What A 24hr Bender On Cocaine Was Like
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 ก.ค. 2024
- It was common for me during my addiction to go on benders at different times and this is what it was like during these. If you are struggling with addiction www.aa.org and www.na.org are great resources.
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*I am a not licensed Therapist, Doctor, or Counselor I share experience being diagnosed with ADHD, PTSD, GAD, MDD, Losing a Wife, and Father to suicide along with being a recovering alcohol and cocaine addict. I Share from experience to help others through their journey!
It’s about people helping people and together we can do this, you can do this!
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Paranoia and peeking out the window is the worst part.
Agree
I can definitely relate. Alcohol and cocaine are my drugs of choice too. I keep doing these two days benders, mostly on weekends, it all starts with one bag then it's a 24 hour or longer sesh of non-stop drinking and sniffing until I hit the wall and crash out. Few hundred spent, comedown/hangover for days, feeling of intense regret, yet I repeat the same behaviour the following weekend. Well, no more. I'm going 100 days drug free so I can hopefully put this chapter of my life behind me for good. Great videos bro.
On November 5th I'll be one year clean of street diazepam, opiates and weed. Go for it dude, getting through 100 days will make you feel so much better health wise, but also you'll feel proud of yourself and that feeling will boost you even more! You got this! 😉💪
Good luck to you, I’m 22 years sober and believe me sobriety is AMAZING. Cocaine is” the devel” . Remember: one day at a time.
Stay strong mate
Good luck bro!
Props . I need to stop I'm currently doing it the next day or days after but I still do it.
I always watch this guy’s videos while using coke and it’s almost like a comfort thing but not sure why. I’m just glad I’m not the only one with these problems and know that people are in the same situation as me. Keep your head up high everyone. 🙏
Lolol coke high/comedown TH-cam is the best drug videos. I know what you mean ahaha
GOD NO! The last thing I wanna watch while coming down from coke is somebody telling me how bad coke is. Be safe and have fun!
Im in the same shoes. I try to be introspective with all my actions and I believe I come to watch these videos because deep down my self conscious wants to get off this shit. You’re doing the right thing, one step at a time eventually you will get tired of all the side effects
It’s always Joey Diaz stories for me lmaoo
You watch the videos because deep down you feel shame. So keep chasing the feeling of wanting to live a better more fulfilling life than wasted your life and damaging your health with coke.
The accuracy!!!! I have been there. Everything you explained. Thank God for setting me free. 10 months sober. I would call up the coke, buy a handle of vodka, and 2 packs of smokes. Start on Friday...next thing you know I see Sunday football on. It was awful.
Time goes so fast
Oh man, when Sunday football comes and the hangover accompanied it. 🤦♂️
Back when I used to live in my apartment w my ex & kids I’d stay up all night beer after beer, bump after bump, cigarette after cigarette. While they were sleeping I’d be in my own little world getting wired out of my mind, trying to get myself off in the restroom, chain smoking in the porch, researching all this random shit on my phone just cause how wired I was, cleaning the house just to make sure none of the coke residue was laying around for my kids to be exposed too, sweating, trembling, heart pounding so fast I’d be scared of a stroke, hating the way I was physically feeling but loving every single line that would go up my nose, hating being dope sick but loving the lock jaw & energy bursts running through my veins, man it’s a fucked up thing thinking as an addict how normal this seems to us, when we look like tweakers to other people haha. You were spot on with this video bro it had me bursting out laughing, love your content, hoping on getting sober soon, much love brother
I wanna thank you so much man you've got me to see these through a different perspective and got me clean for 3 months
Recently found your channel, binge watched ur videos , u have a good way on telling stories, peace man.
I did quite a bit of coke in my teens - 23? I don't miss it.
I'm 36 now and hearing this brought back so many memories/feelings from those days!!!
I wouldn't do an 8 ball. a gram + half at most
but man all the things u said and more I can relate! I'm really glad I survived that phase earlier in my life, + u did 2!! Keep up the good work my friend!
Hey Eric, didn't know you were in sales!! I've worked at dealerships for the past 8 years. Started cocaine 3 years ago and last year was homeless. This year I'm actually starting again at a dealership Monday. It's so nice to hear your experiences cause it reminds me that dark time in my life where I lost everything and was alone. But watching your videos and others reminds me the downside of drugs. Thank you Eric for the motivation!
Thank you so much for sharing this. You are helping lots of people , I’m sure.
It’s sad but so good to know. I’m so glad to know someone made it out of this ! You are a true inspiration! May you stay strong and never touch that stuff again 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Wow.. needed this video.. perfectly timed.. thank you Eric!!
