Josh you are very self aware and make no excuses for your choices. Your soul is still in tact and you have a good head on your shoulders. Give yourself a break and get into a detox and treatment center. The first step is the hardest. Hang on to your hope and faith. It will carry you
Nah I reckon it’s basically over. If he’s using fent everyday and sleeping in a tent on skid row it’s unlikely he’ll rejoin society as a functioning individual again (not impossible just highly unlikely)
Amazing comment when he said “No one knew that this was going to be a problem, you just sniff if and you feel great.” That’s key. That’s key for young people around the world. Worth sharing to students.
Biggest mistake of my life was crushing and snorting that first pill. I looked into my now ex’s eyes and said, “ don’t worry I won’t have a problem, l’m too strong for that.” 6 yrs later……
@@SisterSunshineTV you hear it but you don’t believe it. Don’t believe it could happen to you. Has to do with a addictive personality and a form of rebelling.
Opiates are so evil. Tolerance, many varieties of the substance, and everybody's body responding uniquely to a substance....this makes opiates tricky.. I had no idea what withdrawal was when I started. Nd getting started for me was getting a concussion in a high school brawl...My dad and I were never the type to go to the hospital or doc for common things....but he wanted to be safe that day and brought me to the ER. 16 yrs old being prescribed Vicodin for a concussion. I rmbr taking one later that night nd smoking a blunt with my boys and felt like I was in heaven.....I went from that strange feeling of being hit in the head nd going thru trauma. analyzing what went down being stresses and anxious....until that Vicodin kicked in that night, and it made me forget what even happened that day..i rmbr they were 1000's...and it was 2 a day for 15 days...so 30 pills I had....For no real medical reason..had I not got that script who knows what would be different. In the end its my own choices that led me to opiates. But those gdamn doctors in the early 2000s and these pain killer companies were completely out of control
@Ryleigh Sevyn Ghetto people? He is a handsome dude who doesn't look like a typical fentanyl user ... How dare you call someone ghetto 😤 More projecting your own insecurities SMH
Out of all the interviews I’ve watched on this channel, this one is probably my favorite. This is not where his story ends. After he gets clean, I can see him being a wonderful husband and father. I can see him helping so many others. God has so many plans for his life. Praying for you Josh!
@@patrickl6932 we all have lessons our souls need to learn in this life and a lot of times we learn it through painful situations. God is working Josh just needs to do his part. We all have “relationship” with Christ and it takes two. For example marriage is a reflection of a relationship with God. God isn’t waiting to fix Josh, he’s waiting on Josh.
@@Mrskaseymunzer Stop it with the Jesus stuff.. tell that to innocent kids God is letting die of cancer... You need to understand that this concept of Jesus only exists in your head....it's not real. There is no ACTUAL evidence it is real. STOP. If this imaginary friend helps you deal with the randomness and uncertainty in this universe then so be it, just stop condescendingly saying Jesus will "decide" to help maybe one day. Stop.
@@patrickl6932 I’m not even a theist but you’re a fucking joke of a human being dawg real talk. Who gives a fuck he was real, the point is the idea of Christ is enough. Christ as a figure and not taken literally is a figure we should all try and be, the ORIGINAL writings of Christ that while dating after his supposed death show he was the kind of man you appear not to be. Tolerant.
I hear him about wanting it to be all over. When I was in active addiction I'd be mad Everytime I woke up because I'd have to deal with this shit again. Id lay awake crying because of the guilt for all the fucked up shit I've done. All the disappointment. But I'm two years clean now and never looking back. He can do it. He seems to have the want to be clean.
Good job on 2 yrs! My re-birthday is August, I will have 4. I remember that feeling, like the only hope/relief was in the fact we might not wake up. Prayers for Josh and all addicts.
Congratulations! I had the same thing going on in the morning's but I dont now, because I feel like I want to be sober more than not. And that's the morning it stopped! It took a horrible accident but it changed everything the dreams ect. I really think he's ready?
It’s was exhausting financially mentally emotionally physically spiritually. It felt like a dark tunnel with not a glimpse of light. The last day I used in 2005 as I was in my way to cop I remember crying out loud begging God to take me out I couldn’t do it anymore. Within 25 hours he took me out but not the way I wanted.. THANKFULLY
I’m on 72 hours today off of fentanyl or blues ... Been through this shit more then a few times now I’m 32 still have a long life I hope that’s ahead of Me. Ive been taking gabapentin and clonidine for sleep it fkn helps but I’m having anxiety about getting off that shit... Hope to get through it and stick with it this time.
As sad as it is, if you are using fentanyl there isn't much chance for recovery. This is a person in the early stages of addiction. It's probably only going to only get worse.
Something tells me this one will end up being a popular upload. The mention of ADHD is pivotal, and lays the foundation for the themes of his story (extremes, risk-taking behavior, talkative, social, impulsive, inconsistency in life). This one was particularly eye-opening for me, as I struggle with similar challenges due to ADHD, and many of times I’ve felt like pushing it too far, but never have. I wish this guy the very best - he’s made his struggles a hundred times more challenging by starting on opiates. No judgment - but that’s the God’s honest truth. I hope I will continue to stay strong as I learn to live as a young adult with ADHD. Regular adult life is starting to feel like a war zone as I approach 30 years old. I hope I can find a way to cope better so I can lead a happy, healthy, fulfilling life without turning the wrong way. Nevertheless, thank you, Mark, for your tireless work. You are doing an incredible amount not only for these folks you interview, but for us who watch and ultimately relate and learn.
Hey there, i am 31 and i have adhd as well. i have always felt that i was behind on everything in my life, even now i am struggling to put my life in order, i try not to compare mine and other people's life but i am trying to keep up with the responsibilities that comes with age. But really as much as i am struggling, i try to remind me how far i have come, my personal growth, not in comparison to others. I am sure that there is something that you can be proud about yourself! Have faith in you and try to take one step at a time. Dont be afraid, and from my personal experience, discipline goes a long way. Discipline helps me because on my own i am not organized. You are fine! You have potential! Ask for help if necessary. Wish you all the best
I also find normality almost impossible with my adhd. Doesn’t go well with an obsession with existential meaninglessness either. I know drugs aren’t a solution so I am mostly sober, but I don’t blame anyone who doesn’t have enough self control to stay miserable instead of escaping.
He is aware of his situation and assumes full responsibility for all his actions. This step seems to me the most difficult because it not only makes him aware of where the addiction is taking him but also of the pain of losing both what he have had and what he could have. I feel that he has the necessary strength to take God's hand out of that pit
Maybe eventually he'll get clean, maybe not. It's a good sign but self awareness isn't enough. Hope he does well but honestly we have no idea how he's doing, addiction can be hidden very easily at times and he could be doing really well or really poorly in regards to it.
What a great personable guy stuck with an awful addiction, when he spoke about choosing the drugs over Jessica it was really heartbreaking. I hope he gets better and can start enjoying living more and not wanting it too end
This guy from my neck of the woods and boy is he on point. Damn doctors would give you all that oxy not even hinting how addictive it is. I just shook that demon final about a year ago this month. Got my own apartment walking the straighten Narrow.
Good shit man. I’m from Washington state and I used to drive to Sacramento to see a dr and he would prescribe me any amount oxy I wanted. I did that once a month for about 2 years. Shit was so crooked
Have you ever worked with the homeless ? Depending on where you are there are so many programs to help people and some have mental illnesses and some want cheap drugs and no commitments . I pray you never know what I’m talking about
In his addiction yes, but lets get down to the nitty gritty of how this opiate epidemic came about. September 11, 2001 fall of the world trade center, the government knew Bin Laden controlled 80% of the opium trade in Afghanistan, so they go in and start taking it. 2002 all those pill mills opened up ( it wasn't a coincidence they landed in florida) because the government knew which states had and didn't have the tracking system in place for prescription distribution. Fast forward a few years later, 7 people a day are overdosing on oxycodone so they call it an epidemic. They start shutting down all the doctors that were prescribing them, In turn creating a vacuum for the fentanyl. So now ask yourself did they do the right thing by getting everyone hooked, take it away to get you hooked on something a 100Xs more powerful? What's the ultimate outcome of all this? Now medicare foots the bill for methadone and suboxzone which may I add ALL these drugs are made from the same plant,amazing huh?
