No, you can’t let your past relationships take you down. As the saying goes, “Don’t look back, you’re not going that way.” You never know what’s around the corner, but I truly believe God is going to bring something really good your way.
@Slayer-7373 the relationship pain gets better brother, my ex left me while I was at work without saying a word. I came home to our apartment empty. Started drinking HARD over the last 2 and half years since that happened. One thing I learned was that drinking never made it better, only prolonged the pain. Everything is gonna be okay and you're gonna get through this shit, you're not alone.
Tell me about it man... the dreams are so messed up. First I'd usually have a mini panic attack as soon as I was starting to fall asleep, I would jolt up in a panic then lay back down and repeat and repeat until I'd lay there for hours having them mini panic attacks and eventually I'd manage to get mini sleeps in. I would get sleep paralysis multiple times trying to sleep during withdrawal, just lay there unable to move, half conscious half dreaming of spiders and snakes crawling all over me and feeling it like it was real, trying my hardest just to move, man very disturbing shit. I'd get very vivid real dreams of dying over and over again in so many different horrific ways and my whole family dying in horrific ways. Dreams so vivid and real that its almost like I know how it feels for my whole family to be dead. Sleeping was for most of the time impossible because I wouldn't be able to stop moving or get comfortable. If I stayed still, I wouldn't be able to breathe my chest felt so heavy so I could not stop moving. If I did stop moving, It felt like I was getting electrocuted my whole body would be buzzing of what I called "the buzz of hell". The buzz was so strong I'd literally hear it and feel it, sounded exactly like static electricity in my ears and going throughout my body. One of the worst most fucked up feelings I've ever felt. To me it was so bad that I couldn't comprehend how this feeling was even possible and I started thinking this must be some demonic force attacking me or something and I never really believed in all that type of stuff. If I did have a mini sleep for what was probably only 5-10 minutes of another vivid nightmare, I would wake up and my teeth would be clenching as hard as I could, whole bed soaked of sweat... whole body sweating so bad it would be like I just got out of the shower. Having to get up freezing in a pool of sweat unable to take my clothes off because they would be soaked and stuck onto me then to get back into the soaking wet bed lmao to only to know you have work in a couple hours and you feel so fucked, scatter brained, extreme anxiety, sweating, insomnia, irritable just absolutely miserable and all you want to do is sleep but you can't and it gets to the point you just don't sleep because you are literally scared of what will happen if you try to. Shit is no joke.
Did you watch slayers first withdrawal video? He said when he closed his eyes he would se grotesque things, horrific faces and horrors. Shadow people coming for him. You two have been thru some crazy stuff
This is wild as f8ck man wow, I can definitely relate tho. It felt as if I entered a house of horrors. Closing my eyes like you said and seeing the most horrific stuff, just pure hell. Demons, darkness. Let’s stay away from that poison mg friend ! 🙏🏻🙏🏻
WOW, Khuzzy!! That's intense!! I'm so sorry you went through that. I really hope you're doing better now. Much love and many prayers sent your way from NY. ❤
Yeah dude you describe it well. I would have the vivid insomnia panic attack dreams of dying and horrific demonic violence and then also be scared to sleep for fear of having a seizure. The hallucinations, sweating like a faucet, restlessness, anxiety, loss of appetite, shaking so much you can't even hold a glass of water, fried nervous system and reduced pain tolerance mixing with the cognitive dissonance of coming off the numb sickly euphoria of booze into visceral suffering knowing I have done this to myself but feeling like I had basically no control over my own actions, like I was possessed by my own permission. It is as though Satan is giving you a taste of what your place in hell will be like if you actually end up drinking yourself to death 💀
I appreciate this brother so much, I’m definitely still recovering. You can tell my face is bloated in this video, that’s my liver and pancreas having issues. I hope here soon I’ll be back to 100%. Once I am I need to hit the ground running. I have several things set in to place to help prevent me from relapsing which I’ll discuss in a future video, but at the end of the day it’s on me. Just like it is for all of us. I need to do it. Much love brother, take care 🙏🏻
Today makes my 7th day finally a week, I’ve been having weird dreams. I literally just woke up from a crazy nightmare and researched this. I’m glad I’m not alone, stay up brother! You got this we got this one day at a time. Stay blessed
Great to see you Slayer , I couldn't sleep at all for about 3 days during withdrawal even with benzos, it was awful. The dreams were on and off scary and vivid. It's great to see you back 5 days sober, your body and mind will be repairing, that's what I told myself with the dreams. take care man. Luke
Hey Luke it’s great to hear from you as well my friend, oh the dreams are awful. Demonic. I’ve seen house of horrors type stuff. Much love brother, take care yourself 🙏🏻
Hey Slayer, so glad to see you’re looking and sounding like yourself again. The dreams sound insane, even the ex gf one. I’ll say this, just my 2 cents, I wouldn’t focus too much on the significance of the dream meaning that you haven’t gotten over her or not. I’ve had same type of dream of an ex I haven’t seen or spoken to in over 18 years. People from our past tend to pop in our dreams or nightmares lol from time to time. Thank you for sharing the painting of your dog who has crossed the rainbow bridge. What a beautiful tribute. Dogs are truly special, all animals are. Stay strong my friend, you got this.
Hey micru, thanks so much as always. Also you’re 100% right. I will no longer let that situation hold me back, I will no longer let that be the “excuse” why I drink. We’ve all got this together. Also awe thanks micru, she was a great dog. Very missed. You know of the rainbow bridge which is awesome. Much love as always micru! Take care 🙏🏻
@@Slayer-7373best thing you can do is close the chapter to allow for all the wonderful new experiences. But continue to work on you first. Yeah the rainbow bridge has gotten me through a lot of heartache from all my pups who have passed. The experience of loving and receiving unconditional love back from 🐕 is a privilege. 💜
Thank you so much for this video. YES IVE HAD THESE DREAMS TOO! They are absolutely terrifying. They feel real, to the point that sometimes you begin to question the difference between being asleep and awake. I subscribed to your channel. Thank you again.
Thank you Harry!!!! Also trust me brother I know all too well. Horrifying doesn’t do it justice. The people who know, know. Thanks for the sub, I’m glad you’re on this journey with me. 🙏
Yes I know what you speak of, death, gore, decay, sexual immorality’s and more. Hell opened up to your mind…. Alcohol is deep, powerful stuff. Blows my mind that’s it’s legal and probably always will. Thanks for the comment my friend 🙏🏻
Yes me too one night I was convinced I was bleeding from my mouth, I could see it (in my head) awoke found my phone put the torch on nothing there. That's it I couldn't sleep for days 😢 scared of sleeping Terrible illness ,much love
Sending you positive vibes man. Great job showing that if you have a slip, truly you can try again. Rooting for you man. It's not easy but it's worth it.
Appreciate that brother, this channel is not only about this community but in a way my life journey. If I left that out it would have just been wrong. I have to show the ups and the downs. Much love, stay safe! 🖤
4 days sober. The last few nights have been terrible with the crazy/disturbing dreams. I woke up last night and was scared to back to sleep. Cant wait to get through this phase - just another part of the grip this toxin holds on us.
Congratulations on the 4 days my friend, trust me I know all too well. Just know you aren’t alone in these things. I will advice you if things get too out of hand please goto the hospital. They can give you benzos to take away a lot of withdrawal. But you’re so right, it’s just another hold that it has on us. When you’re deep in it there are so many Holds to be honest. A different reason to keep drinking every day. Keep going strong my friend, you have a community here. 🙏
Dude! Been there! The worst part of detox is the insomnia. It is torture. It's not like you are uppity and can't sleep; you are exhausted and your brain is incapable of falling asleep. It feels like you may never sleep again. it is terrifying. And when you finally fall asleep, it's a 5 minute nightmare and you are wide awake again for 24 hrs.
Brother check out my video titled “what alcohol withdrawal feels like, my experience” I go into detail about the insomnia. Unless someone has been through it they just don’t understand. I stayed up for four and a half days once, it felt like my mind left my body. I appreciate this comment my friend thank you!!! 🙏
Keep it up man, i got hospitalized due to how much i drank in such a short span of time. I felt the usual severe pain in the middle of the brain, sweats, vitamin deficiency, the whole works. Now i got meds for it now, slowly getting better day by day. This near death experience taught me to appreciate life and the people around me. It also helped me find God again, and through him I could only do this and admit that I was a alcoholic. I pray that you live a long life and to your family and friends as well.
Hey brother thank you, prayers to you as well my friend. I think my falls have helped me find god again as well, it’s like he was trying to get our attention and we just kept ignoring him. It’s a struggle every day, but doing the right thing feels so much better than living in darkness. I wish you nothing but the best my friend, keep me updated! 🙏🏻
Yeah man dreams are wild as hell. Some so bizarre it’s hard to describe. Why do we have these dreams? Is it something important for us? Or is our mind just in free for all mode and running wild? Who knows. So weird. Happy to hear you are improving. 🙏❤️
It will be unknown I suppose till the day we leave this world lol, what dreams are, what these figures people see are. It’s insane. Much love brother 🙏🏻
It’s like the dream region of our brain is flooded with electrical pulses. So it just creates anything from our most vivid imaginations. Strangely it amazes me at the possibilities of the human brain and makes me think that there is a dimension below the surface that it taps into.
Saw you went to hospital, you definitely have one up on me. Worst I ever got was calling 911 after a 4 day hardcore Vegas trip… I’ll share that since then , I started to see a psychiatrist for meds to help with come downs. I know after withdrawal starts to happen, heart rate goes up with crazy anxiety and only thing I could do was drink more and the cycle continued. I’m prescribed with propranolol and keep in my cabinet and will take now anytime I end up in another bind. It’s also known to prevent heart attacks and basically starts making me feel better in minutes. He also prescribed be gabapentin which helps me sleep and no anxiety wake ups mid night .
