Why Video Games Are So Hard To Put Down (And How To Learn To Moderate)
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 14 ม.ค. 2023
- I want to talk to you all today about how to stop playing video games (if you want to). In this video, I'll take you through first why video games are so hard to put down and then ways you can learn to moderate that behavior.
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Video games can be incredibly captivating, making it difficult for many individuals to limit their playtime. I'll delve into the psychology behind the addictive nature of gaming and shed light on the reasons why it's tough to resist the allure of video games.
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00:37 - Recognizing a problem
01:20 - Misconceptions that hold us back
02:17 - A breakthrough
03:38 - Behavioral reinforcement
04:48 - Self-control feels like punishment
08:26 - Rethinking the cycle
08:43 - Catching your creative impulse
10:18 - Reflect, rekindle
12:16 - Celebrate the wins
13:42 - Why we are cynical of practice
15:28 - Why gratitude matters
17:32 - Recap
18:45 - Takeaway
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#healthygamergg #mentalhealth #videogames
This is exactly the video I needed right now. I got a job a few months ago selling cars. It’s kinda fun but the hours are very long. When I get home, I game for hours on end and it eats up the little free time I have. The games are just awesome. I stay up all night and go to work exhausted. Thanks for trying to help me break the spell doc
Becoming a step dad and having a stable family life has given me in-home reasons to "be present". Think about putting some life in your home-- pets or plants or friends. Find those people and experiences that you enjoy in addition to gaming, and take advantage of gaming when you can
What I mean by that is you will always be a gamer and always able to enjoy it. Sometimes in life, you want to diversify your "build" so just add skills to your moveset. Make room for new aspects of your identity and your relationship with games will change! Remember how you used to feel about a small piece of candy as a kid and apply that same kind of understanding to your experience of "gaming"
We all have that fantasy of becoming adults and "eating ice cream all day", and I hope you can put some more food on your plate!
Praying for you!
i mean, a great start is to recognize that at least you work! not to use the pity card but there are people like me who cant even manage to do the work they're supposed to do (even though i think its because of another reason). so go on, you're doing good buddy
Keep chipping at it
@@moss.notpanic not wanting to patronize or sound condescendent, but I'm in similar situation (same indeed). I'm trying to find a job that fits me better and earns enough money, and learning what I think could make me get a job like that. I'll even try jobs completely different to my area. If someone contracta me maybe I'd be happy just being a clerk and forgetting deadlines and maquiavelic coworkers.
00:37 - Recognizing a problem
01:20 - Misconceptions that hold us back
02:17 - A breakthrough
03:38 - Behavioral reinforcement
04:48 - Self-control feels like punishment
08:26 - Rethinking the cycle
1. 08:43 - Catching your creative impulse
2. A. 10:18 - Reflect, rekindle
2. B. 12:16 - Celebrate the wins
3. A. 13:42 - Why we are cynical of practice
3. B. 15:28 Why gratitude matters
17:32 - Recap
18:45 - Takeaway
Thanks I needed this comment
Thank you! @Bumpy-Man
thanks buddy
Thanks
thank you!
1) Try to jump on the tiny moments when your brain is interested in other stuff. Carry around a notebook, sketchbook, or have an instrument at the ready or do a few pushups
2) Reflect on what you just did (and reflect later on, like the next day too). What did I like about it? Is this what I want to be doing? Is this progress?
3) Practice gratitude. Congratulate yourself on doing what you want to be doing. Try to build up as many good thoughts about what you are doing as you can.
Also reward yourself eventually, even for the baby steps :)
Thank you
legitimate question: what about when we have moments of inspiration at the wrong time? My current biggest issue is I work fulltime in an office. I cant do pushups in the middle of the office. I can't pull out a sketchbook. I cant grab an instrument and play at random. So all of my inspiration time is jammed into the evenings after work. Often my biggest moments of inspiration come during work hours and have completely fizzled out after work :/
@@welladjustedcollegekid8774 I'm not Dr. K, but I think that having a small notebook to write down ideas or small pictures would be a great way to preserve ideas at work. It would only take a few seconds and it's easy to hide away and bring home at the end of the day.
You can then review and appreciate just the ideas that you come up with to encourage your brain to do more.
Being inspired is rare for me, but I do have thoughts on doing something more productive, guess I can reflect more on those thoughts.
I love video games and have no intention of quitting. I just make sure to take care of my responsibilities before I can relax at the end of the day and play a game. There was a time when I would play all day and not get anything done. Nowadays, if I even try to play something earlier in the day it feels wrong. Like I'm a loser for not accomplishing more before rewarding myself with a game. I miss the long sessions but I also like having a clean home and stuff.
