I think this whole concept of treating mom dad as gods among teens and early 20s is a part of the pop culture that started in the mid-90s with films like ddlj where a young girl and her boyfriend were celebrated for not standing up to the girl's orthodox and illogical baoji. There were a lot of stupid films like that which became big hits. Good girls and boys were good only when they obeyed harsh and cruel parents, and that was seen as "dharm". The rise of soft Hindutva as cultural currency and glamour. Then came social media and the nonsense of celebrating mother's day and father's day. Again, parents are reinvented by children on social media as gods to get likes and hearts.
Very interesting theory. Not to forget, the saas bahu serials, where the perfect 'bahu' is usually one who will take all the abuse and insults from the elders in the family. And you are so correct...esp the 'iillogical baoji' bit. Oh God!! Was watching the movie after years sometime back, and exactly my thought of the whole drama...
Parents are smart: It was taught to the early parents that they should take the responsibility of a child like a God protects and guides a devotee. But few idiots in society used it to control kids by saying parents are equal to God and that mothers break bones almost dies while giving birth so they are our Gods. They will never agree they have not given us this life to live for our own, they gave us birth like an investment for their old age controlling us as per their needs.
Yeah my father wants me to work in particular job particular location marry particular person even though my choice of work or guy will be good only .since I disobeyed I am considered the worst human in the family and was verbally abused all the time and considered a useless child and I was cursed by both of my parents .
There is a saying that goes, "My children didn't choose to be born. I chose to have children. They owe me nothing. I owe them everything." Parents should remember this before mistreating their children.
The thing is u can never really speak about having toxic parents. People think ur disrespectful. But the trauma we go through having toxic family sucks because it's not really spoken much. Thank you for talking about this Prachi Ma'am
I'm half way into this video. Crying my ass off at 4.30 in the morning under the blanket because this is the first time in 24 years that I've heard someone say what I've always felt and thought. Calling my own parents toxic fills me up with anger and guilt. My friends support me, listen to me, trust me, so much so they hate my father more than i do. But iv never felt so validated in feeling this hatred. Can't say I'm happy. But I'm not feeling like a crazy selfish witch for once. Thank you!
you are not alone...i am a 31 year old guy.....my mom ruined my life....she destroyed me...emotionally and psycologically. she didnot let me mix with other kids and friends right from my preschool days to my 12th. The result is that i could never connect with anyone. i have no friends to speak of...i dont have someone to share my feelings with....i dont why people dont become my friend....maybe she ruined me so much that my nature itself or the way i talk and interact doesn't please anyone....i dont know...i trymy best...even wanna ask a girl why is that they dont wanna talk to me.....i feel miserable...i am not ugly or unattractive....you know she literally stopped me from going to friends places and interact with them, a childhood video of my birthday made me get shocked!!!...she was proudly proclaiming to one of my aunty's how she is dominating my life and she tends to keep me in control, lest i dont care for her after my marriage.....me too depressed.....and crying my heart out....yes men cry too!!....i work and try to keep myself aloof in my job......but weekends feel painful, after work feels painful....i go to theaters and sit alone, i see happy couples...smiling and enjoying their life....i feel depressed..i wonder why did god bring me to this world....i have not caused anyone any misery....i always helped others....why should i suffer.....sometimes i wanna ask a girl what is wrong with me.....i will work my best to improve myself....just dont know why am i alone....cant take it anymore...it hurts!!....
@@zion3335 hey Zion I'm a stranger just going through comments and saw yours I don't know how to react in this situation I am also alone don't know what is happening in my life but we can try to be friends I'm also not much friendly but we can try ... I also need a friend ... You can reply with any of your social media handle I will surely contact you my friend...
Not always. These truly are exceptional cases, but much needed to be talked about since the society hardly allows healthy, validating conversations around these subjects.
I have been beaten up severely by my mother with charger wires when i was in 8th-9th due to involvement with boys and having a bf. I still remember those days so vividly. So now am 19.. and i prefer not to say her anything about my life and thoughts because she will start judging me. I rather tell it to my close friends or write letters to myself which actually helps alot. So yeah thats how i have came in peace with it. I dont talk to my parents about my social life and thoughts.
@@niti470 i hope you are fine now. But this is life unless we move out from their house. I was about to go to college this year but Corona stopped it. So we just need to find ways to keep ourselves safe. Thats just what we can do.
Hey, I'm younger than you and my parents never listen to me and my problems, they just want me to study 24/7. They're quite a lot conservative...Everytime I share my opinions and thoughts to them, they always judge me, criticize me and scold me just because I've different views than theirs. I can't concentrate on anything now. They always vent on me. I'm so sick of crying all the time in my room now...Any advice ?
@@khushi8130 hye pretty soul ❤️ don't worry i totally get how you must be feeling. So what you can do is share all your thoughts with a close friend of yours whom you trust completely and you know that he/she wont judge you for your thoughts rather guide you in where you are going wrong. You can do this and if you don't have any such friend, then be your own friend my love.. write love letters to yourself, encourage yourself, talk to yourself (make sure you dont do this Infront of people). Be your own company in every way possible. I urge you to try this letter technique and let me know if it helped you or not. Pour out everything in those letters and don't write anything lie in these letters. Be true to yourself. And after you feel better burn those letters ok honey ❤️. Keeping those will remind you of the bad times to write and burn... I hope this helps you. Please let me know ❤️
Damn, so true.. I am 32 and I still suffer from PTSD because of my toxic parents.. My parents show every single sign of a toxic parent. Very relatable.
*Just a suggestion... Do try making the video on this topic in Hindi also, So many parents need to see this...This is a story of numerous families in India*
This is so true. When I disagree with my parents even with my relatives, I am always tagged as arrogant and selfish by those relatives. Even during my childhood, due to my dusky tone, I was teased by those relatives, when I react on it, I was labelled as immature child. 🙂
@@shilpachaudhary5930 easy way of ignoring them, is that they project mtlb they say about themselves but blame us, so just think they are just talking about themselves and ofcourse when they are just talking about themselves i just backfire and they keep quiet 😏🤝
The older generations didn’t know any better and always want to project their ways and belief systems onto the younger generations regardless of living in a different culture and expect others to drop their own views/belief systems and pleasing other people.
*This is such a real problem, This happens so frequently in our families and almost 99% times it is taken as a norm. The children go through so much emotional trauma due to this, And the thing you said in the start that if we complain about it to others we are branded as bad children is also very true. I feel this video should get suggested to all the parents out there who need to know their children have feelings, they need to be given their own space, own expression freedom... Many a times we have different worlds in each room of the house we live in, Some rooms have toxic environment and in some rooms we are alone but we feel much happier...*
Chanakya niti says a child till 5 years of age should not be scolded because the child has no knowledge of right and wrong and the parent has to just enjoy the childhood and from 5 -12 years a child should be disciplined and guided . And when a child becomes a teenager the parent need to be their friend still guide them but be their friend
"You can move on from friends, family members and partners without hating them and while praying from them. We can retire roles without creating enemies" Beautiful quote by vex king.
No bro we can't they'll beat us until death yeah I'm talking about my parents and relatives but relatives now haven't that control on me but yeah my dad have
It's one of the most painful experience that one can go through in their lives ..you trusted them blindly and they made you believe that love, loyalty, being vulnerable leads to betrayal ...and at the end you are left with no feelings ...you feel empty, numb and lost .. I went though same experience when I realized that I have been raised in a toxic environment , I let my self grieve, cry and feel every emotion inside me .. I realized that it was always about them and not about me ...I was punished ,abused physically , mentally ,emotionally for just being my self ..for being an imperfect person which we all are ... I am trying hard ,harder than I can to heal my self wholly and completely ..getting over that experience , accepting my self just the way I am , loving my self much , trusting ,and taking responsibility of my happiness so that I may not bleed over people that did not cut me . This process is hard ..very hard ..it's exhausting sometimes . You even feel like giving up .. you feel so confused about your emotions but not giving up is the best kind of self love I can give to myself ...
Some parents interfere even after the children are married. Though they have a beautiful married life. They complain about their children to their spouse, in laws and spoil their child's name. They even say that their children doesnt know how to raise their kids and create sympathy from other relatives and friends (though they have not contributed a day in raising their grand child). Parents dominate even after marriage. People actually dont believe that parents can be toxic and think we are dangerous if we speak about our own parents. Beautiful video Prachi on creating such an awareness video😍😍😍
Exactly! I'm having such an experience. Always being blamed for everything I do. My dad insults me in front of my husband and his family too. So I don't get any respect from anyone. Society is always with parents 😔
I literally cried during this video. I am the neglected child of my family because my bother was into drugs for a long time. Due to that, my parents had to give him more attention and I barely received any. I had to seek attention for outside world due to which I ended up into multiple relationships because my family couldn’t provide that safe environment for me. Luckily, I am an above average student and now I am away from my family in Australia and living life. And to be honest, I have now the healthiest relationship with my parents. :) Toxic parenting exists.
