3 UPDATES: Husband Meets New Friends & Is Immediately Convinced That Being Single Is The Best Way..
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 24 ก.ย. 2024
- 3 UPDATES: Husband Meets New Friends & Is Immediately Convinced That Being Single Is The Best Way Of Living So Files For A Divorce, Leaving Me & The Kids Behind But All His Friends Get Into Relationships Soon After So He Shows Up To The Door Begging For His Life Back So I Responded... We're Not Your Family!!
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I (29F) got married six years ago but have been divorced for three years now. I have two sons with my ex-husband Adam (30M), aged four and five but I have full custody of them since he didn't want to be "bogged down" because of his family. He and I were happily married for three years, had two beautiful kids, and were even planning on buying our own house so we could move out from the apartment we lived in when he suddenly hit me with the "I want to be single and explore the world right now".
Oh there is some HUGE AUDACITY to not only abandon your family but also tell your own wife that she should ALSO abandon the kids as well. That’s getting you a back handed slap to the face
He would be dead to me after that. I can’t believe she was even nice enough to drive the kids to his place of choosing instead of him picking them up after that.
Op isn't heartless, that's a pretty disgusting sight to open your door to.
Want to bet as soon as he figures out that OP really won't take him back he will disappear and those kids will NEVER see him again.
This is long. Basic idea is the first sentence.
You'd be surprised at how hard desperate hope will keep a person trying, however futile. He has nothing. He's a man who left his wife and kids to be "one of the guys". He had no inkling to think of the future with those "boys" or how even logically, they would keep it up in their old age. He feels cheated but obviously it was his lack of foresight (and basic decency for his family) that caused this. No one will ever want someone like that. His only hope is to keep being around because he's not getting any younger. He has SOME rights and visitation. It's also with his ex-wife needing to be there so there's another chance at him abusing the relationship with the kids to talk to her. He will stick around until he can convince SOMEONE he's not a piece of trash. As long as he keeps being present in his kid's lives from this day forward, he will always have his foot in the door for a relationship with his ex-wife (from his POV), or at the very least a relationship with his kids so he doesn't look like a complete piece of trash to anyone watching.
As a parent, if you bring children into this world it’s the parents responsibility to make sure you put their needs first.
if I was her I would have told the kids imideatly why their daddy left in the first place
Adam paying child support has nothing to do with him coming home like nothing happened. He doesn’t have the right to try to move back in, let him see his kids but you don’t have to have anything else to do with him other than just being a co-parent.
I imagine they wouldn’t even have paid if legally they didn’t have to. Adam Didn’t pay they did probably to protect his dumb ass
If she can prove that the grandparents had been paying the child support then Adam shouldn't have parental rights.
Okay I agree that the friend group isn’t entirely at fault for Adam’s divorce but I feel like if your friend decided to leave his wife and kids just to fit in with the single life.
The appropriate response should’ve been “woah now, take a step back” instead of being congratulatory that you “converted” somebody.
You aren't his family anymore. You didn't decide that. He did.
So, male friends can ruin other people relationships and being total hypocrites too.
Good to know
It's not a gender thing AT ALL. It's just another stereotype about women that they are easily influenced, just like the stereotype that women are gossips and talk a lot. There have been actual studies that prove all of this untrue, and having worked in a male dominated profession for decades, I can attest to how easily persuadable many men are and how much they gossip and overtalk women in meetings.
I honestly suspect the moment the male cousin realizes that he not destroyed some unknown marriage life but someone he indirectly knew he realized very fast how messed up his thinking was :/
@@TheTrueKarinand saying she’s deadweight.
Imagine being in a restaurant or store . Seeing her. Knowing she knows everything you said…
@@Denverbroncos87 Uncomfortable 😣
The only visitation adam could get at this point would be supervised visits. Even then it would probably only be once a month for a few hours. He's a complete stranger to them.
If he wanted to travel he could have done that with his wife and children but he choose to be a street dog
please don't hate on dogs.
