Thanks so much for the response Jade. I definitely agree I tried too hard to be almost nonchalant about it which is effectively impossible and have seen that in reality , in time, even though the mental suffering would be significant, I could theoretically survive and like others have, come to terms with my situation. Where I get stuck is actually having made progress, I have seen the good dad side of me, the person I would consider me I guess and cannot then comprehend how it could happen save losing my mind or having a split personality 😂. Plus it has morphed to basically anyone or anything I love, family, pets etc which goes back to what you said of actually noticing OCD operating, not just being POCD which I’m very adept at now. How did you differentiate between suspecting it to be OCD vs reassurance? My mindset is, I reckon I’m being bluffed here, can’t know 100 percent for certain but I’ll take the chance, but fear of fear often kicks in with the old, that’s reassurance! I get the notion that perhaps it’s hard wired in to some people to behave in certain ways but it makes it harder to think that way when you’ve had prolonged periods of feeling normal I guess and have seen the results of OCD treatment working.
Hey Matthew, could it be that “good dad” is the issue? I know I held a very rigid belief about good parents, good people, bad people- I’ll talk about this next time I do a Q&A but that’s something to think on in the meantime I reckon 🤩
Hey Jade, no I wouldn’t say so, I’m in full agreement with the notion of people not being fully good or bad. For me, it’s more the power of the imagination, for example, mine morphed to then the same fears towards my wife, mum, dog etc to the point OCD wants you locked in a cell for the rest of your life with no communication with anyone else. Then following this, I’d have a nice normal few days where I’d feel great, a loving dad, husband etc so trying to make peace was super hard as I was like, well unless I have a split personality or something, my brain cannot comprehend it! For me, I guess I need to simply take the risk, and whatever happens in life, I’ll apply REBT to the situation to see why it’s still worth carrying on but trying to make peace with it just caused OCD to constantly move the goalposts and created a deeper level of confusion and attention giving to the thoughts which in all honesty, I don’t believe, I just have the OCD niggling doubt. It basically became that anything I could ever love or care about, OCD would go for, and then unlatch to certain ones after being left alone! I suppose if you relapsed tomorrow, how could you comprehend that your fears might possibly be true after having seen yourself as the parent and person you are now that you’re in recovery? Unless your entire personality changed, I can’t see how you could comprehend it?
@@matthewdavy293 hi Matthew, I completely understand - the next Q&A will be on the channel in the next day or so - keep an eye out where I'll add my additional thoughts on this. Thanks, Jade
Just another question about my fatigue. Thanks to my exhaustion I feel less in touch with the world. My hobbies feel less fun, my memory feels muted but when the fatigue lifts it comes back. I want to feel like that more again but sometimes it feels like that won't happen. Do I have to get comfortable with my fatigue and accept that life isn't always amazing? I obviously want to keep that happiness extended but it's hard.
Hi Jade! Your videos are amazing and I so appreciate them! I just started reading the books and have listened to a lot of content in the videos and have come a long way from where I was. My main issue is with harm ocd which of course has been centered around the most important thing in my life...my child. My questions are did you have urges related to your ocd theme and how did you handle them in the moment when as we all know they feel so real? I'm not avoiding anymore, I stay put when I feel them but I don't even want to hug him in that moment. I'm just starting to dispute my core beliefs and my anxiety is so much better but this is keeping me in that fear cycle. Thank you!
Hi there so glad you’ve found my videos helpful- in a nutshell I have found urges to be the same as intrusive thoughts and they went once I had worked on my core fears. I’ll give more detail on this in my next Q&A 😊
@@jadet1337 thank you so much!! Also your video on hormones hit home as well! I'm 47 so I'm hitting perimenopause and have noticed definite spikes at certain times. I don't track because of the ocd. Hearing your video was so helpful!! Thank you!!
@@SS-cj3mu Hi again, keep an eye out as my latest Q&A video will be live soon and I've answered your questions. I'm so pleased the hormones video helped too!
