I am going to family court because I told the flying monkeys I will cut their wings off I was not scared of them but I was supposed to be I don't have a family with my former Nurses Aide I never had children with her and I never even been to her apartment down the street but I'm going to Family Court cuz this is Genesee County New York a place I don't want to be anymore. But due to financial troubles I cannot move and I have one leg and I have no Nurses Aide and I never will again after what she did to me. Every single thing you said has happened to me and it's really bad real bad if you have your own mental illness to begin with it's ridiculous the way those people are
They say they were emotionally abused when they did not talk to me because I was ghosted. And I said what I thought about being ghosted having no closure when I should have probably said nothing
I'm 4 weeks into moving completely different states the emptiness and levels of loneliness are shattering for the mind.. I feel the hoovering beginning and i feel slightly vulnerable but my worth has built a little... I dont know what hurts more that they hold onto you and dont want you to leave or the feeling of just being instantly replaced as if you where never anything to begin with. I am still extremely jumpy intensely paranoid I even see things such as shadows in my pirifial vision it makes me feel so broken and so crazy just constantly on edge and flipping between feeling content that I am safe and feel so empty I miss him. He not only put his hands on me but my mum. I'm so shattered. Im so proud I left but I'm so shattered
My therapist told me that if my ex husband really loved me, why would he physically emotionally and psychologically abuse me? And that’s the moment I knew this was all a power game to him. Narcissists aren’t capable of love. They take and take until there’s nothing left. 4 days free. Pray for me.
They will never accept responsibility for their part of the breakup ! Anything they did wrong is because of something you did ! Even though you didn’t do it !
@@CeciliaGonzalez-bi3yh It’s absolutely amazing how they play the victim ! I had my own family members turning on me ! Eventually they realized how manipulative she was ! I’m a pretty sharp guy but I must admit she had me fooled for a long time and had me feeling guilty for things I didn’t even do ! Crazy smh
@@vincentmaniscalco4421 I'm in a situation similar my family would think it's all me if I left. He even had my sister fooled once. She wouldn't speak to Me for three years. It's definitely heartbreaking
@@CeciliaGonzalez-bi3yh Like I said they are very good playing the victim ! My relationship ended about 8 months ago and my mind is so much more at ease ! I spent so much time defending myself for things I didn’t do ! Now I realize she knew I didn’t do what she was accusing me of ! But she had me back peddling and believing I was making her sick ! Smh looking back in retrospect I feel stupid but I’m not going to allow my past to dictate my future ! So I’m hoping the right woman comes into my life ! I’m waiting… lol we will see 🙂
The thing that resonates the most, is the making you look like the bad one. They chip, chip, chip away until you literally break. Then they call you crazy.
I'm at that point now, I saw his social profile, after almost 3 years, I'm no where to be seen, he introduced me by first name (unless it's an "old male friend"), his last post was 2016. We've been arguing for a few days. I'm at my wits end.
I can’t understand this so it literally hurts my brain when it happens don’t know if that’s just me.. Im patient….. then they chip it away and tell me I don’t have patience because by the time screaming starts I’m packing my stuff anymore
!yeah. i thought he changed but once he said- he fought with his sister, and second he was so tired of a girl who kept calling him even tho he wasn't interested in her genuinely but said nice things to her face. disgusting!
Left 6 days ago. Gathered my things quietly and got out after 4 years of marriage and a 7 year relationship. My heart goes out to anyone who is going through this 💔
True, though to be honest, I feel like unless you're really close with someone, sadly most of human relationships are business-like like that. People tell me all the time that I have a "good heart" but they don't really care about that, they only care if I can make them feel good about themselves or if they can get some practical benefits by knowing me.
That was EXACTLY the case with my ex. He has autism and wasn't able to meet any of my emotional needs, and he asked me to explain to him the kinds of things I would like to hear from him to feel close to him and like he liked me and loved me. I literally had to explain to him what giving a compliment and saying nice things about people is like. It was a completely alien concept to him. The best he could come up with was telling me how much he appreciates all the chores I did for him. That was the best he could come up with. He didn't like a single thing about ME, only liked how I benefitted HIM. When he would make comments about ME, they were always such extremely negative and toxic and hurtful things - I'm apparently the dumbest person to have ever walked the earth, completely unskilled and untalented at everything ESPECIALY in comparison to him, etc. And when I asked him to try harder and think about qualities about ME, not about what I DO, he said there was nothing special about me, so how could he possibly do that??
@@Wes-Tyler I know exactly how you feel. All relations with others for narcissists are relationships of convenience: all for their own self-perversion. You have constantly prove that you're a good person to them, and it's never enough. The best thing to do is to get out of narcissistic relationship, and once you're out, stay out.
They replace you before you leave. They have a line of takers on the back burner just waiting for the day that you decide to have boundaries and "abandon them" even though they've already abandoned you.
@@mykeprior3436 uhhh no, it was an ignorant comment. I could go in with logic, explaining that your argument is invalid because you’re ascribing a behavior to a group based on the behavior of some members of that group, or I could go in a more social/anecdotal direction and point out that men cheat just as much as women do, but at the end of the day I have no idea what exactly would get through to someone who is so unable to process the pain they’re experiencing that they let it twist up into blind, ignorant hatred. I hope you get some therapy and figure this out before you hurt a woman, physically or emotionally, to punish her for the pain she did nothing to cause.
@@mykeprior3436 no not all women do this. I am 55 years old and have never ever done this. None of my friends have ever done this to their husbands either.
“Narcissists don’t like to be left”, yet THEY’RE the ones discarding people and ruining the relationships. It’s so twisted! Like, who has all that time and energy to go out and do all that???
My husband told me he didn't want to be with me mind you we have been together for 11 years and married for 8 and a half years I told him when we met in 2010 I couldn't have anymore kids ( due to endometriosis) and he was fine with that so he claimed at the time we had conversations about it he did want his own kids, which was strange to me, and then all of a sudden a month ago he tells me he has to decide whether or not he wants to be with me because he now wants his own kids, just threw us away he has no use for us now after 11 years we mean ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO HIM. I've been great to him loved him with all of me did everything for him. Now IAM the one hurt and devastated and he could care less, it's terrible
Meet my bd. He stays getting new relationships. Always on social media lying to obtain multiple relationships. He's attractive and keeps his body in physical shape...his sex is over the top. So he's extremely confident in his web. He expects total faithfulness from every chick while they accept he's not going to be. Even tho I got out he still expects me to not get into another relationship because I'm the mother of HIS kids. Meanwhile, he had another kid by another woman and expects her to be celibate too...unless she gets it from him. If you don't he tells ppl all kinds of lies about you and turn ppl against you. It's a crazy life.
@@leahflower9924 no...he's a full fledged narcissist. He's a player too. I kept being like wtf is wrong with you?! It took learning the behaviors of a narcissist to realize that's what I was dealing with.
I just left my narcissist boyfriend today after he did me so dirty. Im going through a very bad breakup. Please pray for me. I just feel hopeless and ready to end it all😔😢
@@pablojackson9051 thank you so much guys..sorry that it took me a whole month to see this.I ended up breaking no contact and going back and a few days later the abuse got worst..so I went no contact again and it’s 4days. I’m not going
That is a natural feeling ...you are among friends here .. love yourself first .. in the end you will say what was I thinking ... you are a strong empath .. they can’t destroy us we come back stronger .. it will all be ok
The reality is: anxiety, depression, smoking, isolation, eating disorders, panick attacks, distrust from your family and friends, lack of goals, low self steem, not recognizing yourself, feelings of betrayal, lies, stress, insomnia, skin problems, hearing all the time from outsiders" love yourself", anger, sadness, bags under the eyes, high blood pressure..and tbe worst " failing to the own self . Many of us hide it in order to look " normal" to others while the pain is inside eating the immune system..if you are ready to run: Run for your sanity asp , dont look back, its not about loving yourself cliche. Its about saving your sanity, your mental health. Run far away .
I wasn't even in a relationship with my narcissist. When I tried dating him he said my emotional reactions were the problem (not his lack of empathy, which was what made me emotional) and if I could change that everything would be fine. He would keep me in the friends with benefits stage so he could push and pull me when he pleased. It was really jarring to finally realize what was happening to me. I thought I was going crazy. I set my boundaries and walked away.
This is so enlightening. I did not realize I was a victim of narcissistic abuse until you perfectly described the most volatile and traumatizing relationship I have ever endured. Wow. No wonder I'm still affected years later. Here's to healing.
At the same time I am so happy to have leaned about psychology. To understand why some people treat you badly. They always say it has nothing to do with me and I finally understand what that means and that helps me deal with it. It helped so much with all my current and future relationships.
Yea I see years later I’m be dealing with this marriage failure but this video tremendously helps me but I will never be the same I will NEVER love the same
Narcissists move VERY fast in relationships. It's not uncommon to hear, “I love you", and/or be bombarded with love songs/texts/memes a few weeks after meeting them. By rushing into sex/intimacy, they fast-forward the relationship. They get their targets to fall for them before he/she can realize something is amiss. I believe this is also the reason they tend to be VERY good lovers. Sex is usually the “hook” in toxic relationships. Narcissists lack genuine personalities. So, they mirror their targets. If you find you have “so much in common" with a new person, your likes are their likes, and your dislikes are coincidentally their dislikes as well, raise your antennas! They may be mirroring you. This is the “soulmates" hook… You'll also notice that they'll spend more time telling you who they are, verses showing you. As time goes on, you'll notice the words they used to describe themselves do not fit their personality - at all. But, they will fit YOURS!!! Passive-aggressive behavior and irrational/unexplained anger, are also major red flags. Pay attention to how a person treats you the first time you say, “No”, and/or when things don't go their way… If they give you the silent treatment, grow cold, and/or pull away, do not overlook it! Most importantly, if someone pulls away, or goes silent, after you set a boundary - DO NOT pursue them! This is how they groom you to be the chaser in the relationship. It's emotional abuse/manipulation! Pay close attention to people who portray themselves as victims. NOTHING is EVER their fault! EVERYONE, including the family pet, has done them wrong… ALL of their ex's are “crazy” and mistreated them… They’re great, but no one appreciates said greatness… Simply put, it's bullshit! No one should have a laundry list of bad experiences. If they do, RUN, because they're the common denominator! Narcissists tend to have a history of failed/short-term relationships. Believe it or not, it's hard for Narcissists to find people to deal with them long term due to their instability and poor behavior… Superficial relationships/friendships. I've noticed they don't have anyone they're genuinely close to. This is due to their inability to bond and form true attachments to people. Their relationships are shallow and based on surface-level bs. They'll refer to someone as their bestfriend, but you’ll notice they barely speak. Or, that the person is never really around. Or, only shows up when it's time to party, etc. They may also speak down on/poorly of said “bestfriend” behind their back. Narcissists tend to be condescending, two-faced and downright mean! Based on my experience, they cannot talk about deep subjects (i.e. fears/emotions). Or, how a situation truly made them feel. Or, what their childhood was like in detail… They don't want to go there. I suspect, it's because they can't. They don't know themselves well enough. They can't connect. They also live in a world of dishonesty. They're very dishonest with themselves about who they truly are. A poor relationship with their Mother/primary caregiver. Underlying issues between Narcissists and their Mother's (abuse, neglect, don’t get along, etc.), seems to be common. People that I've known who've displayed strong Narcissistic tendencies, ALL had bad relationships with their Mothers! I think it's worth mentioning, their Mother's also displayed strong Narcissistic traits… I'm fully aware and understand that there are healthy adults who have toxic Mother's. However, if you're spotting several red flags in an individual, including this one, pay closer attention! They're selfish! Some are selfish from the very beginning. Some start out generous and slowly begin withholding. Some act helpless and needy. They manipulate people into doing things for them, but never give back. It's not only financial and material selfishness. They're selfish emotionally, affectionately, conversationally. sexually and with their attention. They withhold validation and support. EVERYTHING has to be about them, their needs, their wants and everything happens on their terms. Anger, rage, silent treatments and disappearing acts are common - when they don't get their way. Pathological lying. Narcissists are professional liars. It's their second nature. If you call them out, they'll have no issue staring deeply into your eyes as they tell another lie! You'll hardly ever get the truth. Even with unchallengeable proof of the truth, they'll hold on to the lie. It's actually quite fascinating to see them in action - once you know what you’re dealing with. They also have the uncanny ability to provoke doubt in their victims (even when you KNOW the truth), because their lies are so convincing! Beware of people who do not seek conflict resolution. Many Narcissists enjoy drama/chaos! Remember, these are high-conflict personalities. Many of them NEED to argue and fight! Peace to a narcissist, is what chaos is to non-disordered people - unsettling. This is why they repeat behaviors that trigger a negative response. They need tension, anger and high/out of control emotions. They're known for calling people crazy, drama queens, insecure, etc., but never admit what they did to provoke those responses. And, when you attempt to discuss/resolve something, THEY said/did, they’ll gaslight, stonewall and/or flip it back on to you. They're extremely disrespectful, rude and lack self-awareness. They have an issue with being called out on their behavior and project/deflect to avoid accountability. “Normal” people want to get along, for the most part. So, they seek fair compromises when conflict arises. Narcissists want to “win” and conflict IS their niche. This is how many Narcissists get their way - they wear people down via conflict. Immaturity. It’s one thing to be playful and lighthearted (in appropriate settings), as an adult. It’s something completely different to be immature. Narcissists suffer from arrested development. They do not know how to respond to situations/people/stress/life appropriately. They have a child-like mindset. They truly believe everything is about them and have no concept of the needs of others. By nature, children are takers. They have no concept of reciprocation. They believe their Parents (and everyone else), exists to meet their needs. When their needs aren’t met, or they don’t get what they want, they become mean and throw tantrums. Narcissists cannot think outside of themselves and their wants/needs - like children. They’re completely unaware that people are individuals with their own agency, needs, wants, opinions... They truly believe people exist to serve them. They believe their job is to receive. They’re children trapped in adult bodies, who cannot consider anything/anyone other than themselves! Above everything I've stated, trust your intuition! Narcissists give off an uneasy vibe. They try very hard to appear cool, calm and collected - on the surface. But, you can feel their energy. It's very off-putting. They also tend to have more noticeable negative qualities, than most people. But, you have to stop justifying and making excuses, in order to see things clearly. Accept people for who they are and not who you want them to be. Observe, listen and trust yourself. No one should be allowed to grant themselves a position in your life. Vet people and YOU decide if they'll be a liability, or an asset, to you. Lastly, take cues from your body. If you ever feel your mood changing, feel anxious or feel your stomach knot up, in the company of someone, don't dismiss it! It could be a sign that you're in bad company!!! Additionally, If you suspect cheating or other forms of manipulation and need to gather evidence for your own peace of mind, you may consider reaching out for assistance. For more information, you can contact: MetaspyHub@gmail. com.
Great info and advice, thank you. 🙏 🙏 I would however respectfully disagree with the child analogy: my 6yo and 2yo have both shown more genuine love and concern for me than my narc ex-friend ever did.
I wish I’d known about narcissistic people and relationships much earlier in life. These relationships cause so much harm. Thank you for this amazing video!
Yes true but what the person is saying is that people with a mental illness cannot change and this is absolutely not true. It is the fact that she doesn't know how to do it. And it also depends on the person how long they are able to detach from someone in a romantic relationship and as you age with mental strength, you can do this with more ease.
"A narcissist will not leave someone unless they have some waiting in the wings". Bingo. After 10 years of being abused emotionally and ignored and gaslighted I finally stopped giving my narcissist his attention. Within nine months he found someone else and left me. It's been 10 Years… I'll take that parade now!
I always thought I was alone and it must be me. Not now. I see there's a pattern that starts early. Self respect too. If he invites you on date and then disappears for 30 minutes into the men's room. Say no to that move onto someone else and another date with someone else Shouldn't treat you like that. I deserved better. And, don't want to find out what else he would do.
I will remember that your Narc and you are never alone in the relationship. He's got someone waiting in the wings ready to swoop right in. As soon as you see odd things going on. You will know what to do. That goes for others in life. The moment someone acts disrespectful don't give them another chance. They won't change. Chances are their friends will support them too. Get rid of all of them as soon as you can. My advice is not tell them your plans even it takes months. Then go silent cut communication permanently. Be prepared for anything. This includes your boss, your landlord( try to get out of your lease or just don't renew it) , Living next to crazy loud neighbors, your boyfriend, husband, friends. Leaving it open for less stress, meet more positive people, a better life and better self esteem. Makes you healthier and happy.
@@user56gghtf It sure was a nasty divorce--even after all this time--i am still too Wary to try again--i know theres someone out there waiting in the wings--i need a wee prod sometimes to help me on my way--J--Greetings from Scotland.
@@user56gghtf Yes--Thanks---people don't realise what i went through--she broke me every way she could think of and then some--ill take my own sweet time--Thanks for getting back to me--J.
Yep. My ex had already cheated on me and I, foolishly, stayed (for almost two months) because he made me feel guilty for being upset. He told me it wasn't a big deal and I was kind of convinced, but it still didn't sit right with me. However, his habits changed. He was "busy" more often. Blew up at me about "taking up too much of his time", which makes little since in an long distance relationship where HE was the one controlling when we spoke. Was on his phone a lot more often than in the entire time I'd known him. I knew something was up and when I'd ask, he would get defensive. A few weeks after we officially broke up, he was with someone new, and I have a good feeling that he was talking to her before we had even broken up. I think he saw me getting more and more frustrated, so he had started lining up someone new.
@@nickylove8612 I ended it in August, but we communicated again in December, and that's when I blocked her in every way imaginable. I have moments when I want to call, but I tell myself to remember the lies, hurt, the tears, and the alcoholism. I SURVIVED A NARCISSIST!
