Recovered Eating Disorder Sufferer-Allie

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 629

  • @alexandrabrown54
    @alexandrabrown54 2 ปีที่แล้ว +338

    Hello SWU - Thank you for watching my interview

    • @backspotqt93
      @backspotqt93 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I love you princess

    • @thematriarchy2075
      @thematriarchy2075 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Thank you very much for sharing your story, Alexandra/ Allie?. Much love to you❤

    • @JaZmine147
      @JaZmine147 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Who is Elle?

    • @KimbradleyMasterGardener
      @KimbradleyMasterGardener 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I really enjoyed your interview, Allie! Thanks for showing up and don't pay attention to the assholes with mean feedback!
      Love,
      Nashville by way of NW Detroit
      Xoxo

    • @alexandrabrown54
      @alexandrabrown54 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@KimbradleyMasterGardener Thanks!!! Much love to you, Detroit sister!!!!!

  • @nbazzi6134
    @nbazzi6134 2 ปีที่แล้ว +571

    Eating disorders are very misunderstood, which is exactly why we need these interviews. Thanks Mark.

    • @khalilahd.
      @khalilahd. 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Couldn’t agree more 🙏🏽

    • @joediditde
      @joediditde 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      they are also hard to understand if you dont have it

    • @nicholasw6442
      @nicholasw6442 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      We all need exposure to these stories, so that we can understand when somebody is struggling, without them needing to explain

    • @charsiu_808
      @charsiu_808 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Definitely..as a survivor I concur!

    • @JShawnPaul
      @JShawnPaul 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Great comment, I thought the same

  • @brittanyhunter3331
    @brittanyhunter3331 2 ปีที่แล้ว +125

    As a fellow eating disorder sufferer, everything that she’s said here is true. I also came from a privileged family that from the outside looking in had everyone fooled, but as a super sensitive child subject to constant criticism, demands for perfection, and a pervasive emotional neglect, as an adolescent bulimia seemed the only way to escape. Thank you so much for sharing your story, and god bless you!

    • @alexandrabrown54
      @alexandrabrown54 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I see you and am sending you love sister

    • @kimberleyjane2338
      @kimberleyjane2338 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@alexandrabrown54 Great message! I especially appreciate your mentioning that this goes for both sides, too over and too under. Also, Because you are much younger than me, i will say this: size has nothing to do with having the right to feel/be sexy. lol. Sexy is and only is, what sexy does. It's an action not a look. Many of those so called perfect bodies are the worst, uninformed and uninterested in practicing sexy, because their misfortune is their body and sex is dead beets. lol. Being sexy and looking sexy are not the same thing is what I mean to say. When we get old, looking sexy is gone but we are not dead lol.

    • @life_withl
      @life_withl ปีที่แล้ว

      As a fellow Michigander, so proud you shared your story ❤

    • @jenrich111
      @jenrich111 ปีที่แล้ว

      4:20😂 laughed hysterically "carbs" are 💯 not essential and you won't die. You would be a slim healthy carnivore like many Doctors who promote this woe 😂 I just can't let that slide

  • @heather4180
    @heather4180 2 ปีที่แล้ว +175

    “It really is all about self love.” Probably one of the most profound sentences. It’s applicable to every single living human being. Thank You

  • @michelleparsons8775
    @michelleparsons8775 2 ปีที่แล้ว +73

    I have suffered from an eating disorder for 40 years. I am one of the lucky ones. I am still alive. I found this interview interesting. I owned an eating disorder forums in the early to mid 2000s. Sadly, that used to be an acceptable thing . In most instances the males and females I came to know that suffered had experienced abuse or some other type of trauma. Starvation gives a false sense of euphoria and control. Thank you for the insight to another side of it. I want to add if you are suffering from an eating disorder be it anorexia, bulimia , compulsive over eating disorder or any others, please seek help. It’s a rough and lonely life.
    It’s one of the hardest illnesses to “ cure.” Three years ago, I was near death. I realize as long as I live that I will struggle with starvation. For today, I am at the top of my healthy weight chart. Anyway, I apologize for my rambling. Being normal weight is a challenge for me. Blessed be.

