HER PARENTS are rich. OP in the 1st us completely different from other rich or just entitled girls you read about in other Reddit stories.
I'm so glad that in the third story, the mother confronted her own abuse and trauma and decided to get therapy with her son. Good on her. I jope she sits her daughter down, and explain what happened to her as a kid, not as an excuse, but as a way to express why she behaved the way she did
The college money story: The OP isn't biased in favour of his sons. But he IS BIASED in favour of certain college courses.
After all, OP was going to finance his daughter until she decided to take an English course. So his bias isn't against his daughter. It's against the English course.
I know this won't be seen but I am happy to announce that I passed a national exam and got accepted for the second part.
Good job hun!!🥳💛🖤
Congratulations!🎉🎉🎉I know you're going to do great. Good luck!
Yoooo GG!
Godd job! Keep working, dear! Best wishes on your journey!
Congrats!
Story 1: How jealous and have a damaged ego can you be to act like a bratty child because your own girlfriend was raised with a rich family while you didn't?
rslash: censors the text "sexual assault" on the screen
Also rslash: says both words without censoring or bowdlerizing them
Can't cook isnt a rich thing. I have ment a far few poor people who can't cook and barely makes edible box meals. He has self-esteem issues because he no longer feel like the big strong man and decided to target how op isn't a "real women" who can't cool, clean, etc.
*First OP:* OP's better off without her now ex-boyfriend. Hopefully the next guy won't be so hung up on her background.
*Second OP:* OP has the right to spend his money how he wants, and Jane has the right not to speak to OP if he follows through with his threat. OP was TA.
OP's past explains a lot about his behavior. I'm glad he came around, and I hope he and Jane can rebuild their relationship.
Also, Oxford?! I would've gone no contact if OP doubled down on his decision.
*Third OP:* I wonder which of OP's children she favors more? 🙄 Her son secksually (spelled that way because YT) harassed her daughter's friends, and OP thought her daughter's _friends_ should be uninvited instead if her son?! OP was TA. I wouldn't be surprised if her daughter cuts off contact after this.
Like the previous OP, this OP's past explains a lot about her. I'm glad she's taking the steps to improve herself and to hold her son accountable, and I hope she can repair her relationship with her daughter. My heart goes out to everyone who had to experience something so traumatic.
What weird rumors are going on about TH-cam? o.O
There is absolutely no consequences for using words like "sexual", "assault", or "rape" in a serious comment.
There is nothing inappropriate about using correct language.
And the only person that might report your comment for using these words, are the rapists and groomers that want to hide these topics from the public... Which results in parents like the 3rd Story!
These stories literally show the importance of talking about these topics!
I have to also wonder if the reason OPs kids have never really gotten along is because he’s done things to her daughter in the past.
Sure, you’d think it’d come up over the years, but it actually makes sense he was only just recently caught. The only reason he was caught was because he was plastered and couldn’t control his movements enough to be covert.
Being a survivor myself, most tend to deny it’s happening until we actively see it happening to those we care about. That does tend to exclude older generations, as they’ve had more time to be dismissed with their concerns, meaning they’ve had more time to be brainwashed into believing that behavior is okay.
Some of us will often gravitate toward being a substitute, if it means no one else ends up being abused.
My stepdad abused me from age 11-19. I convinced myself that it was normal… until he started making comments about my younger cousins. While I didn’t speak out on it, being threatened into silence by my mother and stepfather, I’d immediately guard all my cousins. Anytime I was aware they were in his line of sight, I’d step in between them. Anytime they’d enter a room at a gathering in which he was present, I’d follow them. I definitely received punishment for that. Despite my trauma, I wouldn’t hesitate to do it again.
Story 1: Rslash comes off as bitter as OP's ex. If her social circle is mostly wealthy, then yeah, wealth is not an issue. Furthermore, OP even said her ex made good money so she had reason to think he wasn't as concerned. They're just both hating to hate because OP definitely isn't flaunting privledge here.