Well that's good to hear Hun, I'm glad your healing keep on getting thru this 🙏🏾🙏🏾 you got this babygirl 💪🏾💪🏾, that alcohol can become very scary and dangerous mixed with their anger issues SMH, be safe take care and God Bless you
@@nickylove8612 Thank you so very much for the kind words. I had never been in this type of relationship before (with a woman/alcoholic), so it was very difficult once her true-self started coming out. The threats to me took me over the edge, and that's when I knew I had to walk away, which was hard too because in my mind I could fix her. But my intellectual side kicked in...and I knew only SHE could fix herself. I'm still healing so I don't walk into another situation like the one I had with her.
I just left an emotionally abusive narc bf about two months ago and oh my god, he’s made leaving just as bad as being with him. I’m just happy to finally be out of such a toxic relationship. I thought about leaving him two years ago, but it’s actually really hard and I didn’t realize how hard it is until you’re going through with it. If you’re in the process of leaving or have already left a narcissist, I’m proud of you and you’re strong! You got this! 💜
I'm in the same boat i didn't even realise what was happening to me until i removed my self from the situation i also have a little girl with him so i still have to see him and try to be civil even though hes trying to make my life hell still. I've been so naive :'(
I need to get my furniture and work stuff at his place. He is blatantly ignoring my calls, texts all I want is curtesy to come pack my stuff and leave... Frustrated 😭
Yes, leaving them is so hard.. They almost make it impossible. All the new new promises of changing themselves, how much they love you, how lost you'll be without them. I tried to leave after so many failing attempts of making him see hus faults... But god, that was a battle itself, he manipulated the situation so badly that in end i was the one saying sorry amd feeling bad and trapped. But after 4 months of trying to break up I finally gathered enough courage and stop talking to him. I'm so emotionally and mentally exhausted. But it was worth it. Now I'm just scared of him. I have blocked him from everyapp. But He keep messaging me on gmail bcuz gmail still shows msgs on spam folder after blocking. I'm not replying to him but god I'm so scarrd of him after seeing msgs daily even after 1 month of breakup and his calls from random numbers. I don't know what to do now. If anyone have any suggestions, pls help
It’s so hard specially when feelings are involved I’m so so hurt I can’t bear this but I can’t keep suffering like this everyday cursing screaming putting me down etc . I feel so low and I never felt like this before :( I can’t believe I deserve this cause I feel like I treated him so nice for so long :( I simply don’t understand 💔 what I did to deserve to be treated like that :(
"made leaving just as bad as being with him" sounds about right. I'm not a huge Henry Rollins fan but he has a song called "Liar" go listen to that song the lyrics will resonate so well it's scary
I started seeing a guy recently..and he really quickly started being possessive, passive aggressive, and super red-flaggy... It didn't even last a month..he started acting extra weird, and ended up ghosting me for a week. When he got back to me.. he said he "was actually in a relationship" - something he hadn't planned - and that he thought I would be happy for him, since we were just friends. He said it was magical. 🤣🤣😭
I kick myself for not listening to my ex when he dropped hints about his mental issues, narcissism or psychopathic/sociopathic. I remember he told me at the beginning that his ex said he was "Unemotional and detached". I also knew she'd left her belongings when she left. I should have trusted my gut. Always trust your gut.
I feel the same way. I was actually his "friend" when he was with his ex before me. He'd tell me all this stuff she would do, which turned out to be stuff HE did in relationships. He also had horrible communication with her, so I should have known that was going to be an issue with us. I should have listened to the fact that he liked to ignore his mental illnesses and act as if he didn't have them. I have depression and anxiety, too, so it confused me why he was so weird about them because he had initially connected because of them. I always feel like there was more that he wasn't telling me, but he was never truly open with me; it was this surface openness that I mistook for real vulnerability. I kick myself because I know I had so many signs and he told me things himself, but I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt all the time. Didn't help that he'd make it seem like all his breakups before were his partner's fault and I should have seen that as a sign, too.
This! My ex told me so many things like that right out. I mean even to the point of saying "all my exes left me after 4 months, no one could stay with me longer than that". My dumb ass stayed on and off for over a year. But at 3 months is when he started being an insane jerk.
Just threw my abusive narcissist boyfriend out of my life for good. I was used for too long. I didn't even recognize myself in the mirror, everything revolved around him. I'm not fully healed, everyday is easier. It's been just a little under a month.ive been isolated from friends, certain family. I hear he is telling people I was the bad one, ha, he used me financially, a place to live, sexually and a punching bag. That's alright, I still have my apartment and job, he has neither, just a list of legal issues now. I am moving on, while he is latching on to something and someone else. I love Dr.Ramani videos. It helps me get ready for my day. Thank you!
Good on you! I've just left a narcissistic relationship as well and it definitely felt like a relationship of convenience. It feels like it's going to take forever to heal but I'm determined to get through it.
@@blueskiies you will get through it. I sometimes ponder how the hell I survived that asshole. But I made it and so will you. Not easy but it does get easier.
I'm over three months narc free and no contact. It's hard but it does get better and I'm sure Elliott's new supply is already starting to see the mask come off😳
I just left my narcissistic relationship of 8 years. This relationship consisted of him cheating, lying, emotional/physical abuse - there was point during our relationship where he would refer to me as a dog and say he needed to train me to be more obedient. Not even 10 minutes after we broke up he had another date set up. I’m one day free and although I’m heartbroken and sad I’m finally realizing that this next girl is only gonna go through exactly what I went through. Good luck to her I guess.
He's a horrible monster that you should have, to quote my dad (in response to the videos I showed my dad of some of the abuse I went through; and me telling him that my "boyfriend" took my car keys from me to make me stay), run away screaming from; and he's going to be even worse in the future. He might be able to manipulate things better thanks to what he learned from you lol (I can guarantee you that's what my ex is doing), but that's only going to delay the inevitable of him being the most horrendous monster on planet Earth to this new victim.
I'm reading this and crying.I'm going through what you went..He calls me who*e, dog etc..I'm planing to leave in the morning and never come back.Hope you are doing ok.
I think they make you come back just so they can dump you. Because to them they can’t fathom being dumped. It’s a revenge plan for them. Like “you dare leave me? No one leaves me, I leave you”
Yes this has happened twice to me. After I called quits from sheer frustration they would indicate we could work things out and just string me along. The first one took me a month until they said "oh I've found someone else now" the second one I picked up what was happening after a week and called it quits for good. It's really shit behaviour. The first one tried to hoover but had no such luck. 🤣
This exact thing happened to me. I almost called it quits on a Wednesday, they turned the conversation around and took me out on a Friday then broke up with me less than 24 hrs later.
@@yoki1234 this happened to me. I was about to break it off with him over the phone (we were long-distance). He hung up on me the sent me a voice memo that he was breaking up with me! Later, he sent me a hateful email of all the reasons he broke up with me. And it was all projection!
And everyone remember: narcs are miserable evil human beings, don’t miss them, be glad to live without them. Forget them but don’t forget the lesson, we can now more easily recognize the narcs.
It breaks my heart and I’m literally crying right now because I have been through the worst relationship with the most terrible kind of narcissistic person. I feel so sorry for that old me. I’m very happy in life now but the thought of someone killing you, crushing your soul completely to a point where you feel as if you’re a piece of garbage, who was thrown out on the street and this person picked you up and helped you. Seriously its the most disgusting feeling.
The confusion you experience while with a covert narcissist is indescribable. I've had boyfriends that were abusive but it's just so different. CN are so convincing that not only will the things they do break your heart but it completely throws u off because it's something u can't even picture them doing. If that makes sense. They make u believe they are a certain kind of person not capable of doing the things that your ex's did or what would hurt u most. That's what's so confusing then they blame u somehow because it's always your fault. I have been with a covert narcissist for 10yrs. No matter how many times I have been through the cycle or seen him rage I still can't picture it when he is love bombing me. Its the craziest thing. I guess everyone is different but for me the constant state of confusion is the absolute worst and most abusive part. But there are plenty other ways they abuse their partners… Withholding and silent treatment. You feel like your going to explode inside. Mine does this so I freak out and then he can blame me for the argument. Physically abusive. When a CN feels trapped they will do anything they can to regain that power and control. Or take something from you what u won't give them. Sexually abusive. Blaming u for watching porn, sex shaming u, withholding sex, having sex with u while your asleep. Blaming you for everything. Blaming you for having to blame you! Additionally, If you're facing a difficult decision about divorce and need proof of infidelity, working with a private investigator could provide clarity. In some states, even though "no fault" divorce is common, having evidence of infidelity might still help in certain situations. If you're looking for professional, discreet support to uncover the truth, you might want to reach out to MetaspyClubLLC@gmail. com for guidance. Taking this step can give you the confidence to move forward.
Hang in there it WILL get better but not immediately. Healing from these relationships can take so very long because we can spend so much time ruminating on the narcissist and the "relationship", but in 5-7 years you will LAUGH at the absurdity of it all. You need to heal. This can take an extraordinarily long time if you can't find a way to accept that you were totally snowed/duped/used as supply by this person. The faster you can accept that, and learn from it, the faster your brain (and yes, it is your brain that needs to heal from the confounding behavior of that narcissist that defies all logic and human decency) will stop ruminating and began to think of yourself. It is normal to think about what happened, but it can takes years of studying Cluster B disorders before you really comprehend what those people are, why they turned out that way, what happened in the 1st five years of their childhood that turned them into a narcissist before they even reached age 6, and that from the moment you met that narcissist they began playing you and will still play you today if you allow them to keep in touch with you. Good luck! I sincerely wish you the best as you begin to learn, heal, move on, and grow! Hopefully, Trump will be out of office soon so you won't have to see that windbag of a narcissist every day in the news, which may keep triggering your pain. Sending you love and a huge hug! Many of have been there, and now feel so grateful to have those energy-suckers out of our lives forever.
I left after 5 years.... he stalked me called me all types of names, lied on me. He even threatened to put pictures of me on the internet. At the same time was sending me gifts, emails, and texts telling me how much he loves me and how he will change if I come back.
This is why you never EVER allow someone to take nude photos of you, even if you are married to them. So happy for you that you got out and I hope you are able to stay out. You deserve better. Hold your head high and move on to someone who will treat you well and not love bomb you. Real love takes a long time to form. Instant relationships are a HUGE red flag, waving all over the place. Go S L O W L Y and make sure they respect you....as their equal.....before you ever become intimate (not a morality thing, just an emotionally mature and healthy way to enter into a relationship). If you got away, you survived a very toxic person. Be grateful. Take excellent care of yourself and be awesome!
Same basically. Mine even befriended my old lady neighbor so he could SPY on me! All the while he'd flip between gifting me and berating me... Depending on how he thought I was being sucked back in. It was terrible. He called me hundreds of times when I finally stopped responding.
I dated a narcissist for 3 months. He had a disturbing calmness and seemed to gloat when I was in pain about the relationship ending. It was very disturbing and I was in denial.The most emotion I saw on his face was when I said to him let’s end the relationship. There was shock on his face for about a second before he went back to calm. God, thank you for protecting me! 🙏🏾
Wow! The one I was with did that too.... She would smile for just a second. Then act like she loved me so much that she could never do the awful things I caught her doing.
Mine did also, and I was in a relationship with him for a year and a half. I told him I was done with him and that one day I hope he realizes how much I loved him and he said “good”
My couples therapist actually started siding with my narcissistic partner, and they made me feel crazy. The more I cried, the more I looked unstable. I remember that day vividly, and sadly, I think about it occasionally, which makes me realize how manipulative this person is. We share a child, and he is about to become a lawyer. I fear ending up like Betty from "Dirty John". Wish me luck, guys. I'm planning my way out.
This happened to me!!! The abuse escalated after the therapist told us it’s me!! She empowered him by siding with him! I had to get out immediately because it became life and death (he wasn’t physically harming me but he’d have me up all night, drunk, interrogating me, then I’d have to go to work. She made my marriage 10x worse and she halted any possibility for him to heal and become a better dad. The amount of damage she did is massive and it kills me to know she’s probably doing it to others.
No point going to relationship therapy unless you want to witness them at their most narcissistic best: it will be more brutal than you ever imaged in your wildest nightmare
Dr Ramani is GOLD!!! Listen to and follow EVERYTHING that she says. I was trapped in an abusive relationship with a sadistic covert narcissist, it was truly horrific. I followed her advice... I was able to escape, survive and now thrive!! Happiest I have ever been because I truly appreciate my freedom and have learned to love myself. The destination is totally worth the journey... don't give up!! You are worth it!!
It was messy, it was emotional, I was almost hoovered back but when I found out about narcissism I made a quick decision to just disappear and never contact them again. It is so disturbing how their mind works, after giving them tons of empathy, understanding and emotional support I was the one who apparently planned the break up just to hurt them even more because they were 'going through a difficult period' in their life. According to them, all along it was my evil plan... The moment I blocked all the available ways of contact I felt so free and happy again, the best decision ever! Narcissists have no conscience, they look out just for themselves. I don'y want to deal with people like that ever again in my life. The positive thing from all this mess was learning the red flags and how to spot these people. Please, if someone makes you feel confused, you keep apologising for stuff you didn't do and are afraid to say something because they'll get angry, get away from them as soon as possible! And trust your intuition! I ignored it, even though it kept telling me something is wrong right from the beginning.
Best thing you did was not go back. I ended up making the mistake of going back and our relationship ended with her cheating on me AFTER I was the one who came back and gave her the second chance.
so true!! I've just walked out of my relationship 5 days ago and it's been the hardest decision i've ever had to go through, but the emotional abuse was too much to bear & i literally don't want to even give him the time of day to 'Talk' to me about it all because they just confuse you even more and know how to pull you back in!
I was hoovered back 4 years ago. I broke free today. Thank you for helping me see the relationship and the abuse for what it really is. I won't be falling for it again. I can't believe how much I have been guilted just today. I honestly thought I was worthless. I was ready to take my own life. Today me and my daughter are safe in hiding.
This is so spot on! Just left my abusive & narcissistic relationship because it was constant lies and he cheated, not even 24 hours later he was with another woman. Narcissists will use you until you’re useless to them, but they ALWAYS come back. Always. It hurts
Full blown tantrums like a 6 yr. old never seen anything like it. Getting away is literally the fight of my life. At least I finally understand what I'm fighting. Thank you
I think us women can all agree that them getting the “new supply” hurts us the most and not because you’re jealous of her but because of how he did you so wrong and is now “happy”!😩
I agree..I think that is one thing I always have in my prayer when for him..I say Lord please dont him be with anybody else..If he is Lord..Dont let him ever walk back in my life again..
You realize the lie you were living and the narc was never a partner...and the reality hits you like a wall...I suggest keeping a journal to remember your original thoughts
I did this with my current narc who discarded me 2 weeks ago. I read back about all the things thst were just wrong over 3 years and instead of being hysterical im just dead numb.
Yup. My ex narc discarded and ended our engagement. I was so hurt. After realizing he was a narc and everything was fake. Oh man. It was hard and just truly hurtful. I’m picking myself back up. One day at a time.
After 2 hooverings, I've just ended it this morning. I'm proud of myself because I did it from a healthy place, and I did it with grace. I was polite, clear, and wished him well. His response was "So what?" Definitely did the right thing.
@@chelseaannemayte He messaged me a day later angrily blaming me for everything, and when that didn’t get the reaction he wanted he tried to guilt me into being friends. That’s worked on me before but this time I just said I didn’t think it was healthy. Radio silence for just over a month. Thought it was done, but he came back trying to lovebomb again. Super romantic and as though nothing had happened. Wants to see me and talk. Wants to try again. Don’t I remember how good it was? Don’t I know he loves me? I decided that polite indifference was worth a try. He got bored of short, unemotional responses that took days to arrive and it’s been a couple of weeks now since he bothered me. He’ll be back, but now I see what he is it’s harder for him to trigger me.
If you absolutely have to “deal” with a narc, I would recommend to keep firm bounderies, and keep your distance at the same time. As a second choose on how to deal with the narcissist I would recommend keeping firm boundaries and also to correct them every time they missteps, lie, manipulates etz. When your boundaries are not respected by the narcissist, you need to follow through with consequenses of bad behaviour. You will have your hands full going forward this way. When following through with consequenses to their “re”actions, you explain to the narc, that you are not one of the narc`s victims. You have no intentions of becoming one but will be a nuisance to the narcissist in a way that is irritating to him/her. This method is not risk free but narcissists will often choose the path of no or low resistance. This method is a time consuming path to chose. This route sometimes require more time than you would like to spend on these issues. You feel that distancing yourself all together would have been easier. That is however not always possible. Often there is no way to avoid him/her. You unfortunately have to deal with the narcissist because you are colleagues or close family. You must think through what you need the narcissist to respect and what arias of conflict you must pay extra attention to, to keep your integrity and to detect manipulative behavior. Be prepared and clear in your communication and stick to your guns. Try to stay under the radar as much as you can, even when this method is the best for you. A way that works as well is to play along with the narcissist and act like you agree with everything they do and say. This method works well until many people in the narcissists sphere do the same. When everyone agrees with the narcissist you are back on square one. The narcissist must have victims and this setting is no different. To go NO Contact is another good alternative and method, and is probably the best option when it is possible to cut all contact permanently. Additionally, That feeling when your partner cheated and you don't have the courage to leave him / her so you just death with the pain and live everyday asking questions about your worth. This pain is different from the cheating one_living and seeing him everywhere anticipating when him or she do it again. The best thing is to hire above private investigator Metaspyhub@gmail. com to help you spy on their cellphone remotely just like he did for me.
When you leave a narc, it feels like freedom from a cage or prison. Like you walked out of a storm into the sunshine or a dungeon into a bright beautiful day. Like you can breathe easier, relax, and see everything differently. A feeling of revelation. But that feeling can be short lived, unless you are prepared for what the narc you left may do next. The narcissist attack is sneaky, psychological and powerful. The only chance you have of defeating it is knowing about it and being prepared. The narc will likely be real calm, nice and even sweet. Apologetic, thoughtful, and things like that. But be prepared and don’t fall for it because it’s a trick to throw you off guard. Just remember, that this nice bit shouldn’t come after a breakup. The individual had the chance to be nice in the relationship and never was. So it’s always a trick, with no exception.
