I've dealt with these thoughts a lot of my life. Past few months, I've thought about it pretty much every day. There's no amount of love or support that helps. The end result is me. The problem is me. It's always been inside of me. I fucking hate myself.
I more so hate the world and society. I am not bad, the world is. You have to suffer if you plan on living on this earth and some people have no issue with the trade off. I personally think its not worth it. The planet is beautiful, people suck. Chalk it up to greed, ignorance and selfishness. It would make anyone want out. When you prefer sleep vs being wake, something is wrong.
I hope you guys get better... There's light, there's beauty that you'll find. I'm down just like you, but from different reasons. To me, it would be an act of cowardice and huge amount of pain on those I love and love me, my family. That's my North Star. Find what drives you and you'll find the beauty of life, reasons and amazing people to create amazing friendships. Stay strong and we are all going to make it
I understand you very well. I’ve been going through similar problems for most of my life, i just see no end to it. Cool that you made this, it helped me to drift away from depression and anxiety for a little bit and gave me sense that I’m not alone and somebody went through shit that I’m going through
Thanks for leaving the reply. You are not alone! What are you feeling like right now are you doing Better? Having depression is an isolating feeling so I am glad you found some connection here.
@@AdopteeOutOftheFog I don’t know about better, I’m feeling very put down by life and then I put myself down even more. I don’t really talk about that because in our society it’s pretty looked down upon and I don’t have a good support system like family or friends that I can talk to about that kind of thing, friends that I do have would never get what I talk about so why be the mood killer you know. Anyway I’m going to this workout program tomorrow even though I can’t afford it right now but I’ll figure out cash later, I don’t know if it will fix anything but shit we gotta try.
When you said the part about the illness and how doctors just say oh it’s anxiety. But working feels so uncomfortable to the symptoms you’re having and they just disregard it. Really hit home man. I’m going through some stuff right now with my health I hope it gets better and I hope it really is anxiety I hope the doctors are right shits just frustrating bro. I wish you the best man I think it’s so important to make videos like this these days. People are really out here hurting and just still trying to get afloat in this fucked up world. 🌍
Hey thanks my brother that means a lot, yeah some of my most disrespectful and dismissive moments in the worst times of my life have been with doctors, it’s horrible to be gaslit by them when you do not have a diagnosis, wishing you the best too my friend! Thanks for sharing what you’re going through. 🙏
Thank you so so much for this video. I'm in that dark place right now and your video makes me feel less alone. You have absolutely no idea about how alone I'm feeling and your video makes me feel a bit less of it.
I am glad I can help! It’s a horrible horrible feeling, I can tell you that in my experience, it’s not taught to self examine, but depression made me look inside my self, taught me… forced me to problem solve, I got out a peice of paper, and just simply wrote “why am I so depressed?” And listened for the answers, just write whatever comes out, usually it is something bad from childhood or something we are doing, not doing, I promise you all the answers are inside of you, all you have to do is look, keep asking why, write down the answers and repeat. Hope this helps.
I recommend Discord- if you have any hobbies or goals, find a good channel and just talk freely to people, even make friends (assuming you don't have friends, if you do, I apologise for my mistake. I really wish all the best, keep pushing through and find out what small things bring joy to you. For me in my darkest times helped noting the moments I felt better, what I was doing, and then slowly seeing progress. Incremental change.
Jesus man, hearing you talk is like I am hearing myself. You just described it perfectly, I am obsessively suicidal. I feel like even when I was a little kid I had self destructive tendencies, I would often cut myself or put a bag in my head and attempt to suffocate myself and for pretty much most of my life I have obsessed over committing suicide. I would extensively daydream about it for hours, the method, the place and time, what I would do leading up to it... Last year I acquired a gun and I was planing to actually do it but I made the ''mistake'' of telling someone and I got the authorities called on me and they put me in a mental hospital. I've also always been bullied and mistreated by others. I am hispanic and I grew up in a small predominately white town and people would bully the living shit out of me, at every job I worked I would get fired in less than a year. Most of my life I've felt like a failure. I started doing drugs and drinking at the age of 14, I did it to just quiet my thoughts telling me to end it. I am still deeply struggling. But I rediscovered some of my hobbies and it has brought me at least some peace, as well as medication has helped. I don' think I'll ever shake that darkness off me but I am slowly starting to learn to live despite it. I think I am at a point where I've akdnowdleged I have a severe chronic illness in my brain and that just like people with a physical illness need to constantly watch their health and live a healthy lifestyle to prevent the illness from advancing, I too have to be very careful in my life and stay on track making sure I have balance and structure... Because I know well whenever I go slightly off track those obsessive thoughts come right back.
