Signs You're Dating A Narcissist
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 24 มิ.ย. 2018
- Learn more about relationships & narcissism here: my.medcircle.com/3Kq5p0v
Leading psychologist and author Dr. Ramani Durvasula walks us through how to spot the signs you're dating a narcissist. She draws advice from her bestselling book, "Should I Stay Or Should I Go? Surviving A Narcissistic Relationship". Dr. Ramani ends the interview with some encouraging advice that anyone can implement today.
"It's like looking into a mirror, and nothing's looking back at you."
She answers:
What defines a narcissist, and what behaviors are typical of a narcissist?
How many of those characteristics does someone have to have in order to be defined as a narcissist?
What is "gaslighting"?
What does it look like when two narcissists date each other?
Are narcissists self-aware?
Can you teach a narcissist empathy?
Nature vs. nurture: Is someone born a narcissist or do they become a narcissist?
What role does parenting play in creating a narcissist?
How can parents prevent narcissism?
How is the trait of narcissism different than narcissistic personality disorder?
Can a narcissistic person ever be truly "cured"?
What should someone expect if they want to break up with a narcissist?
How should someone manage their expectations if they want to continue dating a narcissist?
#Narcissism #MentalHealth #MedCircle #mentalhealthawareness #narcissist #narcissistic
To watch our latest exclusive interviews with Dr. Ramani, click here: bit.ly/2FOKHs6
MedCircle 👌
MedCircle pls do video on Dyslexia pls .
Another very important sign you haven't mentioned..... they are big time boundary crashers.. they don't have any respect for boundaries whatsoever!!!
MedCircle mmmmqcqwcxxsxssss xqsxsxxssxsxxsxsx xxxxsde
MedCircle Do you notice how these two professionals automatically imply that a narcissist is a Man?
There are many Women that are narcissist.
Just thought I'd point that out.
When she said "if you start feeling the need to voice record your conversations with them, maybe its time for you to go" , i felt thattttttt😭😭
Yes same!!
I wish i had watched these before i got involved with my narcissist. I did'nt know what a narc was until i was 18 months in then, i just thought he was a moody get coz of his kids which he had a lot to 6 ex's.. The insults had started months before when he was drunk or on drugs, ringing me through the night if i answered the phone i was up cheating if i did'nt i was asleep with next man, i was drained timed at the shop, phone had to be on show. My mum passed away he was no where to be found, then he changed when he new my inheritance was due. He asked for money before her funeral i was vunerable he knew it, used it. He wanted more & more saying his daughter needed help his friend needed help, then he lost his bank card alsorts of stories long short he had given me a fake name tried to bite me in a row pushed me off a chair, when i punched him i was the bitch, , i started to dig for who he was without his knowledge every thing was about him & his family i was kept a secret i was the supply. He would come round start a row so he could go the list was endless. he met 1 of my sons & threatened me with his. Anyway in the end i videoed him kicking off over a knock on my door it was my "shag" coz i'm a slut slag, skank, it was my lesbian neighbour. he was off his head on drugs told him to get out keep the money he owed me, he kept control coz he thought i was gone once he paid me back, my son had to get him out. The next day a woman turned up saying she his girlfriend, where was he. Turned out he was with her the day my mum died she had help him spend the money he had off me i lost count at £1,000 it was 3,000 but i was lucky he had broke her arms weeks earlier they were a mess he was a woman beater for years after charming them to part with money, and lied his way through life. The info i had was now destroying his life.
I just did this two weeks ago. The jerk went into my phone as he normally does , found it and deleted it bc he couldn't stand what he said without owning up
@@jayneatkinson1464 omg i'm so sorry to hear all the things that you've been through☹ he's such a jerk and he doesn't deserve you at all. You're beautiful inside and out, and i really hope that you're at a better stage of your life because you deserve every bit of happiness in this world❤
Damn! excuse my language but I have been recording conversation s for a year now with children's father. Been time to go.
You spend 10 minutes with a narcissist and need an entire week to recover from that encounter
It took me 2 years almost 3 to heal from a 11 month relationship with a nars
Lol
Tell me about it! :)
A single text message can even ruin u for days
💯💯💯💯🙏🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🗣️🗣️🗣️❤️
"Your heart will break on a daily basis." So very true
heyy wsp fammo,i made a song based off my narcissistic experience, just want to spread a message to those who have endured the pain for the longest. th-cam.com/video/nRCVfqv7Za4/w-d-xo.htmlsi=JGB1rhIBa00EXiMv
Damn true, experiencing it.
Speaking as someone who kept trying to make it work for 14 years. Get out as SOON as you can. Just trust yourself! You KNOW deep down what is going on, don’t push that voice away. You CAN get out. This relationship does NOT define you. There is hope, there is light. You ARE LOVED.
I was out in 2 months until i figured things out, saw fhe red flags, hoping that he will change, i feel like a fool and trying to put my life back together.
Needed this
That's like my mom. But she won't leave. She's afraid. I'm not afraid of him but he's also a psychopath.
Crazy because even they know how to use that little voice in your head and even turn that against you..that’s when you know your deep in man
Damn
They make u feel like you have memory loss
Yessss
Yes absolutely
And like you must be crazy or stupid ..but what you realize is that you don't, nor have ever, felt that way with anyone else ..
That's because being with a narc longterm and being exposed to gas-lighting prolonged has been proven to cause brain damage. We can heal though💓🙏
That’s gaslighting
And they NEVER apologise...EVER.
I believe this! Seen it!
Not suprising when you considered the fact that they have no sense of of empathy due to their extremely low self esteem.
My Narc has abandoned our beautiful good sons for the last 25yrs.. emotionally & financially. If you were to speak to him im sure he would say he was the victim.
Thats the part I cant cope with, apart from the havoc that went on between him & I.
Theyve had no extended family either ..or stepdad..so hard.
My ex had me so beat down that I would apologize for everything. I would say "I'm sorry honey....but I have to go to the store so I can get something to cook for you" After a while, I saw the pattern and how she was in control of the relationship. Then when she would scream ...."WHAT DID I JUST SAY !!!" I would respond, "I DON"T GIVE A CRAP WHAT YOU JUST SAID NOR ANY OTHER THING YOU SAID"!!!! She started to see that she had filled me up with her baloney and I had enough. Her Sister was the one that told me she was cheating on me. She was pretending to go on business trips and actually "hooking" for extra money. And she had a boyfriend in Spain where she would conveniently take an occasional 1 week vacation every so often. What a "B" !!!
I'm in the middle of a divorce with mine and it is definitely messy he is not happy.....he kept me down for 3 years he......not only is he narcissistic but violent and for a long time I thought it was my fault because he would say I was being punished for non compliance......this may sound silly but I always thought that a certain amount of compliance was normal but he took it way to far so now I'm scared to get involved with someone else out of fear I just started treatment with a consoler the bright side is I'm on the road to a better life
Here's the traits she lists in the video:
1. A person who lacks empathy
2. A person who's really entitled, meaning they expect special treatment to be given to them, but nobody else
3. They're very grandiose; They harbor huge fantasies. They only want to affiliate with people they think are as cool or as interesting as they are.
4. They're very superficial; They're very concerned about their appearance and the appearance of people around them.
5. They don't regulate their emotions very well; They're prone to throwing tantrums and are quick to anger, especially if they don't get their way.
6. They can be really hypersensitive to criticism; They can doll it out but absolutely can't take it.
7. They tend to be jealous
8. The engage in gaslighting
9. They don't tend to be very loyal
10. They tend to get pleasure out of the misery of other people
11. They tend to feel empty inside
#5 is me 100% and I hate that I'm like that.
I have 5 and 6, but I don't consider myself narcissist. I have self control. I can count times that I lost my cool. I am sensitive to criticism because I was raised by a very critical mom. I try hard to not be critical towards people around me because I know how it feels to be criticized. Once I noticed someone who can make me loose my cool or who is critical I avoid them. Some people feel rejected by me because once I notice that someone is more likely to give criticism I don't associate with them.