Just got off a bender myself. You were spot on brother.
All the love man
Yup keep on it low life
No retreat no surrender brother
@JittyLaRoot yup don't surrender to the coke. Keep taking it
Amazing video! Keep being strong!
Hi Eric I stumbled upon one of your videos, I just binge watched the rest of them. It’s crazy to see how 2 people at the opposite sides of the planet can live EXACTLY the same thing…thanks for sharing brother, appreciate you. Maybe you could do a video on what’s helping you stay sober on a day to day basis ?
Good info man. You are spot on.
I love your honesty. How absolutely humiliating. Thank you for sharing and helping others.
I can relate to the floor mat story, sounds like something I easily could have done too. You nailed it, addicts do f.. up things that seem normal to them. It's the addiction reality, and as you said, as an addict you're mostly isolated. No one is there to question what you think or do. A lot of this secretive behaviour, hiding stuff, etc comes from that - almost like the addict within tells you to stay by yourself to continue with the addiction
That’s the realist ever right there and we all totally get it, that made me stop and go damn
@@EricBZink like some part of your mind has managed to stay healthy enough to show up at the right time at the right place, this night. At some level, this is amazing, if you think about all the other situations where the addicted I has taken over, living in auto-pilot mode...
Same picking the floor does my nut in don't want to do and can't help but do it
Ohhh we all had them "carpetcraweler" days
@@EricBZinkdid you ever get into MDMA?
haha, dude. my benders looked exactly the same, scary. worst years of my life, definetly. thx for sharing & wish u all the best m8 !
I appreciate your honesty.
Thank you for speaking. You have no idea how much you help us that do not want to speak out.
Thank you, Eric.
God bless you, brother!! ✌️
I always struggled with my addictions, telling myself I'll have one last day to enjoy and I'll quit tomorrow. Well tomorrow never comes. By the time you reach tomorrow - it's called 'today'. I thought up a wee quote that I wrote on the board at my addiction services clinic...
"Don't say you'll do it tomorrow, because tomorrow never comes.
Do today what you wish you'd done yesterday."
New subscriber here. Im a recovered heroin addict but still occasionally smoke crack and ive always been a functioning addict still had jobs make sure ive got food in, bills paid etc 😂 when you said about running out of drugs early hours and no one is on and your picking up rocks off the floor ive done that and when your high EVERYTHING looks like a rock of crack 😂 . Thankfully im kinda past that one im very rarely smoking now and when i do im happy to finish what ive got and go to bed. Sending love from Scotland 🏴
when i watch these videos, my heart starts racing and my mouth gets dry,
like i’m having a flashback
2 months sober from Alcohol and cocaine. Man this was also me… fucking insane hearing this.
you'll be back on it. you're weak.
@@BuhHolWartz if he isn’t as weak as you, then there always hope.
@chrisstucker1813 ohh, zing. That was a really good one.
Love your videos
Wow San Diego! Very close to home, much respect to you man! 🙌
Explained “coke” addiction to a “tee”… Everyone, there’s light at the end of the tunnel! Stay strong & trust the process… 3yrs sober now I’ve been in that dark place, being sober, fit & healthy is the best “buzz”…
This is so relatable. Carpet surfing feels so shameful, but you can’t stop.
"Cocaine is a hell of a drug" ~Rick James~
I had a great connection in the late 70s early 80s, I grew up down the street from a mom and pop pharmacy. I got in good with the owner /pharmacist and I could walk in and ask for whatever I wanted and he was usually able to take care of my needs. One day he asked if I had ever tried cocaine and I said know that I was never able to find it. He pulled a short brown bottle with a white label with red type on it, it was 1oz of merck usd flake cocaine! I bought the whole bottle. I had no idea what I had gotten my hands on. It was the best of times, which soon turned into the worst of Times. I really enjoy your content thanks for sharing your struggles. I hope you keep up the great work.
Lived this life for over a decade.. spent 100ks of thousands of dollars probably and looking back…it will be the biggest regret of my life.
My record was 5 days. Went from Wednesday morning to Sunday afternoon, partying the whole time with no sleep. I worked Wed, Thur, Fri. On top of that played shows, Thur night, Fri night, Sat night, and Sunday afternoon. I'm so glad those days are behind me.
Your stories make me think i would be afraid to shake your hand. Youre the classic 90s joliet illinois person
I used to shoot it . . . nothing like it. You pull the blood out and push it back in and it's a rocket ship! Instant horniness and inability to perform and non-stop drinking to take the edge off. It's amazing how you can just obsess on what you want to do, or imagine doing, but don't get past that point . . . oh, and now the sun is coming up and all your money is gone and you owe money you don't have. Yeah, glad that I left all that behind.