Same here. The best feeling is playing games after having done all the things you had to get done for the day (or at least getting most of them done haha)
Worst feeling is doing all I had to do, then not feeling like playing any more due to lack of energy and excitement.
@@Ansive consider playing more relaxing and story based games as opposed to ones that use energy
My problem was that really addicting video games often turned me into a zombie. Even though I was doing something else, in the back of my head, I was still thinking about strategies for when I would play again.
Games like halo and such never affected me. That's like a board game. You're engaged when you play it and almost immediately disengaged when you stop playing. The danger is online MMO's. Tribal wars in particular nearly broke me, not only is it an online game, but it goes on 24/7 and your villages can get captured any moment during the day.
Does it help being a zombie during a university lecture? Absolutely not! You need to actively engage with the subject at hand, actively think about it, even process it in your sleep. That doesn't happen if your mind is constantly going back to that game. The only solution to that was a hard stop. I gave all my villages away to members from my tribe and quit. That's the only way to get out in that situation.
Generally I find it really hard to concentrate on one thing. I also made certain automation tools on my job to eliminate boring and tedious work using python. I actually worked on it in my free time, thought about it in my bed, etc. Still may not be completely healthy because their are other things in life too, but at least the addiction is centered on something positive now.
@@dekippiesip I'm the same way, man! I play a lot of MMO, and me and my ADHD brain are always thinking about the next time we'll be able to play. Even though sometimes in the moment I realize I should be paying attention, sometimes I'll just subconciously revert back to those thoughts, if I find what I'm doing particularly uninteresting. It makes me feel like I half-ass everything, since I struggle to get 100% into it.
One of the most beneficial things for me was creating a journal called “15 min of being less shitty.” For a period of time I couldn’t imagine being a good person or doing the right thing all the time, but I could be 15 min less shitty everyday. Even on days I only spent 2 minutes being less shitty, it added up. I no longer use that journal, unless feeling a little more lost again, but the habit was formed and tallying at end of year showed hours and hours of time I spent improving rather than atrophying
Out of curiosity, when you say being less shitty, what did that mean for you?
meanwhile I have the opposite thing, I try to do one thing every day that is just absolutely unabashedly indulgent, because otherwise, I just work myself to the bone with no breaks
@@rosiepone people with that type of problem are rare to see online tbh. I actually have trouble fathoming it the other way around but everyone is different I guess. I hope you don't work yourself too hard and are having a good New Years
I didn't know if game addiction was the root of my problems, until I realized that if I stopped gaming, I would just waist time on something else to avoid my priorities that don't give me as much fulfillment. So the advice for practicing gratitude on more productive things is super helpful.
100% I experienced that myself several times. I had a rule where I wouldn't play games during the day but just like you I wound up still avoiding. distraction and avoidance issues are heavily linked to addiction imo
After years of dealing with ADHD I've learned to appreciate my baby steps because they are literally the only way out certain habits, we don't have the luxury of a big decision out of our lifestyle or habits that finally drastically changes our life, that's actually the delusion that makes the condition worst (especially for the undiagnosed)
simply understanding the mechanics of this helps tremendously. you dont have a choice other then to make baby steps and its important to understand that will never change. there will never be a day where you are suddenly fixed and are able to do the right thing. the only possible solution to fixing yourself is to stop getting caught up in the length and difficulty of the journey and just start walking. it will get easier over time.
Although not officially diagnosed, so much of ADHD resonates with me, including doing minor things to start new habits. I always wanted to be the "go hard or go home" type - but that just leads to pure paralysis.
Baby steps with ADHD is going to be hit or miss. Sometimes it's best to just go with it when you're in the mood, as long as it doesn't cause you to skip anything too important. With babysteps, it can be easy to lose interest midway through and basically just waste the time and effort for no ultimate gain.
@@possibleproblem479 Yep, on point
@@SmallSpoonBrigade I don't mean a burst of productivity, I mean getting new habits, which is still very difficult to accomplish both with meds and with strategies, it's a long process and not always works even with baby steps + reward + cheering + meds + scheduling strategies
This reminds me of an ADHD tiktok (I wish I could find it and remember her name) where they described using something they called 'lightning in a bottle', where they would watch the videos that gave them the itch to do something to help them 'do' the thing, like watching makeup videos prior to putting on make up, or tidy videos before tidying. Kind of like priming your brain. She said to take specific notice of the videos and stuff you watch that makes you go 'I want to do that!' and keep it on hand for when it would help kickstart you.
Found her! The user is dustychipura, it was posted on 2021-1-14 and pops up if you search ‘lightning in a bottle adhd’
I get it, and if it helps that’s great, but that is no way to live if you need encouragement every single time to do something you don’t want to do. How’s about just stop being lazy and just do or just give up completely
@@steelearmstrong9616 What ignorant response.