(Also, its a very common tactic for wealthy people to hide it because they, like everyone else, want to be loved for being themselves and not their money).
Story 1: NAH, but I really don’t think it’s fair for WEALTHY (not rich, *generationally wealthy*) people not to bring up their very obviously different lifestyle and upbringing before dumping that on their middle/lower class partners. It’s like not telling your partner you grew up Amish or part of a cult, and you don’t bring it up until you both pull up to the compound lol “here’s where I spent my childhood” 🥴 like it NEVER came up?? I don’t believe that, OP kept her entire world a secret from her BF, THAT is why his trust in her was shattered.
And “medium sized villa” 🥴 yeah, OP is very clearly out of touch and should stick to dating “in her class” instead of “slumming it” for the experience.
I definitely agree, as I went to Community College, that certain degrees are not worth it (I went for Liberal Arts myself, Creative Writing in particular, cuz I had been told since I was in middle school, probably as early as age 13, by my English teachers that I was a great writer based on all the pieces I would put in both being creative and 100% scores). I actually never graduated since several classes I didn’t score high enough in (namely Calculus and other math based classes that I still have never needed in my life), and then I moved even farther from my college right after I was supposed to graduate. I’m still in debt (hopefully won’t be when the student debt relief finally passes, or at least won’t be as deep in it) 6 years later. Most degrees are not worth the debt, especially if you can’t just put all your earnings into paying it off, since LIFE is expensive af.
However- OXFORD!? BUDDY! If you get into OXFORD of all universities, I think ANY degree is worth the price!!!
It wont pass,keep dreaming.
The ignorance is incredible...
How can people admit having commited financial suicide, while still pretending they never needed math...
Finances ARE Math, and you can't fix them, by ignoring them... or writing them a poet~
@@Robin93k I’ve been using basic math, yes. I’ve had no need for Calculus with graph charts, Imaginary Numbers, sin, cos, tan, and Pi, though. I remember those words, but there’s been no real life application for such things when it comes to trying to make a budget to pay off debts, or calculating taxes.
And I agree, that yeah, you can’t solve such a debt by forgetting basic math. I’ve been busy working my arse off, trying to budget between bills, helping my family, and paying off one of my biggest regrets in life (college). And the writing a Poem bit was not something I had planned. I’d been going to try and become even just a small time author. I wasn’t expecting to be a best seller or anything. I had planned to just write small fantasy novels, as I had actually been an avid writer back then. I burned out from the stress college put me through, and I haven’t done true writing besides quick notes since. That spark died in college, man.
Story 3 smells of favouritism, enabling horrible behaviour, supporting a man who sexually assaults, enabling all his horrible behaviour, putting your sons comfort above your daughters happiness and safety of her guests, you’re putting a dangerous man before everyone else’s safety. I was so ready to be incredibly angry because I grew up with this kind of enabling behaviour, my brother was encouraged and enabled to be violent towards me, I would get concussions, end up in hospital with head injuries, sometimes with strangulation marks around my neck. My mother, who is 52, still sees no problem with his behaviours, and I’ve been no contact for 6 years.
I have felt so much freer in life being no contact, that’s the reality OP could face, completely losing her daughter because she favoured an abuser. My own mother was abused when she was younger and took that out on me when growing up, when I stood up for myself she gave the same attitude
“Oh it happened to me too, it’s not a big deal”
“Who cares about that happening to you, you’re not special”
I however, was unwilling to live like that, to simply accept the abuse, so I walked away, went no contact with my mother and brother, and actually got diagnosed with cPTSD & PTSD from their years and years of abuse. My friends massively cared about my safety, my family however did not. Now OP is starting to understand she was traumatised as a child and didn’t think it was a big deal because she was taught “who cares”, a belief she tried to force onto me.
I’m glad OP learned from this, but she has caused some huge damage trying to protect the abuser, an apology won’t cut it in this sort of situation but hard work with her daughter will, pushing her son to go to therapy and rehab, if her son is unwilling to change then she needs to hold him accountable. Her relationship with her daughter will be very sensitive and she needs to prove that she won’t protect her sons disgusting behaviour again.