I've never heard someone describe this state of mind so accurately. I really really relate to a lot of it, more than any other video I've seen on the topic. Thanks for this.
20 years dealing with obsessive thoughts and insanely strong urges and plans to do it, attempting 4x, I have had to find a way to deal w it, thank you so much for your kind words, it means a lot my story can help you. I see you.
Thank you for sharing. I feel less alone. I have had those feelings since third grade, and im now 33. Still here but I still struggle. Thanks for sharing your story.
Thank you for posting and sharing your story, I've had my fair share of experience with this subject (below is my little story if anyone cares). Glad you made it out of the trap and you seem to be doing well. You really are an inspiration to me and others, I hope the rest of your life is only up from here. My first attempt was at 8 years old. Being a stupid kid I tried to drown myself. I still remember, I stuck my head in a 1 gallon bucket with the handle around the back of my head and i just sat in the bath and filled it up, my body took over and I wiggled my way out. I then moved on to suffocation, finally I ended with just sticking a gun in my mouth and pulling the trigger every day when I got home from school. I did this for around 4 to 5 years, sometimes the gun was loaded with the safety on or was just empty. Sometimes the safety was off and not loaded so i got the rush from the trigger pull and the click. It actually just became a habit and one day I realized that I'm not actually suicidal anymore. My last attempt was around 2022 (for reference I was 20 at the time). These days I'm still depressed, I still think about killing myself but I dont act on it. When I get really upset and mad I just exercise to the extreme (running to the point of heat exhaustion or biking till i cant walk when i'm done) or just hurt myself in ways that dont leave lasting effects.
Thanks for the kind words and writing your story, it sounds like you have a similar mindset like many of us did/ do, i really am happy to hear you found something that helps, exercise and finding that thing that you can positively hurt yourself with, running, cardio, working out, boxing, can be extremely helpful, I hear you my friend, hope your life gets better and better for you as well.
Thank you so so much for posting this. I’m in that place you talk about where I can’t see outside of my head and suicide is just always on my mind, with past attempts and just living for family so I’m not “selfish” always feeling the people around me are the selfish ones for forcing me to stay. Anyways- it was just so refreshing to finally be able to hear from someone who isn’t judgmental. I know people don’t mean to be, but they judge suicidal wishes. I want to read the book you mentioned. Again, just thank you so much for sharing your story without trying to force me one way or another.
You're courageous and inspiring! Stay true to yourself. Thanks for the David Goggins book recommendation, really gotta get that! I used to be in a dark place (not quite suicidal) year ago, when my mind dissociated for 3 months intensely, until it eventually lessened every day. Now I don't even remember it, as I spend my time thinking other things. Jordan Petersons words about incremental change and goal setting probably helped me too. Usually the problem is just misperception: you misunderstand your own situation and thoughts and what others say or said and come to the worst conclusion in looped thoughts. You'd believe anyone else can overcome their problems (of course they can, they have unique strengths, humans are adaptive), but when you feel bad you just don't see a way out in your personal case, and think that it is impossible to ever be happy or be in a good place. But you're wrong. So many people did it even from worse situations (and even with their minds worse messed up) and prove it possible
cheers brother to where you are. Currently at that stage in my 20s where I have basically no reason to be proud of myself & incredibly lost, and the inkling neuroticism of just wanting to be out of the game of life never has gone away. Even when just a few years ago, people said I "made it". Never dated, never had real confidence in the privacy of my own head, and I've always gone the path of least resistance. If I had a gun or rope on hand, it would have been extremely tempting. Even now, it's very alluring because anything I have up here is just surface level stuff that makes me feel numb. maybe I have my health, maybe I even have some people around me, and that's something to remember. but I have no idea what I'm doing and just want off. maybe that makes me selfish. not like I don't feel like that already. I wouldn't even know what's there for me if I tried, so it's hard to even find a reason to try.