Spot on
I pray for you and anyone else who is dealing with addiction
thanks man, i been fantasizing about it lately romanticizing it even, been off it for 2 months now and i forgot what it was like. so thank you for the video man
Bro always when im done i looked around where i dropped some to try scrape together a terrible line. The struggle its sad. Stay clean. Great video
Same.
Carpet shark lol been there.
While looking like a tweaker at 4 AM. It’s so embarrassing to think about.
12:26 am Your unflinching honesty is refreshing and awesome
Damn man this is spot on
💯
Thank you for sharing your experience it really opens up my eyes to the extremes this substance can take me too. I was never a heavy user but ever since December 24 2023 I’ve been doing it every week. It genuinely scares me how addictive this substance can get but I believe that’s the fact that I’m watching videos like this is trully my self conscious or my soul trying to show me where this could take me. I will get off this I have never been the type to be dominated by a substance it’s all a matter of me getting tired of it but when will that come right ? Stay strong my friend. (I’m cocked df out btw)
What’s up man I’d recommend reading books your into as the time really flies by.
Check out Misery by Stephen King, most people don’t know Annie Wilkes is a big metaphor for coke and also Kings own cocaine addiction.
Totally relate brother - I knew my addiction had shifted gears when I went from being sociable and wanting to be with people while doing coke to "f**k these guys - I paid for this I'm going to do it all myself"
seen it happen in a friend of mine
Can you do a video about psychedelics? Love the vids man!
i just realized I'm able to watch these videos without getting intense cravings!
How about when you are alone in a hotel room and doing lines. You order an escort. The whole time waiting for them you are beyond paranoid. Then out of nowhere the loud knock on the door happens. You look through the peephole nervous as fuck
And it ends up being super awkward/weird because you are coked up.
I can relate to this. This is what addiction look like
Can’t get hard , not worth it
Thanks for sharing
Great video
Thanks truly appreciate that
I'll never forget a Friday to Sunday afternoon bender in college. I think the dealer dropped more off 7 times. Drank so much. Resulted in my friend pushing my roomate off the stone wall but was standing on his foot. His ankle snapped and his foot was dangling. When the ambulance showed up he was crawling down the road dragging his food yelling "im gonna kill you freddy!!!" At the emergecy room he had coke all on his nose. He was using crutches and holding like machine guns making shooting noises at all the doctors and nurses.
My dad is an addict so this makes sense of a lot of things.
wow this guy nailed it
been there - insanity - shocked at the number of beer bottles in my hotel room. sleep - recover - repeat.
😂😂😂😂😂😂 thanks for the share bro
Same idea for other drugs ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤, new sub!
Great video man! Reminds me of the time I was tweaking out coming down from 3 hits of acid at 3am downing beers watching tv all night haha. I had to take a sip of water after every sip of beer as it for some reason made the stomach ache stop but then each sip of beer made it come back… as you can imagine that’s quite the intake of liquid and acid contributes to this but yeah I was going to the bathroom every 5-10 minutes to piss. And keep in mind I lived at home with my parents at the time lmao. The reason I was drinking was one for the downer effect but also because normally weed would help me come down better but I was getting tested so instead I drank beer and tripped every two weeks sometimes only with one week in between. That shit was wild haha.
Anyways though the cocaine story of sweating balls and tweaking out at 3 or 4am was very fond to me haha. Nowadays I get stoned only with a medical card, worst I do is kratom
wow that hit home closer than expected. I was more of a social consumer, but I checked all the boxes of that bender thing you described. Luckily I got out "easy", basically cause I realized I had to work and be productive, and that lifestyle wasn't working for me. Didn't have to stop drinking or anything, but for years and years I kept a baggy on me at all times. Even at work, if I arrived with zero sleep, I'd do a couple of lines in the office bathroom and here we go again. that was me from 2007 to 2015. Then I moved out of my city, and that was it. No more blow, no more benders. But I do know people who are true addicts and it's not that easy for them.
I remember those days and i dont miss them thank god
The stuff in the 70's was kick ass. Freebasing it was the way to go.
you still looking so excited talking about it - maybe in next videos say how you overcome that what tools use to stay out of it ! good content
I can do that, I get excited because of where I am now vs then if that makes sense
This helps me with my own recovery. Nice to hear that other former drug addicts have the same stories.
Those benders are nuts. Done coke and ecstasy benders and used to stay up for several days on Adderall. I don't miss those times lol
As a 22 yo girl, everything you said man. And now. Meetings daily and taking care of myself, reading and not today have kept me going. But god everything you said so fucking me.