@@harijha7560 my father has managed to pay for my education and the rest of the expenses, I am taking care of them. I am mentioned at the end that now we have the healthiest relationship :)
@@riasabharwal24 you said in your comment that you barely received any attention from parents but don't they supported your abroad education which is very difficult to receive from any parents as it is very expensive and not affordable so you can't deny that fact
@@harijha7560 okay. I appreciate everything they’ve done for me. I didn’t talk about love. I talked about not receiving attention from them. Also, this was the time when I was in 9th standard like 10 years back ? Yeah. That was a hard time and things are much better now.
@ria sorry to know you have been through this. It's hard to be the neglected child and esp when your parents are using all that time and energy for your sibling...it makes you realise how much you have missed out on. Glad that you are away from them now, so you can heal
A lone sane voice in the wilderness. I never realized there are as many toxic parents as compared to normal ones. That is so sad. Parenting life skill classes should be offered as part of the curriculum. Keep up the good work kid.
Not letting you talk on the phone. Not letting you go out with friends. Always trying to know who I am talking to, what I am saying. These days, she doesn't even let me go to our hometown alone... She always wants to go with me, while I used to go alone from a long time. Maybe she is lonely. My dad too doesnt want to go anywhere with her. It's not that she is a bad mom. But as a human being, she hasn't grown much.
True to that.....I tell her I wanna go out with so and so guy or say I have a friend and he's a guy and I laugh alot loud..She keeps saying u can't laugh loud with guy friends ..They think u differently. Not letting me buy whatever I want and if I keep buying she will tell ding spend much
so relatable. Most of all, people won’t open up the toxicity of their parents. We live in a society where children expected to obey their parents and would not accepted by them as they are. Many of them would feel guilty while raising voice to their parents and their(parent) actions are somehow being justified! It’s important for parents to show love and respect to their child. Respect and love, how much we give it, it will return as thousandfold.
13:03 happens all the time. My cousin was about to come n spend her vacations with us. She's 1 year younger to me. She just completed 12th boards n entrance exams. As I had done well in those exams and got into a tier 1 college, she was asking me a lot questions regarding admission process and how did I chose the subject stream and all. Here comes my parents, started saying a whole lot of disrespectful stuff about me like how introvert I am, how it has increased due to lockdown(me being an introvert), how I don't have much friends... In very disrespectful manner in front of my cousin. It was so heartbreaking specially because before she arrived at our home I already told my parents that please don't criticize me in front of her. At least do it after she leaves . But still they didn't care.
Lavender it happens with me as well. There is an elder cousin of mine who is that so called cultured homely girl like indians imagine and my mom criticises me of being extrovert and outspoken she is domestic and docile on the other side and that typical good daughter and sanskari bahu she could be future
Same here.. My mother would often tell me that getting full A plus is not a big deed. You should learn to live..many times before relatives neighbours almost everyone.Its like she belitting my efforts and sacrifices 🤐 As you said it is disrespect The funny part is that my parents were the sole reason for many of my social insecurities Iam trying to get over it but this lockdown phase is eventually haunting me from inside ☹️
@@aparnaakumar9270 I totally get what you're saying... And yes Lockdown making it worse... But at least we have this platform to feel like there are many people like us n we aren't alone.
Physical and mental abuse experienced both. I was depressed in past. It took hell lot of years to gain self confidence.Not everyone understands this.Really needed such video. Atleast to create awareness so that our future generations should not suffer that mental trauma
Is it just me in this channel who has good parents that aren't toxic but still watching this video. But love you Prachi di , you are doing great job to guide the younger generation
I can't stop my tears.. My childhood and teenage was abusive, my mom use to criticize me in front of others like neighbours and all my relatives they always use to think I'm the culprit and mom is the victim. My mom use to treat me very wrong in front of my neighbour kids, When my mom use to beat me and i use to cry these kids and neighbors use to laugh at me, use to make fun of me, these kids use to bully me... Kids who were smaller than me also use to bully me... My mom still provokes me...
I can relate so much to this my mom physically abuses and body shames me I am 15 now she is doing this to me from a very young age and still does it! I have no confidence at all and feels low all the time and because all of this I have self harmed myself many times!!
Dear Snusha Gupta, I am so sorry for what you have been thought. Remember that you are not less worthy if you don't fit this body standards. The standards are toxic and sexist. Don't let these things lower your self- esteem. You are beautiful as you are♥️
This exact same thing has happened to me and I am also the same age, but I hope someday I will move out of this toxic environment and live a happy life ☺️
M 14 and my mom always say that I have a dark skin tone and an ugly face. whereas my bestie say me that m really fair. May be m just too broken now to even care to listen and believe these criticism...
Same. Hi army. and I cried on the thing that my mental health is becoming worse day by day and m just 15 I need to study tho my dad never got agreed with my career they had always been criticising it and that I can't ever achieve that
@@SmileWithPrachi parents who are real strict mostly ends up raising a bad kid, and then they start disliking them not knowing that it’s their fault. And parents who are not toxic and respect or trust their child, mostly ends up raising a really good child. So somewhere its parents who are responsible for their child’s behaviour. Child’s behaviour depends or their parent’s Not completely but 90% it does!
This is what I want to tell parents but can't ...sometimes we have to accept the situation as it is unfortunately we can't always change there mindset at all and it really hurts....the harsh reality...I just wanted to be independent financially and help my parents but without living with them
@@saizsayshi704 I totally disagree with you. I have strict parents and i am so so sensitive that by hearing to someone's pain , my eyes go numb . No, I am definitely not a bad kid because I didn't allow their behaviour impact me.
Read a quote that says " treat your children in such a way that they move out when they are actually ready and not just to escape a traumatic household " that's really TRUE .
This is my parents including my only so called sister... Everything happened to me till I married a toxic man and then leaving him 6 years ago... For 5 months I was jobless and these so called family made my life hell treating me like watcdog. I left them also in 2019 and never looked back. Life is much better then ever... Very touch but not that much toxic ... I m proud for deciding to be childless because I have nothing to give them.
When I was young, My mom used to ask me questions the day before exam and if I'd forget any of the answers she'd hit me with whatever she found. Sometimes it would leave marks on my body and I would study hard due to fear of getting beaten rather than to gain knowledge and pass the exam.
My folks scored 15 on 15. I know my parents are toxic.. but sometimes I would doubt myself.. And I was in self doubt and confused with everything in life. Thank you for this.
My father had me when he was 41. Now he is 64 everything is ok apart from that he neglected me for my whole life ...He neither ask for something nor he supported me ....But it's ok I am 23 🙏 struggling for my career 🥺 My brother used to beat me because he was 9 years elder than me and in 8th standard he beated me because he thought I am characterless because few boys of my colony 🥺🥺now I am so selfish that is really true I am not able to love my family 🙏I feel so sorry about that
Love should not be forced ayushi, it should come from within. But as they are your family just respect them and be grateful for the good things they did to you.
No parent is 100% non toxic. At least in India, every parent compared you to your cousins and siblings. It is especially very hard for the younger siblings when the elder sibling is really good at studies and sports, the younger sibling will 100% be bullied.
@@vatsalsharma2002 kya kar sakte hai yrr wahi to problem hai in toxic parents ..phle baccha paida karli uske puri life bhar usko tana maarte raho .....jese hume is duniya main laake inhine eshaan kiya hai humpe ....hum to apne marji se nhi aye yeh khud laye hame is duniya main .....comparisons krte krte yeh parents kbhi nhi thakte ...ek baar to mere papa ne bola beth ke khilao bas...us din se mere dil se woh log utar hi gaye .....so called society kehti hai maa baap ka rup hoti hai ..ghnta ....khush toxic bhi hote hai
Most parents genuinely do their best to provide their children with a happy and healthy upbringing but this video is an eye opener to know about toxic parenting. A video that needs to be shared 🙌
My mom totally cut of my social life. Even if my girl friends call she get mad at me. And she never allow me to talk more then 2 mins😑 letting me go out is such a big deal evn after me being good kid🙏
I have a narcissistic mother , so when my dad started acting toxic I was about to cut him off., I realize I’m just traumatized and I’m reacting out of pain. “Your parents arnt perfect “ 😓 how could I forget this.
I am grateful that my parents are not toxic at all ..I couldn't relate to any point mentioned ..and best part about my both parents is that they accept their mistakes and wrong opinion ..and are ready to unlearn the things they have been taught in their respective conservative families ..and are always open to new ideas, opinions and things that we(me and my elder bro) tell them about current society..TBH my mother used to judge other girls for having multiple bfs(I have never had one nor now , So she was even more judgemental about others) ...but since I have explained her that it's their life ,they can do whatever they want unless it's's not harming others, she has completely stopped judging others for any reason and there are more examples like this when they had changed their opinion about things after my explanations and facts and I love my parents for that❤ Anyways to the people having toxic parents , Be strong and tell them when they wrong ..
My parents are the samr I feel so guilty for all the times I've acted wrong towards them but as I admit my mistakes they also are bound to change for the better to try and understand me and my siblings as much as they can and I'm forever grateful for it.
