For most people, nothing will be able to replace the need for intimacy. It’s hardwired in our biology. Islam recognizes this need and encourages marriage. It’s as simple as that. Cannot marry? Then fast, as it will (hopefully) reduce the desire, and even that is a temporary remedy. Cannot switch off biology forever.
and what if fasting doesn’t reduce it? marriage isn’t just so easy to get especially nowadays for multiple reasons such as men not being financially stable for us sisters to marry and parents not allowing it until after uni or after a certain age etc what do i do help please
@@random-k7e Then you just have to be patient. And if you cannot wait anymore, and you are for sure going to get involved in sin, there are options as misyar where the man does not have to provide financially. If the parents are saying no, then they need to understand why it is urgent, and also explain to them that it is obligatory to get married for the one who has come to the point where sin is a reality. Chastity is obligatory.
Salaam sister, As a 32 year old single guy, I just wanted to say THANK YOU for bringing up this super important topic, which is sadly not talked about in our community. I myself am struggling with this, and I’m working to change my mindset about it inshaAllah. And don’t let the haters get to you 😁
if anyone basis his/her marriage just out of sexual urges, there is a high chance that it may not work, one has to be very mature mentally and responsible before getting married, physical intimacy is just one part of the marriage which is of course important too but there are other challenges that one has to consider when it come to marriage.
5:52 ... That moment when you got very shy and barely said it hardly, it tells a lot. That's the shame Muslims (especially females) have. Keep it like this sister, you have a value; a real value in a world where shyness is bizarre.
A major struggle indeed. I'd like to add: fixing exercise, sleep, and food specifically in that order really help you channel that energy. You can think of it as an energy which you can use in many ways (for me heavy exercise helps me a lot) Also realize that many many emotions such as exhaustion, hunger, frustration, stress, all can come out as sexual urges Satisfy as many of your other needs as possible (including emotional needs), to avoid unnecessary urges. even at your healthiest state, you will still have many urges and it won't be perfectly comfortable, it's just damage control. A good analogy to acting on your sexual urges is something we're all familiar with: FOOD The urge/expectation is always much greater than the satisfaction you get. Sometimes it's actually nice to feel the urge, you feel alive, (try) to just sit with it and feel the energy, feel the testosterone/estrogen, you just feel so alive! Instead of feeling sorry for yourself 👎👎, it's really crippling when i do that. Either bare with it with a positive mindset or better yet, think of it as "excitement" and try to channel it to something else like exercise or a hobby
I have to disagree. Satisfying other needs, exercising, being phsyically fit, eating better and cleaner, planning and being more successfull in general only increased my libido and thereby my sexual urges. On top of that, the other sex notices me more and I get more attenton. It only made things harder, for me at least. So as the top comment summarized nicely, "cannot switch off biology forever", and thats that.
@@Omer-tm1qb you're not switching off the biology, you're minimizing the unnecessary urges. And about the natural urges, this goes deep and is specific to gender and I don't want to get into the masterbation discussion, BUT You're body does have a natural way of releasing with wet dreams, and if you're one of those people where it doesn't happen as often because you're body got used to masterbation, then there might be no choice but to continue with that This needs an entire article/video/discussion on its own. And yes i agree, working out really spikes my urges but overall the fake urges almost all go away, and natural urges happen every few days not 24hours Food analogy: eating cuz you're bored vs eating when you're body needs nutrition. You're still gonna get hungry but not for fake reasons
Mashallah. You did an excellent job on addressing a problem and giving solutions to where someone is at so they can find hope and a direction forward. Keep your head held high, Lana. Haters just hate themselves.
Excessive and uncontrollable desire can also be due to possession (whether isolated possession or secondary to ayn or sihr). Most people that are possessed don’t know that they are possessed. Self ruqya might help in these cases. I recommend not skipping your morning and evening protection duaas, especially especially especially “La illaha illa Allahu wahdahu la sharika lahu, lahu al mulku wa lahu al hamdu wa huwa ‘ala kullu shayin ghadeer” x 100 after fajr AND x 100 after Asr. This dhikr I just mentioned is my absolute top tip and is literally life changing.
But I also feel like the widespread of porn has made people have a NEED for it. If porn is in your life, it is 100% the problem. 100%. You cannot function without overwhelming sexual urges and also watch porn.
@@abbyk7341 The need is there regardless. It’s a natural need created from inside of us, not outside, just as sleeping and eating are innate needs. Porn will for sure highten the desire and not help the situation, just like watching food will not help the one who has to fast and restrict calorie consumption.
