Never ever chase. For many reasons. Hell don't even establish premise. Just automatically friendzone every woman you meet. It drives woman crazy. The funny part is I genuinely don't care, have my own life to live, I'm busy being successful and don't have time to date, and I don't sleep around. Don't be rude, just treat them like you would anyone else. I do this with really pretty girls that people are afraid to talk to, and I just treat them normally, they seem to go crazy. Never chase. Hell don't even care. Stop throwing yourself at woman and live your own life. It shows that you yourself don't need validation. Ironically this frame of mind will give you the most options.
StriderCX This is the truest comment in this comment section. Hell, even future has a line about this very approach. "Chase a check, never chase a bitch." Be yourself, and do you! Don't chase random strangers! Pick up artists don't tell you this cause they know it'll ruin their business. They're extremely vague with who to talk to and who not to. The truth is, many attractive women are constantly being chased by many other men, so, unless you look like an attractive celeb or are extremely rich, this technique or any technique for that matter, won't work. It definitely won't work if you're the average looking dude who tries this on a stranger. And let's be honest, that's probably the majority of you here. Believe me. I have experience. The best advice I can give, to add to StriderCX's comment is, focus on your own goals and let the women come to you. Don't chase! If the women come to you, then you work your game. THERE'S A BIG DIFFERENCE HERE MY DUDES!
StriderCX as a female i’d really just move on to the next guy if he kept friendzoning me like that. If you like her and she shows interest, show it back.
Yup! You’re focused on your purpose. Sometimes weeks can go by and she’ll randomly reply to your story on Instagram or somethin when she sees you’re winnin
You have a limit though you've got a year before your high grown falls short because women lose interest in men faster than man lose interest in women especially since the average guy isn't going to be looking like a super model there's going to be guys better looking than you so I agree but I just think you should add in something like " after a while of friend zoning you can make your move if you're really into her" to be realistic you know
youre saying better to not get your time wasted by beating around the bush, right? his advice has been tried n failed and is getting stale n exposed. I didn't have all the answers always but even I knew early on that looks n race matter. I have years of experience approaching women, making them laugh, getting numbers, watching other guys...but learning science too and careful reflection really nailed it and I'm alarmed how many clueless guys are on this. Most men/women find certain things in the opposite sex attractive, with LITTLE subjectivity. 1 source: Biologist Randy Thornhill (University of New Mexico) studying faces for 15 years. “Both men and women rated symmetrical members of the opposite sex as more attractive and in better health than their less symmetrical counterparts…” Men with higher degrees of symmetry enjoy more sexual partners “…because of the way that the sexual system in humans works, women are choosey.” Women pretend looks don’t matter but dismiss below average looking men regardless of personality, many studies confirm. Example: livescience study “Women Becoming Obese At Faster Rates Than Men” 1 source: Huffpost AND somehow: Men rate 50% of women below average looking, women rate 80% of men below average looking. (1 Source: OKC stats). Studies show attractive people hired sooner, get promotions more quickly, and are paid more. 1 Source: Businessinsider If personality can override looks/race: Why guys (including guys I know) who’ve never had the confidence to approach a girl, get treated like they’re confident/interesting (the Halo effect) get hit on and laid, even if they have modest anger or personality disorders, or are a criminal like Jeremy Meeks who had MANY random girls who saw his MUGSHOT offer to pay his bail to get “raped” by him, while ugly guys (some that I know) who have more confidence/character than all guys mentioned in this paragraph, get treated as invisible or as unconfident/uncool and are friendzoned? THEN many of them may get personality problems. There’s exceptions to every rule, especially if you’ve $ or status or the girl isn’t too outta your league etc. So rather than claim some minority of cases where “ugly” guys get “hot” girls, have an ugly guy go in person to young/fit girls of different races or make a profile & see what % of girls flirt, give their # & agree to date/kiss etc. Show the videos. Girls will get the best they can get in the following areas, more/less in this order: handsome, tall, fit, wealthy, high status. THEN there’s some subjective, side factors like her preferred race/fashion/personality/beliefs etc. I’ll be uploading insightful/fun videos on this topic in time. Sub n stay tuned, trust me. Or watch this for now: What REALLY Attracts Women: CHANNEL faceandlms
There's no such thing as a friend zone. American nuclear family at it's peak the last century, you didn't hear about bobs wife going to spend the afternoon with her friend Hank. If you did, then bobs wife is fucking Hank.
Problem is being straightforward can be full of bias from previous experience. So basically straigtforward can be packed with shitty mindgames that you may not even realize. Like you go up to someone and just say what’s on your mind “hi you’re super beautiful I love you”. Yeah you were straightforward, but that was only for you. For her, it may sound weird. You have to think before you say things, unless you just wanna bet that randomness will work.
Every set of social interactions is governed by certain rules. Learning how to operate within those parameters is not a ‘mindgame’ lmao. Part of game is in fact becoming the person who exhibits these behaviors ‘naturally.’ This discussion of ‘honesty’ and ‘ingenuousness’ in the beginning of relationships is mostly just a way to disarm naive girls and circumvent screening processes that you are insecure about failing. It essentially boils down to selfishness and resentment. I’ve heard guys criticize ‘modern’ dating as ‘inauthentic’ for this reason, and they always fit the ‘nice guy’ template: really warped attitudes towards women covered up by some lip service to feminist ideals.
there is definitely a risk of showing too much intent but showing zero intent won't get you the girl. Definitely getting it right is the most important
"As soon as the girl knows she has you, then sleeping with you is no longer a win. Dating you is no longer a win. Returning your call and getting you on the phone is no longer a win... When the girl is unsure, when the girl thinks your Higher Value and the girl thinks you have alot of options THEN in that situation it is a win for her...she's likely to follow up, she's likely to chase, and you're likely to get a MUCH better scenario." Todd's very own quote here perfectly epitomizes WHY some men get the girl and other men do not. Men, EXECUTE on this advice and you will start seeing MUCH better results immediately.
You are literally describing a guy, as soon as you show a man you are interested ONLY in him , he runs the other way because you are no longer a “challenge” men like playing games a lot.
Women are so dysfunctional. How ridiculous is it that a girl becomes less attracted to a man simply because she knows she can have him? That's soooo dumb. "I really like that watch, is it for sale?" "Yes." "Oh well I don't want it anymore..." wtf?! There is no such thing a healthy relationship with a woman. What women want isn't healthy. This world is never going to get better.
sweetness583 that’s sounds very specific to your life, don’t generalize. Maybe you are ugly and your ego is trying to blame women for not wanting to be with you. Is a possibility
nah, dude. What is discussed here are 'tactics to get laid every night you try'; that's not something 'normal' people do. Most 'normal' people just go out and have a fun time, and if something happens, it happens. I'm mostly watching these videos as I basically missed the 'prime establishing phase' where you get used to showing interest in girls - having a gf from age 15 to 23; being 100% loyal to them; and then getting thrown out into a world where you basically, as Todd eloquently said, need to "tell women you have a dick". You don't have to think about even a tenth of what he is saying; he is overanalyzing everything - and I'm sure he's aware of it; just so that people can pick up *some parts* of it.
Every girl that I've dated or been in a relationship with has told me later that they appreciated my directness. That by being forward, open, and honest, it showed them I knew what I wanted. And that air of confidence was what attracted them to me in the first place.
@@paulhk2727 didn't say i couldn't. i said i was raised to communicate. when you're interested tell her you'd like to go on a date and suggest a place. i was raised to date to find a permanent relationship, not to play to lay. there was a day when a man telling the woman his intentions and what his plans are in detail if she agreed to a date with him was a major turn on for her.
just approaching a woman and being any type of flirty in any location is a sign of intent.. I can't believe how fucking dumb some of you guys are not to realize the simplest shit.
@@owenluo3244 Some Asians are cute/hot enough but I'm not sure if I'd want to have a half Asian child... I've also heard some horror stories with Asian women too as they are becoming more feminist also.
This is all so true. I could never bring myself to do the kinds of opens that Todd describes. MUCH more powerful is simple, calm confidence. Speaking SLOWLY. Paying attention. Dominant eye contact. Revealing a bit about yourself. Being able to handle some tension, such as when you can't immediately think of something to say, and staying in there. And I'm a shy nervous guy inside, it's just practice and getting more experience. It doesn't take a lot of flamboyant technique to convey confidence, because most women don't see it very often from guys.
Ranin Zadviylet you good bro! No need to rush just start with this and make sure your at least attracted to her. Also remember they are Han just like you with flaws!!! Just say fuck it if they reject you keep it moving.
Todds content always makes me moist. I love ACTUAL discussion of TECHNIQUE. Instead of beating around the bush with more of a concept than actual information.
Putting out all your cards on the table will kill your game. You always want to seem like you're just slightly out of the girl's reach. Sick vid Todd !
Brian Choi thats not true, u show value when u say what u mean, what u feel. U already thinking what u said is a sign of lack of true alignment or real confidence. The ideas u have about game are just bullshit
Unfortunatly for me...I go crazy in my mind if I dont put out every card at once on the table...since I want to cut corners so I can get to the fun stuff immediatly. That being me talking about the deeper stuff with the girl. However, I do come across as creepy being too intemidate and girls always seemt to loose their interest in me. All I want is a slutty fuckbuddy that doesnt want me for my money.
@@shadshads7933 I think his point was you dont need to verbally state your intent to the woman. The act of approaching is showing enough intent, no need to say "youre so beautiful" etc etc
That's a very good point. I actually got myself so humiliated a few days ago for overtly showing an intent and giving all my power. The worst part is the girl wasnt event worth it, but I was blinded by how attracted I was to her and the fact that she danced with me. I totally ignored all the signs and I should've walked off once I realized she was way beneath me, but I was being a "nice guy" and didnt wanna de-validate her. Mistake #1 was that I didnt follow my instinct.
I have always wondered, if this many guys are so "bad" with women, what is it that women do to get guys? nothing? they just purely expect everything from guys? Then if thats the case how do women ever get bf's? and husbands? I don't get it. Game seems to put the women on a pedestal to such an incredibly degree. Don't kid yourself and say "but it teaches men not to", everything about game is about getting women by definition you are spending you entire time studying how to acquire these "women" rather than more meaningful things and let her put an effort to get you too. That by definition is a metaphorical pedestal. Either way, if a woman responds to game and follows these "push pull" rules then she isn't wife material for a good, honest man. Its for the types trying to turn a whore into a housewife.
SWIFTzTrigger not exactly, it is just natural for people to respond differently to others depending on their behaviour, everybody is judging others and I dont even argue with that anymore, hence girl will be more into you once she sees you are high value, you are confident with her and so on, that is just normal
And once you stop the act and become yourself then surely she loses interest because what you did to get her isn't you and therefore she isn't into the real you. Unless you want to keep up the charade.
SWIFTzTrigger I agree with you a lot. Thats also how I feel about the game and women nowadays. However i feel that telling things to women with body language is a strong tool and I can't blame them for finding ut sexy in a guy when u can give the message without using words.
The point is to become the guy that you are conveying.. After a couple months of going hardcore at this you will definitely experience deep identity or atleast deep behavioural changes if you are always making modifications and sticking to them. Its growth not an act.
But you are changing yourself to get women. Do you not see how that is pedestalising them? We should be teaching men the opposite, to not pedestalise them at all and to be the best they can be as men. Game is merely the illusion of that as you describe also, rather than actually becoming that for personal intrinsic validation and fulfillment. What if you do game and don't succeed with women anywhere near the extent you want to? Do you see how this is counter productive?
MrZManny17 the way I get a girl to invest is to ask her open ended questions. Instead of saying. Do you like it here, you could say something like what do you think about this place. For example , getting her to talk alot is how I get investment.