Narcissists don't form attachments to people, they attach other people to themselves. So when there is no attachment there, it's very easy to jump over to someone else. It's like throwing a pair of socks in the laundry and get a new clean pair right away.
I always used to say that I felt like a tou on the top shelf that never got played with until he was tired of the other toys and was bored and then pulled me off the shef hoping I would fill the void..for a while yes, until he got bored again and back on the shelf I went
To the point. The one I was semi-with professionally had me so caught up. The more I spent with her, I realized it was a literal I & me show, thought I was in the twilight zone. .. the more I gave, the more control she wanted too. As soon, like in a matter of a few hours mind you, but as soon as I exercised self power, choice, she ended it, no warning.
That comment about not wanting to leave because you fear they will be the person you want when you do to someone else is literally what I felt having just gotten out of an emotionally manipulating narcissistic relationship.
This is very strange to me. I have never been in a relationship like this but I watch these videos because my sister is in a really bad relationship and a close friend just got out of one. I am trying to get a better understanding of all of this. The idea that someone, whether male or female, would stay with someone so horrible because they might just be different for the next person makes no sense to me. I’m not trying to be rude but I’m trying to wrap my head around it. Why on earth would you want to stay with someone who does that period? Like…..so what if they change for another person. They aren’t changing for you so clearly they don’t want to or don’t have the capacity. Is it some kind of mental thing that they do over time to make someone think that?
For me it was the fear the person will get worse when I leave them. They made me feel like I was their moral compass keeping them together. I was scared they'd go full psychopath
i’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist for five years now, constant cheating and lying and gaslighting me. everytime we broke up he had a new girlfriend within a week. these videos have made me realize that he’s not going to change for me, i’m now going to slowly work on getting out of the relationship. thank you for posting these.
Your story is exactly the same as mine. We broke up for real this time and he posted a girl 2 weeks later on his socials with a heart ❤️ emoji 🤣💔 I’m hurting but, the sun will rise and we will try again👍🏽
The breakup with my narc ex boyfriend was one of the most painful experiences I’ve ever gone through. It hurts with mega agony inside and it feels like your stuck in loop of emotional pain triggers. Every day can be torcher especially when they hoover to get us bk with their love bomb overload. Having the ups and downs but when the emotions hit they hit hard. Always thinking he would change. It’s like u can’t detach. Times a great healer and through determination and day by u start to ease and get to a point u can get through the pain that eases gradually. I’m still healing but I know I got rid of him for a very good reason. Once u see the mask slip u see through them. It’s the memories of how they pretended that we yearn for again. Which is why we must remember their true within that is dark and miserable. They never let go but wonder off for a short time when they have other entertainment for their attention seeking needs. Hold on to that belief of who they really are ready for their next come bk.
Great video, A month ago, my five-year relationship came to an end. I really can't stop thinking about the love of my life, who made the decision to leave me. I've done everything in my power to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I genuinely miss him and just can't stop thinking about him, even though I've tried my hardest to stop thinking about him. I'm not sure why I'm saying this here.
It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
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I experienced the whole cycle.... I fell for the hoovering and the love bombing, devaluation and the discard was so quick that I am experiencing emotional whiplash. He had someone waiting.
@@petergriffinmk2884 hi. I would love to say that I am over it. The SINGLE best thing that I inadvertently did was "make voice notes" on my phone about something that he did. When I read these, I am reminded of the reality. Too often, we wear "fantasy colored" glasses viewing the intoxicating relationship. These real time notes remind me of the reality which helps me stay away from him. There is no doubt that the feelings for the other person were strong and thus easy to sit within the forefront of our thoughts. When we actually are faced with the sadness and disappointment we experienced with them we are held accountable to ourselves. We cannot escape into the world of emotional masturbation that the relationship was healthy, loving and respectful. You are not alone. Reach out as often as you want. Feel free to vomit your sadness and grief. There is someone here to hold your head and comfort you. ~ me
@@dlwsport250 Thank you so much I appreciate it. Its honestly one of the worst kind of mental abuses out there, bc you put so much faith and trust in the person and you genuinely feel like they love you, and you think that love is all you need in a relationship while ignoring all the red flags. My bf of 1.5 years was cheating on me the whole time with a girl. Everything we did and everything he said was a lie. I am now left with these 2 realities, one that demolished straight through my life a few days ago and flipped my whole world upside down when i saw their texts, and the other reality being the fantasy reality of thinking he was there for me and he was mine and he loved me and cared for me and never wanted to hurt me. Both of these realities are fighting it out in my mind and its so hard to erase the fantasy, because it was real for me. Hands down, the hardest thing ive ever had to endure.
@@dlwsport250 I have a question though. If you had a chance to get back at him for hurting you, would you? My bf is now still with his gf of 8 years and he seems so unfazed that im out of his life, even though i dedicated almost 2 years to him. Do you think she needs to know about the cheating? I would tell her, but she knows his family and friends and she might out him for being gay in front of everyone and he will get kicked out of the house and all his homophobic friends will leave him and he will be left alone in life. Im afraid if he were to go into depression and be all alone and might even commit suicide, i wouldnt be able to live with that burden. But I do think she deserved to know. Near the beginning of their relationship, the girl apparently went to him before her wedding night (she was getting an arranged marriage to another guy) and confessed her love for him. My ex being as selfish as he is, dragged her along, and so she got married and divorced 3 weeks later. And when I asked him, he still doesnt take any responsibility for that. I dont know what to do.
@@petergriffinmk2884 Ask yourself honestly, "How does it serve you to get back at him?" My ex said awful things about me to his family. Awful as in "she contributes to sexual abuse" This allegation is so hurtful and demeaning that I am still in a struggle to not reach out and clear my name. People hurt people on purpose to in essence keep them away with more threats of destroying your decency, your name and your character. I ask you to consider being your own Knight in Shining Armour and Stay on Your White Horse. This person who was in your life literally phukked with your good spirit. I ask that you consider "Don't Take Bullshit From Fuckers". Please look up Natasha Adamo's Post Male Syndrome. It is for everyone of us that have allowed others to hurt us not just in the break-up but whilst we were still trying to be good to them and get good from them. Thank you for trusting that you are not alone. ~ me
The main fact that is hard to wrap one's mind around is the fact that they actually hate and are terribly envious of their lovers/victims. I remember playing the piano and singing, and I was so happy, doing what I Iove to do, and i looked over at the narc, and I felt this negative/evil energy. At first, I tried to downplay it, thinking he was bored or something. But, it didn't take long for me to realize that there was no excuse for his evil/dark energy especially when I'm being genuinely happy. Knowing what I know now, he was obviously feeling incredibly hateful and jealous because of my sincere and genuine happiness and talent as a musician. He's jealous. Honestly, I didn't realize opposite sexes could be jealous of one another, as I have never been jealous of a man before, only women. It's hard to digest the fact that people would seriously be that insecure, but, it's reality, unfortunately when it comes to sick-minded individuals who nothing close to normal.
Mine was jealous of my child’s father and I relationship and me being a mother. His bm wasn’t shit and he hated her for that but I think he resented me cause I was a good mom That’s was weird
He was like : you can't be happy and I'm sad. So basically I should be sad when he's sad and even when he's happy, I should still be sad. He told me : I hate you and then apologized that it's a slip of the mouth but I saw his eyes. The anger in his eyes when he said it. I've never forgotten that energy
This is so true! It's like watching her speak about the exact thing that I'm going through right now and have went through for the past six years. Each day is still a struggle. Actually sometimes it's minute by minute. When you're dealing with a narcissist, it just messes with your head a whole lot more. Especially when you really loved this person or you thought that you loved this person. And they can just be so incredibly cold.
I totally get the minute to minute thing. I learned something called Combat Breathing from a Jocko Willink (former Navy Seal) podcast. I would do this while brushing my teeth; if I even got to brush my teeth for the day because of all the drama and complete chaos just so I wouldn't totally lose it and go stark raving bonkers
Left mine about 3 month ago. This freedom and inner peace I have now is beyond words. Better to be alone and giving the love to my inner child who was abused so many years. Get healthy again and dont let you hoover in again!! Trust me - life is so much better then! Bless you all
Breakups can be a blessing in disguise! It's not always meant for makeup, but rather it ends in order for you to wake up! So instead of trying to fix something that is broken, start over to create something that you will attract better. 💙TH-camr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships
Yep I fell back down that rabbit hole after being out for 2 years and now back in the same hell as before. I thought I was stronger than I actually was. Never ever go back, it doesn't change.
You got that right Angela, not going back it is really hard. Through a small group of really good friends I was able to hold on to a sliver of self-respect and not get sucked back in. I have spent the last three and a half years trying to forgive myself for staying in it as long as I did. I have scars on my soul that may never go away.
@@brianreed8271 I don't think you ever go back to the person you were before the path of damage a narcissist creates. However, you walking way took enormous strength and perseverance and it belongs to you and not them. Getting away from the control and abuse and beginning the soul healing process can be tough but so worth it. Always be proud of the strength you had to get away, that is huge! I started studying the Boundaries book/workbook a couple years ago and that has helped me tremendously. I have armored myself, live my life as much as I can on my terms and no longer allow myself to be sucked into the black hole of attacks. For the moment I can't leave but I never give up that the day will come that I will be able to get out. My heart breaks for anyone who has suffered in relationships like these.
She nailed it ! All my good peoples don’t hold any resentment or guilt towards the narcissist it will eat you alive. It’s been 1 month since I left my narcissist ex gf and I’m finally getting over the hump. Just accept your feelings and unpack it. The common denominator is they aren’t meant for you and you will find someone better trust me
I def felt broken and been narcissistic during my relationship before, I don’t think it’s a permanent character flaw since I’m here on this video obviously trying to learn about my flaws. I want better for my loved ones
I left my Narcisist husband almost 3 years ago. Took a lot of strength, I was there living with my Narcissistic partner away from my family and friends in a different province. I was afraid he might pull something or try to hurt me. Ps, he had brainwashed my parents so good, they believed him over their own daughter. Now, my parents are understanding what had happened. He was mentally, physically and emotionally abusive. Took everything he could take from me. It wasn't easy just understanding how he psychologically and emotionally tortured me and ruined me. I still get nightmares about him controlling me. Please, if u think you are in a relationship with a Narcissist, RUN. They will ruin you in ways you cannot imagine and they will NEVER change. There is NO HOPE in that relationship also not your job to fix him/her. Focus on getting better and healing. ❤
Once you have escaped your toxic relationship, don't let the damage carry on. Reflect on it. Think about everything you learned about yourself and other people while you were doing your best to make things work with this untenable person. Don't live your life out hating them, fact is, they could not help being what they are. YOu are a survivor, and you have a new life to live far wiser than most.
Don't go back. If he's likely dangerous, go apply for a job with a Sheriff's department so some similar place. Make some real friends in the department. That's your best bet for safety!
It’s not harder to leave a narcissist. Its literally a “nightmare.” Every thing shared in this video is all true and more. The narcissist sees you as their property and will seek to scorch you. Its painful to escape a narcissist. The narcissist in my life got into a serious relationship in a short period time after scorching my life and leaving me without support of any kind. It was wicked.🤕
Interesting take. Her comment regarding the difficulty of extricating from a narcissist is so true. Why is it so difficult? My belief is that, if you are the opposite, ie, an empath, then you view it as insensitive and un-empathetic to dump the narcissist. And, tragically and hopelessly, you hang onto hope that you can “reform” the narcissist, which is laughable. I am living this nightmare now. I have a very smart female friend, a confidant, with whom I would like to have a romantic relationship, and she has patiently counseled me. However, she has reached the stage where she says, she is no longer the problem, you are, for staying in a toxic relationship. Do you want to consciously be unhappy for the rest of your life when it is within your control to fix it?
Let me tell you something after leaving a narcissist recently it was like I was running for my life. He literally was the craziest person I have ever been with. Please pay attention to these signs because it could save your life and your heart. It is not easy dealing with them at all!
Before my past relationship, I was extremely confident, no insecurities of any sort. And now I'm insecure af, anxious, feeling inadequate and what not. But I'll get back and come out better. She had so many options open while being with me and I was dedicated and only had her in my life. So now I'm gonna be alone and she'll go to her next target. By the way, an early flag of NPD is how they potrey their past relationship. They'll make a version of their ex and you'll feel like it wasn't their fault at all and the ex was the asshole for treating this person so bad and then BOOM. THEY'LL MAKE YOU THE SAME VERSION OF THEIR EX. And guess what? You'll be the devil in her next stories. NPD people will never accept even a bit of their mistake so they don't get any guilt and hence don't need to improve or change themselves. The best thing is to leave, without trying to solve anything. Just leave. Let them think you were wrong because there's no way you can convince them of their wrongdoings. So, leave and enjoy the peace. Being alone in peace is wayyyy better than living with someone in constant chaos.
I was hurt and heart broken when a very big problem occurred in my marriage seven months ago, between me and my wife . so terrible that she took the case to court to file a divorce. She said that she cannot continue to stay with me again,and she said "I don't love you anymore" So she took her things out of the house and made me and my children passed through several emotional pain. I tried all my possible means to get her back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and she confirmed it that she has made her decision,and she never wanted to see me again. So one evening,as i was coming back from work,i meant an old friend of mine who asked of my wife .So i explained every thing to him, so he told me that the only way i can get my wife back, is to visit a prophet to know what is really behind this issue, because it has really worked for other people too. So i never believed in spell, but i had no other choice than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the Email address of the prophet. prophetehiagwina@gmai l.com. So the next morning, i sent a mail to the address he gave to me, and the prophet respond the following day and assured me that i will get my wife back the next day. Hopefully I believed since my friend recommended me to him, ,so we discussed and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my wife who didn't call me for the past 7 months, gave me a call to inform me that she was coming back. So Amazing!! So that was how she came back that same day ,with lots of love and joy, and she apologized on her mistake ,and for the pain she caused me and my children. Then from that day ,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before ,by the help of a prophet . So, i will advice you out there if you have any problem contact PROPHET EHIAGWINA, i give you 100% guarantee that he will help you.. Email him at: prophetehiagwina@ gmail. com or call/whatsapp +2348139182295 prophet ehiagwina can help solve problems such as: genetic battle spell to kill or distroy your enemy spell to get a good job win lottery dealing narcissist spell Avenge someone Spell to someone and many more
I'm many decades past dealing with narcissists, or now IMMEDIATELY recognize them, and I appreciate this sober, concise discussion, but mostly I say, GOOD DOG! (the lab lying on the floor there).
I absolutely love the MedCircle videos and site because the prompts and back and forth but her TH-cam page is really great too and I highly recommend checking it out.
@@ArgoDawn Subscribed. Thanks for the tip. It's relieving to know there are more me's out there but scary to learn how many "him's" exist. At least now I can learn to recognize the signs early on.
I’m still dealing with the ptsd from leaving npd/bpd relationship with my baby about 9 months ago. So these videos are really helping that pain and confusion die down a bit because it never really leaves. Thank you!!
This is like having my life read out to me. Every single thing here has happened to me and is still going on 14 years later. I only learned about all this a couple of years ago.
Same here. Married 19 years to narc. Everything she talked about was my life. I have been divorced from him for 18 years. It gets easier and easier...trust yourself and stay strong.
Aloha from Honolulu. Binging on Dr. Ramini & Drs. Carter & Bryant. Left husband of 33 yrs - 10 days no contact. Yo made me strong & aware! God bless.🛐✝️📖😁😎🏖
Stay strong! The feeling of relief is wonderful!🦋🌺. I'm 2 years post narc relationship, and still so happy in my freedom! (He left me for his next supply)
I was with a narcissist boyfriend for almost 8 years. When things started it was great but after few months he became possessive and starts picking my friends, like whom i should hang out with and stuff. I felt like a bird keep in a cage. I wanted to break free but it was hard as i have grown to love him. I was depressed and he left me anyhow. And now After 5 years of breaking up ang through this talk show and thanks to Dr Ramani, i began to grow again mentally and hopefully all the years with the depression took away from me will return again eventually.
At least you learnt from your experience. Live, learn, and grow. Undertake character development and be a person that you can be proud of! And above all else, become emotionally and intellectually independent! This should be your personal aspiration via character development. You'll make for difficult prey for any narcissist.
Tess, make sure that you eat nutritous food, Keto with pasture raised cheap cuts of meat(liver & kidneys) & make bone broths too. Do some fasting. Watch encouraging videos, do a bit of yoga or any other exercise you enjoy. Nurture & love yourself & healing will come. You got this. Wishing you happiness & peace.
This was the first time I realised what had happened to me, just over a year ago. What you describe is exactly what happened when I left him. Wow you saved me girl. Thank you
Dr. Ramani is spot on at the very end of this video starting at 6:50 about preparing to leave a narcissist. My exhusband did all the things she mentions, to include trying to get sole custody of my two children. Over a decade later, I'm STILL dealing with the fallout of leaving the narc. Almost ruined me financially on multiple occasions due to dragging me through the courts that don't understand this is a form of control and abuse through manipulation. My children are no longer pawns he can legally use to hurt me, but he continues to manipulate one of my children against me. The other child took fours years of psychology in university and lots of counseling to understand their father.
Hi I’m also thinking of leaving my narcissistic husband. I have two children ages 13 & 16 I am concerned that he will fight me in court for custody I don’t want them to ever be under his care . Do you think it would be better to wait for my youngest to turn 18 years old? Hope you can share some advice.
@@andreacruz9592 In most courts in the US, your children are old enough to choose which parent they want to live with, so you may not have a say. And if you ask the child which parent they want to live with, they may say you, but then in court may decide to go with their father.
I am about to go to court over our three year old. I am a recovering addict and I am terrified he is going to convince this judge that I am not a fit parent and get custody. He has taken her from me and had had her for three weeks. My heart is broken. He lets me see her if I got stay with him. I'm almost considering just going back to him until I can get everything in place perfectly to leave, making sure he won't get my baby. I'm so scared.