I appreciate you being so open my friend, I relate to so much of what you’re saying, this life doesn’t make sense to me a lot of the times, and just want out, it’s a crazy thing to be alive and not know what the hell for, appreciate you being here and being honest.
Very true. Some don’t have that possibility though, ptsd veterans with no hope, adoptees/ orphans with grief that’s denied and massively miss understood and miss diagnosed by professionals, people with life ending illnesses with no cure, this channel is to help the darkest of the dark, people do have every right to end their own lives, I hope they don’t, but that may be the only control they have over their own life. It’s a sad reality. It was me. I do not know how I am alive.
looking up to you bro so grateful you managed to stick it out this far and you were still here to make this vid, you did it so long, twice as long as i have and same here bro just always visualizing what to do or how to do it, i'm turning 21 this month, DONT WANT TO BE NEGATIVE but i thought i could finally push through and do it a week ago cause i felt so ready to dispose of myself i tried to hang by my belt in my closet but i stopped cause i could feel my body going numb which i think it meant it was working but i just stopped cause it was too uncomfortable thought i might just use my dad's gun instead but if you managed to keep stretching it out, maybe i can too i fully believe things are gonna get better too, gonna do all the things i didn't do that i regret not doing when i was growing up (or try at least) :)
You’re not being negative at all my dude, you’re being real and honest, it’s ok and I am very happy you are being honest, you’re not alone. I see you man, have you ever done a life review or an objective look at what may have caused trauma or pain in your life? Or written a want list about the things you really want in life? Not anyone else around you but really sit w yourself and find what YOU want? If you’re willing to die for yourself, you’re willing to die for working towards something for yourself too, don’t forget that, it’s all energy, you have more power in you than you realize.
thank you bro means actually alot ya 1 of the only thoughts that ever led me to continue was just trying not to die in vain and die FOR something instead if anything i think most of the reasons for hating myself was thru my parents and the way they raised me, i always denied it tho cause i never wanted to blame them since they were good to me otherwise and they tried their best, but i know now that i can move beyond what i used to be now that i have a better understanding of it all fundamentally, all i gotta do is get past feeling like i was doomed from the start and feeling like i gotta restart myself and my life 20 years later than everybody else, im confident that i can do it this time though :)
They can help change your mindset, yea. Personally they helped me somewhat but please take them responsibly and not alone if you can, bad trips can really mess you up. Good luck out there, no one deserves to go through depression.
I've been going through this for the past month. I came very close to just laying in the street hoping I'd get hit by a car. It's hard to get through it if you don't feel like you have support.
I still don’t have support, I have never had any professional identify with any suicidal thoughts, they always looked really scared I might do it, that’s not how to help, I get it. Life fucking sucks, I been thinking a lot about life, if I am willing to die to get out of this life, I have to be willing to die to work or do something better for myself, I have tried and failed 4x to end my life and I still think about it time to time to try again, I look forward to when this life is over. But can you do a want list to see what you want In life? You may be surprised if you find something you want that you can say “I will do this or die” and that is something you can take seriously.
💔After devastatingly recently losing the mom I never had, as an adoptee and former foster teen/child. Born to a woman I mean absolutely nothing to, whom was also physically abusive. Neglectful negligent, other family members making excuses nor caring, a father who tried to care gone tragically also. Feeling alone parentless, as a young millennial where most of my peers/associates have family or parents.😔💔😪 Many could never understand or truly perhaps empathize with my pain/deep trauma wounds of abandonment. My adopted mom showed me pure love, stability, safety, and true care to lose her so soon. 😢😪😥 Amongst others, the things/plans we spoke of doing that’ll never come to pass, the weekend we’ll never have together.💔🌏💔 No one can never ever, love me or care for me, like she did.😥😭😢 I’m personally done with this life and cruel world, where some seem to suffer more than others.💔🌏💔 💔😪🥀 My sense of security is shattered I’m done here I want be with my adopted mom, biological father, amongst others. I don’t want to be here anymore…. 😥😢😥 😢😪😥Lastly, I tried to even open my heart up to love, only to have been completely mistreated, chewed up, and spat out. Like I meant nothing to him as I once thought I really did. Someone I “truly loved” the first man ever as I was losing the woman who meant the world to me and I to her.💔😭💔 I’m not needed here, the unfair card I’ve been dealt that I never asked for shows it, nor do I matter truly the world will still go on without me. It sadly always does…💔🌏💔
I have done plenty of suicide attempts. Unfortunately i'm still here. And with saying unfortunately i really mean UNFORTUNATELY. After al my suicide attempts i went to the IC and from the moment i got there everything god way worse then i've ever experience in WHOLE my life. Btw.....Lorazepam doesn't kill you. I've take plenty of Lorazepam. for example today i have taken 15 tablets of 2,5 mg. And i'm fine. I feel lovely okay!! Gr gr Dario.