I had intimate job interview with a girl. I am interested in her now. We are coworkers but I work on fields and she works in office. I get to be around her very few times. Any tips to get her?
There's a difference between showing intent and being supplicating and desperate. I have no issues showing intent, I flirt, I touch, I tease, and I bring value to the interaction. You can't be afriad to lose the girl. Only way to internalise this is to make women a low priority in your life and have bigger goals
You’re giving power away because you essentially giving a woman permission to “okay, you don’t even have to try to get me interested in you. I’m already am.” And you’re giving HER the power the say if she’s interested in you or not while she knows you’re waiting for her response. That’s how I see it
Having evolved in Game, I’ve realised the truth behind Todd’s perspective. There is no direct or indirect. It is truly a means to an end. What matters is the frame and premise, and its expression is to be calibrated accordingly, in a manner that does not give away your value unnecessarily or turn you into a seller. A buyer frame is the best game.
He's talking about newbies. Besides that, yeah when you use something (IMHO) stupid like a canned opinion opener. You have to make it clear that you aren't there to befriend her. But make your intentions clear. But that's your own fault for using such a lame opener.
Hey I'm from Jamaica. Thank you for this information. I honestly think your one of, if not best in the 'GAME' currently. I admire how very detailed you are when presenting the information.
A lot of people seem to be a little confused... which isn't surprising because you've been taught otherwise for years. Let me clarify a couple things. 1. You DO need to establish a man to woman frame somehow. 2. Giving ONE compliment isn't the end of the world.... My point is that SHOWING OVERT INTEREST is not an attractive thing. It's one of many different ways to establish a "man to woman" frame, but far from the best one. If you're a beginner and afraid to compliment a girl, by all means, just "show intent" at first. If you're no longer scared of showing interest though, please start being a little more subtle and intelligent in your game!
Todd V Dating I really like the vid, I don't know if you're familiar with Evolution Daily videos, he seems to show a lot of intent and tells the girl she's cute in almost every interaction and I really feel like it works for him
How do I find the "soft spot", without feeling like it's wrong to be man to woman, what's a good mindset to go about it? And consequently, the words will follow.
Because I tend to go to the other side of the spectrum like "I don't like you" type of vibe, and obviously that's not right, in my experience that passive vibe that Todd gave in his example doesn't work for me, for me it's letting things on the girls hands, isn't that against their nature? I don't think that's Assertive one of the attractive qualities that I've learned on the Art of the game manifesto. It's not fear or anything like that, it's not knowing how to do it, and the right mindset to go about it, the balance/the smooth point, without having to compensate or feel like what your doing is wrong.
Exactly, if you show over interest in a woman she will naturally use that to her advantage and consider you a simp. Women like the chase just like us men do, don't make it so easy on them and you'll always keep their interest
10:16 This frame is HUGE! This is something that's helped me so fucking much and allowed me to express my attraction! Because when you get down to it it's true! It's not really about that one girl, game is about girls in general
God bless that todd quit at rsd and is bringing this kind of content. He'll revolutionise game, if he continues like that. Thumbs up. Wish you every success you wish for yourself because you deserved it.
Edit: Wait nevermind I actually saw the video rather than only guessing context from these contexts. Incredible job as always Todd Showing intent without being assertive and having doubts in yourself is what fucks you over. You can show intent (to most girls, some are desperate for attention and the lack thereof is how you attract them) yet you have to have a carelessness that if she isn't with you your life hasn't changed at all. Absolutely no desperation, act like you have options, push and pull, escalate
Hi Todd. Nice video and well made. I got your video recomended to me by a friend, and since our approaches to dating hot women are so fundamentally different I would like to comment to what you're saying: 02:50 I call complete BS on what you're saying here. Yes, there IS a way to come across as a completely needy and insecure guy who will put her on a pedestal. Of course, if you walk up to her seeking her validation, almost begging her to engage with you, then what you're saying is correct. The mistake you're making is that you can MOST definitely do such an approach in a very cool and self-assured manner. With a mindset of, "Hey, I thought you're absolutely stunning, and since I (your mindset should be all about you, AKA dominance) want to meet such women I wanted to say hi". You are saying that by approaching her this way you show one is completely overwhelmed, that this isn't normal for him, you haven't had girls in your life etc. This is aboslute nonsense! A guy who has the balls to approach women with full eye contact, a sly smile, and bluntly tells her she is hot and therefore HE (dominance) wants to meet her shows the exact opposite. Clearly, you have never seen a truly courageous man approach a stunning 10 with full intent. Personally speaking, I dated countless absolute beauties with such an exact approach. 04:31 Showing overt interest and bombarding a girl with compliments has nothing to do, I repeat, NOTHING to do with giving away all your power. Sure, I fully agree that most men who do this DO give away all their power, but that's not because of the compliments or showing intent. You're confusing the effect for the cause. You see, when guys give away their power and act all needy and desperate, it is because they inherently believe they are not good enough or unequal to beautiful women to begin with. From this mindset, if you start complimenting and such, then yes you come across as desperate. This wrong mindset is why men try to brag with their money, tattoo's, going to the gym, doing magic tricks, etc. However, a man who knows we are all fundamentally equal to each other, regardless of how beautiful a woman is, understands that he may still appreciate her beauty (because of his natural instincts) WITHOUT behaving like he's less to her. For example, in the same way that women are sometimes incredibly beautiful, men are incredibly strong. Would a woman lower her value if she compliments a man on his strength? Of course not. Only a woman who believes that she is of less worth than men would believe that. Again, it has nothing to do with showing intent or complimenting a woman (this is actually very sexy when done confidently, bluntly and shamelessly without waiting for a reaction, the latter of which is crucial) but everything to do with the mindset we are all raised with that in order to get girls we first need to be impressive or valuable to society. Saying that you give your power away by declaring interest is one of the biggest fallacies out there in the pick up world. I get so fucking tired of it. It's just absolute nonsense. Women are naturally more indirect due to their feminine mindset. They will confront less and are more agreeable. Men on the other hand are more direct. More testosterone = more muscle = more dominance = more direct. This is what women find sexy! This what they naturally feel attracted to?! To show them you will go after what you want (her) without beating around the bush or making a whole scene out of it, or feeling ashamed and waiting for a good response. It is what women naturally respond to because of through the dawn of time they have been attracted to the MOST confident, dominant males. And the most dominant males will not play games or beat around the bush. They simply go straight for what they want AKA tell her she's hot and he wants to get to know her better while flirting and quickly getting physical with her, and not worrying about what she or anyone else will think of him. The reason 99% of you out there believe this false premise is for the simple reason already stated: We all have been conditioned that just as men ourselves, without any achievements, money, clothing, etc, are not good enough for women. Hence, we should prove our worth first before we may go directly after what it is we want. In other words, we don't deserve beautiful girls before we have proven our value not to the girl, but to society. Out of this extremely covert belief do all these PUA's (and almost all other males) behave in the way they do. "Don't just tell her you like her!" With which they actually mean, "Don't just make your intentions clear before first having proven your worth!". To bring my point home, it's not only me who has seen DRAMATIC success with showing FULL intent right from the get-go with some of the most stunning women in the world. I have a good friend who adopted my exact mindset and he is taking new girls home every-single-weekend. And not just some drunk chick from a bar. I'm talking about models, intelligent and gorgeous women, etc. I'm not saying that ALWAYS being extremely direct is the way to go. The world is not black and white. Sometimes some mystery and such is very well placed. I'm just saying that your belief that showing intent is fundamentally wrong is complete BS and is absolutely NOT based in psychological science whatsoever. Finally... 06:05 Here you are making the mistake of thinking that all women think like you do. The fact that YOU see it as "as soon as she wants me it's no longer a win for me" doesn't mean that she thinks the same. Women are usually very happy with just ONE guy that she finds attractive. If he has done everything right and keeps on expressing his dominance and desire of seeing her again, she will be happy with that attention and she shouldn't feel any feelings of, "oh, now it's boring because I already won him over". That's again coming from a ridiculous and very confused mindset. There are many more things in your video that I believe are based on a completely wrong mindset, but I don't have the time to go into that all. I would, however, love to have a live (of course friendly) debate with you on this topic. Should you be interested, do let me know. And for everybody else reading this, upvote this comment so that Todd will read this and hopefully take on the challenge :)
exactly ! it's not about showing interest in the girl or not , it's a matter of how , if you do it with confidence, if you are direct ,if you are in your masculin energy , show her that you go after what you want , she will find it attractive .And again you're right ; no woman on earth will say "oh this guy i was interested in wants me now so i don't like him anymore" ,NO ! the more a guy is consistent in his 'pursuit' (in the right way of course) , the more his energy is coming toward us , the more we like him and even love him .
My personal opinion is that when the woman you dating can feel youre a high status man with plenty of options it really doesnt matter if you show her your intent or not. She will open her legs in first or second date max whatever you do and if she values you for what you really are, an alpha that is, she will jump with joy all over the place after some genuine compliments and some legit intent plus most probably that man will be the main subject to talk to her friends. Because is a high status guy that is. You know what her friends will say to her ? I will tell you " Oh, you are so lucky, we all want a sweet and great guy like him ". Thats all there is to it. For example, just imagine a very high status man, a business man or singer or a popular guy, compliment a woman .... Not only shell get flattered but shell also get WET almost instantly by him showing some intent. Thats a fact. And all that just because that man is of very high status or popular or very handsome and nothing else. Its all about dymanics imho, character and past experiences of the woman you speaking to but what all have in common ? They are women and deep inside they share the same female characteristics by nature. And what this is all about ? To find the strongest and best male they can. And if you are that kind of male for a woman, it doesnt matter if you say few more compliments than necessary, if you show a bit more intent than usual or if make it straightforward that you like her. She is sold and will be acting like a little girl whatever the case. So what is the best thing to do ? Stop caring to much about the GAME, what to say, how and why and shit like that and focus on YOURSELF. And when you become the best version of yourself you will see how easier things are in dating that in some cases you wont even have to say much ! Yes, it is THAT simple even if sounds like a dream come true.
Ithink this quote by you is saying the same thing Todd is - "And the most dominant males will not play games or beat around the bush. They simply go straight for what they want AKA tell her she's hot and he wants to get to know her better while flirting and quickly getting physical with her, and not worrying about what she or anyone else will think of him." Essentially, if you want to kiss her then just go ahead and kiss her, don't tell her "I want to kiss you", or ask her permission. But, to build sexual tension that will make her receptive you will want to "flirt" (as you say) and bring your 'game' (intrinsic masculinity) to bear. I think women's cerebral cortex is similar to men's, but I swear their limbic system is more akin to a cat's. Thus the common term 'pussy' is applicable.
Todd is a really good guy to teach this stuff. He is really analytical and has broken the game down into bite sized peices like nobody ever has before! Dude is the best!
Todd, you do a great job of getting viewers/students excited to go out and reach a new level of experience and confidence. I get pumped-up after watching your stuff to put it into action tonight or this weekend. Thank you for the rad material-
Make sure you have one nasal hair protruding from your left nostril. Always face magnetic north when discussing the past. Don't make the mistake of letting your right arm swing a couple inches farther than your left arm when walking toward a bakery. When she asks you a question imagine Gary Coleman riding a giant beaver before you answer.
@@EdwardiusMcAndriez 5y later and men are still to realize that the juice isn’t worth the squeeze. And you’re right, moneymaxxing is a better use of time.
