Rewarding failure is even worse! Just looked it up and he seemed to have unlisted the car but his initial argument as to why the son got a new truck and she didn't when confronted with money spending was that he had to spend more money on her daughter for medical reasons than for the son. WTF?!?!
@@lonedogjerome yep. He said that her medically required braces were akin to cosmetic surgery, and "since she got cosmetic work done, it's only fair that my son gets the same amount of money (in the form of the truck)"
It’s interesting that he waited until his daughter had spent tons of money fixing up that piece of crap he bought before flipping it. He didn’t just treat her unfairly but outright took advantage of her to make money. What a complete @sshole.
"You don't need the same treatment as your brother because it's different situations", then ten seconds later "I didn't do that for your brother, so why should I do it for you?" To think someone would write that and not realize how messed up that logic is...
As a mom, I would NEVER leave my kids unsupervised at a family event. 89% of SA of minors are by family members or family "friends." Unless it's someone I trust, I always watch my own kids.
Can't take parents who quietly disappear when they see another adult around their kids at an event, assuming without confirming that the adult in question will take over responsibility.
narcissists are incapable of realizing when they do wrong and challenging their vision of the world is difficult,the only way her therapist can work with her in the aspect of acknowledge her mistakes is if OP or her mom go as well and give more panoramic
If she is a narcissist then she probably /was/ being abused by their parents in some way. Just saying.(not defending her. She honestly reminds me of my sister who I have a terrible relationship with. I just feel it’s necessary to point out)
Story 5: so the mother is proud for putting OP through something that left him, and I quote: "too scared to have friends." OP needs to fire their therapist. Preferably using a paper bag full of pig diarrhea.
OP was a troubled teen, his mom sent him to a facility for troubled teens. What else was she supposed to do if his behavior was only getting worse? Either way, the experience did turn him around.
@@mongoose9851 it did help turn him around, I will give the mother that much. But at what cost? It sounds like OP was outright traumatized by the experience. And traumatizing your own child, even if you had good intentions, is nothing to be proud of.
@@mongoose9851 her reaction was like seeing someone snatch a cheap chocolate from a convenience store, and sending them for years to a high-security jail. She didn't send him to a place for troubled teens, she sent him straight up to a rehab facility with other teens with way worst drug problems like meth, all for smoking weed only once; She went overboard, basically traumatized OP for no reason, and is now acting like she was right for doing it. No matter how troubled OP was as a teen, he wasn't on the level to make what she did even barely justifiable.
I was one of those kids who was sent to a boarding school for at risk teens. I was only 14 and didn't do drugs or anything. It got shut down years ago for child abuse but the damage was done. My guardian still doesn't acknowledge the damage done and I have PTSD from it... I'm almost 37. Some things just stick with you
The troubled teen industry is one of the most fucked industries to exist and that’s saying something. I’ve never heard a story that wasn’t of horrific abuse.
@@beebs4283 we wouldn't likely hear the non-abusive stories as they don't make good stories, but the stories we do hear are enough to know there is a problem.
She may actually be a victim too though. A lot of times victims of abuse act out and OP may have never seen the abuse because most abusers are really good at hiding it.
@@ItsMeBarnabyt’s funny you tell people to “grow up” but you can’t accept other people’s interests. If you can’t accept people then you are just a petulant child.
Choosing to dislike Disney simply because it is "made for kids" (they know full and well who their audience is) is about as childish as a boy choosing to dislike pink because "it's a girl color".
Can we acknowledge how awesome the daughter in the car story is? She took charge of taking care of her car while going to college and studying. How is OP not more proud of her???
Story 4: You can't just expect some random stranger to watch your children at an outing, especially without letting them know. It makes you look bad. Nobody wants to deal with surprise babysitting, that throws things into a tailspin
Agreed, if you bring your kid to a party, you and all the other parents who did the same can go hangout on the deck together and watch the kids. Otherwise, get an actual babysitter, leave them home alone if they're old enough or don't go to the party.
Why is no one pointing out the fact that OP was sitting in a car after drinking beer on thier phone when that entitled parent walked up?! We need more details on op whether or not he was the driver! If not, easy 0/5 bad guys But if he is the driver then he gets 4/5 bad guys for drinking and driving!
Omg yes. I don't know who the heck decided that just because I'm the youngest in my generation that I'm the designated babysitter at family events, but they need a reality check if they think that the stoner aunt is the smart option as a babysitter. Lol.
Story where the parent yelled at OP for not watching the kids at the pool. The correct answer from OP: “Are they my kids? No. Are you paying me to watch them? No. Therefore it’s not my problem. Easy solution here. You try to actually be a responsible parent.”
And why was OP even singled out? He’s a guy apparently with no kids and he’s been drinking and mingling with others. And I don’t recall in the story where he even talked to any of the kids.
Story 2: As RSlash said, if she doesn't want Disney items, she'll just have to book somewhere else or rent some of those high quality port-a-potties. It's not childish to only have a couple Winnie-the-Pooh towels in the bathroom, who thinks that? I see where she is coming from, but it's not that bad, I never really cared what the towels I used looked like as long as they weren't waterlogged.
The sister was complaining that people would have to walk through OP's first floor and they would see the collectibles. But...so what? If that's a deal breaker sister can get married in a local park and people can use the public restrooms 😂
On the third story how does op even pretend he's not picking favorites. He helped his son but refused to help his daughter. He got a 99 and if this is recent that car had to be super old. It also sounds like he didn't offer to sell the car to his daughter for a small fee. OP is an awful parent.
if I remember right from another channel someone found the post and in the comments OP the father said he is treating them equally because he had to get her braces or something like that. So that is why he didn't want to get her a new car. That he had a "hard time" paying for stuff. even though he didn't really struggle at all. He is punishing his daughter for needing braces at a young age.
Also, even a bare bones F150 can cost upwards of $40k without even blinking (based on this year's model MSRP). Even in a good out of state college, that's a whole year of tuition and a bit left over. He could easily have done that, or even just sucked it up and gotten her a car, even a cheaper sedan.
Even if we were to go with her narrative that she acted out because she was the scapegoat, then still she needs to take accountability for the terrible things she did AFTER turning 18. A 22 year old yelling at an 11 year old is not being a scapegoat, they're being a violently hateful person. Trauma never excuses our actions even if it explains it, she can have her moment of "oh my god i was abused" without making herself THE victim. She was still a grown woman making everyone's life a living hell.
Yeah tbh if you're an adult being scapegoated and you take it out on a child? Then youre also awful. No 11 yr old can do shit that harmful to someone who is literally twice their age. Like even if she is the scapegoat, "figuring out the family dynamic" doesn't mean she is free of apologizing for the way she harmed her other siblings
@@lorilancaster5917- He can certainly grow and move on without the apology, but he needs to cut contact to do that. He can’t stay if he’s not gonna get the apology. Also, he needs to fire his therapist.
First Story, NTA: Jen wants to play the victim and refuses to believe SHE was the problem in the family. Funny how she says she "realized the family dynamic" but won’t acknowledge the fact SHE was the issue Second Story, NTA: I get its her wedding but she is having this wedding on OP's and her husband's property for free. She can’t demand OP take down their decorations in the house if she ain’t even paying OP to have the wedding there. If OP's sister has an issue, she can hold her wedding somewhere else Third Story, YTA: This is blatant favoritism. OP wants to reward his son's failures and punish his daughter's success. She made it into a good college but OP refuses to help with her tuition and gets her a used BMW that he won't even let his daughter keep? His son gets into trade school and gets a certificate, so OP rewards him with a brand new truck AND OP paid for the trade school. Fourth Story, NTA: Lmao, since when is there an expectation to watch someone else's kids at a social event? Especially if u wasn’t asked nor getting paid; if a parent wants a free babysitter at a social function then they are better off leaving their kids at home because no one is responsible for the kid besides the parents of said kids Fifth Story, NTA: Wow, what a MAJOR overreaction to a 13 year old smoking weed. Yes, a 13 year old shouldn’t be smoking at that age and the punishment should’ve been like grounding for a month or something. Sending ur child into some rehab for 3 months is absolutely insane. There is a reason why weed is becoming legal in a lot of states. I don’t smoke myself but I support it 100%; OP's mom pretty much just insulted OP to his face, how is traumatizing a child to the point they won’t ever do drugs "help them"? Comment: I agree Sixth Story, NTA: So OP's unprofessional for refusing to get scammed? Lmao, no. OP's family member agreed to a price and then decided to try and rip OP off? Did she just expect OP to just let that slide? I’m sick of people using being family as an excuse to try to rip their family members off. Final Side Note: This is in case others didn’t see my last 2 comments (this will be the last time I mention it). The AITA mods sucks; they perma-banned me for quoting the OP of a story
@@xKCAZxLEADER unfortunately OP tried to defend himself in the edits but ultimately, but reluctantly, made this decision. No guarantees that there won’t be future posts by him or his daughter
Story 1: “i was the scapegoat because there were actually CONSEQUENCES for my actions. The sister who i abused though NEVER had any” Yeah NTA Op, i think you should sit your sister down and explain (in detail) everything she did and how she is NOT a scapegoat. Good luck
How much time does this bridezilla think her guest are going to spend in the bathroom? Did they cheap out on the catering as well and are only going to serve expired food?
I’m wondering if she feels that the Disney items make her and guests face the reality that the wedding is at someone’s house? Regardless not OPs problem
Story 3: My brothers don’t care about their school, so they get bad grades all the time. My mom praises them if they get anything over a C or B. Meanwhile, I was reprimanded once for going from a B+ to B- in Math (BECAUSE I MISSED INFO FROM SICKNESS AND BOMBED A TEST). I understand that it’s good to reward people when they reach higher leaps than they thought, and you should buy your son a car because he did a massive achievement! But the blatant favoritism from OP towards his son is probably part of the reason she’s moving away for college. It’s probably not he first time. But also, the way he brought up “city girl” like that, I wonder if there are some sexist or just “city people suck” bias too 👀
*First OP:* Looks like Jen needs to look deeper inside herself. It's good that's she's getting therapy, but she has a ways to go. OP is NTA. Shoutout to OP's mom for respecting Chloe's wish to cut contact from Jen. *Second OP:* Setting aside the Disney aspect of things, why should OP and her husband store away items for her sister when no one would have access to it during the wedding? It's also rich that OP's parents told OP and her husband to grow up when OP's sister was the one throwing a hissy fit. OP should charge her sister and/or parents to rent the space if they order her and her husband to remove the Disney items. OP is NTA. *Third OP:* Yeah, I'm calling cap on OP saying he likes both of his children equally. OP is TA. *Fourth OP:* For the time it took the Entitled Parent to chase down OP and scold at him for not looking after her kids, she could've been watching her own dang-gone kids. OP is NTA. *Fifth OP:* OP's sister was fortunate not to experience what OP went through, so it's unfair for her to tell him not to be angry at their mom. OP is NTA. *Sixth OP:* For some reason, I thought OP dropped the kid off at a sidewalk or at her school. If that were the case, I would've said ESH. But since OP dropped the kid off at a trusted relative's home, she's NTA. Moral of the story: don't play with people's money, even (especially) if they're family.
Everyone is just assuming that the middle child knows everything that ever went on. Even before she was born or as a young child. Jen is 8 years older than OP. And OP was prob around 5 before she started making a lot of memories which means about 13 years that OP knows nothing about. Jen's behavior is not ok. She probably WAS the scapegoat though. A lot of them rebel after being blamed for LITERALLY everything. We don't know the whole story. Most people are not just bad people for no reason.