The way this woman's knowledge began to free me 4 years ago!!!! Thank you Jesus!!!! Thank you Dr. R. I thought I was crazy but I was just married to a covert narcissist. God rescued me from that relationship and he used you to confirm in my mind what I had truly been dealing with.
When mine left after 30 years, all I felt was relief. And yes he had someone waiting in the wings....and yes, I said you can't have both when I found out. Thankfully he was so full of himself and ready to "move on" divorce was quick and easy and he asked for nothing from me.
A narcissist allowed you to have a quick and easy divorce and asked for nothing? I find that hard to believe. Are you sure he wasn’t just a bad, disloyal person? It’s par for the course for a real narcissist to fuck you over every way they can and try and stay present in your mind even if they’re seeing someone else…
OMG this therapist thing happened to me!! I thought I was the only one!! My ex convinced her it was me. She agreed and told me all the things I was doing wrong in front of him. He became empowered and the abuse became something that was literally going to kill me. It was the last straw and we were divorced within months. She later realized she was way off and admitted it and let my ex have it for lying to her. But she never apologized to me. That def added to my trauma. Maybe I should send her a letter for my own healing. It’s been 10 years.
Dr. Ramani is spot on about how a narcissist treats their victim. I've been free for 18 mos. I've found a happiness that is deep and rich. I'm choosing healthier relationships. He keeps trying to engage with me. Not because he loves me but because he needs someone to demean and abuse to feel good about himself.
About the love bombing. Their words seem/feel empty, don't fall for that. ;) If you're an empath you should feel the real reason someone tells you ''I love you''. When a normal person tells you I LOVE YOU, will show it thru actions and then will use words, you'll feel goosebumps...or something life changing in your heart.
I left my Narc a month ago and have been No Contact since. She went back to her ex a few days later and got engaged. I know this because he sent me a friend request on Instagram so I could see their engagement and pictures and so I had to block him to. She downgraded back to a jobless drunk she’s gonna have to take care of. I definitely don’t want to date anyone that wants to be with someone like him. And all she did was talk shit on him the whole time we were together. Go figure
This really speaks to me. Because I've had the same situation recently happen to me. And although she hasn't told me that she has gone back to her ex, all of the signs are there and it is crystal clear to me. But like you, I can't even begin to fathom her reasons for doing so, as she really talked bad of him when we got together and said how she was so lucky to get out of there and he abused her etc etc. So why has she gone back?! It really puzzles me. But it has also helped me to understand that the same bad talk is probably happening now as well, but it's about me this time to make herself out to be the victim and turn everyone against me. But all l I ever did was my best. I gave her everything and truly loved her and what I got in return was lies, disrespect and to be left suddenly without warning and like I meant nothing to her! It is very sad, I'm completely broken and I feel like I don't even know who I am any more.
@@DanielRD-91 First of all.. Im sorry. Sounds like she's codependent. Narcissist are codependent that's why they need constant validation. A lot of people never get out of thr trauma bond. They keep going in circles with what's familiar...and whats familiar isn't always the best for us. It kinda sounds like you are where I was about a month ago. The grief process.. is a bit circular..we go back and forth with ruminating, anger, sadness, etc. (All the steps) until...finally...you get to where I'm starting to step into.. Acceptance.. you might be there too...but then go back to being mad as hell. (I've done that) Though it sounds f up...cause I'm a complete stranger to you.. Be happy you are out of it. It took me soooo long to get there. I have my life back! I'm not dating a covert narcissist anymore! Someone whos incapable of real love, which means....my daughter and I can be loved by a good, whole hearted person ...And the same goes to you. When you are ready, healed and have processed everything this relationship put you through. ...and youre good on your own..you will attract someone who won't trigger your childhood wounds. Adults who are responsible, respectful and most importantly intelligent-- enough to know how to treat others. They will never admit that they ruined the relationship. Dont expect good things to be said because that would mean that their false persona is not real. Their friends don't know them, neither do their coworkers...Abuse happens in private. So no one will ever know that person that you knew. By the way, I think my ex goes back to his ex too. (Thats why I initially responded to you) I found out my ex bfs ex wife lives less than 10min from him and use to live 3 min from me walking distance. That bastard never told me she was literally up the street. Sneaky fkr I moved ;) f that drama.
oh dude - i am in the same boat - but listen to the video again - first off - she ain't taking care of him - that i can promise you - he can have all the weddings he wants he is only a quick landing spot - the only thing that guy is is someone to feed her ego until she has the next supply
When I was with a narcissist, it was SO different from a normal break up that I KNEW something was wrong and different. I'd had breakups before, we tended to end pretty amicably, though I did have some weird breakups before. This one was different. I felt like I had poured so much of myself into trying to help my ex, trying to be how he wanted me to be, trying to change to fit this "ideal" he had of me. And I knew he had it because he'd be in his daydream and tell me about it and I was concerned about it because I knew I wasn't going to live up to that because I'm human. Eventually, I'd been so busy trying to do so much to make this relationship work, while giving up who I was and ignoring and belittling my own wants that I ended up feeling suicidal. Which I didn't want to tell my ex, but he kept asking me, and I eventually told him I felt suicidal because of him (I wasn't good at expressing what I meant; I meant how he was treating me and how the relationship was going, but my mind just wasn't very clear at the time) and he took it as a insult. When I tried my last ditch effort to get him to change and told him if he was willing to go to therapy, too, as I was planning to go myself, he told me I was using my suicidal thoughts to manipulate him. Maybe I was, so idk. Anyway, it took us 4 months to break up because, despite me still feeling some type of way about how he had treated me and the non-apology, he still wanted us to be friends. I declined and that's when he started to treat me more rudely. However, he was continuously hoovering me (which I didn't recognize at the time) by asking me how I was or wishing me a good weekend and all kinds of other things. Through that whole thing I STILL felt suicidal because he was then telling me how hard he was taking it and saying that I had messed up our connection and abandoned him (even though we were still in contact at the time). When I finally told him I just didn't feel I could stay friends with this going on, he called me abusive and told me I was a horrible person and he wouldn't miss me and I just didn't contact him, anymore. I blocked him for about a week, then unblocked him because I was confused. I felt bad because I abandoned him. I wondered if it was really me who messed things up and if I was bad for expecting too much for the relationship. He went from saying how sad he was to a few weeks later talking about this awesome girl he met to being sad again because that girl ghosted him. I felt crappy because I was like, how was he able to jump into a new relationship so soon after we broke up while I was going through all these emotions and still feeling depressed despite knowing this was a bad situation for me. A narc breakup takes you through it. I'm still not completely over it and it's never taken me this long to "get over" a breakup. And, yes, despite not wanting him, I always worry that he's found someone else and has done a complete 180 and is a wonderful person, who is an amazing partner. He's doing all those things he promised me with whomever he has found. I have to remind myself that that's not going to happen. Because I knew him before we started dating; I have the knowledge that he was bad in relationships before me, and I know he's probably still bad because his aim/beliefs seems to not have changed. It's still hard, though, because I still keep thinking, he was never always bad to me, so what if it was just me and that's why he was horrible to me, so someone he actually likes and respects, he will treat better.
Your story.. is mine right now. Im currently at the suicidal stage, and I have no friends to talk to because I don't want to sound crazy because every knows him as the most happy giving person. And tbh I somehow don't have contact with friends or family anymore, only his. If I bring up a little misunderstanding or ask a simple question or whatever I say no matter how I say it, I am "starting an argument " ,"turning little things into bigger then it is" then him over talking me. Me trying to get my words out so therefore frustratedand confused and i sit here wondering if i am the one who started the huge yelling argument over somthing stupid. He will maybe 1hr later act super nice and say sorry he didn't mean to hurt my feeling, and if I dont immediately act like im not hurting or upset HE then gets mad all over and tells me I need help, and maybe I do because I'm lost. Part of me knows I'm not over Exaggerating, but also a part if me feels i am!!! And i feel lost and confused and alone and just had enough, but I love him, I love who he is that 30% of the time he's not being mean, the attention part, the part I feel loved & wanted the part I feel needed.
@@abilezm5745 me exactly! my narc. husb. of 14 yrs. packed up and left again, as he does about every month, or so, goes on a drunk...or who knows what?....i'm not aloud to ask questions, speak, cough, blow my nose, or be negative whatsoever. constant lies...drug use,has been physically abusive as well....his heart is as ice cold as a shark's. why do i stay? ...ageing..disabled, no family, no friends..i need his help.. he is 12 yrs younger.
@@debby579 I'm 66, retired, on SS with a modest IRA but he walked out overnight after 14 years and I'm letting him go! He was bluffing when he left and thought I would beg him back for financial reasons, but I called his bluff every time. Divorce is almost final and he's been out of the house for almost seven months. Since he was always selfish and hoarded money he's buying me out and I have to move in a matter of weeks, and I'm going! I have been back to my Christian lifestyle and I am trusting God to restore everything that I lost in a relationship that has been so dysfunctional with every narcissist trait that these damaged people have. I decided a house is not a home and I don't want to stay with someone who only had their interests in mind from the start and hid who he really was and trapped me in a fake marriage. I'm looking forward to my peace and not feeling lonely and used any longer. Never thought I would start over at this point in my life, but I trust the Lord completely, as he's my provider.
@@abilezm5745 that's almost exactly the same situation I am in.. It's really bad... my mental health has deteriorated.. If I say or ask anything ge doesn't like.. the simplest thing.. he changes and starts screaming at me.. changing completely what I said into something else.. accuses me of saying all manner of things.. Hs says words dong matter.. wgen he says them and I should just forget and not be upset. But then he makes words up I have said screams shouts says I'm being unfair because he has to look after himself so he doesn't relapse and drink... now he wants time alone.. Hs gaslights me.. makes nd feeling inferior in tiny ways.. speaks to me like a child..makes any suggestion to do something such a difficulty.. But will do things with his friends.. Oh the list goes on and on.. Then he says oh i as in he destroys all his good relationships and has ruined all his ex lives. Hs does say that less because I suggested.. he really does not have that amount of power.. while his partners may have been upset they are all having a happy life now. That relationships end often because the dynamics are not working. He deflects all the time.. when I first suggested that.. he didnt know what I meant then went off and told a friend that's what I do.. Everyone thinks he is nice.. but it's all superficial on his terms.. I could go on forever.. I should just separate but he is like a bloody magnet to me. He pushes and pulls .. its so hard.. especially in lockdown..
@@debby579 I get you.. and feel for you.. I'm in a similar situation and dont they hate it when they feel they have to help.or have helped. Then they think they can be mean because they have made a cup of tea.. given you some sweets.. put the heated blanket on etc etc.. They can be so mean and nasty and frightening.. yet the smallest thing from us and it's the end of the world.. I have asked my partner not to do anything nice for me as I prefer him not to have anything he can shout at me about. I feel I have to been on alert all the time to stay afloat with his behaviour.. He changes so quickly..always my fault.. never says sorry and he has never done anything wrong... I feel for you.. it's an awful situation..
This described my 13 years of marriage to a narcissist exactly, but I had no idea what narcissism was at the time.. He completely destroyed me; and I still am.
The victim knows something is wrong and when you do mention something about it,the heat is tuned up and this is where it can be dangerous because they physically and mentally hurt you faster
Which part of Dr. Ramani's strategy resonates with you?
Watch exclusive narcissism content & live Q&As with Dr. Ramani HERE: bit.ly/34rbdCy
I am going to family court because I told the flying monkeys I will cut their wings off I was not scared of them but I was supposed to be I don't have a family with my former Nurses Aide I never had children with her and I never even been to her apartment down the street but I'm going to Family Court cuz this is Genesee County New York a place I don't want to be anymore. But due to financial troubles I cannot move and I have one leg and I have no Nurses Aide and I never will again after what she did to me. Every single thing you said has happened to me and it's really bad real bad if you have your own mental illness to begin with it's ridiculous the way those people are
They say they were emotionally abused when they did not talk to me because I was ghosted. And I said what I thought about being ghosted having no closure when I should have probably said nothing
My second husband!!
I'm 4 weeks into moving completely different states the emptiness and levels of loneliness are shattering for the mind.. I feel the hoovering beginning and i feel slightly vulnerable but my worth has built a little... I dont know what hurts more that they hold onto you and dont want you to leave or the feeling of just being instantly replaced as if you where never anything to begin with. I am still extremely jumpy intensely paranoid I even see things such as shadows in my pirifial vision it makes me feel so broken and so crazy just constantly on edge and flipping between feeling content that I am safe and feel so empty I miss him. He not only put his hands on me but my mum. I'm so shattered. Im so proud I left but I'm so shattered
ALL of it 😳
My therapist told me that if my ex husband really loved me, why would he physically emotionally and psychologically abuse me? And that’s the moment I knew this was all a power game to him. Narcissists aren’t capable of love. They take and take until there’s nothing left. 4 days free. Pray for me.
You got this move forward
God bless your soul with guidance 🙏
Don't go back!! Stay strong
You’ve got this you’re blooming by now 🥰💓
you got the power to get through this alone.
That doggo is sleeping so well. I'm kinda envious. Doggo has no trauma, nor worries.
Yes! So funny 😂
I was actually worried since he is so still haha
Woof
I know right ! I want to be that dog ❤️
May He never have to experience any. Animals are just angels on earth 💕
They will never accept responsibility for their part of the breakup ! Anything they did wrong is because of something you did ! Even though you didn’t do it !
I can't stress this enough it's exhausting
@@CeciliaGonzalez-bi3yh It’s absolutely amazing how they play the victim ! I had my own family members turning on me ! Eventually they realized how manipulative she was ! I’m a pretty sharp guy but I must admit she had me fooled for a long time and had me feeling guilty for things I didn’t even do ! Crazy smh
@@vincentmaniscalco4421 I'm in a situation similar my family would think it's all me if I left. He even had my sister fooled once. She wouldn't speak to Me for three years. It's definitely heartbreaking
@@CeciliaGonzalez-bi3yh Like I said they are very good playing the victim ! My relationship ended about 8 months ago and my mind is so much more at ease ! I spent so much time defending myself for things I didn’t do ! Now I realize she knew I didn’t do what she was accusing me of ! But she had me back peddling and believing I was making her sick ! Smh looking back in retrospect I feel stupid but I’m not going to allow my past to dictate my future ! So I’m hoping the right woman comes into my life ! I’m waiting… lol we will see 🙂
@@vincentmaniscalco4421 wish you the best of luck. I have to focus on myself for now on eventually I will get out of this mess
The thing that resonates the most, is the making you look like the bad one. They chip, chip, chip away until you literally break. Then they call you crazy.
Haha 😂yes
DUDE omfg... this .. exactly.. freaking burns man
DUDE omfg... this .. exactly.. freaking burns man
I'm at that point now, I saw his social profile, after almost 3 years, I'm no where to be seen, he introduced me by first name (unless it's an "old male friend"), his last post was 2016. We've been arguing for a few days. I'm at my wits end.
I can’t understand this so it literally hurts my brain when it happens don’t know if that’s just me..
Im patient….. then they chip it away and tell me I don’t have patience because by the time screaming starts I’m packing my stuff anymore
Once you realize and accept that they'll never change ever, you are halfway there.
!yeah. i thought he changed but once he said- he fought with his sister, and second he was so tired of a girl who kept calling him even tho he wasn't interested in her genuinely but said nice things to her face. disgusting!
I am getting there
once I realized this, I walked away
What’s the other half ? Because I think I’m done with that half and just got through to a realization
I totally agree. Somehow this realisation hit me like a lightning bolt and gave me the strength to leave
Left 6 days ago. Gathered my things quietly and got out after 4 years of marriage and a 7 year relationship. My heart goes out to anyone who is going through this 💔
does this get any better? its been only 2 days for me..
You need to take 50% of the responsibility. If nothing else you were the enabler.
Hi i was a victim of this but i want someone to talk to me....
@@aylinarkan199 yes it does. Little by little you stop walking on eggshells & get your identity back.
Truth ❤
tip: when they admit they're a narcissist and tell you that you deserve better, PLEASE believe them
I thought that they never do that tho!
The exact words he told me!
I'm glad, and I thank God I've been able to leave that relationship after 5 years.
Believe them, and them leave. Don't sit there waiting.
That’s the exact words she told me ... I deserve better and so do you, were the exact words. Crazy
Amen
Narcissists don't like others for who they are. They only like the things that others do for them.
Truer words were never spoken. My god.
Wow. This hit deep!!
True, though to be honest, I feel like unless you're really close with someone, sadly most of human relationships are business-like like that. People tell me all the time that I have a "good heart" but they don't really care about that, they only care if I can make them feel good about themselves or if they can get some practical benefits by knowing me.
That was EXACTLY the case with my ex. He has autism and wasn't able to meet any of my emotional needs, and he asked me to explain to him the kinds of things I would like to hear from him to feel close to him and like he liked me and loved me. I literally had to explain to him what giving a compliment and saying nice things about people is like. It was a completely alien concept to him. The best he could come up with was telling me how much he appreciates all the chores I did for him. That was the best he could come up with. He didn't like a single thing about ME, only liked how I benefitted HIM. When he would make comments about ME, they were always such extremely negative and toxic and hurtful things - I'm apparently the dumbest person to have ever walked the earth, completely unskilled and untalented at everything ESPECIALY in comparison to him, etc. And when I asked him to try harder and think about qualities about ME, not about what I DO, he said there was nothing special about me, so how could he possibly do that??
@@Wes-Tyler I know exactly how you feel. All relations with others for narcissists are relationships of convenience: all for their own self-perversion. You have constantly prove that you're a good person to them, and it's never enough. The best thing to do is to get out of narcissistic relationship, and once you're out, stay out.
They replace you before you leave. They have a line of takers on the back burner just waiting for the day that you decide to have boundaries and "abandon them" even though they've already abandoned you.
lol women do this all the time, so they're all narcissists I guess.
@@mykeprior3436 Ignorant comment.