I disagree. A dog would NEVER abandon its family.
@@shells500tutubo i hate street dogs bcz I was bitten
Does the Guinness Book of World Records have a category for dumbest reasons to get divorced???
Add to that how moronic he was to think that he would be welcomed back
@@breezy3392 If she had remarried him I would have hated her EVEN MORE than him.
Can't think for himself and he is definitely the type to end up in a cult.
That’s why things aren’t always greener ! Honestly Adam had insecurities of his own long before this “friend group” and used it as an excuse to fill up a void within himself
Wait a minute is this the same cousin that bragged about converting your husband into leaving you guys. This cousin is not without sin. Yes your husband was a grown adult made his decision but it sounds to me like he was pressured I would have turned to the cousin said excuse me weren't you the one bragging how you converted a man into leaving his family. Yeah you have to take your share of responsibility. And I wouldn't have anything to do with the cousin or the husband! You block your husband and everything and you tell his parents that if he keeps bothering you you will be putting a restraining order in.
Well he belonged to a different school of thought and op husband responsibility to choose his wife and children not some ppl he met a few months ago
Cousin was definitely not responsible for any of this
If anyone leave their wife and children for traveling well he is scumbag
Wow, cousins a self-centered, hypocritical dumbass as well
Fuck Adam nobody made him do anything. He is just a terrible weak willed person who will always follow the crowd.
You go OP!
Something like this happened to one of my mom's really gorgeous aunts. Aunt and her friends made a pact when they were 15 to never get married and live together as old ladies, one by one everyone else secretly got in relationships or got married without telling her and she delusionally stayed single and kept rejecting offers after offers. Her friends even encouraged her to do that.
Some of them said they were moving away for studies but actually went to live with their husbands and no one actually told her anything. By the time she found out she was 38 (not considered a marriageable age in our country) and also she was so heart broken by their betrayal she could never trust anyone again. She is 60 now and still looks like she could be 38. So beautiful.
The grandparents paying child support to keep the Dil (OP) loyal.... disgusting.
So OP's hubby wanted to come back after his new friends got relationships and were no longer single. f him, he did this once, he'll do it again when he gets new friends. He's a weakling who's too easy influenced by other people. Remember when adam left he blocked OP and never had contact for those years he was away. In a lot of state if a child was in foster care and the parent didn't visit for more than a year, they'd be trying to terminate those parent's rights and put them the children up for adoption. This father is in that kind of position. You don't get to stay away for years and then come back expecting for everything to be normal and act like nothing happened. It's amazing how many prima donnas pull this nonsense of staying away without any contact for years and then come back trying to act like nothing happened and that the person they left will welcome them back with open arms.
Yea, the kids are young and most likely barely remember their dad. They can’t just thrust them out there with someone they don’t know anymore. He abandoned his family for 3 years…years, not weeks or months. Everyone has changed and I wouldn’t be surprised if his kids hated him for leaving them all.
I would be interested to know if anyone told the women the other men started to date that they “converted a man to their ideology and abandoned his family “.
Husband is a spineless AH. If he wasn't happy he can go. Like love solves everything, marriage and family needs love yes but also compromised and duty thats what makes a marriage work.
Let me guess...He blew all of his $$$😂😂😂
Anybody else thinks, her ex was like this because of his parents?
Like it really seems like Op‘s ex In-laws did not raise there son probably or hold him accountable.
…what did they thought, that mandatory child support is some sort of payment for Op that they can influence her with?
„Yeah, our son abandoned you and our kids, never visited and we were also not very much present but we payed child support - So know he is back and wants to have its way again.
Where is the problem?“😅😂
Wow, after 3 years and he thinks he can just walk in and pick up where he left off. That man child is delusional.
Too bad you can't sue them for spousal alienation.
How is op meant to live life to the fullest like the ex-husband when she is a single parent?
