Indian Daughters, It's Time to Stop Living for Your Parents
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 ก.ย. 2024
- As Indian women, if we want to be happy and fulfilled, we must stop living for our parents and start living for ourselves.
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The most important point is indian parents would never believe that depression exists!
And the unfortunately many of the community suffer with high-functioning depression - those who mask it well, like my dad I believe. They can’t hide it for very longer though because the younger generation are too aware.
Lol , so true
Exac
True
They don't believe in mental health unless it's something to do with them
I wanted to live in Chennai , wanted to learn tamil language , generate relations with local people , wanted to have a small 2BHK with my small dog and cat , wanted to earn more money , wanted to join a yoga class for my fitness, wanted to decorate my own bought home with furnitures and decor items , wanted to witness the marina beach evey weekend , wanted to learn more skills , arts , and technologies , wanted to have my own saving, investment accounts, wanted to have my health insurance, driving license, and after 10-15 years wanted to get retired with huge amount of money in my bank account, and start teaching in a school , wanted to visit rameshwaram every third month, wanted to marry a tamil person , have single child girl, wanted to journal my life, wanted to have a peaceful beautiful happy family, and wanted to deliver all my life experiences with my girl child. At the end stage of my life I wanted to die with satisfaction and peace.
I hope u.... Get what u want....... I read whole comment.. It so good
.... One day i will buy my own house in good city..... In name plate of my house I will write it down.... Ye mera ghar hai....
Thank you so much for making us feel we matter and our feelings matter and we're not alone...
I have not watched your video but I really like you title
"filial piety" has its roots too deep 😔
Yesterday my mom said after you finish this animation concept art bulshit dream job and become a boring illustrator graphic designer and ui designer because my friend said that animation and game company pay low and I never seen my friends kids got a job in animation and games so i said to her do you ever waist your life believing what others say than listening to your own child so in a positive way ignored her did my job happily
“We have sacrificed so much for you” This is the iconic dialogue
Because they do (unnecessarily) and then remind you of what they have done for you (even though you didn’t ask for them to be so extreme)
They do..no doubt. As a child we must take care of them especially in their old age. But they blackmail to get things done according to their wishes is very very wrong!!
My answer for this question would be : if you don't wanted to sacrifices, then why did you give birth to me😂
Like they didnt have sex and just had us by chance so they call it SACRIFICE rather than LOVE
Exactly
(between parents & children) "no contact" should be allowed socially & legally !! society should stop shaming n making d child feel guilty for going away from parents !!
Yes.. Every other conversation I have with my parents makes me so hurt and I just want to be away from them so I can heal... But they make me feel guilty and I don't know how can I get out
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m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10154520999183489&id=655648488
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True ..parents torture first then they try to gain sympathy
@@richagupta834 thank you so much, please subscribe my channel to give me your support 🙏🏻 !!
@@richagupta834 they dont realise our value when we are there
I hate controling parents 😭😭😭😭
Same here
Me too
I want someone who can help me for leaving home
@@hindipart what is ur age ? By the way i also want 2 leave my mom bcoz she is 2much controlling me i hate her this is her phone my age is now 12 💔
@@madhabibanerjee545 hey me too even I want to leave my house my mom n dad both r controlling age 19
It is so sick to even say that i can't even smile simply or while watching a funny video. My parents think it in a bad way and ask "whom are you talking in the phone"? . This feeling is the worst.
Update: Guys moving out is the best decision you could ever take. It has helped me so much.
Same here... This is over interference. Especially parents do it with girl child.
@@mahiaggarwal6286 naah I'm a boy and my mom also rages in anger when she observes that I'm smiling while looking at my phone. Then in reply I says that it shouldn't bother even if I'm talking to a girl then we have 30 mins arguments proving each other wrong and then in the end I have to apologise
Oh my God I experience the exact same thing!
I can't even talk to my friends on the phone
@haadyah same
I want to be free ....make mistakes.... learn ..move forward ....spend some time alone...share some happy moments with friends and family....and dedicate my life to become an artist😊😊
Wow thanks for sharing. Why is it so damn hard to.
Yes we are over the patriarchy, the guilt and shame filled live experiences, we've had. Im done.
@@parikaamma IS THIS NORMAL PARENT BEHAVIOUR?
hello, guys, i was sleeeping in another room and guess wht happened when i wokeupppmy parents freaking went thru MY ROOM and REAGGARANGED EVERYTHING AND THREW AWAY stuff without tellling me cuz i was sleeping idk wht to do anymore they literally destroyed my WHOLE ROOMi wanna runaway now tbh no privacy anymore...
they threw away my clothes i fucking hate them idk wht to do ...
they did a deep cleaning and threw away stuff i cant even rememberrr wht was where anymoree ughh
i m so irritated rn
but we r supposed to move in AUGUST but these dumbasses r already after my room ugh
my mom even STOLE some of my fucking clothes wtfffffffstuff i got as gifts :/
the locks of my doors are broken by them,they even took away the AC remote from my room annd being a pakistani female makes it whole lot worse i feel sucidal might throw myself off the terrace someday ngl ....
@@aena5995 I want to tell you want to want to hear, but I can only say what you need to (if I’m talking to my past self)
Protect your peace and heart by starting to let go of trying to control them or be understood by them. STOP. It is damn hard to and will take time, but you are stronger than the situation. The pain is wanting them to change, it’s the feeling of being neglected and mistreated. It’s horrible. We make it worse by keep thinking they will give us what deep inside we want. They won’t. The quicker we give love to ourselves and say how damn strong we are everyday and still standing and doing life, the better.
The only way generational trauma will stop is if we feel the pain of it, if we really see it with our own eyes so we don’t repeat it. This is just a stage in your long, love-filled, a rich winding road of life. Me and my sisters have been thrown out of the house, humiliated, controlled obsessively, disrespected, guilt tripped and guess what I’m still here and all those emotions get processed and your cries for love do get healed. 💚 it was long lol but could be longer. Anyway peace ✌🏽
Do it girl 👍
Me: i m going to share this video with my parents
Me: no..its better to avoid conflict again
🤣🤣
Was literally crying on the fact,u made me smile 🤗🤗🤗
@@kumud7563 happy to make you smile☺
Its beyter to have a conflict or discussion today rather than guilt in future.
Bcoz no matter to trash your head against rock they are never going to understand our view point rather it will be said that we never understand them.
Omg EXACTLY same thought
there should be a trend in india, that girls/boys leave their parental homes once their age is 18+ !! it is the only solution to end caste system, misogyny & patriarchy !!
I don't think it will ever happen. If it happened then there may be a protest on it because how and who parents will control
Bro most of the parents won't do that because to then we are their retirement plan, it's understandable but it's stupid. What's more worse about Indian parents is we have to be just like the other engineering sheep who show off like they have cracked inter dimension space travel. Also Indian parents just ignore mental health, they think it's nothing. This is the reason why many kids don't want to live with their parents because they are control freaks.
@@Anonymous-iv1ne how do u feel when ur own parents ruined ur health, skin, hair, eyesight, career, all relations & everything !! & then u will have to give 25 thousand rupees every month to them only !!