Finally edit on that daughterbmw. He let her keep the car and delist(qhatever this means) but he didn't do it until the second edit. It took everyone absolutely attacking this man before he finally said "OKAY OKAY ILL GIVE HER THE DAMN CAR"
I love how the client / family member was all upity about not being professional when she wasn't even fulfilling the most basic obligation of any business arrangement.
@@callsigngecko4723 She got into a good school for a better career. And she didn't need help with the tuition. Seems like with all the work and money she put into it as well, she also works a really good job. Say you're sexist without saying your sexist.
@@lordhelix2760 because I choose to reward my children equally? The son had to complete trade school and start a career to be rewarded with a new truck. And you want the dad to reward the daughter for completing a basic life expectation? Nah, treat the kids fairly. If the dad bought the son the truck for the son after high school graduation then obviously I’d say he should buy the daughter a car after she graduates from high school, but that’s not what happened. Also fuck you don’t tell me how to live my life my guy.
Last story: Your selfish according to the woman that try to stiff you two hours into babysitting then ignored you when you refuse to let her do it. This is why people say never do business with family members, the people that are supposed to have your back are always going to try and step you to get freebies.
And I’m sure that relative put the nail in the coffin to where she will never babysit for family again. Would be a bummer for any family who legitimately respect OP
6:53 It's not just Disney adults that are being targeted, it's adults who do anything at all that seems immature. There are commercials with Twizzlers right now that keep telling you not to go upstairs or downstairs like a kid because you're an adult now and it's really demeaning and I hate it. If you have an interest that is outside of what is considered to be 'normal' then they target you. 😢
First Story: Wow, not only did she lie to the therapist and make her look like the victim, she then said she not gonna be "disrespected like that" when OP said the truth? Sis, you were a little sh*t growing up, you have no room to say you are "disrespected" when you're the one disrespecting everyone. This girl is a monster, and I hope her fiancee sees this and take action. NTA OP.
@@nicorizzo5402 this! Thank you! This was my exact train of thought as someone abused myself. No sane person screams at an 11 year old unless there is some sort of resentment built because of abuse in the past. Op admits jen was always blamed, regardless of whether it was her or not because of her rebellion. Did anyone consider she rebelled because she was abused?
@@justaperson4656 Exactly. My parents abused me but were very good at hiding it so they've convinced most of the family that I'm the problem and that I'm lying about the abuse.
@@nicorizzo5402 my dad and stepdad did the same. My mum believed me when I verbalised it, but unfortunately was out of it due to medication at the time, so the abuse was never really seen. As far as my siblings were ever concerned, I was just a quiet nerdy kid who spent a lot of time in his bedroom, who grew into an adult who cant let his hair down. In reality, what my closest sister and my mother know is that I shut myself in my room and avoided talking to people in the hopes that it would lessen the abuse from my father, and don't "let my hair down" because my father and stepdad had drinking problems and I don't want to end up like them
My step sister also lies to her therapist, claiming she has 0 support from her family. When in reality her grandparents, her dad, & my mom watch her kids practically every weekend - all four kids, every weekend.
Last Story: REAL family would’ve paid OP the full rates to support their business. OP was way too nice and should’ve walked out the first time they were stiffed out of payment. If records of the agreement were saved, I’d definitely go to small claims or something. If any OTHER family members give grief, send THEM an invoice. Also, these video thumbnails are starting to FREAK me out. I nearly spew my morning coffee every time. 💦
2- NTA, people just hate Disney adults because it’s cool to make fun of them! Being a Disney adult is the same as being a sports fan who colectes and displays sports memorabilia or a goth person with dark decor!
I think people hate Disney Adults because "it's cool" and of the 1% who take it WAYYYY too far and are highly obsessed with anything and everything disney, and ruin it for everyone.
Thank you! I've seen sports fans go crazy, even to the point of mass destruction, and somehow having some Winnie-the-Pooh towels is less mature than rioting after winning the Super Bowl (ok, I don't know sports well, but I remember something like that happening a few years back).
Story 4 deserves a way higher AH score. It's INCREDIBLY dangerous to just assume someone is watching your kid, expecially when they might not know that's what you're assuming!! This is how kids drown in pools and fall from heights
7:52 YTA for choosing sides, then being Callous about her needs. You screwed her over and left her high and dry!! And I am still mad about hearing it!!
man, I always hear horror stories about what goes on in the Troubled Teen Houses or whatever they're called. Those stories always make me look back at the time I was in juvy and make me think about how lucky I was to be sent there instead of one of those "homes"
Fifth story: I'd up OP's mother score to at least 4/5 due to her sending him to a rehab center for using weed like once. That's a overexaggeration and OP was forced to live with people with worst addictions for no proper reason (because that would be bad even if the center was a proper place); I'd also look up for a different therapist. The fact they said OP should get contact back with his parents who were basically abusive when he was a kid to the point he didn't had friends out of fear, and then chasticed OP for finally standing up when his mother went all about how her abuse was actually helpful shows they aren't a good therapist. OP should look up a different professional, and go NC with his parents like he planned, and his sister too (since it looks like she supports their parents abuse against OP even if unconciously).
Last story, never mix business with family or even friends most of the time. It usually ends up being more headaches than it's worth. They always want super low prices to "help us out because we're family/friends" but never want to help out family/friends themselves by paying full price for a service they're getting from said family/friend.
This is why I insist on always asking my friends how much I owe them when I ask them to make me something. They can sell their stuff and do to make extra money. I am more than willing to pay what anyone else would pay. If they try to give me a discount I don’t take it. I saved up and waited to order this so I could pay full price because I love you and you deserve to be paid for your work and your abilities.
Story two: I never understood hating on Disney adults. They like what they like, and that’s pretty harmless. Same with tons of other bullied people with “strange” hobbies
I get the feeling that OP's sister is one of those people who makes the claim that Disney is for kids, even though really, Disney's main target demographic is for everyone, regardless of age. Anyone can enjoy their movies as well as their theme parks. Like, they make a lot of the most amazing and inspiring movies ever. I mean, it's not like OP and her husband are so unhealthy obsessed of Disney. I think the problem is that OP's sister believes that Disney is only for kids, much like, you know, the many stories rSlash told about parents believing that video games, comics or animation is for kids, even though it's not even true at all.
Nah it's not harmless. Supporting one of the most vile corporations in the world that is actively destroying Americana while also supporting child groomers is not ok
First story: If she isn't admitting that she has a problem nor is the problem then she's still in denial. Cut her out but I suggest being willing to let her back in AFTER she gets her shit in order.
I wouldn’t be surprised if Jen never provided the therapist name. May not even have an actual therapist. I just hope the fiancé got a possible glance of who he’s dating and that there may be more to her story
Especially when he shared it with friends. So basically he got sent to rehab and could of gotten hurt or killed by the other kids. For what 20 percent to 33 percent of a joint he shared with his friends. Fucking garbage of a human being the mother is. Just admit you gave up and wanted to get away from your own kid for three months.
Story 2: Thinking the same thing, go rent some porta-potties and keep your guts out my house. OP remind your sister that you're doing her a favor, and if she doesn't like your house she can pay for a venue. I wouldn't do anything more make sure my house was presentable for the wedding, and I bet she doesn't plan on paying for the storage it would take to put that stuff away. P.S why does everyone think adults can enjoy Disney? Disney's biggest look is that it's for everyone, more importantly a good movies a good movie and Disney has made a lot of good movies.
I completely agree, weed isn't for anyone under 19. It alters your brain, but one joint isn't going to irreparably damage your child. Kids are going to do dumb things, they're trying out new stuff and might make mistakes. If a child is constantly using substances there is an underlying issue that needs to be dealt with, sending a kid to rehab over pot is ridiculous, even if they were a chronic smoker. I feel so bad for that guy, kids should be allowed to experiment and tell their parents without consequences as the ladder is them never telling you. Be that safe space for them, cause you'd rather your kid calls you for help than hide it and continue dangerous activities
Story 1: That type of person needs to go to therapy with their family so they can be called on their bs. Ngl it must be hard being a therapist and hearing only one side of the issue and having to trust that your client is being honest with you
Funny tangentially related therapy story. One time me and my two at the time best friends who had just broken up all had the same therapist. So my therapist got to hear 3 different sides of the same breakup.
Fifth Story: I hate when people act like anger or hatred is automatically bad. If it’s not consuming your life, it can even be healthy to feel those things, rather than bottling them up. It took my sister and I years to convince our mother that it’s ok to hate our dad - he’s an asshole. We’re all traumatized by him even though we haven’t seen him in years. I passively hate that guy. There’s no forgiveness, no reconciliation. He’s just a terrible person, and I earned the right to hate him. Same with OP. If they are angry, they have the right. If they want to go NC, they have that right. Also, they should prob get a new therapist if their therapist can’t understand that NC can be extremely healthy in situations like this.
Like all feelings, anger is dangerous if it blinds you, but as a general feeling it's an essential surviving tool, we kept it through thousands of years of natural selection for a reason.
First story: I remember seeing a comment from that post elsewhere saying that actual therapists don't use terms like "golden child" and "scapegoat" No idea if that's accurate, but it raises questions about her therapy if it is.
So I'm very curious about this. Are there furries based on Disney characters like Stitch or any of the animal sidekicks from the movies? It seems like there would be but I'm not a furry so I wouldn't know
My mother sold my car out from underneath me. She made a profit of 2978.63$ yes it is exactly that amount. I have not spoken or written a single word to her since this happened. She almost tore my entire life down and in lucky to still be doing as good as I am because I had to get a new car that same day.
That "Sent you to get help" story and the parent's comments after remind me of my fiancée's family. We met when we were both super young on a forum for a TV show we both liked. We stayed friends for a long time, until we were both in upper teens. Then we became a long distance couple. Well, her parents didn't like that, because I'm a transguy. Her father and step mother made a condition of "You can only do your senior trip for high school if you go to conversion therapy". She made it clear to them that she didn't want to go because it was literally tearing her self-esteem apart. I could see what it was doing to her but, couldn't do anything because of long distance. It didn't stop us, it just hurt her so badly to where it didn't "make her straight" (even though she is, because I'm a guy! Just not CIS) nor did it keep us apart. It only pushed her away because it was abusive! She would tell them what was being said and they'd not believe her. She moved out as soon as she could and has been happier but, the lasting effects are still there regarding self-esteem. They would guilt trip her "Oh, you don't call us every day, so that means you don't love us."- type BS. They demonized me from day 1 because they couldn't see how a transguy could possibly be a good person. I would spend months building up her confidence only for one visit to her family, which I wasn't welcome to go, to tear it all down again. They thought I listened in on phone calls between them, thought I needed to give her permission to call her family, etc. In fact, my fiancée wanted to cut them off ages ago. I encouraged her to just be low contact, because you never know when something bad will happen and blocking communication would maybe lead to regrets. Unfortunately, her father passed away suddenly about 2 months ago. I feel so guilty not feeling sad as she is and maybe feeling some relief that she might be able to finally move on from the damage he'd done in the past. I've kept that thought to myself though and just been trying to support her... Her real mother wasn't any better while growing up. She abused her, screamed at her for things that don't matter, wouldn't let her make her own food, barely even stock food in the first place and usually got takeout all the time. Sold her horse while she was at school, didn't let her say goodbye or anything... Lots of small things that really hurt a kid and leave lasting impacts. School food was essential for her diet because she barely had food at home and the two younger half-sisters always took priority. However, she has come around and accepted me enough to where things are at least pleasant when visiting. Point is, parents, don't think your child needs help for little things or just because you don't approve of them. Take the time to learn about the details. If your kid is gay (or experimenting) or smokes weed, that doesn't mean you need to tear down their entire sense of self. It does far more harm than good. They will remember it... and it will impact them the rest of their lives. It will affect every relationship they ever have. It will cost them money to fix it in therapy as an adult or lead to a spiral of other issues. They may even cut you off as soon as they can. Take the moment to think "does this really matter? Are they happy and healthy? Is this something that will crush them or push them away?" Just because you don't like it or understand it doesn't mean it needs to be fixed. Your child will not be just like you. They should be BETTER than you. There's serious issues, like addiction to hard drugs, being violent or abusive or a criminal.... then there's not knowing their sexuality and wanting to experiment or trying weed with a friend... You can support them in teaching them to be safe in trying those things. Let them get life experience. They will experience it eventually anyway, with or without your permission. Teaching them to be safe about it will teach them caution and lead to a better bond because you are supervising, not prohibiting.