That's crazy, in a good way... I wonder if people outside of your family look down on your family because basically you guys take care of each other rather than what they think.
Narcissistic parents 👌my father is the main culprit . Hypocrite and controls everything and plays with my mind. My life has always been unbalanced especially with my carrier , emotions what not.. Everything. Trueee counting bills... It's an Harrasment literally.
Have been thinking this for years and not ready to share with anyone since everyone is potraying them as sacred gods..Of course they are wrong at times. But we are living in a society where just pointing their wrongs is considered as a disrespect nd sin..so glad that you talked ..✌️
This is one of my favs. ❤️ In my experience and understand of the subject matter, the only effective and natural way to deal with this situation is to cut yourself off of the toxic parents, the environment and start living your life. Taking revenge or fighting with the situation is damaging for both ends. Start living your life, choose what is best for you, you might make 100 mistakes but it's still worth living that way.
This channel needs to be supported and needs to reach to many people as can so that the one who's suffering can watch this and know that what all they're going through. Most of the children are not even aware that if they're in a toxic child-parent relationship or not, they just keep going obeying their parents without knowing that how's it affecting them. It's my humble request to everyone to share this video to the one's who are actually suffering and please reach out to them help them🙏
This video made me cry, stopping this video to write this comment. When you said parents are supposed to be a safety net for a child, I grew up with my maternal grandparents, it might sound good as we have an image of grandparents being super supportive etc, but I was in 5th standard at that time, and my parents made me live with them for financial reasons as they say, but my brother lived with them. At that time, they gave the reason that my grandparents are alone, as they have no son, so we need to support them to make sure they have someone to rely on. I just passed 4th std at that time. So the whole childhood, I cried, I was depressed because I had no one to talk to, no one taught me about right and wrong, I was too dependent on my ex-bf who was abusive btw and friends. By the 11th class, around 17 years of age, I was attempting suicide. I have lost track of memories from childhood because it was traumatic and still after all this, I am not a good kid for relatives and family. after all these years, spirituality helped me, I came out of depression after 1st year of my degree and I am still healing from all that I went through. Turned 26 this February, trying to get them to marry me to my boyfriend, who is a super amazing human being and again I am the problem child for everyone! But I am doing good in life, so proud of myself! Now I realise that my parents are amazing, they love me a lot but they couldn’t break that cycle of trauma, so I am breaking it for the next generations to come! Thanks for making me remember how far I have come💛 Love the new series 🌻 gotta live life to the fullest 🦋
Wow this is everything that bothered me since I was a child…I’m now in my 30s and I understand it was not easy for my mum in her childhood and I love my parents..however tears don’t stop when I think of it or I see favoritism shown in another family..this is the trauma I am unable to get over with..I’m married with kids but this is something I don’t think I will ever come out of..I’m pretty sure I won’t be what my parents were to me..this is everything that I wanted to hear from someone …thank you for this
Instead of breaking them. Try to do things you can do that they open up the doors for you. BTW, I'm also in my early twenties. I'm saying this from experience. We do think bad about people who don't go our way. But we don't see the picture from their shoes.
@@gracysingh9983 I don't think they don't exist. I know they exist. It's just that you can't do anything about it. I can only say that it's a privilege in life to have good parents. But good parents can have toxic children too. What can one do about it? It takes a long time to judge someone. It's all about the situations that things happen in. Only when you truly see your own positives and negatives, and can say them out loud. You know you can say sorry when you are wrong, and try not to repeat that in future. That's when I can say that one is ready to judge people. All I can say about you is - You are a diamond. And you know where they are created, right? Just prove it that you are a diamond or one in the process of making. Bad experiences can either make us wise or feel tortured for rest of the life. We have the choice. BTW, I am also a diamond with a privilege to have someone polish it before I started to do it myself.
Prachi di, I always longed to be close to my parents like every kid out there. But when I told them about my relationship they have totally cut down my freedom , my social life, I'm forced to do everything hiding from them but I hate to hide it. But if I do anything that they hate for instance my dress , my bf my friends they will again increase restrictions pls tell me I hate lying to them to be happy and also I cant be happy if I he honest to them . I get extremely anxious to be myself around them always worry about others validation and parents like and dislikes I don't want to be bothered much but I end up feeling guilty . I'm not happy due to all the restrictions I loved my freedom . My brother hates that I lie to my parents but I want to be honest with my parents but everytime I be honest they increase restrictions grow super protective of me. To an extent they don't even leave me alone during my college breaks too. I regret being honest to my parents now. I never imagined they would deal with this truth in such a manner where I am too lonely now to be happy or sad
When I was a child I was badly beaten up by my mother on very small mistakes. But she never used to beat my brother. That thing has filled my mind with so much of poison that I'm 26 now but not a single day I talk to her politely. I fight with her every day now. I don't have even a single percent of love for her.
I never thought my parents were toxic as my father used to slap me and used to compare with others and I got used to it and maybe because I annoy them alot but now I see so much change in my father, consciously making efforts to reduce that I feel different now, recently my father slapped me l totally forgot that but my dad was so lost and felt so bad and he even slapped himself for that though I did not bother that much when he slapped me but after his actions I felt so sorry for him, I think I am close to my Father now than earlier, I think Parents do change. Thanks Prachi Di for always doing something different, I get to learn something different. every time 🙏🙏🙏
Prachi di, I am soooooo sure that you'll the best parent to your child whenever you'll have one 🥺❤️ You just put my heart out in this video I never thought someone can understand me tooo🥺🥺🥺🥺
I just have a one word for u di.. u r more like a weekly therepist for me from past 3 years . Seeing videos from ur this series make me realise and gave me hope. ❤️
So relatable..from childhood , I've been constantly compared to my cousin who is much more matured and intelligent..and now I have extreme low self esteem with no self confidence 💔
The problem is toxic parents are never really held accountable or responsible for their behavior and actions. We can walk away, but the toxic parents don’t really face any consequences. It’s almost as if rules and laws, even Karma, only apply to us and not those who mistreat us.
The problem is that a lot of parents cannot stand the idea that their parenting being imperfect (which is the case with every parent). It is more convenient to accept that a child is at fault every time. Regardless of whether the child is at fault, the solution they come up with is to use whatever means to ensure defiance (or "teenage rebellion") is psychologically inconceivable.
I respect my parents and also thinks that yes they have given me so much. But my father barely talk to me. Most of the tym i have my food in my room only especially when my father is at home. So whenever he sees me in kitchen mostly during dinner time 80% of time he just make a comment that how fat you are( he says with a laugh sharir dekh, kaam kha, jab dekho khati rhti hai, kitni moti hai, sharir khn ja rha hai and all these) and also that wear this that. Just these things he says and nothing else. Whenever i used to get ready for marriages by seeing my new dress he just commented bekar lg rhi and even last tym after my cousin marriage he said that sabse buri dress teri lg rhi thi( all said that the dress vo pretty even my mom). 1 year back i faced my 1st academic failure in my competitive exams and i was broken and then he just laughed and constantly keep saying for few days that fail ho gyi hahahaha , nhi hua then laugh ...for him maybe this was funny but for my till now i remember those days . I barely go out and talk on phone to anyone and whenever he sees me talking on phone then he keeps asking whom upu are talking and after my reply that its my friend he just keeps asking kon hai and calling from inside . Yesterday i was sitting in our balcony and was studying....just sitting outside bceause i was very tensed seeing these 4 walls..he said go inside why are you sitting here. After fews months i m going to apply for a job and that will be in another state and i know he want agree and he will say do here only whatever to want to do ( he will say get a job here) . But i know here is no such opportunities which i want . Don't know how these all will get solved. Bcz of all these my self confidence and self esteem is just so low that everyone says that i don't interact, i don't talk much.
Oh my god that is terrible.he is one toxic man.i completely understand what you are going through. No matter how you look or wat u do they should nt be judging you constantly and causing low self esteem. Time wil come.u get a job and get out of that house and live independently without all these bullshit.
I completely agree with controlling the social life. Now and then I faced issues with friends for being not so open, for being distant, for not being close to anyone. Now I'm 26 and I hardly have any friend that trusts me or me trusting someone. Genuinely I don't have a friend.
Prachi di,Thankyou for being the elder sister we all need. Thankyou for telling me that it's not my fault. Thankyou for telling me I am not the worst. Thankyou for telling me I don't deserve this. Thankyou for talking to us like no one ever did. Thankyou. Thankyou so much. Half of the things they did, I didn't even thought that it wasn't right because it's so normal since my birth. This is the first time I had the courage to write this because I always thought that it's bad to wash dirty linen in public and it's all my fault but after this video I know I need to talk to people about this and that it's not my fault that I am born and I have feelings like a normal human being. Thankyou for being there for us. Thankyou.
Glad I could help you see that you aren't at fault. It's not 'washing dirty linen in public' if you are reaching out for help and support. Having said that, be mindful of who you share your concerns with. Most people will judge you, most people won't give you the validation or support. If it hurts too much, therapy is always a good and safe space to heal.