I know exactly what you speak of my friend. My doctors won’t even prescribe me anything that might be a little addictive which is understandable but also beyond frustrating. If I had a weeks long benzos I could come off this poison in a safe way, but no they won’t even do that for me brother. Please take care of yourself and I will try to do the same. 🙏🏻
@@Slayer-7373 dang, sorry to hear that man. It also could be the doctor and not understanding or caring… it took me a few different changes of doctors to finally found one who had my best interest in mind. Good luck to as well and don’t give up!
@@Slayer-7373 That's frustrating yes, but it's the best to just avoid anything that might make the problem worse in the long run. I had insomnia for weeks while detoxing and when I saw a doctor for that I told her I wouldn't accept anything with potential for misuse (not that she'd given benzos to a pill-popping tweaker anyway). She respected my wishes and found me alternatives that worked.
You look human again, it’s good to see. Next time you think about drinking, look back at what you looked like in that hospital bed and how awful you felt. Now imagine going back to that dark place compared to feeling ok. That’s what I do.
Right brother? In that video in the hospital you can tell the life had been sucked out of me. I can tell my face is still a bit bloated but that should come down. I don’t ever want to go back to that dark place again. Thanks so much brother, take care 🙏🏻
Glad you made it back. I've had weird dreams, but didn't have trouble sleeping because I was medicated. I was up for three days once during a withdrawal.
I feel you on the insomnia, crazy vivid dreams and micro naps bro. Specifically the dream where you wake up in your bed in your own room to something terrifying or demonic. Ive had that a few times during detox. One time I dreamt that I woke up in bed having a heart attack from the withdrawal and tried to get up to call for help but I couldnt control my body, fell on the floor and died, and could feel my spirit leaving my body. Then I woke up irl. I 100% thought it was real or that it was still happening for like 30 sec after I woke. I think a lot of it is sleep deprivation along with whatever dt symptoms. Stay strong bro im right there with you im coming off a one day slip up that has resulted in two nights no sleep.
That is wild !!! Woah…. I wonder if you actually had a NDE. I mean you never know, I’ve had probably the most insane dt’s and dreams just laying in my bed. Either awake or half asleep, that’s when things really start to get dark!!! We are in this together my friend, much love. Keep me updated on your journeys!!
@@Slayer-7373 Thank you good sir. Just found your channel. Subscribed. Yeah it's possible I seized up irl. I think it was probably just my paranoia and shame playing out. I was already scared I was gonna die before I had that dream, my blood pressure was insane. Much love and prayers to you man ♥️ Addiction is a vile condition but I believe we will overcome it. God Bless.
@@blde_grypr i appreciate the sub brother, prayers go back to you. We can do it, we want life not the other option. As long as we keep our guards up and check our boxes, there’s nothing we can’t do. 💯🙏🏻
Hey 👋!! That is amazing!!! Congratulations, if no one else has told you that is an absolute accomplishment. Keep going, don’t look back. Life is so much better without it. I wish you nothing but the best on your journey, please keep me updated!!! 🙏🏻
Five minutes ago might as well be yesterday...... yesterday a hundred years ago. We have no control of our past.... Sorry for the loss. Man I can relate... Remember one step at a time. Stay in the moment..... recognize when your thoughts go into the past.....say no to those thoughts. Distract yourself.....or say to yourself I have no time now for this. I will adress this later today. Just a little tid bit to try to help. Ruminating is a huge pain too. Take care.... Get some rest. Good food. Walking. Thanks Slayer. Again take care
Hey brother I can’t thank you enough man, I’m glad I have people like yourself on this channel. I’m also glad I’m not alone in the loss, I’m sorry for your loss as well brother. 🙏🏻 this disease comes with a price, many prices usually. Much love and take care.
Slayer I went on 7 full days 8 nights.. long story benzo w/d. Used for anxiety never abused. Been on it for 23yrs after 1st rehab in 2000ish? Yeah u use because you’re anxious. 24yrs later still on it. Almost died from a stroke in 2015.. went in for depression.. doc stopped all my meds. Anyway I know the “no sleep.” Drove into Houston alone during rush hour while withdrawing for iop. Just traumatic. I could have sued the doc having me go cold turkey. You aren’t alone Sending lots of ❤ & prayers.
It’s best to remember that you aren’t alone going through all of that stuff post-quitting. When you are by yourself going through that it is so easy to feel like you are going through something no one else has ever experienced. It’s comforting to remember that so many people have been through that shit when they come off the booze.
glad you are back and feeling better 🙂I really appreciate you Slayer!If you could share, I would like to know what happened, what was the trigger for your relapse ? its important to analyse it to be conscious, so that you can be better prepared and prevent another fall . Im sure you will get here also many strategies. I know how difficult is to manage emotions and the cravings sometimes, but there are things we can do in those moments to help us go through
Hey thanks so much Laura 🙏🏻🖤, I do plan on making an entire video titled “why I relapsed” or “why I think I relapsed” I’ve just been waiting to get back mostly on my feet again and I’m clear headed to analyze it like you said. Relapses are a super big deal for me nowadays so I will really need to goto the drawing board for this one, but deep down inside I think I know. Much love 🙏🏻
Bro, I keep writing and deleting and rewriting a huge response as I have been in the same position as you with the dreams and all that shit. Basically man, I feel you. I really do. Also still getting over a girl from 3 years ago. It sucks when things end hard but we gotta remain sober and remain in the now. My dude, keep going strong.
Still to this day I can't decipher whether my "dream" was in fact a dream or hallucinations. I saw crowds of people walking down the street outside my house carrying dead people on these huge 10 foot stretchers, I've seen the top hat man standing by my door, I've heard analog low fi music. I've seen demonic faces floating around outside my window. That was all in one night. It felt so real I just don't know if it was a vivid dream or not
@@frank-the-tank75 much love brother as always, we must remain strong. Take it one day at a time, help each other out. Let go of the past. Also brother I know these horrors you speak of, I’ve only dipped my toes into that world and it’s as demonic and evil as anything I’ve ever seen on this earth. Pure evil, pure gore and horrors. Faces being ripped open from their jaws when I close my eyes, it’s absolutely horrible!!! AND THIS DRUG IS LEGAL!! AND NORMALIZED. That’s not just be chance!!! 🙏🏻🙏🏻 take care lispendens, we are in a spiritual war my friend.
Yes it will give you some of the craziest dreams coming off of it. Thanks Becky, I wish you the best as well in your journeys it’s not easy. Keep me updated! 🙏🏻
I appreciate that man, you’ve been here pretty much since the beginning bro. Also yes exactly man, you feel like you’re getting over them then next thing you know you have a dream like that and all those feelings come rushing at you, all at once. But we will get through our trials bro. Hope all is well with you man. ✌🏻
Yes!!! I so relate i call them tremors 😢 I swear it was real its so desperately sad, 😢 OMG I AM SO IN TOUCH WITH THIS ,its so sad ❤ I used to hear voices (not in a weird way) But like there was people speaking by the door actually very believable which is so frigging crazy/scary the same time
I'm going through the insomnia/vivid dreams/nightmares at the moment. They're so scary that I'm trying to keep myself awake. I eventually nod off and back in the same dream. Some have been Erotic Nightmares, another where i was seeing peoples faces inside giant soap bubbles while i was bouncing on giant inflatables to get to them. This mornings dream came after i tried meditation for the first time. I suddenly went in quite a very scary violent dream being taunted and nearly puched by a gang of men. I immediately went back into the same dream a few moments later. I've had no sleep for 3 days and I'm at my wits end.
@@cjh0751 they are absolutely bizarre, vivid and usually scary. If need be brother go get a medical detox, it does wonders. You can sleep, most the withdrawals disappear. It’s amazing. I’ll never forget all the crazy dreams man. You’re not alone, be safe.
Hey Slayer!!! I don't have time to watch this right now, and I want to be able to give it my full attention and take my time responding. I'll likely be able to get it tomorrow!! But I hope you have a wonderful night and I hope you're feeling a little better!! Love from NY ❤
Yep these are the very worse dreams as they will come in as some other folks pointed out they will be tied to other physical areas like panic attacks, ect...
Hello Slayer, I also had vivid dreams when I stopped alcool that can be very interesting when you analys them, as if your brain (or may be God) is trying to tell you something… I am happy you have a dog like me, I’m sure he prefers to see me serene and sober !! and fresh for a nice walk :) Take care !!
Hey my friend! I honestly think it is from god or very powerful spirits. People call us crazy till they experience it themselves. Also yes!! I love my pups, glad you’re an animal lover too. You take care as well 🙏🏻
I got some freaky hallucinations once that gave me the chills. I thought I saw my dog under my bed sheets moving around but there was nothing there. Then I would be lying down looking at my blank phone screen and see him wagging his tail in the reflection but he was in the other room. So realistic. But overall the insomnia is the worst part. Tired and begging for some sleep but just laying there for hours until the sun came up. It’s cruel and unusual punishment worse than any physical torture.
Yes my friend I know what you speak of!! I always say the people who know, know. It really is cruel and unusual punishment, that is the absolute best way to put it. Thank you for the comments my friend !
As a middle aged person, just offering some advice. When your young a break up is horrible. But be patient to find the right person. Your young, you may have more terrible breakups. But eventually you will meet someone special, and you will be glad that the former relationships didn't work out
This is my day 2 and I had some crazy sleep paralysis last night. Slipping in and out of different dreams and hearing and seeing some odd things. Also part of the time knowing I'm dreaming, but can't wake myself up. Like a heavy blanket is weighing me down.