2nd story: I love in these types of stories you can tell where the kids get it from. The sister is acting super entitled, and the parents are telling the OTHER sister to "grow up". If it was my kid I would tell her to go pay for a wedding venue if the free one isn't good enough. Also, if it was my property, I would probably tell my sibling to rent portable toilets (as rslash suggested) anyway, as I wouldn't want a parade of guests passing through my house to use the bathroom. 3rd story: "I love my kids equally". If you're going out of your way to say it...
I also would have them rent port-o-potties, having tons of people pass in and out my house would give me an anxiety attack. Especially if I had so many sentimental/special decorations like they appear to have
Yo, that guy who was selling his daughters used beater car is getting shredded in the comments. He even told one guy "We paid for my daughters health care when she was younger and felt we needed to give him something to so we bought him a truck." Then tried to justify not buying her a car by saying "Well we bought it for him after he finished trade school." Yeah because he had no motivation in life and wouldn't have done squat unless you did. This guy is showing clear favoritism and the fact that he's blind to that is astounding.
Say what you want about RSlash, he might have bad takes but at least he allows open discussion without walking on eggshells unlike the AITA subreddit where you can’t even say “Karen” or “entitled brat”.
Or *any* mention of "violence." There was one a few days ago about a tutor who carried a pocket knife, and used it to open a zip tie. The mom of the student thought it was a dangerous weapon. Removed for "violence." AITA is moderated like shit by shitty people.
Yeah, and that biggest thing is that a lot of his bad takes are him literally misreading the story. Rslash makes mistakes but it normally isn’t all that bad
I think the ban was a mix of that but also to cut on the fake stories that became popular at the time, it was a dark time where there was hundreds of stories of “this Karen and her entitled brat tried to steal [insert here] from me in public and called the cops when I wouldn’t give it to her?!?” (Might also be a keep those key words to the boards for them)
Story 5: it’s not rehab facilities that lie to parents, it’s those old “corrective boarding schools”. Private rehab facilities have a lot of state oversight, especially when they’re basically expensive spas. And it’s common practice for involuntary patients to be left in their rooms for most of the day, it’s actually an indication that OP was being treated as untrustworthy as their weird roommate, they may have lashed out in frustration during intake (which is a really harsh process to be fair).
@@Tustin2121or some it can be, for people withdrawing from harder drugs it can be nice to be able to have a semi-private space because they are feeling really unwell. But I am assuming that they had the option to leave the room, because the only a state mental hospital I’ve ever worked at needed to have clear paperwork and rules regarding locking doors. It was only ever for patient safety and for maybe a few hours at a time or until the pt could agree to be safe. Maybe rehabs are different? However, a 13 year old with a “weed problem” should not have been roomed with a 17 year old suffering from meth /pill detox. It isn’t a good match for either of them. I just can’t believe the parents thought that rehab was the solution for a 13 year old rather than therapy.
Story 5: here's the thing, even if she would doing what she thought was best, taking credit for all of your accomplishments like that is never okay. From what I hear going the rehab was the worst experience of your life, and your mom is gloating about it like she should be given a medal but will settle for taking credit for any of the success you have. I don't blame you for snapping and agree that this just means you two need to have a talk about everything that happened.
9:22 HOLY MOLY people leaving kids unsupervised. A few years ago I was camping with my boys (10 & 8 at the time) at a camp ground with a small sandy beach. Around 7 pm my boys are playing in the water, I was reading and not many people were around. Another family with a child about 4 years old is letting the child go out into the water, adults aren't going in the water. The 4 year old kept trying to go to where my boys are, it got a little unsafe and my older son went and took the hand of the tot and walked her back to the adults then went back to his playing. All sorted, right? WRONG! THEY LEFT THE TOT ON THE BEACH ALONE!! They didn't say anything, just left a child alone on a beach with strangers?! The small child kept trying to walk out to where my kids were, I obviously stepped in because I don't want to watch a child die. There was no cell service and I had no idea where the family might be. My older son got panicky that a child would drown trying to reach him so went to the small playground and played with little one. About 45 minutes later the family came back and said to me "he'll be a great father one day, he's good with little ones" 😮😳😱
Wow. Just wow. That is horrendous. When I was 8 I was playing with my dog on the beach, I was in water up to my calf and I got hit by a sudden wave that had a super strong undertow. I would have drowned if my dad hadn’t been right there and been strong enough to pull me back to shore. He was a full grown and strong man and he had a hard time grabbing me back from the undertow. I couldn’t imagine the stupidity of entrusting a 4 year old to a strange 8 year old at the beach. Just horrendous.
Hearing RSlash defend disney adults and furries actually made me very happy, like cmon people. Just let people live their lives. Over here in the netherlands we say something like: Leven en laten leven. This just basically means, live your life and let others live their own lol. Anyways, another great video RSlash. Thanks :D
The major issue a lot of people have with ‘Disney adults’ is that it’s borderline worship of a megacorporation that routinely violates human rights in the name of corporate greed. Furries are just dressing up in (oftentimes homemade) suits, attending group hangout events, and maybe expressing their sexuality, depending on the group. Nobody is saying that adults shouldn’t enjoy Disney, people are saying that adults who theme their houses around Disney, who visit the parks twice a year, and who buy every Disney item available, should maybe not make their lives orbit around the company that regularly erases queer people just so they can sell their products in phobic countries.
Story 5: It appears OP doesn't have an account any more, or at least Reddit can't find it, so I don't know if we'll get an update. I hope OP finds a better therapist, goes NC with mom if she doesn't acknowledge anything after a heart to heart. I hope OP can heal no matter what his choices for the future with his family are.
Yep, sending a kid to rehab for smoking ONE joint is a nuclear reaction. It ain't that rehab is bad, but pretty much like you don't give morphine to someone that scratched their knee you don't send someone, especially a 13-year-old kid, to rehab for one joint.
Story 2: If it was star wars alone, no one would bat an eye. If it was just faeries, no one would bat an eye. But for some reason people get a stick up their arse when it comes to adults and Disney. As an adult who visited Disney for the first time at 28 (and can't wait to go back), Disney is for EVERYONE! Also, people enter my house and complain about the horses: horse posters, horse tack, horse models.... more models... I'm not exaggerating when I say 300+ models... but then they learn that I work at a therapy barn, and suddenly my "horse obsession" is okay because "you help kids". No, I got the job because I like horses, and I like helping people....
I would suggest OP asking the sister to do a group session with her doctor and hear her out. We hear the story from OP, but that may be with rose glasses.
Story 1: NTA. The problem with therapy is people lie to their therapist and use what the therapist tells them to play the victim. My guess is when the sister gets married, her mask will slip and the fiancé will be in hell wondering why he ignored the red flags from the meeting with OP.
I honestly don't get people who expect other people to just watch their kids at events, now my dad would have me and my older brother watch our siblings but he wouldn't just leave unless he told one of us first, sure he wouldn't pay attention but outright leaving?? Like wat
The only way story two the sister wouldn't have been an asshole is "hey sis, I was wondering if you could maybe consider packing the Disney stuff on the first floor away for the wedding. Not that I have a problem with it, but I don't want people who are drunken looking for the bathroom to damage them." That's literally the only way.
I feel like there's more to story 1. Op admits jen was always the suspect, regardless of the reason. Did anyone ask why jen got in a screaming match with chloe? Obviously I'm not condoning that, but if chloe was the one praised and jen was always blamed, resentment will build. I wonder if jen has trauma in regards to the family that led to her rebellion and obvious resentment, and her therapist interpreted that as a golden child dynamic.
1st story seems extremely biased, and honestly it’s nearly impossible to know who’s the narcissist and who’s the scapegoat from the inside. OP’s examples of her sisters alcoholism, acting out, over all temperament, and the change that happened in her personality when she left home are all in line with the scapegoat. 🤷🏾♀️And quite frankly even OP believe her she wasn’t the scapegoat, that was out of line and the results are more harm than good. Her therapist is working with her, and this is what stage they are at. If she’s a narcissist ok she’s doing it for the praise….ok her behavior towards is still changing for the better but if she really was the scapegoat you just invalidated her after she reached out to you. And yes I’m biased because I my mother is a narcissist who convinced my family for decades that I was the narcissist it’s took me leaving home and for her to start turning on my little sister for anyone INCLUDING my little sister herself to believe me.
These were my thoughts too. According to an uncritical reading of OP's account, sure, sister is TAH and he's not. But the account seems pretty one-sided and lacking in insight.
Well, if someone's an alcoholic, we all know who stole the booze. If someone gets brought home by the cops, you know who's in the wrong. Yeah, no, my sister is the same way, and she's a total asshole, even at 57. She makes herself the scapegoat while she has broken the law several times, but somehow that's my fault (I don't live with her btw, but she's badmouthing me to our extended family.) Nah, I'm sure that sis is lying her tits off to the shrink, painting herself as the victim. A swift kick in the ass is what she needs, and her fiance should listen very carefully to his future family in law, and think really hard if the trouble he'll get wil l be worth it; narcissists never really change their ways, they only get more subtle.
The fourth story can basically be looked at as a checklist: 1. Are they OP's kids? 2. Did OP agree to look after them? 3. Is OP the host? If either of the first two are true, then yes, OP is the AH. If just the third one is true, OP shouldn't necessarily watch the kids but, in my opinion, they should at least mention to the parents that they need to watch their kids and supervise them or they are not welcome anymore. Spoiler alert: none of the above are true. OP is NTA
Story 3: while I wholeheartedly agree that the OP is deserving of an AH score for obvious favoritism and then having the audacity to sell the car, I definitely don't agree with rslash or anyone claiming that the son was being rewarded for "failure" or that the sister has a "brighter future". As someone with a bachelor's degree but holding a blue collar job irrelevant to that degree, people should really stop looking down on trades. I make more money at mine then some of my PhD friends.
Nah the mother in the weed story deserves 4/5. She put a child in rehab for smoking weed once! The way op described it, 18 hrs a day stuck in that room sounds like a prison. Op was 13 years old! 13! I don’t care how ignorant the mother was of the hell she put op through. I hope she gets the no contact treatment
I remember a story where this guy was trapped in a room like that but with a mirror for days and days on end for a couple years, the only time he got to talk to people was with a therapist or when one of the guards basically came to bully him- he now suffers with longterm hallucinations, anxiety, depression, and a bunch of other health issues. Hearing another story like that is so damn heartbreaking, how can people just do that to their own children or just to another being in general??
When I was 16 in rehab they lied to parents ALL THE TIME, when I got there they told my parents that they found heroin in my bags. Little did the rehab know, I have a heart condition that would cause me to have a massive stroke if I did anything like heroin. My parents were immediately suspicious but I was court ordered to be there so it took three months for them to get me out of there
BBQ story: GOOD parents don’t leave their children like that unless they ask first. And it’s usually only to ask if they’ll be out there for a minute so they can run to the restroom or fix a plate or something. That woman was out of line on multiple levels. NOT the bad guy. At all.