@@SmileWithPrachi Thankyou so much for replying and yes I will only open up to the people I absolutely feel safe with . Thankyou for being concerned for our mental health like an elder sister. I pray to God may he give all the happiness in the world. Your videos help me a lot. ❤❤
Trust me my parents these days are making me feel as if i am breathing in hell, living in hell.. unworthy thouughts approach me every single moment, but then i chant Hare Krishna and make myself stand again
My parents say parents can never be wrong, the rest of the word wants bad for you. You should judge others and shit like that I think I'm starting to become toxic these days They don't accept me the way I am, I'm a HSP and I've a super bad anxiety. I don't know what to do with my life anymore.
This is very true.. I grew up with 2 complete bullies and they left a deep scar that I am still healing from in my 30s However I would like to point out a few things that I could see 1. This problem is very very very complex. For example, regarding talking to parents about this is futile since what they are doing is completely intentional and they are no way going to let go of this controlling framework 2. Majority of consultants etc are not capable of dealing with this issue. I have had trips to some of those with family and even they come back to 'parents are god' mindset someway during the discussion. One even apologized to me on phone after a session 3. Real damage comes once you starting working. Everybody is fending for themselves and it becomes very difficult for one to adjust to the fast pace of life without any family support moreover since majority don't have such extreme issues. and many more..
Aaditya bharadwaj, exactly my thoughts, I resonated so much with your 3rd points, this country is complete hell-hole , political authorities and society both lost in all morality, corrupted and self-absorbed (not to mention hypocritical), this worsens condition of those caught up in abusive family of origin and nuclear family system worsens it, My extended family would fight with us (children) teaching us to accept and endure abuse without complaint. All my friends came from loving healthy parents and well off family, my father and his family used finances for abusing us always and had absolutely no one in my life to guide or assist me through that kind of condition as a child.
My mother was herself a victim of toxic family and was a unwanted daughter child of her family...so she had gone through way too much of struggles, traumas and insecurities...And she had been projecting all those sufferings on me and my brother since our childhood... There are numerous incidents when we were helpless, beaten up, frozen and traumatized with fear.Things are not normal even today but i keep reminding myself that i will try my best to understand my child when i become a parent..
Di ,My mother especially ,she thinks she is the supreme ,she know the tank of knowledge ,and everytime she compares things in the form of lossing or gaining, since my childhood I was never able to make any friends nicely when they come to our house ,or my mothers meets them ,My mother judge them based on their background ,and try to fill my head with toxic comments..my friend s feel bad , though my friends are good ,and all of has good habit ....but sometimes toh dosto me jhagra hota rehta hein..she listens to our phone call ......and note the points in her mind ...when I feel low or I have little argue with my mother...she leaves personal comments...she never give me and my sister personal space .... sometimes we also throw words which go worse ,which later feels guilt to us .. Sometimes we have suicidal thoughts Prichi di I am 24 yr s old what to do ...plz reply
I'm so confused rn.This video was a great comfort to me.I just don't want myself reminding those things from the past. It's true that you grow up selfish and how you're aware of being selfish but can't do anything about it cause now it's just deep inside you. I don't want to live with them anymore.
toxic parents? thats a pity ,entire society is toxic how can the parents be non-toxic i lived in a society where good people only get pain ,no privilages for men with kindness,i been a kind and good person for my 1 and a half decade all i got was pain,insult, failure ,yea the society sucks
I dnt even have any frnds, she won't even let me have any frnds . Constantly check my phone and delete all the numbers. She thinks all people in world are bad fr me
You correctly worded everything. Not too harsh, not too dim, exactly what the solution should be and covered all the aspects of toxic parenting. It felt good to watch and hear you talking about these problems and solutions. Teenagers find easy to understand you! Thank you.
For everyone who's dealing with difficult parents, I recommend Dr Ramani Durvasula's book called " Don't you know who iam" which is entirely based on difficult people and dealing with them and trust me it will be a jackpot for you 🔥
Aishwarya kulkarni yes so true ! One day I randomly searched on TH-cam how people manipulate because I was sure something is going on and found her medcircle videos ! She is a gem .. and she is saving so many people from this abuse but sad part is people came to know after narc abuse after they themselves went through it !
I suffered triple Talaq and they tried to do Halala. My parents wanted me to do all that. Thankfully I met a Christian guy and converted to chritianity and I'm so happy.
You feel so deeply! Magnifying the things that is often neglected and bringing it up to us so beautifully so that we don't fail to discover our true selves! You're such an amazing human being prachi di ! ❤
That part where u spoke of what being sensitive is like.. i found it completely relatable. I was so scared to show my sensitive side to anyone, even my parents, though they are good parents. They know of me as a stone hearted person who never lets a drop of tear out of her eyes even if hell breaks loose - the exact opposite of what i am inside. I would not say they are not perceptive. Coz that's what I've shown them. I was so insecure of my sensitivity that i would run to restroom if i wanted to cry. My dad used to say tears are the weapon of the weak. So i never let it out infront of people. But Prachi, what u said hit me really hard. You are 💯% right about how perceptive and warm we can be. Thank u for showing me the pros too as i focused only on the cons. I am 29 and it's enlightening
I think this whole concept of treating mom dad as gods among teens and early 20s is a part of the pop culture that started in the mid-90s with films like ddlj where a young girl and her boyfriend were celebrated for not standing up to the girl's orthodox and illogical baoji. There were a lot of stupid films like that which became big hits. Good girls and boys were good only when they obeyed harsh and cruel parents, and that was seen as "dharm". The rise of soft Hindutva as cultural currency and glamour. Then came social media and the nonsense of celebrating mother's day and father's day. Again, parents are reinvented by children on social media as gods to get likes and hearts.
Very interesting theory.
Not to forget, the saas bahu serials, where the perfect 'bahu' is usually one who will take all the abuse and insults from the elders in the family.
And you are so correct...esp the 'iillogical baoji' bit. Oh God!!
Was watching the movie after years sometime back, and exactly my thought of the whole drama...
@@SmileWithPrachi thanks Prachi, sometimes the internet and youtube can become so rewarding.
Parents are smart: It was taught to the early parents that they should take the responsibility of a child like a God protects and guides a devotee. But few idiots in society used it to control kids by saying parents are equal to God and that mothers break bones almost dies while giving birth so they are our Gods. They will never agree they have not given us this life to live for our own, they gave us birth like an investment for their old age controlling us as per their needs.
@@rajlaxmibehera6370 you are 💯 percent right.we are not born in this world just to satisfy them only.
Yeah my father wants me to work in particular job particular location marry particular person even though my choice of work or guy will be good only .since I disobeyed I am considered the worst human in the family and was verbally abused all the time and considered a useless child and I was cursed by both of my parents .
There is a saying that goes, "My children didn't choose to be born. I chose to have children. They owe me nothing. I owe them everything." Parents should remember this before mistreating their children.
That is so true ❤️
Now it has become, I owe you nothing and you owe me everything..
Sadly if we say this in brown households we all know what will happen 😭
Wow !! Excellent !!! 👌👌👌
Golden words.. but very rare to find parents with this understanding.
My whole family is toxic, gonna move out next year, pray for me
Best of luck bestie
u go girl🥳🥳
All the best 💕
Me too moving out soon
@@rubinarai680 all the best bestie
The thing is u can never really speak about having toxic parents. People think ur disrespectful. But the trauma we go through having toxic family sucks because it's not really spoken much. Thank you for talking about this Prachi Ma'am
So so so true , people call us bad child even if we speak something about our parents bad behavior towards us ,
True
"All children deserve parents but not all parents deserve children."
True
I am not agree with you at all I mean both are equal
I understand ruby
I understand it
100 percent true
I'm half way into this video. Crying my ass off at 4.30 in the morning under the blanket because this is the first time in 24 years that I've heard someone say what I've always felt and thought. Calling my own parents toxic fills me up with anger and guilt. My friends support me, listen to me, trust me, so much so they hate my father more than i do. But iv never felt so validated in feeling this hatred. Can't say I'm happy. But I'm not feeling like a crazy selfish witch for once.
Thank you!
you are not alone...i am a 31 year old guy.....my mom ruined my life....she destroyed me...emotionally and psycologically. she didnot let me mix with other kids and friends right from my preschool days to my 12th. The result is that i could never connect with anyone. i have no friends to speak of...i dont have someone to share my feelings with....i dont why people dont become my friend....maybe she ruined me so much that my nature itself or the way i talk and interact doesn't please anyone....i dont know...i trymy best...even wanna ask a girl why is that they dont wanna talk to me.....i feel miserable...i am not ugly or unattractive....you know she literally stopped me from going to friends places and interact with them, a childhood video of my birthday made me get shocked!!!...she was proudly proclaiming to one of my aunty's how she is dominating my life and she tends to keep me in control, lest i dont care for her after my marriage.....me too depressed.....and crying my heart out....yes men cry too!!....i work and try to keep myself aloof in my job......but weekends feel painful, after work feels painful....i go to theaters and sit alone, i see happy couples...smiling and enjoying their life....i feel depressed..i wonder why did god bring me to this world....i have not caused anyone any misery....i always helped others....why should i suffer.....sometimes i wanna ask a girl what is wrong with me.....i will work my best to improve myself....just dont know why am i alone....cant take it anymore...it hurts!!....