Last year, The Ministry for Social Justice and Empowerment prepared a draft of the Amendment Bill expanding the definition of children, which currently refers to only biological children and grandchildren, to include daughter-in-law and son-in-law, and also adopted and/or stepchildren.
The Ministry’s draft Bill also extended the definition of maintenance beyond merely the provision of food, clothing, housing, and healthcare, and to include “safety and security” of the parent.
The draft allowed senior citizens to approach a Maintenance Tribunal in case their children neglected them or refused to maintain them.
indianexpress.com/article/explained/explained-why-the-elderly-could-soon-get-more-money-from-their-children-6150323/
@Yash Patil it is actually other way round, people get married around 20 due to force of parents, then they can't think about business or startups, they can't think about further studies or development, they r suppressed by family responsibilities, a girl & boy can't live together without marriage, they can't think anything positive or progressive, the way steve jobs (apple owner) had supportive girlfriend, but indian people r dying all the time for nonsense, secure government job !!
the only way is to educate the next generation, that is the ultimate solution tbh
I respect my parents and i love them very much, but sometimes their old mindset and ways of doing stuff it gets to a point where it makes me deeply sad and i can only think of wanting to leave and live by myself, im 22.
Me too in the same stage...and leaving to living by our own is the best and right thing to do NOW!
You’re old enough to navigate by yourself now. I feel like a burden on my parents and will most probably be living on my own in a few years.
Indian women are shamed into having children and men are looked at as pathetic if they dont have children or "ONLY" 1 child in most Asian/Middle Eastern/African families.
Same situation… just want to go away and live alone but there no income source for me 😢
@@Tee-vibes Me to but let do it together if you are interested
u can never change selfish,cruel, narcissistic parents for their lifetime, narcissism is not at all curable, "no contact" with parents is only the remedy !!
Is it possible to separate by only toxic father...??
@@chiranjeevimc5253 yes, if ur non-toxic mother takes divorce from your father.
My parents want to supress me badly they want me to do house hold chores but my brother is free enough from these Nd they want to control me badly they don't allow me to go anywhere now am 18 wht should I do in this condition
@@prernasharma4098 leave home !! i live in ahmedabad, gujarat, india n if any girl/woman needs shelter/support/company, my house gate is always open !!
Plz comment below ur city n give helping hands to each other, bcoz only unity of girls can end patriarchy !!
& please subscribe my channel to give me your support 🙏🏻 !!
@@mansipatel1 Do you have toxic parents??
Hey, just wants know all the people in the comment section. Can we all be wrong about our parents behavior? No right. As a single child, I feel like I am manipulated all the time and even if I share my emotion to them, according to them it's nothing. It's just a glitch.
@THE MAULANA stfu I don't want to hear that "when you grow up you'll understand" shit. THAT IS NOT HOW A PARENT IS SUPPOSED TO BEHAVE. Your life is yours only, and you should do what you love. Trust me, I have controlling tyrants for parents and I cannot wait to leave this house.
@@vaibhaviarappatha6067 Exactly, parents can be evil as well. People who don't have toxic parents are scared to accept how dark reality can be.
Lmao she/he deleted the comment
YES YES YES to the emotional glitch!!!
My dad actually cares about me feelings but my ma gets offended if I breathe to loud lmao
Can you make a video about indian parent's obsession with marriage?
its super annoying
True. They don't let you date..fall in love..and then force to settle with a man of their choice.
@@jyotsana4266 Then pressurize them to have kids.
@@snigdhasingh5139 literally one of the worst things about Indian parents I hate this place so much
i'm an Indian in america and i'm terrified about getting an arranged marriage. idk if that will happen, but it could. i don't want to marry someone i don't know, my father is abusive and he had to marry my mother. and they hate each other and my father hates me. just because i'm the daughter. idk what to do, i'm almost 18
I sometimes feel like I need to disappear from this world because of my parents
This is 2021 ,but parents never think how we children's get hurt
Same
Nooo you have to be stronger than that ❤️ this life you were given is all for you to live according to your wishes. Your parents are just obstacles that you will overcome.
So true...
Ss I am only 12 yrs old girl and they r controlling me . Not only my parents . My brother , my grandmother r also controlling me .
Everybody says " my life my rules"
But for me it's " the life given by parents , my family's rule" 😔.
@@tnarmyjinhit5149 i have to say one thing respecting parents is a good thing and we must do but parents can't destroy a child's dream that's the point
Don't sacrifice your life for others
I came back here again to listen to this after 6 months. Thanks for your message, value it!. I turned 35 and am unmarried. You hit the nail on the head when you said all we experience through our life is conditional love.
As a woman, I am condemned, criticised, belittled and have to bear with my parents' rage every other week because I am not able to land a husband yet. Otherwise, they love me. Sometimes they go to the length of saying We are showing you the mirror (basically stating I am pathetic because I am unmarried) because they love me.
It's a huge psychological struggle for me to get back to normal and get back up from being verbally hit after those calls from home.
I would love to hear your thoughts on surviving as a single Indian woman in her 30s!
The other aspect to this equation is Indian men. Since I turned 33, Indian men aren't pursuing me for marriage anymore (may be something related to producing kids) but I still get offers for going with the flow, casual relationships, hook ups from them, which pains me. I wish I wasn't born to be judged or stereotyped by everyone.
It's just a struggle at every level.
Gurl being an Indian independent woman is REAL TOUGH.... only a few can be this strong don't worry not all men are dogs may be most of us Indian men are but chiill enjoy the every second of ur life ignoring what other say about you .... Do always what u think is right we don't need to be that stereotypical lady like our mums... Love from another sister 💝💝💝💝
@@satuti5993 just always always always be financially strong so you don't have to bag for a shelter from ur parents ... that's the only n only key to go most of us indian girls r nothing more but just an financial burden on family that no one wants to carry so they let us go in the name of holding their pride in the society.... even if your whole family thrashes you n force u to get married BECAUSE an unmarried women is nothing but an burden on family .... So don't b one of them be independent it will b tough but you'd save YOUR pride.
Appreciate the kindness @anjali
Lemon spring: i am a male and lived with toxic parents and i know this totallly inside out. I am 41 now, never married. I faced a lot of insult, narcissism from my parents for marriage. Now they are dead and i feel free and fresh to start looking for smbody for marriage. I dont want children too. If you are interested we can i initiate a contact and lets see where things go.
I feel you. My mental health is deteriorating day by day bcoz of my family members. And they think, if I can make them unhappy by being selfish, it’s ok for me to feel unhappy because of their mental torture. What a thinking. I have mentally gone too far from being anywhere close to my parents. I sometimes feel like giving up and settle for an idiot. But then I realize, Its loosing my life Vs loosing peace of mind for few more years. Then they will stop torturing or else I stop talking to them😅 One of this will happen for sure!
You just described toxic parenting without putting a label on it. I relate to this so much and I'm not even Indian; I'm just the daughter of immigrant parents with the same mindset as yours.
Some black parents do this to im going threw it
Its actually getting tougher as being a girl teen in India's middle family , I'm a girl teen , I want to pursue my dreams as a singer and now tell me one thing doesn't a bird pushes her child away so that he can learn to fly ,,,,,,,, if animals can do that why can't my parents ?.......they are having a mindset of how a girl would live her life even before she is born , oh gawdddd being graduate , getting a job then getting married and then taking care of the household , oh wow this is the best life a girl can live , according to my family . Wow ,,,,,,, Education is a base not everything !!!!!!!!