@@margomazzeo1680 keep playing the victim card, some of us see through the bs.
@@mykeprior3436 uhhh no, it was an ignorant comment. I could go in with logic, explaining that your argument is invalid because you’re ascribing a behavior to a group based on the behavior of some members of that group, or I could go in a more social/anecdotal direction and point out that men cheat just as much as women do, but at the end of the day I have no idea what exactly would get through to someone who is so unable to process the pain they’re experiencing that they let it twist up into blind, ignorant hatred.
I hope you get some therapy and figure this out before you hurt a woman, physically or emotionally, to punish her for the pain she did nothing to cause.
@@mykeprior3436 no not all women do this. I am 55 years old and have never ever done this. None of my friends have ever done this to their husbands either.
“Narcissists don’t like to be left”, yet THEY’RE the ones discarding people and ruining the relationships. It’s so twisted! Like, who has all that time and energy to go out and do all that???
My husband told me he didn't want to be with me mind you we have been together for 11 years and married for 8 and a half years I told him when we met in 2010 I couldn't have anymore kids ( due to endometriosis) and he was fine with that so he claimed at the time we had conversations about it he did want his own kids, which was strange to me, and then all of a sudden a month ago he tells me he has to decide whether or not he wants to be with me because he now wants his own kids, just threw us away he has no use for us now after 11 years we mean ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO HIM. I've been great to him loved him with all of me did everything for him. Now IAM the one hurt and devastated and he could care less, it's terrible
Meet my bd. He stays getting new relationships. Always on social media lying to obtain multiple relationships. He's attractive and keeps his body in physical shape...his sex is over the top. So he's extremely confident in his web. He expects total faithfulness from every chick while they accept he's not going to be. Even tho I got out he still expects me to not get into another relationship because I'm the mother of HIS kids. Meanwhile, he had another kid by another woman and expects her to be celibate too...unless she gets it from him. If you don't he tells ppl all kinds of lies about you and turn ppl against you. It's a crazy life.
A sick individual
@@queeniejordan3948 is he a narcissist or does he just get off on being a player? lol...i guess its hard to tell the difference
@@leahflower9924 no...he's a full fledged narcissist. He's a player too. I kept being like wtf is wrong with you?! It took learning the behaviors of a narcissist to realize that's what I was dealing with.
I just left my narcissist boyfriend today after he did me so dirty. Im going through a very bad breakup. Please pray for me. I just feel hopeless and ready to end it all😔😢
You are not alone. Keep explaining what you’re feeling here. You will be listened to.
Contact him for help now for your wish to come through
@@pablojackson9051 thank you so much guys..sorry that it took me a whole month to see this.I ended up breaking no contact and going back and a few days later the abuse got worst..so I went no contact again and it’s 4days. I’m not going
That is a natural feeling ...you are among friends here .. love yourself first .. in the end you will say what was I thinking ... you are a strong empath .. they can’t destroy us we come back stronger .. it will all be ok
Hope things are much better today Kerizma!
The reality is: anxiety, depression, smoking, isolation, eating disorders, panick attacks, distrust from your family and friends, lack of goals, low self steem, not recognizing yourself, feelings of betrayal, lies, stress, insomnia, skin problems, hearing all the time from outsiders" love yourself", anger, sadness, bags under the eyes, high blood pressure..and tbe worst " failing to the own self . Many of us hide it in order to look " normal" to others while the pain is inside eating the immune system..if you are ready to run: Run for your sanity asp , dont look back, its not about loving yourself cliche. Its about saving your sanity, your mental health. Run far away .
THIS. THIS IS IT. THANK YOU FOR PUTTING IT IN WORDS
“Love yourself” yes I’m so happy I’m not alone...
What my days have looked like lately.....
Yes I Run and relocated and did not let nobody know.
Thank you, that's last 15 years of my life summed up.
I wasn't even in a relationship with my narcissist. When I tried dating him he said my emotional reactions were the problem (not his lack of empathy, which was what made me emotional) and if I could change that everything would be fine. He would keep me in the friends with benefits stage so he could push and pull me when he pleased. It was really jarring to finally realize what was happening to me. I thought I was going crazy. I set my boundaries and walked away.
Happened to me as well.
Same with him.
But I just don't know ,how am gonna get over him.
Same with him.
But I just don't know ,how am gonna get over him.
Me too! No CONTACT
Is his name Justin?? 😂😂
This is so enlightening. I did not realize I was a victim of narcissistic abuse until you perfectly described the most volatile and traumatizing relationship I have ever endured. Wow. No wonder I'm still affected years later. Here's to healing.
Here’s to healing!!!!
At the same time I am so happy to have leaned about psychology. To understand why some people treat you badly. They always say it has nothing to do with me and I finally understand what that means and that helps me deal with it. It helped so much with all my current and future relationships.
Yes there crazy. They are very emotionally abusive people. You being happy is there torment. SIk ain't it.
i didn't realise either until how he acted when it was done. still trying to unpack this all :(
Yea I see years later I’m be dealing with this marriage failure but this video tremendously helps me but I will never be the same I will NEVER love the same
Narcissists move VERY fast in relationships. It's not uncommon to hear, “I love you", and/or be bombarded with love songs/texts/memes a few weeks after meeting them. By rushing into sex/intimacy, they fast-forward the relationship. They get their targets to fall for them before he/she can realize something is amiss. I believe this is also the reason they tend to be VERY good lovers. Sex is usually the “hook” in toxic relationships. Narcissists lack genuine personalities. So, they mirror their targets. If you find you have “so much in common" with a new person, your likes are their likes, and your dislikes are coincidentally their dislikes as well, raise your antennas! They may be mirroring you. This is the “soulmates" hook… You'll also notice that they'll spend more time telling you who they are, verses showing you. As time goes on, you'll notice the words they used to describe themselves do not fit their personality - at all. But, they will fit YOURS!!! Passive-aggressive behavior and irrational/unexplained anger, are also major red flags. Pay attention to how a person treats you the first time you say, “No”, and/or when things don't go their way… If they give you the silent treatment, grow cold, and/or pull away, do not overlook it! Most importantly, if someone pulls away, or goes silent, after you set a boundary - DO NOT pursue them! This is how they groom you to be the chaser in the relationship. It's emotional abuse/manipulation! Pay close attention to people who portray themselves as victims.
NOTHING is EVER their fault! EVERYONE, including the family pet, has done them wrong… ALL of their ex's are “crazy” and mistreated them… They’re great, but no one appreciates said greatness… Simply put, it's bullshit! No one should have a laundry list of bad experiences. If they do, RUN, because they're the common denominator! Narcissists tend to have a history of failed/short-term relationships. Believe it or not, it's hard for Narcissists to find people to deal with them long term due to their instability and poor behavior… Superficial relationships/friendships. I've noticed they don't have anyone they're genuinely close to. This is due to their inability to bond and form true attachments to people. Their relationships are shallow and based on surface-level bs. They'll refer to someone as their bestfriend, but you’ll notice they barely speak. Or, that the person is never really around. Or, only shows up when it's time to party, etc. They may also speak down on/poorly of said “bestfriend” behind their back. Narcissists tend to be condescending, two-faced and downright mean! Based on my experience, they cannot talk about deep subjects (i.e. fears/emotions). Or, how a situation truly made them feel. Or, what their childhood was like in detail… They don't want to go there. I suspect, it's because they can't. They don't know themselves well enough. They can't connect. They also live in a world of dishonesty. They're very dishonest with themselves about who they truly are. A poor relationship with their Mother/primary caregiver. Underlying issues between Narcissists and their Mother's (abuse, neglect, don’t get along, etc.), seems to be common. People that I've known who've displayed strong Narcissistic tendencies, ALL had bad relationships with their Mothers! I think it's worth mentioning, their Mother's also displayed strong Narcissistic traits… I'm fully aware and understand that there are healthy adults who have toxic Mother's.
However, if you're spotting several red flags in an individual, including this one, pay closer attention! They're selfish! Some are selfish from the very beginning. Some start out generous and slowly begin withholding. Some act helpless and needy. They manipulate people into doing things for them, but never give back. It's not only financial and material selfishness. They're selfish emotionally, affectionately, conversationally. sexually and with their attention. They withhold validation and support. EVERYTHING has to be about them, their needs, their wants and everything happens on their terms. Anger, rage, silent treatments and disappearing acts are common - when they don't get their way. Pathological lying. Narcissists are professional liars. It's their second nature. If you call them out, they'll have no issue staring deeply into your eyes as they tell another lie! You'll hardly ever get the truth. Even with unchallengeable proof of the truth, they'll hold on to the lie. It's actually quite fascinating to see them in action - once you know what you’re dealing with. They also have the uncanny ability to provoke doubt in their victims (even when you KNOW the truth), because their lies are so convincing! Beware of people who do not seek conflict resolution. Many Narcissists enjoy drama/chaos! Remember, these are high-conflict personalities. Many of them NEED to argue and fight! Peace to a narcissist, is what chaos is to non-disordered people - unsettling. This is why they repeat behaviors that trigger a negative response. They need tension, anger and high/out of control emotions. They're known for calling people crazy, drama queens, insecure, etc., but never admit what they did to provoke those responses. And, when you attempt to discuss/resolve something, THEY said/did, they’ll gaslight, stonewall and/or flip it back on to you.
They're extremely disrespectful, rude and lack self-awareness. They have an issue with being called out on their behavior and project/deflect to avoid accountability. “Normal” people want to get along, for the most part. So, they seek fair compromises when conflict arises. Narcissists want to “win” and conflict IS their niche. This is how many Narcissists get their way - they wear people down via conflict. Immaturity. It’s one thing to be playful and lighthearted (in appropriate settings), as an adult. It’s something completely different to be immature. Narcissists suffer from arrested development. They do not know how to respond to situations/people/stress/life appropriately. They have a child-like mindset. They truly believe everything is about them and have no concept of the needs of others. By nature, children are takers. They have no concept of reciprocation. They believe their Parents (and everyone else), exists to meet their needs. When their needs aren’t met, or they don’t get what they want, they become mean and throw tantrums. Narcissists cannot think outside of themselves and their wants/needs - like children. They’re completely unaware that people are individuals with their own agency, needs, wants, opinions... They truly believe people exist to serve them. They believe their job is to receive. They’re children trapped in adult bodies, who cannot consider anything/anyone other than themselves! Above everything I've stated, trust your intuition! Narcissists give off an uneasy vibe. They try very hard to appear cool, calm and collected - on the surface. But, you can feel their energy. It's very off-putting. They also tend to have more noticeable negative qualities, than most people. But, you have to stop justifying and making excuses, in order to see things clearly. Accept people for who they are and not who you want them to be. Observe, listen and trust yourself. No one should be allowed to grant themselves a position in your life. Vet people and YOU decide if they'll be a liability, or an asset, to you. Lastly, take cues from your body. If you ever feel your mood changing, feel anxious or feel your stomach knot up, in the company of someone, don't dismiss it! It could be a sign that you're in bad company!!!
Additionally, If you suspect cheating or other forms of manipulation and need to gather evidence for your own peace of mind, you may consider reaching out for assistance. For more information, you can contact: MetaspyHub@gmail. com.
Great info and advice, thank you. 🙏 🙏 I would however respectfully disagree with the child analogy: my 6yo and 2yo have both shown more genuine love and concern for me than my narc ex-friend ever did.
I wish I’d known about narcissistic people and relationships much earlier in life. These relationships cause so much harm. Thank you for this amazing video!
And so much pain as well.
Jose Velez Yes, they are the cause of much pain.
I feel like i have been awakened from a coma.
@@kellylee5235 I can relate.
Yes true but what the person is saying is that people with a mental illness cannot change and this is absolutely not true. It is the fact that she doesn't know how to do it. And it also depends on the person how long they are able to detach from someone in a romantic relationship and as you age with mental strength, you can do this with more ease.
"A narcissist will not leave someone unless they have some waiting in the wings". Bingo. After 10 years of being abused emotionally and ignored and gaslighted I finally stopped giving my narcissist his attention. Within nine months he found someone else and left me. It's been 10 Years… I'll take that parade now!
I always thought I was alone and it must be me. Not now. I see there's a pattern that starts early. Self respect too. If he invites you on date and then disappears for 30 minutes into the men's room. Say no to that move onto someone else and another date with someone else
Shouldn't treat you like that. I deserved better. And, don't want to find out what else he would do.
I will remember that your Narc and you are never alone in the relationship. He's got someone waiting in the wings ready to swoop right in. As soon as you see odd things going on. You will know what to do.
That goes for others in life. The moment someone acts disrespectful don't give them another chance. They won't change. Chances are their friends will support them too. Get rid of all of them as soon as you can.
My advice is not tell them your plans even it takes months. Then go silent cut communication permanently. Be prepared for anything.
This includes your boss, your landlord( try to get out of your lease or just don't renew it) , Living next to crazy loud neighbors, your boyfriend, husband, friends. Leaving it open for less stress, meet more positive people, a better life and better self esteem. Makes you healthier and happy.
Why i stayed for all the time i did beats me--im free of all drama--the cheating--the gambling--the stealing was just awful--J
@@user56gghtf It sure was a nasty divorce--even after all this time--i am still too Wary to try again--i know theres someone out there waiting in the wings--i need a wee prod sometimes to help me on my way--J--Greetings from Scotland.
@@user56gghtf Yes--Thanks---people don't realise what i went through--she broke me every way she could think of and then some--ill take my own sweet time--Thanks for getting back to me--J.
Wrong. They've already had the replacement lined up before you leave them.
Agree.
She said that actually. It's such a cruel thing to do to someone. It's disgusting smh.
Yep. My ex had already cheated on me and I, foolishly, stayed (for almost two months) because he made me feel guilty for being upset. He told me it wasn't a big deal and I was kind of convinced, but it still didn't sit right with me. However, his habits changed. He was "busy" more often. Blew up at me about "taking up too much of his time", which makes little since in an long distance relationship where HE was the one controlling when we spoke. Was on his phone a lot more often than in the entire time I'd known him. I knew something was up and when I'd ask, he would get defensive. A few weeks after we officially broke up, he was with someone new, and I have a good feeling that he was talking to her before we had even broken up. I think he saw me getting more and more frustrated, so he had started lining up someone new.
Sooooooooooo true🥴🗣💯 I've experience & wittness this.
True, it's like being on a monkey bar. They don't let go of one rung until they've grabbed onto the next one.
This video helped me decide to end my relationship with a narcissistic-alcoholic with extreme anger issues.
I love me more 💜
So glad you got out!
How's everything going now, how do you feel after leaving your ex narcissist boyfriend?
@@nickylove8612 I ended it in August, but we communicated again in December, and that's when I blocked her in every way imaginable. I have moments when I want to call, but I tell myself to remember the lies, hurt, the tears, and the alcoholism.
I SURVIVED A NARCISSIST!
Well that's good to hear Hun, I'm glad your healing keep on getting thru this 🙏🏾🙏🏾 you got this babygirl 💪🏾💪🏾, that alcohol can become very scary and dangerous mixed with their anger issues SMH, be safe take care and God Bless you
@@nickylove8612 Thank you so very much for the kind words. I had never been in this type of relationship before (with a woman/alcoholic), so it was very difficult once her true-self started coming out. The threats to me took me over the edge, and that's when I knew I had to walk away, which was hard too because in my mind I could fix her. But my intellectual side kicked in...and I knew only SHE could fix herself.
I'm still healing so I don't walk into another situation like the one I had with her.
I just left an emotionally abusive narc bf about two months ago and oh my god, he’s made leaving just as bad as being with him. I’m just happy to finally be out of such a toxic relationship. I thought about leaving him two years ago, but it’s actually really hard and I didn’t realize how hard it is until you’re going through with it.
If you’re in the process of leaving or have already left a narcissist, I’m proud of you and you’re strong! You got this! 💜
I'm in the same boat i didn't even realise what was happening to me until i removed my self from the situation i also have a little girl with him so i still have to see him and try to be civil even though hes trying to make my life hell still. I've been so naive :'(
I need to get my furniture and work stuff at his place. He is blatantly ignoring my calls, texts all I want is curtesy to come pack my stuff and leave... Frustrated 😭
Yes, leaving them is so hard.. They almost make it impossible. All the new new promises of changing themselves, how much they love you, how lost you'll be without them.
I tried to leave after so many failing attempts of making him see hus faults... But god, that was a battle itself, he manipulated the situation so badly that in end i was the one saying sorry amd feeling bad and trapped. But after 4 months of trying to break up I finally gathered enough courage and stop talking to him.
I'm so emotionally and mentally exhausted. But it was worth it.
Now I'm just scared of him. I have blocked him from everyapp. But He keep messaging me on gmail bcuz gmail still shows msgs on spam folder after blocking. I'm not replying to him but god I'm so scarrd of him after seeing msgs daily even after 1 month of breakup and his calls from random numbers.
I don't know what to do now.
If anyone have any suggestions, pls help
It’s so hard specially when feelings are involved I’m so so hurt I can’t bear this but I can’t keep suffering like this everyday cursing screaming putting me down etc . I feel so low and I never felt like this before :( I can’t believe I deserve this cause I feel like I treated him so nice for so long :( I simply don’t understand 💔 what I did to deserve to be treated like that :(
"made leaving just as bad as being with him" sounds about right. I'm not a huge Henry Rollins fan but he has a song called "Liar" go listen to that song the lyrics will resonate so well it's scary
"You can't start screaming and yelling more. You need to very quietly, behind the scenes, do your preparation." Very, very, very VERY TRUE.
Yes. And once you are prepared, RUN!
Don’t tell them u leaving, just leave silently and that’s it
Actually no one deserves to be ghosted,just tell that “enough with your shit“ and leave without expecting reply,worked for me
@@Trippyricky69 u cant do that anymore now we have sqauders law
@@Trippyricky69 narcissists are much different
Yes! I did it. Even if it was painful.