I needed to hear messages like this and others that Todd has. Honestly I don’t love to take too much dating advice but I love to hear the things I was doing wrong. Now I’m much more conscious of the energy I put in and how much it looks like Im needy. I see the subconscious unspoken messages we communicate now rather than focus on what I’m saying. And it takes the pressure off of whet I’m saying now. Bc what I’m saying doesn’t even matter. If you are good looking, confident and have good body language the content of what you say really doesn’t matter much
This is so refreshing. I find it harder and harder to consume RSD's content...nowadays they look more like a marketing company. An endless stream of program releases, clickbaity video titles and thumbnails and memes. I think that all you need to be decent at game is to have a solid understanding of every concept in Blueprint Decoded which would make 80% of what you need to know plus 20% keep up with the current state of affairs in the dating and game market. It has been a long time since I have seen any original topic or angle on a subject on game. Almost everything is a repackaging of the same basic stuff which was discovered a decade ago.
This really hit home. From now on my attitude is gonna be I'm only "curious" until she proves to me I should be "interested". Your channel is the shit dude.
all you dating advisors can summarize most of your videos and all content to a quite short statement.... "don't appear so fuicking needy and desperate - show a minimum of self-esteem and dignity"
"What intent is, and the best way to show it" would be a better title for the video. Give examples of what works and what doesn't. Pretend the camera is the girl you're approaching. Don't confuse your students. "Why 'showing intent' is ruining your game" makes the student confused and frustrated. "Why showing intent the wrong way, is ruining your game"... would be much more helpful.
These rsd's are taught to act as if they have the answer, which they claim to have (with actresses who make out with them as "proof"), then present the sparse theory in an unclear way, so the customer keeps paying for more. Gigantic cult.
I can't believe how many people are showing intent (or not showing intent) in ways that are totally destroying their interactions with women. Here's "the truth" about intent... not in the sense that anyone is lying to you, but rather in the sense that a lot of pickup coaches are apparently incompetent and/or don't understand WHY certain things do, or do not, work. Hopefully this corrects a lot of your approach issues! For more "truth about pickup" check out toddwinnergame.com and www.toddvdating.com
Hey Todd, thanks for all the tips and good frames over the years. I'm curious. I've known this girl for about a year and a half that lives upstate from me in NY. I live in VA. We've chatted quite a bit and really like each other. Thing is she has an abusive, drunk boyfriend that she's stuck with and I haven't had the funds to help her get with me. Well, she's kind of airy and her phone messes up a lot. But anyways I called her about 1 month ago and she had deleted me off of facebook because I was messaging her at 5 am in the morning and it was just a dumb thing. I was showing up on her boyfriend's radar. The next time we talked a week later, finally able to get a hold of her. I told her that I felt a pain in losing her that I had a fear that I lost her for good. She even said that she's felt that way about me sometimes. Since then I've haven't been able to get a hold her called her a few times left a voicemail, left a text and then I just text Goodbye Kat, God Bless. We're both Christian. I've refrained from calling her or texting her because I want her to reach out to me but I wonder if she never got my calls or texts. Maybe her boyfriend had the phone and maybe she saw the text one day and thought I was just done with her for whatever reason. Is there an issue with showing too much desire and intent way later in a relationship/friendship? BTW, I imagined watching some video about intent last night and then you made this haha.
For the handshake that you mentioned. Would you not need to be shaking her hand with the same hand as hers. (Your left/her right) I didn't quite grasp the logistics of that. Also I liked the use of scenery in this video. Its a simple thing but the bench going way off into the background looked very picturesque. Great video all-round. Its fantastic to see you back on top!
Mark S you are suffering from Oneitus, Mark. These questions you're asking are where this girl is f'ing someone else, and won't make the effort to call you, text you, and especially come to see you or move closer. Help yourself by getting away from this mentality. We've all done it; and it's poison to our progress as men and our desire to improve. Break yourself of this idealized connection you've created with your imagination and look at it for what it is; her choosing someone else and not you. Stop being the second choice, the runner up, and make yourself the man you idealize. Love yourself better, and improve on game. Spin more plates. Google that phrase.
Sounds like a really weak frame. It seems like you're waiting for her. Despite what you want to happen in the future, the REALITY is that she has a boyfriend now she IS NOT willing to leave. You should be out meeting women who are available and want to be with you. You should meet girls that you don't need to "have funds" to help get with you. The other side of this is that she sounds (not to be overly judgmental) like a really low-value girl. She probably has low self-esteem to stick with an "abusive, drunk" boyfriend, so she probably lacks ambition and direction for her own life. And you said she was "airy" so all those things combined don't create the picture of someone your really want to work to establish a relationship with. You should focus on girls that have a sense of self-worth and won't put up with abusive drunks. If you try to "save" this girl from her situation you go into "provider" mode and become a father figure rather than a potential mate. She needs to get her own shit straight. You chasing after her as she is now (and being in a relationship) shows you as someone with low self-worth and low-status. All that aside, it sounds like there are some other parts of your life you need to cultivate as well. You shouldn't be spending money to meet a woman, she should have her own money to meet you if she wants to. However, if you're working and handling your finances properly, not have money shouldn't be an issue. There are so many opportunities out there now that money shouldn't be an obstacle to going where you want and doing what you want. You need to work on that aspect of your life, but still don't wait to try to have a big bank role to try to attract women, just do that for yourself, and find a woman that is on your level. If you set the example for living a good life and what having purpose, direction and motivation can do, maybe she'll see that and want to come on board (but not something you should wait or hope for). But you should only try to continue the relationship if she is able to follow your example and get her own stuff together and not just be a leach on your energy. I don't know if that's what Todd would say, but that's my two cents. Don't chase after needy women. Find success in your own life and seek women who have their own emotional and financial life together.
I know a lot of dating coaches that would disagree with a lot that you had to say here and that this information can prove harmful to relationships. But personally, I think you're doing a generous service to those struggling with women and regardless of how "toxic" as some people would deem you, I think you should keep pushing forward.
You guys are all trying to hard if you have to watch a video for advice on talking to women. You will be nervous at first, as most people are, but just try talking to girls you think are cute. Stop watching these videos and go live your life, that's how you will meet cool people.
-you're cute I wanted to meet you. I would regret this mightily. This sets the frame - you're this goddess. I'am this lowly guy. -Mia - this frame where I was constantly validating myself to her. She has all the power in this frame -I wasn't expecting you to call me. That's game. I'am doubling down my interest -Handshake could convey man to woman - inviting her out to dance as opposed to traditional meet you -As soon as there is no suspense for the girl where she knows she has you, it's not a win for her. She doesn't feel as validated . -A lot of guys - half hour conversation that goes nowhere -Your friend takes 2 girls home -The blonde friend jumped in, because of course she just cant let the other girl steal the show -A guy with no game gets laid in this situation(Max) -Guy is chilling. Not needy -She feels left out. -If you were my girlfriend you probably never see me. Doesn't show intent but gives her an opportunity to chase and visualize. Approach -Hey I love your style
If you show intent because you want to get her to sleep with you, you've lost frame. If you show intent because you felt attracted to her and you want to express yourself because that is who you are, and you are ready to walk away from her at any moment, you haven't lost anything. It is never about what you say, it's always about why you're saying it. Do not be invested in your interactions. The moment you start caring how this interaction will go is the moment you have begun bending yourself to please or seduce the woman. That is the same moment you become needy, and sooner or later the woman will understand that you really want this to go well for you and she is the prize which you are chasing. That is the end of your frame. if you never invest in your interactions with her, if you stop caring about whether she will like you or not, and merely express yourself honestly without bending who you are, how can you ever lose frame even if you tell her you want her? You tell her you want her because that is how you feel, not because you expect to be rewarded for it. You do not care about how she replies to that, that is her own issue, not yours. Ask yourself this: We all more or less have a pretty clear image of what an alpha is in our head. Put that alpha in this interaction. Which of the following do you think the alpha would do? 1) Not explicitly state his interests and try to find clever ways to get a single girl to sleep with him. 2) Explicitly declare exactly how he feels at each moment of his interaction regardless of what result this behaviour would get him from that single girl. Also ask yourself, which one sounds more attractive and high value? Which one conveys "I have options, you are just one more girl." - and which one conveys "damn I really hope you sleep with me I haven't touched a woman in months oh man what do I say next" ? You know fully well women pick up on these cues in your behaviour. This whole "game" is taught behaviours that mimic a high value individual. There are no mindgames, there are no techniques. There is only alpha mindset and value dynamics.
I love how Todd wants to devaluate her base attraction level for you. Like all is technique! And if she doesn't fall for you - it's a bad implementation of a technique! No guys, you know that people who you don't like for whatever reason can't do jack shit in order for you to like them. Not a single thing, even if being master manipulator, because if you're smart enough your intuition will tell you that something's off. Cannot fake genuiness and not all genuiness is welcome and that's normal. That said - show intent but not overpedestalize a women. You can tell her "you look fucking amazing" and it won't hurt you a bit if you behave like somebody who wants to fuck her with enough calibration (not groping her and being too thursty and shit). If she stays into convo with you, even with objections, she could be yours. "Not interested" in verbals and non verbals and you're out. Stop overcomplicating shit.
WTF? No. What you basically just said is that someone can't possibly say something that makes someone not like you and if someone likes you that you can't possibly say something that makes them not like you. That's obviously not correct.
The " Your a cute girl" opener works for me. Never failed to get numbers. Just smile as you do it and with confidence. Just learn how to follow up by being chill. But this video does have underlying insights on how those interactions should go, learned something today
It definitely doesn't have to be verbalized. If she is sitting on your lap it's implied that she is into you and you didn't push her onto the floor so you are into her.
aidanscovers that's funny you say that because I actually had a chick sit on my lap within the first few minutes of meeting her. She was getting a drink next to me at a crowded bar. I jokingly told her to sit on my lab because it would be more comfortable. She did.
DJ Yellowflash She came up alone to get a drink I talked can't remember how I opened her or if she opened me but I got her name and made some small talk. She squeezed in between me and another person as we continued to talk. I was squished and uncomfortable so I just told her to sit on my lap. She sat on my lap and we talked until she got her drink. I asked who she was with. She said "Some fucking guy" I joked "Did you meet him on tinder?" She said "Actually I did. I don't know anyone." (She had just moved here) I said "Well, now you know me. :)" She left and I engaged her later while she was looking at Snapchat on here phone. She asked me for my Snapchat but I told her I didn't use it so she asked for my number and texted me right then. She kinda signalled for me to leave patting me on the chest so I left and talked to other people. Eventually approaching her again as she looked like she was leaving. I wasn't able to pull but we did meet up the next day.
Funny, just came across this video, and there are many things I do that I didn't realized could be quantified! My favorite place of "picking up" has always been at these electronic trade shows, or these comic book conventions, because... quite frankly, you're surrounded with people who are scared to talk to these models, and just want nothing more than a "picture" with them. Sometimes I'll go up to them and just start with the basics and look for a way where I can twist their words and tease them and then eventually get a chuckle out of them. Then kind of tell them I gotta run and ask for their number... Been pretty successful at it, and a few times I'll hit a wall of the engagement ring...
I'm struggling to see how I should do this in a day game scenario(or just where it's not expected to socialize). Of course there are situational openers. However there are time's when I got nothing, my mind goes blank of a creative cool opener and the only thing that comes to mind is to lay the cards on the table and be direct with her, and speak my mind so she knows what's up. Great video though!
You don't have to be witty every time, no one is. You can just say hi my name is ... then you go straight into qualification, which if you have a hard time making qualifying questions on the spot memorize a few loaded ones you can use for a variety of situations that will exact as many words as possible from the girl and keep watch for IOIs and escalate accordingly
I encounter this little dilema sometimes when I don't have enough "Flow" and the best result for me has been to just not stress it TOO. If you're initial interaction is FIRE like you said, the girl may be already somewhat interested, and just giving her a moment to think while remaining COMPLETELY comfortable in your own skin will allow her to invest(MAX). Or if you're unstiffled you can just like stare at her until she speaks, you can make some funny observation of her apearance or the environment just to push past the moment of silence.