@@bonhamcarter4488 To clarify, I meant if he got clean and worked out a bit. Drugs haven't withered him (yet) like they do most people. Don't underestimate.
The reason I find myself returning to this channel is the diversity. So many different people struggling through life due to circumstance and bad decisions. But we've all been there right? Just some of us are able to get over it and move on. Catch ourselves before we're in too deep. I really appreciate all these folks sharing their story. It reminds me how similar, delicate, flawed and persistent we are as humans.
Very insightful interview, yet filled with the needed release for his sorrow we can feel and relate to over our tech devices. Wishing Josh the BEST for the future because he is a good human. Thank you and blessings to you as well, Mark!
Shit happens and that particular drug has an extremely strong reputation for being wasted if not iv'ed, probably the strongest such reputation of all drugs. Most importantly though you dont know their relationship, the friend was very likely in a deep addiction himself and wasnt seeing too clearly. Dont be so quick to judge. You're assuming the guy had negative or predatory intentions but he very well could've been a good friend with good intentions.
Yes that made me sad to hear that guy shot him up. Who bloody does that...like it's easier NOT to shoot someone up than to go out of your way to do someone.
@@angelamarymahoney not when your getting high. When your actively in the thick of addiction and your getting high everyday with your buddies. It makes alot more sense to shoot them up. You want them to feel as amazing as you do.. it's a sick way to think but addicts have sick brains. And anyone who shoots up had someone who first shot them up. It's a cycle.
Josh, you are the most aware addict I've seen. You are so intelligent and really know what it takes to get sober. I hope you do. God does love you and He will help you. I am praying for you! I hope you find the happiness you are looking for. Everyone deserves that. Mark,. I hope we can do a follow up on Josh. His story is inspirational. Imagine what his sobriety can do to help others!!! 💙
I feel your pain bro . Been there , done that . And no point tryna work out where it all went wrong (the Ritalin) that doesn’t matter now . You realised you can’t do a geographic move away from YOU. You can’t fuck it away with women , you also can’t train it away with steroids. What you can do is accept that your actually powerless over this disease and get to a recovery program and stay around until it works for you . I wish you all the best ,from over the pond , here in the uk 🇬🇧 and trust me it will be the best thing you’ve ever done in your life and maybe you might get a wife and kids after that . Maybe you won’t . But your life will be worth more than all the money in the world . Take it easy man
I appreciate that he begins the interview in an ego state, even displaying moments of errant narcissism (dropping his IG handle while talking about his former physique, looking into the camera and calling out the beautiful women he’s loved, etc.), then just finally makes contact with his deep pain/shame and gets quiet. He switched back into “head” mode after those tears, which is what *has* to be done to emotionally survive, but I hope he’s able to spend more time in “heart” mode while he’s in treatment-where it’s actually safe to do so. In my experience, it’s the only way out. Rooting for him.
Josh, thank you for sharing your story with us, I myself am a recovering heroin addict and I will have 7 years clean in September. I have experienced a LOT of the same loss, guilt and shame that comes along with this ride. I have been homeless, been left out there alone on the streets with nothing but a good hustle to keep me fed and keep my addiction fed and at bay, at least very temporarily. I was so glad to hear you say you believe that God has got you and that notion was what got me through the worst days of my life before I got clean. PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP and continue to tell yourself God does have you, I'm sure of it and that all the beauty you once reveled in before this nightmare will come back to you tenfold and that woman who finds you will be unbelievably lucky to have found you and your parents will be so relieved and ecstatic to have their beautiful son back, fixed, at least a little bit, lol and within reach of a huge hug that each of you have been dreaming about for a long time. I would love to be able to help you in some way so if you can respond to me I will be happy to let you know how I CAN HELP and I will do so, you have my word. Love and light - Karyn
Great interview. It truly shows the struggle of addiction how no one even thinks about getting addicted but somehow falls down that path and spend years trying to get out and basically not leading the life they are born to live. Please leave this life behind Josh. You are worth it!
My heart aches for you Josh. The self-awareness and insight to your problems with which you speak tells me you can get better and stay better. Good luck mate. All my best wishes from Melbourne, Australia xo
Josh doing drugs like you’ve done alters your thinking, so in essence it isn’t a choice whether you believe it’s a disease or not. You’re still a young man, articulate, handsome, sensitive & aware. You need to make your peace with the “ wrongs “ you’ve done & let that go. Get yourself better & live a wonderful life going forward!
If its not a choice? So you're inferring he has no control and no responsibility. I know u r trying to be kind but how does he ever get out taking that approach?
i really appreciate your work mark. i’m planning on studying psychology/behavioural science at university and these interviews are an amazing insight into the true nature of humans and how much our surroundings can impact our lives. i wish you all the best and hope that you can carry on making these videos. much love ❤️
Dam you can see his pain when he starts talking about his beginning with the needle.. 😣 he's right about marriage and having a child being the happiest time of your life
Seems to me, some people just make that the goal with that in mind, and disregard the fact things arent working and then suddenly theres a fentanyl addict.
The high and the low. The romanticized part and the bottom. Thank you Mark for your compassionate voice with this gentleman. He does need a gentle hand. Thank you sir for speaking your truth honestly. Your pain, your confusion, your responsibility is felt. You can have two people inside you....it's just hard to choose the healthier one. You are strong by being honest...there's no handle on it for sure. Take that and run....we find ourselves...I pray WE find ourselves truly ❤
Seems like a solid dude and reminds me of some of my old friends. Josh if you’re reading this , keep your head up and get back in the gym. You got this
That’s exactly how it started for me. From Ritalin at 16 to oxy to heroin in my 30s. 2 yrs sober 🥳. It only stops when you’re ready for it to stop. For me, it was like flicking a switch and using all the energy and time I would spend trying to and getting high toward recovery. The resources are plentiful if and when you want to make a change.
So articulate, so aware, so real. I see something good in this person and I truly wish them the best. I hope they get help because I really think they could make a difference and live the full life they deserve.
Who would give drugs to a guy like this ? He's such a bright light . Smh. Buddy...You are worth more. This world needs you. May you have that moment of clarity and come back to the light. You're going to be the most amazing dad someday.I promise you're worth it. ❤🇨🇦
Josh, Your interview is so much different than others, Your so so hard on your self , I feel for you, your a beautiful soul, just stuck in addiction, It’s a choice BUT isn’t that simple its so complex , I wish you the best ❤️🙏 Fifi
I hope we see him again, well and all that. What a strong individual one part of him has a laugh at his storys yet one part suffers! I truly hope he will be fine!
I see so much good in him, this one hit me hard because I could relate to his struggles. Opiate addiction is no joke, it eats away at your soul. I hope you can get clean and find balance in you life ♥️
Oh Lord this man has me in absolute tears, I've definitely had my own horrific struggle with drugs and being around many people from all walks of life young and old and everyone in between I'll be coming up on 4yrs and all though it does get a little easier with time but is still very much a struggle everyday and I think I can speak for many when I say it really hits a little different watching a man cry than a woman 😥
This "it's not a choice" convo needs to be had if addiction is to be tackled. He is one of the few to admit that, at least to him, it is a choice. It does get harder....but at the end of it, it is still a choice
Probably a bunch of uneducated people liking this comment. It’s really easy for someone without an addiction problem to think this, because they have the option to just turn it down, but when you truly have a chemical imbalance and your abuse is untreated you absolutely have no choice your brain literally tells you it’s survival to use, if you get sober and are doing well and you choose to just throw your life away ( which no one does), unless that happens somehow, it’s a diagnosed disease and fits the definition of a disease, and has for a long long time.