Thank you
2:40 Looking for coke on the ground at 4 AM, been there many times. So embarrassing to think about.
Carpet coke
I've never even thought about going on a wild bender until watching this.
I'm listening to this high off coke and it is what it is... do what makes you happy!!!
Can anyone else notice he's drooling remencing about the old times 😅
I’ve done more than 24 hours and it was the most shameful experience. Hookers, porn, and self loathing. It’s the absolute pits
Sounds like a damn good weekend to me
Sounds sooo good hahaha
yeah good weekend followed by days of absolute misery lol@@elcapitanoful
I’m not addicted but I’m starting to relate a bit to ur story. Recently I’ve been falling into it whenever I go out and it’s so easy for me to get it I also get it for free cuz my family…
Ah, I remember those lost weekends in the 80's. Great times.
We have lost another young man to suicide in our village in west wales . Both were cocaine addicts .
This dudes content is like groundhog day
I know right he’s an idiot 😜
Did 72hr bender and saw a UFO!
U were trippin balls brother
Really good I just found you a friend of mines sick
Yup … been there
Yup sounds about right
Thankyou
I would make a 25 mile drive 3 sometimes 4x a night cause I would keep telling myself “I can make this last.” To think about how many lives I put in danger, along with my own is terrible smh. Realizing after I got sober that those certain experiences were real heart attacks strokes that took place while conscious. Not realizing how sunk in my eyes really were (always had a heavy brow line). On and on the list goes. Thank you creation for not letting me lose my mind through all that 🙏🏻
I went on a 36 hour bender, playing online poker and 2 balls. My iPhone fitness tracker said I took 13 Steps in about 36 hours. Started slightly hallucinating and thought there were only 5 cards in the deck. 🤦 I don’t miss the cocaine hangovers
Sound awesome
I’ve gone to my floorboard and picked it up.. I’d chew on straws that had some on it.. I went for hours looking for my ziplocks to lick the bag! I was a complete mess and deranged 😮
It's a Friday for me and I don't have to be anywhere until Tuesday, so I'll probably start around 6pm tonight until I go to bed on Monday evening.
The big drops of coke is like how I use to put pills in random spots for the same reason you stated
Video brings back memories so glad I’m away from all that I would flip my room apart looking for one more rock
Not to mention the violent shakes on comedown, never really dabbled in drugs but did binge on alcohol on occasion and managed to sort myself out….I still drink but not to that excess anymore as it cost me a couple of jobs in the past!
Pfft you"ve got no idea about alcoholism
I start thursday-friday and keep going until sunday night and feel like shit at work and then repeat it hahaha
I do the same thing on the computer while my roommate sleeps except I’ve never taken any drugs
You need to try something way better experience lol
I was a master carpet surfer. Three piles: maybe, maybe not and definitely…so glad those days/nights are long behind me. Such a horrible helpless feeling to be attached to a substance like that. The porn addiction is also quite depraved. Just a bad situation all around…
Do you think OCD thoughts and compulsions cause all these routines that make us happy? Saving those pieces for later when you run out, etc. i think many people with ocd thoughts can finally relax from their hell in their head by OCDing about their drug of choice. Any relation you think?
I can relate to this all. Just a tad differently.
Lol @ the chunks left in the carpet
When I was an addict, I was a full time student and I worked 2 jobs... I was always on a bender. It never stopped... exhaustion would knock me out when I ran out of money for the next bag... I would smoke a j and pass out for 2 days, get fired, have to find new jobs.
This was literally my life for a few years
Have a few drinks, get buzzed, your guard goes down. Next thing you know your calling your dealer….
That was only the first 8 hours, wondering about the rest!
I’m gonna do more on this topic
I was sometimes going 3 days on coke without sleep
I watched my buddy crawl around the living room on his hands and knees peeling carpet fibers apart looking for little rocks. Once your at that point during the bender it's game over.
Inflate a balloon, rub it on your hair until it has a static charge. Then run it over the rug. It will pick up all of the little tiny things. Then you can sort through them at random. I used to save the piles. So when I came down I could laugh at how stupid I had been.
Been there. Maybe 5 or 6 times. Havent done that in a few years. Never again. Used to be fun when I was 24. I'm 37 now. It always sucksss so bad.
I love this TH-cam channel. You should have millions of views! Much better than all that tv anti drugs baloney sandwich
I just try to be real and share as many experiences as I can
When was your last bender? Today?
I’ve partied with RV Dealers… they go hard. Not sure why but the ones I have met get fuuuuuucked up.
Related to this one brother
Watching in my car