If you watch Todd video there are cases where he still do lay the card on the table, but through conversation he still established push-pull method. Where he is challenging the girl...that's my observation. Hard to be perfect all the time
aidanscovers what helps me is observation say what you see out in front of you in your mind and how you feel. Understand game is subcomunication ask question every now and then give your respond thru your face. I switch from real to fake the strongest game is the truth but indirect is also important
Dude, first time checking out one of your videos. Really awesome, this was really a problem for me. Have been 'gaming' seriously for like 3 years, but notice this REALLY holds me back. Going to try it out immediately, thanks so much.
Todd, you nailed it with this one...I have been thinking that I needed to qualify the girl and show intent, but as my game got better and my value is higher, I realized that I am not being congruent to myself. I am not even sure if I will get along with the chick, but I am opening her with "You are sexy, who are you?" or overly compliment lines that give so much power away. Then she goes home and think that I have a one-i-tis on her, when I am gaming other chicks and going on other dates...Then I text her and she doesn't really respond. Woman are such a magical creatures. It all depends how you train them, frame things, and maintain them... However, during night game, I think showing intent is pretty good for screening. This is probably mostly daygame situations
Dude i had women that i texted 6-7 times without responding that i ended up f ing anyways...they actually did respond and i persisted, then when i got with them, they putted up resistance, i kept persisting in a way like " were gonna have sex and thats it" with a very confident non needy frame and i got them.
Again, the devil is in the details. It's great to hear Todd points out the jump from level 0 to 1 but plenty of guys get stuck there for a long time. Great content as always.
Thanks a lot, Todd, you really really help me out a lot. Since i follow you my game improved very very much, big difference. Sending you love and respect from germany
When I was a kid I told a girl she was beautiful. She gave me her info and after a few minutes of talking I told her I love her. Couldn't let me go after that. Why can't things be that simple today
It is strange because every single one of those openers you said was "terrible openers" are the many openers I learned from your previous videos Todd. You were taking numbers and women home left and right with those exact openers.
The more i watch Todd, the more i realized how far beyond he was above any other RSD instructor at least in terms of teaching game. I never got so much clarity form any other instructor.
Hey Todd I remember in one of your older videos you talked about "the easiest way for a noobie to get laid" you were talking about sweetie game or how you phrased it "recovering sex addict game" can please explain how that old video can relate to this because in the type of style you talk about giving over the top compliments in a self amused way and showing intent of the open its some I've been playing around with and experimenting with would love your feed back on it. love the new content has helped me with my game
This is so spot on. Recently had an HB 9 attempt to pick me up but I expressed to much intent, and failed her shit tests no shocker she doesn’t call me back.
Tazz just dont be like "hi i would like havin s3x with you", even worst would be "lets pls have s3x, im needy", as he said, imply that you are a cool dude for whom s3x is pretty normal, you dont need to tell her that u like her look, just show her, even just spending time with her proves that you like her in a way, the s3x in the end will just happen, thats what girls like the most, when it "just happens"
so how do u get this mindset? you can just act like the cool dude who doesnt care about all the women, but srsly, whats it good for tryna be someone ur not, people will notice and yea this sucks so just do what u love. Follow ur dreams, have healthy habits like a proper diet, do some sports, have good friends, educate yourself and stop negative habits like smoking and drinking. Even stuff like being all the time in the internet etc. become the best version of yourself, value yourself and good women will just come into your life, some will leave but at this time you wont care anymore cuz u the men.
@@FlameBot yeah I'm not 22 years old with a roommate lol.. I'm either already out with the friend, or if I'm not out myself I'm in bed most likely.. I'd be pissed if a friend brought 2 drunk girls to my place at 3 am unless I was already out and awake myself
Your intent should just be: having fun and get to know some people. Of that intent, you can be honest and it doesn't give yourself a specific outcome depended on how others do. If you have an agenda which depends on what others do, you'll get manipulation.
This is so frustrating, honestly. I'm still at level 1 or whatever, I know that, but at this point I really just want to approach girls with whatever bullshit comes into my mind so I get comfortable around them, even if it's bullcrap like "Hey, I like you." I'm just gonna keep doing that, if that's alright. I'll wait on the manipulation-tactics until I'm a little wiser. Good video, I just utterly despise the "game".
I have kind of a way of looking at this that's helped me. He's right about not betraying the context you're in. If it's business, keep it business. If it's an emotional outing like a funeral or something... don't treat it as a social thing. So... when you're listening to tips, you really have to put them in the appropriate context first. If the context is not conducive to sex, your goal shouldn't be sex at that moment... so what should you be doing? You should be INVITING HER TO JOIN YOU IN A CONTEXT IN WHICH ROMANCE IS MORE APPROPRIATE! Now... the wording is important. You aren't "inviting her to be romantic". If you meet someone in a business meeting, and you invite a girl on a date, you have violated that context, so you won't get the girl to go out with you (because you demonstrated neediness, and a lack of social awareness). If you are in a business meeting, you invite her to either abandon the current context (I'm going to step outside for a breather. Care to join me?) or invite her to an APPROPRIATE BUT FLEXIBLE CONTEXT (I desperately need caffeine or I'm not going to make it through this work day. Let's grab a seat at Starbucks and finish up). See, you're still business, but Starbucks is a more flexible context. When at Starbucks, you can finish up what you're doing, AND get acquainted socially (to some extent) At Starbucks, you're still in a professional business context though, so, from there, you don't want to ask for a romantic context (like a dinner date). You should talk up a good lunch place and maybe invite her to join you the next day or something. When she joins you for lunch WITHOUT ANY BUSINESS CONTEXT, that's when you can start warming up towards a romantic context. Now, some people will look at this as a lot of investment in one lead, and that's exactly why it works. Every other guy she meets does not have the patience, and blurts out a date request at Starbucks while you are still (somewhat) there for business... or even sometimes they will ask her on a date as soon as the business meeting disperses. This is something I call "Context escalation". Just like physical escalation, you can't just go up to a random girl and start making out. You also can't take a girl you're making out with directly to your bedroom. It's your willingness to abide by the gradual escalation rule that shows her that you are socially aware, and not desperate.
So basically Mystery was right all along. Over the years I have met young coaches that said Mystery's theories didn't work. They were all saying that being authentic and direct does work. Several years laters when they grow, they all apply Mystery method. So funny. Now we see it again here with Todd.
To me, Todd is more reminiscent of Swinggcat. Mystery and Todd both understood the importance of actual technique / game, but IMO Mystery's entire approach revolved TOO MUCH around specific sequencing and structures to the point of being robotic. Swinggcat and Todd both place less emphasis on sequencing and more on understanding why certain behaviors are attractive on a fundamental level. In other words, Mystery had more of an approach of "Do this, do this, do this, say this. Cross checkpoint. Now do this, say this." With Todd it's more about understanding the concepts so completely that specific sequencing becomes less important.
I’ve got decent game, pretty much average I would say. Been with a few gals here and there. This is really some great advice coming from this video. Just do what you love and be confident. Girls will come. Don’t force anything and focus on yourself!!
As a girl, if a cute dude came up to me and just started a short conversation, he smiled it wasn’t awkward, he smiles and has eye contact. That’s like success right there.
When I am looking at what I am doing, listening to what Todd says, and consolidating it with past experience, I can see some of the flaws in how I am coming across. This is not just with women, but with people in general. This is how I know that it is valuable information. It doesn't make sense to throw away information that comes at no extra cost unless I have tested it and can see that it has no applicable value to what I am doing. Athlean-X is another example of a good quality TH-cam series, that exists in a pile of bullshit. I know that critical thinking is important if I want to move forward with my life socially, physically, mentally, spiritually, and economically.
This is by far the longest bench I have ever seen in my entire life
by far -.-
That's called a bed for multiple people
can u make it disappear?
David Copperfield And nobody else sat on it.
almost as long as my dick
Forrest Gump should have been sitting on that bench
that is one long ass bench lol
Keyboardbeatz hahaha right dude
I know right! Thought the same thing
Keyboardbeatz
Loool
This dude is the real deal
julle huu aww snap
If you ever feel insecure, always remember there is light at the end of the bench.
🤣🤣🤣
Sid Bednorz I’m not listening to this video, but how good is this comment section 😄
I have no effing clue what you mean and I have zero idea why you have hundreds of likes..
Oh... I listened to the video.. not watched it.. I get it now...
Lmao actually
Never ever chase. For many reasons. Hell don't even establish premise. Just automatically friendzone every woman you meet. It drives woman crazy. The funny part is I genuinely don't care, have my own life to live, I'm busy being successful and don't have time to date, and I don't sleep around. Don't be rude, just treat them like you would anyone else. I do this with really pretty girls that people are afraid to talk to, and I just treat them normally, they seem to go crazy. Never chase. Hell don't even care. Stop throwing yourself at woman and live your own life. It shows that you yourself don't need validation. Ironically this frame of mind will give you the most options.
StriderCX This is the truest comment in this comment section. Hell, even future has a line about this very approach. "Chase a check, never chase a bitch." Be yourself, and do you! Don't chase random strangers! Pick up artists don't tell you this cause they know it'll ruin their business. They're extremely vague with who to talk to and who not to. The truth is, many attractive women are constantly being chased by many other men, so, unless you look like an attractive celeb or are extremely rich, this technique or any technique for that matter, won't work. It definitely won't work if you're the average looking dude who tries this on a stranger. And let's be honest, that's probably the majority of you here. Believe me. I have experience. The best advice I can give, to add to StriderCX's comment is, focus on your own goals and let the women come to you. Don't chase! If the women come to you, then you work your game. THERE'S A BIG DIFFERENCE HERE MY DUDES!
Friendzoning a girl you find sexually attractive? Derp sounds like some mgtow shit
StriderCX as a female i’d really just move on to the next guy if he kept friendzoning me like that. If you like her and she shows interest, show it back.
Yup! You’re focused on your purpose. Sometimes weeks can go by and she’ll randomly reply to your story on Instagram or somethin when she sees you’re winnin
You have a limit though you've got a year before your high grown falls short because women lose interest in men faster than man lose interest in women especially since the average guy isn't going to be looking like a super model there's going to be guys better looking than you so I agree but I just think you should add in something like " after a while of friend zoning you can make your move if you're really into her" to be realistic you know
Better to be rejected than ending in the friend zone.
youre saying better to not get your time wasted by beating around the bush, right?
his advice has been tried n failed and is getting stale n exposed. I didn't have all the answers always but even I knew early on that looks n race matter. I have years of experience approaching women, making them laugh, getting numbers, watching other guys...but learning science too and careful reflection really nailed it and I'm alarmed how many clueless guys are on this. Most men/women find certain things in the opposite sex attractive, with LITTLE subjectivity. 1 source: Biologist Randy Thornhill (University of New Mexico) studying faces for 15 years. “Both men and women rated symmetrical members of the opposite sex as more attractive and in better health than their less symmetrical counterparts…” Men with higher degrees of symmetry enjoy more sexual partners “…because of the way that the sexual system in humans works, women are choosey.” Women pretend looks don’t matter but dismiss below average looking men regardless of personality, many studies confirm. Example: livescience study
“Women Becoming Obese At Faster Rates Than Men” 1 source: Huffpost AND somehow: Men rate 50% of women below average looking, women rate 80% of men below average looking. (1 Source: OKC stats). Studies show attractive people hired sooner, get promotions more quickly, and are paid more. 1 Source: Businessinsider
If personality can override looks/race: Why guys (including guys I know) who’ve never had the confidence to approach a girl, get treated like they’re confident/interesting (the Halo effect) get hit on and laid, even if they have modest anger or personality disorders, or are a criminal like Jeremy Meeks who had MANY random girls who saw his MUGSHOT offer to pay his bail to get “raped” by him, while ugly guys (some that I know) who have more confidence/character than all guys mentioned in this paragraph, get treated as invisible or as unconfident/uncool and are friendzoned? THEN many of them may get personality problems. There’s exceptions to every rule, especially if you’ve $ or status or the girl isn’t too outta your league etc. So rather than claim some minority of cases where “ugly” guys get “hot” girls, have an ugly guy go in person to young/fit girls of different races or make a profile & see what % of girls flirt, give their # & agree to date/kiss etc. Show the videos.