@@jacksonberry5004 Lady, the guy in the video is an addict and just contradicted everything you just said. He is far from being the only addict who believes that. The justice system does not even recognize that as a mitigating factor when sentencing you. They don't have a different point system for crimes committed under the influence. Uneducated? You full of yourself.
@@jacksonberry5004 coming from someone with a VERY similar story to josh, I will tell you that it is a choice. its a very hard choice but a choice nontheless. I agree to give addicts the excuse its okay to relapse is what hemmed me up. telling myself that I can do it. bullcrap, the choice is hard but its still there.
@@jacksonberry5004 it is most definitely a choice(at first). One chooses to do drugs and then it becomes a “disease” making it hard to stop. People are allowed to have an opinion and shouldn’t be called uneducated for it. I have heard many addicts says it’s a choice while others want to play the blame game/excuses.
Drugs will ruin your life. You might think you won't get addicted but you will. It will take you to the deepest depths of hell and drop you off and leave you there. I was addicted to crack from the mid 90's to about 2008. Been clean since then. It was pure living hell. A nightmare. I was almost killed. A guy stabbed me 7 times to rob me for $10 rock. I robbed a store and went to prison. I lost every job I ever had. No fun.
@@erichodge567 Not too good. All the drugs and trauma of it made me half crazy in the head to be honest. Still can't keep a job for long and don't trust people. Spend most of my time alone. I took up guitar playing and do stuff around the house and play with the dog. I don't even even smoke pot but I feel paranoid most times. Got felonies on my record so all the work I can do now is farm work. Most of the time is spent in regret of my past. It's misery really. I've often thought that thats why you can NEVER do drugs becuase it does something to your brain and can't be undone. I was facing armed robbery and kidnapping charges. But they dropped the kinapping and reduced the armed robbery to just common law robbery. I could have gotten life in prison. I did 5 years. Been homeless off and one since adult life. I have lived at the same place for the past 9 years though. When I was on drugs I couldn't keep a place longer than a few months then I would get kicked out. Always in and out of jail. Always losing my drivers licence. So even living clean now life is still not good really. I can't go back and undo the things I did. It's like living in a nightmare everyday.
I found that to escape the drugs and alcohol who had got a good hold of me i had to turn my back on almost all my friends, partys, society, and live in a place with no temptations of any kind, its a pretty hard turn around, but it might be the first step on your journey to a better, and longer life
Hey homie, stop beatting yourself up! My counselor told me there's nothing good comes from it. You do have a disease because if you could have chose Jessica you would have!that's the part we don't control, I started methadone and a couple months after I shatred my heal. so I feel your pain! Keep you head up, it's time brother I can see it in your eye's. You can do it the joy in life will return I promise! Good luck, I'll be waiting to see your update video.
When we stop beating ourselves up we give ourselves a chance to improve our quality of life. We all need to learn the value of that lesson.👍👏 I hope you're being kind to yourself and things are going well.😊❤
@@marylougeorge9890 I know I told you before, buy I live in Arvada, Co. Idk if you have noticed in the news but there's Been alot of violence here . The mass shooter in a boulder grocerie store (who killed a cop) and a few day's ago a cop was ambushed near my home and near the home of the guy from boulder's. Colorado is a very unique places and unfortunately a ruff town! But this crap is getting absolutely ridiculous! The shooter that killed the cop here was killed by a by slander and then the other cop killed the bystander. Anyway mental health us becoming a national security situation! Sometimes I hate beings a parent! Lol. Anyway have a good one my freind!
@@sjc7773 I'm sorry it's so rough where you live. I live on the opposite side of the state from Detroit. They've called us little Detroit. We have a gang revenge killing with Chicago. I believe things are calming down. Having random public shootings like in your city would be really scarey. I live in the hood but I like it and it's not too bad in my area. Others don't agree but I don't care. I trust God's warring angels. Seriously. You're right. Mental health needs to be high priority. The world is a mess because of mental illness and it begins at the very top. Skid row people just don't hide it as well. You take care, my friend. Don't worry because it gets in the way of your gut feelings. Just be smart.👍❤
Man, sometimes some of the interviews are so damn good and you can feel the raw emotion in the person talking and this is one of them. Good luck in the future, Josh. You seem like someone who deserves better and I hope you find peace soon.
Mark, it's not "beyond your co.ntrol". It's just freaking hard! I was addicted to opiates for 20 years, but then I quit. It took extreme anger to make me quit, but it's possible. I was miserable for months and months, but I was so mad about something that happened in my life that the anger kept me going. No one could have talked me into quitting. It took an incident and my own decision to change things. So, my point is that it's not "beyond our control". Having some control actually is the key. Being MADE to do something is terrifying and often ends in failure.
You are SO very young. Start over (again) & get exactly what you want, & desire. You can do it. You can turn it around. (YES! God is with you every single day. Perhaps you can renew your relationship with Him to gain more of the positive things that come with His love, etc.) ✝️ 💜
As soon as he said Central Florida but not Daytona or Orlando I had a feeling he was gonna say DeBary or Deltona.. keep Your head up kid! I’m livin in DeBary and coming up on a year clean.. it’s a tough journey but it’s rad to not have to wake up sick and then scam my way through the day to get a fix!! You’ve got this my dude!! 👊🏻👊🏻
I felt it hard when he explained first shooting up.. I was dating a chick who would always tell me I was wasting the heroin because I smoked n would always micro manage it so that she would get more cuz she used needles. Until it got to the point where I said fuck it and gave in n I was surrounded by ppl more than willing to find my first vein. Honestly they were proud to be the ones to be the ones to put the first dart in my arm. I always resented that so I hated the thought of being around someone shooting for the first time so that was the only good moral I truly had using.. I’ll be clean 2 years July 17th n I haven’t looked back.. I wish the best for you brother. You seem genuine I hope you defeat this monster that has its fangs in so many people.
I honestly am so thankful that my strongest addictions are coffee and weed, which can be debilitating in their own right. He's so right about tolerance and succumbing to addiction, even if he doesn't think of it as a disease
I believe this guy will succeed. His trust in God, his conscience &his willingness to admit his doings not place blame . He's got the people skills , the likability &common sense to end this part of his life for good.I wish him the best for his future&God's blessings . You can do it Josh.
One of my favorite channels after first viewing Mark capture the heart and souls of Eastern Kentucky. I grew up in Pittsburgh in the 70's, no better place imo. Did some social work in Kentucky for 30 years and now live in Tucson advocating for vulnerable adults. Provocative and brutal look into the lives of addicted. His cycle of addiction and emotional scars are raw for sure. Thank you Mark for this privilege. Keep on keepin on
My heart is breaking. Seeing him tear up about the loss of someone he loved because he chose drugs over them just breaks me. And just seeing him cry about what he’s done and where he is and who he has hurt. It’s obvious he has a big and genuine heart. I hope he can find the strength to get better and do better. We all deserve to find our peace and happiness.
Damn addiction sucks, I know the battle all to well. Sick right now. Update July 29: I got in recovery 2 weeks ago. I've been clean 16 days. I'm in out patient program, Monday I start a good fishing job with plans on getting my diving license. Hopefully I stick with it, wish me luck.
I HIGHLY CONCUR Took a week off of work.. went thru the 3 TO 4 DAYS of withdrawl... took a suboxone ...got on a MAT PROGRAM with kaiser...and haven't looked back since Do I miss getting blitzed...sureeee... But all the shit active addiction takes from you.......especially fentanyl... IS NEVER ENDING. HOPEFULLY I NEVER GO BACK and yall reading this out there can do it too
Wow crazy how similar my story is to his. Definitely enjoy the honesty and it's never too late I got married at 35 hopefully we'll complete our IVF in two months! Get involved with celebrate recovery at a local church bro!