@@zion3335 and you are also not alone my mother has done what I can't even explain by typing my father is also narcissistic
@@zion3335 hey Zion I'm a stranger just going through comments and saw yours I don't know how to react in this situation I am also alone don't know what is happening in my life but we can try to be friends I'm also not much friendly but we can try ... I also need a friend ...
You can reply with any of your social media handle I will surely contact you my friend...
you are strong. you will come out of this.
I understand your feelings. This might start your spiritual journey. You're all alone in this endeavor.
Be cautious of connections that feel like home, if home wasn't a safe place for you . - Alex Myles
it's sad to see that even home isn't a safe place to live
Not always. These truly are exceptional cases, but much needed to be talked about since the society hardly allows healthy, validating conversations around these subjects.
Both, Superwowstyle and smile withprachi
Are managed by the same person. RIGHTT?
@@maalinihema_ I was also thinking the same
@@maalinihema_ Yes😅
I have been beaten up severely by my mother with charger wires when i was in 8th-9th due to involvement with boys and having a bf. I still remember those days so vividly. So now am 19.. and i prefer not to say her anything about my life and thoughts because she will start judging me. I rather tell it to my close friends or write letters to myself which actually helps alot. So yeah thats how i have came in peace with it. I dont talk to my parents about my social life and thoughts.
@@niti470 i hope you are fine now. But this is life unless we move out from their house. I was about to go to college this year but Corona stopped it. So we just need to find ways to keep ourselves safe. Thats just what we can do.
@@niti470 thank you and i hope you are safe and happy mentally and physically ❤️
Amulya Sahoo ♥️🙏🏻🤗
Hey, I'm younger than you and my parents never listen to me and my problems, they just want me to study 24/7. They're quite a lot conservative...Everytime I share my opinions and thoughts to them, they always judge me, criticize me and scold me just because I've different views than theirs. I can't concentrate on anything now. They always vent on me. I'm so sick of crying all the time in my room now...Any advice ?
@@khushi8130 hye pretty soul ❤️ don't worry i totally get how you must be feeling. So what you can do is share all your thoughts with a close friend of yours whom you trust completely and you know that he/she wont judge you for your thoughts rather guide you in where you are going wrong. You can do this and if you don't have any such friend, then be your own friend my love.. write love letters to yourself, encourage yourself, talk to yourself (make sure you dont do this Infront of people). Be your own company in every way possible. I urge you to try this letter technique and let me know if it helped you or not. Pour out everything in those letters and don't write anything lie in these letters. Be true to yourself. And after you feel better burn those letters ok honey ❤️. Keeping those will remind you of the bad times to write and burn... I hope this helps you. Please let me know ❤️
Damn, so true.. I am 32 and I still suffer from PTSD because of my toxic parents.. My parents show every single sign of a toxic parent. Very relatable.
*Cptsd
I completely understand.
*Just a suggestion... Do try making the video on this topic in Hindi also, So many parents need to see this...This is a story of numerous families in India*
Please make this in Hindi tooo
I agree...ur videos are damn helpful Prachi and it shud also be made in hindi 🙏 it's a request pls
yes please make this video in hindi too.. please
Yes we need Hindi version of it too..
So many parents needs to hear this.
Agreed
And my parents have all those 15 signs which u mentioned..🤣🤣..still can't leave them cause I'm financially dependent on them😂😂
Even im going though this, so only started working online, and blessed to be finincially independent now 💶
@@myra3992 can you help me too for online jobs pls?
@@Ruby-ps9bo you can serch it in TH-cam ....
@@shock-t3768 yess exactly, you can do freelancing.. even i do the same 🏅
This is not funny...
This is so true. When I disagree with my parents even with my relatives, I am always tagged as arrogant and selfish by those relatives. Even during my childhood, due to my dusky tone, I was teased by those relatives, when I react on it, I was labelled as immature child. 🙂
Actually u r much better than them. Keep going dear 💕💕
your skin tone is pretty. everyone loves milk chocolate so do i. 😉❤️
They even label us as battameez if we tell them they are wrong
@@shilpachaudhary5930 easy way of ignoring them, is that they project mtlb they say about themselves but blame us, so just think they are just talking about themselves and ofcourse when they are just talking about themselves i just backfire and they keep quiet 😏🤝
The older generations didn’t know any better and always want to project their ways and belief systems onto the younger generations regardless of living in a different culture and expect others to drop their own views/belief systems and pleasing other people.
*This is such a real problem, This happens so frequently in our families and almost 99% times it is taken as a norm. The children go through so much emotional trauma due to this, And the thing you said in the start that if we complain about it to others we are branded as bad children is also very true. I feel this video should get suggested to all the parents out there who need to know their children have feelings, they need to be given their own space, own expression freedom... Many a times we have different worlds in each room of the house we live in, Some rooms have toxic environment and in some rooms we are alone but we feel much happier...*
Chanakya niti says a child till 5 years of age should not be scolded because the child has no knowledge of right and wrong and the parent has to just enjoy the childhood and from 5 -12 years a child should be disciplined and guided . And when a child becomes a teenager the parent need to be their friend still guide them but be their friend
"You can move on from friends, family members and partners without hating them and while praying from them. We can retire roles without creating enemies"
Beautiful quote by vex king.
No bro we can't they'll beat us until death yeah I'm talking about my parents and relatives but relatives now haven't that control on me but yeah my dad have
*Can be respectful and disagree with them*
- fact that every parents need to understand!
It's one of the most painful experience that one can go through in their lives ..you trusted them blindly and they made you believe that love, loyalty, being vulnerable leads to betrayal ...and at the end you are left with no feelings ...you feel empty, numb and lost ..
I went though same experience when I realized that I have been raised in a toxic environment , I let my self grieve, cry and feel every emotion inside me ..
I realized that it was always about them and not about me ...I was punished ,abused physically , mentally ,emotionally for just being my self ..for being an imperfect person which we all are ...
I am trying hard ,harder than I can to heal my self wholly and completely ..getting over that experience , accepting my self just the way I am , loving my self much , trusting ,and taking responsibility of my happiness so that I may not bleed over people that did not cut me .
This process is hard ..very hard ..it's exhausting sometimes . You even feel like giving up .. you feel so confused about your emotions but not giving up is the best kind of self love I can give to myself ...
well said...I am also trying very hard
Me too !
Some parents interfere even after the children are married. Though they have a beautiful married life. They complain about their children to their spouse, in laws and spoil their child's name. They even say that their children doesnt know how to raise their kids and create sympathy from other relatives and friends (though they have not contributed a day in raising their grand child). Parents dominate even after marriage. People actually dont believe that parents can be toxic and think we are dangerous if we speak about our own parents. Beautiful video Prachi on creating such an awareness video😍😍😍
This is soo true
Exactly! I'm having such an experience. Always being blamed for everything I do. My dad insults me in front of my husband and his family too. So I don't get any respect from anyone. Society is always with parents 😔
This is soo true .....
@@rachurachu2994 sorry for you
My heart goes with you all😍
This video literally summed up my life of 21 years so far ! 💔
I am so sorry. Hope you are doing well now
😔
And my 20 years of life so far🙂
I literally cried during this video. I am the neglected child of my family because my bother was into drugs for a long time. Due to that, my parents had to give him more attention and I barely received any. I had to seek attention for outside world due to which I ended up into multiple relationships because my family couldn’t provide that safe environment for me. Luckily, I am an above average student and now I am away from my family in Australia and living life. And to be honest, I have now the healthiest relationship with my parents. :)
Toxic parenting exists.
So who manages your abroad education expenses ??
@@harijha7560 my father has managed to pay for my education and the rest of the expenses, I am taking care of them. I am mentioned at the end that now we have the healthiest relationship :)
@@riasabharwal24 you said in your comment that you barely received any attention from parents but don't they supported your abroad education which is very difficult to receive from any parents as it is very expensive and not affordable so you can't deny that fact
@@harijha7560 okay. I appreciate everything they’ve done for me. I didn’t talk about love. I talked about not receiving attention from them. Also, this was the time when I was in 9th standard like 10 years back ? Yeah. That was a hard time and things are much better now.
@ria sorry to know you have been through this. It's hard to be the neglected child and esp when your parents are using all that time and energy for your sibling...it makes you realise how much you have missed out on. Glad that you are away from them now, so you can heal
A lone sane voice in the wilderness. I never realized there are as many toxic parents as compared to normal ones. That is so sad. Parenting life skill classes should be offered as part of the curriculum. Keep up the good work kid.
Thank you for your encouraging comments :)
Not letting you talk on the phone.
Not letting you go out with friends.
Always trying to know who I am talking to, what I am saying.
These days, she doesn't even let me go to our hometown alone... She always wants to go with me, while I used to go alone from a long time. Maybe she is lonely. My dad too doesnt want to go anywhere with her.