Good words man. As someone who suffered from severe depression and suicidal ideations for years the depression cure by Steve illardi really helped me. If anyone is struggling I’d highly recommend getting his book and implementing his lifestyle changes
My religion forbids suicide. The second I'm sure this is no longer the case, I'm out of here in a split second. I feel imprisoned in my body, imprisoned on this planet, suffocating among human animals. I hate every passing minute of this breathing burden. You're lucky you found a good woman. Filipinos are sweethearts. Good luck to you.
Try self hypnosis it feels like being dead. You don’t need to do it. You can visit everyday if you want. It’s like anesthesia. You can even learn to slow your heart rate down until you knockout. That’s what I do now. I can send you the TH-cam link
I wasn’t scared of going to therapy, I wanted answers, I was afraid of being 5150’d, they can do that by law, I was just afraid of not getting normal or functioning ever.
I thought about suicide now for about 20 years if not more...going through some really dark stuff now, not worked for 16years severe depression and anxiety...tried faith but nothing comes back not sure what to do.
Pray and wait on Gods timeing-- yr just in a middle of a Strom lately--- many are in the same situation; as we are now living in our last days-- in Timothy 2v3--- read scriptures in yr BIBLE as that will guide you and bring you peace--- please don't give up ; I pray for you in Juses name 🙏 ❤️ Juses is the way 🙏
david goggins is an entp, you are one too.. you talk about your own experiences; about suffering; about possibilities .. NE is an hard cognitive function to have.. Just saying
God is love. God is glorious. God hates sin. Bible prophecies are continuing to be fulfilled. Every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus is Lord.
Thanks for this one brother, really means a lot. Takes a real man to show such emotion I applaud you mate!
It’s a real issue going on in life, truly want to help others. Thank you brother.
I've dealt with these thoughts a lot of my life. Past few months, I've thought about it pretty much every day. There's no amount of love or support that helps. The end result is me. The problem is me. It's always been inside of me. I fucking hate myself.
I more so hate the world and society. I am not bad, the world is. You have to suffer if you plan on living on this earth and some people have no issue with the trade off. I personally think its not worth it. The planet is beautiful, people suck. Chalk it up to greed, ignorance and selfishness. It would make anyone want out. When you prefer sleep vs being wake, something is wrong.
Steroids helped me with depression , injecting testosterone ! do some research on youtube
I hope you guys get better... There's light, there's beauty that you'll find. I'm down just like you, but from different reasons. To me, it would be an act of cowardice and huge amount of pain on those I love and love me, my family. That's my North Star. Find what drives you and you'll find the beauty of life, reasons and amazing people to create amazing friendships. Stay strong and we are all going to make it
I understand you very well. I’ve been going through similar problems for most of my life, i just see no end to it. Cool that you made this, it helped me to drift away from depression and anxiety for a little bit and gave me sense that I’m not alone and somebody went through shit that I’m going through
Thanks for leaving the reply. You are not alone! What are you feeling like right now are you doing Better? Having depression is an isolating feeling so I am glad you found some connection here.
@@AdopteeOutOftheFog I don’t know about better, I’m feeling very put down by life and then I put myself down even more. I don’t really talk about that because in our society it’s pretty looked down upon and I don’t have a good support system like family or friends that I can talk to about that kind of thing, friends that I do have would never get what I talk about so why be the mood killer you know. Anyway I’m going to this workout program tomorrow even though I can’t afford it right now but I’ll figure out cash later, I don’t know if it will fix anything but shit we gotta try.