Please follow your dream . Rebel against them .l am also a teenage girl (south Indian) in a #middle class family .
I also want to be a singer and songwriter but my mom have manipulated and scared me so much that I can't even tell her.
Did you just put my story into words?
I think parents really need some training before having a child .
They must know that child is an individual and has right to make his/her decisions.
Totally agree
in USA, children can legally give divorce to their parents, in india also we should be able to do the same !! anyone should be allowed to be "orphan" legally !!
So true. I am in the US, a US citizen but still mentally tortured and controlled by parents in India v
@@1sr0 ya, please subscribe my channel to give me your support 🙏🏻 !!
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@@1sr0 aapko kaisa lgta he, jb aapke sge ma-bap ne aapki health, skin, hair, all relations, career sb ku6 barbad kia ho !! & fir aapko unko hi hr mahine 25hjar dene pdenge !!
Last year, The Ministry for Social Justice and Empowerment prepared a draft of the Amendment Bill expanding the definition of children, which currently refers to only biological children and grandchildren, to include daughter-in-law and son-in-law, and also adopted and/or stepchildren.
The Ministry’s draft Bill also extended the definition of maintenance beyond merely the provision of food, clothing, housing, and healthcare, and to include “safety and security” of the parent.
The draft allowed senior citizens to approach a Maintenance Tribunal in case their children neglected them or refused to maintain them.
indianexpress.com/article/explained/explained-why-the-elderly-could-soon-get-more-money-from-their-children-6150323/
@Despascito 1 ya dear !!
I can’t believe someone dared to talk about the most sensitive issue here. You can’t point out any mistakes south Asian parents make. You get guilt tripped if you try to live for yourself. Kudos to you for bringing this up.
No adult talk about it ever because they never understand how we feel
It is actually becoming a loop. Where the controlling mindset is being passed from one generation to another.
so true.. really hope our generation put an end to the constant loop
I hope I won’t be like this as a parent.
I hope the loop ends forever and the next generation doesn't have to face this turmoil
Such videos spread awareness, I hope everyone our age gets to see this and make an informed choice about how they want to parent if they decide to become parents.
It’s so annoying how we’re expected to do all the chores and dress nicely in our own homes because “it’s preparing us for life after marriage” and boys could just sit and chill and don’t have to do a thing😒like wtf this isn’t the 16th century! Someone needs to give all desi parents a big wake up call🙄
True! That create so much anger and hate in our hearts. Its just so unfair. And saddest thing is when I see men not acknowledging it and always making excuses for their privilege
Exactly, my bro doesn't even know how to cook maggi properly, my family is forcing me to learn cooking and household work everyday...Yk why ? Because I'm a *girl*, sasural jaakar kya khilaungi in-laws ko ? Sasural jakar jhadu pauncha kaisa lagaungi ? They don't even let me wear the clothes of my choice and I can't be friends with guys too...
They keep talking about my marriage as if I'm only born for getting married. "Beta aage jaakar adjust karna padega, chahe jitna bhi kamae tu"..."Beta tereko tere pati ki sunni padegi bade hokar"...."Beta sasural mein sabko khush rakhna" (people pleasing) I've lost my individuality now.😥
I'm in my early teens and I'm super worried about my future life. They try to control every aspect of my life even my choices and interests!
I'm worried that when I grow old, I'll never be able to do what I always wanted to. They say after marriage, you just have to do household work, I always to wanted to live a proper life where I could do whatever I want, hang out with my friends and discover world but I guess my world is just gonna be too small forever 😫
@@khushi8130 yea that sounds really hard, do you have any aunties that add to the fire
@@minyoongi7005 My grandparents are there to do that job, they're so conservative omg I can't even express their regressive thinking in words. They'll never let me talk even with a 'guy', and even when I'm talking to my friends (female) on phone, they'll say "beta itni baat mat kar phone pe, sasural jakar gharwalo se itni lambi baat karegi na to sasural walo ko pasand nahi aayega". And yes, they're super racist, sexist and ageist.
I dont think there's any point of living anymore when I can't even live my life the way I want. The aim of life is just to get married (according to my family)
I am 23, working as a software engineer , financially independent and love my parents more than anything. But they always wanted me to do a govt job rather than doing a private job. And i am not at all interested. Even though i always tried by best to meet their expectation they are never happy enough. i almost broke up with my bf, bcoz they did not liked that guy, i always ended up canceling my trips just bocz they didn't felt it safe, although it was safe. But the only thing i love is my Work but they r not at all happy about it. They always demotivate me. even today we had a huge discussion/argument and i am in a very bad mood now.
Ask yourself will you be happy after 50 years that you lived your according to your parents decision cause you love them??
@@ghosiazainab4908 u r right..yours life is yours to live..what ever u do...u have to face or bear the consequences..not them...live the way u want...not according to them.. trust me they are nevr happy with anything we do..unless we listen nd follow them..then we are the best..atleat it is like this for me...
Hello dear. I hope you’re doing good now..
I’m dealing with a same situation.. Please if you get time can you connect with me on Instagram @sushmita_artco I would love to talk to you
Really wanted to say. I asked my mother multiple times that I want her in a new environment as I really felt depressed and alone in a big city as bangalore. She denied of leaving home. I came back to my native place, hopefully got a govt job. Now, they are comparing the salaries of their friends children to mine and also doctors, engineers etc etc. They wanted me to be a doctor, honestly I tried, but I had trouble living with other room mates so my effort went more into syncing with the environment and I used to get bad thoughts repeatedly and sad all the time. Couldn't became a doctor and this is 8 years ago. They want me to marry a doctor. I don't want it. Obsessed with a profession, my mother. Every moment of unappreciation, not wanting me, no acknowledgement. Nothing.
Every single is relatable to me .. it's the words I had in my heart written by someone else
Actually, Indian parents main expectation that their daughter get married and have children.
Please don't get affected because it is reality(I am a boy).
Also,indian parents would not let thier children have love marriage and instead would tell you to marry some guy or girl that you barely know
Exactly. I'm Colombian and it's so sad for me.
My ex boyfriend is an Indian boy. An we had to break up because his family doesn't accept me just because of my religion.
And he just let them decide his life. I can't understand that. I love him but what can I do to fight against a society like that?
@@kathealvarez1746 ap apne ex bf ko call karke bolo chalo vag jaya
Exactly..this mentality exists
In my case, my mom told me not to get married until I got a job. But the problem was there was only one job they wanted me to do. And that's DOCTOR. Like they don't realise that there are more to do in your career and your life than just blindly following a path which gives you double money. But I had enough and said no. Now they hate whatever I do that it reached a point that I donot care anymore.
When we meet our parents expectations, we get love but when don't, we get recommended, that line actually hit me hard. Till now I thought that my loved me unconditionally and there are things that they the right to disagree on but still they should give their child the freedom and still be happy and that's what you call unconditional love
i just realized too, that my parents only truly take care of and show me their love when i excel at absolutely everything. otherwise i'm treated like i'm not human. i have to earn their love, otherwise it's not there and i'm alone.