Third story. The father was just rewarding his son because he finally succeeded and found something he can do. It's not favoritism, it's kinda the daughters fault for thinking she'll get something too and that the father would wait till the cars rusted.
@@bryannablake I do understand favoritism and I can say that that isn't favoritism. Seeing as he has a HVAC he's most likely going to need that truck and OP was probably just happy that his child who was not doing so well and constantly trying to find what he wanted to do In life finally found something and wanted to reward him. I wouldn't call that favoritism.
Son: Does a mediocre job all through school, barely scraping by. Finally does something right after school. Dad: Here's a brand new truck, free and clear! Daughter: Kicks ass academically all through high school, works hard and goes to college. Dad: Uuuh, here. Have this beat up old POS that you have to fix right away AND maintain with your own money. Oh and by the way, I'm taking it whenever I feel like it, regardless if you take good care of it and whether or not you still need it. No favoritism here at all. ¬_¬
Troubled teens story: its 3.5 for me: sending your teen kid away, especially YOUNG teen, should be an absolute last resort. It sounds like instead of attempting to parent OP in any real way, they just sent him to an abuse factory The fact is, the entire "troubked teen" industry is rife with abuse and beyond that, studies have shown that sending kids out of home is more often detrimental. Rather than fixing the problems, it just makes things worse. Now, obviously some kids have to be sent away, but that should be reserved for the most extreme cases.
This is what typically happens. Someone that was not the most decent person tries changing and when everyone around them doesn't immediately just forgive and forget and move on like they want everyone to, they act like oh why are you treating me like this? I'm changing. Like yes, you are changing, but when you've gone years of the same behavior people come to expect certain things from you and you can't blame them for expecting something out of your own habit.
Story One: this is why I always want to hear all sides of the story whenever I hear a story of someone complaining about being the scapegoat in their family. I think if we’d heard this story from Jen’s POV, people would be talking very differently.
story 4: there's no such thing as a good adolescent program. I was in and out of programs for most of my life, and while adult ones can range from not doing much to genuinely helpful, every adolescent program I've seen or heard of has been more interested in keeping its clients from being headaches to their parents, usually by isolating them and keeping them under harsh rules and fiat, than it has been in helping them. and those are the good ones that aren't straight up abusive
God... Story 5. For a little context to people who don't know about those facilities, I was in one, and let me tell you that they are underfunded hellholes. I was made to share a tiny room not with one person, but two. One of which snored, but was generally fine, the other of which was an asshole. He bullied the staff for extra food (which is fair, they give you a single plate of food, was weirdly good tho.) He also fought and threatened nearly everyone there, he stole from me and others, and was generally the definition of "belligerent". The staff, when I felt genuinely UNSAFE in my room, wouldn't allow me to move. There were EMPTY rooms, and they would not let me swap rooms when concerned for my life. The worst part is I was actually in there willingly (working through some mental health stuff) and was legally allowed to leave. Yet when I tried to ask to be release the staff THREATENED me with revoking my outpatient care through them unless I stayed until I was "released properly". Being in there literally drove me crazy. I'm not talking cabin fever "I gotta get out of here," crazy, I started hearing (comforting) voices as a sort of self defense mechanism. And you guys want to know how long I was in there? A little under a WEEK that I qualify as the worst time of my life. Imagine three months of that hell. OP's mom deserves 5/5 assholes just for sending a KID to one of those places. Sorry for the rant but y'all need to understand how shitty those public facilities are. Now I admit that I'm American where all healthcare sucks and is like this, let alone mental health stuff, and I have no clue where OP is from. But I felt you guys needed a picture of what those places are really like.
I am so sorry that you had such a horrendous time. I hope you were able to get the proper care you needed and deserved. It really is just horrible how limited mental healthcare is in the US.
In the story with the marijuana 'rehab' the therapist also deserves a huge butthole score. Make amends with the abusive parent?!? UGH! This type of therapist is dangerous and ought to have their license revoked. I hope OP fires this quack and find someone who is supportive of OP and OP's healing journey.
Story 3 OH SO a deadbeat dad abusing his motivated daughter gets 2/5 holes, but the guy yesterday that was contributing to his own baby's care and just not putting away some rags gets 2.5/5? get your priorities straight Danby, wtf is this discrimination.
His discrimination in these stories isn’t new. He constantly contradicts what he says in previous videos and white knights every female even if the female is in the wrong. Hell he even called a husband in one story (not in this video) selfish because he stayed home instead of taking an Xmas vacation with his family when it was the anniversary of HIS FATHERS DEATH. Dabbed had the dxck and balls to actually say “yeah, their grandpas dead but wouldn’t it be great to celebrate with their other grandpa” Keep in mind that the kids NEVER spent Xmas with the husbands family, only the wife’s. Dabney at this point is just an unsavable cuck.
13:47 because she didn’t cause any damage? This is classic. “I got caught therefore me angry at consequences” Also, I have an odd feeling that the story is made up because it sounds like someone just googled psych ward and looked at a TH-cam video of a movie scene . Surprise biawtch! The worst thing I’ve come across is university student studying you, but that’s only if the hospital itself is affiliated with a uni 14:12 psychology wards, have a very bad reputation anyway. Warranted? Doubtful
I genuinely think there's a difference between adult Disney fans and Disney Adults™️ there are PLENTY of Disney movies and franchises I ADORE as an adult but I don't let it wrap my entire life and personality. Hell last summer I went to Disneyland and had a blast and then damn near had a brain break because a parent was scolding her kid who they had unironically named Anikin 💀 Just the idea of absolutely adoring, or obsessing, or just centering large corporate entities in your personal life is just so fucked. Imagine having a parasocial relationship with someone who only sees you as a boost to their profit margins. I feel the same about people who get tattoos of brands, or sneaker heads etc. 😅😅
In Finland. Lots of people collect moomin mugs and other moomin themed things. Even my parents collect them. If someone told my parents to hide those said moomin mugs they better be happy to be drinking from Paper cups because we don't have enough coffee/teacups to give to the guests plus there's nothing to be ashamed of for collecting things you like just like with Moomin and Disney. Some people would see it even as normal honestly.
On the first story I would strongly recommend that OP and Jen have a shared appointment with Jen’s therapist. OP can tell her side, of what she experienced and observed growing up with Jen. I have a feeling there’s more to this family’s story than OP is sharing in her post.
Story 2 was really a "Hakuna Matata" moment the bride really need to see her "Reflection" in the mirror to see how piss poor her attitude is. Correct butt-holes score given. (Singing) "Your Welcome". By the way Disney deserves 5 out of 5 Butt-holes for ruining The Little Mermaid. ( No its not because of the actress playing Ariel)
How to know you’re probably favoring one child over the other: When you have to reiterate that you love both your children equally before you even tell the story.
Disney wedding: I would give them a little dose of MC. They want the disney stuff gone? EVERYTHING would be gone. Couches, chairs, curtains, tables. Sorry sis, the only toilet paper we use has Baymax on it.
Fifth Story: I don't get your logic while rating the mom. She sent her 13 year old to a place where he's be locked up with unstable teens much older than him. A lot worse could have happened to OP if his roommate was a different kind of person. Not to mention the adults in the facility. It doesn't matter if the facility lied to her or how much she knew. SHE (and rhe dad) is the one that sent him there in the first place instead of talking to him or taking him to normal counseling. What she did was horrible no matter how you frame it. She opened her child up to be abused over a SINGLE JOINT and still has no remorse over it. If I was a mother and did that to my child I would NEVER forgive myself thinking about how scared he would be or what could've happened to him. Seems like OP's mom forgave herself and started congratulating herself pretty quickly. AT LEAST 3/5 asshole score.
My wife and I had one of those luxury portapotties at our wedding... it was AMAZING! Smelled great the whole reception, and it was actual porcelain fixtures too
Rewarding failure is even worse! Just looked it up and he seemed to have unlisted the car but his initial argument as to why the son got a new truck and she didn't when confronted with money spending was that he had to spend more money on her daughter for medical reasons than for the son. WTF?!?!
Wow, the dad keeps getting WORSE
@@lonedogjerome yep. He said that her medically required braces were akin to cosmetic surgery, and "since she got cosmetic work done, it's only fair that my son gets the same amount of money (in the form of the truck)"
@@justaperson4656what an asshole. Braces can be cosmetic but most people have them for big medical reasons.
@@justaperson4656 what an idiot😂
It’s interesting that he waited until his daughter had spent tons of money fixing up that piece of crap he bought before flipping it. He didn’t just treat her unfairly but outright took advantage of her to make money. What a complete @sshole.
"You don't need the same treatment as your brother because it's different situations", then ten seconds later "I didn't do that for your brother, so why should I do it for you?" To think someone would write that and not realize how messed up that logic is...
Ikr?! Such a flip, how'd he not notice
As a mom, I would NEVER leave my kids unsupervised at a family event. 89% of SA of minors are by family members or family "friends." Unless it's someone I trust, I always watch my own kids.
Can't take parents who quietly disappear when they see another adult around their kids at an event, assuming without confirming that the adult in question will take over responsibility.
Jen isn't a scapegoat. She's a narcissist
"I love all my children equally" *shows extreme and obvious favoritism* yeah okay
narcissists are incapable of realizing when they do wrong and challenging their vision of the world is difficult,the only way her therapist can work with her in the aspect of acknowledge her mistakes is if OP or her mom go as well and give more panoramic
I wonder what she said to the therapist. I also wonder what investigation the therapist did.
Npd is a disorder that stems from childhood trauma. Not just some label to throw at every bad person ever. You do realize that right
@@dinlupus3196they’re not incapable but it is extremely difficult
If she is a narcissist then she probably /was/ being abused by their parents in some way. Just saying.(not defending her. She honestly reminds me of my sister who I have a terrible relationship with. I just feel it’s necessary to point out)
Story 5: so the mother is proud for putting OP through something that left him, and I quote: "too scared to have friends." OP needs to fire their therapist. Preferably using a paper bag full of pig diarrhea.
She knew this was messed up. 5/5 Assholes for her.
OP was a troubled teen, his mom sent him to a facility for troubled teens. What else was she supposed to do if his behavior was only getting worse?
Either way, the experience did turn him around.
@@mongoose9851 IT WAS WEED
@@mongoose9851 it did help turn him around, I will give the mother that much. But at what cost? It sounds like OP was outright traumatized by the experience. And traumatizing your own child, even if you had good intentions, is nothing to be proud of.
@@mongoose9851 her reaction was like seeing someone snatch a cheap chocolate from a convenience store, and sending them for years to a high-security jail. She didn't send him to a place for troubled teens, she sent him straight up to a rehab facility with other teens with way worst drug problems like meth, all for smoking weed only once;
She went overboard, basically traumatized OP for no reason, and is now acting like she was right for doing it. No matter how troubled OP was as a teen, he wasn't on the level to make what she did even barely justifiable.
I was one of those kids who was sent to a boarding school for at risk teens. I was only 14 and didn't do drugs or anything. It got shut down years ago for child abuse but the damage was done. My guardian still doesn't acknowledge the damage done and I have PTSD from it... I'm almost 37. Some things just stick with you
The troubled teen industry is one of the most fucked industries to exist and that’s saying something. I’ve never heard a story that wasn’t of horrific abuse.
@@beebs4283 we wouldn't likely hear the non-abusive stories as they don't make good stories, but the stories we do hear are enough to know there is a problem.
@@autisticwitch7581 I love your profile name ♾️
First story: Jen is such a narcissistic instigator. She still thinks she’s the victim in all this even when Op calls her out.
Maybe she will follow Chloe’s lead now?