@@Kirill-uc7jp I hope you're feeling better at this point.
I'm there now, every hour i get the thoughts. If I don't make it through I hope anyone else can find the strength I couldn't
I see you 🙏. I am right there. Those thoughts are so evil and crazy.
When you said the part about the illness and how doctors just say oh it’s anxiety. But working feels so uncomfortable to the symptoms you’re having and they just disregard it. Really hit home man. I’m going through some stuff right now with my health I hope it gets better and I hope it really is anxiety I hope the doctors are right shits just frustrating bro. I wish you the best man I think it’s so important to make videos like this these days. People are really out here hurting and just still trying to get afloat in this fucked up world. 🌍
Hey thanks my brother that means a lot, yeah some of my most disrespectful and dismissive moments in the worst times of my life have been with doctors, it’s horrible to be gaslit by them when you do not have a diagnosis, wishing you the best too my friend! Thanks for sharing what you’re going through. 🙏
Thank you so so much for this video. I'm in that dark place right now and your video makes me feel less alone. You have absolutely no idea about how alone I'm feeling and your video makes me feel a bit less of it.
I am glad I can help! It’s a horrible horrible feeling, I can tell you that in my experience, it’s not taught to self examine, but depression made me look inside my self, taught me… forced me to problem solve, I got out a peice of paper, and just simply wrote “why am I so depressed?” And listened for the answers, just write whatever comes out, usually it is something bad from childhood or something we are doing, not doing, I promise you all the answers are inside of you, all you have to do is look, keep asking why, write down the answers and repeat. Hope this helps.
I recommend Discord- if you have any hobbies or goals, find a good channel and just talk freely to people, even make friends (assuming you don't have friends, if you do, I apologise for my mistake. I really wish all the best, keep pushing through and find out what small things bring joy to you. For me in my darkest times helped noting the moments I felt better, what I was doing, and then slowly seeing progress. Incremental change.
helped me more than any spiritual talk or teacher i've looked for. thanks so much man you're an angel
🫶🏼
Jesus man, hearing you talk is like I am hearing myself. You just described it perfectly, I am obsessively suicidal. I feel like even when I was a little kid I had self destructive tendencies, I would often cut myself or put a bag in my head and attempt to suffocate myself and for pretty much most of my life I have obsessed over committing suicide. I would extensively daydream about it for hours, the method, the place and time, what I would do leading up to it... Last year I acquired a gun and I was planing to actually do it but I made the ''mistake'' of telling someone and I got the authorities called on me and they put me in a mental hospital. I've also always been bullied and mistreated by others. I am hispanic and I grew up in a small predominately white town and people would bully the living shit out of me, at every job I worked I would get fired in less than a year. Most of my life I've felt like a failure. I started doing drugs and drinking at the age of 14, I did it to just quiet my thoughts telling me to end it.
I am still deeply struggling. But I rediscovered some of my hobbies and it has brought me at least some peace, as well as medication has helped. I don' think I'll ever shake that darkness off me but I am slowly starting to learn to live despite it. I think I am at a point where I've akdnowdleged I have a severe chronic illness in my brain and that just like people with a physical illness need to constantly watch their health and live a healthy lifestyle to prevent the illness from advancing, I too have to be very careful in my life and stay on track making sure I have balance and structure... Because I know well whenever I go slightly off track those obsessive thoughts come right back.
Sorry you’re experiencing this too my friend, I appreciate you sharing 🙏
I've never heard someone describe this state of mind so accurately. I really really relate to a lot of it, more than any other video I've seen on the topic. Thanks for this.
20 years dealing with obsessive thoughts and insanely strong urges and plans to do it, attempting 4x, I have had to find a way to deal w it, thank you so much for your kind words, it means a lot my story can help you. I see you.
Thank you for sharing. I feel less alone. I have had those feelings since third grade, and im now 33. Still here but I still struggle. Thanks for sharing your story.
You are not alone my friend 🤝
I'm 33 too. Suicidal for 10+ years. It is so painful. ❤ sad others feel this way but glad I'm not alone.
God bless you brother, massive fan of David Goggins here as well
Yes he’s helped me so much his book can’t hurt me changed my life
Yea nothing like a deadbeat dad who abandoned his wife and kid to go in the army!!