Actually never thought about that. Personally not that big on "sexual requirements". I just thought people were different, there are women and men that have sexual needs and people who either have very little sexual requirements
basically have another fulfilling habits or things to do in your life that will lessen or make you forget these chronic sexual urges, at least until you have a spouse
I know you don't want to be vulgar with the words but saying "mess around" and "have fun" instead of committing zina isn't right.. you're downplaying the gravity of the sin, although as i said i understand you try to water down the terms so instead of saying people might have sex outside of marriage, you say they mess around.. but it's important to not downplay the sin.
Although messing around is not all about having sex it includes minor physical affections too much is considered haram and a door way to zina Also its no shame for a lady talking in public to have some hayaa as long as the idea is conveyed
Get a job or work hard to get a career that you want and then work hard once again in finding a spouse you like. Both are struggles but only for once In shaa Allah! Masturbation will only bring Allah's anger and problems upon you. And when you struggle to make a career with the intention of marrying a desired partner Allah will see that struggle and he will reward you In shaa Allah! Surely Allah doesn't leaves his rightful and obedient servants! And he knows what's in their hearts and their rightful desires! And with Duaas and Tahajjud everything can be fixed In shaa Allah!
I have had many chances with multiple girls but I felt grssd out. I simply wanted to do it with the woman who loves and cares about me. It’s not a want for us men, rather a need. Just like good and money but we can struggle and not get it from temu. yes, we men feel guilty ah unless we are addicted to drgs
Slap yourself, pinch yourself, talk to yourself but dont start doing Master*** just because you are single and cant get married. You will be able someday to marry but if the wheel of master**** started, it never stops, dont make that pathway in your brain. The straight answer to this topic was; Control yourself if you have urges and desires and if you cannot get marry. Kindly dont talk about things you dont have expertise in. Am not a hater, i watch your videos, they are all good, but saying that thing you said, i wasn’t expecting that. Fast, add things in your life that would make you a good spouse. Learn how to be a good spouse etc. these are the things one should be doing rather crying they have urges. Everybody has urges, learn to control them when you cant get marry.
She was talking about the case when somebody is doing adultery and sleeps with women or vice versa To them masturbation is is a solution if they live in a place where there is a LOT LOT of fitnah and lots of attractiveness wherever they go and they have no other option There are Fatwas that you can look them up but they are for specific people that live in specific places you know Let's say for example a guy is living in a country where there's a lot of homosexuality around that he started to get attracted to men and wants to do it with them and he can't stop that desire anymore I can say then if he asks a Sheikh he would probably give him a fatwah to masturbate so he doesn't fall in homosexuality since it's way way greater than just normal straight adultery but Allah knows best But yeah, this is something that exists in Islam, for some people masturbation is a solution or you can say it's way less bad than other outcomes that they can fall into and may Allah guide us and give strength to endure lust and may Allah grant us righteous spouses that will relieve us from this constant pain
@@MisterMehdiI still don’t think it’s a better solution. It’s addictive and play with hormone of the brain just like drugs. Better off to stay far away from such acts. I’m no Mufti. So I don’t speak of Authority
Sister with all due respect. I understand the intention, but I felt very uncomfortable watching this video. It felt like my watching my little sister talk about sex. Wallah it upset me. We shouldn’t normalise these sins. I know it’s very widespread, but the more we talk of it the more it endangers those who are innocent of it. There will be some watching this video who don’t sleep around but do struggle, but then this video is almost a green pass to replace sex with some other actions. May Allah protect us. The men of this ummah should not be ‘taking care of themselves’. It will only make the cycle worse !!
I kind of agree. Although she did mention that only those who are already trapped in the cycle of fornication should masturbate. And it makes sense to commit a lesser evil than falling for a far greater vile sin. She definitely was counterproductive to her narrative though, where she mentioned that your "wants" can seem like "needs", so I think that applies to every person whether it's too hard to control your urges or if it's manageable. All in all, she could've voiced it better but I don't blame her, it's a sensitive topic, especially when you're talking to the whole world!
@@abmddm Something about it didn't sit right with me, I have to be honest. I don't have enough knowledge to comment on if she's right or wrong, but it was just painful watching her talk about it. Some topics are sensitive for a reason, and not everything has to be commented on. Creating fulfilling goals in life, I liked that. We're living in a time of self-indulgence, and so greater importance is placed now on self-pleasure. That should not mean we compromise our deen.