    • @KimbradleyMasterGardener
      @KimbradleyMasterGardener 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Best Wishes from Nashville Tennessee USA 🇺🇸 ♥

    • @GrannyGooseOnYouTube
      @GrannyGooseOnYouTube 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      63 with atypical anorexia. I hear you. I see you. I wish you all the best.

    • @michelleparsons8775
      @michelleparsons8775 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@GrannyGooseOnTH-cam I wish you the very best as well.

    • @mgal6234
      @mgal6234 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Anorexic for 30 years myself. I bet I was on your site back then. Sending love ❤️

    • @michelleparsons8775
      @michelleparsons8775 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@mgal6234 much love to you as well. SFP was one I belonged to. HFQ was mine.

  • @VerticalGastricSleeveSuccess
    @VerticalGastricSleeveSuccess 2 ปีที่แล้ว +109

    I identify with her on almost every level. I never “looked” like a person with a major eating disorder and that messes with your mind.

    • @KatJ3st
      @KatJ3st 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      exactly

    • @jenbrender3815
      @jenbrender3815 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Me too! I also told myself too , since I only purged a few times a week it wasn’t a problem. I was a normal weight for my height so no one knew .It’s such a complicated disease. No one gets it unless they went thru it

  • @khalilahd.
    @khalilahd. 2 ปีที่แล้ว +148

    “It’s a self love problem, whether it’s drugs or eating disorders” this is so so true and it doesn’t even have to be this extreme. Finding self love is so crucial for Not only for your mental health but also your physical health. Such a great interview 🙏🏽

    • @charsiu_808
      @charsiu_808 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I found that really learning to love Jesus is helping me to love myself and to stop all my self destructive addictions..I've suffered from an eating disorder from 17 to 60 years old..im not religious by any means I'm a follower of the truth..and that's Jesus Christ.

    • @pjrichards3974
      @pjrichards3974 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@charsiu_808 Yes !!

    • @sharnac1867
      @sharnac1867 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Sometimes it’s the only escape when reality is too painful.

    • @belzy02belindah28
      @belzy02belindah28 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      100% !! Even when you get over the eating disorder and have a positive body image/healthy relationship with food it usually manifests in other areas of life. The whole “I’m not good enough” perfectionist is hard to break. ❤ guess this is our life lessons.

    • @belzy02belindah28
      @belzy02belindah28 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Sounds exactly how mine started…cutting out gluten, dairy, fat etc then the weight loss was extreme with the food range shrinking even more…Orthorexia and Anorexia.

  • @tylerg6117
    @tylerg6117 2 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    Yes, sometimes it’s a self love problem. But other times, in a lot of cases it’s just a coping mechanism. A lot of people feel like when they have control of nothing else in their life, they can control their food intake and/or their weight.

    • @snacktivist
      @snacktivist 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Also, it's a genetic predisposition triggered by life stressors. We need to remember there is a genetic element to this, and stop over-psychoanalysing it

  • @sara-nz5bt
    @sara-nz5bt 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Body disphormic disorder, ED, low self esteem, social anxiety, addiction, trauma, 30yrs therapy, 25 meds none worked, depression, anxiety, ocd. I'm 50 and wasted so much of my life but I'm finally healing on my own. Trying to find mindfulness and calm. It's extremely difficult. I believe therapists had no idea how to help besides medication. Turning 50 was a huge awakening for me. As well as obvious maturity and growth

  • @rosiealaniz3205
    @rosiealaniz3205 2 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    Allie, i loved your way you describe “HAPPINESS” . “Is not linear. It has ups and downs”. You appreciate sadness because you know happiness. Wonderful story. Keep loving yourself!

  • @illumifarti8052
    @illumifarti8052 2 ปีที่แล้ว +74

    When she talked about the 2000s and tabloids, it reminded me of when I was around 8 and my sister was about 12 and she had asked my mom if she could buy this teen magazine for her. It was wrapped in plastic and had a vest inside. The cover said something like ‘This is a size zero, try me and see if I fit!’ I remember me trying it on and I was a scrawny little 8 year old and it fit me just fine. Then my sister tried to put it on and it didn’t fit her. I can still remember her face after she pulled it off, she looked sad and went quiet and distant. I didn’t understand how fucked up it was as a little kid so I kind of teased her about it. I wish I’d given her a hug and told her she was good enough and didn’t need to be a size zero. I think I’m gonna go and hug my sister now.