“Lack of power is our dilemma” if he admits it’s a disease, then that means he is powerless and has no control. Having no control is scary. We always want to control people places and things… just a thought
This interview touched me. I can't explain how deep his words touched me. He tells it like it is. No bullshitting around. I respect his honesty and truly feel for him. He has so much life left, I wish there was something I could do. I pray he finds the strength to overcome this. *If you ever find yourself in Texas.*
I really hope you find your way, Josh. You are still young, you have the rest of your life ahead of you. There’s still time for marriage and a family. Do all the inner, hard work, focus on healing, get on the right path and so many wonderful things will come your way. Cheers, from Country Victoria. Australia 🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺✌️✌️✌️
I'm really pulling for this guy....I can see how he was such a great bartender--likable, great stories, good personality..good luck to you, Josh. I am hoping for a good update at some point.
Something about grown, strong alpha men crying… I feel that. Things can change for the better if you want it. You gotta want it… Keep it… And hold on to it tightly.
Thanks Josh for being very honest with what drugs do to people. Tears when you shared when you had your phone stolen and didn’t contact your dad for three months. Everyone needs to hear this. A raw testimony of the demons that grasp one with addictions.
If this mans experience doesn’t convince you that the addiction he battles is an illness then you will never believe it. This man understands exactly what he’s going through and why, and he knows the price he’s paid and has the support and resources to get well…and yet here he is. Wishing him the peace and sobriety he deserves ❤️
Felt this one. Aside from the stripper and body building lifestyle he reminds me of someone I love. He doesn’t want this anymore. He got his shit together. It’s always going to be a struggle the the turnaround is possible. I believe in him. I believe in you.
Josh, I almost have 2 years clean. I know you can do this. It's not too late, I'm 31. Praying for you man, I know how it feels. I wanna see you happy & clean. You're a sweet guy.
Something about him really stands out for me. He is just so intelligent and articulate. I could listen to him talk for a long time. See him being really good at helping others with addiction if he's able to get ran, hopefully he's able to do so
Man this one hit home. I know the extreme ups and down man. I was killing it in the gym, looking good, happy. Had a baby and all that . Now I’m here struggling with my self again. It’s a uphill battle. All it takes is a fake friend and a slip up. Being sad is just as bad as being in a good mood.
Such a magnanimous, charismatic, spiritual, genuine person. He just has the genetics of addiction and those genetics found the right drug and the right route of administration. Would Psilocybin Therapy or Ibogaine help him? Heroin should be legal, and if he wants to get off heroin we should use the taxes from legal heroin to help him get the treatment.
I am an alcoholic, I have been asked this question for years. Trust me it is not an easy question to answer. It took me 3 years to answer this question and sober up.
@@Baccaratplayer1 Of course it’s not easy to answer, but as I said it’s the first question out of many. It’s a process, recovery from any addiction so good on you that you’ve been able to answer that question after 3 years. You should be proud of yourself!
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People in the comments are right. It’s not over for you. You can stop man. You’re not done livin’
Josh you are very self aware and make no excuses for your choices. Your soul is still in tact and you have a good head on your shoulders. Give yourself a break and get into a detox and treatment center. The first step is the hardest. Hang on to your hope and faith. It will carry you
Nah I reckon it’s basically over. If he’s using fent everyday and sleeping in a tent on skid row it’s unlikely he’ll rejoin society as a functioning individual again (not impossible just highly unlikely)
@@lukeryan1377
Maybe just projecting but circumstances need to be just right.
Amazing comment when he said “No one knew that this was going to be a problem, you just sniff if and you feel great.” That’s key. That’s key for young people around the world. Worth sharing to students.
He isn’t being honest. I am in my 50s and when I was a teen we were taught in school about drugs and their harmful effects.
*Around the usa.
In Europe we stick to the not life destroying drugs in school/college.
Biggest mistake of my life was crushing and snorting that first pill. I looked into my now ex’s eyes and said, “ don’t worry I won’t have a problem, l’m too strong for that.” 6 yrs later……
@@SisterSunshineTV you hear it but you don’t believe it. Don’t believe it could happen to you. Has to do with a addictive personality and a form of rebelling.
Opiates are so evil. Tolerance, many varieties of the substance, and everybody's body responding uniquely to a substance....this makes opiates tricky..
I had no idea what withdrawal was when I started. Nd getting started for me was getting a concussion in a high school brawl...My dad and I were never the type to go to the hospital or doc for common things....but he wanted to be safe that day and brought me to the ER. 16 yrs old being prescribed Vicodin for a concussion. I rmbr taking one later that night nd smoking a blunt with my boys and felt like I was in heaven.....I went from that strange feeling of being hit in the head nd going thru trauma. analyzing what went down being stresses and anxious....until that Vicodin kicked in that night, and it made me forget what even happened that day..i rmbr they were 1000's...and it was 2 a day for 15 days...so 30 pills I had....For no real medical reason..had I not got that script who knows what would be different.
In the end its my own choices that led me to opiates. But those gdamn doctors in the early 2000s and these pain killer companies were completely out of control
He still has his looks, and seems very smart and looks healthy. I hope he gets help and gets off drugs. Good luck Josh.
I noticed the same thing, he looks physically and mentally stable. His speech is clear and he has a clean appearance.
If you are using straight fentanyl.... As well as he seems, fentanyl is almost always a death sentence.
@Ryleigh Sevyn next you’ll call them ableist for pointing out he sounds smart and healthy.
@@eatass5627 sounds like you're projecting... Says the person who chose the username "Eat Ass"
@Ryleigh Sevyn Ghetto people? He is a handsome dude who doesn't look like a typical fentanyl user ... How dare you call someone ghetto 😤 More projecting your own insecurities SMH
Out of all the interviews I’ve watched on this channel, this one is probably my favorite. This is not where his story ends. After he gets clean, I can see him being a wonderful husband and father. I can see him helping so many others. God has so many plans for his life. Praying for you Josh!
WTF is God waiting for? Just stop.
@@patrickl6932 we all have lessons our souls need to learn in this life and a lot of times we learn it through painful situations. God is working Josh just needs to do his part. We all have “relationship” with Christ and it takes two. For example marriage is a reflection of a relationship with God. God isn’t waiting to fix Josh, he’s waiting on Josh.
@@Mrskaseymunzer Stop it with the Jesus stuff.. tell that to innocent kids God is letting die of cancer... You need to understand that this concept of Jesus only exists in your head....it's not real. There is no ACTUAL evidence it is real. STOP. If this imaginary friend helps you deal with the randomness and uncertainty in this universe then so be it, just stop condescendingly saying Jesus will "decide" to help maybe one day. Stop.
@@patrickl6932 I’m not even a theist but you’re a fucking joke of a human being dawg real talk. Who gives a fuck he was real, the point is the idea of Christ is enough. Christ as a figure and not taken literally is a figure we should all try and be, the ORIGINAL writings of Christ that while dating after his supposed death show he was the kind of man you appear not to be. Tolerant.
I agree, he has that “pay it forward “kind of vibe. I wish him well.
I hear him about wanting it to be all over. When I was in active addiction I'd be mad Everytime I woke up because I'd have to deal with this shit again. Id lay awake crying because of the guilt for all the fucked up shit I've done. All the disappointment. But I'm two years clean now and never looking back. He can do it. He seems to have the want to be clean.
Good job on 2 yrs! My re-birthday is August, I will have 4. I remember that feeling, like the only hope/relief was in the fact we might not wake up.
Prayers for Josh and all addicts.
Congratulations! I had the same thing going on in the morning's but I dont now, because I feel like I want to be sober more than not. And that's the morning it stopped! It took a horrible accident but it changed everything the dreams ect. I really think he's ready?