Girls will get the best they can get in the following areas, more/less in this order: handsome, tall, fit, wealthy, high status. THEN there’s some subjective, side factors like her preferred race/fashion/personality/beliefs etc. I’ll be uploading insightful/fun videos on this topic in time. Sub n stay tuned, trust me. Or watch this for now: What REALLY Attracts Women: CHANNEL faceandlms
There's no such thing as a friend zone. American nuclear family at it's peak the last century, you didn't hear about bobs wife going to spend the afternoon with her friend Hank. If you did, then bobs wife is fucking Hank.
better to be me keeping what i worked hard for.
@Lordeverfall100 What is a joke this video?
Faustin Gashakamba lol
Man, all these mindgames are a bit exhaustive.
And the fact that one needs to apply mindgames and that straightforwardness does not work, is really pathetic
I feel you brother, im getting pretty tired of it
Problem is being straightforward can be full of bias from previous experience. So basically straigtforward can be packed with shitty mindgames that you may not even realize. Like you go up to someone and just say what’s on your mind “hi you’re super beautiful I love you”. Yeah you were straightforward, but that was only for you. For her, it may sound weird. You have to think before you say things, unless you just wanna bet that randomness will work.
@@McDnyss almost as if there should be a standart template, a one size fits all...
Every set of social interactions is governed by certain rules. Learning how to operate within those parameters is not a ‘mindgame’ lmao. Part of game is in fact becoming the person who exhibits these behaviors ‘naturally.’
This discussion of ‘honesty’ and ‘ingenuousness’ in the beginning of relationships is mostly just a way to disarm naive girls and circumvent screening processes that you are insecure about failing. It essentially boils down to selfishness and resentment.
I’ve heard guys criticize ‘modern’ dating as ‘inauthentic’ for this reason, and they always fit the ‘nice guy’ template: really warped attitudes towards women covered up by some lip service to feminist ideals.
there is definitely a risk of showing too much intent but showing zero intent won't get you the girl. Definitely getting it right is the most important
Woo plus intent
Just be calibrated and escalate accordingly god damnit
@@nombrepronunciable7851What does that even mean? That's like just saying just behave like you're attractive.
"As soon as the girl knows she has you, then sleeping with you is no longer a win. Dating you is no longer a win. Returning your call and getting you on the phone is no longer a win...
When the girl is unsure, when the girl thinks your Higher Value and the girl thinks you have alot of options THEN in that situation it is a win for her...she's likely to follow up, she's likely to chase, and you're likely to get a MUCH better scenario."
Todd's very own quote here perfectly epitomizes WHY some men get the girl and other men do not.
Men, EXECUTE on this advice and you will start seeing MUCH better results immediately.
you nailed it
You are literally describing a guy, as soon as you show a man you are interested ONLY in him , he runs the other way because you are no longer a “challenge” men like playing games a lot.
Women are so dysfunctional. How ridiculous is it that a girl becomes less attracted to a man simply because she knows she can have him? That's soooo dumb. "I really like that watch, is it for sale?" "Yes." "Oh well I don't want it anymore..." wtf?! There is no such thing a healthy relationship with a woman. What women want isn't healthy. This world is never going to get better.
sweetness583 that’s sounds very specific to your life, don’t generalize. Maybe you are ugly and your ego is trying to blame women for not wanting to be with you. Is a possibility
Ceddy_is_ready I’ve seen it a lot of times.
Dating is so dead. Back in the old days it wasn't rocket science.
Cris Duta it sure is
Yeah it was
It because these whiney little mellinial dudes spent too much time on their phones...instead of actually talking to people.
Julie Morris I don’t think that’s what it is. Women have gotten incredibly picky and social media has inflated there ego
nah, dude. What is discussed here are 'tactics to get laid every night you try'; that's not something 'normal' people do. Most 'normal' people just go out and have a fun time, and if something happens, it happens. I'm mostly watching these videos as I basically missed the 'prime establishing phase' where you get used to showing interest in girls - having a gf from age 15 to 23; being 100% loyal to them; and then getting thrown out into a world where you basically, as Todd eloquently said, need to "tell women you have a dick".
You don't have to think about even a tenth of what he is saying; he is overanalyzing everything - and I'm sure he's aware of it; just so that people can pick up *some parts* of it.
Every girl that I've dated or been in a relationship with has told me later that they appreciated my directness. That by being forward, open, and honest, it showed them I knew what I wanted. And that air of confidence was what attracted them to me in the first place.
Todd its really good to see you smashing it since leaving RSD. Respect.
pdm13 he was part of RSD? And why did he leave?
WTF is RSD
TL;DR - You need to SHOW intent, not TELL intent. 😎
Great way of putting it!
Well said dude!
i was raised to communicate, not play games.
@@DavidLinn U still should go for like physical contact...
Have the balls man, you can do it
@@paulhk2727 didn't say i couldn't. i said i was raised to communicate. when you're interested tell her you'd like to go on a date and suggest a place. i was raised to date to find a permanent relationship, not to play to lay. there was a day when a man telling the woman his intentions and what his plans are in detail if she agreed to a date with him was a major turn on for her.
I just keep getting more confused the more of these i watch
Seriously... all I got out of this is that it's impossible to get western girls to stick with you long term so you should just go MGTOW. LOL
just approaching a woman and being any type of flirty in any location is a sign of intent.. I can't believe how fucking dumb some of you guys are not to realize the simplest shit.
Tino _1025 At least your showing an interest.
@@Bristecom go to asia lol but if ur not attracted to them ... fuck it
@@owenluo3244 Some Asians are cute/hot enough but I'm not sure if I'd want to have a half Asian child... I've also heard some horror stories with Asian women too as they are becoming more feminist also.
Honestly the less I care the better results I get, which is kind of sad
This is all so true. I could never bring myself to do the kinds of opens that Todd describes. MUCH more powerful is simple, calm confidence. Speaking SLOWLY. Paying attention. Dominant eye contact. Revealing a bit about yourself. Being able to handle some tension, such as when you can't immediately think of something to say, and staying in there. And I'm a shy nervous guy inside, it's just practice and getting more experience. It doesn't take a lot of flamboyant technique to convey confidence, because most women don't see it very often from guys.
God damn it i've been fucking up badly lol
Bishop89 #metoo
Clean slate today
#metoo
@mezzuna lol
Ranin Zadviylet you good bro! No need to rush just start with this and make sure your at least attracted to her. Also remember they are Han just like you with flaws!!! Just say fuck it if they reject you keep it moving.
I bet people are sitting on the other end of that bench in China.
Todds content always makes me moist. I love ACTUAL discussion of TECHNIQUE. Instead of beating around the bush with more of a concept than actual information.
aidanscovers I love techniques too. For a lot of newbies, technicality turns into practicality.
Wet af
Putting out all your cards on the table will kill your game. You always want to seem like you're just slightly out of the girl's reach. Sick vid Todd !
Brian Choi thats not true, u show value when u say what u mean, what u feel. U already thinking what u said is a sign of lack of true alignment or real confidence. The ideas u have about game are just bullshit
This is what Andrea says, but not what she would respond to.
Andrea Baiocchi I need an realignment
Unfortunatly for me...I go crazy in my mind if I dont put out every card at once on the table...since I want to cut corners so I can get to the fun stuff immediatly. That being me talking about the deeper stuff with the girl. However, I do come across as creepy being too intemidate and girls always seemt to loose their interest in me. All I want is a slutty fuckbuddy that doesnt want me for my money.
FALSE
If you approach a girl she will automatically think you want her. No need to show intent.
Agreed
In this day and age of these social media driven, narcissistic women...that statement is 1000% true!
If you are not approach the girl she will automatically think you shy insecure gay who have no balls to chase her. So she always win.
@@shadshads7933 I think his point was you dont need to verbally state your intent to the woman. The act of approaching is showing enough intent, no need to say "youre so beautiful" etc etc
Exactly
That's a very good point. I actually got myself so humiliated a few days ago for overtly showing an intent and giving all my power. The worst part is the girl wasnt event worth it, but I was blinded by how attracted I was to her and the fact that she danced with me. I totally ignored all the signs and I should've walked off once I realized she was way beneath me, but I was being a "nice guy" and didnt wanna de-validate her. Mistake #1 was that I didnt follow my instinct.
I have always wondered, if this many guys are so "bad" with women, what is it that women do to get guys? nothing? they just purely expect everything from guys? Then if thats the case how do women ever get bf's? and husbands?
I don't get it. Game seems to put the women on a pedestal to such an incredibly degree. Don't kid yourself and say "but it teaches men not to", everything about game is about getting women by definition you are spending you entire time studying how to acquire these "women" rather than more meaningful things and let her put an effort to get you too. That by definition is a metaphorical pedestal.
Either way, if a woman responds to game and follows these "push pull" rules then she isn't wife material for a good, honest man. Its for the types trying to turn a whore into a housewife.
SWIFTzTrigger not exactly, it is just natural for people to respond differently to others depending on their behaviour, everybody is judging others and I dont even argue with that anymore, hence girl will be more into you once she sees you are high value, you are confident with her and so on, that is just normal
And once you stop the act and become yourself then surely she loses interest because what you did to get her isn't you and therefore she isn't into the real you. Unless you want to keep up the charade.
SWIFTzTrigger I agree with you a lot. Thats also how I feel about the game and women nowadays. However i feel that telling things to women with body language is a strong tool and I can't blame them for finding ut sexy in a guy when u can give the message without using words.
The point is to become the guy that you are conveying..
After a couple months of going hardcore at this you will definitely experience deep identity or atleast deep behavioural changes if you are always making modifications and sticking to them.
Its growth not an act.
But you are changing yourself to get women. Do you not see how that is pedestalising them? We should be teaching men the opposite, to not pedestalise them at all and to be the best they can be as men. Game is merely the illusion of that as you describe also, rather than actually becoming that for personal intrinsic validation and fulfillment. What if you do game and don't succeed with women anywhere near the extent you want to? Do you see how this is counter productive?
Push pull
Imply you are fun sexual person
Look, gestures and touching for showing intent
Cocky frame
Be cool fun guy
Let her invest in you.
This guy fucks ^
Let her invest in you? In what form?
Dominic dominic aside from such? How do you get her to invest in you, time-wise, interest-wise? Nothing forced or begged.
MrZManny17 the way I get a girl to invest is to ask her open ended questions. Instead of saying. Do you like it here, you could say something like what do you think about this place. For example , getting her to talk alot is how I get investment.
hi. year 2007 called. they want mystery method back
That bench is a homeless person’s paradise 😂
I think a house would be their paradise.. but I see what u sayin
It's a mansion of a bench
That’s messed up they could be you one day LOL
A mansion
Found the person who’s never been homeless
I like intimate job interviews.
I had intimate job interview with a girl. I am interested in her now. We are coworkers but I work on fields and she works in office. I get to be around her very few times. Any tips to get her?
The only difference is you don't end up naked after the job interview.
Todd: *important dating advice that has potential to change your life
Comments: *B E N C H L O N G G Xd Xd Xd*
There's a difference between showing intent and being supplicating and desperate. I have no issues showing intent, I flirt, I touch, I tease, and I bring value to the interaction. You can't be afriad to lose the girl. Only way to internalise this is to make women a low priority in your life and have bigger goals
Direct intent does not give your power away, Todd, at any level. It sets the tone clearly and precisely so there is no room for confusion.