No, I would not ghost anyone. It says more about your own integrity to do that. Be yourself and end it appropriately
My husband ditched me. I felt abandoned but now I'M SO HAPPY!! ✨️🥳
I started seeing a guy recently..and he really quickly started being possessive, passive aggressive, and super red-flaggy... It didn't even last a month..he started acting extra weird, and ended up ghosting me for a week. When he got back to me.. he said he "was actually in a relationship" - something he hadn't planned - and that he thought I would be happy for him, since we were just friends. He said it was magical. 🤣🤣😭
Mostly they are the ones who leave
I am so happy for you. I hope he doesn't hoover!
@@WarmGlowinWarminGlow he sounds very insecure...lucky for you he is gone.
@@carolinekiama3149 yes, set strong boundaries and consequences and soon they will be gone...lol...bye bye..
"they are not changing for you, so who cares?" TRUE!
The narcissist is not even changing for God, so soon the new supply will be in our shoes🙏🙏
I kick myself for not listening to my ex when he dropped hints about his mental issues, narcissism or psychopathic/sociopathic. I remember he told me at the beginning that his ex said he was "Unemotional and detached". I also knew she'd left her belongings when she left.
I should have trusted my gut. Always trust your gut.
I feel the same way. I was actually his "friend" when he was with his ex before me. He'd tell me all this stuff she would do, which turned out to be stuff HE did in relationships. He also had horrible communication with her, so I should have known that was going to be an issue with us. I should have listened to the fact that he liked to ignore his mental illnesses and act as if he didn't have them. I have depression and anxiety, too, so it confused me why he was so weird about them because he had initially connected because of them. I always feel like there was more that he wasn't telling me, but he was never truly open with me; it was this surface openness that I mistook for real vulnerability. I kick myself because I know I had so many signs and he told me things himself, but I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt all the time. Didn't help that he'd make it seem like all his breakups before were his partner's fault and I should have seen that as a sign, too.
I know how you feel..i wish i listened too
@happyhappyjoyful that's a damn shame.
This! My ex told me so many things like that right out. I mean even to the point of saying "all my exes left me after 4 months, no one could stay with me longer than that". My dumb ass stayed on and off for over a year. But at 3 months is when he started being an insane jerk.
I know how u feel I should’ve listened when the ex told me
Just threw my abusive narcissist boyfriend out of my life for good. I was used for too long. I didn't even recognize myself in the mirror, everything revolved around him. I'm not fully healed, everyday is easier. It's been just a little under a month.ive been isolated from friends, certain family. I hear he is telling people I was the bad one, ha, he used me financially, a place to live, sexually and a punching bag. That's alright, I still have my apartment and job, he has neither, just a list of legal issues now. I am moving on, while he is latching on to something and someone else. I love Dr.Ramani videos. It helps me get ready for my day. Thank you!
Good on you! I've just left a narcissistic relationship as well and it definitely felt like a relationship of convenience. It feels like it's going to take forever to heal but I'm determined to get through it.
@@blueskiies you will get through it. I sometimes ponder how the hell I survived that asshole. But I made it and so will you. Not easy but it does get easier.
I'm over three months narc free and no contact. It's hard but it does get better and I'm sure Elliott's new supply is already starting to see the mask come off😳
@@bonitasmith6064 Elliott's what? Happy to hear stories of healing progress, it gives me faith ☺️
@Eba K. This is exactly what im going thru too. Almost the same story. The thing with me is i hate that i still love him
I just left my narcissistic relationship of 8 years. This relationship consisted of him cheating, lying, emotional/physical abuse - there was point during our relationship where he would refer to me as a dog and say he needed to train me to be more obedient. Not even 10 minutes after we broke up he had another date set up. I’m one day free and although I’m heartbroken and sad I’m finally realizing that this next girl is only gonna go through exactly what I went through. Good luck to her I guess.
He's a horrible monster that you should have, to quote my dad (in response to the videos I showed my dad of some of the abuse I went through; and me telling him that my "boyfriend" took my car keys from me to make me stay), run away screaming from; and he's going to be even worse in the future. He might be able to manipulate things better thanks to what he learned from you lol (I can guarantee you that's what my ex is doing), but that's only going to delay the inevitable of him being the most horrendous monster on planet Earth to this new victim.
I swear I felt!
Hi i was a victim of this but i want someone to talk to me...
I'm reading this and crying.I'm going through what you went..He calls me who*e, dog etc..I'm planing to leave in the morning and never come back.Hope you are doing ok.
@@kenakena9791 can we text each other on WhatsApp
I think they make you come back just so they can dump you. Because to them they can’t fathom being dumped. It’s a revenge plan for them. Like “you dare leave me? No one leaves me, I leave you”
Yes this has happened twice to me. After I called quits from sheer frustration they would indicate we could work things out and just string me along. The first one took me a month until they said "oh I've found someone else now" the second one I picked up what was happening after a week and called it quits for good. It's really shit behaviour. The first one tried to hoover but had no such luck. 🤣
This exact thing happened to me. I almost called it quits on a Wednesday, they turned the conversation around and took me out on a Friday then broke up with me less than 24 hrs later.
@@yoki1234 this happened to me. I was about to break it off with him over the phone (we were long-distance). He hung up on me the sent me a voice memo that he was breaking up with me! Later, he sent me a hateful email of all the reasons he broke up with me. And it was all projection!
If you left them, you ruined their discard. They want you back for revenge.
@@yoki1234 They want to inflict the pain. I'm glad I left the narcissist first!!!
This woman knows her stuff. It's insane how spot on she is. Narcissists are almost textbook predictable
Don't forget, THEY ARE ALL THE SAME! 😮
because she’s lived it!
Its too accurate
@@imah6249- Ain’t they just. Have you ever been hit by a nuclear bomb called “ Love bombing “.
This is the craziest part of this disorder to me is how once you can see it, they're all so similar
And everyone remember: narcs are miserable evil human beings, don’t miss them, be glad to live without them. Forget them but don’t forget the lesson, we can now more easily recognize the narcs.
only way i look at i now after this.
My bestie came out to be a narcissist.
It breaks my heart and I’m literally crying right now because I have been through the worst relationship with the most terrible kind of narcissistic person. I feel so sorry for that old me. I’m very happy in life now but the thought of someone killing you, crushing your soul completely to a point where you feel as if you’re a piece of garbage, who was thrown out on the street and this person picked you up and helped you. Seriously its the most disgusting feeling.
I hope you're okay rn!!! :(((
They say things will get better....keep living your best life
stop navel gazing and expecting sympathy - move on with your life. It's easy to see why you attracted a narc
@@user-xn2hf9re8r errm thanks I guess I’ll keep that in mind🙏🏼
It’s the worse!😭 I just went through the same & the thought of it is horrible I’m so sorry
The confusion you experience while with a covert narcissist is indescribable. I've had boyfriends that were abusive but it's just so different. CN are so convincing that not only will the things they do break your heart but it completely throws u off because it's something u can't even picture them doing. If that makes sense. They make u believe they are a certain kind of person not capable of doing the things that your ex's did or what would hurt u most. That's what's so confusing then they blame u somehow because it's always your fault. I have been with a covert narcissist for 10yrs. No matter how many times I have been through the cycle or seen him rage I still can't picture it when he is love bombing me. Its the craziest thing.
I guess everyone is different but for me the constant state of confusion is the absolute worst and most abusive part. But there are plenty other ways they abuse their partners… Withholding and silent treatment. You feel like your going to explode inside. Mine does this so I freak out and then he can blame me for the argument. Physically abusive. When a CN feels trapped they will do anything they can to regain that power and control. Or take something from you what u won't give them. Sexually abusive. Blaming u for watching porn, sex shaming u, withholding sex, having sex with u while your asleep. Blaming you for everything. Blaming you for having to blame you!
Additionally, If you're facing a difficult decision about divorce and need proof of infidelity, working with a private investigator could provide clarity. In some states, even though "no fault" divorce is common, having evidence of infidelity might still help in certain situations. If you're looking for professional, discreet support to uncover the truth, you might want to reach out to MetaspyClubLLC@gmail. com for guidance. Taking this step can give you the confidence to move forward.
7 months no contact after 12 years but damn this hurts!!! I can’t even imagine being with anyone after this level of hell.
Neither can I !!
Just remember the hell they put you through, that usually helps like oh yeah f that person 🙊
Congratulations for getting out!!! It hurts, it is hard BUT it does get better... I promise!!
Hang in there it WILL get better but not immediately. Healing from these relationships can take so very long because we can spend so much time ruminating on the narcissist and the "relationship", but in 5-7 years you will LAUGH at the absurdity of it all.
You need to heal. This can take an extraordinarily long time if you can't find a way to accept that you were totally snowed/duped/used as supply by this person. The faster you can accept that, and learn from it, the faster your brain (and yes, it is your brain that needs to heal from the confounding behavior of that narcissist that defies all logic and human decency) will stop ruminating and began to think of yourself.
It is normal to think about what happened, but it can takes years of studying Cluster B disorders before you really comprehend what those people are, why they turned out that way, what happened in the 1st five years of their childhood that turned them into a narcissist before they even reached age 6, and that from the moment you met that narcissist they began playing you and will still play you today if you allow them to keep in touch with you.
Good luck! I sincerely wish you the best as you begin to learn, heal, move on, and grow! Hopefully, Trump will be out of office soon so you won't have to see that windbag of a narcissist every day in the news, which may keep triggering your pain.
Sending you love and a huge hug! Many of have been there, and now feel so grateful to have those energy-suckers out of our lives forever.
Now is the time for self-healing, self-love, and rediscovering what life has to offer you!!
I left after 5 years.... he stalked me called me all types of names, lied on me. He even threatened to put pictures of me on the internet. At the same time was sending me gifts, emails, and texts telling me how much he loves me and how he will change if I come back.
You can actually sue him for threatening you with pictures
This is why you never EVER allow someone to take nude photos of you, even if you are married to them. So happy for you that you got out and I hope you are able to stay out. You deserve better. Hold your head high and move on to someone who will treat you well and not love bomb you.
Real love takes a long time to form. Instant relationships are a HUGE red flag, waving all over the place. Go S L O W L Y and make sure they respect you....as their equal.....before you ever become intimate (not a morality thing, just an emotionally mature and healthy way to enter into a relationship).
If you got away, you survived a very toxic person. Be grateful. Take excellent care of yourself and be awesome!
le th absolutely you’re correct....thank you so much
@@tashanicole7524
Same basically. Mine even befriended my old lady neighbor so he could SPY on me! All the while he'd flip between gifting me and berating me... Depending on how he thought I was being sucked back in. It was terrible.
He called me hundreds of times when I finally stopped responding.
I dated a narcissist for 3 months. He had a disturbing calmness and seemed to gloat when I was in pain about the relationship ending. It was very disturbing and I was in denial.The most emotion I saw on his face was when I said to him let’s end the relationship. There was shock on his face for about a second before he went back to calm. God, thank you for protecting me! 🙏🏾
When I pointed out what he did, he just laughed and said I remembered wrong.
Wow! The one I was with did that too.... She would smile for just a second. Then act like she loved me so much that she could never do the awful things I caught her doing.
Mine did also, and I was in a relationship with him for a year and a half. I told him I was done with him and that one day I hope he realizes how much I loved him and he said “good”
That’s so scary most of the scary ones are the ones who are super calm people and they have eyes to reel you back into there fake persona
@@christinaelena7279 flashbacks omg I’m so sorry
My couples therapist actually started siding with my narcissistic partner, and they made me feel crazy. The more I cried, the more I looked unstable. I remember that day vividly, and sadly, I think about it occasionally, which makes me realize how manipulative this person is. We share a child, and he is about to become a lawyer. I fear ending up like Betty from "Dirty John". Wish me luck, guys. I'm planning my way out.
Run please run
U got it girl! Don't worry, just be strong n fight for your happiness n freedom! Bless u n ur child!
This happened to me!!! The abuse escalated after the therapist told us it’s me!! She empowered him by siding with him! I had to get out immediately because it became life and death (he wasn’t physically harming me but he’d have me up all night, drunk, interrogating me, then I’d have to go to work. She made my marriage 10x worse and she halted any possibility for him to heal and become a better dad. The amount of damage she did is massive and it kills me to know she’s probably doing it to others.
❤❤❤
No point going to relationship therapy unless you want to witness them at their most narcissistic best: it will be more brutal than you ever imaged in your wildest nightmare
Thanks doctor and Kyle...!!
The narcissist will discard someone who is often an extremely loving, solid and providing person 💙💙🙏😪
Hi Robert,very true they are very bad spirits .pray fr me to get a good loyal authentic rare Man in my love just to love me and I him.
Exactly.
@@El-vi6lg least we hope so. Lessons in life 😆
Damn, you are 100%. I did my level best to satisfy her still I couldn't able to hold her.
@@akhtaruzzamanjoy8524 story of life. I also did the best I could for her since 2006 and stayed in the relationship hoping that she'd change
Dr Ramani is GOLD!!! Listen to and follow EVERYTHING that she says. I was trapped in an abusive relationship with a sadistic covert narcissist, it was truly horrific. I followed her advice... I was able to escape, survive and now thrive!! Happiest I have ever been because I truly appreciate my freedom and have learned to love myself. The destination is totally worth the journey... don't give up!! You are worth it!!
It was messy, it was emotional, I was almost hoovered back but when I found out about narcissism I made a quick decision to just disappear and never contact them again. It is so disturbing how their mind works, after giving them tons of empathy, understanding and emotional support I was the one who apparently planned the break up just to hurt them even more because they were 'going through a difficult period' in their life. According to them, all along it was my evil plan... The moment I blocked all the available ways of contact I felt so free and happy again, the best decision ever! Narcissists have no conscience, they look out just for themselves. I don'y want to deal with people like that ever again in my life. The positive thing from all this mess was learning the red flags and how to spot these people. Please, if someone makes you feel confused, you keep apologising for stuff you didn't do and are afraid to say something because they'll get angry, get away from them as soon as possible! And trust your intuition! I ignored it, even though it kept telling me something is wrong right from the beginning.
Best thing you did was not go back. I ended up making the mistake of going back and our relationship ended with her cheating on me AFTER I was the one who came back and gave her the second chance.
so true!! I've just walked out of my relationship 5 days ago and it's been the hardest decision i've ever had to go through, but the emotional abuse was too much to bear & i literally don't want to even give him the time of day to 'Talk' to me about it all because they just confuse you even more and know how to pull you back in!
Sooooo trueee....omgg
I was hoovered back 4 years ago. I broke free today. Thank you for helping me see the relationship and the abuse for what it really is. I won't be falling for it again. I can't believe how much I have been guilted just today. I honestly thought I was worthless. I was ready to take my own life. Today me and my daughter are safe in hiding.
Wow all the best to you and your daughter. I just left mine too. God Bless you.
Hang on in there and trust yourself, stay strong, you're going to be alright xx
God bless you! I’m so glad you figured out what was going on and I hope you see it as a ray of hope now. You’re not alone ❤
I got hovered 3x
I ended a relationship with a narcissist yesterday. Rough! These videos helped immensely.
How u feel now 🙂
I ended two days ago and already the destruction of my life has began.
OMG I absolutely love this woman! She is so extremely knowledgeable!
This is so spot on! Just left my abusive & narcissistic relationship because it was constant lies and he cheated, not even 24 hours later he was with another woman. Narcissists will use you until you’re useless to them, but they ALWAYS come back. Always. It hurts
Why is this so relatable?
This is true💔
How did you deal with this
Full blown tantrums like a 6 yr. old never seen anything like it. Getting away is literally the fight of my life. At least I finally understand what I'm fighting. Thank you
This chick use to jump up and down and scream , and do hella shit break into my house after saying I’m done with hwr
I think us women can all agree that them getting the “new supply” hurts us the most and not because you’re jealous of her but because of how he did you so wrong and is now “happy”!😩
Maybe it only looks that way from the outside.
@@angelabutterfly255 hope so
I'm late on this but anywho...I firmly believe the new Woman will eventually see through their BS.
‘Us women can all agree’? Please don’t pretend there are no narcissist women and male victims of their abuse!
I agree..I think that is one thing I always have in my prayer when for him..I say Lord please dont him be with anybody else..If he is Lord..Dont let him ever walk back in my life again..
You realize the lie you were living and the narc was never a partner...and the reality hits you like a wall...I suggest keeping a journal to remember your original thoughts
This is a great idea
Yes..
I did this with my current narc who discarded me 2 weeks ago. I read back about all the things thst were just wrong over 3 years and instead of being hysterical im just dead numb.
Yup. My ex narc discarded and ended our engagement. I was so hurt. After realizing he was a narc and everything was fake. Oh man. It was hard and just truly hurtful. I’m picking myself back up. One day at a time.
Very accurate suggestion!:)
After 2 hooverings, I've just ended it this morning. I'm proud of myself because I did it from a healthy place, and I did it with grace. I was polite, clear, and wished him well. His response was "So what?" Definitely did the right thing.
How are things now? X
@@chelseaannemayte He messaged me a day later angrily blaming me for everything, and when that didn’t get the reaction he wanted he tried to guilt me into being friends. That’s worked on me before but this time I just said I didn’t think it was healthy.
Radio silence for just over a month. Thought it was done, but he came back trying to lovebomb again. Super romantic and as though nothing had happened. Wants to see me and talk. Wants to try again. Don’t I remember how good it was? Don’t I know he loves me?
I decided that polite indifference was worth a try. He got bored of short, unemotional responses that took days to arrive and it’s been a couple of weeks now since he bothered me. He’ll be back, but now I see what he is it’s harder for him to trigger me.