She may actually be a victim too though. A lot of times victims of abuse act out and OP may have never seen the abuse because most abusers are really good at hiding it.
@@lorilancaster5917 are you talking about Chloe from Life is Strange?
And here we see yet another person randomly diagnosing people with a personality disorder after one story. Fun.
@@superphantom100 Chloe is OPs younger sister
Really sad that people think its "tacky and childish" to love Disney as an adult. So much for "magic and fun for all ages" i guess?
Not everyone plays into the ridiculous Disney hype. But OP has no obligation to change her home decor to please Bridezilla.
I took my friends kids to watch Disney movies, so I didn't have to be a "creepy single", watching Cartoons.
@@ItsMeBarnaby That's a stupid thing to say. Let people enjoy whatever silly thing they want in their own home.
@@ItsMeBarnabyt’s funny you tell people to “grow up” but you can’t accept other people’s interests. If you can’t accept people then you are just a petulant child.
Choosing to dislike Disney simply because it is "made for kids" (they know full and well who their audience is) is about as childish as a boy choosing to dislike pink because "it's a girl color".
Can we acknowledge how awesome the daughter in the car story is? She took charge of taking care of her car while going to college and studying. How is OP not more proud of her???
Nepotism
@@NITESHADOWshouske sorry? Don’t you mean sexism? Can’t be nepotism when both are his kids
@@lorilancaster5917 neposexitism
@@khrishp I laughed so hard when I saw that 🤣🤣🤣... but you're not wrong
@@lorilancaster5917 The daughter is such a Nepo Baby.
Story 4: You can't just expect some random stranger to watch your children at an outing, especially without letting them know. It makes you look bad. Nobody wants to deal with surprise babysitting, that throws things into a tailspin
And face it no one wants to be an unpaid babysitter to a party that they are as much of a guest to as anyone else
Agreed, if you bring your kid to a party, you and all the other parents who did the same can go hangout on the deck together and watch the kids. Otherwise, get an actual babysitter, leave them home alone if they're old enough or don't go to the party.
Why is no one pointing out the fact that OP was sitting in a car after drinking beer on thier phone when that entitled parent walked up?!
We need more details on op whether or not he was the driver!
If not, easy 0/5 bad guys
But if he is the driver then he gets 4/5 bad guys for drinking and driving!
Omg yes. I don't know who the heck decided that just because I'm the youngest in my generation that I'm the designated babysitter at family events, but they need a reality check if they think that the stoner aunt is the smart option as a babysitter. Lol.
@@seanshanleyAnimeUWLPer If it was only 1 or 2 beers, he’s okay. It’s not like he chugged 5 beers and got right behind the wheel. Jesus Christ.
Story where the parent yelled at OP for not watching the kids at the pool. The correct answer from OP:
“Are they my kids? No. Are you paying me to watch them? No. Therefore it’s not my problem. Easy solution here. You try to actually be a responsible parent.”
And why was OP even singled out? He’s a guy apparently with no kids and he’s been drinking and mingling with others. And I don’t recall in the story where he even talked to any of the kids.
@@lorilancaster5917 wrong place, wrong time
@@raarasunai4896 valid point
Story 2: As RSlash said, if she doesn't want Disney items, she'll just have to book somewhere else or rent some of those high quality port-a-potties. It's not childish to only have a couple Winnie-the-Pooh towels in the bathroom, who thinks that?
I see where she is coming from, but it's not that bad, I never really cared what the towels I used looked like as long as they weren't waterlogged.
Honestly, it's more of a conversation starter than anything. And that's one of those cute stories that would fit the day
The sister was complaining that people would have to walk through OP's first floor and they would see the collectibles. But...so what? If that's a deal breaker sister can get married in a local park and people can use the public restrooms 😂
I’m waiting for this post to make an appearance on a choosing beggars link
Pooh: oh bother. Mr Robin had taco Bell again
Yeah I’m the same. As long as it’s soft and absorbant. I’m fine.
On the third story how does op even pretend he's not picking favorites. He helped his son but refused to help his daughter. He got a 99 and if this is recent that car had to be super old. It also sounds like he didn't offer to sell the car to his daughter for a small fee. OP is an awful parent.
if I remember right from another channel someone found the post and in the comments OP the father said he is treating them equally because he had to get her braces or something like that. So that is why he didn't want to get her a new car. That he had a "hard time" paying for stuff. even though he didn't really struggle at all. He is punishing his daughter for needing braces at a young age.
@@mistyalmondweb I'm sure his son has gotten injured or needed medical treatment and didn't hold it over his head. What an ass.
Also, even a bare bones F150 can cost upwards of $40k without even blinking (based on this year's model MSRP). Even in a good out of state college, that's a whole year of tuition and a bit left over. He could easily have done that, or even just sucked it up and gotten her a car, even a cheaper sedan.
@@mistyalmondwebdude that is fucked. I hope she goes nc
Fr bruh even I'm not as bad as a parent as that, and the only parenting I've ever experienced is sims (my house burned down and everyone died)
Even if we were to go with her narrative that she acted out because she was the scapegoat, then still she needs to take accountability for the terrible things she did AFTER turning 18. A 22 year old yelling at an 11 year old is not being a scapegoat, they're being a violently hateful person. Trauma never excuses our actions even if it explains it, she can have her moment of "oh my god i was abused" without making herself THE victim. She was still a grown woman making everyone's life a living hell.
Yeah tbh if you're an adult being scapegoated and you take it out on a child? Then youre also awful. No 11 yr old can do shit that harmful to someone who is literally twice their age.
Like even if she is the scapegoat, "figuring out the family dynamic" doesn't mean she is free of apologizing for the way she harmed her other siblings
Rehab story: No OP isn’t hurting themselves by hanging onto anger. They’re hurting themselves by staying in contact with these toxic people.
He can’t grow and move on until there is a sincere apology from his mother as a first step
@@lorilancaster5917 Never gonna happen.
That much became apparent when mom almost broke her arm patting herself of the back.
@@lorilancaster5917- He can certainly grow and move on without the apology, but he needs to cut contact to do that. He can’t stay if he’s not gonna get the apology. Also, he needs to fire his therapist.
@@Tustin2121 I meant growth with his family. But yeah he definitely needs a new therapist
First Story, NTA: Jen wants to play the victim and refuses to believe SHE was the problem in the family. Funny how she says she "realized the family dynamic" but won’t acknowledge the fact SHE was the issue
Second Story, NTA: I get its her wedding but she is having this wedding on OP's and her husband's property for free. She can’t demand OP take down their decorations in the house if she ain’t even paying OP to have the wedding there. If OP's sister has an issue, she can hold her wedding somewhere else
Third Story, YTA: This is blatant favoritism. OP wants to reward his son's failures and punish his daughter's success. She made it into a good college but OP refuses to help with her tuition and gets her a used BMW that he won't even let his daughter keep? His son gets into trade school and gets a certificate, so OP rewards him with a brand new truck AND OP paid for the trade school.
Fourth Story, NTA: Lmao, since when is there an expectation to watch someone else's kids at a social event? Especially if u wasn’t asked nor getting paid; if a parent wants a free babysitter at a social function then they are better off leaving their kids at home because no one is responsible for the kid besides the parents of said kids
Fifth Story, NTA: Wow, what a MAJOR overreaction to a 13 year old smoking weed. Yes, a 13 year old shouldn’t be smoking at that age and the punishment should’ve been like grounding for a month or something. Sending ur child into some rehab for 3 months is absolutely insane. There is a reason why weed is becoming legal in a lot of states. I don’t smoke myself but I support it 100%; OP's mom pretty much just insulted OP to his face, how is traumatizing a child to the point they won’t ever do drugs "help them"?
Comment: I agree
Sixth Story, NTA: So OP's unprofessional for refusing to get scammed? Lmao, no. OP's family member agreed to a price and then decided to try and rip OP off? Did she just expect OP to just let that slide? I’m sick of people using being family as an excuse to try to rip their family members off.
Final Side Note: This is in case others didn’t see my last 2 comments (this will be the last time I mention it). The AITA mods sucks; they perma-banned me for quoting the OP of a story
Third story: Op posted an update on another site. He sees the error he’s made and will unlist the car and help his daughter out financially
@@lorilancaster5917glad to hear that
@@xKCAZxLEADER unfortunately OP tried to defend himself in the edits but ultimately, but reluctantly, made this decision. No guarantees that there won’t be future posts by him or his daughter
@@lorilancaster5917wooow
@@lorilancaster5917 I'm not surprised he tried to defend himself when his post is literally oozing with favoritism.
Story 1: “i was the scapegoat because there were actually CONSEQUENCES for my actions. The sister who i abused though NEVER had any”
Yeah NTA Op, i think you should sit your sister down and explain (in detail) everything she did and how she is NOT a scapegoat.
Good luck
How much time does this bridezilla think her guest are going to spend in the bathroom? Did they cheap out on the catering as well and are only going to serve expired food?
I’m wondering if she feels that the Disney items make her and guests face the reality that the wedding is at someone’s house? Regardless not OPs problem
Story 3: My brothers don’t care about their school, so they get bad grades all the time. My mom praises them if they get anything over a C or B. Meanwhile, I was reprimanded once for going from a B+ to B- in Math (BECAUSE I MISSED INFO FROM SICKNESS AND BOMBED A TEST). I understand that it’s good to reward people when they reach higher leaps than they thought, and you should buy your son a car because he did a massive achievement! But the blatant favoritism from OP towards his son is probably part of the reason she’s moving away for college. It’s probably not he first time. But also, the way he brought up “city girl” like that, I wonder if there are some sexist or just “city people suck” bias too 👀
*First OP:* Looks like Jen needs to look deeper inside herself. It's good that's she's getting therapy, but she has a ways to go. OP is NTA. Shoutout to OP's mom for respecting Chloe's wish to cut contact from Jen.
*Second OP:* Setting aside the Disney aspect of things, why should OP and her husband store away items for her sister when no one would have access to it during the wedding? It's also rich that OP's parents told OP and her husband to grow up when OP's sister was the one throwing a hissy fit. OP should charge her sister and/or parents to rent the space if they order her and her husband to remove the Disney items. OP is NTA.
*Third OP:* Yeah, I'm calling cap on OP saying he likes both of his children equally. OP is TA.
*Fourth OP:* For the time it took the Entitled Parent to chase down OP and scold at him for not looking after her kids, she could've been watching her own dang-gone kids. OP is NTA.
*Fifth OP:* OP's sister was fortunate not to experience what OP went through, so it's unfair for her to tell him not to be angry at their mom. OP is NTA.
*Sixth OP:* For some reason, I thought OP dropped the kid off at a sidewalk or at her school. If that were the case, I would've said ESH. But since OP dropped the kid off at a trusted relative's home, she's NTA. Moral of the story: don't play with people's money, even (especially) if they're family.
Op did say that Jen might be lying to her therapist, plus when will liar admit that they’re lying.
Everyone is just assuming that the middle child knows everything that ever went on. Even before she was born or as a young child. Jen is 8 years older than OP. And OP was prob around 5 before she started making a lot of memories which means about 13 years that OP knows nothing about. Jen's behavior is not ok. She probably WAS the scapegoat though. A lot of them rebel after being blamed for LITERALLY everything. We don't know the whole story. Most people are not just bad people for no reason.
The therapist is painting the mom as a narc with those dynamic terms....
Finally edit on that daughterbmw. He let her keep the car and delist(qhatever this means) but he didn't do it until the second edit. It took everyone absolutely attacking this man before he finally said "OKAY OKAY ILL GIVE HER THE DAMN CAR"
He's not even giving her the car. He only took it off the for sale sign, but still plans on selling it.