It’s was exhausting financially mentally emotionally physically spiritually. It felt like a dark tunnel with not a glimpse of light. The last day I used in 2005 as I was in my way to cop I remember crying out loud begging God to take me out I couldn’t do it anymore. Within 25 hours he took me out but not the way I wanted.. THANKFULLY
So proud of all of you! It is hard to do, but once you have it in your mind you want to quit, I found it comes pretty easily. For me at least.
I’m on 72 hours today off of fentanyl or blues ... Been through this shit more then a few times now I’m 32 still have a long life I hope that’s ahead of Me. Ive been taking gabapentin and clonidine for sleep it fkn helps but I’m having anxiety about getting off that shit... Hope to get through it and stick with it this time.
I sincerely hope he can get better. It's clear that he has a good heart.
As sad as it is, if you are using fentanyl there isn't much chance for recovery. This is a person in the early stages of addiction. It's probably only going to only get worse.
Your beautiful Tatyana
Something tells me this one will end up being a popular upload.
The mention of ADHD is pivotal, and lays the foundation for the themes of his story (extremes, risk-taking behavior, talkative, social, impulsive, inconsistency in life).
This one was particularly eye-opening for me, as I struggle with similar challenges due to ADHD, and many of times I’ve felt like pushing it too far, but never have.
I wish this guy the very best - he’s made his struggles a hundred times more challenging by starting on opiates. No judgment - but that’s the God’s honest truth.
I hope I will continue to stay strong as I learn to live as a young adult with ADHD. Regular adult life is starting to feel like a war zone as I approach 30 years old. I hope I can find a way to cope better so I can lead a happy, healthy, fulfilling life without turning the wrong way.
Nevertheless, thank you, Mark, for your tireless work.
You are doing an incredible amount not only for these folks you interview, but for us who watch and ultimately relate and learn.
All agree!
Hey there, i am 31 and i have adhd as well. i have always felt that i was behind on everything in my life, even now i am struggling to put my life in order, i try not to compare mine and other people's life but i am trying to keep up with the responsibilities that comes with age. But really as much as i am struggling, i try to remind me how far i have come, my personal growth, not in comparison to others. I am sure that there is something that you can be proud about yourself! Have faith in you and try to take one step at a time. Dont be afraid, and from my personal experience, discipline goes a long way. Discipline helps me because on my own i am not organized. You are fine! You have potential! Ask for help if necessary. Wish you all the best
I also find normality almost impossible with my adhd. Doesn’t go well with an obsession with existential meaninglessness either.
I know drugs aren’t a solution so I am mostly sober, but I don’t blame anyone who doesn’t have enough self control to stay miserable instead of escaping.
He is aware of his situation and assumes full responsibility for all his actions. This step seems to me the most difficult because it not only makes him aware of where the addiction is taking him but also of the pain of losing both what he have had and what he could have. I feel that he has the necessary strength to take God's hand out of that pit
100%
Maybe eventually he'll get clean, maybe not. It's a good sign but self awareness isn't enough. Hope he does well but honestly we have no idea how he's doing, addiction can be hidden very easily at times and he could be doing really well or really poorly in regards to it.
This guy is so real and raw, you can tell he hasn't lost his mind,..yet. I pray he gets clean .
You're not gonna lose your mind from opiates, that's meth. You will lose your moral code, a lot of your emotions, a lot of stuff however.
U dont lose your mind with fentanyl wtf. Thats crack or meth. Pain killer stuff don’t make u lose your mind like that
That’s the opiate letting him be so raw for sure. But I know what you mean, hopefully he gets sober!
Josh interview is the best I have seen. Authentic. I pray for the best for him.
What a great personable guy stuck with an awful addiction, when he spoke about choosing the drugs over Jessica it was really heartbreaking. I hope he gets better and can start enjoying living more and not wanting it too end
I just want to hug this guy. He's real. Those tears are real. I'm praying for and rooting for him
This guy from my neck of the woods and boy is he on point. Damn doctors would give you all that oxy not even hinting how addictive it is. I just shook that demon final about a year ago this month. Got my own apartment walking the straighten Narrow.
Good shit man. I’m from Washington state and I used to drive to Sacramento to see a dr and he would prescribe me any amount oxy I wanted. I did that once a month for about 2 years. Shit was so crooked
I was going to say the same thing & I’m from the next town over in Volusia County!!
Straight and arrow*
@@tylersrevenge lmfao its straight and narrow
@@tylersrevengeit’s “straight and narrow” or “straight AS AN arrow” Lmaoooo 🤣🤣🤣
Its DISGUSTING how the "Un-Civil" Servants treat the homeless. It could happen to anyone.
Have you ever worked with the homeless ? Depending on where you are there are so many programs to help people and some have mental illnesses and some want cheap drugs and no commitments . I pray you never know what I’m talking about
Yeah no one should take responsibility ever, just blame the civil servants🤦♂️
This guy described perfectly the epidemic from beginning to end of interview. Goodluck with ur future. Many of us have been there. 🙏
So true. And the ADHD start. It was like the documentary film called “Take Your Pills.” I do believe it played a role in his addiction.
Absolutely
Well ssid
Absolutely
In his addiction yes, but lets get down to the nitty gritty of how this opiate epidemic came about. September 11, 2001 fall of the world trade center, the government knew Bin Laden controlled 80% of the opium trade in Afghanistan, so they go in and start taking it. 2002 all those pill mills opened up ( it wasn't a coincidence they landed in florida) because the government knew which states had and didn't have the tracking system in place for prescription distribution. Fast forward a few years later, 7 people a day are overdosing on oxycodone so they call it an epidemic. They start shutting down all the doctors that were prescribing them, In turn creating a vacuum for the fentanyl. So now ask yourself did they do the right thing by getting everyone hooked, take it away to get you hooked on something a 100Xs more powerful? What's the ultimate outcome of all this? Now medicare foots the bill for methadone and suboxzone which may I add ALL these drugs are made from the same plant,amazing huh?
This dude looks like he could be a trainer at a Crunch fitness or rock climbing gym or something. I hope you get well, Josh.
Don't exaggerate
@@bonhamcarter4488 To clarify, I meant if he got clean and worked out a bit. Drugs haven't withered him (yet) like they do most people. Don't underestimate.
He’s clearly not Crunch material
I’d love to go Crunch Fitness. That sounds dope.
Hah! Totally
The look on his face after telling his experience about the first time he stuck a needle in his arm, so sad.
This man is so well spoken, intelligent and self aware. I hope you figure it out Josh. I'm rooting for you.
The reason I find myself returning to this channel is the diversity. So many different people struggling through life due to circumstance and bad decisions. But we've all been there right? Just some of us are able to get over it and move on. Catch ourselves before we're in too deep. I really appreciate all these folks sharing their story. It reminds me how similar, delicate, flawed and persistent we are as humans.
Josh seems like a genuine and solid dude. This guy deserves to catch a break.
I felt it when he said “you just wish it could all be over”.
Enough fentanyl like George Floyd and it can be. Just save a 2 gram rock and take it all at once and then resist arrest. Worked for George.
@UC1ZdHEJWBDOIstWDRGNblmg lol dude shut the fuck up. Nothing else to talk about?
@@fbidenflagguy common dude... Realy?
@@fbidenflagguy wtf are you on about?
@@fbidenflagguy not the place for your idiotic and laughable political views.
Very insightful interview, yet filled with the needed release for his sorrow we can feel and relate to over our tech devices. Wishing Josh the BEST for the future because he is a good human. Thank you and blessings to you as well, Mark!
Not your best friend. Misery loves company. To think the guy insisted you shoot it is abhorrent and he did you no favors.