@@lilymarianna8776 well done so pleased for you x
@@chelseaannemayte Thank you, I really appreciate that 🙂
Good job 👏🏽
If you absolutely have to “deal” with a narc, I would recommend to keep firm bounderies, and keep your distance at the same time. As a second choose on how to deal with the narcissist I would recommend keeping firm boundaries and also to correct them every time they missteps, lie, manipulates etz. When your boundaries are not respected by the narcissist, you need to follow through with consequenses of bad behaviour. You will have your hands full going forward this way. When following through with consequenses to their “re”actions, you explain to the narc, that you are not one of the narc`s victims. You have no intentions of becoming one but will be a nuisance to the narcissist in a way that is irritating to him/her. This method is not risk free but narcissists will often choose the path of no or low resistance. This method is a time consuming path to chose. This route sometimes require more time than you would like to spend on these issues. You feel that distancing yourself all together would have been easier. That is however not always possible. Often there is no way to avoid him/her. You unfortunately have to deal with the narcissist because you are colleagues or close family. You must think through what you need the narcissist to respect and what arias of conflict you must pay extra attention to, to keep your integrity and to detect manipulative behavior. Be prepared and clear in your communication and stick to your guns. Try to stay under the radar as much as you can, even when this method is the best for you. A way that works as well is to play along with the narcissist and act like you agree with everything they do and say. This method works well until many people in the narcissists sphere do the same. When everyone agrees with the narcissist you are back on square one. The narcissist must have victims and this setting is no different. To go NO Contact is another good alternative and method, and is probably the best option when it is possible to cut all contact permanently. Additionally, That feeling when your partner cheated and you don't have the courage to leave him / her so you just death with the pain and live everyday asking questions about your worth. This pain is different from the cheating one_living and seeing him everywhere anticipating when him or she do it again. The best thing is to hire above private investigator Metaspyhub@gmail. com to help you spy on their cellphone remotely just like he did for me.
Dr Ramani you are soooo very correct in the FEAR that many of us believe and stay in the relationship!!
When you leave a narc, it feels like freedom from a cage or prison. Like you walked out of a storm into the sunshine or a dungeon into a bright beautiful day. Like you can breathe easier, relax, and see everything differently. A feeling of revelation. But that feeling can be short lived, unless you are prepared for what the narc you left may do next. The narcissist attack is sneaky, psychological and powerful. The only chance you have of defeating it is knowing about it and being prepared.
The narc will likely be real calm, nice and even sweet. Apologetic, thoughtful, and things like that. But be prepared and don’t fall for it because it’s a trick to throw you off guard. Just remember, that this nice bit shouldn’t come after a breakup. The individual had the chance to be nice in the relationship and never was. So it’s always a trick, with no exception.
I feel like I walked out of prison into the insane asylum.
Narcissists don't form attachments to people, they attach other people to themselves. So when there is no attachment there, it's very easy to jump over to someone else. It's like throwing a pair of socks in the laundry and get a new clean pair right away.
They are so cold hearted
I always used to say that I felt like a tou on the top shelf that never got played with until he was tired of the other toys and was bored and then pulled me off the shef hoping I would fill the void..for a while yes, until he got bored again and back on the shelf I went
To the point. The one I was semi-with professionally had me so caught up. The more I spent with her, I realized it was a literal I & me show, thought I was in the twilight zone. .. the more I gave, the more control she wanted too. As soon, like in a matter of a few hours mind you, but as soon as I exercised self power, choice, she ended it, no warning.
That comment about not wanting to leave because you fear they will be the person you want when you do to someone else is literally what I felt having just gotten out of an emotionally manipulating narcissistic relationship.
I hate that this stops me from leaving
Same I feel like he'll be like his old sweet self with another girl
This is very strange to me. I have never been in a relationship like this but I watch these videos because my sister is in a really bad relationship and a close friend just got out of one. I am trying to get a better understanding of all of this. The idea that someone, whether male or female, would stay with someone so horrible because they might just be different for the next person makes no sense to me. I’m not trying to be rude but I’m trying to wrap my head around it. Why on earth would you want to stay with someone who does that period? Like…..so what if they change for another person. They aren’t changing for you so clearly they don’t want to or don’t have the capacity. Is it some kind of mental thing that they do over time to make someone think that?
It’s brainwashing. Think of a narcissist as a cult leader.
For me it was the fear the person will get worse when I leave them. They made me feel like I was their moral compass keeping them together. I was scared they'd go full psychopath
i’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist for five years now, constant cheating and lying and gaslighting me. everytime we broke up he had a new girlfriend within a week. these videos have made me realize that he’s not going to change for me, i’m now going to slowly work on getting out of the relationship. thank you for posting these.
Exactly my situation even the five years it hurts but it hurts losing yourself choose you x
Did you actually get out? Why the hell would you go back if he had a new girlfriend IN A WEEK 😂 stand up for yourself
What’s the update?
Your story is exactly the same as mine. We broke up for real this time and he posted a girl 2 weeks later on his socials with a heart ❤️ emoji 🤣💔 I’m hurting but, the sun will rise and we will try again👍🏽
good luck. Remember it has NOTHING to do with you and EVERYTHING to do with them.
The breakup with my narc ex boyfriend was one of the most painful experiences I’ve ever gone through.
It hurts with mega agony inside and it feels like your stuck in loop of emotional pain triggers. Every day can be torcher especially when they hoover to get us bk with their love bomb overload.
Having the ups and downs but when the emotions hit they hit hard. Always thinking he would change. It’s like u can’t detach.
Times a great healer and through determination and day by u start to ease and get to a point u can get through the pain that eases gradually.
I’m still healing but I know I got rid of him for a very good reason.
Once u see the mask slip u see through them. It’s the memories of how they pretended that we yearn for again. Which is why we must remember their true within that is dark and miserable. They never let go but wonder off for a short time when they have other entertainment for their attention seeking needs.
Hold on to that belief of who they really are ready for their next come bk.
Every word coming out of Dr. Ramani's mouth is pure gold. Her videos literally saved me from a narcissist abusive person.
same as me ,i hurt and i only knew her for 2 months.
Great video, A month ago, my five-year relationship came to an end. I really can't stop thinking about the love of my life, who made the decision to leave me. I've done everything in my power to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I genuinely miss him and just can't stop thinking about him, even though I've tried my hardest to stop thinking about him. I'm not sure why I'm saying this here.
It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counsellor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?
His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive
Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
I experienced the whole cycle.... I fell for the hoovering and the love bombing, devaluation and the discard was so quick that I am experiencing emotional whiplash. He had someone waiting.
How are you doing now after 9 months? Im going through the same thing rn.
@@petergriffinmk2884 hi. I would love to say that I am over it. The SINGLE best thing that I inadvertently did was "make voice notes" on my phone about something that he did. When I read these, I am reminded of the reality. Too often, we wear "fantasy colored" glasses viewing the intoxicating relationship. These real time notes remind me of the reality which helps me stay away from him. There is no doubt that the feelings for the other person were strong and thus easy to sit within the forefront of our thoughts. When we actually are faced with the sadness and disappointment we experienced with them we are held accountable to ourselves. We cannot escape into the world of emotional masturbation that the relationship was healthy, loving and respectful. You are not alone. Reach out as often as you want. Feel free to vomit your sadness and grief. There is someone here to hold your head and comfort you. ~ me
@@dlwsport250 Thank you so much I appreciate it. Its honestly one of the worst kind of mental abuses out there, bc you put so much faith and trust in the person and you genuinely feel like they love you, and you think that love is all you need in a relationship while ignoring all the red flags. My bf of 1.5 years was cheating on me the whole time with a girl. Everything we did and everything he said was a lie. I am now left with these 2 realities, one that demolished straight through my life a few days ago and flipped my whole world upside down when i saw their texts, and the other reality being the fantasy reality of thinking he was there for me and he was mine and he loved me and cared for me and never wanted to hurt me. Both of these realities are fighting it out in my mind and its so hard to erase the fantasy, because it was real for me. Hands down, the hardest thing ive ever had to endure.
@@dlwsport250 I have a question though. If you had a chance to get back at him for hurting you, would you? My bf is now still with his gf of 8 years and he seems so unfazed that im out of his life, even though i dedicated almost 2 years to him. Do you think she needs to know about the cheating? I would tell her, but she knows his family and friends and she might out him for being gay in front of everyone and he will get kicked out of the house and all his homophobic friends will leave him and he will be left alone in life. Im afraid if he were to go into depression and be all alone and might even commit suicide, i wouldnt be able to live with that burden. But I do think she deserved to know. Near the beginning of their relationship, the girl apparently went to him before her wedding night (she was getting an arranged marriage to another guy) and confessed her love for him. My ex being as selfish as he is, dragged her along, and so she got married and divorced 3 weeks later. And when I asked him, he still doesnt take any responsibility for that. I dont know what to do.
@@petergriffinmk2884 Ask yourself honestly, "How does it serve you to get back at him?" My ex said awful things about me to his family. Awful as in "she contributes to sexual abuse" This allegation is so hurtful and demeaning that I am still in a struggle to not reach out and clear my name. People hurt people on purpose to in essence keep them away with more threats of destroying your decency, your name and your character. I ask you to consider being your own Knight in Shining Armour and Stay on Your White Horse. This person who was in your life literally phukked with your good spirit.
I ask that you consider "Don't Take Bullshit From Fuckers". Please look up Natasha Adamo's Post Male Syndrome. It is for everyone of us that have allowed others to hurt us not just in the break-up but whilst we were still trying to be good to them and get good from them.
Thank you for trusting that you are not alone. ~ me
The main fact that is hard to wrap one's mind around is the fact that they actually hate and are terribly envious of their lovers/victims. I remember playing the piano and singing, and I was so happy, doing what I Iove to do, and i looked over at the narc, and I felt this negative/evil energy. At first, I tried to downplay it, thinking he was bored or something. But, it didn't take long for me to realize that there was no excuse for his evil/dark energy especially when I'm being genuinely happy. Knowing what I know now, he was obviously feeling incredibly hateful and jealous because of my sincere and genuine happiness and talent as a musician. He's jealous. Honestly, I didn't realize opposite sexes could be jealous of one another, as I have never been jealous of a man before, only women. It's hard to digest the fact that people would seriously be that insecure, but, it's reality, unfortunately when it comes to sick-minded individuals who nothing close to normal.
Mine was jealous of my child’s father and I relationship and me being a mother. His bm wasn’t shit and he hated her for that but I think he resented me cause I was a good mom That’s was weird
Same! I also didn’t realize that a man would be jealous of me, but I felt the same negative vibe when I was talking about something I was proud of
I feel you with they topic
He was like : you can't be happy and I'm sad. So basically I should be sad when he's sad and even when he's happy, I should still be sad.
He told me : I hate you and then apologized that it's a slip of the mouth but I saw his eyes. The anger in his eyes when he said it. I've never forgotten that energy
yeah mine tried to stop me running and having a dog - fuck him I left within a few months
This is so true! It's like watching her speak about the exact thing that I'm going through right now and have went through for the past six years. Each day is still a struggle. Actually sometimes it's minute by minute. When you're dealing with a narcissist, it just messes with your head a whole lot more. Especially when you really loved this person or you thought that you loved this person. And they can just be so incredibly cold.
I totally get the minute to minute thing. I learned something called Combat Breathing from a Jocko Willink (former Navy Seal) podcast. I would do this while brushing my teeth; if I even got to brush my teeth for the day because of all the drama and complete chaos just so I wouldn't totally lose it and go stark raving bonkers
Left mine about 3 month ago. This freedom and inner peace I have now is beyond words. Better to be alone and giving the love to my inner child who was abused so many years. Get healthy again and dont let you hoover in again!! Trust me - life is so much better then! Bless you all
This is my story now
i think i'm getting there..
I'm getting there.
Breakups can be a blessing in disguise! It's not always meant for makeup, but rather it ends in order for you to wake up! So instead of trying to fix something that is broken, start over to create something that you will attract better.
💙TH-camr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships
Yep I fell back down that rabbit hole after being out for 2 years and now back in the same hell as before. I thought I was stronger than I actually was. Never ever go back, it doesn't change.
Angela Plummer,You look gorgeous 🌷,Hope you are not with a narcissist!
You got that right Angela, not going back it is really hard. Through a small group of really good friends I was able to hold on to a sliver of self-respect and not get sucked back in. I have spent the last three and a half years trying to forgive myself for staying in it as long as I did. I have scars on my soul that may never go away.
@@brianreed8271 I don't think you ever go back to the person you were before the path of damage a narcissist creates. However, you walking way took enormous strength and perseverance and it belongs to you and not them. Getting away from the control and abuse and beginning the soul healing process can be tough but so worth it. Always be proud of the strength you had to get away, that is huge! I started studying the Boundaries book/workbook a couple years ago and that has helped me tremendously. I have armored myself, live my life as much as I can on my terms and no longer allow myself to be sucked into the black hole of attacks. For the moment I can't leave but I never give up that the day will come that I will be able to get out. My heart breaks for anyone who has suffered in relationships like these.
@@aplummer9670 life is to short to live in a toxic relationship.get out now !
@@aplummer9670 name of the book plz
This video is DEAD ON what happens. Thank you for being part of my recovery and opening my eyes to what was going on
She nailed it ! All my good peoples don’t hold any resentment or guilt towards the narcissist it will eat you alive. It’s been 1 month since I left my narcissist ex gf and I’m finally getting over the hump. Just accept your feelings and unpack it. The common denominator is they aren’t meant for you and you will find someone better trust me
Absolutely 🎉🎉🎉
I love Dr.Ramani. She teaches me so much and how to survive around manipulative and toxic people.
I def felt broken and been narcissistic during my relationship before, I don’t think it’s a permanent character flaw since I’m here on this video obviously trying to learn about my flaws. I want better for my loved ones
I left my Narcisist husband almost 3 years ago. Took a lot of strength, I was there living with my Narcissistic partner away from my family and friends in a different province. I was afraid he might pull something or try to hurt me. Ps, he had brainwashed my parents so good, they believed him over their own daughter. Now, my parents are understanding what had happened. He was mentally, physically and emotionally abusive. Took everything he could take from me. It wasn't easy just understanding how he psychologically and emotionally tortured me and ruined me. I still get nightmares about him controlling me. Please, if u think you are in a relationship with a Narcissist, RUN. They will ruin you in ways you cannot imagine and they will NEVER change. There is NO HOPE in that relationship also not your job to fix him/her. Focus on getting better and healing. ❤
Once you have escaped your toxic relationship, don't let the damage carry on. Reflect on it. Think about everything you learned about yourself and other people while you were doing your best to make things work with this untenable person. Don't live your life out hating them, fact is, they could not help being what they are. YOu are a survivor, and you have a new life to live far wiser than most.
I am BLOWN AWAY how acurate this is! Totally relate! Wow
I just left my narcissistic ex. It was so hard, but the best decision I could ever make for myself ❤️
How?
Awesome .. I’m looking to date , are you available?
Don't go back. If he's likely dangerous, go apply for a job with a Sheriff's department so some similar place. Make some real friends in the department. That's your best bet for safety!
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
It’s not harder to leave a narcissist. Its literally a “nightmare.”
Every thing shared in this video is all true and more. The narcissist sees you as their property and will seek to scorch you. Its painful to escape a narcissist.
The narcissist in my life got into a serious relationship in a short period time after scorching my life and leaving me without support of any kind. It was wicked.🤕
I feel you so much. You're not alone
Same just happened to me
Interesting take. Her comment regarding the difficulty of extricating from a narcissist is so true. Why is it so difficult? My belief is that, if you are the opposite, ie, an empath, then you view it as insensitive and un-empathetic to dump the narcissist. And, tragically and hopelessly, you hang onto hope that you can “reform” the narcissist, which is laughable. I am living this nightmare now. I have a very smart female friend, a confidant, with whom I would like to have a romantic relationship, and she has patiently counseled me. However, she has reached the stage where she says, she is no longer the problem, you are, for staying in a toxic relationship. Do you want to consciously be unhappy for the rest of your life when it is within your control to fix it?
Hoovering. I've been searching for a term to describe the cycle I was stuck in for a long time and here it is.
Samantha Doub,You don't deserve to be with a narc 😈 cause you are beautiful!!🌹🌹🌷
Let me tell you something after leaving a narcissist recently it was like I was running for my life. He literally was the craziest person I have ever been with. Please pay attention to these signs because it could save your life and your heart. It is not easy dealing with them at all!
They are capable of murder. I pray everyone listens and uses logic vs emotions
@@KaliLinuxx buy a gun, get a concealed carry permit. I've been through this.
Before my past relationship, I was extremely confident, no insecurities of any sort.
And now I'm insecure af, anxious, feeling inadequate and what not.
But I'll get back and come out better.
She had so many options open while being with me and I was dedicated and only had her in my life.
So now I'm gonna be alone and she'll go to her next target.
By the way, an early flag of NPD is how they potrey their past relationship.
They'll make a version of their ex and you'll feel like it wasn't their fault at all and the ex was the asshole for treating this person so bad and then BOOM.
THEY'LL MAKE YOU THE SAME VERSION OF THEIR EX.
And guess what?
You'll be the devil in her next stories.
NPD people will never accept even a bit of their mistake so they don't get any guilt and hence don't need to improve or change themselves.
The best thing is to leave, without trying to solve anything. Just leave.
Let them think you were wrong because there's no way you can convince them of their wrongdoings.
So, leave and enjoy the peace.
Being alone in peace is wayyyy better than living with someone in constant chaos.
I was hurt and heart broken when a very big problem occurred in my marriage seven months ago, between me and my wife . so terrible that she took the case to court to file a divorce. She said that she cannot continue to stay with me again,and she said "I don't love you anymore" So she took her things out of the house and made me and my children passed through several emotional pain. I tried all my possible means to get her back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and she confirmed it that she has made her decision,and she never wanted to see me again. So one evening,as i was coming back from work,i meant an old friend of mine who asked of my wife .So i explained every thing to him, so he told me that the only way i can get my wife back, is to visit a prophet to know what is really behind this issue, because it has really worked for other people too. So i never believed in spell, but i had no other choice than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the Email address of the prophet. prophetehiagwina@gmai l.com. So the next morning, i sent a mail to the address he gave to me, and the prophet respond the following day and assured me that i will get my wife back the next day. Hopefully I believed since my friend recommended me to him, ,so we discussed and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my wife who didn't call me for the past 7 months, gave me a call to inform me that she was coming back. So Amazing!! So that was how she came back that same day ,with lots of love and joy, and she apologized on her mistake ,and for the pain she caused me and my children. Then from that day ,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before ,by the help of a prophet . So, i will advice you out there if you have any problem contact PROPHET EHIAGWINA, i give you 100% guarantee that he will help you.. Email him at: prophetehiagwina@ gmail. com or call/whatsapp +2348139182295
prophet ehiagwina can help solve problems such as:
genetic battle
spell to kill or distroy your enemy
spell to get a good job
win lottery
dealing narcissist spell
Avenge someone
Spell to someone
and many more
I went through the same hell💁🏼♀️
THIS IS SO TRUE!!!!!! Someone finally said it!!! Thank you for explaining my entire relationship for almost five years.