@@al3dz739 Your right. I had a moment and do know better. If it was that easy then all issues would be fixed
@@steelearmstrong9616 Its only for the kickstart. After that you if you practice the gratitiude and reflection then it should take care of itself
I'm just gonna keep watching this video everyday until it gets through my thick skull and I start taking action. Thanks for making this.
friendly reminder to do something to better yourself today :)
2nd reminder for you to watch this
Hey, you're doing good. Keep it up
Hope you’ve been doing well bro
@@iimoist_milk4081I'm doing ok. I've been going through Tony Robbins' Personal Power and it is very insightful.
Any advice for achieving a middle ground between not having a desire and being addicted? gaming isnt something I want to give up or lose passion in, but also they are holding me back from my responsibilities at the level im doing
I wanted to comment the same thing. Hope we get a video about that
Same
Just like alcohol, I think some people just can't handle it in moderation. It's all or nothing. All that can be done I think is to try to find other hobbies and interests that you enjoy so that you are too distracted to think about gaming. That's the best answer I have so far since I still struggle with this.
i really hope i am wrong, but if videogames are designed to be addictive then i don't see how a balance can be achieved at all. there are many videogames that arent designed to be addictive though, but even those I struggle to moderate. again, i hope i am wrong and dr.k releases a video addressing ur concern, but i truly believe there's no way to moderate this naturally addictive activity.
I think there is an oversight in your question. Your current (addicted) self wants to keep playing video games. Trying to cling to them by forcing a rationalisation that somehow you can just do it in moderation. If you manage to become a person that doesn't want to play games, then this in not an issue anymore. Like an alcoholic asking for a solution of "only drinking a little". Well, some people can handle that, others don't. Become the person, who doesn't want to play first, THEN, if it still seems nostalgic or important to you, you can give 'playing a little' a try. Just be mindful of what you are doing then.
3-4 years ago, I could mindlessly grind video games for an entire day EVERY day. I really didn't have any concept of emotional processing back then. I'd play endlessly as long as I could escape my problems... But I've realized today that, since I'm continuously learning the mechanics of life and putting more of my time into stopping negative habits that I've been doing for several years. I really can't get myself to grind anymore...I honestly think that there's a huge difference between playing video games for fun, and playing video games to escape life's problems. Learning how to deal with anxiety, depression, burnout, etc... and how to efficiently communicate with people is more satisfying and fulfilling than getting the highest rank in a video game, in my opinion.
Edit:
1% progress is still better than 0% progress, stop turning your small W's into L's. Comparing is really addictive, and it's weird since we don't usually choose if we want to compare or not. We just compare at first glance. But I honestly believe it doesn't have to stay that way, since I've learned to accept that life is full of RNGs. And once I started playing the cards that I was dealt with, life has become easier to endure and I started to actually living my life more.
(btw is it just me or the video's audio has a bit of a muffled effect?)
Thanks for the advice especially the 1% > 0% progress part, I kinda needed that 🙏
The audio does sound muffled
Many do the same just watching tv, movies, series, ... I've also done that but more sleeping than playing. It's necessary to stop, confront your life and think how to act, which possibilities; with help.
" there's a huge difference between playing video games for fun, and playing video games to escape life's problems."
So well said, compeltely agree. I even wrote almost the same comment.
Kkkk
This is great advice, thank you doc.
Personally I’ve quit games before and I’ve decided to go back to them. I got my excercise/meditation/study habits in place, went back to school and got my degree while working full time, I get dates with women I like, so I can confidently say that videogames no longer hold me back. At the same time, I really enjoy videogames a lot. I’m talking about single player games with awesome stories, epic fights and banging music. I don’t want to give those up. I believe I can be mindful enough to notice if I’m getting addicted (for instance, games are not as fun when you’re addicted) and the good feelings I get from videogames can live alongside the good feelings I get from real life, just like other people get good feelings from tv shows, movies, sports (things I don’t really care about).
Since I enjoy single player games only, there’s usually a natural stopping point when the story ends that allows me to put it down and stop. Also I decided to remove my gaming PC (I tried moderating its use but I really struggle) and just play on my switch, physical games only: I have to actually go out and get games from stores and sometimes I can’t get the ones I want, sometimes I get a used game deal, so on and so forth. I noticed that’s a part of the hobby I enjoy a lot and I’d been missing ever since I’d gone full digital. I think this is a nice compromise.
EDIT: one more important component to this is, I think, that I’ve been lucky enough to find a very strong purpose in life. I think when you have a strong purpose, and you feel like you’re working towards something meaningful, the things that feel good but don’t help along that path become less addicting and less capable of controlling your behavior. As the doc says, positive reinforcement (I’m not gaming less to punish myself, I’m gaming less so I can do something else that is very meaningful) is very very powerful.