Shit happens and that particular drug has an extremely strong reputation for being wasted if not iv'ed, probably the strongest such reputation of all drugs. Most importantly though you dont know their relationship, the friend was very likely in a deep addiction himself and wasnt seeing too clearly. Dont be so quick to judge. You're assuming the guy had negative or predatory intentions but he very well could've been a good friend with good intentions.
Yes that made me sad to hear that guy shot him up. Who bloody does that...like it's easier NOT to shoot someone up than to go out of your way to do someone.
@@angelamarymahoney not when your getting high. When your actively in the thick of addiction and your getting high everyday with your buddies. It makes alot more sense to shoot them up. You want them to feel as amazing as you do.. it's a sick way to think but addicts have sick brains. And anyone who shoots up had someone who first shot them up. It's a cycle.
@@h33-q8w - Exactly! Was about to comment this same thing. It is and addicts mentality to want there friends to feel as good as they do..
Its a lot more common than you realize unfortunately
Josh, you are the most aware addict I've seen. You are so intelligent and really know what it takes to get sober. I hope you do. God does love you and He will help you. I am praying for you!
I hope you find the happiness you are looking for. Everyone deserves that. Mark,. I hope we can do a follow up on Josh. His story is inspirational. Imagine what his sobriety can do to help others!!! 💙
I so agree! ❤️
ALMIGHTY AMEN 🙌🙏❤️
I feel your pain bro . Been there , done that . And no point tryna work out where it all went wrong (the Ritalin) that doesn’t matter now . You realised you can’t do a geographic move away from YOU. You can’t fuck it away with women , you also can’t train it away with steroids. What you can do is accept that your actually powerless over this disease and get to a recovery program and stay around until it works for you . I wish you all the best ,from over the pond , here in the uk 🇬🇧 and trust me it will be the best thing you’ve ever done in your life and maybe you might get a wife and kids after that . Maybe you won’t . But your life will be worth more than all the money in the world . Take it easy man
Well said
I appreciate that he begins the interview in an ego state, even displaying moments of errant narcissism (dropping his IG handle while talking about his former physique, looking into the camera and calling out the beautiful women he’s loved, etc.), then just finally makes contact with his deep pain/shame and gets quiet. He switched back into “head” mode after those tears, which is what *has* to be done to emotionally survive, but I hope he’s able to spend more time in “heart” mode while he’s in treatment-where it’s actually safe to do so. In my experience, it’s the only way out. Rooting for him.
Josh, thank you for sharing your story with us, I myself am a recovering heroin addict and I will have 7 years clean in September. I have experienced a LOT of the same loss, guilt and shame that comes along with this ride. I have been homeless, been left out there alone on the streets with nothing but a good hustle to keep me fed and keep my addiction fed and at bay, at least very temporarily. I was so glad to hear you say you believe that God has got you and that notion was what got me through the worst days of my life before I got clean. PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP and continue to tell yourself God does have you, I'm sure of it and that all the beauty you once reveled in before this nightmare will come back to you tenfold and that woman who finds you will be unbelievably lucky to have found you and your parents will be so relieved and ecstatic to have their beautiful son back, fixed, at least a little bit, lol and within reach of a huge hug that each of you have been dreaming about for a long time. I would love to be able to help you in some way so if you can respond to me I will be happy to let you know how I CAN HELP and I will do so, you have my word. Love and light - Karyn
Great interview. It truly shows the struggle of addiction how no one even thinks about getting addicted but somehow falls down that path and spend years trying to get out and basically not leading the life they are born to live. Please leave this life behind Josh. You are worth it!
My heart aches for you Josh. The self-awareness and insight to your problems with which you speak tells me you can get better and stay better. Good luck mate. All my best wishes from Melbourne, Australia xo
Josh doing drugs like you’ve done alters your thinking, so in essence it isn’t a choice whether you believe it’s a disease or not. You’re still a young man, articulate, handsome, sensitive & aware. You need to make your peace with the “ wrongs “ you’ve done & let that go. Get yourself better & live a wonderful life going forward!
If its not a choice? So you're inferring he has no control and no responsibility. I know u r trying to be kind but how does he ever get out taking that approach?
i really appreciate your work mark. i’m planning on studying psychology/behavioural science at university and these interviews are an amazing insight into the true nature of humans and how much our surroundings can impact our lives. i wish you all the best and hope that you can carry on making these videos. much love ❤️
Dam you can see his pain when he starts talking about his beginning with the needle.. 😣 he's right about marriage and having a child being the happiest time of your life
Not if you're married to a covert narcissist or psychopath
@@chilldudie242 facts. Stay vigilant
Seems to me, some people just make that the goal with that in mind, and disregard the fact things arent working and then suddenly theres a fentanyl addict.
The high and the low. The romanticized part and the bottom. Thank you Mark for your compassionate voice with this gentleman. He does need a gentle hand. Thank you sir for speaking your truth honestly. Your pain, your confusion, your responsibility is felt. You can have two people inside you....it's just hard to choose the healthier one. You are strong by being honest...there's no handle on it for sure. Take that and run....we find ourselves...I pray WE find ourselves truly ❤
ALMIGHTY AMEN 🙏❤️😊💪
Seems like a solid dude and reminds me of some of my old friends. Josh if you’re reading this , keep your head up and get back in the gym. You got this
That’s exactly how it started for me. From Ritalin at 16 to oxy to heroin in my 30s. 2 yrs sober 🥳. It only stops when you’re ready for it to stop. For me, it was like flicking a switch and using all the energy and time I would spend trying to and getting high toward recovery. The resources are plentiful if and when you want to make a change.
Wow! It was a long, drawn out process, for me. How did you do that? So glad you found recovery!
Congrats on being sober 🎉
That’s one straight dude. Kind of guy you could be friends with. A rarity on this channel.
So articulate, so aware, so real. I see something good in this person and I truly wish them the best. I hope they get help because I really think they could make a difference and live the full life they deserve.
Who would give drugs to a guy like this ? He's such a bright light .
Smh.
Buddy...You are worth more. This world needs you. May you have that moment of clarity and come back to the light.
You're going to be the most amazing dad someday.I promise you're worth it.
❤🇨🇦
You're an amazing person ❤
Josh, Your interview is so much different than others, Your so so hard on your self , I feel for you, your a beautiful soul, just stuck in addiction, It’s a choice BUT isn’t that simple its so complex , I wish you the best ❤️🙏 Fifi
I hope we see him again, well and all that. What a strong individual one part of him has a laugh at his storys yet one part suffers! I truly hope he will be fine!
Me too!
Strong is not the right word
That was sad. He seems like a good guy.
What a kind soul. I feel like he is capable of accomplishing anything, especially if he can forgive the past! We're all rooting for you brother🤗❤
I see so much good in him, this one hit me hard because I could relate to his struggles. Opiate addiction is no joke, it eats away at your soul. I hope you can get clean and find balance in you life ♥️
he looks like he could be a pastor of one of those modern day churches with bands and singing...witht the pony tail and good looks.
We are all broken, that's how the light gets in! - E. Hemingway
Great quote!
Oh Lord this man has me in absolute tears, I've definitely had my own horrific struggle with drugs and being around many people from all walks of life young and old and everyone in between I'll be coming up on 4yrs and all though it does get a little easier with time but is still very much a struggle everyday and I think I can speak for many when I say it really hits a little different watching a man cry than a woman 😥
I truly wish him the best. Recovery is so possible and so worth it. To anyone struggling, please don’t give up.
Hes so well spoken and handsome. Truly seems like an amazing person despite everything he’s probably done. I have high hopes for you Josh.
Thanks 😊
What a nice guy. I love that he loves his family. You can do it, man! Bless your heart ❤️
Dude is gorgeous!!