Yes brother I know exactly what you speak of!!! It’s not fun! Prayers going out to you my friend, please be safe. If it gets too overwhelming check yourself into a hospital!! It’s better to be safe than sorry. Keep going strong my friend! 🙏
@@Slayer-7373 knowing he’s been chasing me since I was 10yo makes me want to keep running screaming “Catch me if u can” Not taking me down nope Slay if u want a book recommendation the one that impacted me the most & I struggle with God it’s called “Battlefield of the mind” Joyce Meyer. It’s insane! Just take out God and replace it with something u identify with. Kept me sober
@@Slayer-7373Slay somebody in rehab back in the day suggested that book. She actually had it with her. I am anything but a thumper trust me. Maybe u tube it it’s crazy good
my dreams after a bender have reoccurring themes. animals biting my hands, and being in my apartment or a basement with trash and mess everywhere, where i try to walk through it and keep tripping. the worst are the weird demonic ones, that don't make any realistic sense at all, just terribly confusing. The nighttime confusion between the dream world and reality really is the worst. Glad i don't really get myself into this position anymore
Those dreams have meaning. If your having those its time to stop my friend. That is an end stage hint to you. You are still young yet luckily you still have time to fix this.
Upon getting sober, most of us would say that sleep is a serious challenge. One minute, you're so tired that you want to collapse. The next, you're so jumpy and agitated that the idea of sleep seems like a cruel joke. I realize that this video is a few months old, but it seems to me that you had reached a point of acceptance. Believe me, that shit is heroic. I know that's a tough thing to grasp when you're in the thick of it. You feel like the world is shitting all over you, and genuine support is hard to come by. But one thing I can say is that it DOES get better. That's a promise.
💯needed to hear that end part man, thank you brother. Also yes the sleep is something I wouldn’t wish on people lol, forget about it. I would pace for hours in my room or kitchen then I’d lay down and within a second I’d be jumping back out of bed again pacing. Crazyyyy
I have 2 lucid dreams that I can remember off the top of my head. There were many more, but these i can remember without effort. In the first one I actually wound up sleepwalking... in the dream, i was in my classroom at the school I work at. The student I was in schedule with went missing. First I was looking for him under tables, on closets, behind shelves, you name it. But as panic set in when i realized he wasn't anywhere obvious, I ran out of the classroom and began knocking on classroom doors within the building. A teacher opened the door, and told me he was right behind me. I picked him up and walked back to the classroom, and that's where the stream ends for me. I can remember nothing beyond that. WELL. as it turns out, i had actually been sleep walking. I walked out of my apartment, to my downstairs neighbor's door and knocked. She was the teacher in my dream. My cat, of course, got out and followed me. She pointed to my cat and told me that was my student and to go to bed. I picked up my cat and went back to my apt. I have no idea what i did when i got back in there. I'm curious as to whether i was walking around my apt. Looking through closets and under tables. I am absolutely astonished that I didn't get hurt or lose my cat. I started double locking my door at night. The next dream was totally lucid. In my dream i was piss drunk. It was the middle of the night and i was alone in my apartment. I was avoiding my friends and i knew they were all hanging out. Well in my dream, they just paraded into my apartment and were kind of bullying me into hanging out. They were like.. well when you're done being a loser, we'll be downstairs! Lol they are 100% nothing like that in real life. Well they all left in almost life a conga line straight out my door. When they left i wanted to get up to find a bottle. I was in bed attempting to sleep as all this happened. I look straight ahead and in my periphery, i see someone peeking at me from around the corner. I know that i don't know them and i feel threatened. I try to get up and i can't move. I'm afraid to look again bc i know that the person will be there. I look anyways and they walk across my hallway out of sight. It's a woman in a red dress and she looks miserable. I stay feeling panicked and i try to get up again. To lift my arms, to scream. I'm doing these things, but it's happening so slow. And my screams sound like a groan. I can hear that I'm actually. Groaning in real life. I can feel my arms raising slowly in real life. But it's like those times when you try to run in a dream, but your legs feel like they weigh 1000 lbs. I look up and the woman is running at me, screaming and i roll out if bed. Wake up entirely. I realize that I'm alone, but it takes a long time to recover from the shock and what feels like a lifetime before i started moving quickly again. So those are my stories. On another note, i feel you on your experience with your break up, Slayer. I had so many dreams after i broke up with my most important relationship years ago. I had so many sad dreams with them in it. Sometimes happy dreams with them in it. Every once in a while they will pop in. But i think now it's just a comparison point in my brain when it's trying to work something out. Point is, i understand how jarring it feels. I'm glad that you realize that your life is worth more than sitting in the what if's and regret. It's time for you to jump into the future you deserve!! I'm so glad you are in a group, and that you're so close with your family. I hope you have a great day!! And thanks for these interesting stories. I'm glad you're feeling better and that you didn't get the dt's this time around!! ❤😊❤😊
Hey Amanda! 🙏🏻 thank you so much for this comment. I can totally relate, they are absolutely wild and make very little sense. What you said about your friends coming in and talking shi* is actually really common, how strange right??? Why do so many of us hear our loved ones hating on us in those states?? I find it absolutely fascinating. Also the lady that you describe running at you, seems to be a common theme too. Usually a woman staring into your soul, then next thing you know it’s almost like she tries to take it!! Alcohol withdrawal, alcohol withdrawal dreams, delirium tremens I mean all of these things someone really has to experience in real life to understand how awful they are. I’m still recovering, in a lot of pain, out of it and it’s been days and days since my last drink. Just absolute poison, but you know this Amanda. Much love as always and thanks for sharing your stories 🙏🏻✌🏻
@Slayer-7373 of course! It feels good to share things like this, and I'm so glad that I can say that nightmares like this haven't really happened since i stopped drinking. And yes, they were terrifying. I think they both were just manifestations of my anxieties and the things I felt like I was failing at. I was such a bad friend for a long time, and at work, I felt like I wasn't giving my all because I was always so tired and drained by my lifestyle. I always did my best, but I just didn't have the same level of patience, energy, or focus that I do now. That's such interesting insight about both experiences in my dreams being so common! Again, I imagine it relates to how I was feeling about myself at the time, but I never would have imagined that many others experience the same. And the interpretation of the lady in the red dress? Spot on. That's exactly how it felt. Her presence felt almost demonic. That's what made it so scary. She was menacing. I often heard that when people experience sleep paralysis, they see menacing dark figures. I suffered from sleep paralysis as a kid. Probably because I often didn't completely reach deep sleep bc I was always on high alert. In those experiences, I saw dark figures. This was so jarring because she had a clear form. I hope you had a great day and that you enjoy your weekend, friend!! Big love 😊
I actually really like those dreams, I get lucid dreams very often. It probably happens because your brain is still making elevated levels of WAKE UP chemicals - it does that to counteract alcohol, which has GO SLEEP effects.
Yes exactly brother, the actual health breakdown of what’s going on inside of our baddies from drinking is fascinating in my opinion. I appreciate this comment my friend 🙏🏻
I turned around and realized alcohol stole 30 years of my life and my health please don’t let that happen to you praying for you alcohol is a thief it leaves nothing Don’t look back
Trust me that’s not crazy at all and I can totally relate. I always say the people who know, know. Its so bizarre/freaky. Thanks for your comment my friend 🙏
It absolutely is a demonic experience my friend and I’m not sure how anyone who has been through the experience could deny that. We must call on our lord Jesus for protection from these wine and “SPIRITS”. Thanks as always my friend.
@@Slayer-7373 the thought occurred to me while I was commenting to Bat Country just about hour ago, " if alcoholism is a curse, then delirium tremens is a demonic possession."
Have you tried using cannabis to help with the initial sleep difficulty? Not saying you should use it to cope all the time but it could help balance things out a bit for those first couple weeks.
I had a dream, I was awake but I wasn’t, I knew I was at home taking a nap I had never had one like this nor do I ever remember any. It was Sat afternoon a wk before my bro od. It was dark, yet I could see everything he was doing. The house had a lot of rooms, baby crying in one alone, I saw it all.. I was watching him I was above him floating around. I was in a d r u g house. It was the night before so Friday. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I believe I had a dream where it’s called astral projection. I am not lying to you it was the scariest dream I had ever had. I called my sister in law after asked her if he went out the night before. She told me yep & I told her I thought he had. Anyway just thought I’d share. That was real. I saw what he did. ❤
Been drinking now for almost a decade!! My drink of choice has always been southern comfort 100 proof 🤢. Super nasty stuff but it will get the job done as far as messing you up. Horrible for your insides I’m sure. Congratulations on the sober life my friend!!!! Keep going strong!! 💪
@@Slayer-7373 gotcha. I have been drinking 15+. And bro, in my younger days I LOVED soco. It was always my drank for a good amount of time lol. I liked drinking it straight and mixing it with grape soda. I havent had that stuff in a long time tho. Before I stopped drinking mine was bourbon and clear rum. Ohhh the memories on soco, they weren’t good memories either 😂😂 As I sit here and type this I have the smell of soco in my nose lol it has a very distinct smell.
@@Ghetto-toaster22 right?? You’re 100% right I can slightly taste it just from us talking about it. I use to mix it with Dr Pepper, then when I got real bad I just started drinking it from the bottle. What you just said about “bad memories” with it Is 100% true. Soco came with bad decisions and regret nearly every time I drank it which was every day at one time!! Me and my brother started out drinking burnettes vodka and then when that wasn’t doing the trick anymore is when we both switch to the soco. I don’t miss drinking that crap at all. It’s weird if I ever get a craving for alcohol nowadays it’s always beer, never anything other than beer but I know where that beer leads me to. Thanks for the comments my friend!!! 🙏
My dreams were usually nice in withdrawal then I’d wake up in my mess as if the DTs were tormenting me waking up in a flat filled with shit and evil and slowly coming to my senses of the reality of my situation then sometimes would not know where I was like when u wake up after fainting, I never knew where I was for half hour just terrified thinking I was in a strange house like sleep paralysis, have u ever watched the delirium tremens videos by bat country? On YT
What would you say was the creepiest thing you saw brother? Do you mind me asking? Also yes!!! I’ve chatted with bat country a couple times, I love his videos. Dude has been to hell and back, I can relate to some of what he’s seen. It’s demonic SH💩.