Polymath depends how you say it if it comes across as genuine its great if it comes as trying to get her to like you from her not optimal
You’re giving power away because you essentially giving a woman permission to “okay, you don’t even have to try to get me interested in you. I’m already am.” And you’re giving HER the power the say if she’s interested in you or not while she knows you’re waiting for her response. That’s how I see it
Having evolved in Game, I’ve realised the truth behind Todd’s perspective. There is no direct or indirect. It is truly a means to an end. What matters is the frame and premise, and its expression is to be calibrated accordingly, in a manner that does not give away your value unnecessarily or turn you into a seller. A buyer frame is the best game.
He's talking about newbies. Besides that, yeah when you use something (IMHO) stupid like a canned opinion opener. You have to make it clear that you aren't there to befriend her. But make your intentions clear. But that's your own fault for using such a lame opener.
@Jakazu True women make the choosing. Its primal asf.
Hey I'm from Jamaica. Thank you for this information. I honestly think your one of, if not best in the 'GAME' currently. I admire how very detailed you are when presenting the information.
A lot of people seem to be a little confused... which isn't surprising because you've been taught otherwise for years. Let me clarify a couple things. 1. You DO need to establish a man to woman frame somehow. 2. Giving ONE compliment isn't the end of the world.... My point is that SHOWING OVERT INTEREST is not an attractive thing. It's one of many different ways to establish a "man to woman" frame, but far from the best one. If you're a beginner and afraid to compliment a girl, by all means, just "show intent" at first. If you're no longer scared of showing interest though, please start being a little more subtle and intelligent in your game!
Todd V Dating I really like the vid, I don't know if you're familiar with Evolution Daily videos, he seems to show a lot of intent and tells the girl she's cute in almost every interaction and I really feel like it works for him
How do I find the "soft spot", without feeling like it's wrong to be man to woman, what's a good mindset to go about it? And consequently, the words will follow.
Because I tend to go to the other side of the spectrum like "I don't like you" type of vibe, and obviously that's not right, in my experience that passive vibe that Todd gave in his example doesn't work for me, for me it's letting things on the girls hands, isn't that against their nature? I don't think that's Assertive one of the attractive qualities that I've learned on the Art of the game manifesto. It's not fear or anything like that, it's not knowing how to do it, and the right mindset to go about it, the balance/the smooth point, without having to compensate or feel like what your doing is wrong.
Exactly, if you show over interest in a woman she will naturally use that to her advantage and consider you a simp. Women like the chase just like us men do, don't make it so easy on them and you'll always keep their interest
Todd my guy this is without a doubt one of the most alpha videos I've watched on TH-cam. Hands down. You're the man
10:16 This frame is HUGE! This is something that's helped me so fucking much and allowed me to express my attraction! Because when you get down to it it's true! It's not really about that one girl, game is about girls in general
So, short answer: show your intent indirectly 😉
Todd, this was legit a 10/10 video. The cinematography in your videos is also getting better and better.
God bless that todd quit at rsd and is bringing this kind of content. He'll revolutionise game, if he continues like that. Thumbs up. Wish you every success you wish for yourself because you deserved it.
Edit: Wait nevermind I actually saw the video rather than only guessing context from these contexts. Incredible job as always Todd
Showing intent without being assertive and having doubts in yourself is what fucks you over. You can show intent (to most girls, some are desperate for attention and the lack thereof is how you attract them) yet you have to have a carelessness that if she isn't with you your life hasn't changed at all. Absolutely no desperation, act like you have options, push and pull, escalate
This is unintentionally the best video on “opening” I’ve ever seen. Really puts premise into perspective. Thx Todd
Hi Todd. Nice video and well made. I got your video recomended to me by a friend, and since our approaches to dating hot women are so fundamentally different I would like to comment to what you're saying:
02:50 I call complete BS on what you're saying here. Yes, there IS a way to come across as a completely needy and insecure guy who will put her on a pedestal. Of course, if you walk up to her seeking her validation, almost begging her to engage with you, then what you're saying is correct. The mistake you're making is that you can MOST definitely do such an approach in a very cool and self-assured manner. With a mindset of, "Hey, I thought you're absolutely stunning, and since I (your mindset should be all about you, AKA dominance) want to meet such women I wanted to say hi". You are saying that by approaching her this way you show one is completely overwhelmed, that this isn't normal for him, you haven't had girls in your life etc. This is aboslute nonsense! A guy who has the balls to approach women with full eye contact, a sly smile, and bluntly tells her she is hot and therefore HE (dominance) wants to meet her shows the exact opposite.
Clearly, you have never seen a truly courageous man approach a stunning 10 with full intent. Personally speaking, I dated countless absolute beauties with such an exact approach.
04:31 Showing overt interest and bombarding a girl with compliments has nothing to do, I repeat, NOTHING to do with giving away all your power. Sure, I fully agree that most men who do this DO give away all their power, but that's not because of the compliments or showing intent. You're confusing the effect for the cause. You see, when guys give away their power and act all needy and desperate, it is because they inherently believe they are not good enough or unequal to beautiful women to begin with. From this mindset, if you start complimenting and such, then yes you come across as desperate. This wrong mindset is why men try to brag with their money, tattoo's, going to the gym, doing magic tricks, etc. However, a man who knows we are all fundamentally equal to each other, regardless of how beautiful a woman is, understands that he may still appreciate her beauty (because of his natural instincts) WITHOUT behaving like he's less to her. For example, in the same way that women are sometimes incredibly beautiful, men are incredibly strong. Would a woman lower her value if she compliments a man on his strength? Of course not. Only a woman who believes that she is of less worth than men would believe that.
Again, it has nothing to do with showing intent or complimenting a woman (this is actually very sexy when done confidently, bluntly and shamelessly without waiting for a reaction, the latter of which is crucial) but everything to do with the mindset we are all raised with that in order to get girls we first need to be impressive or valuable to society.
Saying that you give your power away by declaring interest is one of the biggest fallacies out there in the pick up world. I get so fucking tired of it. It's just absolute nonsense. Women are naturally more indirect due to their feminine mindset. They will confront less and are more agreeable. Men on the other hand are more direct. More testosterone = more muscle = more dominance = more direct. This is what women find sexy! This what they naturally feel attracted to?! To show them you will go after what you want (her) without beating around the bush or making a whole scene out of it, or feeling ashamed and waiting for a good response. It is what women naturally respond to because of through the dawn of time they have been attracted to the MOST confident, dominant males. And the most dominant males will not play games or beat around the bush. They simply go straight for what they want AKA tell her she's hot and he wants to get to know her better while flirting and quickly getting physical with her, and not worrying about what she or anyone else will think of him.
The reason 99% of you out there believe this false premise is for the simple reason already stated: We all have been conditioned that just as men ourselves, without any achievements, money, clothing, etc, are not good enough for women. Hence, we should prove our worth first before we may go directly after what it is we want. In other words, we don't deserve beautiful girls before we have proven our value not to the girl, but to society. Out of this extremely covert belief do all these PUA's (and almost all other males) behave in the way they do. "Don't just tell her you like her!" With which they actually mean, "Don't just make your intentions clear before first having proven your worth!".
To bring my point home, it's not only me who has seen DRAMATIC success with showing FULL intent right from the get-go with some of the most stunning women in the world. I have a good friend who adopted my exact mindset and he is taking new girls home every-single-weekend. And not just some drunk chick from a bar. I'm talking about models, intelligent and gorgeous women, etc.
I'm not saying that ALWAYS being extremely direct is the way to go. The world is not black and white. Sometimes some mystery and such is very well placed. I'm just saying that your belief that showing intent is fundamentally wrong is complete BS and is absolutely NOT based in psychological science whatsoever.
Finally...
06:05 Here you are making the mistake of thinking that all women think like you do. The fact that YOU see it as "as soon as she wants me it's no longer a win for me" doesn't mean that she thinks the same. Women are usually very happy with just ONE guy that she finds attractive. If he has done everything right and keeps on expressing his dominance and desire of seeing her again, she will be happy with that attention and she shouldn't feel any feelings of, "oh, now it's boring because I already won him over". That's again coming from a ridiculous and very confused mindset.
There are many more things in your video that I believe are based on a completely wrong mindset, but I don't have the time to go into that all. I would, however, love to have a live (of course friendly) debate with you on this topic. Should you be interested, do let me know. And for everybody else reading this, upvote this comment so that Todd will read this and hopefully take on the challenge :)
A lot of what you said aligns with The Manual - great book.
Exactly. Everything I teach is based on that book. Life changer!
exactly ! it's not about showing interest in the girl or not , it's a matter of how , if you do it with confidence, if you are direct ,if you are in your masculin energy , show her that you go after what you want , she will find it attractive .And again you're right ; no woman on earth will say "oh this guy i was interested in wants me now so i don't like him anymore" ,NO ! the more a guy is consistent in his 'pursuit' (in the right way of course) , the more his energy is coming toward us , the more we like him and even love him .
My personal opinion is that when the woman you dating can feel youre a high status man with plenty of options it really doesnt matter if you show her your intent or not. She will open her legs in first or second date max whatever you do and if she values you for what you really are, an alpha that is, she will jump with joy all over the place after some genuine compliments and some legit intent plus most probably that man will be the main subject to talk to her friends. Because is a high status guy that is.
You know what her friends will say to her ? I will tell you " Oh, you are so lucky, we all want a sweet and great guy like him ". Thats all there is to it.
For example, just imagine a very high status man, a business man or singer or a popular guy, compliment a woman .... Not only shell get flattered but shell also get WET almost instantly by him showing some intent. Thats a fact. And all that just because that man is of very high status or popular or very handsome and nothing else.
Its all about dymanics imho, character and past experiences of the woman you speaking to but what all have in common ? They are women and deep inside they share the same female characteristics by nature. And what this is all about ? To find the strongest and best male they can. And if you are that kind of male for a woman, it doesnt matter
if you say few more compliments than necessary, if you show a bit more intent than usual or if make it straightforward that you like her. She is sold and will be acting
like a little girl whatever the case.
So what is the best thing to do ? Stop caring to much about the GAME, what to say, how and why and shit like that and focus on YOURSELF. And when you become the best version of yourself you will see how easier things are in dating that in some cases you wont even have to say much ! Yes, it is THAT simple even if sounds like a dream come true.
Ithink this quote by you is saying the same thing Todd is - "And the most dominant males will not play games or beat around the bush. They simply go straight for what they want AKA tell her she's hot and he wants to get to know her better while flirting and quickly getting physical with her, and not worrying about what she or anyone else will think of him."
Essentially, if you want to kiss her then just go ahead and kiss her, don't tell her "I want to kiss you", or ask her permission. But, to build sexual tension that will make her receptive you will want to "flirt" (as you say) and bring your 'game' (intrinsic masculinity) to bear. I think women's cerebral cortex is similar to men's, but I swear their limbic system is more akin to a cat's. Thus the common term 'pussy' is applicable.
Todd is a really good guy to teach this stuff. He is really analytical and has broken the game down into bite sized peices like nobody ever has before! Dude is the best!
Todd, you do a great job of getting viewers/students excited to go out and reach a new level of experience and confidence. I get pumped-up after watching your stuff to put it into action tonight or this weekend. Thank you for the rad material-
Make sure you have one nasal hair protruding from your left nostril. Always face magnetic north when discussing the past. Don't make the mistake of letting your right arm swing a couple inches farther than your left arm when walking toward a bakery. When she asks you a question imagine Gary Coleman riding a giant beaver before you answer.