@screation3458 Many of the scholars do suggest self-pleasure if it will stop you from commiting zina. And we must talk about sexuality and educate ourselves by reading texts regarding it but definitely in private settings with someone who's knowledgeable and can give some good advices. I do think this video will help some people and it will leave a good mark, In Sha Allah. On that note, let's strive to be better Muslims for our Lord as individuals and also for the community and our loved ones. And always keep all the Muslims in our Dua, esp. the oppressed. Free 🇵🇸!
She is not encouraging something. She is just trying to give a solution to a problem. Also, talking about these topics is important. I remember like 20 years ago the biology professor was talking in our class about periods in women and how to take care of yourself in this case. This topic was never talked in my family, so it was a good way to learn. But there other classmates saying their father is going to beat up this professor for taking about this topic. Imagine the ignorance!!! There is nothing wrong teaching/talking about these topics in a respectful way.
It's a sensitive topic and it is absolutely NEEDED to be addressed. Thanks for taking the courage and talking about it. Kudos to your work!
For most people, nothing will be able to replace the need for intimacy. It’s hardwired in our biology. Islam recognizes this need and encourages marriage. It’s as simple as that. Cannot marry? Then fast, as it will (hopefully) reduce the desire, and even that is a temporary remedy. Cannot switch off biology forever.
I always find it strange when scholars say if you fear your gonna commit sin you should marry but like who
@ That is the ruling. Actually, that is the only time it is obligatory to marry.
Allah swt does not burden someone with more than they can manage
and what if fasting doesn’t reduce it? marriage isn’t just so easy to get especially nowadays for multiple reasons such as men not being financially stable for us sisters to marry and parents not allowing it until after uni or after a certain age etc what do i do help please
@@random-k7e Then you just have to be patient. And if you cannot wait anymore, and you are for sure going to get involved in sin, there are options as misyar where the man does not have to provide financially. If the parents are saying no, then they need to understand why it is urgent, and also explain to them that it is obligatory to get married for the one who has come to the point where sin is a reality. Chastity is obligatory.
Salaam sister,
As a 32 year old single guy, I just wanted to say THANK YOU for bringing up this super important topic, which is sadly not talked about in our community. I myself am struggling with this, and I’m working to change my mindset about it inshaAllah.
And don’t let the haters get to you 😁
why u watching a non mahram, shush away
@@BilluDon420😂🙏
You did a great job keeping this appropriate and handling your embarrassment, very educational thank you
if anyone basis his/her marriage just out of sexual urges, there is a high chance that it may not work, one has to be very mature mentally and responsible before getting married, physical intimacy is just one part of the marriage which is of course important too but there are other challenges that one has to consider when it come to marriage.
5:52 ... That moment when you got very shy and barely said it hardly, it tells a lot. That's the shame Muslims (especially females) have. Keep it like this sister, you have a value; a real value in a world where shyness is bizarre.
A major struggle indeed.
I'd like to add: fixing exercise, sleep, and food specifically in that order really help you channel that energy.
You can think of it as an energy which you can use in many ways (for me heavy exercise helps me a lot)
Also realize that many many emotions such as exhaustion, hunger, frustration, stress, all can come out as sexual urges
Satisfy as many of your other needs as possible (including emotional needs), to avoid unnecessary urges.
even at your healthiest state, you will still have many urges and it won't be perfectly comfortable, it's just damage control.
A good analogy to acting on your sexual urges is something we're all familiar with: FOOD
The urge/expectation is always much greater than the satisfaction you get.
Sometimes it's actually nice to feel the urge, you feel alive, (try) to just sit with it and feel the energy, feel the testosterone/estrogen, you just feel so alive! Instead of feeling sorry for yourself 👎👎, it's really crippling when i do that.
Either bare with it with a positive mindset or better yet, think of it as "excitement" and try to channel it to something else like exercise or a hobby
Once again excellent summation 👍🏽
I have to disagree. Satisfying other needs, exercising, being phsyically fit, eating better and cleaner, planning and being more successfull in general only increased my libido and thereby my sexual urges. On top of that, the other sex notices me more and I get more attenton. It only made things harder, for me at least. So as the top comment summarized nicely, "cannot switch off biology forever", and thats that.
@@Omer-tm1qb you're not switching off the biology, you're minimizing the unnecessary urges.