J
My mum 100%💀
My ex that I'm leaving right now has every single one. This is sickening
There are many different signs. These include spending time on phone that was not spent previously, withholding sex from you, withdrawing in communication with you, agitation or anger over Petty stuff or making up situations to get angry or agitated over, lying, being secretive in any way, randomly spending more time caring for and pampering oneself such as putting on makeup or wearing cologne or coloring hair etc. Any type of changed behavior that is not aimed at pleasing or benefiting your relationship. With all of that though, follow your gut. your gut is telling you that something isn't right and it's telling you that this could or is happening, therefore listen to it. Just Free yourself from all of it! Run and don't look back. Go 100% no contact. The mental and emotional abuse is not okay at all! Do not bring anything up to her. Don't try to rationalize or have a conversation about anything. Don't let her know that you know she's in narcissist. All of that can cause a narcissistic rage. If you have not yet witnessed one of those just trust me that you don't want to! A narcissistic rage is beyond any rage I have ever seen or witnessed in my entire life. I am an army combat veteran and served front lines for a year and afghanistan. I have abuse going back from as long as I can remember, the first time in my personal memory is 2 years old. With everything I have been involved in, and my rape, other sexual abuse, their physical abuse, etc in narcissistic rage is by far the worst! If you need to contact your local police department and start a new contact order. No one can protect you like you can! free yourself from it all and move forward in your life. The minute you run and go no contact is the minute your life begins again. If need be seek out professional help. Therapy is the best thing I did for myself. The best gift I gave to me! The abuse is so deep and overwhelming that having a professional guide you through the steps of the healing process is extremely beneficial! Just remember, there is great strength in asking for help. There is great lack and strength or no strength at all in putting on a mask and hiding behind the opinions of society and pretending that you are okay! As human beings we all witness A Time In our lives where we are not okay! Those that heal, move past, and move forward, and have a brighter future are those who ask for help and do the work that is needed through the help! I'm so sorry you are going through this and I wish you the very best! Good luck! Always remember that you are stronger than you believe you are, you are worthy and deserving of better and always, and you are enough just the way you are and who you are today! Take this time for you! Get yourself again. Fix that meal that you're all time favorite, rent that movie you've been wanting to see, have a guys night out with your best friends, remodel a room in your home, go purchase that item you've been wanting to for so long, just do for yourself! Self-acceptance, self-love, and being able to forgive yourself is far more important than what anyone else can give to you! Believe in who you are! You deserve nothing less than that! You're not alone! Feel free to tag me in any other questions that you have! I'll help if I can. Additionally you can hire a cyber expert to help you get remote access to their phone so you can track them and monitor all of their activities without them knowing. You may locate the top cyber specialists locally at Digitalinvestigate@gmail. com, where you can engage a well-trained professional to assist you..........
They’re controlling, they’re cheap, evil, jealous, so much hatred inside their heart but they always idolize themselves like they’re the best..they’re like a vampire that sucks all your energy
OMG I agree with you 🙌🙌
Yupp. I live with one everyday of my life. Im exhausted.
@shogee licious u explain perfect ,in will make u feel worst thing in earth in men I was dating at time sis for fucking used me,we had agreement and promised so much helpe I was deal a lot at time help watch her fucking kids while she chased a marry men in her baby daddy try fuck me told someone family in from there hell ,but nobody in your family no one can help u babysit had nerve kick me out the house..., Total toxic family in her brother try tell me oh my so really wanted help u ,never got apology nothin on top try put her hands on me,,,,that gave me wake up call stop try take every issues into my hands....people ask all times y I dont have kids have find the right men ...in don't mind adopted
To a tee
There nothing but low life's nothing good but evil
Their apology IF they apologize they'll say "I'm sorry you FEEL that way." They never apologize for their actions.
Wicked Nikki Sometimes they do say sorry for small things to gaslight you to ignore the big issue. They just can’t take responsibility...I really don’t understand how they do it...
Or ok,ok,ok I'm sorry can we move on!!! They are not really sorry they just want to move on so they tell you what you want to hear and then later when they do it again and you say "why did you apologized if you weren't sorry" they reply with i was sorry then not anymore or i don't remmember saying that.
even that seems a bit too generous
My boyfriend ...never apologize this bustard ....very evil
I GOT THIS wtf
“Manage your expectations or your heart is going to break on a daily basis!”
My God!
Narcissist people ALWAYS appear to be sweet to other people. But behind closed doors they are monsters! Every time they hurt you and you let them know, they make you feel like it's your fault and that you deserved it. Or they will try and make you feel like you deserved it. They never genuinely apologize for anything! They are repeat offenders. They feel entitled. They don't respect boundaries. They escape responsibilities. They are very dangerous people to be around.
Most those who r saved ...l have a life testimony
Kick them
Exactly!!!!
Especially when they are your parents.
That's why we are narcos
The best apology you'll ever get from a narcissist is the silent treatment,until they decide to talk to you again and the original matter that's hurt you isn't even mentioned....
😬🤦🏽♀️😢
I get my narc to say sorry, however it takes cold hard evidence to prove him wrong. Now when the insults start, I immediately tell him he's being mean. So it seems that treating him like a child has made him tolerable. And I find NPD interesting to observe.
@@jackiebrown8356 you still with him😳😬
THIS
🥺
Don't try to get closure because you'll never get it!!! Just go absolutely no contact. Walk away with what dignity and pride you have left. Try to work on yourself so you won't be in another relationship like this again!!! Just know it wasn't you your only guilty of having a soft heart
Exactly. The only way is no contact. 10 years survivor here, 9 attempts before I finally went no contact and it stuck. It is necessary to be completely accepting that you will never get closure, it will never be just or fair. There is only moving on and salvaging what life you have left. 🥰
@@a.w.s.9227 omg 10 year's?! I was in a relationship for 4 months and the guy acted like he was so in love and obsessed with me. He would not let me out of his sight kept hugging and kissing me nonstop and it was way too much he always said I love you and you are beautiful way too much. He was just conditioning and he is 56 I thought this guy is nuts but I think I loved him. We been broke up for a little over a month. How do I quit obsessing about the way he did me? I hate these terrible obsessive thoughts
@@lindacarol5982 this is by far the longest reply I have ever written lol but that is how important this is! I hope it helps 🙏 😊
First I am sorry you went through this but I am so so proud of you for seeing the red flags and getting out early!!! If only I could go back in time to do the same..... I lost what should have been the 10 best youthful years of my life and will never get them, or my 25-35 year old body, back.
It can be very flattering, intense, even polarizing when they are love-bombing you, it feels like a movie (RED FLAG!!!), and it is perfectly natural to miss the 'affection' and attention BUT, the biggest BUT ever, this is not the start of some beautiful relationship, it is the beginning of a horrible cycle of gnarly abuse.
🌊🌺Each time you start to have these intrusive thoughts try to bring yourself into the present moment by putting one hand on your stomach and one over your heart and take 3 slow breaths. With first breath name 1 thing you see, 2nd breath 2 things you hear, and 3rd breath 3 things you can touch and feel or smell. This will ground you in the present and remind you that you are here for a reason, a very good healthy reason. You made the healthy wise choice to cut this person out for a reason and it is very important to stick to that decision.
Now think over this 'affection' and attention. Do you really miss the person? Or the companionship? Do you miss the person? Or the feeling of being adored? Do you worry that you will not be adored again? Please think carefully and identify what you are really missing. Many times you can provide these things for yourself but in a healthy way! When these 'attentive' behaviors, such as not letting you out of their sight, turn into extreme control so bad he makes you quit your job and controls all the money trapping you, alienates you and isolates you from all your friends and family, and then gives you consequences (abuse) for breaking the rules you will look in hindsight and wish you had left before it was too late.
💖Do something to treat yourself, make yourself feel like your own boo!! 💖Dress how you feel best and take yourself on a date, or go with a trusted friend. 💖Download a list of human rights and read them every morning to remind yourself of your right to say yes, say no, choose where and when you go and who you go with, be with friends and family without consequences or explanation, etc. 💖Do not accept the twisted reality he may try to trick you into believing.
Narcissists are experts at making you feel everything you ever imagined possible but there is a catch: none of it is real, NONE of it!!! Not because you aren't worth it, you are! Not because you don't deserve to be loved and adored, you absolutely do deserve it! But it's not real because it is all a reflection of your own self and actions and they can only keep this charade up for a short time. When they stop mirroring and start being themselves that is when it really starts to hit the fan. By this time it is usually too late but you got out before it was too late!
Whatever pain you are feeling now I promise you if you had stayed it would have grown exponentially week by week until you couldn't take one more pain.
Please know that you did the right thing! You could have been permanently abused and damaged if you stayed! Trust me, there is nothing worse than being with someone who is supposed to be your person but suffering alone and lonely right next to them.
🌟 ✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️ The best thing you can do is surgically remove this person from your life. ✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️ That means erasing any trace of them from your phone and social media, block their phone number (very important), do NOT go on their social media or ask mutual friends about them. It will get easier and easier the more you distance yourself. Just be very careful not to jump into another relationship until you are fully healed and feeling like yourself again otherwise you could very well attract another one. If you had a cancerous tumor removed would you keep it in your pocket or look at pictures of it to remember the 'good times' you had with your cancerous tumor? No!!! Learn to see those behaviors at face value: cancerous behavior tumors. Once you truly learn to see it for what it is you won't want to keep going back to those 'good times ' in your mind.