@@Slayer-7373 a black alien small with a huge head and Asian styled eyes pure black eyes, dancing to a clubland video I was romanising too earlier as if the DTs were saying “u think it’s cool to take ecstasy” either that or visioning my friends suicide jumping out of a hospital window with clubland music playing again like the DT was saying “u think this addiction is funny” also visited Virgin Mary covered in blood in my third eye but I’d say the visions of the alien was the worst at my window in the corner of my eyes, scared of being abducted, also visions of planes crashing, boats sinking, the Quran playing in my ears with prophet visions and visions of bin ladens right hand man staring into my soul in my vision, I’d get psychic visions when in DTs also where I’d feel the pain of people around the globe with story’s etc, but the black alien was by far the creepiest, visions of space and god. I’m making a video now u may like about the lies I told in alcoholism quite funny. ❤️
The 2nd worst was visioning dead friends I knew from AA scratching and burning in hell clubland music sad music playing as I witnessed there regret for not getting sober and the idea something was trying to take my soul to hell then visioning Jesus rejecting me was scary too, visions of the pain of people and how these demons had them, visions of people hanging, visions of my friends suicide and his regret.
@@Slayer-7373 the first was the black alien dancing to clubland a video I watched sober glamorising ecstasy as if the DTs were saying “u think it was a joke” also boats crashing in my vision like a dream but awake and capsizing, I have massive fear of the ocean, also planes crashing and also visions of religious figures mother Mary covered in blood, Jesus rejecting me, visions of hell and my soul going there, I’ve heard people in my flat and felt spirits, people behind doors, the local addicts planning to kill me scared of my own shadow.
@@Slayer-7373 furthermore I’ve just recorded a video because u inspired me to share a video on my experience with DTs it will be uploaded soon if uploader works ❤️🙏
2:34 am rite now I jumped up ⬆️ and it sounded like my tv 📺 was on full blast 💥 volume with voices like commercials or something I’m dead serious my anxiety is strong and heart was racing as I woke up ⬆️ this is normal correct? I didn’t drink at all today I got one day sober ‼️
And speaking of dreams, I had a dream coming off both thc and alcohol, and I was in a dark dark place, lit by fire. I remember seeing myself, but a more deranged and twisted version of myself. I punched him, and i remember his face contorted when it did.
I think its because you are catching up on rem sleep which you dont have when passing out with booze. Always terrible for me too, almost enough to keep the relapse going
Yt keeps eating my comments again, so I'm just going to say hang in there. I'm also dealing with insomnia right now, and it's just the worst. ❤ that dog ❤
I hate when it does that to peoples comments, I’m sorry ILAA. It’s done it to me several times over these last few months too. You’re not alone in your insomnia, last night was another really awful night of trying to sleep. Sometimes it feels pointless even trying. Also yes 🖤 she was a great dog and I miss her. Much love as always 🙏🏻
I messed up today slayer I’m extremely disappointed in myself I had 2 tall cans today ‼️I’m extremely extremely beating myself up 💯 my head was hurting so bad today honestly and I was craving more alcohol 🍺 but I denied 🙅♂️ myself but I’m still extremely disappointed in myself and I’m worried I’m just going to fail again tomorrow and drink 🍺 2 tall cans again tomorrow ‼️ I hate this shit dude I hate this addiction 💯 it’s straight destroying me fool 💯 had one ☝️ day sober and I fucked it up today I feel like I hate myself 💯
@@jacobgarner5593 it’s okay brotha it happens, you’ve got to remember you have the power man. When you say enough is enough is when it will end. It sounds like you need medical detox bro, i know that ain’t fun but it makes that first week SO much easier. It can get you on your feet and give you a real chance. Same as me man we’ve got to find our purpose. That will keep us sober. God bless bro, let me know what happens 🙏
@Slayer-7373 Hi Slayer, thanks for replying to me brother. I decided to have a few pints of cider on Saturday afternoon to calm my boredom. I found myself in my bedroom on Monday morning with horrible withdrawal and 3 empty 1 litre vodka bottles around my bed. I rang my dad and he said I'd gone for Sunday lunch at my brother's and passed out knocking my head onto his big floor standing speakers. They got me outside while my jeans pants were down round my ankles trying to get me into my dad's car. My dad got me home and put me to bed. I've been going through withdrawal and not sleeping for 3 nights. Been through the lucid nightmares. I've been tapering off the vodka and it's helping but I've had terrible lucid nightmares. It's getting better now it's Thursday. I also bought a £375 pound guitar cab from an Ebayer in Ipswich which I couldn't collect because I was incapable of driving to collect. I got a refund which is lucky. I just spoke to my dad to apologise and I'm going to speak to my brother later to apologise for my drunk behaviour at Sunday lunch. I need to make this the last time bro. It could've been much worse. Either dead or in jail. I need to start treating my addiction seriously. I hope you're ok brother. Your videos do help people. I'm hopefully going to get back to my addiction meetings in Sheffield. God bless.
I remember the night I quit drinking I had this dream that I was in my old work bathroom and this coworker who was actually a vendor for Pepsi at the time, I worked freight at a grocery store, he said to me with a loud voice, "so you quit huh" and I was taken aback because I quit my job at my home store, and I saw him lunge towards me, as I was lying on the restroom floor, then I woke up with the voice still resonating through my head.
![ค้าง (STILL) - GEMINI [ OFFICIAL MV ]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Ftxx3hk5vkU/mqdefault.jpg)
No, you can’t let your past relationships take you down. As the saying goes, “Don’t look back, you’re not going that way.” You never know what’s around the corner, but I truly believe God is going to bring something really good your way.
Absolutely grace, you’re spot on. No longer will I let that be the “excuse” for me to drink that poison. God bless 🙏🏻
Also thank you so much, that is really amazing of you to say.
@Slayer-7373 the relationship pain gets better brother, my ex left me while I was at work without saying a word. I came home to our apartment empty. Started drinking HARD over the last 2 and half years since that happened. One thing I learned was that drinking never made it better, only prolonged the pain. Everything is gonna be okay and you're gonna get through this shit, you're not alone.
@@jakethasnake3524 our stories sound very similar my friend, thank you 🙏🏻 for giving me hope.
AMEN!
Tell me about it man... the dreams are so messed up. First I'd usually have a mini panic attack as soon as I was starting to fall asleep, I would jolt up in a panic then lay back down and repeat and repeat until I'd lay there for hours having them mini panic attacks and eventually I'd manage to get mini sleeps in. I would get sleep paralysis multiple times trying to sleep during withdrawal, just lay there unable to move, half conscious half dreaming of spiders and snakes crawling all over me and feeling it like it was real, trying my hardest just to move, man very disturbing shit. I'd get very vivid real dreams of dying over and over again in so many different horrific ways and my whole family dying in horrific ways. Dreams so vivid and real that its almost like I know how it feels for my whole family to be dead. Sleeping was for most of the time impossible because I wouldn't be able to stop moving or get comfortable. If I stayed still, I wouldn't be able to breathe my chest felt so heavy so I could not stop moving. If I did stop moving, It felt like I was getting electrocuted my whole body would be buzzing of what I called "the buzz of hell". The buzz was so strong I'd literally hear it and feel it, sounded exactly like static electricity in my ears and going throughout my body. One of the worst most fucked up feelings I've ever felt. To me it was so bad that I couldn't comprehend how this feeling was even possible and I started thinking this must be some demonic force attacking me or something and I never really believed in all that type of stuff. If I did have a mini sleep for what was probably only 5-10 minutes of another vivid nightmare, I would wake up and my teeth would be clenching as hard as I could, whole bed soaked of sweat... whole body sweating so bad it would be like I just got out of the shower. Having to get up freezing in a pool of sweat unable to take my clothes off because they would be soaked and stuck onto me then to get back into the soaking wet bed lmao to only to know you have work in a couple hours and you feel so fucked, scatter brained, extreme anxiety, sweating, insomnia, irritable just absolutely miserable and all you want to do is sleep but you can't and it gets to the point you just don't sleep because you are literally scared of what will happen if you try to. Shit is no joke.
Did you watch slayers first withdrawal video? He said when he closed his eyes he would se grotesque things, horrific faces and horrors. Shadow people coming for him. You two have been thru some crazy stuff
@@jeff67788 Yeah man. It's pretty scary what the brain can do during withdraw
This is wild as f8ck man wow, I can definitely relate tho. It felt as if I entered a house of horrors. Closing my eyes like you said and seeing the most horrific stuff, just pure hell. Demons, darkness. Let’s stay away from that poison mg friend ! 🙏🏻🙏🏻
WOW, Khuzzy!! That's intense!! I'm so sorry you went through that. I really hope you're doing better now. Much love and many prayers sent your way from NY. ❤
Yeah dude you describe it well. I would have the vivid insomnia panic attack dreams of dying and horrific demonic violence and then also be scared to sleep for fear of having a seizure. The hallucinations, sweating like a faucet, restlessness, anxiety, loss of appetite, shaking so much you can't even hold a glass of water, fried nervous system and reduced pain tolerance mixing with the cognitive dissonance of coming off the numb sickly euphoria of booze into visceral suffering knowing I have done this to myself but feeling like I had basically no control over my own actions, like I was possessed by my own permission.