And about the natural urges, this goes deep and is specific to gender and I don't want to get into the masterbation discussion, BUT
You're body does have a natural way of releasing with wet dreams, and if you're one of those people where it doesn't happen as often because you're body got used to masterbation, then there might be no choice but to continue with that
This needs an entire article/video/discussion on its own.
And yes i agree, working out really spikes my urges but overall the fake urges almost all go away, and natural urges happen every few days not 24hours
Food analogy: eating cuz you're bored vs eating when you're body needs nutrition.
You're still gonna get hungry but not for fake reasons
Really appreciate you addressing this topic! Its a big problem no one talks about! May Allah reward you immensely ❤
Mashallah. You did an excellent job on addressing a problem and giving solutions to where someone is at so they can find hope and a direction forward. Keep your head held high, Lana. Haters just hate themselves.
جَزَاكَ ٱللَّٰهُ خَيْرً for posting such a hard topic to discuss
awkward topic. but you're a brave one sister. MashAllah. keep spreading the good word on everything Allah and Islam. May Allah help you on your quest.
Oh lama❤, thank you very much for digging into this topic..may Allah grant you jannah for your help and kindness ❤
Excessive and uncontrollable desire can also be due to possession (whether isolated possession or secondary to ayn or sihr). Most people that are possessed don’t know that they are possessed. Self ruqya might help in these cases. I recommend not skipping your morning and evening protection duaas, especially especially especially “La illaha illa Allahu wahdahu la sharika lahu, lahu al mulku wa lahu al hamdu wa huwa ‘ala kullu shayin ghadeer” x 100 after fajr AND x 100 after Asr. This dhikr I just mentioned is my absolute top tip and is literally life changing.
❤
Mashallah sister, you make it simple and plain for the genuine viewers. ❤
But I also feel like the widespread of porn has made people have a NEED for it. If porn is in your life, it is 100% the problem. 100%. You cannot function without overwhelming sexual urges and also watch porn.
@@abbyk7341 The need is there regardless. It’s a natural need created from inside of us, not outside, just as sleeping and eating are innate needs. Porn will for sure highten the desire and not help the situation, just like watching food will not help the one who has to fast and restrict calorie consumption.
Actually never thought about that. Personally not that big on "sexual requirements". I just thought people were different, there are women and men that have sexual needs and people who either have very little sexual requirements
basically have another fulfilling habits or things to do in your life that will lessen or make you forget these chronic sexual urges, at least until you have a spouse
Give 5 examples for men
I am sad that women like you are getting very rare nowadays😢 And we muslim men struggles more and more with that topic... May Allah bless you, sister!
I know you don't want to be vulgar with the words but saying "mess around" and "have fun" instead of committing zina isn't right.. you're downplaying the gravity of the sin, although as i said i understand you try to water down the terms so instead of saying people might have sex outside of marriage, you say they mess around.. but it's important to not downplay the sin.
I totally agree that was my remark as well
She is clearly super shy she couldn't think straight
Although messing around is not all about having sex it includes minor physical affections too much is considered haram and a door way to zina
Also its no shame for a lady talking in public to have some hayaa as long as the idea is conveyed
@@cnxghost are you by any chance retarded?
Give her a break bro. She’s trying her best. How many people ever addressed this topic in our community
you did amazing covering this topic, thanks you so much for talking about this🤗
Get a job or work hard to get a career that you want and then work hard once again in finding a spouse you like. Both are struggles but only for once In shaa Allah! Masturbation will only bring Allah's anger and problems upon you. And when you struggle to make a career with the intention of marrying a desired partner Allah will see that struggle and he will reward you In shaa Allah! Surely Allah doesn't leaves his rightful and obedient servants! And he knows what's in their hearts and their rightful desires! And with Duaas and Tahajjud everything can be fixed In shaa Allah!
Alhamdulillah
Thank you
Best way to explain.... love u lama
mashAllah
MuizzyGo just subscribed
what if you have a fulfilling life but still feel like this?
Do men feel guilty after sleeping around out of wed lock? I never thought so?
I have had many chances with multiple girls but I felt grssd out. I simply wanted to do it with the woman who loves and cares about me. It’s not a want for us men, rather a need. Just like good and money but we can struggle and not get it from temu. yes, we men feel guilty ah unless we are addicted to drgs
Slap yourself, pinch yourself, talk to yourself but dont start doing Master*** just because you are single and cant get married. You will be able someday to marry but if the wheel of master**** started, it never stops, dont make that pathway in your brain. The straight answer to this topic was; Control yourself if you have urges and desires and if you cannot get marry. Kindly dont talk about things you dont have expertise in. Am not a hater, i watch your videos, they are all good, but saying that thing you said, i wasn’t expecting that.
