A creative solution to social anxiety | Nick Shelton | TEDxCherryCreekHS

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 12 ก.ย. 2023
  • Nick shares insights from lessons learned from his challenges with social anxiety in his speaking career and dating. He found a simple solution by observing the behavior of people who wear uniforms to work. You’ll be surprised to find out just how easy controlling social anxiety can be with the right tools. Nick Shelton is a best-selling author of the book “An Introvert’s Guide To World Domination” as well as a social strategist and coach for introverted career professionals. He has been fine-tuning the craft of effective, high-level social strategy and networking for over twenty years. Coupled with extensive research and eighteen years of experience in the oil and gas industry, Nick has successfully built a strong, international network of friends, colleagues, and associates while traveling to over 42 countries. He believes the quality of your life comes down to the quality of your relationships. Currently, he teaches others how to easily navigate social events and situations with the goal of making real connections and building relationships that matter. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

ความคิดเห็น • 101

  • @xoxo_sushi
    @xoxo_sushi 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

    I struggle with social anxiety all the time, so I really appreciate this.

  • @Victory63219
    @Victory63219 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +50

    I have struggled with mental illness and my mental health since I was a kid. Before I even knew what those terms were. After years of depression, anxiety, and even an attempt to take my life, I never thought I would be able to live without SSRI medications. I clung to them because it was the only thing that made my mind quiet, but it also made me a zombie. Microdosing has given me control of my mental health for the first time, and they essentially gave me my life back.

    • @annemoore4461
      @annemoore4461 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I’ve been researching on psychedelics and it’s benefits to individuals dealing with Anxiety, Depression, ADHD and from my findings, they really work and I’ve been eager to get some for a while but its been difficult to get my hands on them.

    • @ohmakure4716
      @ohmakure4716 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      The Trips I've been having really helped me a lot. I’m now able to meditate and I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well

    • @ellaaysun6181
      @ellaaysun6181 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I was having this constant, unbearable anxiety due to work stress. Not until I came across a very intelligent mycologist. He saved my life honestly

    • @ellaaysun6181
      @ellaaysun6181 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      His name is *DR Adolf Petter*

    • @ryancihet555
      @ryancihet555 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @ohmakure4716
      I feel the same way too. I put too much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety levels. I am also glad to be a part of this community.

  • @zoeybertsch6044
    @zoeybertsch6044 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

    Nicholas Shelton. My friend, my mentor. You have not only helped me with public speaking, but also my kiddo with her social anxiety. You may never know how much impact you have on not only us, but so many others. The way you look at the world is not only admirable, but insightful and so, so helpful. I can wait to see all you accomplish in this life. You are my ‘superhero.’ Ugga Mugga, my friend.

    • @nicksheltoncomedy
      @nicksheltoncomedy 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thank you so much! I appreciate the sentiment. I'm honored to be of service. Ugga Mugga

  • @blanchebosdet
    @blanchebosdet 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Wow his struggle with anxiety hit close to home for me. It's amazing how a simple bracelet can make such a difference. Time to find my own 'armor' against anxiety.

  • @user-ky6yr4tu3w
    @user-ky6yr4tu3w 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Nick, I really enjoyed and resonated with your TedTalk. As a university student with social anxiety I’ve always wondered why I never experienced it when I worked my part time job selling tech. My “work” self and my everyday self seemed to be totally different when it came to interacting with people. Now it makes total sense; at my job it was my responsibility to ensure customers were doing okay. I was wearing a uniform, which both me and the customer acknowledged. But as a student, there is no real “duty” to interact with others, no uniform to justify my actions.
    But now I see I can still implement a uniform, just in a much smaller yet still meaningful way. Very excited to try your strategy. Thanks again

    • @nicksheltoncomedy
      @nicksheltoncomedy 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I'm so happy you got value out of it! Thanks so much!

  • @kalestanslink
    @kalestanslink 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Oh boy the description of his heart beating so loudly he thought everyone around him could hear it was so visceral. I've had that exact feeling and it's awful

  • @IAmASeaMonkey
    @IAmASeaMonkey 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    What a simple but effective way to overcome your anxiety when public speaking - bracelets. I love it. Thanks for this tip.

  • @simonoshlor
    @simonoshlor 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    What a wonderful and doable strategy to overcome social anxiety. I will be sharing this, thank you.

  • @iamarchiestewart
    @iamarchiestewart 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    The 'Uniform Effect' makes sense. It's like a tangible reminder of our chosen identity. Going to ponder on what symbol or accessory would best represent my goals and values.

  • @Fitz-Gerald
    @Fitz-Gerald 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I totally get the anxiety of public speaking. Your description of the lead-up to the speech hit home. It's crazy how nerves can sneak up on you

  • @ANSimpact
    @ANSimpact 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    This is amazing! I love the story and I can totally relate to it. The solution seems so simple and elegant which makes it brilliant! Thanks for sharing it!

    • @nicksheltoncomedy
      @nicksheltoncomedy 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      So glad you liked it. I find that simple solutions are often the best because people can put them to use right away

  • @thereallyreallybigpicture
    @thereallyreallybigpicture 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I love that he took steps to figure out how to make sure it never happened to him again. I know people who have panic attacks over the same stuff but do nothing to try and fix it or make it easier for themselves.