True .
My Mother is also like this.. I want to go on a world tour once in my life and whenever I talk about it she always try to guilt trip me by saying.. Yes yes go away leave us alone here.. Who will take care of us... We r alone... Blah blah... But always talk about one day u have to get married and have to leave and when I say I don't want to get married I want to earn lots of money. She says I'm a greedy person.. And girls HAVE to get married one day and will start blabbering about one of her friend who also didn't wanted to get married but got married first... I was like WTF I'm not her..
As a male who is the oldest I was expected to head the family business & be this ambassador type figure behind the dad. I had my own plans which i fulfilled but at a gigantic cost. I was singled out humiliated time and again in their environment. The parents created sibling divisions which were crippling. Eventually I left & never returned. It has been more than five years since I last saw the parents & I’ve never been happier. I went for my Sovereignty & got it. Reinvent myself. The parents tried to get in contact but I refused to play their toxic game knowing from experience where this was going. I cut myself of completely from everyone family cousins. It was absolutely worth it. They are toxic narcissistic people who trade love.
No Name, 💯% true bout d selfish, opposing, cursing & arrogant indian parents & also joint-families as they r devils 😈 in human forms (never-ever d selfless, supporting, praying & humble parents or loved-ones as they r gods 😇 in human forms), same problem with me controlling me unnecessarily despite me graciously being financially independent, d only difference is that u have left & I haven't when I wanted 2, but I'm being stopped due 2 my financial deficit...
No Name ...I left too. They kept humiliating me and my spouse every chance they got. They don’t allow their sons to be men and their daughters are seems as objects not humans. They keep trying to contact me and when I don’t give in. They say I was better off dead rather than being independent of them. They also sent a Private investigator to spy on me due to which I had to move. Do you think I should change my name ?
@@tanjhdois837 u need 2 change ur place, not name. If ur parents r humble, loving & empowering u then just take care of them not follow their cravings. As far as spy's concerned & if ur parents r arrogant, hating & controlling, call d police get him arrested, speak out straight & bold 2 ur parents that u ain't their daughter anymore & relationship's over, then b financially independent & change ur city right away.
Zayn Shah thanks for that advice. They are definitely parents that have physically and mr tally abused me. Not at all supportive. M’y spouse is shocked by their behavior and doesn’t understand why they won’t just let me go. They have no desire to love me so why keep me. And it can be tough explaining that to people. On thé outside i am financially independent and have a great home and car and spouse. Speaking to actual people is hard. Like the video says we are already marginalized and hate to play into it.
I support you no name...l though l.was alone ...but l share a same.story like you..
Note: This video was only for those who have really controlling parents.
That's the best anybody could ever tell a girl.. More and more power to you 💓💓💓💓
Upto age 25 Indian women live for their parents and after 25, Indian women live for their husband parents ! This is true story of every south Asian girl!
A girl should be bold and financially independent so that she can manage both and herself well.
@@jyotsana4266 I wish it was that simple for every girl out here
@@jyotsana4266 Not all girls are bold. Ever since girls are born they are made to believe that only and they follow it. As it is always said charity begins at home. Girls are very much emotionally attached to their parents that they obey them.
@@pa4760 it's never easy. I am a girl myself and I have experienced things at home. It took me long and a lot of sacrifices to make a decision. I love my parents despite experiencing the toxicity at home. But for my mental wellbeing I did this. I love them more from distance than I can in the toxicity. I anyway wish you all the best for your future.
@@otakuneet5467 work bloody hard to be financially independent..get that degree..do a course..master a skill..do a freelancing..eventually life opens up opportunities. Just don't give up. Ever!!! No matter how hard it becomes. Remember if you don't work hard on yourself..you will always be stuck.
The reason I want to be separated is because they always control me in every thing even they don't let me go outside, they don't allow me to ride bicycle and I need to ask for their approval to buy or wear something. I want to move out, I know I would face financial problems but atleast I could be happier stronger, independent, productive, and most important thing I can have freedom
I'm in the similar situation. Can we connect ?
They won't let you even become financially independent so that they can maintain that control over you
Its just so terrible
Hi Ritu. Great video ! As an indian man yes the challenges are different but trust me it isn’t any better . We are actually prevented from being men instead expected to be boys for the rest of our lives . The damage it does is immeasurable in my opinion . I’m happy you showed the courage to speak about it . I’m actually doing everything u just mentioned in your video and life is much better now . More power to u 👍
I just heard today that ''As long as you're living under my roof you have to stay under my feet and do whatever i tell you to''
Sometimes i just wanna run away because i cant stay in this toxic place anymore
Same here
Same old dialogue by parents.
Each and everything house hold says the same dialogue
I’m from India and I’m 14, living with my parents is a nightmare.
My Mom yells at me so much she makes me cry almost 24/7.
What can I do?
I dont anyone to talk to.
Same , my life is a living hell my parents are so damn , they always compare me to others I hate it
@@demon69694 same 😞
@@mandeepbishnoi6116 so that I compared them with my friend's parents so they shut their mouth and went
Don’t take stress.. study well and find a good job or open a business and move on in your life....
@@Saleneverse424 but what, if they do not let you study as we are study from their money not own money
it should be illegal to write/speak "ALL mothers/fathers love their children".
All bloody WhatsApp and Facebook msgs which made them to take their kids for granted at any age.
@@quietgirlinthecorner3684 yes, u r so right, please subscribe my channel to give me your support !!
@@quietgirlinthecorner3684 so truee IS THIS NORMAL PARENT BEHAVIOUR?
hello, guys, i was sleeeping in another room and guess wht happened when i wokeupppmy parents freaking went thru MY ROOM and REAGGARANGED EVERYTHING AND THREW AWAY stuff without tellling me cuz i was sleeping idk wht to do anymore they literally destroyed my WHOLE ROOMi wanna runaway now tbh no privacy anymore...
they threw away my clothes i fucking hate them idk wht to do ...
they did a deep cleaning and threw away stuff i cant even rememberrr wht was where anymoree ughh
i m so irritated rn
but we r supposed to move in AUGUST but these dumbasses r already after my room ugh
my mom even STOLE some of my fucking clothes wtfffffffstuff i got as gifts :/
the locks of my doors are broken by them,they even took away the AC remote from my room annd being a pakistani female makes it whole lot worse i feel sucidal might throw myself off the terrace someday ngl ....
@@aena5995 The fck...are your parents even mentally stable lmao
We should make a quora page on this...the teenage rebellion...let's overthrow the ruled of those fat shtty 45+ year olds...
I misread it and thought the title said "Stop living with your parents".
I read "stop lying to your parents" i guess we see what we wanna see : )
I saw 'stop living with your parents' too
@@wayunderrated9337 maybe you're right
We should do that too
Yeah wish we could
My parents fight everyday continuously I cannot tolerate this anymore please can u help me I cannot handle the toxicity and mentally abuse and verbal abuse please do something please
Who do you think it's more wrong in your family your mama or papa
@@WebDevAnjali both of them ma'am
Same here dear
@@manikaur6278 hey mani what should we do in this situation mani is there a life for us beyond this , are we ever destined to be happy , why can't we have a normal life mani😞😢😔
@@adissadi that's a horrible way to live. I can understand what you are going through. You can do one thing shut off in your own room with headphones on when they are fighting and work hard to move out of your house as soon as you can. For that you require to study hard and get you life together first. These things are shaping u to become the best possible version of yourself and the attitude you have while dealing with this situation will help you a lot in your future life. Trust me there will be better and best days ahead of you so work hard now so you can enjoy later.