It is as though Satan is giving you a taste of what your place in hell will be like if you actually end up drinking yourself to death 💀
glad you are back on track bro . we all care for you . remember you are loved
I appreciate this brother so much, I’m definitely still recovering. You can tell my face is bloated in this video, that’s my liver and pancreas having issues. I hope here soon I’ll be back to 100%. Once I am I need to hit the ground running. I have several things set in to place to help prevent me from relapsing which I’ll discuss in a future video, but at the end of the day it’s on me. Just like it is for all of us. I need to do it. Much love brother, take care 🙏🏻
This. ❤
Hey Slayer, so glad to see you back and so proud that you’re picking yourself up and going forward. Praying for you brother.
I appreciate this more than you know brother, thank you. Glad to be back and moving forward past that mistake! 🙏🏻
Today makes my 7th day finally a week, I’ve been having weird dreams. I literally just woke up from a crazy nightmare and researched this. I’m glad I’m not alone, stay up brother! You got this we got this one day at a time. Stay blessed
The dreams and nightmares are just insane man. Nothing to play around with lol
I was doing the same. The dream was insane 🫣
Great to see you Slayer , I couldn't sleep at all for about 3 days during withdrawal even with benzos, it was awful. The dreams were on and off scary and vivid. It's great to see you back 5 days sober, your body and mind will be repairing, that's what I told myself with the dreams. take care man. Luke
Hey Luke it’s great to hear from you as well my friend, oh the dreams are awful. Demonic. I’ve seen house of horrors type stuff. Much love brother, take care yourself 🙏🏻
Record any time … those nights feel like an eternity
Hey Slayer, so glad to see you’re looking and sounding like yourself again. The dreams sound insane, even the ex gf one. I’ll say this, just my 2 cents, I wouldn’t focus too much on the significance of the dream meaning that you haven’t gotten over her or not. I’ve had same type of dream of an ex I haven’t seen or spoken to in over 18 years. People from our past tend to pop in our dreams or nightmares lol from time to time. Thank you for sharing the painting of your dog who has crossed the rainbow bridge. What a beautiful tribute. Dogs are truly special, all animals are. Stay strong my friend, you got this.
Hey micru, thanks so much as always. Also you’re 100% right. I will no longer let that situation hold me back, I will no longer let that be the “excuse” why I drink. We’ve all got this together. Also awe thanks micru, she was a great dog. Very missed. You know of the rainbow bridge which is awesome. Much love as always micru! Take care 🙏🏻
@@Slayer-7373best thing you can do is close the chapter to allow for all the wonderful new experiences. But continue to work on you first. Yeah the rainbow bridge has gotten me through a lot of heartache from all my pups who have passed. The experience of loving and receiving unconditional love back from 🐕 is a privilege. 💜
@@Micru866 you are right, it’s time. Much love as always micru 🙏🏻🖤. I’ll keep you guys updated as much as I can.
Slayer I've experienced this exactly. It can be terrifying. Man ty for your honesty and vids.
Hey man thank you as well, I’m glad we aren’t alone in these crazy experiences! 🙏🏻 much love.
Keep going Slayer! We are behind you and I’m glad you’re better today!
This is what I told him! We are all backing him in this.
I will trust me 💪, comments like yours have really pulled me through these dark times. I can’t really thank you enough 🙏🏻. Much love!
Thank you so much for this video. YES IVE HAD THESE DREAMS TOO! They are absolutely terrifying. They feel real, to the point that sometimes you begin to question the difference between being asleep and awake.
I subscribed to your channel. Thank you again.
Thank you Harry!!!! Also trust me brother I know all too well. Horrifying doesn’t do it justice. The people who know, know.
Thanks for the sub, I’m glad you’re on this journey with me. 🙏
@@johnjoe3386 yes!
Just got off work and I see this. You look so much better. Keep going strong slayer love you man
Jeff much love as always brother!!! Thank you!!!! 🙏🏻
Nightmares! Man I had some of the worst... terrorism, abduction, murder.. just awful awful stuff.
Yes I know what you speak of, death, gore, decay, sexual immorality’s and more. Hell opened up to your mind…. Alcohol is deep, powerful stuff. Blows my mind that’s it’s legal and probably always will.
Thanks for the comment my friend 🙏🏻
Yes me too one night I was convinced I was bleeding from my mouth, I could see it (in my head) awoke found my phone put the torch on nothing there.
That's it I couldn't sleep for days 😢 scared of sleeping
Terrible illness ,much love
@@seg6629 I’m sorry you had to go through that seg :(. It’s awful I know.
Slayer good to see you, glade you are feeling a bit better.
Hey 👋 :) thank you so much.
Sending you positive vibes man. Great job showing that if you have a slip, truly you can try again. Rooting for you man. It's not easy but it's worth it.
Appreciate that brother, this channel is not only about this community but in a way my life journey. If I left that out it would have just been wrong. I have to show the ups and the downs. Much love, stay safe! 🖤
@@Slayer-7373 Great point brother! You got this!
4 days sober. The last few nights have been terrible with the crazy/disturbing dreams. I woke up last night and was scared to back to sleep. Cant wait to get through this phase - just another part of the grip this toxin holds on us.
Congratulations on the 4 days my friend, trust me I know all too well. Just know you aren’t alone in these things. I will advice you if things get too out of hand please goto the hospital. They can give you benzos to take away a lot of withdrawal.
But you’re so right, it’s just another hold that it has on us. When you’re deep in it there are so many Holds to be honest. A different reason to keep drinking every day.
Keep going strong my friend, you have a community here. 🙏
Dude! Been there! The worst part of detox is the insomnia. It is torture. It's not like you are uppity and can't sleep; you are exhausted and your brain is incapable of falling asleep. It feels like you may never sleep again. it is terrifying. And when you finally fall asleep, it's a 5 minute nightmare and you are wide awake again for 24 hrs.
Brother check out my video titled “what alcohol withdrawal feels like, my experience” I go into detail about the insomnia. Unless someone has been through it they just don’t understand. I stayed up for four and a half days once, it felt like my mind left my body. I appreciate this comment my friend thank you!!! 🙏
So true. And when you close your eyes you just see flashing lights and figures. It’s worse than any physical torture.
I needed a six-pack to put me down after six days.
Nice video. Good to hear you’re feeling a bit better.
Thanks popcorn, it’s always good to hear from you my friend 🙏🏻
Yep my brother could do that all the time … he controlled his dreams, lucid everything u said.
It was like my dream watching my brother.
Keep it up man, i got hospitalized due to how much i drank in such a short span of time. I felt the usual severe pain in the middle of the brain, sweats, vitamin deficiency, the whole works. Now i got meds for it now, slowly getting better day by day. This near death experience taught me to appreciate life and the people around me. It also helped me find God again, and through him I could only do this and admit that I was a alcoholic. I pray that you live a long life and to your family and friends as well.
Hey brother thank you, prayers to you as well my friend. I think my falls have helped me find god again as well, it’s like he was trying to get our attention and we just kept ignoring him. It’s a struggle every day, but doing the right thing feels so much better than living in darkness. I wish you nothing but the best my friend, keep me updated! 🙏🏻
Yeah man dreams are wild as hell. Some so bizarre it’s hard to describe. Why do we have these dreams? Is it something important for us? Or is our mind just in free for all mode and running wild? Who knows. So weird. Happy to hear you are improving. 🙏❤️
It will be unknown I suppose till the day we leave this world lol, what dreams are, what these figures people see are. It’s insane. Much love brother 🙏🏻
It’s like the dream region of our brain is flooded with electrical pulses. So it just creates anything from our most vivid imaginations. Strangely it amazes me at the possibilities of the human brain and makes me think that there is a dimension below the surface that it taps into.
Saw you went to hospital, you definitely have one up on me. Worst I ever got was calling 911 after a 4 day hardcore Vegas trip… I’ll share that since then , I started to see a psychiatrist for meds to help with come downs. I know after withdrawal starts to happen, heart rate goes up with crazy anxiety and only thing I could do was drink more and the cycle continued. I’m prescribed with propranolol and keep in my cabinet and will take now anytime I end up in another bind. It’s also known to prevent heart attacks and basically starts making me feel better in minutes. He also prescribed be gabapentin which helps me sleep and no anxiety wake ups mid night .
I know exactly what you speak of my friend. My doctors won’t even prescribe me anything that might be a little addictive which is understandable but also beyond frustrating. If I had a weeks long benzos I could come off this poison in a safe way, but no they won’t even do that for me brother. Please take care of yourself and I will try to do the same. 🙏🏻
@@Slayer-7373 dang, sorry to hear that man. It also could be the doctor and not understanding or caring… it took me a few different changes of doctors to finally found one who had my best interest in mind. Good luck to as well and don’t give up!
@@Slayer-7373 That's frustrating yes, but it's the best to just avoid anything that might make the problem worse in the long run. I had insomnia for weeks while detoxing and when I saw a doctor for that I told her I wouldn't accept anything with potential for misuse (not that she'd given benzos to a pill-popping tweaker anyway). She respected my wishes and found me alternatives that worked.
You look human again, it’s good to see. Next time you think about drinking, look back at what you looked like in that hospital bed and how awful you felt. Now imagine going back to that dark place compared to feeling ok. That’s what I do.
Right brother? In that video in the hospital you can tell the life had been sucked out of me. I can tell my face is still a bit bloated but that should come down. I don’t ever want to go back to that dark place again.
Thanks so much brother, take care 🙏🏻
Glad you made it back. I've had weird dreams, but didn't have trouble sleeping because I was medicated. I was up for three days once during a withdrawal.
I am too brother, thanks as always shades. Hope all is well with you my friend 🙏🏻
so happy to hear about your recovery, I too have dealt with demonic dreams, and they are not fun at all. stay strong God bless
Hey thanks brother 🙏 they definitely are not fun whatsoever! God bless you as well my friend.