Im a college student, gaming has backed me a lot in comparison to my classmates grades, making me the less likely option to finally graduate, what im finally finding out its that you dont really need to "get rid of gaming" as if there's only two options such as like "all or nothing" , take an example of drinking alcohol, you can drink from time to time when u go to a party (might say 1 per 4 months, not an excessive amount), so you drink alcohol, but cant be considered addicted to it, its just something that u do eventually.
Going back to the point, same can also happen to gaming as DrK says about rewading system and etc, dont get truly rid of gaming, but use it as a reward for your hard work, resist the urge to play the entire time and use gaming as a reward after you have done something that u can say "This made my day productive" and releasing all the urges at those final hours after studying, working, etc. Using gaming as an intended way of being somewhat entertaining/time killer at your free time, instead of something to avoid things that can finally get u in a bad position if it keeps going, but never forget that gaming its not all you can do, there's always something that will capt your attention from time to time such as writing, dancing, singing, exercise, etc. Maintain it under your control, control the hours that u dedicate to things, never focus always too much in only one and try doing various things per day, make your life a constant enjoyment
this is so extremely helpful. thank you very much :)
Well summarized.
Videogaming after finishing all the chores and work is actually more fun. If you play to avoid there's always this "there are things I should do now"-thought going, using your ram and processor, bringing you into a stress mode.
If you play after finishing all things you can actually relax
Thank you. Needed this today. I’m coming down from a prolonged gaming spree, and listening to you have given me enough of a nudge to try something different. I normally don’t comment, but I’m catching the creative impulse to, and also practicing expressing some gratitude in the process.
Thank you so much for this informative video! This is exactly the struggle I've had all these years of my decade long struggle with video game addiction - and even now, recreational gaming. There's always a push-pull or love-hate relationship and like you said a "war" going on in my head. One day I win, the next day I lose the battle...
It all makes sense now. My brain is punishing me for "making progress in life" ... Just hearing that sent shivers down my spine. This sense of negativity towards myself and towards real life progress.... This is a wake-up call and a reminder to be grateful and compassionate towards myself and my small victories.
I'll watch this again. I know that's forsure! Thank you, Dr. K!
I'm grateful for all your videos Dr. K!
I've been doing something else that has been helping in this situation. It is similar to the advice you gave Natalie Wynn. I have that self-critical inner voice you mentioned and I have been trying to practice self-compassion. The way I do this is a bit strange but it works for me - essentially I write down a conversation between myself and a big sister who is compassionate and accepting and that helps me reflect on the situation and also chases some of the negative thoughts away. It still took years of therapy to know how to combat those thoughts, but that is just my personal story, that I wanted to share.
This makes sense. You are accessing the archetype of a higher good that loves you unconditionally
It's genius, you're creating a loving figures that gives you the encouragement that otherwise you wouldn't find elsewhere. 👍
You are one of the greatest professionals in the area that I could find (and I believe in the world overall). Ty for all your help
I just finished reading Kristin Neff's book on self-compassion, and, oh man, it fits perfectly with the message of the video. Great video as always Dr.K
I played games from the age of 14 to about the age of 30 for maybe an average of 8 hours per day. I did the bare minimum is classwork, etc... and in life in general, just C average so that I could maintain my gaming. One day all of a sudden I just got bored of the game I was playing and oddly enough have had little to no desire to play games since then. I got a job at an accounting firm and I've worked myself up to a supervisor / managerial position within the year. Been great. The only thing I haven't been able to change is my inability to make myself exercise.
Did you replace it with anything like TH-cam?
Can I take a guess that the game you lost interest for was the cause of ragequitting?
@@antoine594 no. Not rage. I just found the idea kind of reprehensible. Kind of Iike thinking of eating food when you're full.
Literally one of the coolest stories I've heard. You're a huge champ, W.
Try talking walks in nature. I love it.
I'm grateful you continue to reinforce positive decisions in our lives. Fighting the desire for video games really does feel like a losing battle sometimes. I appreciate what you do so much Dr. K
Literally what I need right now!
I’m studying for a license exam while feeling bad because “I should had started sooner” and that make me more anxious instead of being reward for actually trying.
Incredible how these videos always seem to come out at the perfect time. My issue has felt like it's been somewhere down the middle. Yes, I've struggled with playing too many hours some days but I never neglected my responsibilities or lost relationships because of it. My issue is I've played so much that now they don't really produce any rewards to begin with. Most of the luster in this hobby is gone and I feel burnt out. A big reason I kept continuing playing is because of the availability.