Edit: I’m crying as he’s crying 😩 sending prayers his way! I really hope he can get on the right track
This "it's not a choice" convo needs to be had if addiction is to be tackled. He is one of the few to admit that, at least to him, it is a choice. It does get harder....but at the end of it, it is still a choice
Probably a bunch of uneducated people liking this comment. It’s really easy for someone without an addiction problem to think this, because they have the option to just turn it down, but when you truly have a chemical imbalance and your abuse is untreated you absolutely have no choice your brain literally tells you it’s survival to use, if you get sober and are doing well and you choose to just throw your life away ( which no one does), unless that happens somehow, it’s a diagnosed disease and fits the definition of a disease, and has for a long long time.
@@jacksonberry5004 Lady, the guy in the video is an addict and just contradicted everything you just said. He is far from being the only addict who believes that. The justice system does not even recognize that as a mitigating factor when sentencing you. They don't have a different point system for crimes committed under the influence. Uneducated? You full of yourself.
@@jacksonberry5004 coming from someone with a VERY similar story to josh, I will tell you that it is a choice. its a very hard choice but a choice nontheless. I agree to give addicts the excuse its okay to relapse is what hemmed me up. telling myself that I can do it. bullcrap, the choice is hard but its still there.
@@jacksonberry5004 it is most definitely a choice(at first). One chooses to do drugs and then it becomes a “disease” making it hard to stop. People are allowed to have an opinion and shouldn’t be called uneducated for it. I have heard many addicts says it’s a choice while others want to play the blame game/excuses.
My heart goes out to Josh…I really hope he achieves everything he want to achieve, Thank you for sharing Josh, love from England x
Drugs will ruin your life. You might think you won't get addicted but you will. It will take you to the deepest depths of hell and drop you off and leave you there. I was addicted to crack from the mid 90's to about 2008. Been clean since then. It was pure living hell. A nightmare. I was almost killed. A guy stabbed me 7 times to rob me for $10 rock. I robbed a store and went to prison. I lost every job I ever had. No fun.
God Bless you and may your testimony help all those who come across it
@@Scxoop123 Amen.
How are you now?
Congratulations! Thanks for sharing your story. I am sure that it will help others who may be thinking about trying drugs.
@@erichodge567 Not too good. All the drugs and trauma of it made me half crazy in the head to be honest. Still can't keep a job for long and don't trust people. Spend most of my time alone. I took up guitar playing and do stuff around the house and play with the dog. I don't even even smoke pot but I feel paranoid most times. Got felonies on my record so all the work I can do now is farm work. Most of the time is spent in regret of my past. It's misery really. I've often thought that thats why you can NEVER do drugs becuase it does something to your brain and can't be undone. I was facing armed robbery and kidnapping charges. But they dropped the kinapping and reduced the armed robbery to just common law robbery. I could have gotten life in prison. I did 5 years. Been homeless off and one since adult life. I have lived at the same place for the past 9 years though. When I was on drugs I couldn't keep a place longer than a few months then I would get kicked out. Always in and out of jail. Always losing my drivers licence. So even living clean now life is still not good really. I can't go back and undo the things I did. It's like living in a nightmare everyday.
I really hope you get your life on track josh !! You sound like a genuine person that needs the world at your feet.🙏
I found that to escape the drugs and alcohol who had got a good hold of me i had to turn my back on almost all my friends, partys, society, and live in a place with no temptations of any kind, its a pretty hard turn around, but it might be the first step on your journey to a better, and longer life
I basically had to do the same I wasn't an addict but I had addict b.f's
Hey homie, stop beatting yourself up! My counselor told me there's nothing good comes from it. You do have a disease because if you could have chose Jessica you would have!that's the part we don't control, I started methadone and a couple months after I shatred my heal. so I feel your pain! Keep you head up, it's time brother I can see it in your eye's. You can do it the joy in life will return I promise! Good luck, I'll be waiting to see your update video.
When we stop beating ourselves up we give ourselves a chance to improve our quality of life.
We all need to learn the value of that lesson.👍👏
I hope you're being kind to yourself and things are going well.😊❤
@@marylougeorge9890 you too M lou!
@@marylougeorge9890 I know I told you before, buy I live in Arvada, Co. Idk if you have noticed in the news but there's Been alot of violence here . The mass shooter in a boulder grocerie store (who killed a cop) and a few day's ago a cop was ambushed near my home and near the home of the guy from boulder's. Colorado is a very unique places and unfortunately a ruff town! But this crap is getting absolutely ridiculous! The shooter that killed the cop here was killed by a by slander and then the other cop killed the bystander. Anyway mental health us becoming a national security situation! Sometimes I hate beings a parent! Lol. Anyway have a good one my freind!
@@sjc7773 I'm sorry it's so rough where you live. I live on the opposite side of the state from Detroit. They've called us little Detroit. We have a gang revenge killing with Chicago. I believe things are calming down. Having random public shootings like in your city would be really scarey. I live in the hood but I like it and it's not too bad in my area. Others don't agree but I don't care. I trust God's warring angels. Seriously.
You're right. Mental health needs to be high priority. The world is a mess because of mental illness and it begins at the very top. Skid row people just don't hide it as well.
You take care, my friend. Don't worry because it gets in the way of your gut feelings. Just be smart.👍❤
Facts
Man, sometimes some of the interviews are so damn good and you can feel the raw emotion in the person talking and this is one of them. Good luck in the future, Josh. You seem like someone who deserves better and I hope you find peace soon.
Mark, it's not "beyond your co.ntrol". It's just freaking hard! I was addicted to opiates for 20 years, but then I quit. It took extreme anger to make me quit, but it's possible. I was miserable for months and months, but I was so mad about something that happened in my life that the anger kept me going. No one could have talked me into quitting. It took an incident and my own decision to change things. So, my point is that it's not "beyond our control". Having some control actually is the key. Being MADE to do something is terrifying and often ends in failure.
I cringe whenever I hear him say stuff like that tbh.
This. I quit with the help of kratom and lyrica. How the hell would anybody quit if it was “out of their control”?
You are SO very young.
Start over (again) & get exactly what you want, & desire. You can do it. You can turn it around.
(YES! God is with you every single day. Perhaps you can renew your relationship with Him to gain more of the positive things that come with His love, etc.) ✝️ 💜
As soon as he said Central Florida but not Daytona or Orlando I had a feeling he was gonna say DeBary or Deltona.. keep
Your head up kid! I’m livin in DeBary and coming up on a year clean.. it’s a tough journey but it’s rad to not have to wake up sick and then scam my way through the day to get a fix!! You’ve got this my dude!! 👊🏻👊🏻
This interview was amazing!!! His story doesn't end here. He's going to go on to do amazing things God bless him 🙏
I felt it hard when he explained first shooting up.. I was dating a chick who would always tell me I was wasting the heroin because I smoked n would always micro manage it so that she would get more cuz she used needles. Until it got to the point where I said fuck it and gave in n I was surrounded by ppl more than willing to find my first vein. Honestly they were proud to be the ones to be the ones to put the first dart in my arm. I always resented that so I hated the thought of being around someone shooting for the first time so that was the only good moral I truly had using.. I’ll be clean 2 years July 17th n I haven’t looked back.. I wish the best for you brother. You seem genuine I hope you defeat this monster that has its fangs in so many people.
Good for you, and best of luck! I'm hoping to get to where you are soon..
@@jennifercochrane8218 you will don’t give up everyone’s gotta start on day one. Keep your head up. You got this. And I appreciate the kind words
@@Pax_Prentiss no problem! And thank you😊
I honestly am so thankful that my strongest addictions are coffee and weed, which can be debilitating in their own right. He's so right about tolerance and succumbing to addiction, even if he doesn't think of it as a disease
He is so intelligent. It is obvious he was raised well. Josh, get clean man! Prayers for you.
I believe this guy will succeed. His trust in God, his conscience &his willingness to admit his doings not place blame . He's got the people skills , the likability &common sense to end this part of his life for good.I wish him the best for his future&God's blessings . You can do it Josh.