Fast, add things in your life that would make you a good spouse. Learn how to be a good spouse etc. these are the things one should be doing rather crying they have urges. Everybody has urges, learn to control them when you cant get marry.
She was talking about the case when somebody is doing adultery and sleeps with women or vice versa
To them masturbation is is a solution if they live in a place where there is a LOT LOT of fitnah and lots of attractiveness wherever they go and they have no other option
There are Fatwas that you can look them up but they are for specific people that live in specific places you know
Let's say for example a guy is living in a country where there's a lot of homosexuality around that he started to get attracted to men and wants to do it with them and he can't stop that desire anymore
I can say then if he asks a Sheikh he would probably give him a fatwah to masturbate so he doesn't fall in homosexuality since it's way way greater than just normal straight adultery but Allah knows best
But yeah, this is something that exists in Islam, for some people masturbation is a solution or you can say it's way less bad than other outcomes that they can fall into and may Allah guide us and give strength to endure lust and may Allah grant us righteous spouses that will relieve us from this constant pain
@@MisterMehdiI still don’t think it’s a better solution. It’s addictive and play with hormone of the brain just like drugs. Better off to stay far away from such acts. I’m no Mufti. So I don’t speak of Authority
is hunger and thirst a want or a need?
but yes i agree with you
Assalamu alaikum ❤❤
Thank you for putting you're embarrassment aside and making this video
🚨
Sex is everywhere
By the way, are you married?
She is
Isn't masturbation a sin in Islam?
Yes it is
All the horrific things in the world
Reflect that...... GOD is not real......
HUMAN create GOD,
An Atheist and a Scientist.
The woman needs to like the man more in order for it to work
What
@tanura5830 You heard me the first time
@@razer0072073 they don't like anything, their brain is broken.
@@razer0072073 Their brains are broken. They don't like anything. So it doesn't matter what they like or not like.
Sister with all due respect. I understand the intention, but I felt very uncomfortable watching this video. It felt like my watching my little sister talk about sex. Wallah it upset me. We shouldn’t normalise these sins. I know it’s very widespread, but the more we talk of it the more it endangers those who are innocent of it. There will be some watching this video who don’t sleep around but do struggle, but then this video is almost a green pass to replace sex with some other actions. May Allah protect us. The men of this ummah should not be ‘taking care of themselves’. It will only make the cycle worse !!
I kind of agree. Although she did mention that only those who are already trapped in the cycle of fornication should masturbate. And it makes sense to commit a lesser evil than falling for a far greater vile sin. She definitely was counterproductive to her narrative though, where she mentioned that your "wants" can seem like "needs", so I think that applies to every person whether it's too hard to control your urges or if it's manageable. All in all, she could've voiced it better but I don't blame her, it's a sensitive topic, especially when you're talking to the whole world!
@@abmddm Something about it didn't sit right with me, I have to be honest. I don't have enough knowledge to comment on if she's right or wrong, but it was just painful watching her talk about it. Some topics are sensitive for a reason, and not everything has to be commented on. Creating fulfilling goals in life, I liked that. We're living in a time of self-indulgence, and so greater importance is placed now on self-pleasure. That should not mean we compromise our deen.
@screation3458 Many of the scholars do suggest self-pleasure if it will stop you from commiting zina. And we must talk about sexuality and educate ourselves by reading texts regarding it but definitely in private settings with someone who's knowledgeable and can give some good advices. I do think this video will help some people and it will leave a good mark, In Sha Allah. On that note, let's strive to be better Muslims for our Lord as individuals and also for the community and our loved ones. And always keep all the Muslims in our Dua, esp. the oppressed. Free 🇵🇸!
She is not encouraging something. She is just trying to give a solution to a problem.
Also, talking about these topics is important.
I remember like 20 years ago the biology professor was talking in our class about periods in women and how to take care of yourself in this case. This topic was never talked in my family, so it was a good way to learn. But there other classmates saying their father is going to beat up this professor for taking about this topic. Imagine the ignorance!!!
There is nothing wrong teaching/talking about these topics in a respectful way.
What your biology professor was talking about is nothing like what’s being talked about here!