I feel you on the insomnia, crazy vivid dreams and micro naps bro. Specifically the dream where you wake up in your bed in your own room to something terrifying or demonic. Ive had that a few times during detox. One time I dreamt that I woke up in bed having a heart attack from the withdrawal and tried to get up to call for help but I couldnt control my body, fell on the floor and died, and could feel my spirit leaving my body. Then I woke up irl. I 100% thought it was real or that it was still happening for like 30 sec after I woke. I think a lot of it is sleep deprivation along with whatever dt symptoms.
Stay strong bro im right there with you im coming off a one day slip up that has resulted in two nights no sleep.
That is wild !!! Woah…. I wonder if you actually had a NDE. I mean you never know, I’ve had probably the most insane dt’s and dreams just laying in my bed. Either awake or half asleep, that’s when things really start to get dark!!!
We are in this together my friend, much love. Keep me updated on your journeys!!
@@Slayer-7373 Thank you good sir. Just found your channel. Subscribed.
Yeah it's possible I seized up irl. I think it was probably just my paranoia and shame playing out. I was already scared I was gonna die before I had that dream, my blood pressure was insane.
Much love and prayers to you man ♥️
Addiction is a vile condition but I believe we will overcome it.
God Bless.
@@blde_grypr i appreciate the sub brother, prayers go back to you. We can do it, we want life not the other option. As long as we keep our guards up and check our boxes, there’s nothing we can’t do. 💯🙏🏻
I hate those dreams where I repeatedly fall down like I’m on a floor covered with oil.
Hey, I’m sober too, been 2 weeks since I relapsed, sober life is so much better
Hey 👋!! That is amazing!!! Congratulations, if no one else has told you that is an absolute accomplishment. Keep going, don’t look back. Life is so much better without it. I wish you nothing but the best on your journey, please keep me updated!!! 🙏🏻
Five minutes ago might as well be yesterday...... yesterday a hundred years ago. We have no control of our past.... Sorry for the loss. Man I can relate... Remember one step at a time. Stay in the moment..... recognize when your thoughts go into the past.....say no to those thoughts. Distract yourself.....or say to yourself I have no time now for this. I will adress this later today. Just a little tid bit to try to help. Ruminating is a huge pain too. Take care.... Get some rest. Good food. Walking. Thanks Slayer. Again take care
Hey brother I can’t thank you enough man, I’m glad I have people like yourself on this channel. I’m also glad I’m not alone in the loss, I’m sorry for your loss as well brother. 🙏🏻 this disease comes with a price, many prices usually. Much love and take care.
Slayer I went on 7 full days 8 nights.. long story benzo w/d. Used for anxiety never abused. Been on it for 23yrs after 1st rehab in 2000ish? Yeah u use because you’re anxious.
24yrs later still on it.
Almost died from a stroke in 2015.. went in for depression.. doc stopped all my meds.
Anyway I know the “no sleep.”
Drove into Houston alone during rush hour while withdrawing for iop.
Just traumatic.
I could have sued the doc having me go cold turkey.
You aren’t alone
Sending lots of ❤ & prayers.
Much love Kristen as always 🙏🏻
It’s best to remember that you aren’t alone going through all of that stuff post-quitting. When you are by yourself going through that it is so easy to feel like you are going through something no one else has ever experienced. It’s comforting to remember that so many people have been through that shit when they come off the booze.
Absolutely brother, very good point. That’s part of why I make these videos 🙏
@@Slayer-7373 and it’s great that you do. Keep going my mate.
Lol. I always have sleep paralysis the few times I went through withdrawal.. ugh the fatigue is horrible
Omfg it’s the worst!!! I’m glad we aren’t alone in these experiences my friend. 🙏🏻
Love the painting of your dog.
Gorgeous
Loved that little painting of your dog at the end.
Hey thanks brother, I really miss her. She was a good dog, my entire family loved her. They really become part of our family. Rip 😓🙏🏻
glad you are back and feeling better 🙂I really appreciate you Slayer!If you could share, I would like to know what happened, what was the trigger for your relapse ? its important to analyse it to be conscious, so that you can be better prepared and prevent another fall . Im sure you will get here also many strategies. I know how difficult is to manage emotions and the cravings sometimes, but there are things we can do in those moments to help us go through
Hey thanks so much Laura 🙏🏻🖤, I do plan on making an entire video titled “why I relapsed” or “why I think I relapsed” I’ve just been waiting to get back mostly on my feet again and I’m clear headed to analyze it like you said. Relapses are a super big deal for me nowadays so I will really need to goto the drawing board for this one, but deep down inside I think I know. Much love 🙏🏻
Ld is awesome. Your both awesome!
🖤🙏🏻that’s awesome of you to say!
Bro, I keep writing and deleting and rewriting a huge response as I have been in the same position as you with the dreams and all that shit. Basically man, I feel you. I really do. Also still getting over a girl from 3 years ago. It sucks when things end hard but we gotta remain sober and remain in the now. My dude, keep going strong.
Still to this day I can't decipher whether my "dream" was in fact a dream or hallucinations. I saw crowds of people walking down the street outside my house carrying dead people on these huge 10 foot stretchers, I've seen the top hat man standing by my door, I've heard analog low fi music. I've seen demonic faces floating around outside my window. That was all in one night. It felt so real I just don't know if it was a vivid dream or not
@@frank-the-tank75 much love brother as always, we must remain strong. Take it one day at a time, help each other out. Let go of the past.
Also brother I know these horrors you speak of, I’ve only dipped my toes into that world and it’s as demonic and evil as anything I’ve ever seen on this earth. Pure evil, pure gore and horrors. Faces being ripped open from their jaws when I close my eyes, it’s absolutely horrible!!! AND THIS DRUG IS LEGAL!! AND NORMALIZED. That’s not just be chance!!! 🙏🏻🙏🏻 take care lispendens, we are in a spiritual war my friend.
I’m trying to stop and didn’t know about the sleep thing. Makes sense now. Couldn’t figure it out. How dumb
Good for you and keep trying
Yes it will give you some of the craziest dreams coming off of it.
Thanks Becky, I wish you the best as well in your journeys it’s not easy. Keep me updated! 🙏🏻
Great to see ya cleaned up buddy, I hate the dreams. Especially about my ex cuz u wake up feeling like it's a fresh wound again.
I appreciate that man, you’ve been here pretty much since the beginning bro. Also yes exactly man, you feel like you’re getting over them then next thing you know you have a dream like that and all those feelings come rushing at you, all at once. But we will get through our trials bro. Hope all is well with you man. ✌🏻
Yes!!!
I so relate i call them tremors 😢
I swear it was real its so desperately sad, 😢
OMG I AM SO IN TOUCH WITH THIS ,its so sad
❤
I used to hear voices (not in a weird way)
But like there was people speaking by the door actually very believable which is so frigging crazy/scary the same time
🖤🙏🏻 I totally understand trust me. Very sad :(, also I don’t think it’s weird. I know what you speak of it’s super scary!!
I'm going through the insomnia/vivid dreams/nightmares at the moment. They're so scary that I'm trying to keep myself awake. I eventually nod off and back in the same dream. Some have been Erotic Nightmares, another where i was seeing peoples faces inside giant soap bubbles while i was bouncing on giant inflatables to get to them. This mornings dream came after i tried meditation for the first time. I suddenly went in quite a very scary violent dream being taunted and nearly puched by a gang of men. I immediately went back into the same dream a few moments later. I've had no sleep for 3 days and I'm at my wits end.
@@cjh0751 they are absolutely bizarre, vivid and usually scary. If need be brother go get a medical detox, it does wonders. You can sleep, most the withdrawals disappear. It’s amazing. I’ll never forget all the crazy dreams man. You’re not alone, be safe.
We love you bro!!!!!!!!!!!
Do the steps
Get or talk to a sponsor
Love you as well my friend!!
Hey Slayer!!! I don't have time to watch this right now, and I want to be able to give it my full attention and take my time responding. I'll likely be able to get it tomorrow!! But I hope you have a wonderful night and I hope you're feeling a little better!! Love from NY ❤
No worries at all Amanda!! Get what you’ve gotta get done, done. Much love 🖤🙏🏻
Yep these are the very worse dreams as they will come in as some other folks pointed out they will be tied to other physical areas like panic attacks, ect...
They absolutely are 😓 I wish anyone luck out there going through it.
Love the “scrambled eggs” comment. Haha. Nah. You’re just a regular fella dealing with some problems. You can do it though.
🤣pretty accurate though right? Thanks as always brother, hope all is well with you. 🙏🏻
Hello Slayer, I also had vivid dreams when I stopped alcool that can be very interesting when you analys them, as if your brain (or may be God) is trying to tell you something… I am happy you have a dog like me, I’m sure he prefers to see me serene and sober !! and fresh for a nice walk :) Take care !!
Hey my friend! I honestly think it is from god or very powerful spirits. People call us crazy till they experience it themselves. Also yes!! I love my pups, glad you’re an animal lover too. You take care as well 🙏🏻
I got some freaky hallucinations once that gave me the chills. I thought I saw my dog under my bed sheets moving around but there was nothing there. Then I would be lying down looking at my blank phone screen and see him wagging his tail in the reflection but he was in the other room. So realistic. But overall the insomnia is the worst part. Tired and begging for some sleep but just laying there for hours until the sun came up. It’s cruel and unusual punishment worse than any physical torture.
Btw proud of you for getting help and getting off that wild ride.
Yes my friend I know what you speak of!! I always say the people who know, know. It really is cruel and unusual punishment, that is the absolute best way to put it.
Thank you for the comments my friend !
As a middle aged person, just offering some advice. When your young a break up is horrible. But be patient to find the right person. Your young, you may have more terrible breakups. But eventually you will meet someone special, and you will be glad that the former relationships didn't work out
I like this advice Angela, thank you so much. 🙏🏻 my mom has told me the same thing, you guys are definitely right. Much love.