It's not that she is a bad mom. But as a human being, she hasn't grown much.
I can relate totally with you
True to that.....I tell her I wanna go out with so and so guy or say I have a friend and he's a guy and I laugh alot loud..She keeps saying u can't laugh loud with guy friends ..They think u differently. Not letting me buy whatever I want and if I keep buying she will tell ding spend much
🙂🙂
I can relate to u
I cried all the time watching this! My father was so toxic and imagine m 36 and still it was so difficult watching this! 😔
so relatable. Most of all, people won’t open up the toxicity of their parents. We live in a society where children expected to obey their parents and would not accepted by them as they are. Many of them would feel guilty while raising voice to their parents and their(parent) actions are somehow being justified!
It’s important for parents to show love and respect to their child. Respect and love, how much we give it, it will return as thousandfold.
13:03 happens all the time. My cousin was about to come n spend her vacations with us. She's 1 year younger to me. She just completed 12th boards n entrance exams. As I had done well in those exams and got into a tier 1 college, she was asking me a lot questions regarding admission process and how did I chose the subject stream and all. Here comes my parents, started saying a whole lot of disrespectful stuff about me like how introvert I am, how it has increased due to lockdown(me being an introvert), how I don't have much friends... In very disrespectful manner in front of my cousin. It was so heartbreaking specially because before she arrived at our home I already told my parents that please don't criticize me in front of her. At least do it after she leaves . But still they didn't care.
Lavender it happens with me as well. There is an elder cousin of mine who is that so called cultured homely girl like indians imagine and my mom criticises me of being extrovert and outspoken she is domestic and docile on the other side and that typical good daughter and sanskari bahu she could be future
Same here..
My mother would often tell me that getting full A plus is not a big deed. You should learn to live..many times before relatives neighbours almost everyone.Its like she belitting my efforts and sacrifices 🤐
As you said it is disrespect
The funny part is that my parents were the sole reason for many of my social insecurities
Iam trying to get over it but this lockdown phase is eventually haunting me from inside ☹️
@@aparnaakumar9270 I totally get what you're saying... And yes Lockdown making it worse... But at least we have this platform to feel like there are many people like us n we aren't alone.
Physical and mental abuse experienced both. I was depressed in past. It took hell lot of years to gain self confidence.Not everyone understands this.Really needed such video. Atleast to create awareness so that our future generations should not suffer that mental trauma
I can relate even as 25 year old adult I am suffering with this..I pray and resolve that I won't do the same with my kids
stay strong
Hi
Is it just me in this channel who has good parents that aren't toxic but still watching this video. But love you Prachi di , you are doing great job to guide the younger generation
Omg I was just thinking about my mom being toxic and this video came out. It's the most perfect timing😭
Same here
My mom is monster dude
Same here
My mom made my life hell when i was young. But now i fight back
@@bishakhadas9436 yeah
I just want to study hard ..move out from my home and live independently
I m also planning same
I sometimes try to correct my parents but my parents and relatives think that I'm not obedient enough because I don't always listen to them..
Relatable
It happens with many
I can feel u girl
Same
I too felt that
Sometimes, people have parents who don't love them. This is almost impossible for most people to understand, but I promise, it's true.
Agree
Your words dont feel harsh anymore coz i am living with toxic parents. Each and every point matches with my parents :)
How do you tolerate
Be strong,live for your self
I can't stop my tears.. My childhood and teenage was abusive, my mom use to criticize me in front of others like neighbours and all my relatives they always use to think I'm the culprit and mom is the victim.
My mom use to treat me very wrong in front of my neighbour kids,
When my mom use to beat me and i use to cry these kids and neighbors use to laugh at me, use to make fun of me, these kids use to bully me... Kids who were smaller than me also use to bully me...
My mom still provokes me...
I can relate so much to this my mom physically abuses and body shames me I am 15 now she is doing this to me from a very young age and still does it! I have no confidence at all and feels low all the time and because all of this I have self harmed myself many times!!
Dear Snusha Gupta, I am so sorry for what you have been thought.
Remember that you are not less worthy if you don't fit this body standards. The standards are toxic and sexist. Don't let these things lower your self- esteem. You are beautiful as you are♥️
Why r u harming yourself? Don't do that.respect and love yourself.
This exact same thing has happened to me and I am also the same age, but I hope someday I will move out of this toxic environment and live a happy life ☺️
M 14 and my mom always say that I have a dark skin tone and an ugly face. whereas my bestie say me that m really fair. May be m just too broken now to even care to listen and believe these criticism...
you are beautiful. don't ever feel bad about yourself. every shape is pretty.
I was in tears while listening to this. I always thought I was the one who is wrong
Same. Hi army. and I cried on the thing that my mental health is becoming worse day by day and m just 15 I need to study tho my dad never got agreed with my career they had always been criticising it and that I can't ever achieve that
There still ways to achieve
same it just made me tear out. I'm still confused if I should leave them or forgive them
I’m 15 right now and I just balled my eyes out
Most of toxic parents have good kids and toxic kids have a good parents
Thats not true at all.
Good parents usually raise happier, well adjusted kids than not.
Such a generalisation 😒
@@SmileWithPrachi parents who are real strict mostly ends up raising a bad kid, and then they start disliking them not knowing that it’s their fault. And parents who are not toxic and respect or trust their child, mostly ends up raising a really good child. So somewhere its parents who are responsible for their child’s behaviour.
Child’s behaviour depends or their parent’s
Not completely but 90% it does!
This is what I want to tell parents but can't ...sometimes we have to accept the situation as it is unfortunately we can't always change there mindset at all and it really hurts....the harsh reality...I just wanted to be independent financially and help my parents but without living with them
@@saizsayshi704
I totally disagree with you.
I have strict parents and i am so so sensitive that by hearing to someone's pain , my eyes go numb .
No, I am definitely not a bad kid because I didn't allow their behaviour impact me.
Read a quote that says " treat your children in such a way that they move out when they are actually ready and not just to escape a traumatic household " that's really TRUE .
This is my parents including my only so called sister...
Everything happened to me till I married a toxic man and then leaving him 6 years ago... For 5 months I was jobless and these so called family made my life hell treating me like watcdog. I left them also in 2019 and never looked back. Life is much better then ever... Very touch but not that much toxic
... I m proud for deciding to be childless because I have nothing to give them.
When I was young, My mom used to ask me questions the day before exam and if I'd forget any of the answers she'd hit me with whatever she found. Sometimes it would leave marks on my body and I would study hard due to fear of getting beaten rather than to gain knowledge and pass the exam.
My folks scored 15 on 15. I know my parents are toxic.. but sometimes I would doubt myself.. And I was in self doubt and confused with everything in life. Thank you for this.
I've had a narcissistic mum my whole life, and I've become immune to her 😶
My father had me when he was 41. Now he is 64 everything is ok apart from that he neglected me for my whole life ...He neither ask for something nor he supported me ....But it's ok I am 23 🙏 struggling for my career 🥺
My brother used to beat me because he was 9 years elder than me and in 8th standard he beated me because he thought I am characterless because few boys of my colony 🥺🥺now I am so selfish that is really true I am not able to love my family 🙏I feel so sorry about that
Love should not be forced ayushi, it should come from within. But as they are your family just respect them and be grateful for the good things they did to you.
@@swecchaaparajitha6283 🙄
No parent is 100% non toxic. At least in India, every parent compared you to your cousins and siblings. It is especially very hard for the younger siblings when the elder sibling is really good at studies and sports, the younger sibling will 100% be bullied.
Dude my parents compares me to the dogs.
They say that "iss se accha to kutta paal dete".It hurts and it is killing me from inside.
@@vatsalsharma2002 same here:)
@@vatsalsharma2002 kya kar sakte hai yrr wahi to problem hai in toxic parents ..phle baccha paida karli uske puri life bhar usko tana maarte raho .....jese hume is duniya main laake inhine eshaan kiya hai humpe ....hum to apne marji se nhi aye yeh khud laye hame is duniya main .....comparisons krte krte yeh parents kbhi nhi thakte ...ek baar to mere papa ne bola beth ke khilao bas...us din se mere dil se woh log utar hi gaye .....so called society kehti hai maa baap ka rup hoti hai ..ghnta ....khush toxic bhi hote hai
Most of parents are toxic.. some are 100% toxic.. in India parents are shown as God... child can't expose due to inferiority
Most parents genuinely do their best to provide their children with a happy and healthy upbringing but this video is an eye opener to know about toxic parenting. A video that needs to be shared 🙌
This entire video is literally summing up how Indian parenting is 🤣🤣
My mom totally cut of my social life. Even if my girl friends call she get mad at me. And she never allow me to talk more then 2 mins😑 letting me go out is such a big deal evn after me being good kid🙏
Prachi didi can give a solution to any bad problems with her graceful nature
You give me too much credit, but thanks :)
Thank you Prachi!!
After seeing approx. 700 comments I know that I m not alone
Parents - a blessing for a child !! But unfortunately ,most of the time , it's a curse.. 🙏
I have a narcissistic mother , so when my dad started acting toxic I was about to cut him off., I realize I’m just traumatized and I’m reacting out of pain. “Your parents arnt perfect “ 😓 how could I forget this.