Oftentimes there just isn't much else to do when you're at home and done with work, chores, etc. You can read or learn a new skill of course but for some reason you just end up back to playing games. They may not be exciting 24/7 but you know what you're getting and it's consistent.
It is a blessing and a curse to have been raised in the mid to late 90s where technology wouldn't stop evolving. Thank god I signed up for the gym now because I've been away for far too long. Time for a much healthier distraction.
they really do, from dr k
I started logging my exercise and piano practice so I can see my progress and remember what I want to work on next. It's rewarding to see the progress, especially when I feel discouraged or impatient.
getting this in my recommended is a bit of a throwback, i found these videos really helpful. i dont even remember why i was depressed anymore, its convenient that having a job doesnt really give me time to be anxious, let alone play games
Doesn't that sound like you've suppressed what was bothering you?
i think thats kinda the point. i was letting thoughts fester and curdle because of my inaction, and now im not letting myself hesitate. ive got other mental problems to handle anyways, like managing my ASD in a practical work environment
I was not addicted to video games so I would only be able to tolerate playing for 10 minutes on my switch. I would start a game than not complete it and it became a bad habit to not finish what I started. I decided in 2020 to finish one game and I learned a valuable lesson. I learned of aggregation of marginal gains from gaming. Put in 1% of something everyday and eventually I will be a master at that subject. Now I have applied that to reading books and weight training. Some say games are a waste of time, but it taught me a valuable lesson. It helped, however, that I was not addicted to gaming.
I noted myself, that being grateful made my emotions much different to different tasks and events in my life.
Even the broken dish, instead of being sad that I broke it, I am happy that nobody got hurt or that nobody got seriously injured.
Thanks for the video!
you changed my life, thank you dr.k
I've long understood behavioural addictions as habits that have been greatly reinforced over time, and that to shift away you need to foster new long term habits but the practice of how to do this has just as long eluded me. I think this guidance is exactly what was missing in my understanding. Thank you.
Great video! Really opened my mind about stuff going on in my life at the moment. In my case, one of the things I struggled with the most was my perceived thin boundary between self-gratitude and complacency.
I wish thier way a way for you to know how much good you are doing in sharing your experience, education and observations. Thank you...very much.
This video was so reassuring. I have struggled a lot throughout my life but, about a year ago I started making improvements. I workout consistently five days a week, after a year I see the improvements which motivates me to keep going. My outlook on life changed from me being better than everyone else to giving everyone the benefit of the doubt. I always try to find what others have to offer and what I can do to help. Everything you said in the video I figured out myself and with help from others. It helped me realize that what I have been doing for a year is helping and, that I am going in the right direction. Thank you!
Great video Dr. K! The examples were very relatable.
This is an amazing video, This puts concepts I was trying to integrate into a congruent and well structured explanation, Thank you Dr K
Actually yes. lol I tend to write stuff down to organize my thoughts, but make the mistake of not going back to it. Reflecting, processing, and acknowledging positively what I've done in my attempts to be productive is ABSOLUTELY how to reinforce making the right decisions again and again.
Thanks so much for this. ^^
Can I just say, out of everyone's 'productivity' advice on YT, Dr. K is the only one that consistently gets me back on course and with more self-knowledge than before. I've got to take notes on this when I get home. Besides getting a summary to reference later, I keep a store of notes called my 'Dharma Journal' where I put a lot of his recommendations into practice and it's worked /exceedingly well/ to break the cycle.
thank you for this one, I been struggling with my life for years and it always feels like an endless war. this has helped a lot ty.
"Your brain ends up punishing you for doing the little things that make you grow" (or something like that). Just on the feels, K. Thats me...and i need to change that disabling mindset. Thank you for helping me to see it and for giving ways to be more grateful and forgiving towards miself.
This video is a massive w. Especially since I've been struggling to stay positive. It took me quite a while to learn that any progress is valuable no matter how small.
Just wanted to share something I’ve learned during my fitness routine thats a huge hack: think of the “bad” or “weak” days as the most important. Sure you may feel shitty about your performance but if you are able to convince yourself that just the fact of being there to stick to a plan is the biggest W you can see in the gym, it becomes so much more of a thing you look forward to as a part of your lifestyle
Good work Dr K! Great timing and will really help with my tendencies to be hard on myself when trying to instil good habits 👍
I have to say, your hair looks beautiful dude. Thanks for all the good content for mental health. I always watch your videos while working.
Literally Dr. K's videos are a positive input for me to get motivated to pursue good habits for myself lol
Thank you for this, I have been going through a faze where, I actually feel so much better mentally when I am more creative, going out for a walk and yarl giving myself more time to be bored, thinking of new ideas instead of feeling that time with video games.