16:29 Worry land and fear land is a good description of that feeling.
Thank you for posting and sharing your story, I've had my fair share of experience with this subject (below is my little story if anyone cares). Glad you made it out of the trap and you seem to be doing well. You really are an inspiration to me and others, I hope the rest of your life is only up from here.
My first attempt was at 8 years old. Being a stupid kid I tried to drown myself. I still remember, I stuck my head in a 1 gallon bucket with the handle around the back of my head and i just sat in the bath and filled it up, my body took over and I wiggled my way out. I then moved on to suffocation, finally I ended with just sticking a gun in my mouth and pulling the trigger every day when I got home from school. I did this for around 4 to 5 years, sometimes the gun was loaded with the safety on or was just empty. Sometimes the safety was off and not loaded so i got the rush from the trigger pull and the click. It actually just became a habit and one day I realized that I'm not actually suicidal anymore. My last attempt was around 2022 (for reference I was 20 at the time). These days I'm still depressed, I still think about killing myself but I dont act on it. When I get really upset and mad I just exercise to the extreme (running to the point of heat exhaustion or biking till i cant walk when i'm done) or just hurt myself in ways that dont leave lasting effects.
Thanks for the kind words and writing your story, it sounds like you have a similar mindset like many of us did/ do, i really am happy to hear you found something that helps, exercise and finding that thing that you can positively hurt yourself with, running, cardio, working out, boxing, can be extremely helpful, I hear you my friend, hope your life gets better and better for you as well.
Thank you so so much for posting this. I’m in that place you talk about where I can’t see outside of my head and suicide is just always on my mind, with past attempts and just living for family so I’m not “selfish” always feeling the people around me are the selfish ones for forcing me to stay. Anyways- it was just so refreshing to finally be able to hear from someone who isn’t judgmental. I know people don’t mean to be, but they judge suicidal wishes. I want to read the book you mentioned. Again, just thank you so much for sharing your story without trying to force me one way or another.
I see you my friend. Thank you for your comment 🙏
You're courageous and inspiring! Stay true to yourself. Thanks for the David Goggins book recommendation, really gotta get that! I used to be in a dark place (not quite suicidal) year ago, when my mind dissociated for 3 months intensely, until it eventually lessened every day. Now I don't even remember it, as I spend my time thinking other things. Jordan Petersons words about incremental change and goal setting probably helped me too. Usually the problem is just misperception: you misunderstand your own situation and thoughts and what others say or said and come to the worst conclusion in looped thoughts. You'd believe anyone else can overcome their problems (of course they can, they have unique strengths, humans are adaptive), but when you feel bad you just don't see a way out in your personal case, and think that it is impossible to ever be happy or be in a good place. But you're wrong. So many people did it even from worse situations (and even with their minds worse messed up) and prove it possible
Thank you brother. I am mixed raced and I resonate with what you are saying. Stay strong.
cheers brother to where you are.
Currently at that stage in my 20s where I have basically no reason to be proud of myself & incredibly lost, and the inkling neuroticism of just wanting to be out of the game of life never has gone away. Even when just a few years ago, people said I "made it".
Never dated, never had real confidence in the privacy of my own head, and I've always gone the path of least resistance.
If I had a gun or rope on hand, it would have been extremely tempting. Even now, it's very alluring because anything I have up here is just surface level stuff that makes me feel numb.
maybe I have my health, maybe I even have some people around me, and that's something to remember.
but I have no idea what I'm doing and just want off. maybe that makes me selfish. not like I don't feel like that already.
I wouldn't even know what's there for me if I tried, so it's hard to even find a reason to try.
I appreciate you being so open my friend, I relate to so much of what you’re saying, this life doesn’t make sense to me a lot of the times, and just want out, it’s a crazy thing to be alive and not know what the hell for, appreciate you being here and being honest.
You are a true brother! God Bless you!
Never know when a blessing could be around the corner!