I agree and wishing him the best
Yes, I hope he’s close to surrendering 🙏
One of my favorite channels after first viewing Mark capture the heart and souls of Eastern Kentucky. I grew up in Pittsburgh in the 70's, no better place imo. Did some social work in Kentucky for 30 years and now live in Tucson advocating for vulnerable adults. Provocative and brutal look into the lives of addicted. His cycle of addiction and emotional scars are raw for sure. Thank you Mark for this privilege. Keep on keepin on
He’s so handsome and articulate. Best of luck. 🖤
I agree.
My heart is breaking. Seeing him tear up about the loss of someone he loved because he chose drugs over them just breaks me. And just seeing him cry about what he’s done and where he is and who he has hurt. It’s obvious he has a big and genuine heart. I hope he can find the strength to get better and do better. We all deserve to find our peace and happiness.
Thanks for your story. I can relate to your story almost 100 percent. I wish you success brother.
Your sense of personal responsibility is refreshing and admirable. I’m pulling for you, dude.
Damn addiction sucks, I know the battle all to well. Sick right now.
Update July 29: I got in recovery 2 weeks ago. I've been clean 16 days. I'm in out patient program, Monday I start a good fishing job with plans on getting my diving license. Hopefully I stick with it, wish me luck.
Stay strong. You can get through the sickness. It will pass.
I HIGHLY CONCUR
Took a week off of work.. went thru the 3 TO 4 DAYS of withdrawl... took a suboxone ...got on a MAT PROGRAM with kaiser...and haven't looked back since
Do I miss getting blitzed...sureeee...
But all the shit active addiction takes from you.......especially fentanyl... IS NEVER ENDING.
HOPEFULLY I NEVER GO BACK
and yall reading this out there can do it too
Be strong 💪 ✨ ❤
Keep your head up!
Much love from another soldier in the battle skiib o
Wow crazy how similar my story is to his. Definitely enjoy the honesty and it's never too late I got married at 35 hopefully we'll complete our IVF in two months! Get involved with celebrate recovery at a local church bro!
“Lack of power is our dilemma” if he admits it’s a disease, then that means he is powerless and has no control. Having no control is scary. We always want to control people places and things… just a thought
🧐
Good luck to you, Josh. You seem like a nice, intelligent person. I hope you can get clean and have a much better life.
what a beautiful man !! best of luck on his physical and spiritual journey !! 🤞🏽
This interview touched me. I can't explain how deep his words touched me. He tells it like it is. No bullshitting around. I respect his honesty and truly feel for him. He has so much life left, I wish there was something I could do. I pray he finds the strength to overcome this. *If you ever find yourself in Texas.*
Thank you 😏
I hope he gets out this mess. He has a good heart & I hope to see an update video where we see him doing better!
You’re so close to claiming your life back Josh. Wishing you the love and clarity you need to get there.
I really hope you find your way, Josh. You are still young, you have the rest of your life ahead of you. There’s still time for marriage and a family. Do all the inner, hard work, focus on healing, get on the right path and so many wonderful things will come your way. Cheers, from Country Victoria. Australia 🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺✌️✌️✌️
Amazing interview! Josh you have so much to offer! I hope you find peace and your future I know is going to be amazing!!!!
You are on the path my friend. I wish the best for you.
God loves you Josh don’t give up I had the same problem back in 2014 due to back injury but God delivered me!!! I love you
People think crying is a sign of weakness... A strong man is not afraid to reveal his emotions
💯
„Don’t judge a book by it’s cover“ His story suprised me. Josh i wish you all the best there is in this world... greetings from little Austria 🇦🇹♥️
Pittsburgh… I knew he looked familiar. Hope he can get his act together.
@@thematriarchy2075 I know u ain't doxing that mans full name
I thought the same thing! Seen him around back in the day for sure.
I'm really pulling for this guy....I can see how he was such a great bartender--likable, great stories, good personality..good luck to you, Josh. I am hoping for a good update at some point.
Something about grown, strong alpha men crying… I feel that. Things can change for the better if you want it. You gotta want it… Keep it… And hold on to it tightly.
Genuine question: what made you describe this dude as a “strong alpha man“ ?? Like what about this made you think of the word alpha
@@jennyB07 🤦🏽♀️
@@jasminf1281 well enlighten me !
@@jennyB07 She wants his alpha D obviously. Maybe he's not your type haha
Thanks Josh for being very honest with what drugs do to people. Tears when you shared when you had your phone stolen and didn’t contact your dad for three months. Everyone needs to hear this. A raw testimony of the demons that grasp one with addictions.
Fanstastic interview.
Hope you find your way back to health and happiness.
If this mans experience doesn’t convince you that the addiction he battles is an illness then you will never believe it. This man understands exactly what he’s going through and why, and he knows the price he’s paid and has the support and resources to get well…and yet here he is. Wishing him the peace and sobriety he deserves ❤️
Felt this one. Aside from the stripper and body building lifestyle he reminds me of someone I love. He doesn’t want this anymore. He got his shit together. It’s always going to be a struggle the the turnaround is possible. I believe in him. I believe in you.
Oh what a struggle this poor man has been through with pain and now addiction. Keep fighting, you are worth it!
I want to hug him... Don't really know why exactly... But I really want to hug him.... Shit is real man
Yeah he seems really sweet 🌈🤍🥰🤗
Shit IS real... fr
I’d hug him too. He’s a good guy. Just needs support.
Josh, I almost have 2 years clean. I know you can do this. It's not too late, I'm 31. Praying for you man, I know how it feels. I wanna see you happy & clean. You're a sweet guy.
That’s how messed up opiates are that when he’s on roids he’s “doing well!”
Matt! Hope you are doing well my friend. I'm also a "Functional Addict" and I'd love to pick your brain. How can I contact you?
Dude! It’s you! Hope you’re doing alright man! Them opiates can be hell! Best of luck bro! Love watching your video.
Hi Matthew I hope you’re doing well! Love and light to you ❤️
@@davechristian7543 I’ve been addicted for 8 years
@@Scxoop123 matthewandrewdrake@gmail.com
Something about him really stands out for me. He is just so intelligent and articulate. I could listen to him talk for a long time. See him being really good at helping others with addiction if he's able to get ran, hopefully he's able to do so
Man this one hit home. I know the extreme ups and down man. I was killing it in the gym, looking good, happy. Had a baby and all that . Now I’m here struggling with my self again. It’s a uphill battle. All it takes is a fake friend and a slip up. Being sad is just as bad as being in a good mood.
So true !
This is the best interview. He is so honest and intelligent.
You can beat this dude! It's in you! We can see strength in you you're not feeling right now, but trust, it's there. 🌺
Such a magnanimous, charismatic, spiritual, genuine person. He just has the genetics of addiction and those genetics found the right drug and the right route of administration. Would Psilocybin Therapy or Ibogaine help him? Heroin should be legal, and if he wants to get off heroin we should use the taxes from legal heroin to help him get the treatment.
Josh seems like a good hearted person I really hope he can get clean and go back to his family ❤️❤️❤️
The first question to ask any addict is not why are you addicted… but WHY are you IN PAIN?! Gabor Maté
I am an alcoholic, I have been asked this question for years. Trust me it is not an easy question to answer. It took me 3 years to answer this question and sober up.
@@Baccaratplayer1 Of course it’s not easy to answer, but as I said it’s the first question out of many. It’s a process, recovery from any addiction so good on you that you’ve been able to answer that question after 3 years. You should be proud of yourself!
Modern society itself is traumatic to many people, that's one reason why plenty of addicts come from 'good homes'.
@@patrickdoyle6198 I can believe that, the same can probably be said for people who have been incarcerated for a long time
the answer is usually , cause I’m not high. Approaching trauma head on with addicts won’t get you far. lateral approach works best