💙You will heal. It will get better I promise!! Just take your time and trust that you will get past this. Do something new that you have never done. Buy a bike and go biking, take a dance class or do it in your living room to youtube videos, join a cooking class, study a new language, do something you always wanted to do but felt you couldn't. Draw something, go to a concert, take yourself on a walk through a new park every week, read the bible and pray, get a fitbit and set a goal of walking 10k steps a day. Literally anything you can think of but it has to be new. You got this!!! Don't give that person any more of your precious time and energy and self. They didn't EARN it and don't deserve it!
💕You are not alone!💕 And you will be okay, you will heal, you will feel better. Just give yourself some grace and a giant pat on the back because you made an excellent choice!!! 👏 😊
@@lindacarol5982 I just realized you were the original commenter so you probably already know all this I just wrote! Sorry I didn't realize! But I think I will leave my giant comment 😅 in case someone else who hasn't found these answers might need to read it. 😊💕 I hope it gets better, just stay the course! You got this 🌊🌺
heyy wsp fammo,i made a song based off my narcissistic experience, just want to spread a message to those who have endured the pain for the longest. th-cam.com/video/nRCVfqv7Za4/w-d-xo.htmlsi=JGB1rhIBa00EXiMv
I’m pretty sure my ex was a narcissist. He lied A LOT. From huge things to small. Lack of remorse and empathy and accountability. But every time I left him it was “I’m sorry beautiful, I love you” Charming and love bombed me at first then showed me how emotionally attached he was. As the relationship progressed he said he learned so much from me and no one ever cared enough to teach him yet he still consistently cheated and betrayed me. And I’m worried he’s gonna take what I taught him and treat someone else better. I feel like a tornado just ripped through my love life.
This term "narcissist" is used inflationary in my opinion. We all have narcissistic TRAITS which doesn't make us into narcissists! Listen to Dr. Ramani! ALL traits have to be true in order to be a narcissist. There are many more trauma-based relationship problems. And it is not always the other person!
Regardless your better off alone!
@@wildestcowboy2668 if you say so 😇
@@Yetipfote Let me ask you a question; why would it not be better to get out of an abusive relationship?
@@user-ro8ei9iy7o All I can say is hopefully u have set aside secret MONEY and if not START. I help here with a safe place for women and children. Remember u aren't the broken one!
My God, when she said we give 90% of effort to bad relationships and 10% to healthy ones... I realized.
I know right! I just realized I had a female friend who was a close friend of mine then. She totally fits being NP. After I realized it was always about her, I decided enough is enough, friendship has outlived its time, time to walk away. Since then, even in my circle of girlfriends, I invest my time with those I'm growing in as a person. It's a two way street, uplifting one another and being there for each other is two way
@@kaiserfitzwanga653 BS
@@kaiserfitzwanga653 You sound pretty narcissistic tbh /s
Agreed
@@bronsonstuartcharles5612 agree bs
And if they ever apologise, they will throw in a backhanded comment like “but I really don’t see what I did wrong”.
alcidesfy yes!! This is so adament in my "relationship " right now. Ugh
I think my ex gf might be one.
alcidesfy this is so true.
Lies and Infidelity is a very serious issue to deal with and it’s a major threat to most marriages and relationships.Scars left behind from a narcissist husband is hard to erase from the mind. I was reluctant at first about finding the truth about my cheating husband but I’m glad I finally took the courage for it .I got help from Cyber Hack Solutions as he helped clone my cheating husband’s phone and I got access to all his phone call logs, emails, text messages both deleted texts and also social media chats; whatsApp , Facebook, Instagram without having access to his phone because he is mostly out of town due to the nature of his work and I was able to track his location too, all I provided was his phone number to this wonderful hacker. This was very revealing for me as he’s a serial cheater until I got into his phone and ended things.I’m glad to uncover his, lies, secrets and Infidelity. You can contact this amazing Hacker David via gmail (cyberhack003) or text and call on his phone and WhatsApp : +15303784744
alcidesfy or just never apologize like ever
Many people have separated themselves from a narcissist only to continue the battle with them in their minds. I have seen them battle with the narcissist even beyond the grave. Strengthening and building up one's SELF will be the greatest defense against any narcissist.
I would say the first sign will come from your own gut feeling which will send signal to your body telling you that this person doesn't make you feel comfortable being around him/her. The fact that you are already asking this question should alert you to be careful. Something will feel off and you won't know what it is exactly. Covert narcissists can act very charming in the beginning but there will be often also present underlying sense of superiority about them. That sense is actually deriving from them feeling insecure about themselves, so they tend to quietly degrade others in order to feel better about themselves. On the other hand if covert narcissist feels that you are above his league, he will act like your servant, trying to please you - almost annoying in a way. But make no mistake. If you decide to stay in a relationship with him, he will downgrade you and abuse you like all the others. Because in his mind, if you love him, he thinks you are unworthy of him. Covert narcissists hate themselves so if someone loves them, than they think this person is worth less than them and that they can do better. Other sign to look for is any kind of judgment towards others. If he criticises other frequently, he will more likely criticise you as well once he gets more comfortable around you. Pay attention to how he treats people that are dependent on him as well. Narcissists hate those especially if they can't get anything of of that for themselves. Moreover, Cheating in marriages is not restricted to only men. Women cheat as much as men do. If you're suspecting your wife of infidelity, you'll have to keep an eye on her of her without her knowledge of her. One of the best ways to know if your spouse cheats on social platforms is by paying close attention to how your spouse behaves while online. The signs are pretty the same. Is your spouse more time on the app without explanation and gets unnecessarily defensive when you ask about it? If your spouse behavior has changed lately, and continues to spend more time on social apps, it's time for you to take action, with the help of a private investigator (suggested; METASPYHUB@GMAIL. COM , you can find out what is taking all their time on social apps, who they are talking to and other things happening,,
Even if you have that gut feeling, you aren't allowed to speak on it, or else they use whatever to make you believe you are in the wrong, when you are just trying to speak up.
I completely agree with you on that.
You explained it very well 👌🏾
The two biggest truths about narcissists: ABSOLUTE CHARMERS & TOTALLY INSECURE. Yet wreak havoc without any empathy.
Bhakti Brophy you're absolutely right!
So true
BHAKTI BROPHY spot on!!!!!
😏😏😏😏🤔🤔🤔👍🤦♀️🤦♂️
BHAKTI BROPHY 😱 yessssssssssss
“DON’T WE WANT A PARTNER THAT MAKES US LOOK GOOD?
“NO, WE WANT A PARTNER THAT MAKES US FEEEEL GOOOD.”
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Looks will change for everybody. If not in our corner, why know the person?
Yeah, that was a profound statement that stuck with me, too....
You should probably just feel good and then share that with your partner
lol don't want a partner because of that. so sick of the narcs in my life already. Don't want to be responsible for making anyone feel good. In a perfect world, everyone should be self sufficient enough to make themselves feel good or at least be committed to having each other's back and giving each other support and love. Imagine that 'trust fall' game where you're there to catch your friend every time and your friend just lets you fall when you need to be caught. That messes up our ability to trust and if it doesn't create depressed people, it creates calloused independent people. Of course, many mature and are able to find solace in actual loving relationships, but a lot of people carry the scars for the rest of their lives.
Would like but it's perfect at 464🤗
Never think you're not enough to change someone. They're not enough for themselves. Get away. Stay safe. You matter.
I can really relate to the struggle against the confusing mind games of a narcissist. It's like walking through a maze where the walls keep shifting. Your story resonates deeply because, like you, I felt so isolated, doubting my own reality, as if my confidence was slipping through my fingers.
The more you love a narcissist, the more they hate you.
Ugh so true
Very true...
And resent you for the love and care
@Gaz Membrane you dont want to be loved by a narcissist, they are incapable of love anyway, what you want to do is stay away from them
@@ally526 that's what lm experiencing right now. So l know you are right. They are pigs. They do like trash. Sleeping with 2 woman at the same time. Sleeping with strangers. And if you put it in there face they always deny... Or say you are trying to slander there name. Even if you have proof. And if you keep trying to talk to them about it they will hurt you physically.
Narcissists pick on vulnerable people and vulnerabilities...they are not around to support and show you love....they are there to nail your coffin shut.