Usually I’ll just listen to the stories…
HOLY CROW- What is that mom thinking!? “My son harassed some women, so get over it and invite him to your wedding!” Momma needs a mental check and son needs a good long stay at a psychiatrist office.
r/slash, You asked and wondered WHY the boyfriend made such an issue with OP about his attitude and behaviors changed so drastically AFTER he was made aware of her "Wealth"? -- 1 word.... JEALOUSY! Plus this emotion towards His gf was also likely, BECAUSE of how Nice, friendly, and Level headed and smart She was that she NEVER treated HIM as a possible provider to lean on to help her in any situations where money was involved. And For being able to resolve most all her own financial bills and incidental emergency issues that Life throws at us at one time or another, OP's BF also started his Verbal abuse and constant complaints of WHY she kept her wealth such a secret?? As OP explained-- She NEVER kept it a secret, She said the issue just NEVER came up. THE BF, Had the thoughts in his head, that HE was going to Screw with her head, and heart/feelings to try to make her feel bad and guilty for having the money she had. HE WAS ALL OF JEALOUS AND RESENTFUL , All because HE had the Mindset that because She had her own life figures out and had friends, and would never have to worry about barely scraping by to live from day to day.... He was set in his mind from the very beginning, that in HIS ways of thinking, a WOMAN SHOULD RELY ON AND SUBJUCATE HERSELF TO THE EXPECTATIONS AND WISHES OF A MAN in her life. He, I;m sad to say, is how a LOT of Men think, act, and behave with a strong, self caring, respectful (of herself AND others) and moral young woman in his life. They are SOMETIMES the WORST Controllers and ABUSERS of women in and around them for most of their lives.(and this likely includes family members and close friends), (UNTIL THESE SMART women realize what Creeps and Selfish BAD GUYS they truly are and HOPEFULLY are able to walk away and leave them to their own twisted, psychotic, old fashioned and outdated, ways of thinking and behaving. And the reason I said the women faced with this type of man, HOPEFULLY is able to walk away and leave--- Is due to the VERY REAL realization that a large number of these women --when they TRY to leave such a toxic and dangerous person and situation, is because more times than not end up being KILLED by such abusive and psychotic, MORBIDLY Jealous and resentful partners and/or spouses. Especially since after 1984 (the actual year) all over the USA, It became an actual LAW that Even though a woman was married, She would be able to have a partner or husband charged and judged and Punished with MARITAL Sexual Abuse/ (The BIG "R"- word).
Third story is bonkers! If someone on my family ended up being like that guy, it wouldn't take a single second to erase them from everything AND calling the cops. Touching someone without consent is not "well meaning", it's gross, disrespectful, abusive and one step from rap3... And I don't want people like that by my side. The mother treating it like it's the daughter's friends fault and her son is an angel who do no wrongs is disgusting,
Got to the end. Well, she managed to learn why. I'm sorry that happened to her and hope she now knows that her son needs help or things would end up real bad for someone.
The word is "rape", use it.
While TH-cam might try to hide content using such language, there are no consequnces for using correct language in serious TH-cam comments.
And just like this story proves, it'S important to talk about it and not hide it.
Because if no one dares to talk about it, the victims will be left to deal with it alone.
@@Robin93k I know that, honey. But TH-cam had censored my comments many tima for that... Do you understand censorship exists, right?
@@demosteneswiggin5122
Ah, so you don't even know what you don't know, custard.
Automatic text analysis has superseded humans years ago...
The main reason text captcha have dissappeared from the Internet is because Algorythms are better in decoding them than humans...
Identifying Pr0n as Porn, N****r as Nigger or Rap3 as Rape doesn't require humans anymore...
It's actually the Humans, that are more likely to search exclusively for "Rape", while an algorythm is more likely to search for anything like [R|\I2][A|4|\/\-\\][P|\|o][E|3|€] (heavily simplified) Which also greps versions like Rap3, R4pe, or |2 /-\ |o €
Also, if it were simply because of the words... you wouldn't even be notified about my responses towards you... Because the automatic scripts run the moment one sends his comment (and/or saves the edit).