This is my day 2 and I had some crazy sleep paralysis last night. Slipping in and out of different dreams and hearing and seeing some odd things. Also part of the time knowing I'm dreaming, but can't wake myself up. Like a heavy blanket is weighing me down.
A few instances of my eyes opening and seeing things from my dreams. I've had that stuff I'm the past but it's been a while.
Yes brother I know exactly what you speak of!!! It’s not fun! Prayers going out to you my friend, please be safe. If it gets too overwhelming check yourself into a hospital!! It’s better to be safe than sorry. Keep going strong my friend! 🙏
@Slayer-7373 all good my man. I'm over the worst of it now. First day was an anxious mess, but the pieces are fitting together now.
@@Jimlifts1 that’s great to hear brother, keep pushing forward. You got this 💪
For some of us it truly is spiritual warfare literally
He can’t catch me
It is absolutely spiritual warfare, you’re spot on Kristen!! 🙏🏻
@@Slayer-7373 knowing he’s been chasing me since I was 10yo makes me want to keep running screaming
“Catch me if u can”
Not taking me down nope
Slay if u want a book recommendation the one that impacted me the most & I struggle with God it’s called “Battlefield of the mind” Joyce Meyer. It’s insane! Just take out God and replace it with something u identify with. Kept me sober
@@Slayer-7373Slay somebody in rehab back in the day suggested that book. She actually had it with her. I am anything but a thumper trust me. Maybe u tube it it’s crazy good
my dreams after a bender have reoccurring themes. animals biting my hands, and being in my apartment or a basement with trash and mess everywhere, where i try to walk through it and keep tripping. the worst are the weird demonic ones, that don't make any realistic sense at all, just terribly confusing. The nighttime confusion between the dream world and reality really is the worst. Glad i don't really get myself into this position anymore
I know what you speak of man. It’s extremely weird, off putting. Demonic.
Those dreams have meaning. If your having those its time to stop my friend. That is an end stage hint to you. You are still young yet luckily you still have time to fix this.
Could you tell me more about this brother??
Upon getting sober, most of us would say that sleep is a serious challenge. One minute, you're so tired that you want to collapse. The next, you're so jumpy and agitated that the idea of sleep seems like a cruel joke.
I realize that this video is a few months old, but it seems to me that you had reached a point of acceptance. Believe me, that shit is heroic.
I know that's a tough thing to grasp when you're in the thick of it. You feel like the world is shitting all over you, and genuine support is hard to come by. But one thing I can say is that it DOES get better. That's a promise.
💯needed to hear that end part man, thank you brother.
Also yes the sleep is something I wouldn’t wish on people lol, forget about it. I would pace for hours in my room or kitchen then I’d lay down and within a second I’d be jumping back out of bed again pacing. Crazyyyy
@@Slayer-7373 That's actually how my entire detox played out. I can definitely relate.
I have 2 lucid dreams that I can remember off the top of my head. There were many more, but these i can remember without effort. In the first one I actually wound up sleepwalking... in the dream, i was in my classroom at the school I work at. The student I was in schedule with went missing. First I was looking for him under tables, on closets, behind shelves, you name it. But as panic set in when i realized he wasn't anywhere obvious, I ran out of the classroom and began knocking on classroom doors within the building. A teacher opened the door, and told me he was right behind me. I picked him up and walked back to the classroom, and that's where the stream ends for me. I can remember nothing beyond that. WELL. as it turns out, i had actually been sleep walking. I walked out of my apartment, to my downstairs neighbor's door and knocked. She was the teacher in my dream. My cat, of course, got out and followed me. She pointed to my cat and told me that was my student and to go to bed. I picked up my cat and went back to my apt. I have no idea what i did when i got back in there. I'm curious as to whether i was walking around my apt. Looking through closets and under tables. I am absolutely astonished that I didn't get hurt or lose my cat. I started double locking my door at night. The next dream was totally lucid. In my dream i was piss drunk. It was the middle of the night and i was alone in my apartment. I was avoiding my friends and i knew they were all hanging out. Well in my dream, they just paraded into my apartment and were kind of bullying me into hanging out. They were like.. well when you're done being a loser, we'll be downstairs! Lol they are 100% nothing like that in real life. Well they all left in almost life a conga line straight out my door. When they left i wanted to get up to find a bottle. I was in bed attempting to sleep as all this happened. I look straight ahead and in my periphery, i see someone peeking at me from around the corner. I know that i don't know them and i feel threatened. I try to get up and i can't move. I'm afraid to look again bc i know that the person will be there. I look anyways and they walk across my hallway out of sight. It's a woman in a red dress and she looks miserable. I stay feeling panicked and i try to get up again. To lift my arms, to scream. I'm doing these things, but it's happening so slow. And my screams sound like a groan. I can hear that I'm actually. Groaning in real life. I can feel my arms raising slowly in real life. But it's like those times when you try to run in a dream, but your legs feel like they weigh 1000 lbs. I look up and the woman is running at me, screaming and i roll out if bed. Wake up entirely. I realize that I'm alone, but it takes a long time to recover from the shock and what feels like a lifetime before i started moving quickly again. So those are my stories. On another note, i feel you on your experience with your break up, Slayer. I had so many dreams after i broke up with my most important relationship years ago. I had so many sad dreams with them in it. Sometimes happy dreams with them in it. Every once in a while they will pop in. But i think now it's just a comparison point in my brain when it's trying to work something out. Point is, i understand how jarring it feels. I'm glad that you realize that your life is worth more than sitting in the what if's and regret. It's time for you to jump into the future you deserve!! I'm so glad you are in a group, and that you're so close with your family. I hope you have a great day!! And thanks for these interesting stories. I'm glad you're feeling better and that you didn't get the dt's this time around!! ❤😊❤😊
Hey Amanda! 🙏🏻 thank you so much for this comment. I can totally relate, they are absolutely wild and make very little sense. What you said about your friends coming in and talking shi* is actually really common, how strange right??? Why do so many of us hear our loved ones hating on us in those states?? I find it absolutely fascinating.
Also the lady that you describe running at you, seems to be a common theme too. Usually a woman staring into your soul, then next thing you know it’s almost like she tries to take it!!
Alcohol withdrawal, alcohol withdrawal dreams, delirium tremens I mean all of these things someone really has to experience in real life to understand how awful they are. I’m still recovering, in a lot of pain, out of it and it’s been days and days since my last drink.
Just absolute poison, but you know this Amanda. Much love as always and thanks for sharing your stories 🙏🏻✌🏻
@Slayer-7373 of course! It feels good to share things like this, and I'm so glad that I can say that nightmares like this haven't really happened since i stopped drinking. And yes, they were terrifying. I think they both were just manifestations of my anxieties and the things I felt like I was failing at. I was such a bad friend for a long time, and at work, I felt like I wasn't giving my all because I was always so tired and drained by my lifestyle. I always did my best, but I just didn't have the same level of patience, energy, or focus that I do now. That's such interesting insight about both experiences in my dreams being so common! Again, I imagine it relates to how I was feeling about myself at the time, but I never would have imagined that many others experience the same. And the interpretation of the lady in the red dress? Spot on. That's exactly how it felt. Her presence felt almost demonic. That's what made it so scary. She was menacing. I often heard that when people experience sleep paralysis, they see menacing dark figures. I suffered from sleep paralysis as a kid. Probably because I often didn't completely reach deep sleep bc I was always on high alert. In those experiences, I saw dark figures. This was so jarring because she had a clear form. I hope you had a great day and that you enjoy your weekend, friend!! Big love 😊
I actually really like those dreams, I get lucid dreams very often.
It probably happens because your brain is still making elevated levels of WAKE UP chemicals - it does that to counteract alcohol, which has GO SLEEP effects.
Yes exactly brother, the actual health breakdown of what’s going on inside of our baddies from drinking is fascinating in my opinion. I appreciate this comment my friend 🙏🏻
No judgement dude we all fail. stay vigilant man because
that good old (evil) friend eats its closest friends alive.
Un dia a la vez you are strong
I appreciate this brother. Thank you. You are so right. 🙏🏻
I turned around and realized alcohol stole 30 years of my life and my health please don’t let that happen to you praying for you alcohol is a thief it leaves nothing Don’t look back
😓I’m sorry to hear this, I’m going to try my best I really am. It needs to be gone for good. God bless you, we relate in this struggle. It’s awful. 🙏🏻
This might be crazy but mine have been so vivid before, i didn’t know if it actually happened or not when I woke up.
Trust me that’s not crazy at all and I can totally relate. I always say the people who know, know. Its so bizarre/freaky. Thanks for your comment my friend 🙏
It's good you recognize the experience as demonic. May our adversary, the devil, flee from you in this moment.
It absolutely is a demonic experience my friend and I’m not sure how anyone who has been through the experience could deny that. We must call on our lord Jesus for protection from these wine and “SPIRITS”. Thanks as always my friend.
@@Slayer-7373
the thought occurred to me while I was commenting to Bat Country just about hour ago,
" if alcoholism is a curse, then delirium tremens is a demonic possession."
@@words4dyslexicon agreed lol!
Have you tried using cannabis to help with the initial sleep difficulty? Not saying you should use it to cope all the time but it could help balance things out a bit for those first couple weeks.
I have in the past and it has helped at times.
Ya buddy. The worst. Close eyes, the dreams start. Insane
Mind blowing, the people who know know. 🙏
I had a dream, I was awake but I wasn’t, I knew I was at home taking a nap I had never had one like this nor do I ever remember any. It was Sat afternoon a wk before my bro od. It was dark, yet I could see everything he was doing. The house had a lot of rooms, baby crying in one alone, I saw it all.. I was watching him I was above him floating around.