Yes, I've been doing a lot of research on Narcissism and they tend to target people with co-dependency issues. They feed on other's misery because it makes them feel better about themselves. They project unto others all the vile things they feel about themselves and in doing so, they destroy that person's emotional well-being. They are very toxic people and should be avoided like the plague.
Steph M ... my divorce papers were not even signed... after being married for 33 years of my life...he swooped in and targeted me... I was lost and lonely and I told him that...he then dragged my heart through broken glass 😕
left me every 2 months to prowl. ..did it 9 times..then told me I had abandonment issues 😣😂😂😂. ..no shit Sherlock 😂😂
That is terrible! I'm just.....wow. He even gaslighted you after cheating on you by saying you had abandonment issues? They sure love to project onto others since He's obviously the one with abandonment issues. They really are evil people. I am thankful I've never been involved with one. I hope you are away from him now.
Steph M.... Yes I am away from him....thank you.
Just curious ... why you here if you have not been involved with one....it's an horrendous experience and one I wish I was never part of... I wish I did not have to spend so much time researching and educating myself on this cruel mental disorder....to save myself.
That is good to know. I am glad he is no longer in your life. :) As far as how I got interested in Narcissism, I was on here not long ago watching a totally unrelated video about about these twin sisters who killed back in the 1800's I believe (I like reading/watching about old crimes), and on the right hand side there were related videos and one was from the You Tuber, The Little Shaman Healing, about narcissism. And I clicked it on and that lead me to watch all her videos and a bunch more about related psychological disorders. I've always found psychology interesting since my mom has schizophrenia. Knowledge is power and knowing the signs of toxic people helps in dealing with them in encounters.
9 years with a narcissist. I'm a shadow of my former self. I don't know myself anymore. I don't know if I'm right or wrong. 9 years of confusion. Someone in the comments said it's like a hurricane ripped through them and they are right.
Get out from it fast
Get out of it and find helping people . I recommend therapy and journaling. Connect with nature and meditate rebuild a community of good people. Anyone who can withstand a narcissist has a heart of gold to overlook such displays of extreme emotion and manipulation. It shows that you’re a person who forgives and tried to see the best in another, possibly you were an optimist about him too. These aren’t bad qualities and you were smart enough to look for the answers when things got bad. It is never too late to free yourself from the shackles of a bad relationship. I am sending you love and the best wishes possible. Thank you for being so vulnerable here ❤️
@@katrinna8426 I cried for hours after reading your comment. I got out at Christmas time. I was feeling hopeful about 2024. Thinking of new ways to meet people and join new activities.
I was on my new balcony hanging my washing when I heard him shouting at me. He has now moved 3 apartments down. He can see me from his. If I sit on my balcony he can see me. If I am outside in the grounds of the complex he can see me. He watches everything. He said if he can't have me then no one else will. I feel like a prisoner all over again. I am writing things down with dates to show the police. But I'm so low on energy and self love that sadness and tiredness overwhelm me.
I was married twice to one, thought 2nd time we could work on building a good life but after a while I could see it wasnt ever going to work. I am happy now, its hard at first but learning to be happy with yourself and building up yourself is good and there is much joy in life. I still see her around and am nice to her but realize she will never change into an empathetic person and I am ok with that.
@@ghostman76015 I'm so glad that your strength has been restored to this level. It's definitely wasn't easy for you. I hope to garner some modicum of strength and self love soon. Thanks for sharing what you went through.
Even after a breakup, it never ends!
I’m literally shocked! She brought up the voice recording thing!!!! I’ve been doing this for years with the same man because I feel like I need to have it recorded to make sure I’m not losing my mind! My jaw is on the ground. I thought I was a total freak for doing that!
UPDATE:
I made my original comment a little over a month ago, and we’ve been broken up and have had no contact since that day. It took me years to finally let go of trying to work things out with him. This last DISCARD was the final DISCARD!
I was sitting here with my mouth open too! I started writing things down first. Then when I would pull out what she said with the day and time she would start a fight saying she can't believe I'm that awful to write it down. So I started video recording with my cell phone and then all hell would break lose when I presented that proof.
Juan Antonio Suarez yep! And sometimes I would get caught recording and he would FLIP! I mean yeah... audio recording a fight is freakin weird but NECESSARY when dealing with a narcissist!
The night before I moved out I was going out to the store for last minute items and she said out of nowhere, "Why don't you just leave? You don't seem happy. Why not move out?" I was biting my tongue because she had no idea that I had a new living room and bedroom set being delivered the very next day, TV and surround sound waiting for pick up at Best Buy, a Public Storage unit packed with brand new items all for the apartment I was moving into the very next morning! That week she was texting me about how I broke her heart and she hasn't stopped crying all week since I left. When I mentioned her asking me the night before why don't I just leave, she said, "I never said that. You're thinking of someone else." I couldn't effing believe it! She hit me one last time with that crap!
The narc I was in a relationship with was floored when I said enough! I know he thought he was so cunning. Yet get this, I told him to leave and he allowed a tear to roll down his cheek and said "I don't want to leave." I looked at him and thought "Maybe one day I'll look back on that tear and feel bad." but right then I didn't (and never did!) and I told him "time to go." He demanded I help him find an apartment "as you know how emotional I get!"...WHAT? He had me crazy for two years and I was supposed to hold his hand and help him find a new place to live? (later he called and threatened to blow up my car!!) Later still wrote me a letter offering his support and financial aid!! (starting the love-bombing all over again? Never knew I ignored his offer)
Taylor Lynn Hansen my sister and I record our narc brother for safety reasons,Please all be safe and stay strong, you too dear, you always have power and choice. I don't have a choice unless I get married cuz he my guardian...
"They get angry very quickly especially if they don't have it their way"
They want to kill you unbelievable mean. But may the person I refer to has another disorder.
Well this can also from a normal person
You can write it in an email, have it texted in print, recorded, it could even be in their own handwriting, and the narcissist will deny it. My advice after 30 years of a narcissist, and it almost killed me, you have to leave, cut off all communication. It’s the only way to save your own sanity.
As someone that can spot a narcissistic person after a few days of interaction with them, I'll never understand how people put up so much with their constant lies, bullshit, upfront arrogance, their constant god complex and belittling of others to boost their own agenda or ego. Always to perfect. To pure. Ugh... My previous roommate was like that. He hit his girlfriend multiple times and I had to intervene to prevent her more harm and it all ended with me coming back to my flat with 4 cops after he threatened to kill me for defending his girl from him. Like it was his right to punish her (she didnt do anything at all).
All those kinds of people can burn in hell for all I care about ! Men or women, they all deserve it ! Don't ever feel sorry for them or give them compassion ! That's how they trap you !
Thankyou
"We want a partner that makes us feel good!" That statement alone is better than many books on relationships.
Ariella Lima YES
And self deception is often the short cut to feeling good. People who are self deceptive are often easy targets to the narcissist deception.
“When you start to feel the need to record your conversations it’s probably time to get out”
Oof...
This lol
Malley_Cat OMG too many times I’ve felt I had to do that! Like seriously. There’s NO sense of trying to tell them they in fact did do this or that or say this or that. So annoying each time it happens.
Barbara Anne Rose ...yeah man, as I heard that I remembered the notes I have right now with time and dates of the things the narc said. Certain hurtful or ridiculous things just so when they start their amnesia (gaslighting ) crap I can reflect back to my notes and show him. Meanwhile I’ve been wasting my time, he will never admit or change...😔😞.
Omg i just started recording my convos with my bf smh its too much
I would just like to update this by saying I officially left my narcissistic EX a week ago and I couldn’t be happier. I feel like I can breathe again. 💖☺️
On Friday, I stop talking to a narcissist that made me crazy for the past 2 years.
you're amazing
My issue was that approaching her with "when you did/said this, it made me feel this way" would be met with "it's not MY fault you're feeling that way." It was always on me. I didn't have a right to have feelings. Certainly didn't have a right to express them.
😢😢😢😢 this is me...we just broke up and she would rarely apologize 😢😢 I loved her so much
Dating a narcissist feels like you’re being dragged through the mud & then stomped on & then spit on.
Johizzle I feel this.
Johizzle yes! 😩
I am currently feeling this way. Thankfully I got out 2 days ago after a year of this toxic relationship
Maria Garcia how does this make you feel?
Narcissist look like the hell they put you through. I hope god saves my soul from these monsters and direct me to people who are good for my mental health.
"It's a whole Beauty and the Beast fantasy. He's a grumpy narcissistic beast, but if I wear yellow dress and sing a few songs, he's gonna turn into a prince. But it is just that - a fantasy". Priceless.
And so true!