We have dominating parental society..where parents think whatever they r thinking nd doing with our lyf it's perfect nad we have to do all that as parent wishes otherwise they will be mentally torture u and at the end if u fail after the hard work then also u failed not they bcs they r always perfect...all r human all have mind why indian parents forces us their thoughts...
IS THIS NORMAL PARENT BEHAVIOUR?
hello, guys, i was sleeeping in another room and guess wht happened when i wokeupppmy parents freaking went thru MY ROOM and REAGGARANGED EVERYTHING AND THREW AWAY stuff without tellling me cuz i was sleeping idk wht to do anymore they literally destroyed my WHOLE ROOMi wanna runaway now tbh no privacy anymore...
they threw away my clothes i fucking hate them idk wht to do ...
they did a deep cleaning and threw away stuff i cant even rememberrr wht was where anymoree ughh
i m so irritated rn
but we r supposed to move in AUGUST but these dumbasses r already after my room ugh
my mom even STOLE some of my fucking clothes wtfffffffstuff i got as gifts :/
the locks of my doors are broken by them,they even took away the AC remote from my room annd being a pakistani female makes it whole lot worse i feel sucidal might throw myself off the terrace someday ngl ....
Like many other women in the comments mentioned,even I feel that financial independence is extremely important for any woman because that's the only way that's left for us to breathe freely. But what I feel is that emotional independence should always come first.
I've been a quite emotionally independent girl since my early teens which is why I was never trapped in guilt or shame and whatever the world tried to put me through just for existing as a female.
I have always been a very focused lady and I know most women aren't able to do this because of all the social conditioning ‐ but we can have independent minds if we push ourselves into doing it. It does come with a lot of pain but I'm ready to face it for my freedom,mental peace and happiness.
Some nights I do wish that I had someone's support but I guess my fight has to continue - alone.. More power to all the strong women struggling every second but still having a smile on their faces.
Thank u ....it's the best comment i have read today....u really gave me motivation tht i m not alone in this cruel World...there r others like fighting..... Thank u for nice post
This must be shown in schools.
Well said. We need UNCONDITIONAL LOVE from our parents otherwise what will be the difference b/w our parents and any other random person ???
I am in a relationship and told my parents without hiding. It's been an year I'm waiting for their decision. I'm 25 now and they are still arguing with me that this relationship won't work out because my bf doesn't have a govt job and he isn't handsome enough to them. Scolded me a lot and blamed themselves for sending me to NIT. 1 yr I tried convincing them. Now it's more than an year and things got worsened last month as they discovered some of my chats. My dad verbally abused me which led me to complete depression and a stage of utter hopelessness. I shut myself inside my room. Today it's been 43 days, still in my room without speaking to anyone, without getting out and my poor mom brings me breakfast and lunch to my room (no dinner 😑). I'm that drained and devastated. It's true that Indian parents doesn't even know that that depression exists.
m 30 my parents r never ok with bf m all ... so m unmarried in arrange marriage u dont get good guys also
how are you doing now
hey u just need to be in a secret relationship get a job and be idependent then u can marry ur bf. u just need to be independent don't depend on ur parents
It's true...I didn't know I could have a separate identity that isn't validated by my parents, or generally by the society...it feels criminal to disobey parents, because they spend their entire careers and lives living for us...but at the same time, it doesn't feel right logically to waste everything I've done up till now either, you know...We're taught about truth seeking, Buddha, and feminine by education and movies but society is just the opposite...I wonder why when so many people are able to change, parents are the only ones who refuse to see the change, or even look for it?
People are conditioned from their childhood to believe what's wrong and what's right. They don't even get to decide their own rights and wrongs. And when somebody finally questions the misogyny and all that shit in society, people are like conditioned to turn towards them. Almost making the other person feel like they did something wrong even when what they did was absolutely right. It sucks honestly.
As an Indian girl from middle class family, I try to express my views and opinions in most of the stuff even if the stuff doens't include me. And I think that's best for me. I make my stand clear in my family. And express my true dreams and how I want my life to be with my parents. it's hard I know but hang in there everyone, let's put an end to this whole thing. It's eating us all alive.. Always please express your stand clearly guys.. I avoid some really controversial topics like religion to prevent them turning against me. I wish you all good luck.
Follow your heart always and quoting BTS- "Don't be trapped in someone else's dream"
There's no denying the bias when you have a brother 😒
Can we connect
@@Toysandcolorhindi sure
@@sakshiag0506 your telegram?
@@Toysandcolorhindi do u have Instagram?
I know that this is an old video but I just cannot take the emotional torture, demands, threats from my parents (Indian) anymore. My life has been pure hell for as long as I remember. I cannot take it anymore. Now it is ‘death bed’ threats ... we are dying so you must do this before we die. Pure torture😣
Try to get detached from your parents. It may hurt them but you see,if you didn't do this,you'll hurt and suffer all your life
Get a job even if it pays less, then if you save enough, leave.
Yeah death threats are so common. All guilt trips are related to their age, health and mortality.
I am quite young and, even though I am not entirely sure, I think I might have depression. When I told my mom that, she was acting as if I told her that I was mentally unstable and gone forever. So my immediate response was to break down in tears. She started to tell me to shut up and then started to choke me. I kept yelling at her to stop, but she kept yelling for me to quietin down. Eventually I started screaming and she pressed down even harder. I didn't want to talk to her anymore after my dad broke us apart, even though he blamed me for the drama. After the fight, she came and manipulated me again into thinking I was wrong, because apparently there was nothing that could have caused me to become that way. She took my phone away and said that I was getting depressed simply because I read something about depression. During the fight, I had told her I wish I was already an adult so that I can escape this stupid household and I really hope I can after like another decade
You can try to live life on your own. You will soon find out that the world is much more cruel than your parents. Indian parents love their children unlike Western parents who kick them out when they turn 18. Maybe yours is an isolated case.
My abusive dad's 42 and u r a lot mature than him
This is such an important issue. Parent pleasing creates behaviour patterns that define the rest of your life...and the results can be devastating.
I'm a Muslim and my age is 22. I work at an mnc . I have a lot of aspirations in my life. My mother yet controls me ,she won't let me meet my friends, can't even get a haircut, decides my wardrobe, always blabbers religious stuff,only for a reason that she can find good alliance for me. The society in here india,most of them ,Muslims families expect a daughter in law whose work is to take care of in laws and husband and children. They must do the work without uttering a word,not allowed to meet their parents or friends or can't even go to shopping alone.The teaching given to a male is to control his better half if she raises her voice over a topic. My question to them is do you want a daughter in law or a maid? What is the use of all that education and hardwork if at last have to compromise everything.Why is everyone controlling us ? Parents prior to marriage, then inlaws after marriage. Why is there no value to our lives as a woman? I did raise my voice against this ,I got a resounding answer that it is not in our culture. It is a basic freedom that we deserve is my point. There are people who still say that a women's place is confined to the four walls of kitchen. My opinion is that there is no fixed place for anyone. Responsibilities must be dealt equally between two partners.