I was in a d r u g house. It was the night before so Friday. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I believe I had a dream where it’s called astral projection.
I am not lying to you it was the scariest dream I had ever had.
I called my sister in law after asked her if he went out the night before. She told me yep & I told her I thought he had.
Anyway just thought I’d share.
That was real. I saw what he did.
❤
Hey Slayer! How long have you been drinking and how much were you drinking? Im on that AF sober game also!
Been drinking now for almost a decade!! My drink of choice has always been southern comfort 100 proof 🤢. Super nasty stuff but it will get the job done as far as messing you up. Horrible for your insides I’m sure. Congratulations on the sober life my friend!!!! Keep going strong!! 💪
@@Slayer-7373 gotcha. I have been drinking 15+. And bro, in my younger days I LOVED soco. It was always my drank for a good amount of time lol. I liked drinking it straight and mixing it with grape soda. I havent had that stuff in a long time tho. Before I stopped drinking mine was bourbon and clear rum. Ohhh the memories on soco, they weren’t good memories either 😂😂 As I sit here and type this I have the smell of soco in my nose lol it has a very distinct smell.
@@Ghetto-toaster22 right?? You’re 100% right I can slightly taste it just from us talking about it. I use to mix it with Dr Pepper, then when I got real bad I just started drinking it from the bottle. What you just said about “bad memories” with it Is 100% true. Soco came with bad decisions and regret nearly every time I drank it which was every day at one time!! Me and my brother started out drinking burnettes vodka and then when that wasn’t doing the trick anymore is when we both switch to the soco. I don’t miss drinking that crap at all. It’s weird if I ever get a craving for alcohol nowadays it’s always beer, never anything other than beer but I know where that beer leads me to. Thanks for the comments my friend!!! 🙏
My dreams were usually nice in withdrawal then I’d wake up in my mess as if the DTs were tormenting me waking up in a flat filled with shit and evil and slowly coming to my senses of the reality of my situation then sometimes would not know where I was like when u wake up after fainting, I never knew where I was for half hour just terrified thinking I was in a strange house like sleep paralysis, have u ever watched the delirium tremens videos by bat country? On YT
What would you say was the creepiest thing you saw brother? Do you mind me asking?
Also yes!!! I’ve chatted with bat country a couple times, I love his videos. Dude has been to hell and back, I can relate to some of what he’s seen. It’s demonic SH💩.
@@Slayer-7373 a black alien small with a huge head and Asian styled eyes pure black eyes, dancing to a clubland video I was romanising too earlier as if the DTs were saying “u think it’s cool to take ecstasy” either that or visioning my friends suicide jumping out of a hospital window with clubland music playing again like the DT was saying “u think this addiction is funny” also visited Virgin Mary covered in blood in my third eye but I’d say the visions of the alien was the worst at my window in the corner of my eyes, scared of being abducted, also visions of planes crashing, boats sinking, the Quran playing in my ears with prophet visions and visions of bin ladens right hand man staring into my soul in my vision, I’d get psychic visions when in DTs also where I’d feel the pain of people around the globe with story’s etc, but the black alien was by far the creepiest, visions of space and god. I’m making a video now u may like about the lies I told in alcoholism quite funny. ❤️
The 2nd worst was visioning dead friends I knew from AA scratching and burning in hell clubland music sad music playing as I witnessed there regret for not getting sober and the idea something was trying to take my soul to hell then visioning Jesus rejecting me was scary too, visions of the pain of people and how these demons had them, visions of people hanging, visions of my friends suicide and his regret.
@@Slayer-7373 the first was the black alien dancing to clubland a video I watched sober glamorising ecstasy as if the DTs were saying “u think it was a joke” also boats crashing in my vision like a dream but awake and capsizing, I have massive fear of the ocean, also planes crashing and also visions of religious figures mother Mary covered in blood, Jesus rejecting me, visions of hell and my soul going there, I’ve heard people in my flat and felt spirits, people behind doors, the local addicts planning to kill me scared of my own shadow.
@@Slayer-7373 furthermore I’ve just recorded a video because u inspired me to share a video on my experience with DTs it will be uploaded soon if uploader works ❤️🙏
2:34 am rite now I jumped up ⬆️ and it sounded like my tv 📺 was on full blast 💥 volume with voices like commercials or something I’m dead serious my anxiety is strong and heart was racing as I woke up ⬆️ this is normal correct? I didn’t drink at all today I got one day sober ‼️
@@jacobgarner5593 I know all too well bro, please be safe man. Goto the hospital if need be!
And speaking of dreams, I had a dream coming off both thc and alcohol, and I was in a dark dark place, lit by fire. I remember seeing myself, but a more deranged and twisted version of myself. I punched him, and i remember his face contorted when it did.
The dreams coming off alcohol or thc are absolutely WILD. I had more dreams last night and it’s been over a week now. Crazy stuff man.
Ps,
My friend is not bloated ,
Thankyou.
🖤thanks seg.
@@Slayer-7373 your beautiful x
Ignore ignorance x
I think its because you are catching up on rem sleep which you dont have when passing out with booze. Always terrible for me too, almost enough to keep the relapse going
You’re exactly spot on!
❤
🖤🙏🏻
I love your smile
Hey thank you Kristen! 🙏🏻
@@Slayer-7373 your doing it 💕
have you looked into online deliverance bro?
I will check this out brother, god bless
@@Slayer-7373 noah hines deliverance ministry on youtube, much love bro 💪🏽
Yt keeps eating my comments again, so I'm just going to say hang in there. I'm also dealing with insomnia right now, and it's just the worst.
❤ that dog ❤
I hate when it does that to peoples comments, I’m sorry ILAA. It’s done it to me several times over these last few months too. You’re not alone in your insomnia, last night was another really awful night of trying to sleep. Sometimes it feels pointless even trying. Also yes 🖤 she was a great dog and I miss her.
Much love as always 🙏🏻
I messed up today slayer I’m extremely disappointed in myself I had 2 tall cans today ‼️I’m extremely extremely beating myself up 💯 my head was hurting so bad today honestly and I was craving more alcohol 🍺 but I denied 🙅♂️ myself but I’m still extremely disappointed in myself and I’m worried I’m just going to fail again tomorrow and drink 🍺 2 tall cans again tomorrow ‼️ I hate this shit dude I hate this addiction 💯 it’s straight destroying me fool 💯 had one ☝️ day sober and I fucked it up today I feel like I hate myself 💯
@@jacobgarner5593 it’s okay brotha it happens, you’ve got to remember you have the power man. When you say enough is enough is when it will end. It sounds like you need medical detox bro, i know that ain’t fun but it makes that first week SO much easier. It can get you on your feet and give you a real chance. Same as me man we’ve got to find our purpose. That will keep us sober. God bless bro, let me know what happens 🙏
Slayer, i fucked up again. I'm going through it again. What's wrong with me. I wanna die. Your words gelp me brother
Hey my friend!! Just seeing this!! How are you right now? Let me know!
@Slayer-7373 Hi Slayer, thanks for replying to me brother. I decided to have a few pints of cider on Saturday afternoon to calm my boredom. I found myself in my bedroom on Monday morning with horrible withdrawal and 3 empty 1 litre vodka bottles around my bed. I rang my dad and he said I'd gone for Sunday lunch at my brother's and passed out knocking my head onto his big floor standing speakers. They got me outside while my jeans pants were down round my ankles trying to get me into my dad's car. My dad got me home and put me to bed. I've been going through withdrawal and not sleeping for 3 nights. Been through the lucid nightmares. I've been tapering off the vodka and it's helping but I've had terrible lucid nightmares. It's getting better now it's Thursday. I also bought a £375 pound guitar cab from an Ebayer in Ipswich which I couldn't collect because I was incapable of driving to collect. I got a refund which is lucky. I just spoke to my dad to apologise and I'm going to speak to my brother later to apologise for my drunk behaviour at Sunday lunch. I need to make this the last time bro. It could've been much worse. Either dead or in jail. I need to start treating my addiction seriously. I hope you're ok brother. Your videos do help people. I'm hopefully going to get back to my addiction meetings in Sheffield. God bless.
I've seen shit that was terrifying. Lucid.
Yes it’s horrible
Demons are real
The Holy spirit and angels are real too
They absolutely are.
@@xjman546 and they absolutely are as well 🙏🏻
I remember the night I quit drinking I had this dream that I was in my old work bathroom and this coworker who was actually a vendor for Pepsi at the time, I worked freight at a grocery store, he said to me with a loud voice, "so you quit huh" and I was taken aback because I quit my job at my home store, and I saw him lunge towards me, as I was lying on the restroom floor, then I woke up with the voice still resonating through my head.
@@Jimmypagesgreat wild my friend!
This video was easy to watch. So curious who the youtuber was lol
Awe that is really awesome of you to say, thank you and welcome 🙏🏻
We can glance in the rear view just don’t get stuck.
I’m sorry your ❤ hurts
Just turned 29 I'm drunk af rn
I’m sorry to hear that, but happy birthday my friend. Be safe!
16 beers down bro
Be safe man!
You can see your face has bloated back up because of the alcohol
fricking rude comment there
Hey it’s okay, you tell no lie. That’s from my liver having issues, my face bloats when I drink. 😓
@@DawgsofCleveland thank you for defending me 🖤🙏🏻
@@Slayer-7373 I didn’t mean it in a rude way, most people bloat up from alcohol, I wish slayer the very best I’m just being real
@@Manos-de-Piedra all good brother.
Do you have a job ?
I do my friend. 🙏🏻
What do you do for work?
@@ImkeSinner-wv2md supervisor for my dads small business 🤙
@@ImkeSinner-wv2md supervisor for my dads small business 🤙