That one was hard , soooooo true
Best summary for Fifty Shades of Grey ever!
Oh my that makes so much sense.
Id bet most people who fall for a NARC are projecting their own personallity onto that person and then falling for themselves.
Can't believe I spent 3 years with a narcissist. It fucks me up and I just realized it when it's all over. What Dr Ramani said in this video is absolutely spot on with the experience that I've gone through. Lack of empathy and remorse, lack the need to compensate and willingness. Everything is about them and how they look infront of people. It does changed into a better looking guy but the hurts my soul and reality. I'm not happy. I'm grateful for the life experience and will now be more caution man than I ever be.
Another Narcissistic phrase is “believe what ever!” As well.
Omg someone who I suspect is a narcissist said this exact thing to me. I don’t throw the word narcissist around, but I strongly suspected he was.
Remember folks, it's not just romantic relationships. Our families can be huge narcissists. Toxic is toxic no matter who they are to you.
Yes, and the internet and alcohol make it much easier for the Narc to self-medicate with alcohol and then write a HIDEOUS message.
I agree I’m going to look for a quiz to find out if my family is a narcissist
This!
How sad and true....
Facts
"We need a partner that makes us feel good" game changer, thank you so much
Yes, I left partner and now realise all n.fam makes me feel cr*p. A gilded cage is still a cage! I now have been left with zero people in my life who allow me to feel good about myself. Brought up this way.... no gift, no nothing can make up for this, certain things are deal breakers and feeling crap about yourself due to others insensitivity and lack of empathy and interest is mine 🙏🙏
@@bereal6590 hope you can find somebody to talk to to release the pain and help you find your own peace
Yeah, i dont completely agree on that one.
And that thought could be dangerous...
Ikr
I have been trying to get some of my friends to understand that. But no success so far.
I wish I have had someone telling me all this before I got married. My husband of 25 years used to behave like a dictator and all the red flags were there. Emotional abuse is a serious problem in a relationship. From emotional abuse, cheating started.Thank you *COHERENT RECOVERY* for posting this time to get me all the evidence.
I can’t drop their website link on here, TH-cam don’t allow links. Just search their name and connect to their official page. Don’t search on TH-cam, search on google to take you to their platform.
Word will fall short if I am to praise for everything they have done. however this won’t stop me from telling how valuable *CoherentRecovery* have become for me now. I wish them more hacking projects and recommendations.
keep up the good work Jack on *Coherentrecovery* . You're truly a genius. Got me access into my girlfriends phone in just few moments, without her been notified or even getting to Find out. This is the best cyber skills I've seen😳😲
I used to think checking your partner's phone was an invasion of their privacy but then I thought about it again. How can you give someone access to your private body but phones are off limits? At the time my ex was acting funny so *Coherentrecovery* got me full access to sms, video calls, social media accounts without any trace back to me or getting detected at all and all I can say is it changed my life for good.
Scam.
I was with a narcissist, it was so not easy. He never admitted that he was wrong and blamed me for everything. I loved him, but it was like it was only me in that relationship. Maybe the break up was really a blessing.
"Otherwise your heart is going to break on a daily basis". I felt that.
I had the same and when i managed to lower my expectations and focus on friends, hobbies etc. and finally be happy ; guess what happened? He left me!
Anyway, i have found peace in his absence.
I feel you
@@womanwithamask2631 who told you to lower your expectations? If you did that then why were you surprised when shit went through?
@@oscar3490 i did not want to have a divorce. That was why.
Yes
I’ve dated a narcissist before. Ruined my life and lead me to a suicide attempt. Luckily I survived. It’s really hard to trust people again after an experience like that...these people can scar you for life.
Same here! But I came out stronger and wiser. I bet you are now too! Hang in there!
Wow same here
Glad you didn't succeed, the suicide I mean. Had you done so you'd only feel many times worse. This goes for anyone else with the same idea. You don't cease to exist by death. your consciousness doesn't die with the body and you'd discover your in deeper shit than you ever dreamed. That said, I get the ruining your life part. Narcs are evil, period.
imagine having one as your mom lol
Try having kids with a narcissistic police officer with a narcissistic mom who is a bailiff at the family court....
Dealt with this type of behavior for 16 years until getting divorced. It’s unreal just how livid a true narcissist will get when you reveal to them you’ve been recording conversations proving that you’re not crazy.
Oh, how I wish I had thought of doing that!!!
Is incredible how hard it is for them to apologize, is like killing them
From what I've read about Narcs......they don't typically attract the same to themselves. They attract those of us who are empaths.
This is very true, and it doesn't end well for the empath.
Oh yes, I know. The last Narc I was involved with nearly broke me. I'm still trying to recover, truth be told. BUT, it also sent me searching for answers as to why I was attracting this type of individual to me....I needed to understand the trait because I was born into it, with a Narcissistic mother.
Yes. I’m an empath who was married to someone who is high on the narc spectrum. There were warning signs early on but I ignored them.
Preach
A good sign to look out for is if they value your Time. Time is the most valuable asset in the world. It's the one thing you will never get back and it should be special.
Narcissists will not value your time because they see you as "there for them". A Narcissist is a lot like most cats... full of themselves but kind when they need you. Haha.
‘Can we move on from this?’ .. when they haven’t even apologised or explained their actions yet
omg this was my ex! "why do you keep bringing it up your always so negative!"
@@shaunaghmatthews9910 My ex called me mean and a slanderer when i asked them for an apology for the mean things they said to me. They called me a burden, lazy when they knew it would hurt me because of my disability and depression. They said they were "being polite and only trying to help me"
Yeah, or “you can’t just let anything go!”
@@chrisg7842 that too mine was like "you keep bringing up my past behaviour this is emotional abuse" after my ex insulted me and i wanted an apology.
@@gemmal2271 yeah apparently I’m delusional and paranoid.... yet I’m the one who put in the work, shopped for us, took us out, held her on a pedestal, ran round like an idiot, while she posts beggy posts and sultry selfies on social media for male attention. I gave my all, over and over for little crumbs of nothing!
I've been staying up watching all these videos. I left an unhappy relationship 6 months ago but I haven't been able to move on. I feel like the break up was all my fault, even though he cheated on me. The way he spoke to me has left my confidence so low. I can't be sure he is a narcissist, but he ticks so many of the boxes and the video describes our dynamic so well. Thank you for posting, it's really helped me as I try to heal ❤️
Oh my God! I knew my ex was a narcissist (displays ALL the traits) but just realized she used to gaslight me so hard that sometimes she convinced me that I was the one who was gaslighting her. She also always wanted to communicate on Snapchat instead of text so I couldn’t go back to our conversations to prove her wrong. And she had the audacity to accuse me of gaslighting every time I remembered something differently than her. I def understand the “wanting to record conversations”
My narc was recording our convos at the end.. but he was gaslighting me 247. Idk what to make of it
Living with a narcissist most be pure hell, especially if you’re an empath - the worst and most dangerous combo ever 😢
Get me and my ex. I’m the most forgiving and understanding person ever. He really broke me down
Im empath too, and yes its a bad combination, glad im out!
I’m very empathetic and my narcissistic ex nearly destroyed me
Sure honey...i bet you're such an empath...when it comes to yourself lmao!
Happens everyday and everynight with my dad. It's a 24/7 thing 7 days a week.
I'm in the process of leaving my narcissist bf right now. Send good vibes my way 💓 should be out by sept 1st
I'm with you. Putting my blinders on and not going back.
Me too.
Me too!!!
Good vibes sent
Why is it a process? I honestly don’t know. Can’t you just say “this isn’t working for me”.
Thank you for this presentation. I always love learning more. My ex from my mid-twenties was a serious narcissist. His idea of who I was supposed to be was completely insane. Basically, his mom who was perfect in his eyes and had died. I remember the blowups. I fought for that relationship for 4 years. I was never able to live up to the expectation set. When I left, he told me I was ruining us by leaving when he cheated on me and justified it, all because in the city we lived in we were the “It Couple.” Believe me, being the “It Couple” wasn’t worth it. The feeling that came when I packed everything and left was so empowering and I remember feeling free, like I could finally breathe. That was the a starting point to healing. Now I help others with personal empowerment. So grateful I left. If you are afraid no one will love you or you aren’t good enough, know that as a survivor of this, there is someone amazing out there for you if you wish for that. If not, you are worthy of love all the same just as you are. I am celebrating 10 years with my partner and I can’t tell you how grateful I am that I stopped trying to make that last relationship work with someone who could never fully love me. I realized the gaslighting was so strong I had shrunk and felt insignificant. No one should feel that way. Wishing well those who are in the thick of it🌺
Thank you for this. I may have suffered from narcissistic abuse that I'm currently in therapy for and sometimes when it gets too overwhelming to detach myself from the past, where I keep thinking I could've done something to not let any of this happen, I'm grateful for stumbling into comments of this sort which reinstate my faith in recovery. There's hope and I'll work towards healing.
i am struggling in a relationship now but have gaslit myself into believing he'll change, i need a reason to come back to this video to remind myself
I was in the same situation. I understand you. If he hasn’t change he will never change. The longer you stay in that relationship. The more of reason you give him not to change. He will only think she’s not going anywhere. I haven’t changed and she is still here. I don’t need to change. It’s hard but the best you can do is leave.