And TH-cam heavily prioritizes trigger baiting over censorship nowadays.
Anything that causes friction, while being technically legal won't be censored, regardless of how controversial it might be... and it will even be promoted to people disagreeing with it in their shorts!
Because TH-cam doesn't care enough about you to ban you for saying a "bad word" like "Rape".
Legally, they'll might have to remove your comments if you're trying to incite violence/assaults/murders, or are literally advocating the erasement of a human being, regardless of the vocabulary you're using.
Censorship exists yes, in many forms and from many perspectives with many reasonings.
But TH-cam using a simple vocabulary filter in 2023? That's actually just ridiculous from an IT perspective...
Story one: as someone who grew up poor, it’s not showing privilege. I’m sorry all of you feel like anyone who has it better off than you is always privileged at everything and everything they do is based on it. Is it privilege to get food stamps when poor? Because middle class can’t even if they might struggle with bills? No? Because they aren’t rich? But it’s exclusive to them! Privilege!
Y’all are wild. She grew up around people of similar status. As most people do. So she dated in her social environment, where the men happened to have wealth. She wasn’t out not accepting poor people into her social group, she just clearly never had the opportunity to date anyone outside the same financial status until she was out on her own. You’d be the same type of people to cheer on a poor person bagging a rich person, but are mad at a rich person for being rich. That’s weird.
Story 1: Yeah, I totally understand OP here. Trying to be modest about your wealth and not show it off is a good thing. While I think OP should've brought this up with him beforehand, the boyfriend is just a straight up jerk. When he started to make snide comments and says that to his friends, I was like bro, you need to chill. And this guy keeps stonewalling OP, but keep bringing up her wealth? That's BS. I would be happy to have a rich girlfriend! This boyfriend is just being a dumba** and sabotaged his relationship and didnt realize he struck gold with OP. Drop this guy immediately, he's now a straight up condescending bully.
i can see why she didn't bring it up beforehand tho, to prevent herself from ending up with people who only want to be with her for her money
Story 2: Wow, usually RSlash is the type to say that a person doesn’t have a right to their parent’s money. Honestly, I am always so surprised when a person gives expectations and people are upset when they fail to meet them and then blame the person who set them. OP said “I won’t pay for a degree without a set job.” His daughter goes for an English degree which does not have a set job and then is all surprised Pikachu face “You like my brothers more.” OP clearly had an expectation and told his kids. This was not some last minute steal the money away, this was a set expectation that two kids followed and the daughter thought she could fail and still get the money. I will also note, OP did not tell his daughter she was “forbidden” from getting an English degree, he told her that SHE would have to pay for it. How is that wrong? That would be like if I told my child that I would pay them for raking the leaves and they get mad that I won’t pay them for cleaning their room. I didn’t say I would pay for that, why are you expecting me to pay you when I told you the conditions I wanted to pay you for? I think the daughter is a bit spoiled but not an AH and I don’t think OP is an AH either, he did not stop his daughter from enjoying her life and even funded her trip. He just set clear expectations and she outright refused them. That seems perfectly fair to me. The fact RSlash is excited she got into Oxford for an English degree makes me laugh. Do you know what that actually means? Nothing. OP’s daughter will be able to work in a bunch of art fields, but based on individuals I know who got Ivy School degrees on par with English, OPs daughter will be at best middle class. Unless she does the usual Ivy League scam and gets her PhD so she can teach at another college. OP should have stuck with his guns, oh well, I hope I am wrong.
I think the boyfriend just wanted to break up and used this as an escape method
Sounding like Michael's mindset while trying to leave Astrid in Crazy Rich Asians
Story 1 DO NOT TELL Future boyfriends about your parents wealth. They will try to use you. Then manipulate you. You misrepresented about other people. Unless you don’t work with regular people( non rich). Also you say you are living off of your salary not mommy and daddy’s money.