Wow. A variation of the "and the new feminista friends convinced the wife to divorce"
Your inlaws have paid the child support - not their father.
There is an endless stream of people behaving like Op's ex. Doing exactly what he did is so common you could call it normal...
... but this is the first time I've heard a version of this all too common behaviour from a man.
You can't have kids and then just abandon them lol It doesn't work like that! This loser ruined everything for himself. Now he has to deal with the consequences
Nta. Adam desserted his fanily for three years and even though he had visitation rights he barely saw them. He is a stranger to his children through his own fault. However the children still need a chance to get to know their father.
Adam seek help.
I'm not saying Adam isn't wrong, cause he is! But Adam and op were in a relationship since high school, he never experienced being carefree. So yea he was easy to sway. But Adam is so very wrong here, leaving your wife is one thing, but he abandoned his kids, so Adam is a scam sucking loser
The time to sow your wild oats is BEFORE you marry, let alone have children.
Adam is weak minded.
People with no self confidence or any real convictions are often easily swayed.
Lady, is your self esteem so low at you would open your marriage just to keep him? Good grief 😞
They were very young and inexperienced when they got together and then married. I have seen much older people allowing a partner to "open" the marriage against their gut feelings about it, so I don't fault her for anything she did.
The irony in this one is off the charts!
Husband left because he never grew up and is still trying to fit in with the "cool kids". OP is mad because he let a bunch of other people tell him what to do.
So OP gets on Reddit... to have a bunch of other people tell her what to do.
I understand looking for advice.....but I'm still going to laugh at the complete irony. 😄😄😄
Not what to do but to ease her conscience since unlike her ex husband she seems to have compassion but finding out that he's a yo boy made her respect for him less than zero, so she sought guidance since her bitterness may have been clouding her judgment
Hi so it's really pathetic if him but if him or his family kept sending the money every month then sorry but they definitely can avail the visitation if they want to. Sadly. Maybe if u didn't accept the money from them those yrs and let them spend time with inlaws now u can fight it was out of kindness u did but u managed on ur own. Sadly they still do. Also if he was just a dumb loafer and not a criminal then u can definitely let ur kids interact with him and let ur kids decide if he's needed or not. I'm sure they won't want him. Let nature take it's course. In the mean time u don't every get back with him
So many of these stories have the woman doing the same, good to see some male representation finally in dumb relationship stories.
Quite frankly, it is so common to see men do this that it is almost not interesting as a story. It is much less common for a woman to abandon children she birthed. I think being pregnant and taking care of the kids, for most, but not all women makes it a little more difficult to disconnect from them and just leave. PPD and PPP along with addictions are usually the reason women abandon their families.
As a man I understand the sentiment hell more women abandon their family nowadays. He thinks his life should've been different, he was 24 and his life's plan was already set he was making sacrifices he didnt even think he'd have to worry about till 28-30. Tbh the only respect I have for him is that instead of doing what most women do by cheating to get a cheap thrill he atleast had the balls to end it. I think it's okay he got a divorce if he felt stiffled, it was an early life crisis but he shouldve never abandoned his children for her to raise.
Sorry but this story would have been more believable if OP were a man and his wife had been the one convinced to leave her husband for the single life since THAT'S what actually happens. LOL.
It really doesn't matter if OP was male and his wife was leaving due to that. The fact remains is, regardless of the gender, those type of people would do that
From my experience it is closer to 50/50. 5 divorces amongst friends and family. 2 by men, 2 by women and the last was mutual agreement (I assume one pushed more for it, but not sure who).
@@dianabialaskahansen2972 Both men and women are afflicted by this type of narcissism. Those who haven't sawn their wild oats often suggest open marriages, or they minimize the concept by committing to no kids. This is why it's generally best to wait before getting married.
It's almost as though you think men are incapable of making bad decisions 🙄
Anyone who thinks one type of people are always good and another type of people are always bad (regardless of what characteristics you are dividing the types by) is someone who is too immature or naive to understand people