Find a way to liberate yourself. The culture is misogynistic. You have a right to live the life you choose!
@@gravityclarity i find no way,one is live the way I want to,starting fresh in a new city or a new country but that would break all alies with my family. It then leads to solitude,new challenges of sort like who to trust, how to ask help ,where to stay.
And also explaining these things to them is futile,they say 'its not in our culture ' but fail to understand that people are different.
@@Alex-rg7mb it all comes down to whether or not you're willing to pay the price for freedom. I know it's not easy. You will likely lose something no matter what decision you make. I hope things eventually work out for you.
As I watched the video, I could observe how uncomfortable and exhaustive it is to approach this topic. Even in daily life, it is very difficult to make people understand our side of story without giving long drawn explanations. We feel guilty about owning our story when we open up to others. There is constant shaming for speaking up about toxicity and abuse within family. I am so thankful for this video and calling a spade a spade. ❤️
Also to all unloved daughters, sisters n children, may you find all wonderful things you deserve. You are enough and amazing. You are all that you need ❤️🤩❤️. Hugs and strength to you all.
I think it's high time that people of every gender, age, religion, caste or ethnicity should understand the importance of human being whether men or women, since in case of women, they have to face a lot of things due to the conservative mindset of our country's people and I think 🤔, everyone should consider the other person as a normal human being and should allow them to do whatever they want and also don't control anyone unless he/she is hurting someone, rest just take care of yourself and be brave, strong and I wish all of you to have a GREAT MENTAL HEALTH & HAPPINESS.
First off I can’t believe she was 40 in this video lol. She looks amazing!! Next.... I can imagine my dad watching this, not taking in a single word she just said, and thinking it’s such a selfish and bad mindset when most decisions that he’s made in his life were of his own accord. And the thing is MANY of those decisions put our family in worse places but he’s still satisfied because he had the freedom to make those decisions and learn for himself. My mom is another story. She would also disagree with this video but that’s because she has years and years of unprocessed feelings and trauma, she’s internalized the sexist aspects of our society, and she never learned the skills to stand up for herself.
I had been dating a girl for quite some time now, and her mother is not okay with me a being her daughter's choice. They have not even met me once but they somehow think that I am not suitable to their daughter. Today my girl said we have to split because her mother is not okay with me. My heart breaks, but I feel so powerless that I can't control what's outside of me. I can only cry and heal.
If I ever have kids,I'm going to make sure my daughters never feel the insecurities that I feel as a teen girl and my sons don't have the typical Indian mindset that a woman needs to give up her identity if she gets married!
good thing i live in London where women leave home at 18 and get to be free
Woww
@Veronica Smth Culture evolve . No country is lost cause . Yeah indian culture is bad but there was no gender equality in west 100 years ago . As manufacturing jobs are growing in india , women will become more independent .
@Veronica Smth First of all culture also resolve around economics . GDP per capita of india in 2050 will be around 20000 dollar per capita or more . As job opportunities grow indiduality also grows . It's a step by step process . LGBTQ acceptance in india society will even be lower around 2050 but women independence will certainly increase monumentally . Even if LGBTQ marriage will be legal acceptance will be lower just like east asian countries. It's very hard in our society.
After 20-30 yrs this will also happen in india bcz older generation will be get replaced by newer and here is very huge generation gap, so things will gonna change drastically
I just wanted to share something so that my heart doesn't hurt. Today my dad said that I don't have common sense and I don't know how to talk to people. I try everything in my power. I try to cook dinner at night and like do all the work and also study but it's just hurtful when I hear those words. I just want him to talk not so hurtful things.
ps:- I'm just 18
Hi...i know how hurtful it is to hear such words from your dad that too when you're just 18....I'm 23 even I feel that I'm being taken for granted or whatever I do is never enough even when I do my best to be of help...Please don't overwork yourself to prove things to everyone. As an 18 yr old you must be in bachelors now....just plan your career ahead before 20 and everything will change with your own money.....trust me...😊
Can we connect?
Sometimes some parents are so full of themselves that they try to hurt your dignity so they can control you more easily or they do this because only their way of thinking is right for them. My mother also says this to me when I try to tell her how that belief is a superstition. She will say that Meri baaton ka koi sr per nhi hota koi sense nhi hoti jbki vo esi baaton ko manti h jinka koi sr per nhi h. I hope this helps you. You are just too young and if that's how you feel it might be simply because of how you feel in your family.
Most indian girls can't even cut their hair to the length they want without permission of their parents.
Even my friends. even was like that. But I cut my hair short. I liked it. My dad didn't. But I love it short so hey I am happy.
And at end of day I have take care of my hair. So I get to choose the length
I was born in a typical middle class indian family.. they told me that my birth was accidental and they thought i was a boy before birth. after my birth, when i turned out as a girl, my family was very disappointed with me(especially my dad). I also have an elder brother whom they love so much.. they take very good care of him ignoring me and my needs meanwhile. My father used to care my brother so much and ignore me like im invisible or something. when i was 10, we invited our relatives and friends to our place to have fun and then one uncle asked my dad who's more intelligent among both of us(me and my brother) and my dad undoubtedly told that his son is intelligent and i'm dim.. i was so embarrassed.. i used to study well and they never recognized what i was capable of doing.. all my relatives preached me how i should be more like my brother.. my parents never used to allow me to talk to my friends, go to their places... my brother used to go out and have fun.. they never allowed me to go on school/college tours.. i used to cry all alone everyday at nights.. they invested so much on my brothers studies.. they used to buy him branded clothes and for me, they never used to buy me anything even on my birthdays or festivals.. today, im a working women still staying with my parents, tranfering all the money that i recieve every month while my brother spends money lavishly
You're such a strong woman ‐ thank you for sharing your story. It was never your fault and I know it really does scar permanently when your family doesn't acknowledge you just because of your gender since I come from a similar background but trust you deserve so much more.
Guilt is the reason for most of us women not being able to take charge of our lives and live for ourselves but once we get rid of the guilt,life gets easier.
I wish you all the best for your life and I'm so proud of you for hanging in there despite all this. You are not alone..
O m g......same as my story except I wasn't born accidentally..😞 i remember my mother scolded my and left me alone when I was in periods for the first time when I was asking her to bring me a sanitary pad...it was pretty much embarrassing and disheartened.... she always roam around my younger brother and my father also....I live like an unwanted person in my home...i generally live alone in my room talking to nobody whereas my brother enjoys everything....food branded clothes, watches,bikes, going on trips any all the love from his and my so called parents...i am always afraid to even ask smthing from them because I never know how will they react in the very next moment...they usually scold me almost everytime about nothing.😞
I need you to move out of home and go no contact dear
I know this is an old comment. But I think you should leave that toxic environment and spend ur hard earned money on your own well being. Women should love themselves in the first place.
@@khushbooarya7204 How old are you?
My parents don’t let me go out with friends or sisters alone. They are still living in 90s.