Delist meaning to remove the for sale listings he posted
I wonder if she can get money from the work she put into it if she takes that asshole to court.
I love how the client / family member was all upity about not being professional when she wasn't even fulfilling the most basic obligation of any business arrangement.
Third story: OP says he loves his kids equally. What a liar.
He rewarded the son for completing higher education and starting a career. What has the daughter done to be rewarded?
@@callsigngecko4723 nothing. She knew it was being sold.
@@callsigngecko4723 don't have children
@@callsigngecko4723 She got into a good school for a better career. And she didn't need help with the tuition. Seems like with all the work and money she put into it as well, she also works a really good job. Say you're sexist without saying your sexist.
@@lordhelix2760 because I choose to reward my children equally? The son had to complete trade school and start a career to be rewarded with a new truck. And you want the dad to reward the daughter for completing a basic life expectation? Nah, treat the kids fairly. If the dad bought the son the truck for the son after high school graduation then obviously I’d say he should buy the daughter a car after she graduates from high school, but that’s not what happened. Also fuck you don’t tell me how to live my life my guy.
Last story: Your selfish according to the woman that try to stiff you two hours into babysitting then ignored you when you refuse to let her do it. This is why people say never do business with family members, the people that are supposed to have your back are always going to try and step you to get freebies.
And I’m sure that relative put the nail in the coffin to where she will never babysit for family again. Would be a bummer for any family who legitimately respect OP
6:53
It's not just Disney adults that are being targeted, it's adults who do anything at all that seems immature. There are commercials with Twizzlers right now that keep telling you not to go upstairs or downstairs like a kid because you're an adult now and it's really demeaning and I hate it. If you have an interest that is outside of what is considered to be 'normal' then they target you. 😢
First Story: Wow, not only did she lie to the therapist and make her look like the victim, she then said she not gonna be "disrespected like that" when OP said the truth? Sis, you were a little sh*t growing up, you have no room to say you are "disrespected" when you're the one disrespecting everyone. This girl is a monster, and I hope her fiancee sees this and take action. NTA OP.
She may not have lied to her therapist at all. Nobody seems to take into account that her parents may have abused her behind the scenes.
@@nicorizzo5402 this! Thank you! This was my exact train of thought as someone abused myself. No sane person screams at an 11 year old unless there is some sort of resentment built because of abuse in the past. Op admits jen was always blamed, regardless of whether it was her or not because of her rebellion. Did anyone consider she rebelled because she was abused?
@@justaperson4656 Exactly. My parents abused me but were very good at hiding it so they've convinced most of the family that I'm the problem and that I'm lying about the abuse.
@@nicorizzo5402 my dad and stepdad did the same. My mum believed me when I verbalised it, but unfortunately was out of it due to medication at the time, so the abuse was never really seen. As far as my siblings were ever concerned, I was just a quiet nerdy kid who spent a lot of time in his bedroom, who grew into an adult who cant let his hair down. In reality, what my closest sister and my mother know is that I shut myself in my room and avoided talking to people in the hopes that it would lessen the abuse from my father, and don't "let my hair down" because my father and stepdad had drinking problems and I don't want to end up like them
My step sister also lies to her therapist, claiming she has 0 support from her family. When in reality her grandparents, her dad, & my mom watch her kids practically every weekend - all four kids, every weekend.
Last Story: REAL family would’ve paid OP the full rates to support their business. OP was way too nice and should’ve walked out the first time they were stiffed out of payment. If records of the agreement were saved, I’d definitely go to small claims or something. If any OTHER family members give grief, send THEM an invoice.
Also, these video thumbnails are starting to FREAK me out. I nearly spew my morning coffee every time. 💦
2- NTA, people just hate Disney adults because it’s cool to make fun of them! Being a Disney adult is the same as being a sports fan who colectes and displays sports memorabilia or a goth person with dark decor!
I think people hate Disney Adults because "it's cool" and of the 1% who take it WAYYYY too far and are highly obsessed with anything and everything disney, and ruin it for everyone.
Idk man, anyone with hobbies or interests is horrible and I hate them /s
@@breestringham1063 hello bateman
@@breestringham1063 Wow. If that wasn't sarcasm, what the heck do you do in your free time?
Thank you! I've seen sports fans go crazy, even to the point of mass destruction, and somehow having some Winnie-the-Pooh towels is less mature than rioting after winning the Super Bowl (ok, I don't know sports well, but I remember something like that happening a few years back).
In the last story it's so funny seeing "how unprofessionnal" and "we're family" used in the same sentence on the same side of an argument
#4 NTA. If it isn't your kid and no one even asked you to watch them, there is zero reasonable expectation that you would be watching them.
The ai faces are freaking me out man
Yeah... 😕
we ran out of normie faces
Agreed
Heavy duty uncanny valley
I don’t even look at the thumbnails
Story 4 deserves a way higher AH score. It's INCREDIBLY dangerous to just assume someone is watching your kid, expecially when they might not know that's what you're assuming!! This is how kids drown in pools and fall from heights
And disrespectful. I didn’t have kids because I don’t want near them, they need to stop pushing the responsibility to everyone else.
LOL I love how they say “unprofessional” and “we are family” in the same sentence at the last story haha
7:52 YTA for choosing sides, then being Callous about her needs. You screwed her over and left her high and dry!! And I am still mad about hearing it!!
man, I always hear horror stories about what goes on in the Troubled Teen Houses or whatever they're called. Those stories always make me look back at the time I was in juvy and make me think about how lucky I was to be sent there instead of one of those "homes"
Fifth story: I'd up OP's mother score to at least 4/5 due to her sending him to a rehab center for using weed like once. That's a overexaggeration and OP was forced to live with people with worst addictions for no proper reason (because that would be bad even if the center was a proper place);
I'd also look up for a different therapist. The fact they said OP should get contact back with his parents who were basically abusive when he was a kid to the point he didn't had friends out of fear, and then chasticed OP for finally standing up when his mother went all about how her abuse was actually helpful shows they aren't a good therapist. OP should look up a different professional, and go NC with his parents like he planned, and his sister too (since it looks like she supports their parents abuse against OP even if unconciously).
Last story, never mix business with family or even friends most of the time. It usually ends up being more headaches than it's worth. They always want super low prices to "help us out because we're family/friends" but never want to help out family/friends themselves by paying full price for a service they're getting from said family/friend.
This is why I insist on always asking my friends how much I owe them when I ask them to make me something. They can sell their stuff and do to make extra money. I am more than willing to pay what anyone else would pay. If they try to give me a discount I don’t take it. I saved up and waited to order this so I could pay full price because I love you and you deserve to be paid for your work and your abilities.
Story two: I never understood hating on Disney adults. They like what they like, and that’s pretty harmless. Same with tons of other bullied people with “strange” hobbies
I get the feeling that OP's sister is one of those people who makes the claim that Disney is for kids, even though really, Disney's main target demographic is for everyone, regardless of age. Anyone can enjoy their movies as well as their theme parks. Like, they make a lot of the most amazing and inspiring movies ever. I mean, it's not like OP and her husband are so unhealthy obsessed of Disney. I think the problem is that OP's sister believes that Disney is only for kids, much like, you know, the many stories rSlash told about parents believing that video games, comics or animation is for kids, even though it's not even true at all.
Nah it's not harmless. Supporting one of the most vile corporations in the world that is actively destroying Americana while also supporting child groomers is not ok
First story: If she isn't admitting that she has a problem nor is the problem then she's still in denial. Cut her out but I suggest being willing to let her back in AFTER she gets her shit in order.
Tell her therapist about all her lies and bring records
I wouldn’t be surprised if Jen never provided the therapist name. May not even have an actual therapist. I just hope the fiancé got a possible glance of who he’s dating and that there may be more to her story
Story 5: Who the hell sends their kid to REHAB for smoking one joint??? I honestly think the mom was just looking to get rid of OP for a few months.
Conservative minded parents.
Especially when he shared it with friends. So basically he got sent to rehab and could of gotten hurt or killed by the other kids. For what 20 percent to 33 percent of a joint he shared with his friends. Fucking garbage of a human being the mother is. Just admit you gave up and wanted to get away from your own kid for three months.
It wasn't for "one joint". It was for a continuous pattern of behavior. He wasn't a good kid. He was a POS. Self-admittedly.
Story 2: Thinking the same thing, go rent some porta-potties and keep your guts out my house. OP remind your sister that you're doing her a favor, and if she doesn't like your house she can pay for a venue. I wouldn't do anything more make sure my house was presentable for the wedding, and I bet she doesn't plan on paying for the storage it would take to put that stuff away.
P.S why does everyone think adults can enjoy Disney? Disney's biggest look is that it's for everyone, more importantly a good movies a good movie and Disney has made a lot of good movies.
I completely agree, weed isn't for anyone under 19. It alters your brain, but one joint isn't going to irreparably damage your child.
Kids are going to do dumb things, they're trying out new stuff and might make mistakes. If a child is constantly using substances there is an underlying issue that needs to be dealt with, sending a kid to rehab over pot is ridiculous, even if they were a chronic smoker.
I feel so bad for that guy, kids should be allowed to experiment and tell their parents without consequences as the ladder is them never telling you. Be that safe space for them, cause you'd rather your kid calls you for help than hide it and continue dangerous activities
Paris Hilton got sent to a "camp" for at-risk youth, and it was horrible. Lots of former participants are speaking out about it.
Story 1: That type of person needs to go to therapy with their family so they can be called on their bs.
Ngl it must be hard being a therapist and hearing only one side of the issue and having to trust that your client is being honest with you
Funny tangentially related therapy story. One time me and my two at the time best friends who had just broken up all had the same therapist. So my therapist got to hear 3 different sides of the same breakup.
Fifth Story: I hate when people act like anger or hatred is automatically bad. If it’s not consuming your life, it can even be healthy to feel those things, rather than bottling them up. It took my sister and I years to convince our mother that it’s ok to hate our dad - he’s an asshole. We’re all traumatized by him even though we haven’t seen him in years. I passively hate that guy. There’s no forgiveness, no reconciliation. He’s just a terrible person, and I earned the right to hate him. Same with OP. If they are angry, they have the right. If they want to go NC, they have that right. Also, they should prob get a new therapist if their therapist can’t understand that NC can be extremely healthy in situations like this.
Like all feelings, anger is dangerous if it blinds you, but as a general feeling it's an essential surviving tool, we kept it through thousands of years of natural selection for a reason.
My brain: AITA for telling my sister she can't be a scapegoat because......she was a goat?
Caffeine needed! XD
First story: I remember seeing a comment from that post elsewhere saying that actual therapists don't use terms like "golden child" and "scapegoat"
No idea if that's accurate, but it raises questions about her therapy if it is.
6:35 Hahaha, now that you mention it, I do notice that. Glad I joined this fluffy community after we were heavily hated on.
So I'm very curious about this.
Are there furries based on Disney characters like Stitch or any of the animal sidekicks from the movies? It seems like there would be but I'm not a furry so I wouldn't know
My mother sold my car out from underneath me. She made a profit of 2978.63$ yes it is exactly that amount. I have not spoken or written a single word to her since this happened. She almost tore my entire life down and in lucky to still be doing as good as I am because I had to get a new car that same day.