  • @TGall26
    @TGall26 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Nick Shelton, you are a true gem to this world and everyone in it that crosses your path. Great speech my friend. Continue to inspire and mentor all who need it buddy. Respect!

  • @ashleyeckert463
    @ashleyeckert463 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Nick, I owe so much to you. Thank you for all of your advice and for believing in me, especially during times I didn’t believe in myself. Your tips and tricks have helped countless times. Every time I put on my “uniform” I’m ready to take on the world. Thank you for all that you do!

    • @nicksheltoncomedy
      @nicksheltoncomedy 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thank you so much! I am happy to help when I can. I'm so glad you are getting value and use out of the tips!

  • @lestnewman
    @lestnewman 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    A personal uniform as a boundary for anxiety-simple yet profound. Going to experiment with this idea in my own life

  • @darioconsolata8691
    @darioconsolata8691 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Love this idea! I've been struggling with public speaking too. Time to find my speaking 'uniform' and conquer those nerves!

  • @gratitudeattitude1801
    @gratitudeattitude1801 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    In the beginning of this I thought more about emotional eating rather than social anxiety. When it comes to public speaking I can't do it unless I'm holding a microphone tightly and resting it on my chin. The sound comes out very clear and stops me from shaking. I avoid speaking if I can't use a hand held microphone. Thank you Nick, great steps here to move beyond my controlled type of fear.

  • @thephilosopher59
    @thephilosopher59 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Presence, its all about getting out of your mind and into your body and breathing. Quite amazing where the mind will take you if you let it. Thanks for the inspo.

  • @gatewayproduction9095
    @gatewayproduction9095 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Nick is a fearless trail blazer, constantly chasing new adventures, and always willing to get out of his comfort zone. I'm always inspired my brother, when I see you doing big things. 💯 great job

  • @therealbellasantarosa
    @therealbellasantarosa 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    LOVING this. Holistic and REAL. What a beautifully grounded guy! Thank you!!

  • @mycrazylifeismine
    @mycrazylifeismine 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Not sure about the whole uniform thing, but the anxiety story was relatable. Wonder if it's just a placebo effect.

  • @JValence
    @JValence 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    really felt the anxiety from that story about the speech! great job.

  • @bondji1
    @bondji1 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Fascinating! I never considered the power a uniform can have on our attitude, and on how we present ourselves. Starting with the idea of how a police officer acts and feels differently when their uniform is on, the idea of considering something we wear as a uniform was deeply relevant, especially as a way to help overcome social anxiety. Highly relevant and valuable, especially to those of us who have to speak in public, go on interviews, or otherwise present ourselves or our ideas to others. Terrific talk and brilliant topic!!!

    • @nicksheltoncomedy
      @nicksheltoncomedy 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thank you so much!I appreciate you!

  • @urm8698
    @urm8698 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I can totally relate to the experience of panic and anxiety around speaking in public. My heart was pounding right with his.

  • @theintentionalvet5131
    @theintentionalvet5131 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Your message is absolutely insightful, powerful, unique and life changing. You've challenged me to review the way I interact with and view myself in social settings. I've already reframed my entire way of self introspection by using my own form of a uniform. For me, it has been an athletic outfit. Wearing it in general puts me in the right frame of mind just to get out and workout. Thank you sir!

    • @nicksheltoncomedy
      @nicksheltoncomedy 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Glad to be of service! Thank you! I will continue to try to add more value to your life in the future

  • @rijd2304
    @rijd2304 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    What I've found helpful is mindfulness....learning to be mindful of the conversations I'm having, being intently focused on someone when they're speaking and not being distracted by technology. I use books like "30 Days to Reduce Anxiety" by Harper Daniels and "The Power of Now" by Tolle to remind me to detach from myself for a little bit and be more mindful of interactions in the present moment.

    • @nicksheltoncomedy
      @nicksheltoncomedy 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I agree that mindfulness is a really good tactic as well

  • @monicaparkin3148
    @monicaparkin3148 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Love this. I have shared this idea so many times since seeing your talk live. It’s a game changer. So glad to have a link to the real talk to share now. 😊

    • @nicksheltoncomedy
      @nicksheltoncomedy 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thank you Monica, I am honored to have shared the stage with you, and I look forward to future talks!

  • @user-hs8om8eq2h
    @user-hs8om8eq2h 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Great message. Simple and powerful. Well done!

  • @jaciakornwise
    @jaciakornwise 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    You dd such an amazing job! Im transfixed! your a natural and what a fantastic mesage! So glad to have had this opportuity to see this talk live too! you are amazing! i look forward to sharing this tak down the line as well!!! nailed it

    • @theintentionalvet5131
      @theintentionalvet5131 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I wish I could have seen him speak live! He is an amazing speaker and man.

    • @nicksheltoncomedy
      @nicksheltoncomedy 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thank you Jacia! I appreciate you and so glad you enjoyed the talk!

  • @jasonshelton9173
    @jasonshelton9173 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Great talk! I've incorporated a "uniform" into my professional life and can attest that it works wonders. Thank you for this simple but extremely powerful idea.