Hey Jade, I love it when you mentioned it, that we are much more stronger then we think we are. Because most of the times i dont realize that i lost most of my childhood and youth due to OCD suffering. We know that stopping the catastrophize thinking is part of the Journy, so when I'm trying to admit to myself or to others that i've been trough a lot, then the Guilt comes up beacuse there is always someone who has it harder than me. It feels like I am beeing to harsh on myself and I should not feel that i experienced very hard times. What advice would you give? Thank you!!
Hey Jade, I had a real event where I kissed somebody else in a moment of madness and it sparked all of my ROCD fears, my partner didn’t care and brushed it off but I want to know how you manage the 2 themes together when there has been infidelity/conflict/trust issues etc in a relationship. Thanks
Hey! Thanks for your question I have a lot to share on this one and will cover it on my next Q&A. In a nutshell - this sounds like a relationship imperfection and why must a relationship be perfect? (I’ll break that down I promise) 😊
Exactly that! I feel like it’s tainted now, when actually it’s a reality of life, but my OCD can’t seem to grasp this and makes me believe I’ve had a full blown affair rather than a drunken kiss. Many thanks for the reply 😊
I have done erp have done cbt and in touch with therapist I am so much better now. Married and with two kids..but hocd took my life and have come long way..but some where I am still having some fear .. wondering what I should indo next. I don't know or understand rebt...so need help in getting me started with disputing beliefs..who should I start with..I am also confined financially
Always look forward to hearing from Jade! And thanks for answering my question!
So pleased it was useful 😊
Thank you so much for answering my question Jade! This was exactly what I needed ❤🩹
So very welcome, Luca
Thanks so much for the response Jade.
I definitely agree I tried too hard to be almost nonchalant about it which is effectively impossible and have seen that in reality , in time, even though the mental suffering would be significant, I could theoretically survive and like others have, come to terms with my situation.
Where I get stuck is actually having made progress, I have seen the good dad side of me, the person I would consider me I guess and cannot then comprehend how it could happen save losing my mind or having a split personality 😂.
Plus it has morphed to basically anyone or anything I love, family, pets etc which goes back to what you said of actually noticing OCD operating, not just being POCD which I’m very adept at now.
How did you differentiate between suspecting it to be OCD vs reassurance? My mindset is, I reckon I’m being bluffed here, can’t know 100 percent for certain but I’ll take the chance, but fear of fear often kicks in with the old, that’s reassurance!
I get the notion that perhaps it’s hard wired in to some people to behave in certain ways but it makes it harder to think that way when you’ve had prolonged periods of feeling normal I guess and have seen the results of OCD treatment working.
Hey Matthew, could it be that “good dad” is the issue? I know I held a very rigid belief about good parents, good people, bad people- I’ll talk about this next time I do a Q&A but that’s something to think on in the meantime I reckon 🤩
Hey Jade, no I wouldn’t say so, I’m in full agreement with the notion of people not being fully good or bad.
For me, it’s more the power of the imagination, for example, mine morphed to then the same fears towards my wife, mum, dog etc to the point OCD wants you locked in a cell for the rest of your life with no communication with anyone else.
Then following this, I’d have a nice normal few days where I’d feel great, a loving dad, husband etc so trying to make peace was super hard as I was like, well unless I have a split personality or something, my brain cannot comprehend it!
For me, I guess I need to simply take the risk, and whatever happens in life, I’ll apply REBT to the situation to see why it’s still worth carrying on but trying to make peace with it just caused OCD to constantly move the goalposts and created a deeper level of confusion and attention giving to the thoughts which in all honesty, I don’t believe, I just have the OCD niggling doubt.
It basically became that anything I could ever love or care about, OCD would go for, and then unlatch to certain ones after being left alone!
I suppose if you relapsed tomorrow, how could you comprehend that your fears might possibly be true after having seen yourself as the parent and person you are now that you’re in recovery? Unless your entire personality changed, I can’t see how you could comprehend it?
@@matthewdavy293 hi Matthew, I completely understand - the next Q&A will be on the channel in the next day or so - keep an eye out where I'll add my additional thoughts on this. Thanks, Jade
love you Jade !!