I like how Doc just sets me up for success more and more with every video I watch
This was the most useful video I've seen in a while, and I don't even have a gaming problem (or any addiction for that matter)
The part about teaching your brain to reinforce positive behavior was fascinating, and made me realize how I never really feel happy or proud of myself when I accomplish a difficult task, and how that keeps making it more and more difficult to do those things. Fascinating.
Definitely. this vid transcends video games. It's more about rewiring the dopaminergic system
I haven't seen a Dr K vid in prob 8 months and the first video I click on is a BANGER as always. Mindfulness guru. Thank you for never missing. I still wear your merch I bought 2 years ago to the gym!
Mentally chewing on a topic and appreciateing the small wins, has helped me to quit smoking. It took lots of trials, but I celebrated each period of not smoking. In order to establish a new habit it hadn't I haven't applied this method that consciously and successfully.
I never had an issue with my gaming. I normally treat video games as a reward. So at the end of the day once everything is done and I've taken care of everything I have to do for that day then I'll play games. The only time I think about games throughout my day is when a new game comes out. This video was actually kinda helpful to me. 💚
The worst thing is that im not addicted to video games. I dont play them often nor do i have the urge to do it. But i still cant bring myself to do stuff that i know i need to do and it's exactly as you describe. I do stuff for some time ( in some cases for months) still dont come close to it giving me positive feedback, and i quit. And apart from work i have to do i do nothing just browsing web or watching youtube. I'm not even playng games anymore because i convinced myself thats it's a waste of time (and for the most part it is). The funniest thing is that all of what you have said i discovered by myself just reflecting on my own behaviour, but it is still not enough to win.
Same
Scrolling social media and youtube triggers the same reward circuits as playing videos games
I really needed this thank you 😊
I really needed this, thank you
Thanks so much for the tips. I really appreciate that you made this video.
Thank you, this was so useful!
I just put two and two together about my music professor who never really rewarded me or used positive words in my private lessons. He believed in being strict and critical, and sometimes he even made me feel humiliated. I think this sucked all the joy out of it, and recently I’ve also been reflecting a lot about the anxiety I developed (mainly an anxiety about sitting in the audience, which I still don’t logically understand where that is rooted in). In reality, I was getting better and better at playing my instrument, but I felt worse and worse because of the cruelty.
Thank you soo much you don't know how much i needed that video
For the longest time i'm been self destroying myself and i didn't know why, i hated every little thing i used to like, i engaged in addictions, everyday wasting a great amount of time and whenever i try to break though it becomes harder and harder i felt like giving up, thoughi wanted to get up still
And well the reasons i fell into this trap was 'cause of perfectionism in first place, doing good yet self punishing, no matter how great i did or how much i improved and well to put my mind to sleep to stop that chatter that 'it's not enough' dialogue i'll waste time either binge watching or playing video games,
Well i'm seeing a bit of improvement this days since i started journaling and well watching this video i know how finally make a break through
this is an incredible video that answer my question why the h i want to write gratitude journal and why replace good habits with gaming is so painful. Genuinely thanks for the video
@mathewchan503, Thank you for your share. Can you advise me what works best for you, please? I want to ask a few ppl. I'm super curious and can't find the answer anywhere, so...
After an intense battle sesh' and your family calls you again to eat your dinner (let's say for example), You're furious to leave the game just then but you don't want to be a total _____, so my question to you is:
How much gap-time do you need to give yourself to let your dysregulated sympathetic feelings in the virtual world to match the dining room's socially acceptable parasympathetic feelings in the real world (5, 15, 30mins)?
And What's the best way to spend that gap-time??
@@HarveyKlee My experience is that if you leave in the middle of intences battle, like a rank game in lol or whatever competitive gaming, it takes long time to resume normal. So I won't play until the last minute before dinner, I would count the time left if is enough for me to start a new game. You would be more peaceful if you stop playing game on your decision.
This feels like really helpful, practical advice. We all need to know more about these brains that are driving us!
THANK YOU SO MUCH
great message!
this information is valuable because it helps to see in another way the use of games as something creative and fundamental for the expression of creative ideas.
It's nice to see a video about the good ol' productivity things.