He will not change
It’s so exhausting and damaging to be in a relationship with someone who always has to be right about everything and “win” at everything. And the annoying moodiness and silent treatments and expecting other people to read their minds else they’ll show a temper tantrum or get even more cold and sullen. And they never listen, they are never there, all conversations are one-sided. If they do “listen”, it’s to watch you and learn your weaknesses to be used as ammunition against you later on.
Well said
CHUTTERBALL AMBER HEARD IS DANGEROUS NARCISSIST ABUSER, PROFFESSIONAL PSYCHOLOGYST Analysing the Argument between Johnny Depp And Amber Heard: Part 1 th-cam.com/video/_4TZ3VAJD7o/w-d-xo.html
PROFFESSIONAL PSYCHOLOGYST Pt 2: Analysing the Argument between Johnny Depp And Amber Heard th-cam.com/video/OlEYNhxCl5Y/w-d-xo.html
100% dealing with this right now
@@georgewashington3555 depp is a nutcase
@@pinkpugginz same,I feel like moving out now
“The narcissist isn’t experiencing any discomfort himself yet he destroys all the people around him but never self reflects on his own behaviour” DUDE, if this isn’t the truest thing I’ve ever heard. This encompasses how evil and damaging it truly is to love a narcissist.
It doesn't get better with time. Since she divorced me she has had 5 boyfriends die by brutal almost comical self inflicted accidents. At first I was disturbed but when it started happening to people I didn't know she volunteered details and didn't seem to think that was unusual.
@@MrDogonjon
That's a psychopath.
Who are you mystery woman
Yup and it doesn’t get better , im glad I broke off the relationship. & to think throughout these years he made me to believe I was the overreacting one
Is that really you?
My mother is a narcissist. People don’t understand narcissists and what one is. My mom has such a huge inferiority complex and compensates it with narcissistic tendencies. She never thinks of a situation and how it effects anyone else.
My favorite thing to say to a narcissist, after their finish blowing up is OK 😂 and then you can follow that up by some thing kind of gaslighting-y like “you still didn’t make any sense” or “maybe you’ll get better at explaining yourself”…oh it feels so good to not give a damn about them and having them realize it AHHHH but only do that when they are trying to come for you! You should proceed with caution, but remember they’re insecure, and you can get to them too! You’re not powerless, and are capable of being a monster too! These are good opportunities to practice standing up for yourself if you’re stuck. You’re gonna get hurt a lot but eventually you’re gonna get to a place where you get sick of it you’re gonna fight back. Your body will go into protect mode and you’ll start insulting them back with things you wouldn’t dare say before
Narcissists do not change. Run. You can do better. There are many normal, happy people out there that will treat you right!
X2Y2 normal is not the right word.
Well adjusted. You know what I meant.
I believe some can change!
If only they could be found.
X2Y2 absolutely right! Drop that dead weight, you will be light and happy
18:43 "People who are in relationships with narcissists ultimately always feel like they are not enough." .... Wow. It's like she read my deepest thought.
This is so so true… I’m in this type of relationship now
@@natashaatkins7231 how are you going about it? After watching this what action was taken?
This answered everything for me. I don’t even need to watch the whole video
@@natashaatkins7231 I’m in this kind of relationship too.
I felt that way with one of my friends. 🥲
Thank you Dr Ramani. You have changed my life. I managed to get out of my 10 year relationship with my narc husband. I am now in healing from that relationship. Thank you for everything you put out there. I have followed your work for at least 5 years now and it took me a while but I moved out last year.
Narcissists teach you to value other things in life, thats why I like being with them
it is like lookin in a mirror with nothing back, i live with my partner and i feel more alone than when im alone
Facts.!! Speak on it 🙌🏾
Yes, i felt more alone with them then without them
@@miss_karenjoselin baby you are way too beautiful to be experiencing that , you need to leave asap .
😭
This been happening to me too . Im to the point where I actually rather be alone
If you are suffering because of a narcissist, remember you are loved, beautiful and worthy. Never give up on yourself! 💗
I feel worthless because of all the stuff he has said and done to me
I am trying to get over all of the horrible things done and said
Aww Thanks I try not to give up but it’s the things that they say to make me feel bad about myself
😒
Thanks dia
I’ve finally decided to leave my boyfriend of almost 2yrs. I know it’s sad because it’s a week before Christmas.
I would never say to him that he may be a narcissist. He would think I’m insulting him.
He always makes me feel sad, labeling me being bad at communicating, playing victim, manipulative and disrespectful to him. Whenever I try to express that when he gets frustrated he gets argumentative and it makes me feel uneasy. It’s difficult to communicate when I feel uneasy. Making me feel bad saying I’m blaming them for why I can’t communicate. They yell at me saying I’m making them out to be a monster and shut me out. When I was just trying to share my concerns.
I’ve looked passed him being this way many times because he said he loved me and I still loved and cared for him. I understand he gets stressed and has anxiety.
But I keep feeling sad and I realized I need to be good to myself and love myself first. I’m afraid he’s not going to be there for me when I need him.
He may think I’m being selfish and giving up on us. That I give up on working to understand and fix things.
I know he will never change and apologize for hurting me. I still do care for him. But I cannot allow him to keep treating me this way.
He’s not close to his family. He has worked in healthcare for many years helping people. I always thought well of him. Because he take care of people. He loves his kids. I respect his time with them even if he doesn’t invite me.
The times he treats me badly. He will never apologize when he makes a mistake and expects me to apologize every time I do. I’m done feeling sad. Even tho I think he’s a good person and many of his clients love him. I can’t keep dealing with this treatment.
He has also made grand promises to me that we should travel the world. Or we should go to this fancy restaurant. But we’ve been together almost 2yrs and we haven’t done anything he’s suggested.
I decided to get out cuz I can’t do this forever.
Even if I fix my communication skills I don’t think he will stop getting frustrated with me and shutting me out.
He’s not a person who would ever physically hurt me. But he always makes me doubt myself and gets upset when I don’t text him enough or when I go out to a bar with my sisters for a birthday party.
He doesn’t trust me and he makes me feel bad for not helping him feel reassured.
As much as I tell him I love and care he always wants more. I always felt like I wasn’t doing enough to make him happy.
He’d never admit he’s insecure. Or acknowledge that he has hurt me.
Was u living under his roof?
Sorry for that it’s really make me tears 😢😢
Omg I resonate with this sooo much! We "both" broke up with each other according to him but he thought I would work things out. I was just so tired of constantly trying to change myself for him and everything was always my fault or my cause. He broke up with me before I tried with him to show I would be there he said I wasn't emotionally supportive or reassuring but when I would try to tell him how I felt he would snap at me and say I complain too much or I'm not capable of communicating right or saying things right and would use my insecurities about socializing against me. He was also so manipulative and even admitted it once that I shouldn't make my education a priority when right now it needed to be I gave him so much of my time, effort, money,and let so many blow ups slide by with him yelling or constantly criticizing me instead of just telling me he's insecure and needed reassurance. I was very sad at first cause I care for him and still love him but he was slowly destroying my self esteem and I felt as if I was being weighed down constantly.
@maiz2267 Same here! I haven't been crying either anymore. I wish there was some support group lol. Yeah I saw all the warnings but i disregarded them just in the hopes of having a connection or feeling loved. Idk if you feel this way too like you gave away a bit of yourself? He would always flip everything on me and day it's cause I don't love him or I resist him when he yelled at me to open up. He use to still talk to his ex for the whole first part of the relationship and I should've let him go when he started going on and on about it on the first date. Yes I felt emotionally cheated on as well he admitted he did at the time he could've done more but who knows if he was lying. He use to get so angry if u called him out on a lie. Yes girl I wish I stood more firm maybe like you did. But I'm working on myself again I think I let things go and started to put up things that normally I never would. 😕 I feel free now but I wanna work on finding a good therapist.