That "Sent you to get help" story and the parent's comments after remind me of my fiancée's family. We met when we were both super young on a forum for a TV show we both liked. We stayed friends for a long time, until we were both in upper teens. Then we became a long distance couple. Well, her parents didn't like that, because I'm a transguy. Her father and step mother made a condition of "You can only do your senior trip for high school if you go to conversion therapy". She made it clear to them that she didn't want to go because it was literally tearing her self-esteem apart. I could see what it was doing to her but, couldn't do anything because of long distance. It didn't stop us, it just hurt her so badly to where it didn't "make her straight" (even though she is, because I'm a guy! Just not CIS) nor did it keep us apart. It only pushed her away because it was abusive! She would tell them what was being said and they'd not believe her. She moved out as soon as she could and has been happier but, the lasting effects are still there regarding self-esteem. They would guilt trip her "Oh, you don't call us every day, so that means you don't love us."- type BS. They demonized me from day 1 because they couldn't see how a transguy could possibly be a good person. I would spend months building up her confidence only for one visit to her family, which I wasn't welcome to go, to tear it all down again. They thought I listened in on phone calls between them, thought I needed to give her permission to call her family, etc. In fact, my fiancée wanted to cut them off ages ago. I encouraged her to just be low contact, because you never know when something bad will happen and blocking communication would maybe lead to regrets. Unfortunately, her father passed away suddenly about 2 months ago. I feel so guilty not feeling sad as she is and maybe feeling some relief that she might be able to finally move on from the damage he'd done in the past. I've kept that thought to myself though and just been trying to support her...
Her real mother wasn't any better while growing up. She abused her, screamed at her for things that don't matter, wouldn't let her make her own food, barely even stock food in the first place and usually got takeout all the time. Sold her horse while she was at school, didn't let her say goodbye or anything... Lots of small things that really hurt a kid and leave lasting impacts. School food was essential for her diet because she barely had food at home and the two younger half-sisters always took priority. However, she has come around and accepted me enough to where things are at least pleasant when visiting.
Point is, parents, don't think your child needs help for little things or just because you don't approve of them. Take the time to learn about the details. If your kid is gay (or experimenting) or smokes weed, that doesn't mean you need to tear down their entire sense of self. It does far more harm than good. They will remember it... and it will impact them the rest of their lives. It will affect every relationship they ever have. It will cost them money to fix it in therapy as an adult or lead to a spiral of other issues. They may even cut you off as soon as they can. Take the moment to think "does this really matter? Are they happy and healthy? Is this something that will crush them or push them away?" Just because you don't like it or understand it doesn't mean it needs to be fixed. Your child will not be just like you. They should be BETTER than you. There's serious issues, like addiction to hard drugs, being violent or abusive or a criminal.... then there's not knowing their sexuality and wanting to experiment or trying weed with a friend... You can support them in teaching them to be safe in trying those things. Let them get life experience. They will experience it eventually anyway, with or without your permission. Teaching them to be safe about it will teach them caution and lead to a better bond because you are supervising, not prohibiting.
Smoking weed at 13 is indeed dangerous though. It isn’t like being gay. Kid was 13, not 23.
2nd story: I love in these types of stories you can tell where the kids get it from. The sister is acting super entitled, and the parents are telling the OTHER sister to "grow up". If it was my kid I would tell her to go pay for a wedding venue if the free one isn't good enough. Also, if it was my property, I would probably tell my sibling to rent portable toilets (as rslash suggested) anyway, as I wouldn't want a parade of guests passing through my house to use the bathroom.
3rd story: "I love my kids equally". If you're going out of your way to say it...
I also would have them rent port-o-potties, having tons of people pass in and out my house would give me an anxiety attack. Especially if I had so many sentimental/special decorations like they appear to have
Yo, that guy who was selling his daughters used beater car is getting shredded in the comments. He even told one guy "We paid for my daughters health care when she was younger and felt we needed to give him something to so we bought him a truck." Then tried to justify not buying her a car by saying "Well we bought it for him after he finished trade school." Yeah because he had no motivation in life and wouldn't have done squat unless you did. This guy is showing clear favoritism and the fact that he's blind to that is astounding.
Say what you want about RSlash, he might have bad takes but at least he allows open discussion without walking on eggshells unlike the AITA subreddit where you can’t even say “Karen” or “entitled brat”.
Or *any* mention of "violence." There was one a few days ago about a tutor who carried a pocket knife, and used it to open a zip tie. The mom of the student thought it was a dangerous weapon. Removed for "violence." AITA is moderated like shit by shitty people.
I think sometimes I disagree with his take, but usually they're alright. Usually it's just a difference of opinion and analysis.
Yeah, and that biggest thing is that a lot of his bad takes are him literally misreading the story. Rslash makes mistakes but it normally isn’t all that bad
I agree that Dabney misses some of his AITA opinions, but I think he does the best he can on the information in the posts.
I think the ban was a mix of that but also to cut on the fake stories that became popular at the time, it was a dark time where there was hundreds of stories of “this Karen and her entitled brat tried to steal [insert here] from me in public and called the cops when I wouldn’t give it to her?!?”
(Might also be a keep those key words to the boards for them)
Story 5: it’s not rehab facilities that lie to parents, it’s those old “corrective boarding schools”. Private rehab facilities have a lot of state oversight, especially when they’re basically expensive spas. And it’s common practice for involuntary patients to be left in their rooms for most of the day, it’s actually an indication that OP was being treated as untrustworthy as their weird roommate, they may have lashed out in frustration during intake (which is a really harsh process to be fair).
Still sounds like torture for no reason. Being locked in a room for 18 hours a day is not rehabilitating.
@@Tustin2121or some it can be, for people withdrawing from harder drugs it can be nice to be able to have a semi-private space because they are feeling really unwell. But I am assuming that they had the option to leave the room, because the only a state mental hospital I’ve ever worked at needed to have clear paperwork and rules regarding locking doors. It was only ever for patient safety and for maybe a few hours at a time or until the pt could agree to be safe. Maybe rehabs are different? However, a 13 year old with a “weed problem” should not have been roomed with a 17 year old suffering from meth /pill detox. It isn’t a good match for either of them. I just can’t believe the parents thought that rehab was the solution for a 13 year old rather than therapy.
Story 5: here's the thing, even if she would doing what she thought was best, taking credit for all of your accomplishments like that is never okay. From what I hear going the rehab was the worst experience of your life, and your mom is gloating about it like she should be given a medal but will settle for taking credit for any of the success you have. I don't blame you for snapping and agree that this just means you two need to have a talk about everything that happened.
And I think OP would benefit from another therapist. Also wouldn’t hurt his sister to get help.
9:22 HOLY MOLY people leaving kids unsupervised. A few years ago I was camping with my boys (10 & 8 at the time) at a camp ground with a small sandy beach. Around 7 pm my boys are playing in the water, I was reading and not many people were around. Another family with a child about 4 years old is letting the child go out into the water, adults aren't going in the water. The 4 year old kept trying to go to where my boys are, it got a little unsafe and my older son went and took the hand of the tot and walked her back to the adults then went back to his playing. All sorted, right? WRONG! THEY LEFT THE TOT ON THE BEACH ALONE!! They didn't say anything, just left a child alone on a beach with strangers?! The small child kept trying to walk out to where my kids were, I obviously stepped in because I don't want to watch a child die. There was no cell service and I had no idea where the family might be. My older son got panicky that a child would drown trying to reach him so went to the small playground and played with little one. About 45 minutes later the family came back and said to me "he'll be a great father one day, he's good with little ones" 😮😳😱
Wow. Just wow. That is horrendous. When I was 8 I was playing with my dog on the beach, I was in water up to my calf and I got hit by a sudden wave that had a super strong undertow. I would have drowned if my dad hadn’t been right there and been strong enough to pull me back to shore. He was a full grown and strong man and he had a hard time grabbing me back from the undertow. I couldn’t imagine the stupidity of entrusting a 4 year old to a strange 8 year old at the beach. Just horrendous.
I'm sat listening to rslash in a lilo and stitch jumper. I'm not a Disney adult.
I'm a DisNerd!
6:55 THANK YOU! My god, I’ve been waiting for someone to say that. Just because you like something doesn’t mean you should be trashed on for it!
Well if they don't like the wedding venue, they can book somewhere else XD
People can decorate their private space how they want to
6:14 OMG we rent these for formal events at the therapy barn! Ours even has a small deck on it, lol. Makes the investors happy.
Hearing RSlash defend disney adults and furries actually made me very happy, like cmon people. Just let people live their lives. Over here in the netherlands we say something like: Leven en laten leven.
This just basically means, live your life and let others live their own lol.
Anyways, another great video RSlash.
Thanks :D
💀💀💀💀💀
Disney fine but furries? Really
@@Hdwrld999 you litterally have a channel thats pretending to be a cat.
The major issue a lot of people have with ‘Disney adults’ is that it’s borderline worship of a megacorporation that routinely violates human rights in the name of corporate greed. Furries are just dressing up in (oftentimes homemade) suits, attending group hangout events, and maybe expressing their sexuality, depending on the group. Nobody is saying that adults shouldn’t enjoy Disney, people are saying that adults who theme their houses around Disney, who visit the parks twice a year, and who buy every Disney item available, should maybe not make their lives orbit around the company that regularly erases queer people just so they can sell their products in phobic countries.
I think that the therapist in the penultimate story should get an asshole score for encouraging OP to stay in contact with their parents
RSlash went super easy on that rehab mom. At least 4/5 BH.
5/5 imo. He went way too easy.
Story 5: It appears OP doesn't have an account any more, or at least Reddit can't find it, so I don't know if we'll get an update. I hope OP finds a better therapist, goes NC with mom if she doesn't acknowledge anything after a heart to heart. I hope OP can heal no matter what his choices for the future with his family are.
Yep, sending a kid to rehab for smoking ONE joint is a nuclear reaction. It ain't that rehab is bad, but pretty much like you don't give morphine to someone that scratched their knee you don't send someone, especially a 13-year-old kid, to rehab for one joint.
Story 2: If it was star wars alone, no one would bat an eye. If it was just faeries, no one would bat an eye. But for some reason people get a stick up their arse when it comes to adults and Disney. As an adult who visited Disney for the first time at 28 (and can't wait to go back), Disney is for EVERYONE!
Also, people enter my house and complain about the horses: horse posters, horse tack, horse models.... more models... I'm not exaggerating when I say 300+ models... but then they learn that I work at a therapy barn, and suddenly my "horse obsession" is okay because "you help kids". No, I got the job because I like horses, and I like helping people....
I would suggest OP asking the sister to do a group session with her doctor and hear her out. We hear the story from OP, but that may be with rose glasses.
_Why aren't you babysitting my and everyone else's kids???_
Quite literally a case of "not my zoo, not my monkeys".
Story 1: NTA. The problem with therapy is people lie to their therapist and use what the therapist tells them to play the victim.
My guess is when the sister gets married, her mask will slip and the fiancé will be in hell wondering why he ignored the red flags from the meeting with OP.
I honestly don't get people who expect other people to just watch their kids at events, now my dad would have me and my older brother watch our siblings but he wouldn't just leave unless he told one of us first, sure he wouldn't pay attention but outright leaving?? Like wat
The only way story two the sister wouldn't have been an asshole is "hey sis, I was wondering if you could maybe consider packing the Disney stuff on the first floor away for the wedding. Not that I have a problem with it, but I don't want people who are drunken looking for the bathroom to damage them." That's literally the only way.
I feel like there's more to story 1. Op admits jen was always the suspect, regardless of the reason. Did anyone ask why jen got in a screaming match with chloe? Obviously I'm not condoning that, but if chloe was the one praised and jen was always blamed, resentment will build. I wonder if jen has trauma in regards to the family that led to her rebellion and obvious resentment, and her therapist interpreted that as a golden child dynamic.