I am grateful that my parents are not toxic at all ..I couldn't relate to any point mentioned ..and best part about my both parents is that they accept their mistakes and wrong opinion ..and are ready to unlearn the things they have been taught in their respective conservative families ..and are always open to new ideas, opinions and things that we(me and my elder bro) tell them about current society..TBH my mother used to judge other girls for having multiple bfs(I have never had one nor now , So she was even more judgemental about others) ...but since I have explained her that it's their life ,they can do whatever they want unless it's's not harming others, she has completely stopped judging others for any reason and there are more examples like this when they had changed their opinion about things after my explanations and facts and I love my parents for that❤
Anyways to the people having toxic parents , Be strong and tell them when they wrong ..
Lucky
My parents are the samr I feel so guilty for all the times I've acted wrong towards them but as I admit my mistakes they also are bound to change for the better to try and understand me and my siblings as much as they can and I'm forever grateful for it.
That's nice for you! I related to almost every single point here but I'm happy atleast some people don't relate to it :>
That's crazy, in a good way... I wonder if people outside of your family look down on your family because basically you guys take care of each other rather than what they think.
Narcissistic parents 👌my father is the main culprit . Hypocrite and controls everything and plays with my mind. My life has always been unbalanced especially with my carrier , emotions what not.. Everything.
Trueee counting bills... It's an Harrasment literally.
Have been thinking this for years and not ready to share with anyone since everyone is potraying them as sacred gods..Of course they are wrong at times. But we are living in a society where just pointing their wrongs is considered as a disrespect nd sin..so glad that you talked ..✌️
I can't agree more. Nobody can understand the pain of the kids and support!
This is one of my favs. ❤️
In my experience and understand of the subject matter, the only effective and natural way to deal with this situation is to cut yourself off of the toxic parents, the environment and start living your life. Taking revenge or fighting with the situation is damaging for both ends. Start living your life, choose what is best for you, you might make 100 mistakes but it's still worth living that way.
I cried so much when I was watching this😭💖
This channel needs to be supported and needs to reach to many people as can so that the one who's suffering can watch this and know that what all they're going through. Most of the children are not even aware that if they're in a toxic child-parent relationship or not, they just keep going obeying their parents without knowing that how's it affecting them. It's my humble request to everyone to share this video to the one's who are actually suffering and please reach out to them help them🙏
This video made me cry, stopping this video to write this comment. When you said parents are supposed to be a safety net for a child, I grew up with my maternal grandparents, it might sound good as we have an image of grandparents being super supportive etc, but I was in 5th standard at that time, and my parents made me live with them for financial reasons as they say, but my brother lived with them.
At that time, they gave the reason that my grandparents are alone, as they have no son, so we need to support them to make sure they have someone to rely on. I just passed 4th std at that time.
So the whole childhood, I cried, I was depressed because I had no one to talk to, no one taught me about right and wrong, I was too dependent on my ex-bf who was abusive btw and friends. By the 11th class, around 17 years of age, I was attempting suicide.
I have lost track of memories from childhood because it was traumatic and still after all this, I am not a good kid for relatives and family.
after all these years, spirituality helped me, I came out of depression after 1st year of my degree and I am still healing from all that I went through.
Turned 26 this February, trying to get them to marry me to my boyfriend, who is a super amazing human being and again I am the problem child for everyone!
But I am doing good in life, so proud of myself!
Now I realise that my parents are amazing, they love me a lot but they couldn’t break that cycle of trauma, so I am breaking it for the next generations to come!
Thanks for making me remember how far I have come💛 Love the new series 🌻 gotta live life to the fullest 🦋
You sound like such a strong wonderful person, with a lot of potential in you. Good luck :)
@@SmileWithPrachi Thank you so much! Means a lot 🌻
Wow this is everything that bothered me since I was a child…I’m now in my 30s and I understand it was not easy for my mum in her childhood and I love my parents..however tears don’t stop when I think of it or I see favoritism shown in another family..this is the trauma I am unable to get over with..I’m married with kids but this is something I don’t think I will ever come out of..I’m pretty sure I won’t be what my parents were to me..this is everything that I wanted to hear from someone …thank you for this
Please do a part 2 for this topic and also suggest ways how can we break them.
Exactly please prachi di more on this
Yes plz
Instead of breaking them. Try to do things you can do that they open up the doors for you.
BTW, I'm also in my early twenties. I'm saying this from experience. We do think bad about people who don't go our way. But we don't see the picture from their shoes.
@@hiteshsharma5698 lmao as expected a extremely sanskari indian guy who thinks toxic parents doesn't exist
@@gracysingh9983 I don't think they don't exist. I know they exist. It's just that you can't do anything about it.
I can only say that it's a privilege in life to have good parents. But good parents can have toxic children too. What can one do about it?
It takes a long time to judge someone. It's all about the situations that things happen in. Only when you truly see your own positives and negatives, and can say them out loud. You know you can say sorry when you are wrong, and try not to repeat that in future. That's when I can say that one is ready to judge people.
All I can say about you is - You are a diamond. And you know where they are created, right? Just prove it that you are a diamond or one in the process of making.
Bad experiences can either make us wise or feel tortured for rest of the life. We have the choice.
BTW, I am also a diamond with a privilege to have someone polish it before I started to do it myself.
Every child deserves parent but nt every parents deserves a child ..
Prachi di, I always longed to be close to my parents like every kid out there. But when I told them about my relationship they have totally cut down my freedom , my social life, I'm forced to do everything hiding from them but I hate to hide it. But if I do anything that they hate for instance my dress , my bf my friends they will again increase restrictions pls tell me I hate lying to them to be happy and also I cant be happy if I he honest to them . I get extremely anxious to be myself around them always worry about others validation and parents like and dislikes I don't want to be bothered much but I end up feeling guilty . I'm not happy due to all the restrictions I loved my freedom . My brother hates that I lie to my parents but I want to be honest with my parents but everytime I be honest they increase restrictions grow super protective of me. To an extent they don't even leave me alone during my college breaks too. I regret being honest to my parents now. I never imagined they would deal with this truth in such a manner where I am too lonely now to be happy or sad
It feels very worthless when you get criticism on each and every thing you do and get no appreciation on any terms by parents
@@raunak840 hi friend
I actually cried while watching this 🎥 😩 i can feel it...all of it💔
When I was a child I was badly beaten up by my mother on very small mistakes. But she never used to beat my brother. That thing has filled my mind with so much of poison that I'm 26 now but not a single day I talk to her politely. I fight with her every day now. I don't have even a single percent of love for her.
I can totally relate with this . I have toxic parents but I can't change them
I never thought my parents were toxic as my father used to slap me and used to compare with others and I got used to it and maybe because I annoy them alot but now I see so much change in my father, consciously making efforts to reduce that I feel different now, recently my father slapped me l totally forgot that but my dad was so lost and felt so bad and he even slapped himself for that though I did not bother that much when he slapped me but after his actions I felt so sorry for him, I think I am close to my Father now than earlier, I think Parents do change. Thanks Prachi Di for always doing something different, I get to learn something different. every time 🙏🙏🙏
Prachi di, I am soooooo sure that you'll the best parent to your child whenever you'll have one 🥺❤️
You just put my heart out in this video I never thought someone can understand me tooo🥺🥺🥺🥺
I just have a one word for u di.. u r more like a weekly therepist for me from past 3 years . Seeing videos from ur this series make me realise and gave me hope. ❤️
So relatable..from childhood , I've been constantly compared to my cousin who is much more matured and intelligent..and now I have extreme low self esteem with no self confidence 💔
The problem is toxic parents are never really held accountable or responsible for their behavior and actions. We can walk away, but the toxic parents don’t really face any consequences. It’s almost as if rules and laws, even Karma, only apply to us and not those who mistreat us.
How do i get out of this toxic living and toxic people ??? I dont have mental peace at all. I m lost having depression and anxiety 💔💔
The problem is that a lot of parents cannot stand the idea that their parenting being imperfect (which is the case with every parent). It is more convenient to accept that a child is at fault every time. Regardless of whether the child is at fault, the solution they come up with is to use whatever means to ensure defiance (or "teenage rebellion") is psychologically inconceivable.
I respect my parents and also thinks that yes they have given me so much. But my father barely talk to me. Most of the tym i have my food in my room only especially when my father is at home. So whenever he sees me in kitchen mostly during dinner time 80% of time he just make a comment that how fat you are( he says with a laugh sharir dekh, kaam kha, jab dekho khati rhti hai, kitni moti hai, sharir khn ja rha hai and all these) and also that wear this that. Just these things he says and nothing else. Whenever i used to get ready for marriages by seeing my new dress he just commented bekar lg rhi and even last tym after my cousin marriage he said that sabse buri dress teri lg rhi thi( all said that the dress vo pretty even my mom). 1 year back i faced my 1st academic failure in my competitive exams and i was broken and then he just laughed and constantly keep saying for few days that fail ho gyi hahahaha , nhi hua then laugh ...for him maybe this was funny but for my till now i remember those days . I barely go out and talk on phone to anyone and whenever he sees me talking on phone then he keeps asking whom upu are talking and after my reply that its my friend he just keeps asking kon hai and calling from inside . Yesterday i was sitting in our balcony and was studying....just sitting outside bceause i was very tensed seeing these 4 walls..he said go inside why are you sitting here. After fews months i m going to apply for a job and that will be in another state and i know he want agree and he will say do here only whatever to want to do ( he will say get a job here) . But i know here is no such opportunities which i want . Don't know how these all will get solved.