😊💗
Just another question about my fatigue. Thanks to my exhaustion I feel less in touch with the world. My hobbies feel less fun, my memory feels muted but when the fatigue lifts it comes back. I want to feel like that more again but sometimes it feels like that won't happen. Do I have to get comfortable with my fatigue and accept that life isn't always amazing? I obviously want to keep that happiness extended but it's hard.
Hi Luca - you’ve gone and answered your own question really well there 🎉 I will talk about this on my next Q&A too, to give some more insight 😊
Hey Luca keep an eye out on the channel for the latest Q&A video going live in the next day or so where I've answered your question :)
@@jadet1337 Thank you so much! ❤️
Thank you for answering my question jade ❤️
Hey Ellen, you’re very welcome 😊
Thank you for answering my question!
Hey Aaron, you’re very welcome 😊
Hi Jade! Your videos are amazing and I so appreciate them! I just started reading the books and have listened to a lot of content in the videos and have come a long way from where I was. My main issue is with harm ocd which of course has been centered around the most important thing in my life...my child. My questions are did you have urges related to your ocd theme and how did you handle them in the moment when as we all know they feel so real? I'm not avoiding anymore, I stay put when I feel them but I don't even want to hug him in that moment. I'm just starting to dispute my core beliefs and my anxiety is so much better but this is keeping me in that fear cycle. Thank you!
Hi there so glad you’ve found my videos helpful- in a nutshell I have found urges to be the same as intrusive thoughts and they went once I had worked on my core fears. I’ll give more detail on this in my next Q&A 😊
@@jadet1337 thank you so much!! Also your video on hormones hit home as well! I'm 47 so I'm hitting perimenopause and have noticed definite spikes at certain times. I don't track because of the ocd. Hearing your video was so helpful!! Thank you!!
@@SS-cj3mu Hi again, keep an eye out as my latest Q&A video will be live soon and I've answered your questions. I'm so pleased the hormones video helped too!
Thank you!!
Hey Jade, I love it when you mentioned it, that we are much more stronger then we think we are. Because most of the times i dont realize that i lost most of my childhood and youth due to OCD suffering.
We know that stopping the catastrophize thinking is part of the Journy, so when I'm trying to admit to myself or to others that i've been trough a lot, then the Guilt comes up beacuse there is always someone who has it harder than me. It feels like I am beeing to harsh on myself and I should not feel that i experienced very hard times. What advice would you give?
Thank you!!
Hi Loni, I’ve definitely felt all of those things and I’ll cover your question in my next Q&A ❤
Hi Loni, keep an eye out in the next day or so as I'll be answering your question on my upcoming Q&A video.
Hey Jade, I had a real event where I kissed somebody else in a moment of madness and it sparked all of my ROCD fears, my partner didn’t care and brushed it off but I want to know how you manage the 2 themes together when there has been infidelity/conflict/trust issues etc in a relationship. Thanks
Hey! Thanks for your question I have a lot to share on this one and will cover it on my next Q&A. In a nutshell - this sounds like a relationship imperfection and why must a relationship be perfect? (I’ll break that down I promise) 😊
Exactly that! I feel like it’s tainted now, when actually it’s a reality of life, but my OCD can’t seem to grasp this and makes me believe I’ve had a full blown affair rather than a drunken kiss. Many thanks for the reply 😊
@@bagsandshoes15 the video of my latest q&a will be live soon and I've answered your question - keep an eye out in the next day or so :)
I have done erp have done cbt and in touch with therapist I am so much better now. Married and with two kids..but hocd took my life and have come long way..but some where I am still having some fear .. wondering what I should indo next. I don't know or understand rebt...so need help in getting me started with disputing beliefs..who should I start with..I am also confined financially
Hey Smitha, I’ll do my best to share some insight into what I did in the hope it’s helpful in my next Q&A 😊
@@jadet1337 thank you and god bless
@@jadet1337 can yo share the video you addressing my question, missed it
@@smitsism hi it should be in this one > th-cam.com/video/ZFM4EEbnxmE/w-d-xo.html