R/slash, I think she meant that when came to money or discussions of money, it was never a problem for her previous relationships. And she thought it would be the same, that money didn’t really matter- is that just me or am I being to soft?-
1st story: I don't think that her having previously only dated rich people means she specifically sought them out. It's pretty normal imo, she probably grew up with other rich kids in her neighborhood, probably went to private schools, etc - it's normal for people to date friends or friends of their friends.
Story 1: I didn't think I'd ever see a legitimate scenario where somebody is getting wrongfully bullied for coming from a wealthy background. Bf really saw OPs childhood home and chose aggression. She wasn't malicious abt anything. She may have been stupid, but she was genuinely nice and very confused at the hard switch in treatment.
Story 2: I'm glad that OP got his head out of his ass. Not all dads like that do. Also, english degrees aren't useless. They're supposed to teach critical thinking and media analysis skills, which have become incredibly rare these days. My favorite teachers in school were my lit teachers, specifically because they taught me the importance of nuance. English teachers are necessary and undervalued.
Story 3: My fucking heart. My family has a long cycle of CSA. I think my abuser and I were the ones to finally break it. The abuse started after he almost died from a stress induced heart attack, and lasted 4 years - 2 years after I learned from 5th grade sex ed that it was wrong and confronted him. After I came out to the family as an adult abt what happened, he went into therapy for his own unresolved CSA trauma, finding that to be the source. The near death heart attack altered his brain chemistry, and it took nearly 3 years of intense therapy to recover. We now live with the events in the past, and he works every day to make up for what he did and prove he's changed. Acknowledging abuse isn't easy. I hope the healing process goes as smoothly as possible.
Wow, does RSlash hate rich people. OP talks about how wealth was not discussed with her previous relationships, well a lot of people don’t mention their economic status because their parents’ economic status is not theirs. Example, I come from a solid middle class family and I dated a guy who was poor. Did not matter to me because I have always been like “that’s my parents’ money, not mine” ironically my mother KNEW he was poor and as I was getting upset with him for never having me over, my mom was the one to explain that the reason my boyfriend would not let me visit his house was because he was embarrassed. It honestly hurt me as I have never judged a person on wealth but he thought I would think less of him. I literally have friends who lived in trailer parks and never cared about visiting them. Their homes were their homes and I loved them for who they were not how much they had. RSlash always thinks the worse of certain people such as Boomers, managers, rich people, like, wow RSlash tell us you hate someone from these groups without telling us you hate someone from these groups. Poor OP seems like a very good person, the type of rich person we need more of, and her ex was upset she grew up wealthy. OP even implies that she works a similar job to her ex which means that HER actual economic class is the same. Not every rich family leaves everything to their kids.
I got an English degree as well because I loved the subjects and enjoyed literature. That being said, I tend to agree with you about the usefulness of an English degree. I got a job as a reporter and I worked along a history major Editor, and two reporters who had no degrees. I learned as much about writing on the job than in college.
Still, it gives you a base of knowledge and the basic writing and research tools. Although the brass ring of an English degree, bestselling writer, is a pipe dream for most. Like a college athlete being drafted into the NBA. Millions dream of being the next Stephen King, J. K. Rowling, or even a Dr. Seuss, but only a few thousand make it big. Or even earn a living from their writings. Nowadays, I publish more in Reddit and Quora comments sections than I ever did as a reporter. I left my job because I wanted consistant hours and better pay. And got a job as a prep cook in my favorite restaurant.
"you never get a job, where you get to read stuff and then to write essays"
Every researcher: half of my job doesn't exist
With the first story, I believe OP when she says that wealth wasn't an important factor in her previous relationships. Being raised in wealth, I imagine it would feel similar to dating someone from your school, town, job etc. With some exceptions, wealth tends to be similar in that sort of situation. I don't ask people I date how much money they have before dating them and it seems like OP lives by similar example. At no point in her post did she make a huge deal over the fact that her boyfriend isn't well off, I think she just found a guy she liked and that was his circumstances.