Hahaha this literally made my day. omg dating just didn't seem worth the effort with all these mind games.
@@potatoes1234 Dating is convoluted. Might as well put all that thought and effort into trying to get rich.
@@EdwardiusMcAndriez 5y later and men are still to realize that the juice isn’t worth the squeeze. And you’re right, moneymaxxing is a better use of time.
Complexity is the enemy of Execution.
Hm
Sucks to see these guys go separate ways but getting different perspectives is definitely a good thing. Thank you Todd and beat of luck to everyone.
Take everything an instructor says in their video with a pinch of salt. Try different things out. See what works for you and then stick with it!
I needed to hear messages like this and others that Todd has. Honestly I don’t love to take too much dating advice but I love to hear the things I was doing wrong. Now I’m much more conscious of the energy I put in and how much it looks like Im needy. I see the subconscious unspoken messages we communicate now rather than focus on what I’m saying. And it takes the pressure off of whet I’m saying now. Bc what I’m saying doesn’t even matter. If you are good looking, confident and have good body language the content of what you say really doesn’t matter much
My head blew up at some point in this video..
Too complicated.
This is so refreshing. I find it harder and harder to consume RSD's content...nowadays they look more like a marketing company. An endless stream of program releases, clickbaity video titles and thumbnails and memes. I think that all you need to be decent at game is to have a solid understanding of every concept in Blueprint Decoded which would make 80% of what you need to know plus 20% keep up with the current state of affairs in the dating and game market. It has been a long time since I have seen any original topic or angle on a subject on game. Almost everything is a repackaging of the same basic stuff which was discovered a decade ago.
I read the comments before I watched the video and holy shit! That's a long bench!
This really hit home. From now on my attitude is gonna be I'm only "curious" until she proves to me I should be "interested". Your channel is the shit dude.
all you dating advisors can summarize most of your videos and all content to a quite short statement.... "don't appear so fuicking needy and desperate - show a minimum of self-esteem and dignity"
Mike true. Don’t over pursue (being needy), don’t over validate (giving your value away).
"What intent is, and the best way to show it" would be a better title for the video. Give examples of what works and what doesn't. Pretend the camera is the girl you're approaching. Don't confuse your students. "Why 'showing intent' is ruining your game" makes the student confused and frustrated. "Why showing intent the wrong way, is ruining your game"... would be much more helpful.
I agree, these guys love making click bait titles that confuse guys with contradictory advice
I think this is a real solid critique and agree!
These rsd's are taught to act as if they have the answer, which they claim to have (with actresses who make out with them as "proof"), then present the sparse theory in an unclear way, so the customer keeps paying for more. Gigantic cult.
It's should be called "The Super Long Bench Video".
I've watched alot of his infield videos and uses intent openers all the time
“Showing intent, or not showing intent”
Yeah, that pretty much sums it up
this is true in all facets of life from business to relationships. masking intent makes it a lot harder to harpoon you
I can't believe how many people are showing intent (or not showing intent) in ways that are totally destroying their interactions with women. Here's "the truth" about intent... not in the sense that anyone is lying to you, but rather in the sense that a lot of pickup coaches are apparently incompetent and/or don't understand WHY certain things do, or do not, work. Hopefully this corrects a lot of your approach issues!
For more "truth about pickup" check out toddwinnergame.com and www.toddvdating.com
Hey Todd, thanks for all the tips and good frames over the years. I'm curious. I've known this girl for about a year and a half that lives upstate from me in NY. I live in VA. We've chatted quite a bit and really like each other. Thing is she has an abusive, drunk boyfriend that she's stuck with and I haven't had the funds to help her get with me. Well, she's kind of airy and her phone messes up a lot. But anyways I called her about 1 month ago and she had deleted me off of facebook because I was messaging her at 5 am in the morning and it was just a dumb thing. I was showing up on her boyfriend's radar. The next time we talked a week later, finally able to get a hold of her. I told her that I felt a pain in losing her that I had a fear that I lost her for good. She even said that she's felt that way about me sometimes. Since then I've haven't been able to get a hold her called her a few times left a voicemail, left a text and then I just text Goodbye Kat, God Bless. We're both Christian.
I've refrained from calling her or texting her because I want her to reach out to me but I wonder if she never got my calls or texts. Maybe her boyfriend had the phone and maybe she saw the text one day and thought I was just done with her for whatever reason.
Is there an issue with showing too much desire and intent way later in a relationship/friendship? BTW, I imagined watching some video about intent last night and then you made this haha.
For the handshake that you mentioned. Would you not need to be shaking her hand with the same hand as hers. (Your left/her right) I didn't quite grasp the logistics of that. Also I liked the use of scenery in this video. Its a simple thing but the bench going way off into the background looked very picturesque. Great video all-round. Its fantastic to see you back on top!
Todd, I have your product RSD Todd daygame and you were showing intent by saying "you are cute"and similar things...
Mark S you are suffering from Oneitus, Mark. These questions you're asking are where this girl is f'ing someone else, and won't make the effort to call you, text you, and especially come to see you or move closer. Help yourself by getting away from this mentality. We've all done it; and it's poison to our progress as men and our desire to improve. Break yourself of this idealized connection you've created with your imagination and look at it for what it is; her choosing someone else and not you. Stop being the second choice, the runner up, and make yourself the man you idealize. Love yourself better, and improve on game. Spin more plates. Google that phrase.
Sounds like a really weak frame. It seems like you're waiting for her. Despite what you want to happen in the future, the REALITY is that she has a boyfriend now she IS NOT willing to leave. You should be out meeting women who are available and want to be with you. You should meet girls that you don't need to "have funds" to help get with you.
The other side of this is that she sounds (not to be overly judgmental) like a really low-value girl. She probably has low self-esteem to stick with an "abusive, drunk" boyfriend, so she probably lacks ambition and direction for her own life. And you said she was "airy" so all those things combined don't create the picture of someone your really want to work to establish a relationship with. You should focus on girls that have a sense of self-worth and won't put up with abusive drunks. If you try to "save" this girl from her situation you go into "provider" mode and become a father figure rather than a potential mate. She needs to get her own shit straight. You chasing after her as she is now (and being in a relationship) shows you as someone with low self-worth and low-status.
All that aside, it sounds like there are some other parts of your life you need to cultivate as well. You shouldn't be spending money to meet a woman, she should have her own money to meet you if she wants to. However, if you're working and handling your finances properly, not have money shouldn't be an issue. There are so many opportunities out there now that money shouldn't be an obstacle to going where you want and doing what you want. You need to work on that aspect of your life, but still don't wait to try to have a big bank role to try to attract women, just do that for yourself, and find a woman that is on your level.
If you set the example for living a good life and what having purpose, direction and motivation can do, maybe she'll see that and want to come on board (but not something you should wait or hope for). But you should only try to continue the relationship if she is able to follow your example and get her own stuff together and not just be a leach on your energy.
I don't know if that's what Todd would say, but that's my two cents. Don't chase after needy women. Find success in your own life and seek women who have their own emotional and financial life together.
I know a lot of dating coaches that would disagree with a lot that you had to say here and that this information can prove harmful to relationships. But personally, I think you're doing a generous service to those struggling with women and regardless of how "toxic" as some people would deem you, I think you should keep pushing forward.
You guys are all trying to hard if you have to watch a video for advice on talking to women. You will be nervous at first, as most people are, but just try talking to girls you think are cute. Stop watching these videos and go live your life, that's how you will meet cool people.
M K facts
DAZ FAXX
If I followed that I’d still be blue pilled tho
Saying it without saying it, correct?
"...Establish a friend that's more useful to you." golden.
-you're cute I wanted to meet you. I would regret this mightily. This sets the frame - you're this goddess. I'am this lowly guy.
-Mia - this frame where I was constantly validating myself to her. She has all the power in this frame
-I wasn't expecting you to call me. That's game. I'am doubling down my interest
-Handshake could convey man to woman - inviting her out to dance as opposed to traditional meet you
-As soon as there is no suspense for the girl where she knows she has you, it's not a win for her. She doesn't feel as validated .
-A lot of guys - half hour conversation that goes nowhere
-Your friend takes 2 girls home
-The blonde friend jumped in, because of course she just cant let the other girl steal the show
-A guy with no game gets laid in this situation(Max)
-Guy is chilling. Not needy
-She feels left out.
-If you were my girlfriend you probably never see me. Doesn't show intent but gives her an opportunity to chase and visualize.
Approach
-Hey I love your style
If you show intent because you want to get her to sleep with you, you've lost frame.
If you show intent because you felt attracted to her and you want to express yourself because that is who you are, and you are ready to walk away from her at any moment, you haven't lost anything.
It is never about what you say, it's always about why you're saying it.
Do not be invested in your interactions. The moment you start caring how this interaction will go is the moment you have begun bending yourself to please or seduce the woman. That is the same moment you become needy, and sooner or later the woman will understand that you really want this to go well for you and she is the prize which you are chasing. That is the end of your frame.
if you never invest in your interactions with her, if you stop caring about whether she will like you or not, and merely express yourself honestly without bending who you are, how can you ever lose frame even if you tell her you want her? You tell her you want her because that is how you feel, not because you expect to be rewarded for it. You do not care about how she replies to that, that is her own issue, not yours.
Ask yourself this: We all more or less have a pretty clear image of what an alpha is in our head. Put that alpha in this interaction. Which of the following do you think the alpha would do?
1) Not explicitly state his interests and try to find clever ways to get a single girl to sleep with him.
2) Explicitly declare exactly how he feels at each moment of his interaction regardless of what result this behaviour would get him from that single girl.
Also ask yourself, which one sounds more attractive and high value? Which one conveys "I have options, you are just one more girl." - and which one conveys "damn I really hope you sleep with me I haven't touched a woman in months oh man what do I say next" ?
You know fully well women pick up on these cues in your behaviour. This whole "game" is taught behaviours that mimic a high value individual. There are no mindgames, there are no techniques. There is only alpha mindset and value dynamics.
can you show some infields of how to open without showing too much intent ?
Ronnie9P “I like the style you got... very classy. I’m kinda almost impressed. I hope your always this classy.”
Lame!
SUper high quality content! Noone talks about this stuff
Patrice O'Neal & Mode One > PUAs. You can verbally show intent without losing power.
I love how Todd wants to devaluate her base attraction level for you. Like all is technique! And if she doesn't fall for you - it's a bad implementation of a technique! No guys, you know that people who you don't like for whatever reason can't do jack shit in order for you to like them. Not a single thing, even if being master manipulator, because if you're smart enough your intuition will tell you that something's off. Cannot fake genuiness and not all genuiness is welcome and that's normal. That said - show intent but not overpedestalize a women. You can tell her "you look fucking amazing" and it won't hurt you a bit if you behave like somebody who wants to fuck her with enough calibration (not groping her and being too thursty and shit). If she stays into convo with you, even with objections, she could be yours. "Not interested" in verbals and non verbals and you're out. Stop overcomplicating shit.
WTF? No. What you basically just said is that someone can't possibly say something that makes someone not like you and if someone likes you that you can't possibly say something that makes them not like you. That's obviously not correct.
Women value game. Its like you dont have that much experience
The " Your a cute girl" opener works for me. Never failed to get numbers. Just smile as you do it and with confidence. Just learn how to follow up by being chill. But this video does have underlying insights on how those interactions should go, learned something today
What about conversation that seems completely platonic but there is physical escalation? Not a lot of man to women actually being verbalized.
It definitely doesn't have to be verbalized. If she is sitting on your lap it's implied that she is into you and you didn't push her onto the floor so you are into her.
kinda useful in scenario when you first met a woman imo.... but definitely including some light-teasing and push pull validation method still.
aidanscovers that's funny you say that because I actually had a chick sit on my lap within the first few minutes of meeting her. She was getting a drink next to me at a crowded bar. I jokingly told her to sit on my lab because it would be more comfortable. She did.