Very true. Some don’t have that possibility though, ptsd veterans with no hope, adoptees/ orphans with grief that’s denied and massively miss understood and miss diagnosed by professionals, people with life ending illnesses with no cure, this channel is to help the darkest of the dark, people do have every right to end their own lives, I hope they don’t, but that may be the only control they have over their own life. It’s a sad reality. It was me. I do not know how I am alive.
looking up to you bro so grateful you managed to stick it out this far and you were still here to make this vid, you did it so long, twice as long as i have and same here bro just always visualizing what to do or how to do it, i'm turning 21 this month, DONT WANT TO BE NEGATIVE but i thought i could finally push through and do it a week ago cause i felt so ready to dispose of myself i tried to hang by my belt in my closet but i stopped cause i could feel my body going numb which i think it meant it was working but i just stopped cause it was too uncomfortable
thought i might just use my dad's gun instead but if you managed to keep stretching it out, maybe i can too i fully believe things are gonna get better too, gonna do all the things i didn't do that i regret not doing when i was growing up (or try at least) :)
You’re not being negative at all my dude, you’re being real and honest, it’s ok and I am very happy you are being honest, you’re not alone. I see you man, have you ever done a life review or an objective look at what may have caused trauma or pain in your life? Or written a want list about the things you really want in life? Not anyone else around you but really sit w yourself and find what YOU want? If you’re willing to die for yourself, you’re willing to die for working towards something for yourself too, don’t forget that, it’s all energy, you have more power in you than you realize.
thank you bro means actually alot ya 1 of the only thoughts that ever led me to continue was just trying not to die in vain and die FOR something instead if anything
i think most of the reasons for hating myself was thru my parents and the way they raised me, i always denied it tho cause i never wanted to blame them since they were good to me otherwise and they tried their best, but i know now that i can move beyond what i used to be now that i have a better understanding of it all fundamentally, all i gotta do is get past feeling like i was doomed from the start and feeling like i gotta restart myself and my life 20 years later than everybody else, im confident that i can do it this time though :)
Legend for this video may it save or at least guide one soul ameen ❤ good on you brother stay strong stay fighting your awesome
Thank you that means a lot 🙏
I considered magic mushrooms because I hear this cures depression. I am so tired of crying. Life is too hard for me.
They can help change your mindset, yea. Personally they helped me somewhat but please take them responsibly and not alone if you can, bad trips can really mess you up. Good luck out there, no one deserves to go through depression.
@@Tundric_Schwolf Thank you so much.
Preciate you telling your story brother stay hard
🙏
I've been going through this for the past month. I came very close to just laying in the street hoping I'd get hit by a car. It's hard to get through it if you don't feel like you have support.
I still don’t have support, I have never had any professional identify with any suicidal thoughts, they always looked really scared I might do it, that’s not how to help, I get it. Life fucking sucks, I been thinking a lot about life, if I am willing to die to get out of this life, I have to be willing to die to work or do something better for myself, I have tried and failed 4x to end my life and I still think about it time to time to try again, I look forward to when this life is over. But can you do a want list to see what you want In life? You may be surprised if you find something you want that you can say “I will do this or die” and that is something you can take seriously.
Great Video, very relatable.
Thank you for sharing. I hope you find healing and peace.
Relatable video. Thank you.
I relate to this man I want to die so bad it just feels like there is no way to fix it .
I see you.
💔After devastatingly recently losing the mom I never had, as an adoptee and former foster teen/child. Born to a woman I mean absolutely nothing to, whom was also physically abusive. Neglectful negligent, other family members making excuses nor caring, a father who tried to care gone tragically also. Feeling alone parentless, as a young millennial where most of my peers/associates have family or parents.😔💔😪 Many could never understand or truly perhaps empathize with my pain/deep trauma wounds of abandonment. My adopted mom showed me pure love, stability, safety, and true care to lose her so soon. 😢😪😥 Amongst others, the things/plans we spoke of doing that’ll never come to pass, the weekend we’ll never have together.💔🌏💔 No one can never ever, love me or care for me, like she did.😥😭😢 I’m personally done with this life and cruel world, where some seem to suffer more than others.💔🌏💔 💔😪🥀 My sense of security is shattered I’m done here I want be with my adopted mom, biological father, amongst others. I don’t want to be here anymore…. 😥😢😥 😢😪😥Lastly, I tried to even open my heart up to love, only to have been completely mistreated, chewed up, and spat out. Like I meant nothing to him as I once thought I really did. Someone I “truly loved” the first man ever as I was losing the woman who meant the world to me and I to her.💔😭💔 I’m not needed here, the unfair card I’ve been dealt that I never asked for shows it, nor do I matter truly the world will still go on without me. It sadly always does…💔🌏💔
I see you, I relate so deeply with you, thank you so much for sharing and being honest and open. ❤️🩹
Going thro a lot now, thanks bro
Thank you for sharing, I wish you find peace.