Clearly the boyfriend has some deep-seated issues around money. I can get it, being raised in poverty. Big but here though - if it affects a relationships this harshly, maybe he should consider asking about this sort of thing from the jump next time. There was no need to treat her like shit to then feel indignant when she dumped him.
I agree he messed up big time.
But at the same time I wonder why this was not talked about before. Just welcome to our midsize villa. Why not say "Hey we are going to my parents. There is one thing i left out. They are very wealthy. I did not hide it from you, it Just never came up. I am sorry. Amy questions?" So I understand his initial reaction but Not the ones after
Second story: it's actually even more than just four years. While medical school takes four years, you have to do 4 our more years of pre-med to even apply to a medical school. And that's not even counting residency and fellowship before you even get your medical degree to be able to practice without legal problems;
So yeah paying at least 8 years of university for his two older sons is nothing compared to a year of travel, that I doubt was his daughter going around spending time in expensive hotels in their presidential suites, and eating only caviar, lobster and wagyu beef, alongside other expensive foods every single day of the year.
Story 2: Parents who provide clear expectations about what sort of study they will pay for are fair. I’m not sure how clear her dad was in advance.
It's fair because it's his money,but he'll get a daughter who resents him so, decisions decisions
@@megajatt123 if she already had the idea that it was going to be that way, is it her fault for just thinking it was going to be a jay okay?
I dunno, sounds like if she "went behind their backs" she had clear expectations set, which she understood especially if she had the wherewithal to go behind their backs.
So is it really not her fault for setting it all up to be mad at him because she decided to ignore what she was told?
@@hitmonkey2984 she probably thought that her father would understand because she thought her father would appreciate the fact that she had spent the year travelling supposedly working and exploring her options..
College story: OP should realize an English degree, though probably not the most useful degree, will probably be more beneficial for OP's daughter because it's from Oxford. She could have a degree in underwater basket weaving and potential employers will probably overlook that because she went to Oxford.
Wedding Invite: I was also pleasantly surprised that the OP took some time to reflect and came back to face the music instead of deleting her account.
Third story hits a little too close to home. A relative of mine has done some terrible things, yet when the people he wronged decided to cut him out of their lives his mom got very upset and defensive. 🙄 I hate the culture of defending predators and turning on victims.
Rslash, wealth isn't a big deal to people in the scope of dating, for example I don't care if a guy or girl I date is wealthy or not, since I am myself financially stable it's not a huge factor in my dating decisions. I think that's the idea behind "wealth isn't a big deal" as opposed to a general thought.
I was glad to see that OP in the second story actually came to his senses! I hope his daughter does well in school, no matter what the degree is for.
Edit: Wow, the mom in story 3 also came to her senses! I guess that dirty laundry does sometimes need to be aired.
The son who sexually assaulted the friends should not be supported in any way, shape, or form.
I hope that everyone is having a good Tuesday!
You too mr scarlo!
You too.
You too
I woke up naked handcuffed to a radiator with blood coming out of my ass while trying to text my friend with my shoe to get me more blow. Best day ever!!
S1) Op's not at fault for her hex's inability to be a decent human being. Some hide their weath solely based on his actions. The old saying money changes people is true in this stance. The fact that she had money changed him from who she thought he was into who he really is which saved her a lot of time and heartache. Also they were only together for 8 months. Dude had no right to that until OP is/ was ready to talk about it. She may feel she wants to be opened about it which is great; healthy even. But just wait until you've been with them longer than a year at best.
S2) It's good that OP learned to listen instead of demand. She got into one of the most highly ranked schools on the planet and that's no small feet. They have a lot of work to do as father and daughter but the doors open which gives them both hope.
S3) What irked me the most is that OP expected her daughter to put her nasty af son's wants over her daughters on her daughters wedding day. That she was so ready to throw her relationship with her daughter down the drain over that pile of trash. OP needs to cut her son loose if she even so much as wants to keep her daughter in her life. Heavens forbid her daugther gets pregnant and he starts demanding time with the innocent and completely incapable of protecting themselves baby. While I'm happy OP's ready to make ammends she can't nor shouldn't have anything to do with her son going forward. That'd be one of my stipualations if I was OP's daughter.