1st story seems extremely biased, and honestly it’s nearly impossible to know who’s the narcissist and who’s the scapegoat from the inside. OP’s examples of her sisters alcoholism, acting out, over all temperament, and the change that happened in her personality when she left home are all in line with the scapegoat. 🤷🏾♀️And quite frankly even OP believe her she wasn’t the scapegoat, that was out of line and the results are more harm than good. Her therapist is working with her, and this is what stage they are at. If she’s a narcissist ok she’s doing it for the praise….ok her behavior towards is still changing for the better but if she really was the scapegoat you just invalidated her after she reached out to you.
And yes I’m biased because I my mother is a narcissist who convinced my family for decades that I was the narcissist it’s took me leaving home and for her to start turning on my little sister for anyone INCLUDING my little sister herself to believe me.
These were my thoughts too. According to an uncritical reading of OP's account, sure, sister is TAH and he's not. But the account seems pretty one-sided and lacking in insight.
Well, if someone's an alcoholic, we all know who stole the booze. If someone gets brought home by the cops, you know who's in the wrong.
Yeah, no, my sister is the same way, and she's a total asshole, even at 57. She makes herself the scapegoat while she has broken the law several times, but somehow that's my fault (I don't live with her btw, but she's badmouthing me to our extended family.)
Nah, I'm sure that sis is lying her tits off to the shrink, painting herself as the victim. A swift kick in the ass is what she needs, and her fiance should listen very carefully to his future family in law, and think really hard if the trouble he'll get wil l be worth it; narcissists never really change their ways, they only get more subtle.
The fourth story can basically be looked at as a checklist:
1. Are they OP's kids?
2. Did OP agree to look after them?
3. Is OP the host?
If either of the first two are true, then yes, OP is the AH. If just the third one is true, OP shouldn't necessarily watch the kids but, in my opinion, they should at least mention to the parents that they need to watch their kids and supervise them or they are not welcome anymore.
Spoiler alert: none of the above are true. OP is NTA
i've never heard of a luxury Loo, but now I kind of want want to take with me on road trips! Learned something new today
Story 3: while I wholeheartedly agree that the OP is deserving of an AH score for obvious favoritism and then having the audacity to sell the car, I definitely don't agree with rslash or anyone claiming that the son was being rewarded for "failure" or that the sister has a "brighter future".
As someone with a bachelor's degree but holding a blue collar job irrelevant to that degree, people should really stop looking down on trades. I make more money at mine then some of my PhD friends.
Nah the mother in the weed story deserves 4/5. She put a child in rehab for smoking weed once! The way op described it, 18 hrs a day stuck in that room sounds like a prison. Op was 13 years old! 13!
I don’t care how ignorant the mother was of the hell she put op through. I hope she gets the no contact treatment
Yeah, definitely agree.
I remember a story where this guy was trapped in a room like that but with a mirror for days and days on end for a couple years, the only time he got to talk to people was with a therapist or when one of the guards basically came to bully him- he now suffers with longterm hallucinations, anxiety, depression, and a bunch of other health issues. Hearing another story like that is so damn heartbreaking, how can people just do that to their own children or just to another being in general??
When I was 16 in rehab they lied to parents ALL THE TIME, when I got there they told my parents that they found heroin in my bags. Little did the rehab know, I have a heart condition that would cause me to have a massive stroke if I did anything like heroin. My parents were immediately suspicious but I was court ordered to be there so it took three months for them to get me out of there
BBQ story: GOOD parents don’t leave their children like that unless they ask first. And it’s usually only to ask if they’ll be out there for a minute so they can run to the restroom or fix a plate or something. That woman was out of line on multiple levels. NOT the bad guy. At all.
Third story. The father was just rewarding his son because he finally succeeded and found something he can do. It's not favoritism, it's kinda the daughters fault for thinking she'll get something too and that the father would wait till the cars rusted.
I don't think you understand favoritism but go off I guess
@@bryannablake I do understand favoritism and I can say that that isn't favoritism. Seeing as he has a HVAC he's most likely going to need that truck and OP was probably just happy that his child who was not doing so well and constantly trying to find what he wanted to do In life finally found something and wanted to reward him. I wouldn't call that favoritism.
Son: Does a mediocre job all through school, barely scraping by. Finally does something right after school.
Dad: Here's a brand new truck, free and clear!
Daughter: Kicks ass academically all through high school, works hard and goes to college.
Dad: Uuuh, here. Have this beat up old POS that you have to fix right away AND maintain with your own money. Oh and by the way, I'm taking it whenever I feel like it, regardless if you take good care of it and whether or not you still need it.
No favoritism here at all. ¬_¬
Troubled teens story: its 3.5 for me: sending your teen kid away, especially YOUNG teen, should be an absolute last resort. It sounds like instead of attempting to parent OP in any real way, they just sent him to an abuse factory
The fact is, the entire "troubked teen" industry is rife with abuse and beyond that, studies have shown that sending kids out of home is more often detrimental. Rather than fixing the problems, it just makes things worse.
Now, obviously some kids have to be sent away, but that should be reserved for the most extreme cases.
This is what typically happens. Someone that was not the most decent person tries changing and when everyone around them doesn't immediately just forgive and forget and move on like they want everyone to, they act like oh why are you treating me like this? I'm changing. Like yes, you are changing, but when you've gone years of the same behavior people come to expect certain things from you and you can't blame them for expecting something out of your own habit.
Story One: this is why I always want to hear all sides of the story whenever I hear a story of someone complaining about being the scapegoat in their family. I think if we’d heard this story from Jen’s POV, people would be talking very differently.
story 4: there's no such thing as a good adolescent program. I was in and out of programs for most of my life, and while adult ones can range from not doing much to genuinely helpful, every adolescent program I've seen or heard of has been more interested in keeping its clients from being headaches to their parents, usually by isolating them and keeping them under harsh rules and fiat, than it has been in helping them. and those are the good ones that aren't straight up abusive
God... Story 5. For a little context to people who don't know about those facilities, I was in one, and let me tell you that they are underfunded hellholes. I was made to share a tiny room not with one person, but two. One of which snored, but was generally fine, the other of which was an asshole. He bullied the staff for extra food (which is fair, they give you a single plate of food, was weirdly good tho.) He also fought and threatened nearly everyone there, he stole from me and others, and was generally the definition of "belligerent". The staff, when I felt genuinely UNSAFE in my room, wouldn't allow me to move. There were EMPTY rooms, and they would not let me swap rooms when concerned for my life.
The worst part is I was actually in there willingly (working through some mental health stuff) and was legally allowed to leave. Yet when I tried to ask to be release the staff THREATENED me with revoking my outpatient care through them unless I stayed until I was "released properly".
Being in there literally drove me crazy. I'm not talking cabin fever "I gotta get out of here," crazy, I started hearing (comforting) voices as a sort of self defense mechanism. And you guys want to know how long I was in there? A little under a WEEK that I qualify as the worst time of my life. Imagine three months of that hell. OP's mom deserves 5/5 assholes just for sending a KID to one of those places.
Sorry for the rant but y'all need to understand how shitty those public facilities are. Now I admit that I'm American where all healthcare sucks and is like this, let alone mental health stuff, and I have no clue where OP is from. But I felt you guys needed a picture of what those places are really like.
I am so sorry that you had such a horrendous time. I hope you were able to get the proper care you needed and deserved. It really is just horrible how limited mental healthcare is in the US.
In the story with the marijuana 'rehab' the therapist also deserves a huge butthole score.
Make amends with the abusive parent?!? UGH! This type of therapist is dangerous and ought to have their license revoked.
I hope OP fires this quack and find someone who is supportive of OP and OP's healing journey.
Story 3
OH SO a deadbeat dad abusing his motivated daughter gets 2/5 holes, but the guy yesterday that was contributing to his own baby's care and just not putting away some rags gets 2.5/5? get your priorities straight Danby, wtf is this discrimination.
His discrimination in these stories isn’t new. He constantly contradicts what he says in previous videos and white knights every female even if the female is in the wrong. Hell he even called a husband in one story (not in this video) selfish because he stayed home instead of taking an Xmas vacation with his family when it was the anniversary of HIS FATHERS DEATH. Dabbed had the dxck and balls to actually say “yeah, their grandpas dead but wouldn’t it be great to celebrate with their other grandpa” Keep in mind that the kids NEVER spent Xmas with the husbands family, only the wife’s. Dabney at this point is just an unsavable cuck.
13:47 because she didn’t cause any damage? This is classic. “I got caught therefore me angry at consequences”
Also, I have an odd feeling that the story is made up because it sounds like someone just googled psych ward and looked at a TH-cam video of a movie scene .
Surprise biawtch! The worst thing I’ve come across is university student studying you, but that’s only if the hospital itself is affiliated with a uni
14:12 psychology wards, have a very bad reputation anyway. Warranted? Doubtful
I genuinely think there's a difference between adult Disney fans and Disney Adults™️ there are PLENTY of Disney movies and franchises I ADORE as an adult but I don't let it wrap my entire life and personality. Hell last summer I went to Disneyland and had a blast and then damn near had a brain break because a parent was scolding her kid who they had unironically named Anikin 💀
Just the idea of absolutely adoring, or obsessing, or just centering large corporate entities in your personal life is just so fucked. Imagine having a parasocial relationship with someone who only sees you as a boost to their profit margins. I feel the same about people who get tattoos of brands, or sneaker heads etc. 😅😅
In Finland. Lots of people collect moomin mugs and other moomin themed things. Even my parents collect them. If someone told my parents to hide those said moomin mugs they better be happy to be drinking from Paper cups because we don't have enough coffee/teacups to give to the guests plus there's nothing to be ashamed of for collecting things you like just like with Moomin and Disney. Some people would see it even as normal honestly.
Moomins are better than Disney!
Greetings from Germany!
Getting certified in HVAC is not a failure. Bro is gonna be ballin in money.
Lol it’s a great job! Both kids succeeded but only one got rewarded.
On the first story I would strongly recommend that OP and Jen have a shared appointment with Jen’s therapist. OP can tell her side, of what she experienced and observed growing up with Jen. I have a feeling there’s more to this family’s story than OP is sharing in her post.
Story 2 was really a "Hakuna Matata" moment the bride really need to see her "Reflection" in the mirror to see how piss poor her attitude is. Correct butt-holes score given. (Singing) "Your Welcome".
By the way Disney deserves 5 out of 5 Butt-holes for ruining The Little Mermaid. ( No its not because of the actress playing Ariel)
the comments of that story are full of disney puns it is awesome
How to know you’re probably favoring one child over the other: When you have to reiterate that you love both your children equally before you even tell the story.
This channel thought me morals my parents refused to put me in school and now this is my comfort channel
Disney wedding: I would give them a little dose of MC. They want the disney stuff gone? EVERYTHING would be gone. Couches, chairs, curtains, tables. Sorry sis, the only toilet paper we use has Baymax on it.
Fifth Story: I don't get your logic while rating the mom. She sent her 13 year old to a place where he's be locked up with unstable teens much older than him. A lot worse could have happened to OP if his roommate was a different kind of person. Not to mention the adults in the facility.
It doesn't matter if the facility lied to her or how much she knew. SHE (and rhe dad) is the one that sent him there in the first place instead of talking to him or taking him to normal counseling. What she did was horrible no matter how you frame it. She opened her child up to be abused over a SINGLE JOINT and still has no remorse over it.
If I was a mother and did that to my child I would NEVER forgive myself thinking about how scared he would be or what could've happened to him. Seems like OP's mom forgave herself and started congratulating herself pretty quickly.
AT LEAST 3/5 asshole score.
16:17 this feels like it’s from r/choosingbeggars
Sister is obviously also a narcissist on top of being a nightmare
She went to therapy but still couldn't improve. I guess some people just can't be saved
My wife and I had one of those luxury portapotties at our wedding... it was AMAZING! Smelled great the whole reception, and it was actual porcelain fixtures too