It's even worse when you have a disability and they don't even understand how hard it is for you to do things. They will constantly compare you to other kids and make you feel worthless. No matter how much you try to do for them, they will never be proud of you. For them nothing is ever enough.
This was heavy. I lost too many opportunities just so that I don’t lose the bare minimum love I get from them.
Nothing else comforted me other than these comments here. I'm so frustrated and depressed right now I can't explain it in words. I'm relieved I'm not the only one suffering from this toxicity.
My parents tell me to get married next year according to my so-called astrology and I'm 23 now but I want to fulfill my dream I want to go to the Canada for MS. And my astrology says I'm arrogant and needs to humble myself why?! Why!? Why!? "because being arrogant is being rude to others where as being humble is being rude to yourself" stop telling woman that she needs to humble herself, are men so insecure of empowering women's? Anyways Im not like them and I don't want to be like them. It's my life it's my choice. I have the right, who are they to control me and my actions just because they've given birth doesn't mean they have the right to do anything they wish with me. Im human not a thing. Even a dog and cat get's to live their life as they want why not me?
I'll do what I want no matter what and prove them and that astrology, wrong. I get's to make decisions of my life I get to make me happy no matter what.
I never get it why Indian parents are so keen to get their daughters married off to some stranger men when their age cross 25, I mean what's wrong if she is trying to just create a life for herself and become stable and in due course choose a partner for herself. Afterall it's her life
I am not an Indian but married to an Indian man. I very much understand what you are talking about here and about how collectivist culture is. I also understand the awesome courage it takes to speak this kind of truth.
You rock! Keep on the path. The world needs people to dare to cultivate such self awareness and courage to face reality.
The who we be friends with bit was so relatable to me. My mom hates my friends. And this has been for all these years. I am 20. Imagine how many friends i've changed? How many people I've met. She thinks i should be friends with "nice" girls. I want out of this jail goddamn it. At this point? I can just comment here. I can do nothing else. Yep i know you're thinking that these are "negative" words. But trust me, i've done ALL the positive thinking. Nothing worked out. Toxic parents all the way.
Can you do a video on your relationship experiences? I’m currently dating a white guy who wants to go into the millitary and I’m a Punjabi girl and I’m afraid of how long my parents will control my life and prevent me from falling in love and I’m 22 years old and almost done with college.
And if your family doesn't accept your relationship? What would you do?
Hey neha, i am facing similar kinda situation
Hey
I am 18 and I live in India. I fell in love with a guy who’s also 18. He’s a white guy from New Zealand, and he’s moving here to India to be with me. We plan on telling my parents that we’re in love with each other and ask my parents if it’s okay for him to live with us until he finishes his university. But I’m scared to tell them that. I’m scared...what if they force me to stop seeing him. What if they disown me? And what if they stop supporting my education financially? Though my parents are educated people and I love them, they’re not the most open minded people I’ve seen. Any advices or suggestions on what to do?
@@praneethamadala7159 You are just 18 hun. Get yourself financially independent first. Complete education. Once you are in your own..you can take a wise decision. Your parents might support ad well:)
your struggles matches mine too...and whom i choose to love m parents don't accept him and also rejects me...when i told them that this is your conditional love for me....i trued to choose the career they put me in but i never ever can make them happy...and in my life there is not only rejection from my family because i love someone from other caste or not rich enough to please them....there is physical abuse too....so i decided to ran way from my parents home and get the freedom of loving the man and marry him...but every time i thought about that i feel that i broke their heart but what wrong i did i really don't know.......its really tough......and the irony of my life is....my parents got an inter caste love marriage and my dad was not rich like my mom's family on that point ........m grand parents accept them...well the are no more now....so i am clueless why the hell they are angry with me doing the sme thing they did...my dad say because we are in rural are so...society don't accept these things(love)....although i realize that no one cares...
Literally no one cares no one society is there only to Spit on you n make talks behind your back... Society is shit so we better start living for our self never for the society.... N you know what our PARENTS are the party of such society too so...
How can your father do that?😡
I’m in the same situation. My father was married to a black woman before he married my mom. He has 2 daughters with her, who I was always taught were my sisters no matter their color/race. (He eventually divorced my mom too btw.) Now everyone is so mad that I want to marry a black man. They say I’m ruining the culture & their reputation. They are all hypocrites.
What to do if Ur own parents threaten to disown me .if they tell that if my job colleagues bullied me it was my fault ..if they keep on digging my past which I have shared to them coz they asked me to n now m jobless ..if m beaten up at age of 28 for choosing a boy whom I want to marry but need to wait to marry him then what to do ..if I dnt HV financial stability no job now ..I too have dreams but everytime I try to fly m reminded more Iwhat I can't ...
Try to get whatever job you can on however less pay. Itll help in the future, then bluff and pass time if your parents want any thing like marriage etc. When you save enough money you can leave. If they threaten you, you can lodge a complaint.
It good to have dream but more important is to work hard for your dreams ... Stay strong get a job be financially independent .... This is really the key believe me once you'll be able to live on your own no-one can force you to live according to them not even your parents.
In latino's families, it's the same struggle. My solution was to leave the country and move another one very far away. But thanks to the technology, they keep trying to control me. Thanks for the video
Conditional love is not true love. It makes the child only a means to an end - only a trophy to brag about to their friends. The secret that I think a lot of ppl in these comments know is that you have to liberate yourself by accepting your parents are selfish and they live for the world (manmukh). Treat their praise for you and their ill wishes for you with the same disregard. Focus your energy on God, who is your only real parent.... If you start to feel emotional attachment to them again, ask yourself if you were abused, would you feel safe telling them about it? If you were miserable in your marriage, would they tell you to leave him or tell you to think about your reputation? They care about their reputation more than you.
Thank you for this message! It was really the right time for me to hear it today. I am highly pressurised by my parents to marry. Needed to get centred and stronger.
Thank you so much for speaking out about this! I've been recently sharing this message informally with others as well. I'm a 30 year old Indian male, and as you mentioned it certainly applies to men as well. I had so much stress and anxiety in my career in Finance and quit without a plan. During that self reflection process I realized how much my career was dictated by the wishes of my parents, and the realized how much they were focused on family image and their children being an extension of themselves. As you said, there are many great things to celebrate about Indian culture, but I believe in every word you said and you've inspired me to continue to be vocal about this!
whos all got emotionally blackmailed , got beaten up , and threatened by parents for marriage and career , i literally scared to get even get married , 😔😑😔😟
You do not look 42! I could never have guessed. Thank you for this empowering video! ✨
कुछ लोग oldage homes की बदनामी करते हैं, कि देश में oldage homes होने से देश की संस्कृति खराब हो गई, पर ऐसा नहीं है, देश में अच्छे oldage homes होना जरूरी है, जो मां-बाप घर में रहना चाहे वह घर में रहे, जो आश्रम में रहना चाहे वह आश्रम में रहे, मैं तो हमेशा अनाथ आश्रम में रहना चाहती थी, मुझे घर में रहना ही नहीं था, पर बच्चों को तो इतनी फ्रीडम भी नहीं मिलती, उनको जबरजस्ती assaultive मां-बाप के साथ रहना पड़ता है, मां-बाप को तो सब आजादी है, पैसा और जायदाद बच्चों को नहीं देना तो मत दो।
Wow
@@manikaur6278 thank you, please subscribe my channel to give me your support 🙏🏻 !!