@Maiz 22 it’s a pattern of behavior which is why you can relate. Different people same pattern of behavior. 😊
I was in love with narcisitic. He never gave me clarity. The pain is extremelly brutal. I think I Will never win, I do not have energy to deal with him. I want peace. I no longer want to be abused, tired..
Please drop the need to win and get away. It will get worse.
A narcissist relationship is the worst and I hope no one goes through this. You feel like your so alone and in prison. I'm a narc survivor. May You free yourself, free yourself, find peace, and happy again.
I was married to one but he did me a favor and divorced me out of anger and so I'm much happier now.😊
I’m friends a few people that can act narcissistic. And they’ll try and say, is the Holy Spirit doing it. But I don’t think so.
Prison.... Funny you say that I called mine "WARDEN JAMAR"... and felt he did count to keep me down and isolated.
Just break up with them then 🤣🤣🤣 y’all the females who stay in the relationship
@@Psyiconics I agree! I broke up with him. I'm so happy and free. No one plans to be a victim. I got to know him and fell in love with him. He didn't show me his true self or what I would say I didn't see it clearly in the beginning. Overall I wish him well and lefted. Sadly some people can't leave for many reasons. Sometimes it cost their life. That goes for relationships, friends, and family. I have educate myself about narcissist and abuse. I have a better understanding now.
In a narcissists eyes they're never wrong so they'll NEVER apologise and always blame you...for everything.
Their two favourite lines...
"I never said that"
"This is all your fault"
I heard both of those this past weekend, after his kid pushed him back and he fell into my jaw. That was somehow my fault. Then he was mad at me bc I stood back away from them so didn’t get hurt again, so he began talking to two other females and blamed that on me too, saying I ruined our family night by getting hurt.
I heard both of those this past weekend, after his kid pushed him back and he fell into my jaw. That was somehow my fault. Then he was mad at me bc I stood back away from them so didn’t get hurt again, so he began talking to two other females and blamed that on me too, saying I ruined our family night by getting hurt.
@@amandacastle7983 sorry to hear that. I hope you are ok. It's so hard being with a narcissist, you literally feel like you are going crazy, always getting blamed for everything. It's just not nice
I actually like it when they say it's my fault. I just be like "You right." Then I walk away. Lol. Idgaf. If the narc thinks they the only ones that can break things and get away with it they are sorely mistaken. I'll break the entire shop and be like YUP IT WAS ME. It's kinda funny too bc this strategy makes them stop denying the things they break. I'm like a Jedi now when it comes to narcs, they have literally no idea what to do with me.
So true 🙌🙌
This is so spot on for me. I have gone through so much never understood what a narcissist was until now. I just got out of a narcissist relationship. I'm an empath and so glad he left me. I feel free and healing. I was so exhausted and was on my way to depression.
I was with one he left 9 months ago will call no answer or he will hang up I believe there some one else and now he miss my birthday made excuses and says he coming back but I believe some one is holding him there and I believe she has 2 kids and jealousy is the thing she don't want use back together why wish I knew is he sleeping with I've. Never seen in over a.month never .ade love scent Oct and I could tell there was a problem he wasn't the Sam's so why is he lieing
Same tryna get out now.
These videos are great. I'm getting over a relationship with a woman who-while I'm not qualified to diagnose anyone here-walks like a narcissist, talks like a narcissist and quacks like a narcissist, and it's just been utter hell. I had been single for a while, so I ignored the red flags and enjoyed the fact that this rather attractive younger woman was all but throwing herself at me. While the love bombing seemed too good to be true, her divorce seemed miserable and as much as I empathized with her after she told me how terrible her husband was, she seemed really petty and vindictive during the whole process. She told me early on he was a narcissist, and because of this I convinced myself that she couldn't be one even when she turned off the love tap and suddenly I wasn't ever enough, and I noticed myself on the receiving end of the same kind of things she told me her husband used to do. It got to the point where I was rearranging my life for her whims, and doing everything I could just to avoid another fight over the pettiest of things, while the amount of positive treatment I received from her dwindled to practically nothing. I started getting panic attacks and she encouraged me to go to therapy, which very quickly turned into talking about my relationship. Ultimately she dumped me when she asked that we "took a break" and my response to her "so how do you plan to change yourself for me?" text wasn't what she wanted to hear. I'm still recovering and miss her like some kind of drug. I managed to get an awesome job in another country and moved, and it's probably what saved me (along with therapy) from a much darker place than where I am at. Interestingly, the panic attacks all but stopped after we broke up.
The panic attacks are real. So happy you got away
Jesus, I dealt with the same but he was a divorcing man. I never had panic attacks before but they were common and I even developed a stress rash, it was that horrible at times.
@@kaylaaicher3902 Oof, sounds awful. Narcs are like VX nerve gas for the soul, seriously.
When my boyfriend and I got together I thought he was just a spoiled brat, turns out he may be a narcissist.
I wish they came with warning labels
warning labels! that's a good one.
Hi Katonna, how do you like to hang out with me. I'm Vangeliko, and l'm a Narcissist. How about 8pm Saturday? 😎
If someone had a high self importance . Low empathy
And act superior . Always boasting acting like they know it all . Have no tolerabce . Is a big sign they are narcissistic.
That's the absolute truth. Me too.
@zumzy u is this for real?
Ask them to repeat what you said...they will not, because they have no intention on processing your feelings, you do not matter.
Absolutely
Yep he never repeated what he said. Now looking back, I don't think he was ever connected to me emotionally and only saw me as an object.
Yes.
They listen not to our side of the story. They are even pissed off we have our side of the story.
Wow didn’t even think of this
My grandma is a true narcissist and I’m shocked how well this depicted other domestic relationship also. She gaslights my whole family but she’s never willing, even when faced with evidence, to except she might be wrong. It’s frustrating and mind blowing.
Exactly! “I need a hot young girl”… his exact words he ALWAYS would say to me. I am ten years younger than him, and pretty. But I am not 20 years old and a “hot girl”. It hurt me, a lot. He wasn’t good looking & had no money, but I thought he was cute and charming. But he was also very cruel and hostile towards me, emotionally & mentally abusive. I was shocked at how he suddenly flips into a monster and then there’s no stopping him from his unstable emotions and insults.
I just got out of a relationship with a narcissist. He left me. Best decision he's ever made. These 3 days have been so healing. I'm hurting but I'm healing. Thank you.
Same with me. My second intimate partner who at least had narcissistic traits. It's been a week now. Sometimes I feel anger for him leaving me with no reservations after all I've done and all the times he begged me to stay, but mostly I feel gratitude for being cut free. I've been healing like crazy and rediscovering myself. In a year, things will be so much better for us 💙
Don’t accept him back if he returns. They tend to do that and try to even be better for you as just to break you. Don’t go back there.
same siss, in my case we both wanted to end the relationship, it's been two weeks now and I feel relieved. Wish you all the best
You will be okay! ❤️
Be prepared he will show up at your doorstep sgsin..they most often come back I guess to see if their bullshit can still fly
“ don’t we want a partner that makes us look good” “No we want a partner that makes us FEEL GOOD. “ 😊
We are all on the narcissism scale somewhere. He's a little higher than I am. Lol
Xenina In California I’d still marry you lol 😂
Working with you is an honor, working without you was an absolute horror. Working under you is a pleasure, an experience that I will truly treasure. Thanks, for getting access to target's phone *Future imperative corps*
Search *Future imperative corps* to chat with Brandon about getting help to track and spy target. ..
*Don't search it on TH-cam because they have no accounts there, look up their name on google from your phone's browser to take you directly to their platform* ..
This excellent-hacking website continues to impress, I like the way spy services are delivered. And it is refreshing to see all Text and calls source of others. Keep up the good work Brandon on *Futureimperativecorps* 👍 ..
The consistency and quality spy services and content of *future imperative corps* never disappoints! Thanks once again *future imperative corps💯💯* ..
The way you gracefully pulled off the work - I am so proud of you. Thanks for going through all the hassle and making them worth it. I got full access of my girl’s account through the help of Brandon on *Future imperative corps* . I strongly recommend him y’all..
Highly Recommended. ..
I can not tell you how valuable your videos have been to help me deal with the trauma of a 20 year relationship with a narcissist.
Being in a relationship with a narcissist is really exhausting because they will never accept that they are wrong but instead put all the blame on you to make them feel good for themselves. Better think for yourself because you are the one who will suffer in the future.
Additionally, they will project all of their negative personality traits off on you and or even in a smear campaign against you.
But what if you are in a relationship with someone who’s perception of reality is so warped that they are wrong, and you’re left having to explain why they’re wrong just so that they can function normally?