This was helpful thank you 🙏
Great Video! this is the first time I feel that this advice actually makes sense, not like "find something to replace gaming", kind of advice. Thank you! 🙂
This is actually something I needed to hear. About a week ago I noticed just how happy and uplifted I feel every time I accomplish something in the game, how entertained I am while scrolling through video essays or tiktoks. And for all this week I was kind of stuck in the black&white thinking (there's probably a better term for it but I am not native speaker so that basically means I get to write nearly incoherent and get away with it) like "Oh no, there is absolutely NOTHING that can be as engaging as that, so I will have to rely on my will power FOREVER and I don't have so much power to hold myself back, so basically I’m screwed, this is how it works". I really tend to fall in this type of thought process and it paralyzes me for a great while. Thankfully, Dr.K helped me out on this one, so thank you!
i love this very much. i would be honored to having you on my channel. i have been focusing on discussions about shadow work and self actualization. I myself have been suffering from using videogames as a coping mechanism. This video has a lot of great info. would be amazing to expand upon this and delver deeper and hear more from you
To add to all the advice here, my recommendation for video game problems that has helped me a bit, is to see them for what they are, as typically being something that simulates achievement and success for a small fraction of the effort that would be required to succeed irl.
So I would say to someone who is stuck enjoying all the success you feel in a video game, that succeeding in something irl feels better than any video game, because you know it requires more work and more pain to get there, and so sticking it out through all that and surviving in the end to achieve something that may help other people irl is one hell of a feeling.
To me the ingame quests also exist in real life, a gamer can look to those for a source of enjoyment alternative to a video game. They simply lack the vibrant colours and flashing lights of a computer screen, but indeed they are quests and they do reward actual rewards.
Nice vid tho Dr. K i'll definitely try this out ty
This video was really informative and I've learned so much from it, thank you my guy!
I’ve just recently found your channel and it’s like you have the key to my brain 😂 thanks for your videos, they’re very insightful
I really needed this one, thanks a ton
Amazing video very eye opening. Thank you
Absolute banger video Dr. K. I know a couple people who need to see this one
Thx man. Have been thinking about this recently
What a great explanation. That really makes sense. I have been practicing gratitude and it does help. Celebrating your wins, however small is important. Now the next challenge is to separate the association with the addiction with pleasure. How do I convince my brain that the game will not be the best possible feeling when it remembers that it is. There doesn’t seem to be any (positive) impulse to capture around taxes and such odious tasks.
@EastBayE, Thank you for your share. Can you advise me what works best for you, please? I want to ask a few ppl. I'm super curious and can't find the answer anywhere, so...
After an intense battle sesh' and your family calls you again to eat your dinner (let's say for example), You're furious to leave the game just then but you don't want to be a total _____, so my question to you is:
How much gap-time do you need to give yourself to let your dysregulated sympathetic feelings in the virtual world to match the dining room's socially acceptable parasympathetic feelings in the real world (5, 15, 30mins)?
And What's the best way to spend that gap-time??
@@HarveyKlee THe more time the better. Sometimes it takes days. I recently made a bet with my friends to not game for 6 weeks (being accountable to another person really helps). I play board games with myfriends instead; like a nicotine patch;-). Seriously it helps to have a game outlet and it is a socially connected activity instead of isolating in front of a screen.
I try to stop playing game , When free time come My mind blank and don't know what should i do☠️
It helped me a lot to set my exercise goals really low. Just sitting and stretching is good for dopamine, and it's a way to get in touch with your body.
I recently took some of this advice and turned to a more visceral hobby. I have always enjoyed Lego, and sorting them relaxes me in some strange way. The benefit has been spending more time with my daughter, and more relaxed and calm mind, less anxiety.
practicing gratitude is so OP, i haven't done it for a long time but it changes so much
I've heard something like this somewhere
"Back then video games were made to escape reality
Today reality is an escape from video games"
Its like im stuck in this hole and i cant get out in the reality again. I stay up all night and play nonstop even when im tired and dont find it fun. If i get free time or am just bored i just mindlessy start playing like a robot. Also when i open up social media i have this similar kinda
Mindless scrolling hand motion. It also sucks cos i do the daily missions every day and feel like im missing out on a lot of xp if i miss just one single day. Atp it became a chore for me and im just tempted to grind the battlepass and get that limited time drop. I dont want to conpletly quit playing tho. I just want to play like once a week. But the urge just keep coming and i cant stop
My advice to myself and everyoneelse who is suffering from this addiction is to take some time to think about what youll gain before playing. Thats all just take your time and dont feel rushed
Great Information!!!