I have the exact same story........
@@YourNameHere141 He explained it perfectly, after 49 of living now I'm dealing with this mess. I hope peace and happiness for us all....
I'm many decades past dealing with narcissists, or now IMMEDIATELY recognize them, and I appreciate this sober, concise discussion, but mostly I say, GOOD DOG! (the lab lying on the floor there).
The dog. Gives this difficult topic a peaceful feeling. 🥰
I feel as if she knew my ex-husband personally. He checks all the boxes.
Exactly like she was a fly on the wall during the whole relationship
Yessss It was creepy looking more at her videos like she had a secret camera in my life
I absolutely love the MedCircle videos and site because the prompts and back and forth but her TH-cam page is really great too and I highly recommend checking it out.
@@ArgoDawn Subscribed. Thanks for the tip. It's relieving to know there are more me's out there but scary to learn how many "him's" exist. At least now I can learn to recognize the signs early on.
If so go to dr. Ramani s youtube channel and check sm of her videos about narcs ..you ll be mesmarized
I’m still dealing with the ptsd from leaving npd/bpd relationship with my baby about 9 months ago. So these videos are really helping that pain and confusion die down a bit because it never really leaves. Thank you!!
This is like having my life read out to me. Every single thing here has happened to me and is still going on 14 years later. I only learned about all this a couple of years ago.
34 years till i knew just last week, despite my higher education, NEVER occurred to me. Actually I was called the narcissist
Same here. Married 19 years to narc. Everything she talked about was my life. I have been divorced from him for 18 years. It gets easier and easier...trust yourself and stay strong.
Because they do a thing called Mirroring and projection. They accuse you of the very thing they themselves do to you. @@knight44f
Aloha from Honolulu. Binging on Dr. Ramini & Drs. Carter & Bryant. Left husband of 33 yrs - 10 days no contact. Yo made me strong & aware! God bless.🛐✝️📖😁😎🏖
Hang in there. You are better off.
Congrats Karyn!!! It is hard, but stay strong!! Your life will be SO MUCH BETTER!!! I promise!!
Stay strong. No contact is hard but the best way to deal with the ex.
Stay strong! The feeling of relief is wonderful!🦋🌺. I'm 2 years post narc relationship, and still so happy in my freedom! (He left me for his next supply)
They will burn your passport if they can.... plan your scape....
I am 60yrs. Married to a covert narc for 40yrs.
Finally leaving him
Sending you love and light 🙏🏻❤️
@Fay Ceedat My HEART goes out to you. I can't imagine enduring this for so long. I was only with a FRIEND for a couple of years and I'm DEVASTATED!
Dr. Ramani, I'LL TAKE THAT PARADE NOW!
Good for you ❤
Thank God you left..freedom now!!
I was with a narcissist boyfriend for almost 8 years. When things started it was great but after few months he became possessive and starts picking my friends, like whom i should hang out with and stuff. I felt like a bird keep in a cage. I wanted to break free but it was hard as i have grown to love him. I was depressed and he left me anyhow. And now After 5 years of breaking up ang through this talk show and thanks to Dr Ramani, i began to grow again mentally and hopefully all the years with the depression took away from me will return again eventually.
At least you learnt from your experience. Live, learn, and grow. Undertake character development and be a person that you can be proud of! And above all else, become emotionally and intellectually independent! This should be your personal aspiration via character development. You'll make for difficult prey for any narcissist.
Tess, make sure that you eat nutritous food, Keto with pasture raised cheap cuts of meat(liver & kidneys) & make bone broths too. Do some fasting. Watch encouraging videos, do a bit of yoga or any other exercise you enjoy. Nurture & love yourself & healing will come. You got this.
Wishing you happiness & peace.
This was the first time I realised what had happened to me, just over a year ago. What you describe is exactly what happened when I left him. Wow you saved me girl. Thank you
The dog in this video is clearly living his best life.
Just broke up with a narcissist and this really helped me not go back ! Thank you 😊
Dr. Ramani is spot on at the very end of this video starting at 6:50 about preparing to leave a narcissist. My exhusband did all the things she mentions, to include trying to get sole custody of my two children. Over a decade later, I'm STILL dealing with the fallout of leaving the narc. Almost ruined me financially on multiple occasions due to dragging me through the courts that don't understand this is a form of control and abuse through manipulation. My children are no longer pawns he can legally use to hurt me, but he continues to manipulate one of my children against me. The other child took fours years of psychology in university and lots of counseling to understand their father.
Hi I’m also thinking of leaving my narcissistic husband. I have two children ages 13 & 16 I am concerned that he will fight me in court for custody I don’t want them to ever be under his care . Do you think it would be better to wait for my youngest to turn 18 years old?
Hope you can share some advice.
@@andreacruz9592 In most courts in the US, your children are old enough to choose which parent they want to live with, so you may not have a say. And if you ask the child which parent they want to live with, they may say you, but then in court may decide to go with their father.
I am about to go to court over our three year old. I am a recovering addict and I am terrified he is going to convince this judge that I am not a fit parent and get custody. He has taken her from me and had had her for three weeks. My heart is broken. He lets me see her if I got stay with him. I'm almost considering just going back to him until I can get everything in place perfectly to leave, making sure he won't get my baby. I'm so scared.
The way this woman's knowledge began to free me 4 years ago!!!! Thank you Jesus!!!! Thank you Dr. R. I thought I was crazy but I was just married to a covert narcissist. God rescued me from that relationship and he used you to confirm in my mind what I had truly been dealing with.
When mine left after 30 years, all I felt was relief. And yes he had someone waiting in the wings....and yes, I said you can't have both when I found out. Thankfully he was so full of himself and ready to "move on" divorce was quick and easy and he asked for nothing from me.
A narcissist allowed you to have a quick and easy divorce and asked for nothing? I find that hard to believe. Are you sure he wasn’t just a bad, disloyal person? It’s par for the course for a real narcissist to fuck you over every way they can and try and stay present in your mind even if they’re seeing someone else…
@@IncredibleIceCastle I guess he thought that leaving her for another woman was enough.
Hi..i was a victim of this and am looking towards getting over it but i can't i want someone to talk to....
@@lucawilliam876 I recommend you reach out to a therapist sooner rather than later.
@@carolinaotero7575 can we talk about this Private..it so important to discuss
knowing what to expect is making this so much easier for me. you’re really saving lives
I wish my college self could have heard this. Would've saved a lot of trauma.
OMG this therapist thing happened to me!! I thought I was the only one!! My ex convinced her it was me. She agreed and told me all the things I was doing wrong in front of him. He became empowered and the abuse became something that was literally going to kill me. It was the last straw and we were divorced within months. She later realized she was way off and admitted it and let my ex have it for lying to her. But she never apologized to me. That def added to my trauma. Maybe I should send her a letter for my own healing. It’s been 10 years.
Dr. Ramani is spot on about how a narcissist treats their victim. I've been free for 18 mos. I've found a happiness that is deep and rich. I'm choosing healthier relationships. He keeps trying to engage with me. Not because he loves me but because he needs someone to demean and abuse to feel good about himself.
About the love bombing. Their words seem/feel empty, don't fall for that. ;) If you're an empath you should feel the real reason someone tells you ''I love you''. When a normal person tells you I LOVE YOU, will show it thru actions and then will use words, you'll feel goosebumps...or something life changing in your heart.
I heard those insincere “I love you” many times. Always questioned them as the actions didn’t match the words.
As an empath you can feel the love in "i love you", so if you don't there is no love from that person.
@@MM-er5gp Exactly. Love in felt in the heart, is seen in the smile etc
@@josevelez7539 I wish you a deep, life changing love!💗
🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣💯
I left my Narc a month ago and have been No Contact since. She went back to her ex a few days later and got engaged. I know this because he sent me a friend request on Instagram so I could see their engagement and pictures and so I had to block him to. She downgraded back to a jobless drunk she’s gonna have to take care of. I definitely don’t want to date anyone that wants to be with someone like him. And all she did was talk shit on him the whole time we were together. Go figure
Narcs can be very codependent. They themselves like the drama.
This really speaks to me. Because I've had the same situation recently happen to me. And although she hasn't told me that she has gone back to her ex, all of the signs are there and it is crystal clear to me. But like you, I can't even begin to fathom her reasons for doing so, as she really talked bad of him when we got together and said how she was so lucky to get out of there and he abused her etc etc. So why has she gone back?! It really puzzles me. But it has also helped me to understand that the same bad talk is probably happening now as well, but it's about me this time to make herself out to be the victim and turn everyone against me. But all l I ever did was my best. I gave her everything and truly loved her and what I got in return was lies, disrespect and to be left suddenly without warning and like I meant nothing to her! It is very sad, I'm completely broken and I feel like I don't even know who I am any more.
@@DanielRD-91 First of all.. Im sorry. Sounds like she's codependent. Narcissist are codependent that's why they need constant validation. A lot of people never get out of thr trauma bond. They keep going in circles with what's familiar...and whats familiar isn't always the best for us. It kinda sounds like you are where I was about a month ago. The grief process.. is a bit circular..we go back and forth with ruminating, anger, sadness, etc. (All the steps) until...finally...you get to where I'm starting to step into.. Acceptance.. you might be there too...but then go back to being mad as hell. (I've done that) Though it sounds f up...cause I'm a complete stranger to you.. Be happy you are out of it. It took me soooo long to get there. I have my life back! I'm not dating a covert narcissist anymore! Someone whos incapable of real love, which means....my daughter and I can be loved by a good, whole hearted person ...And the same goes to you. When you are ready, healed and have processed everything this relationship put you through. ...and youre good on your own..you will attract someone who won't trigger your childhood wounds. Adults who are responsible, respectful and most importantly intelligent-- enough to know how to treat others. They will never admit that they ruined the relationship. Dont expect good things to be said because that would mean that their false persona is not real. Their friends don't know them, neither do their coworkers...Abuse happens in private. So no one will ever know that person that you knew.
By the way, I think my ex goes back to his ex too. (Thats why I initially responded to you) I found out my ex bfs ex wife lives less than 10min from him and use to live 3 min from me walking distance. That bastard never told me she was literally up the street. Sneaky fkr
I moved ;) f that drama.
oh dude - i am in the same boat - but listen to the video again - first off - she ain't taking care of him - that i can promise you - he can have all the weddings he wants he is only a quick landing spot - the only thing that guy is is someone to feed her ego until she has the next supply
You are you right. They take and take until they make you feel empty
When I was with a narcissist, it was SO different from a normal break up that I KNEW something was wrong and different. I'd had breakups before, we tended to end pretty amicably, though I did have some weird breakups before. This one was different. I felt like I had poured so much of myself into trying to help my ex, trying to be how he wanted me to be, trying to change to fit this "ideal" he had of me. And I knew he had it because he'd be in his daydream and tell me about it and I was concerned about it because I knew I wasn't going to live up to that because I'm human. Eventually, I'd been so busy trying to do so much to make this relationship work, while giving up who I was and ignoring and belittling my own wants that I ended up feeling suicidal. Which I didn't want to tell my ex, but he kept asking me, and I eventually told him I felt suicidal because of him (I wasn't good at expressing what I meant; I meant how he was treating me and how the relationship was going, but my mind just wasn't very clear at the time) and he took it as a insult. When I tried my last ditch effort to get him to change and told him if he was willing to go to therapy, too, as I was planning to go myself, he told me I was using my suicidal thoughts to manipulate him. Maybe I was, so idk. Anyway, it took us 4 months to break up because, despite me still feeling some type of way about how he had treated me and the non-apology, he still wanted us to be friends. I declined and that's when he started to treat me more rudely. However, he was continuously hoovering me (which I didn't recognize at the time) by asking me how I was or wishing me a good weekend and all kinds of other things. Through that whole thing I STILL felt suicidal because he was then telling me how hard he was taking it and saying that I had messed up our connection and abandoned him (even though we were still in contact at the time). When I finally told him I just didn't feel I could stay friends with this going on, he called me abusive and told me I was a horrible person and he wouldn't miss me and I just didn't contact him, anymore. I blocked him for about a week, then unblocked him because I was confused. I felt bad because I abandoned him. I wondered if it was really me who messed things up and if I was bad for expecting too much for the relationship. He went from saying how sad he was to a few weeks later talking about this awesome girl he met to being sad again because that girl ghosted him. I felt crappy because I was like, how was he able to jump into a new relationship so soon after we broke up while I was going through all these emotions and still feeling depressed despite knowing this was a bad situation for me. A narc breakup takes you through it. I'm still not completely over it and it's never taken me this long to "get over" a breakup.
And, yes, despite not wanting him, I always worry that he's found someone else and has done a complete 180 and is a wonderful person, who is an amazing partner. He's doing all those things he promised me with whomever he has found. I have to remind myself that that's not going to happen. Because I knew him before we started dating; I have the knowledge that he was bad in relationships before me, and I know he's probably still bad because his aim/beliefs seems to not have changed. It's still hard, though, because I still keep thinking, he was never always bad to me, so what if it was just me and that's why he was horrible to me, so someone he actually likes and respects, he will treat better.
Your story.. is mine right now. Im currently at the suicidal stage, and I have no friends to talk to because I don't want to sound crazy because every knows him as the most happy giving person. And tbh I somehow don't have contact with friends or family anymore, only his. If I bring up a little misunderstanding or ask a simple question or whatever I say no matter how I say it, I am "starting an argument " ,"turning little things into bigger then it is" then him over talking me. Me trying to get my words out so therefore frustratedand confused and i sit here wondering if i am the one who started the huge yelling argument over somthing stupid. He will maybe 1hr later act super nice and say sorry he didn't mean to hurt my feeling, and if I dont immediately act like im not hurting or upset HE then gets mad all over and tells me I need help, and maybe I do because I'm lost. Part of me knows I'm not over Exaggerating, but also a part if me feels i am!!! And i feel lost and confused and alone and just had enough, but I love him, I love who he is that 30% of the time he's not being mean, the attention part, the part I feel loved & wanted the part I feel needed.
@@abilezm5745 me exactly! my narc. husb. of 14 yrs. packed up and left again, as he does about every month, or so, goes on a drunk...or who knows what?....i'm not aloud to ask questions, speak, cough, blow my nose, or be negative whatsoever. constant lies...drug use,has been physically abusive as well....his heart is as ice cold as a shark's. why do i stay? ...ageing..disabled, no family, no friends..i need his help.. he is 12 yrs younger.
@@debby579 I'm 66, retired, on SS with a modest IRA but he walked out overnight after 14 years and I'm letting him go! He was bluffing when he left and thought I would beg him back for financial reasons, but I called his bluff every time. Divorce is almost final and he's been out of the house for almost seven months. Since he was always selfish and hoarded money he's buying me out and I have to move in a matter of weeks, and I'm going! I have been back to my Christian lifestyle and I am trusting God to restore everything that I lost in a relationship that has been so dysfunctional with every narcissist trait that these damaged people have. I decided a house is not a home and I don't want to stay with someone who only had their interests in mind from the start and hid who he really was and trapped me in a fake marriage. I'm looking forward to my peace and not feeling lonely and used any longer. Never thought I would start over at this point in my life, but I trust the Lord completely, as he's my provider.
@@abilezm5745 that's almost exactly the same situation I am in..
It's really bad... my mental health has deteriorated..
If I say or ask anything ge doesn't like.. the simplest thing.. he changes and starts screaming at me.. changing completely what I said into something else.. accuses me of saying all manner of things..
Hs says words dong matter.. wgen he says them and I should just forget and not be upset.
But then he makes words up I have said screams shouts says I'm being unfair because he has to look after himself so he doesn't relapse and drink... now he wants time alone..
Hs gaslights me.. makes nd feeling inferior in tiny ways.. speaks to me like a child..makes any suggestion to do something such a difficulty..
But will do things with his friends..
Oh the list goes on and on..
Then he says oh i as in he destroys all his good relationships and has ruined all his ex lives.
Hs does say that less because I suggested.. he really does not have that amount of power.. while his partners may have been upset they are all having a happy life now.
That relationships end often because the dynamics are not working.
He deflects all the time.. when I first suggested that.. he didnt know what I meant then went off and told a friend that's what I do..
Everyone thinks he is nice.. but it's all superficial on his terms..
I could go on forever.. I should just separate but he is like a bloody magnet to me.
He pushes and pulls .. its so hard.. especially in lockdown..
@@debby579 I get you.. and feel for you..
I'm in a similar situation and dont they hate it when they feel they have to help.or have helped.
Then they think they can be mean because they have made a cup of tea.. given you some sweets.. put the heated blanket on etc etc..
They can be so mean and nasty and frightening.. yet the smallest thing from us and it's the end of the world..
I have asked my partner not to do anything nice for me as I prefer him not to have anything he can shout at me about.
I feel I have to been on alert all the time to stay afloat with his behaviour..
He changes so quickly..always my fault.. never says sorry and he has never done anything wrong...
I feel for you.. it's an awful situation..
This described my 13 years of marriage to a narcissist exactly, but I had no idea what narcissism was at the time.. He completely destroyed me; and I still am.
The victim knows something is wrong and when you do mention something about it,the heat is tuned up and this is where it can be dangerous because they physically and mentally hurt you faster