I mean, I understand the sentiment of “my English degree does me no good” but like, Rslash’s job is literally now to read (Reddit posts) and video essays are a thing. So, technically, you have a job reading things and doing essays, even if you’re not necessarily writing. 😂
3:04 yeah no still. Wherever she lived with her folks, the odds of finding “rich people” was simply higher. So no not accurate
3:20 how do you even know?
For story 1 I don't agree with what you said about her showing her privilege by having only dated people in her social class. She probably didn't selectively date others in her class, they were probably just people she met and fell for. It's not like she was unwilling to date someone with less money than her. Also why should she have to "warn" people she comes from money?
Story 2: I actually thought an English degree was for people that wanted to make their own book, or work on shows and movies. Anyway I'm glad OP is working things out with his daughter, it may not be at secure career but it can be a very rewarding one, you just have to figure it all out.
You're thinking of a creative writing degree, they're very different. It's like the difference between an art class and an art history class, or being a chef vs being a food critique. One is about teaching techniques so you can improve at doing your art form. The other focuses on analyzing and critiquing the art form.
I feel like it's only a good investment if it's something you're passionate about and completely sure you want to go into. If you're not sure, it's probably a waste of money.
It's weird to me how many victim-blamey people actually have been molested/SAed themselves. Had a friend like this. She got raped by her husband repeatedly, yet when her clients (she is a therapist) opened up about their own SA trauma, she always thought "So what? Get over it!" (she didn't say it out loud, fortunately). Still, I always thought that it was super messed up.
Think it has something to do with not wanting to be a victim and identifying with the perpetrator instead.
An English degree means she could be a teacher, an editor for book companies. Or, both, really. Honestly, no matter what a kid picks for a degree that makes them fulfilled and can support themselves, who cares?
I do think it depends on the English Degree and the school you went to. I have an English Degree myself, with a major in Creative Writing and a minor in Technical Writing. I went on to get my Masters in Scriptwriting. I do creative writing on the side for fun and as a side hustle that brings in a nice boost, but my main job I got BECAUSE my degree taught me how to think critically. Sure, it was a lot of reading and essays, but we were also taught how to clearly impart the ideas we wanted to share. How to take information and lay it out in a way that makes sense to someone who doesn't know what's going on. How to twist a bad situation into something that sounds good. These are things not everyone knows how to do. And it's worked for me, letting me buy my house at 26 four years ago. So it for sure depends on where you go as well.
"my english degree didn't give me any skills" says man who's job is to read and analyze people's stories. every time he talks about it i can't help but laugh (in a good way lol)
1- i have to disagree with you about wealth being important to her because she interacted with only wealthy people previously. Its likely that was just her exposure up until that point. I interact with mostly lower middle class people. I dont interact with rich people because i have no exposure to them. That doesnt mean being poor is important to me.
An English degree can actually be extremely useful. She can become a professor, literary editor, even go into publishing.
About OPs comment in the first video I have to disagree with you r/slash.
OP is young and most likely went to schools where the amount of upper class students is higher. So her social circle up until going into the real world would have been other people who has money to spend and most relationships would have come from that circle.
I agree that she's showing some of her privilege at times though.
Thank you! He’s really grasping at straws to find a reason to give OP grief for being wealthy.
About an English Degree: there are MANY jobs where an English degree (not necessarily a Masters, but that's always your own choice to further your higher education) is preferable, if not mandatory. Copywriters, for example. Editors for novels, non-fiction, textbooks, even news media. Teaching, high level tutoring, scriptwriting etc. The reason you go to university now is that your degree can give you the edge when applying for positions in your chosen field. Also any research positions will likely require you to be able to write high-level essays and reports on procedures, findings, comparing information etc. Just because someone moves out of their field and does something else does not mean that English degrees are worthless. If you want to pursue an English degree, you should. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about your choice.