A New Love Official coming out of relationship like that, this is spot on
Suffer and regret so much!
Get out of hat relationship unless you enjoy that system.
"Manage your expectations, otherwise your heart is going to break on a daily basis." That's good advice regardless of whether or not you are dating a narcissist.
Non-narcissist will make sure they keep you happy, by meeting you on the eye level. Within a reason, of course.
Angelica Guerrero true
Dr Ramani is beyond brilliant. she knows so much and understood so much !!! Bless her thousan times. And note : I tried for 6 years to change my parter. Now I know it will never happen in his lifetime. Never. Go away !! Run !
Dr Ramani needs her own TH-cam channel omg
yes dr RAMANI
She has her own channel but there aren't many videos and there not of a high quality of production.
Agreed, she's cool
Khushi She’s absolutely brilliant!!
Check out the youtube channels of Quinn Holliday (narcissism expert) and Sam Vaknin (self-confessed narcissist and narcissism expert). Also, brilliant in their own way.
Narcissists also compulsively lie to look good or to get what they want. As an empath, I believed every word.
Empath? Lmao not a real thing.
@@Banishedsoulsofficial 🤣 lol What since when are you a psychologist
@@Banishedsoulsofficial ıt's not the X-Men shit you think they are saying idiot
@@Banishedsoulsofficial you're in middle school maximum
Omg I remember showing my ex his text messages to me just to prove what he had said to me before….that was such an exhausting relationship 🙄
I determined a long time ago that my husband was a Narcissist he seems to take joy out of making any given situation miserable & yes I have been gaslighted & my therapist once presented me a cut-out article.on a Narcissist but recently he seems to have a sadistic attitude about my Granddaughter who is 5 mths old & I take great joy in being with her & he seems to be jealous of my time with her & I say to myself "ah still the same old husband" & he is never going to change he can't bring himself to join in but is very critical of any time I talk about her.....very sick man, but I am refusing to let him steal my joy!!
I doubt that too many narcissists date each other. They look for specific traits in partners that indicate that they’ll be able to control or manipulate them. Two narcissists would piss each other off very quickly.
Yes they are vultures looking to rape their victims of their joy,,attention,time,food,resources whatever they can devour from their prey. Narcissist are too selfish to entertain a fellow narcissist. They don't give only looking to gain !!!!! Human Parasites 🙁
Probably true but in my case my mom and my step dad were together for 13 years and they both were narcissist. It was very tough.
@@Lilfairyxo I know the difficult upbringing and deprivation of love at the hands of one parent, my mom.I can't even imagine what you endured.I just pray you have overcome the past !!
They look for empath people
My parents are both Narcs and hate each other.
Gaslighting feels so weird. I’ve always wondered what that feeling was. So many times I’m left scratching my head with a creepy feeling coming over and a sick realization that I think I’m losing my mind but also knowing that something not quite right is happening here.
Paige Herrin, you look stunning 🌹 🌹🌹🌷 🌷🌺🌹 🌹🌷 🌷
Paige Herrin,You don't deserve to be with a narcissist 😈!
That was your inner voice, hunny. I hope you were able to trust her to improve things for yourself!
I had that feeling. I felt it when I was reading emails from my ex where he was gaslighting and projecting his behavior onto me. Something told me to stop reading the email and to delete them all. That if I kept reading his lies, it would cause me to lose my sanity. When you start to feel yourself doubting reality because they tell you what you know happened didn't happen, you have to leave as quickly as possible and not go down that rabbit hole.
It’s the worst feeling in the world. Only a true villain would gaslight someone
This, this info would have been a gold mine for me if I had known all those years ago what narcissistic behavior looked like. This needs to be implemented in the school systems for our children at a very early, but safe, time in their journey to becoming healthy adults. We needed this so long ago, but hey, better late than never. Ck that out. Implementing the knowledge in our schools. Thanks.
I was in an on and off relationship for 2 years with a narcissist. Every trait she listed he had almost every single one. I always excused his behavior because I loved him, but being in a new relationship and seeing how my new partner is so different is actually mind boggling.
I’m so glad to hear you got out of there. I’ve had several narcissists in my life. It’s awful
When I told my narcissist ex I feel hurt about what he said, he would say: you just want to make me feel guilty, you are manipulating me.🙄
Same :(
Mine used to say everyone is responsible for their happiness after saying hurtful words. So not even allowed to be upset! Evil!!
Classic comeback from a true narcissist.
Hey our minds are different so next time a bitch or a fool say you are manipulate my life .rise up ass..hole and stand to your government
Or “okay. Feel whatever. If you feel like I don’t care then feel So. If you feel that I don’t love then feel so” THEY DONT CARE
Don't ever stay with a toxic person. Toxic is poison
jhing bangayan that’s what you think. Having just broken free from someone that is I dated for only a month; I can tell you that it’s not until you are in it fully that you realise what’s just happened. It’s only in hindsight that you see that the throw away comment was actually a big set-up
Everybody that’s narcissistic aren’t toxic
Devonta White joking right?!?
@zumzy u BS moron
NOT ALWAYS THAT SIMPLE ….you talk a good game tho.
This was some of the best advice I've ever heard and trust me, I really needed to hear this. Thank you!
Knowledge is POWER. Thank you, nay...BLESS you for sharing it. The undertone of well-timed humor makes it all the more palatable. 💖
Your metaphors have trained me to hit the powder room before conjuring you on my cell.
I heard a valuable relationship adage long ago. "Don't focus only on how you feel about the other person. Focus on how the other person makes you feel about yourself."
Good one!!!!
Deep...right now I've been focusing on how I feel about him and actually trying to dismiss how he's made me feel
That's good.
Great advice
Wow! You nailed it.
My ex had seven of these six traits.
@My Channel youre implying that narciscists dont attract people without NPD which is false bud
OR opposites attract ,, in fact each narcissist needs a victim and they have an inate instinct for finding 'damaged' people to make their victims. My ex saw my damage and played on it until it was too late and I was in his web and then gave me just enough affection to keep me there while all the time hurting me in hundreds of ways. I foolishly thought that love would change him but their vision of 'love' being self love he didn't need mine, only my presence.
My wife has 35 of the 30 traits.
😂😂😂
hahahah
I really appreciate Dr Ramani sharing her knowledge! Unfortunately I have had a tendency of being attracted to narcissists in the past. Now I'm aware of it I hope I can spot the signs before I get too close to someone like that again.
I'm most sure that Brandon of *future imperative corps* is the solitary individual here that is really ready to complete this without any kind of grumble, I'm genuinely thankful to him for since, supposing that it weren't for him I wouldn't have discovered that my sweetheart was not the slightest bit steadfast from the beginning
Search *Future imperative corps* to chat with Brandon about getting help to track and spy target. ..
*Don't search it on TH-cam because they have no accounts there, look up their name on google from your phone's browser to take you directly to their platform* ..
This excellent-hacking website continues to impress, I like the way spy services are delivered. And it is refreshing to see all Text and calls source of others. Keep up the good work Brandon on *Futureimperativecorps* 👍 ..
The consistency and quality spy services and content of *future imperative corps* never disappoints! Thanks once again *future imperative corps💯💯* ..
The way you gracefully pulled off the work - I am so proud of you. Thanks for going through all the hassle and making them worth it. I got full access of my girl’s account through the help of Brandon on *Future imperative corps* . I strongly recommend him y’all..
Highly Recommended. ..
My experience is that a narcissistic person won't let you have close friends. Because they are so jealous and want to have all your attention 24/7.
extremely jealous
unbelievable gaslighting. They are much like poorly raised badly behaving children in many ways
I just got my best friend back after 10 years. Her narcissist husband made her stop being friends with me - he did that with ALL her friends, not just me - but I ran into her over the summer and it was like we'd never been seperated!
He FUCKING HATES ME, now, because she didn't even know, until I pointed it out a few months ago, that she and their 6 kids have been his victim since she met him as a teenager, 22 years ago. Now she's divorcing him! 🎊🎉🎆
The sad thing is that it's not his fault, he was physically, mentally, verbally, and emotionally abused by his mother and his father was also a victim and abused him because he was told to by the mother. She's a sick, sick fuck. And her son, and now grandchildren, have been affected in such a negative way; any other type of crime would be punishable by death!
Ann Wijns exactly , he use to get mad at me when my girlfriends Come to spend the night .
my narc was jealous as hell and used to check my phone, read d chats and has asked to keep me d last seen on so to check wether i was talking to someone in night or not ,didn't allow me talk to my friends, used to gaslight a lot!