Aaap kaha rahta ho
my life is ruined because of a desi wife who couldn't let go of her parents nonsense culture.
it's actual parent worship.. it's definitely part of the culture
Please take her to counsel or get her to see what she is missing out on. She is doing what my mother did for decades. Suffered herself and my dad suffered too.
Ur video is totally relatable to my life as am Muslim women and wanting to be independent in my life I wana move out life my life on my terms.. Hopefully... Soon enough il be my own and will achieve my dream
Don't get married then
Hi guys I am 15 years old and from India and my parents are abusive they always tell u can't be successful in life 🥺 help me guys I am in depression . I feel like leaving my house now 😭
How can I contact you.
Thank you Ritu! This is such an important conversation and we need more voices!
Indian parents unknowingly raise their daughters in such a way that even if they want to live like their true authentic selves they feel guilty about it that am I doing wrong with my parents for choosing my happiness over their choices and without a doubt unfortunately most of the Indian girls end up giving up on their happiness and desires and that makes it so sad I wish there could be more people who are flexible in their thinking and they let their daughters live and let them decide who they wanna be and who they want to show up as. The world would be a happier place 🙃
Especially, if a girl have an elder brother, it's more difficult to survive. And so called brother is too controlling, abusive, over interfering, possessive, narcissistic.
Parents atleast have a bit of affection for their child but elder brother dont feel much, sibling don't have much unity but still he have the rights in his hands to interfere in our life.
@@mahiaggarwal6286 I can't relate with you thoroughly cause I'm the elder one but I surely can understand what it feels like to be controlled and more power to all the girls out there fighting every day ✔️.
An issue many Indians are facing is the financial and conditional dependency on their parents. We aren't used to staying alone or standing on our ground.
This video helped me get some clarity. This is probably the 3rd or 4th time going back to it and I even showed my mother and she still felt the same after and which was disappointing. Maybe she didn’t understand all the words but anyways I’ve been struggling my entire life and I’m currently 23 and I’m the only daughter out of 4. My parents have used emotional blackmail on me whenever I want to do something for myself like eventually move out and get my own place or choose who I want to marry and ofcourse what type of job I should be working. I feel like after all the arguments im just fed up. It’s impossible for them to accept me for who I am and that’s what hurts me the most.
These things also happen to guys, but sadly too many guys oblivious simps. My father died just before I turn 20, and in a matter of few years, I started to living separately, despite 87 thousand counts of guilt trip.
Oh well said Ritu! you’re among the first to speak profoundly and openly about this!
We need more women like yourself to speak up and then we should all come together to create A MOVEMENT to shift some ways of thinking, so rooted in some of our south East Asian cultures, still to this day.
We need to do this NOW so the future generations will have a different story. Rise up, Speak up and let’s live our lives authentically!
Can we connect?
Most South Asian (Sri lankan, Indian, others) Parents raise Daughters for the so called Boomer Society! They raise daughters to get them married to a person of the parents choice that's ok as long its good & the couple (daughter & the groom) is OK with! but the fact they raise their daughter so that she will be a so called typical good daughter in law and so called wife, its nice to be a good daughter in law & a good in law, Ofcourse a Lovely wife! But what they want is to get used to toxicity, teach them to get used to abuses in future & never mind that & moreover support that! Never be financially independent so that she is under his controll, agree that women is 0 is infront of a male! Glorify toxic masculinity, preach them to future gen too, don't dream big coz girls can't & shouldn't continue to work on her dreams after marriage, U're meant to be @ home adjust everything, dont think beyond looking after kids, husband, own parents, husband's parents, in laws!
Most important fact that hurts is that the parents care & take care of the daughter's health so that the in law's don't complaint she's unhealthy in future, not for daughter's wellbeing! Have beauty so that she impress the guys "parents & family"
So that she ticks off the boomer Aunties' requirement/check list! I wonder whether they think marriage is a thing between two or a girl and a family!
Other than marriage part when it comes career part
They're mostly against it! The things I heard in recent times when I told I my dreams!
Omg! Study something just for the sake of society not as u wish, even if ure not gonna continue with studies its ok. In general If I ask something its quite different when my bro asks for the same! The gender discrimination! The gender bias! Girls 're just born for....!
& finally they say their iconic dialogue, "We hv sacrificed alot for u"!
They don't give a shit about what we sacrifice nor appreciate doesn't matter of dont do either one of these but they gossip, say mean things about thier kids to others!
All what I learnt this yr 2023 is that not every parents deserve good kids!
I want to run from my own house because of my toxic parents
I'm living in such a toxic household 😔
The area I'm from is all caste based they have issues with
Early marriage for them their child getting older never exist they want them to marry at about 30
So the loop keeps going
Love marraiges is loosing sanskar
Caste is equal to ruining life
Not having government job means looser forever
And if woman does not wanna work then sara paisa effort ma baap ka duba diya .
Etc etc etc
My parents they want me to learn stuffs like cooking and all without them guiding me
And children are like dream fulfilling machine
They never told me real knowledge
Like how to handle money what feminism really means how to nurture myself
I'm happy I have them but I had to learn all stuffs by myself because pura din padho ke alwa kuch sunne ko milta khn hai!!! Padho for The rat nhi padhna ch te to u will be maid (household woman ) I don't think the work of raising a family should be treated this bad !
Its like i keep doing stuff that my parents want me to do..they see the point of me doing that stuff,but i just dont :/
Why every youtubers make video on parents controlling their daughter.. Why not sons... Even sons get controlled by their parents🥺🥺🥺🥺
My mom told me she needs me to “be her legs”. She said I should be waiting for her at 6 in the morning on a Saturday waiting for to arrive in the kitchen so I can help her cook. 😂😂😂. She yells at me to ask her how she’s feeling. She calls my dad her son and yells at him to make her sandwiches
Wow lots of depressed kids who gona find similar kind of comments from their kids in few years. Best reply to such controlling parents is that become a successful person and give them a better life than they have dreamt of.
I always interested in your conversations. I read a lot of the comments and there are a lot that needed to hear this. I am glad you are helping to shine the light on this. My best friend in high school is Indian and I am aware of some of the issues. She was forced to get married. It only last 6 months because he abused her physically. Her parents felt guilty and allowed her to make her own decision moving forward. Her parents was not supportive of our friendship but later we were like family. She got married later by making her choice and has 3 beautiful children. We still have 27 yrs of friendship to this date. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE INDEED. Shouldn’t be a choice.‼️🙌
Thats great friendship!
At what age this phase gets over for a daughter????
Can we connect?
My parents’ toxicity has made me toxic. I don’t want my little brother to go through the same crap.
same, i'm only staying alive to protect my little brother.
People in the comment section are saying to tell your parents it's your own life. You can take decisions on your own.. but you should know that it's not that easy. Parents are not understanding at all when it comes to these types of things. Especially for girls... It's not easy at all..
It happens gradually..but then you have to be independent financially, mentally..keep going chasing your dreams..😌
Hii..can we be friends?
Earlier I read that stop living on parents money.
They have stopped paying me money actually.