Thank you, brother 🙏
So glad you got some help from this video. Appreciate you watching.
I have done plenty of suicide attempts. Unfortunately i'm still here. And with saying unfortunately i really mean UNFORTUNATELY. After al my suicide attempts i went to the IC and from the moment i got there everything god way worse then i've ever experience in WHOLE my life.
Btw.....Lorazepam doesn't kill you. I've take plenty of Lorazepam. for example today i have taken 15 tablets of 2,5 mg. And i'm fine. I feel lovely okay!!
Gr gr Dario.
I really feel you, I get it, I feel that way a lot of days.
@@AdopteeOutOftheFog Poor you.
Good words man. As someone who suffered from severe depression and suicidal ideations for years the depression cure by Steve illardi really helped me. If anyone is struggling I’d highly recommend getting his book and implementing his lifestyle changes
Awesome. Thank you for sharing that. Glad to hear you found solutions to this.
Bless you dude. Hope all is well.
Thanks my brother 🙏. You as well.
My religion forbids suicide. The second I'm sure this is no longer the case, I'm out of here in a split second. I feel imprisoned in my body, imprisoned on this planet, suffocating among human animals. I hate every passing minute of this breathing burden. You're lucky you found a good woman. Filipinos are sweethearts. Good luck to you.
Sorry you are experiencing this. I wish you find peace and fulfillment and whatever you really want in life. Keep going
Try self hypnosis it feels like being dead. You don’t need to do it. You can visit everyday if you want. It’s like anesthesia. You can even learn to slow your heart rate down until you knockout. That’s what I do now. I can send you the TH-cam link
Life and love are miracles from God each day.
I can relate to you 95%.....
crazy how relatable this was. were you scared of going to therapy at all? I've been putting it off for 16 years.
I wasn’t scared of going to therapy, I wanted answers, I was afraid of being 5150’d, they can do that by law, I was just afraid of not getting normal or functioning ever.
I thought about suicide now for about 20 years if not more...going through some really dark stuff now, not worked for 16years
severe depression and anxiety...tried faith but nothing comes back not sure what to do.
It’s a dark dark place to be, I truly know your feelings, I really hope you find some peace. I really appreciate you reaching out.
what do you do for money? I struggle with work
Pray and wait on Gods timeing-- yr just in a middle of a Strom lately--- many are in the same situation; as we are now living in our last days-- in Timothy 2v3--- read scriptures in yr BIBLE as that will guide you and bring you peace--- please don't give up ; I pray for you in Juses name 🙏 ❤️ Juses is the way 🙏
❤REMEMBER JUSES LOVES YOU; Thank you for reaching out - God Bless
❤SOON THE STORMS ON THIS EARTH WILL BE ALL OVER - JUSES IS COMING BACK SOON --- STAY STRONG-- NO PAIN, NO GLORY AMEN ❤
Happy Hippo doesn't ship to my country. Bummer.
It’s so hard
I see you. It is.
@@AdopteeOutOftheFog feels never ending
david goggins is an entp, you are one too.. you talk about your own experiences; about suffering; about possibilities .. NE is an hard cognitive function to have.. Just saying
I have no fucking idea what you’re talking about but thanks. I’m here to help others, your not, just saying, go jerk off in. Your moms basement pussy
@@AdopteeOutOftheFog look at the ENTP personality type, you will understand a lot from yourself
God is love. God is glorious. God hates sin. Bible prophecies are continuing to be fulfilled. Every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus is Lord.
Idiot😂
God is not love to everyone.
Well the bible preach to kill me soooo? Not for evryone
Lost me at god hates
You dont look white at all..
Latino. What are you talking about?
@@AdopteeOutOftheFog thought you said some shit about being white lmfao my bad
Just subbed, glad I stumbled upon this channel... Watching now
Glad you’re here 🙏
Damn bro sound a lot like myself