Bcz of all these my self confidence and self esteem is just so low that everyone says that i don't interact, i don't talk much.
Oh my god that is terrible.he is one toxic man.i completely understand what you are going through.
No matter how you look or wat u do they should nt be judging you constantly and causing low self esteem.
Time wil come.u get a job and get out of that house and live independently without all these bullshit.
Lady remember you are very strong & I hope you get what you want.
Get out of their house and move wherever your job takes you. Dont look back. Be bold and mighty forces with come to your aid... Goethe.
I completely agree with controlling the social life.
Now and then I faced issues with friends for being not so open, for being distant, for not being close to anyone. Now I'm 26 and I hardly have any friend that trusts me or me trusting someone. Genuinely I don't have a friend.
Prachi di,Thankyou for being the elder sister we all need. Thankyou for telling me that it's not my fault. Thankyou for telling me I am not the worst. Thankyou for telling me I don't deserve this. Thankyou for talking to us like no one ever did. Thankyou. Thankyou so much. Half of the things they did, I didn't even thought that it wasn't right because it's so normal since my birth. This is the first time I had the courage to write this because I always thought that it's bad to wash dirty linen in public and it's all my fault but after this video I know I need to talk to people about this and that it's not my fault that I am born and I have feelings like a normal human being. Thankyou for being there for us. Thankyou.
Glad I could help you see that you aren't at fault.
It's not 'washing dirty linen in public' if you are reaching out for help and support. Having said that, be mindful of who you share your concerns with. Most people will judge you, most people won't give you the validation or support.
If it hurts too much, therapy is always a good and safe space to heal.
@@SmileWithPrachi Thankyou so much for replying and yes I will only open up to the people I absolutely feel safe with . Thankyou for being concerned for our mental health like an elder sister. I pray to God may he give all the happiness in the world. Your videos help me a lot. ❤❤
Trust me my parents these days are making me feel as if i am breathing in hell, living in hell.. unworthy thouughts approach me every single moment, but then i chant Hare Krishna and make myself stand again
I don't want to be a toxic parent but i feel guilty blaming my parents 😭😭😭😭😭😭
My parents say parents can never be wrong, the rest of the word wants bad for you.
You should judge others and shit like that
I think I'm starting to become toxic these days
They don't accept me the way I am, I'm a HSP and I've a super bad anxiety.
I don't know what to do with my life anymore.
Hii!
Can we be friends?
@@raunak840 Sure.
@@khushi8130
Tele?
Snap?
Insta?
prachi's child would be the luckiest
Whenever my mom compares me to to others, I just ask her if she's okay to exchange me for them. Works for me always.
This is very true.. I grew up with 2 complete bullies and they left a deep scar that I am still healing from in my 30s
However I would like to point out a few things that I could see
1. This problem is very very very complex. For example, regarding talking to parents about this is futile since what they are doing is completely intentional and they are no way going to let go of this controlling framework
2. Majority of consultants etc are not capable of dealing with this issue. I have had trips to some of those with family and even they come back to 'parents are god' mindset someway during the discussion. One even apologized to me on phone after a session
3. Real damage comes once you starting working. Everybody is fending for themselves and it becomes very difficult for one to adjust to the fast pace of life without any family support moreover since majority don't have such extreme issues.
and many more..
Sir , I hope you are doing good & god bless you
Harsh reality of Indian society 😭
Aaditya bharadwaj, exactly my thoughts, I resonated so much with your 3rd points, this country is complete hell-hole , political authorities and society both lost in all morality, corrupted and self-absorbed (not to mention hypocritical), this worsens condition of those caught up in abusive family of origin and nuclear family system worsens it, My extended family would fight with us (children) teaching us to accept and endure abuse without complaint. All my friends came from loving healthy parents and well off family, my father and his family used finances for abusing us always and had absolutely no one in my life to guide or assist me through that kind of condition as a child.
My mother was herself a victim of toxic family and was a unwanted daughter child of her family...so she had gone through way too much of struggles, traumas and insecurities...And she had been projecting all those sufferings on me and my brother since our childhood...
There are numerous incidents when we were helpless, beaten up, frozen and traumatized with fear.Things are not normal even today but i keep reminding myself that i will try my best to understand my child when i become a parent..
Hi dear, you are not alone
Di ,My mother especially ,she thinks she is the supreme ,she know the tank of knowledge ,and everytime she compares things in the form of lossing or gaining, since my childhood I was never able to make any friends nicely when they come to our house ,or my mothers meets them ,My mother judge them based on their background ,and try to fill my head with toxic comments..my friend s feel bad , though my friends are good ,and all of has good habit ....but sometimes toh dosto me jhagra hota rehta hein..she listens to our phone call ......and note the points in her mind ...when I feel low or I have little argue with my mother...she leaves personal comments...she never give me and my sister personal space .... sometimes we also throw words which go worse ,which later feels guilt to us .. Sometimes we have suicidal thoughts
Prichi di I am 24 yr s old what to do ...plz reply
I'm so confused rn.This video was a great comfort to me.I just don't want myself reminding those things from the past. It's true that you grow up selfish and how you're aware of being selfish but can't do anything about it cause now it's just deep inside you. I don't want to live with them anymore.
toxic parents? thats a pity ,entire society is toxic how can the parents be non-toxic
i lived in a society where good people only get pain ,no privilages for men with kindness,i been a kind and good person for my 1 and a half decade all i got was pain,insult, failure ,yea the society sucks
I understand bro true that .... We gotta be strong n independent
I knew my family was toxic but everytime i come across i just realize how bad it is
I like how she talks frankly about the real world and what REALLY happens. We all need a reality check sometimes
Every child deserves a good parent but every parent does not deserve a good child.
My mom dnt even let me to go out of home, and dnt even letting me get a job . So much of harrasment. I'm a 27 yr old girl 😑
Please take a job. It's your career, you want to be a respected independent individual right?
Yea, I really need to be independent now, I just stay in this home. I'm preparing for sm exams and hopefully I will clear exam in this attempt.
I dnt even have any frnds, she won't even let me have any frnds . Constantly check my phone and delete all the numbers. She thinks all people in world are bad fr me
@@anushreep8318 same here sister.
You correctly worded everything. Not too harsh, not too dim, exactly what the solution should be and covered all the aspects of toxic parenting. It felt good to watch and hear you talking about these problems and solutions. Teenagers find easy to understand you! Thank you.
Prachi, Kudos !!! You have been brutally honest and brilliant . Each and every line that you spoke here, resonated !
It's scary that I can relate to every bit of these points!
For everyone who's dealing with difficult parents, I recommend Dr Ramani Durvasula's book called " Don't you know who iam" which is entirely based on difficult people and dealing with them and trust me it will be a jackpot for you 🔥
Thank you, I hope it will help me to deal with my toxic parents...Just ordered this book on audible
@@manalibhalerao1269 am glad I could help you ❤️🤗
Dr Ramani's video helped me a lot when I was going through narcissistic abuse !
@@niti470 she truly is a blessing for people going through narcissistic abuse
Aishwarya kulkarni yes so true ! One day I randomly searched on TH-cam how people manipulate because I was sure something is going on and found her medcircle videos ! She is a gem .. and she is saving so many people from this abuse but sad part is people came to know after narc abuse after they themselves went through it !
I suffered triple Talaq and they tried to do Halala. My parents wanted me to do all that. Thankfully I met a Christian guy and converted to chritianity and I'm so happy.
You feel so deeply! Magnifying the things that is often neglected and bringing it up to us so beautifully so that we don't fail to discover our true selves! You're such an amazing human being prachi di ! ❤
The problem is you can't say no to them because you are dependent on them ..It's the worst thing even worse than being without parents
I can't stop tears from my eyes while watching this vedio 70-80% of the vedio relates
That part where u spoke of what being sensitive is like.. i found it completely relatable. I was so scared to show my sensitive side to anyone, even my parents, though they are good parents. They know of me as a stone hearted person who never lets a drop of tear out of her eyes even if hell breaks loose - the exact opposite of what i am inside. I would not say they are not perceptive. Coz that's what I've shown them. I was so insecure of my sensitivity that i would run to restroom if i wanted to cry. My dad used to say tears are the weapon of the weak. So i never let it out infront of people. But Prachi, what u said hit me really hard. You are 💯% right about how perceptive and warm we can be. Thank u for showing me the pros too as i focused only on the cons. I am 29 and it's enlightening