Holden Knutson please describe it in more detail sounds amazing for that kind of scenario
DJ Yellowflash She came up alone to get a drink I talked can't remember how I opened her or if she opened me but I got her name and made some small talk. She squeezed in between me and another person as we continued to talk. I was squished and uncomfortable so I just told her to sit on my lap. She sat on my lap and we talked until she got her drink. I asked who she was with. She said "Some fucking guy" I joked "Did you meet him on tinder?" She said "Actually I did. I don't know anyone." (She had just moved here) I said "Well, now you know me. :)" She left and I engaged her later while she was looking at Snapchat on here phone. She asked me for my Snapchat but I told her I didn't use it so she asked for my number and texted me right then. She kinda signalled for me to leave patting me on the chest so I left and talked to other people. Eventually approaching her again as she looked like she was leaving. I wasn't able to pull but we did meet up the next day.
Funny, just came across this video, and there are many things I do that I didn't realized could be quantified! My favorite place of "picking up" has always been at these electronic trade shows, or these comic book conventions, because... quite frankly, you're surrounded with people who are scared to talk to these models, and just want nothing more than a "picture" with them. Sometimes I'll go up to them and just start with the basics and look for a way where I can twist their words and tease them and then eventually get a chuckle out of them. Then kind of tell them I gotta run and ask for their number... Been pretty successful at it, and a few times I'll hit a wall of the engagement ring...
I'm struggling to see how I should do this in a day game scenario(or just where it's not expected to socialize). Of course there are situational openers. However there are time's when I got nothing, my mind goes blank of a creative cool opener and the only thing that comes to mind is to lay the cards on the table and be direct with her, and speak my mind so she knows what's up. Great video though!
You don't have to be witty every time, no one is. You can just say hi my name is ... then you go straight into qualification, which if you have a hard time making qualifying questions on the spot memorize a few loaded ones you can use for a variety of situations that will exact as many words as possible from the girl and keep watch for IOIs and escalate accordingly
I encounter this little dilema sometimes when I don't have enough "Flow" and the best result for me has been to just not stress it TOO. If you're initial interaction is FIRE like you said, the girl may be already somewhat interested, and just giving her a moment to think while remaining COMPLETELY comfortable in your own skin will allow her to invest(MAX). Or if you're unstiffled you can just like stare at her until she speaks, you can make some funny observation of her apearance or the environment just to push past the moment of silence.
If you watch Todd video there are cases where he still do lay the card on the table, but through conversation he still established push-pull method. Where he is challenging the girl...that's my observation. Hard to be perfect all the time
aidanscovers what helps me is observation say what you see out in front of you in your mind and how you feel. Understand game is subcomunication ask question every now and then give your respond thru your face. I switch from real to fake the strongest game is the truth but indirect is also important
And understand that indirect game is manly for 9s and 10s you can go direct below an 8
Dude, first time checking out one of your videos. Really awesome, this was really a problem for me. Have been 'gaming' seriously for like 3 years, but notice this REALLY holds me back. Going to try it out immediately, thanks so much.
One of your best videos Todd, and that's saying alot!!
Todd, you nailed it with this one...I have been thinking that I needed to qualify the girl and show intent, but as my game got better and my value is higher, I realized that I am not being congruent to myself. I am not even sure if I will get along with the chick, but I am opening her with "You are sexy, who are you?" or overly compliment lines that give so much power away. Then she goes home and think that I have a one-i-tis on her, when I am gaming other chicks and going on other dates...Then I text her and she doesn't really respond. Woman are such a magical creatures. It all depends how you train them, frame things, and maintain them...
However, during night game, I think showing intent is pretty good for screening.
This is probably mostly daygame situations
Dude i had women that i texted 6-7 times without responding that i ended up f ing anyways...they actually did respond and i persisted, then when i got with them, they putted up resistance, i kept persisting in a way like " were gonna have sex and thats it" with a very confident non needy frame and i got them.
Man, this stuff is exhausting.
same haha
Again, the devil is in the details. It's great to hear Todd points out the jump from level 0 to 1 but plenty of guys get stuck there for a long time. Great content as always.
That bench is the ultimate evolution form of a bench
Thanks a lot, Todd, you really really help me out a lot. Since i follow you my game improved very very much, big difference. Sending you love and respect from germany
You sir are a Legend
and that bench though
When I was a kid I told a girl she was beautiful. She gave me her info and after a few minutes of talking I told her I love her. Couldn't let me go after that. Why can't things be that simple today
It is strange because every single one of those openers you said was "terrible openers" are the many openers I learned from your previous videos Todd. You were taking numbers and women home left and right with those exact openers.
The more i watch Todd, the more i realized how far beyond he was above any other RSD instructor at least in terms of teaching game. I never got so much clarity form any other instructor.
Do you know rsd Max he is amazing
@@mathewhimself he was good, but he stopped teaching game.
I have a slightly longer bench.. which I delivered to my garden using my limo.
Hey Todd I remember in one of your older videos you talked about "the easiest way for a noobie to get laid" you were talking about sweetie game or how you phrased it "recovering sex addict game" can please explain how that old video can relate to this because in the type of style you talk about giving over the top compliments in a self amused way and showing intent of the open its some I've been playing around with and experimenting with would love your feed back on it. love the new content has helped me with my game
“putting your balls on the table” lol
This is so spot on. Recently had an HB 9 attempt to pick me up but I expressed to much intent, and failed her shit tests no shocker she doesn’t call me back.
at 10:12 theres plenty of quality content, he gets to the point
To much talking to few examples. Example of being at a friend's place with two woman's. Come on. A totally not daily situation
Tazz just dont be like "hi i would like havin s3x with you", even worst would be "lets pls have s3x, im needy", as he said, imply that you are a cool dude for whom s3x is pretty normal, you dont need to tell her that u like her look, just show her, even just spending time with her proves that you like her in a way, the s3x in the end will just happen, thats what girls like the most, when it "just happens"
so how do u get this mindset? you can just act like the cool dude who doesnt care about all the women, but srsly, whats it good for tryna be someone ur not, people will notice and yea this sucks so just do what u love. Follow ur dreams, have healthy habits like a proper diet, do some sports, have good friends, educate yourself and stop negative habits like smoking and drinking. Even stuff like being all the time in the internet etc. become the best version of yourself, value yourself and good women will just come into your life, some will leave but at this time you wont care anymore cuz u the men.
@@FlameBot yeah I'm not 22 years old with a roommate lol.. I'm either already out with the friend, or if I'm not out myself I'm in bed most likely.. I'd be pissed if a friend brought 2 drunk girls to my place at 3 am unless I was already out and awake myself
@@FlameBot and yeah I wouldn't ever be at a friend's place if he wasn't there.. that was a horrible example
Your intent should just be: having fun and get to know some people. Of that intent, you can be honest and it doesn't give yourself a specific outcome depended on how others do. If you have an agenda which depends on what others do, you'll get manipulation.
This is so frustrating, honestly.
I'm still at level 1 or whatever, I know that, but at this point I really just want to approach girls with whatever bullshit comes into my mind so I get comfortable around them, even if it's bullcrap like "Hey, I like you."
I'm just gonna keep doing that, if that's alright. I'll wait on the manipulation-tactics until I'm a little wiser.
Good video, I just utterly despise the "game".
I just walk up and say "what's your number" can we get together? It works from time to time
Looksmaxx, moneymaxx, and geomaxx. Game is a meme
I have kind of a way of looking at this that's helped me.
He's right about not betraying the context you're in. If it's business, keep it business. If it's an emotional outing like a funeral or something... don't treat it as a social thing.
So... when you're listening to tips, you really have to put them in the appropriate context first. If the context is not conducive to sex, your goal shouldn't be sex at that moment... so what should you be doing?
You should be INVITING HER TO JOIN YOU IN A CONTEXT IN WHICH ROMANCE IS MORE APPROPRIATE!
Now... the wording is important. You aren't "inviting her to be romantic".
If you meet someone in a business meeting, and you invite a girl on a date, you have violated that context, so you won't get the girl to go out with you (because you demonstrated neediness, and a lack of social awareness).
If you are in a business meeting, you invite her to either abandon the current context (I'm going to step outside for a breather. Care to join me?) or invite her to an APPROPRIATE BUT FLEXIBLE CONTEXT (I desperately need caffeine or I'm not going to make it through this work day. Let's grab a seat at Starbucks and finish up).
See, you're still business, but Starbucks is a more flexible context.
When at Starbucks, you can finish up what you're doing, AND get acquainted socially (to some extent)
At Starbucks, you're still in a professional business context though, so, from there, you don't want to ask for a romantic context (like a dinner date). You should talk up a good lunch place and maybe invite her to join you the next day or something.
When she joins you for lunch WITHOUT ANY BUSINESS CONTEXT, that's when you can start warming up towards a romantic context.
Now, some people will look at this as a lot of investment in one lead, and that's exactly why it works.
Every other guy she meets does not have the patience, and blurts out a date request at Starbucks while you are still (somewhat) there for business... or even sometimes they will ask her on a date as soon as the business meeting disperses.
This is something I call "Context escalation". Just like physical escalation, you can't just go up to a random girl and start making out. You also can't take a girl you're making out with directly to your bedroom.
It's your willingness to abide by the gradual escalation rule that shows her that you are socially aware, and not desperate.
So basically Mystery was right all along. Over the years I have met young coaches that said Mystery's theories didn't work. They were all saying that being authentic and direct does work. Several years laters when they grow, they all apply Mystery method. So funny. Now we see it again here with Todd.
To me, Todd is more reminiscent of Swinggcat. Mystery and Todd both understood the importance of actual technique / game, but IMO Mystery's entire approach revolved TOO MUCH around specific sequencing and structures to the point of being robotic. Swinggcat and Todd both place less emphasis on sequencing and more on understanding why certain behaviors are attractive on a fundamental level. In other words, Mystery had more of an approach of "Do this, do this, do this, say this. Cross checkpoint. Now do this, say this." With Todd it's more about understanding the concepts so completely that specific sequencing becomes less important.
I’ve got decent game, pretty much average I would say. Been with a few gals here and there. This is really some great advice coming from this video. Just do what you love and be confident. Girls will come. Don’t force anything and focus on yourself!!
Dude, don't you have an office or something to record that shit ?
Omg,finally i understand the concept.Step away Tyler,Todd is the new King!
That's a very long bench he's sitting on
As a girl, if a cute dude came up to me and just started a short conversation, he smiled it wasn’t awkward, he smiles and has eye contact. That’s like success right there.
"establish a frame"
Any other made up advice you'd like to share? I can invent terms with the best of them...
When I am looking at what I am doing, listening to what Todd says, and consolidating it with past experience, I can see some of the flaws in how I am coming across. This is not just with women, but with people in general. This is how I know that it is valuable information. It doesn't make sense to throw away information that comes at no extra cost unless I have tested it and can see that it has no applicable value to what I am doing. Athlean-X is another example of a good quality TH-cam series, that exists in a pile of bullshit. I know that critical thinking is important if I want to move forward with my life socially, physically, mentally, spiritually, and economically.
I like job interviews where there’s a woman, a camera, and a couch.
Lowell high school
The explanation of a man-to-woman handshake is great.
The "showing intent" problem comes from guys getting dating advice from women.
This channel has the most quality shit u will ever see Hands down. The chasing part hit home showing too much intent that the girl has the power.
Don't waste your time fellas. Mode One.
Mode One all the way.
Create the RIGHT frame.
Push and pull.
She has to chase you.
You are only interesting when She can WIN you.
Act from abundance.