    • @nicksheltoncomedy
      @nicksheltoncomedy 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Excellent! Glad you got value out of it!

  • @jamestrapp8761
    @jamestrapp8761 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Magnificent presentation! I love the very practical tool I, or anyone for that matter, can use to those times when anxiety pops up. Thanks so much for sharing your knowledge.

    • @theintentionalvet5131
      @theintentionalvet5131 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      It is such an easy concept and simple to implement! What a Wonderful message!

    • @nicksheltoncomedy
      @nicksheltoncomedy 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Always delighted to share when I have something that I know can make a difference. Thank you so much!

  • @samuelygeissler
    @samuelygeissler 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Absolutely loved the clam story even though I'm not a clam fan. All you can eat always sounds like a challenge but my stomach only holds so much!!

  • @user-om3dt5sy6r
    @user-om3dt5sy6r 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Wonderful job. Great way to use personal experiences for inspiration.

  • @germangamer2976
    @germangamer2976 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    great idea. Im going to try this

  • @thetruemindfulmeditator
    @thetruemindfulmeditator 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I get this, I totally get this. Great talk...

  • @billiejeanbrasier
    @billiejeanbrasier 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Haha, the clam challenge story got me! But seriously, uniforms can be powerful. Wonder if a chef's apron counts as a uniform.

  • @brianma4928
    @brianma4928 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Nice Nick! Super insightful

  • @heyskid
    @heyskid 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    This is phenomenal. Great job man!!

  • @byos
    @byos 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Congratulations Nick! Phenomenal work brother ❤

  • @adagunesesq
    @adagunesesq 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    the clam challenge sounds insane! I can't imagine trying to beat the house with all those clams lol what a wild experience

  • @jimcarbaugh1452
    @jimcarbaugh1452 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Every day advise, great talk

  • @shanetownsend5245
    @shanetownsend5245 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Beautiful speech! I now wear a uniform for those things I need help with overcoming in life.

    • @theintentionalvet5131
      @theintentionalvet5131 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Right it's so good to have this as a mindset!

    • @nicksheltoncomedy
      @nicksheltoncomedy 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Glad to hear you got some value out of the talk. You're the best!

    • @freedomplace5239
      @freedomplace5239 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      The uniform is so key, in whatever way it suits the individual. I stepped out of corporate life and speaking in public. Currently crafting my new uniform!

  • @PhilYanov
    @PhilYanov 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Nicely done. Good job.

  • @siliconesal
    @siliconesal หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Shyness is crippling - it’s being able to speak in public but not being able to have a coffee in a cafe if you can’t raise it to your mouth because your neck is bobbing - it gets better x

  • @windlizard30
    @windlizard30 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Very good, Nick!

  • @Gabby20142
    @Gabby20142 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Thank you for inspiring me-you nailed it, baby! ❤

    • @theintentionalvet5131
      @theintentionalvet5131 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      He is so smooth and inspiring! I love using his message and passing it on!

    • @nicksheltoncomedy
      @nicksheltoncomedy 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      An honor and a pleasure

  • @realnicholasgomez
    @realnicholasgomez 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Fantastic message!

  • @hudsonhhack
    @hudsonhhack 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Love the idea of using a bracelet as my "uniform". Simple, easy and no one knows :D

  • @TherapyNotTherapy
    @TherapyNotTherapy 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Amazing! 🎉

    • @nicksheltoncomedy
      @nicksheltoncomedy 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I'm honored to share what I think can help a lot of people. Thank you!

  • @justinerather
    @justinerather 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Uniforms have the power to transform even on those days when we're not feeling it.

  • @58vette
    @58vette 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    As a chef I wear a clean uniform every day and as I change into it before service starts I mentally "put on" all the skills I need.

  • @faisalshaob
    @faisalshaob 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Bracelets for public speaking? Why not! If it worked for this guy, maybe I'll wear a clown nose to my next presentation. Kidding, but seriously, interesting talk!

  • @thejohntitor
    @thejohntitor 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Great video but I think your stereo channels are out of phase, I'm listening on headphones and the audio sounds like it's coming from inside my head

  • @nickp3949
    @nickp3949 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I have the biggest fear that the more I act like myself, the less attractive I’ll become. And as far as I can’t tell, it’s true. When I have my guard up, women show interest, but when I relax and I’m being myself, they stop caring. So anytime I meet new women, my social anxiety goes through the roof because my brain is like “she can’t see how you really are or she’ll lose attraction”. I started a new job recently, the women were talking about me and giggling a lot and treating me like a king, but once I got more comfortable at the job and relaxed, their attitude towards me has completely changed. I don’t get it.

    • @nicksheltoncomedy
      @nicksheltoncomedy 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I can certainly relate to that

  • @drmikeVT
    @drmikeVT 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Mr. Shelton has been devoting over 20 years to fine-tune the craft of effective, high-level social strategy and networking. As a bestselling author, speaker, and coach for career professionals, Nick delivered a one-of-a-kind TEDx talk, sharing a creative solution to social anxiety. He is professional, genuine, organized, caring, and determined to have everyone wear their suit...love it!