Second post: from the way OP wrote this post, it sounds like he NEEDS someone with an English degree. He used so much improper grammar, it almost made me gag.
It's a bit rude to spring a mansion full of overly wealthy people on a regular person like that. She could have at least told him prior to the party. It's just a fact that most wealthy people look down on regular people, and it's very uncomfortable to be thrust into a crowd of them without forewarning. I've been there myself. It was extremely unpleasant, and I broke up with him immediately after leaving the function.
He said he wanted to see my reaction. Well, he got his wish.
I'm glad you will stop trashing your degree Rslash. I have a degree in English and a PhD (in a foreign language and culture) and teach at a major university. I love my studies and all that I learned (and still learn) in that process. I love my profession and wouldn't want to do anything else. Almost nothing else teaches critical thinking skills like a degree in literature. I think that's something you owe your own career to Rslash.
"Almost nothing else teaches critical thinking skills like a degree in literature"..? o.O?
Damn, Dunning Kruger is strong in this one!
rSlash, any education you've taken TECHNICALLY "was a waste of time" since you wound up doing something that didn't require any education, it's not that an English degree in itself is useless.
I'm saying this as someone who is also now working with something that NONE of the educations I took needs. I have been on a total of FIVE different educations in completely different fields of work and am now working on something I could literally have just worked as after graduating high school. Life is funny like that. Despite me not using my educations, and technically rendering them useless, I wouldn't be the person I am today and have developed as a human being the way I have through every single one of the educations I've been on. Despite sometimes feeling like those many years I spent educating myself on something I didn't commit to for the rest of my life was a waste of time, in reality it wasn't.
Just gonna say this - a successful lawyer told me that most law schools pull from English majors first, then law majors - because it means more to them that you can write well and comprehend what you're reading. Don't know about other things, but he got an English degree and makes good money
Philosophy majors too.
Story 1: NTA 0/5
Story 2: YTA 3/5
Story 3: YTA 2/5 but damn her having to admit that was just too dark having to normalize something and ignoring it because she ignored her own struggles with SA shows she has room for improvement and its not too late to mend a relationship with everyone (minus the brother) involved with the wedding
Damn, TWO different and unrelated bad parents learning from their mistakes in the same video?! Seems the Christmas miracles are a little early!
First story:
SHE is not rich, HER PARENTS ARE.
Rslash, I had a bit of a laugh here after the second story. You said "I didn't get much out of my English degree... it was just reading and essays, and reading and essays."
And now your job is at least 85-95% reading, filtering the useful (entertaining) stories from reddit, commentarying on those stories, and often explaining your viewpoints and bias on them. Almost... like mini-essays, and definitely a lot of researching.
Hands down WAY better than writing and researching for an ACTUAL essay, but MAYBE that English Master has helped you achieve your TH-cam Mastery 😂.
Rslash, I just wanted to point out that there’s technically 8 to 12 years of school if you want to become a physician. By the sound of the story he paid for both of his sons for 8 to 12 years.
I absolutely loved getting my Anthropology undergraduate degree. Going in I knew that it was likely I wouldn’t work in that industry but a) I knew I would still enjoy the hell out of it and b) almost every job I would apply for would require a bachelor’s degree. And both were true - having a degree was required for almost every job I worked at. Didn’t matter what it was in, just that I had it (such a stupid requirement). Now that I’m middle aged, my work has been able to progress further than my friends who did not have a degree. So if you like English, go get that degree!!
This isn't favoritism, if the daughter was willing to go for a useful degree, the dad would pay for the useful degree.
If the sons had wanted English degrees, the dad wouldn't have paid for the English degrees.
You're a pretty good orator Rslash, and I'm sure you write a lot of scripts for your YT videos, I think you made that English degree work in ways you probably haven't really thought about
Third story: The mother didn't think sexual assault was worth her daughter disinviting him to the wedding? Really? *_Really?_* It's time to go no contact with both of them. They deserve each other.