One thing that helped re-enforce my gym habit was learning a few lifts/movements that activated "lifting" muscles that gave me a temporary toned-effect in the mirror immediately post workout. Stuff like oblique twists, or side leg lifts (from the Pilates program) which will pull your waist in and butt up for a few minutes post-pump. Check yourself out in hte mirror get your dopamine hit because you look less doughy, then do your core strength work and leave. Eventually you won't need to start with the pump you up movements (took about a month for me)
Thanks, Doc. Just in time for my another spiraling down
I don't even play videogames and I still find this extremely useful. Thanks Dr. K ♡
I remember this is how my Dad killed any joy in reading for me. He's a professor and has probably read hundreds of thousands of books - but would turn reading into a task for me, asking for a minimum number of pages read as extra homework, and failure to do so resulting in disappointment or scolding. Naturally now i dont read at all - but i had other stuff i enjoyed or other things i do that are healthy, but i've internalised my dad and beat myself up for not doing more. For me gaming is the reward, so especially on weekends when i have more free time to do so, Im definitely on it more than I want to be.
you should take more responsibility, man up instead of blaming your dad
I always knew that I could affect my impulses somewhat with the content that I absorbed (like watching house cleaning videos to motivate myself to tidy up) but the content itself was so addictive that it was easy to get sucked in or derailed into some other recommended video. I never really thought about using my own thoughts as the content, I feel like that would be a lot more effective and less likely to waste even more of my time.
Can't wait to meet the new version of myself. Proud of the guy that got me this far and learning to love the journey.
I am going to quit gaming for at least 3 months , I need to also reach that best version of myself and I feel gaming fucks up soemtbjfn
*something
@@jordanmarazzi3548 gaming can really suck you in definitely I'm right there with you. Same for any dopaminergic junk, tic tok, corn, and fast food for me. I still play games like Civ and rimworld when there's time I absolutely have nothing todo but when I take more responsibility I definitely won't have the time for even that. Maybe might just use PTO as the only time I can game and for like Dark Souls level games only in the time.
The way that I overcame my video game addiction was to simply sit and think a little about the game before actually playing the game. I would always imagine myself playing, completing dungeons, getting XP and what not, but then this one thought came to mind: "hold on... what is it all for?" The moment I realise I gain literally nothing (in real life) by playing the game is the moment I decide not to play. And it gets much easier with each day. I can go on months without playing and I'm saying this as someone who used to play literally 10 or more hours daily. Something in me just snapped the moment I tried to look at life as whole. This is not to say that I don't play anything at all anymore. I get fixated on a game from time to time, but my "addiction" only lasts around 4-5 days max, then I return to not playing for months again.
Damn man it’s so hard for me I been gaming non stop since I was 7 I am 23 now , I know I got to quit tho it’s so hard I had a YT channel to do with gaming it’s just so connected to me , but I quitting , one day I’ll be happy I quit and I can maybe even play again one day once I’ve worked on myself and my life , but now I got to quit
Man I just bought a new computer and now your gaming vids pop up in my recommendations, im sorry but your best video won't make me throw out my new gaming rig :D
This video coming out just as I’m getting into Elden Ring is like a sign from the Universe
i also heard that if you want to stop doing something add more obstacles in the way - if u want to stop playing video games just uninstall the games, u are less likely to play video games if every time u have to wait 10 mins for the game to download.
if u want to start doing something remove as many obstacles as you can - how often are you going to play guitar if its in a box in your garage somewhere? take the guitar and place it somewhere close like near your bed or your desk - u will be constantly seeing the guitar and plus its already out of the box and ready to be used
it's actually really interesting too look at gratitude as an internal radar and scale for things you genuinely value and respect.
I thankfully never had issues negatively reinforcing excercise because even when i was at my worst shape and most sedentary lifestyle, excercise actually gave me a pretty big mood boost and lowered my anxiety on the spot.
Dr K you are my favorite Desi psychologist thank you
1. Capturing impulses
2. Reflection
3. Positive reinforcement
Pausing has been so helpful for me in recent times. Feeling anxious? Pause and sit in it for a bit. Wanna start scrolling through YT shorts? Pause. Feeling the impulse to eat unhealthy food? Pause. Feeling sad? Pause. It's not much first, but it eventually gets me to start seeing my life in a different light, even if I do on occasion give in to the feeling or desire.
Man TH-cam must be an algorithm after all! Sniffs cries tears of joy
This trick was honestly how I am making progress in finally exercising! And this is why specific and realistic goals are so important because u can actually celebrate the small wins without slacking off :D
Except my addiction is watching TH-cam
I agree. Stacking up W's over time can lead to a positive snowball effect before you realize it. Its funny because the converse works with bad decisions too.
Video games for me has been a part of my life. It keeps myself sane and safe from the outside world
thats the addiction talking
@@suqmadique9762 it's better than going to prison
Life without video games is no life at all
No life at all lul
@@soundscaperecordings1111 yup. No life without social media and the Internet 😞🛜
i feel the same way but i am definitely just addicted
I used to journal at the end of the day as a way to reflect on it. It was the most productive month of my life. I need to get back to that.
This is exactly me with going to the gym or anything that will improve my life. I know my discipline is severely limited and I'll find myself back to square one again.