  • @amanda00960
    @amanda00960 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Hi Angel 🤍 I’m also an ED survivor! I just wanted to say - your story is very relatable to me as I also felt pressure growing up in the 90’s and early 2000’s. I accidentally fell into my ED just as you did, with starting on a “small diet” that spiraled out of control. I’m so proud of you for how far you’ve come since what you are describing, and I admire your strength and courage for speaking on this topic (not many do). Remember that every day is a battle but we are stronger than our EDs 💜

  • @annieseaside
    @annieseaside 2 ปีที่แล้ว +69

    If you see this you did all the right things, removing and deleting anything that made you feel “less than.” You are beautiful and exactly as you were meant to be. You understand a secret to life. Diet is everything that touches you internally and externally, Wha you eat, drink, listen to, watch, read, the people you have at your home, work and in your bed. Everything that touches you physically, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually are important.
    As you realize “Happy” is a small moment not a linear constant. So many people used to instant gratification want all positives and want to bury or at least avoid looking at the ugly or the painful and self soothe with things that are nearly always not the solution to the harder less happy parts of life. Well done doing the work! I wish you waffles and Joy!

    • @wesleyAlan9179
      @wesleyAlan9179 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Waffles and Joy! 😁
      Right back at ya!💜

    • @ddz1375
      @ddz1375 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@mihe6212 why is saying kind things and wishing people happiness a sign of craziness? I thought it was quite nice

    • @ddz1375
      @ddz1375 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thank you so much! I wish you syrup and happiness!

    • @wesleyAlan9179
      @wesleyAlan9179 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@mihe6212
      I took your comment as an introduction to yourself😚

    • @SevenHunnid
      @SevenHunnid 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Lil Baby said I’m the hardest out on TH-cam right now, I’m Just a young 21 year old mexican that smokes weed on my TH-cam channel,tryna make it out the hood. I also ate burger king inside target hah😫

  • @KatJ3st
    @KatJ3st 2 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    This girl is so right on!!! Eating disorders are an addiction. Totally. Dealing with the mental stuff is as hard as anyone with any other addiction

    • @jackies.1338
      @jackies.1338 หลายเดือนก่อน

      12 Step Recovery program is Overeaters Anonymous. I lost 116 pds thus far.

  • @bthalsey5943
    @bthalsey5943 2 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    Eating disorders are SO similar to drug/ alcohol addiction. It’s very sad she feels as though she isn’t “worthy” because of the stigma. You are worthy. And thank you for sharing your story. You are beautiful 🙂

  • @MaioFourpaws
    @MaioFourpaws 2 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    Thanks Mark for pointing out that gluten-free has NOTHING to do with carb-free. When I was diagnosed as celiac and had to remove gluten, I actually gained weight cause I had to shift to more corn and rice based grain products vs rye, wheat, etc. All the “alt-grains” are CARBS. Gluten-free doesn’t make any one lose weight. Carb-free does. They are NOT the same.

    • @jenny875
      @jenny875 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I came looking for this comment. Lol. Thanks for saying that. It annoyed me when she said “yeah gluten free, carb free…whatever”….. No, those are very different from both a perspective from someone with an ED and someone with Celiac.

    • @MaioFourpaws
      @MaioFourpaws 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@jenny875 I’m glad you commented too. Now I know I wasn’t alone thinking/feeling that. 😀

    • @linnerskinner9355
      @linnerskinner9355 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Sounds like she just cut out pasta and bread but then didn’t replace it with any other food source

  • @KimbradleyMasterGardener
    @KimbradleyMasterGardener 2 ปีที่แล้ว +45

    From one Detroit girl to another Detroit girl congrats on your recovery, Allie 👏 👏 👏

  • @Anxiouscustomer
    @Anxiouscustomer 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Thank you so much for sharing. I’ve suffered with ED since high school and went to many outpatient treatment programs. I teared up during this video. I went through very similar things. I’m so glad that she could share her story.

  • @Thealune
    @Thealune 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Thank you Allie,
    I found myself in this interview,
    Also developed ED in my 20’s and started considering myself recovering when I was 28. Today I’m 39 and still in therapy on and off but in a totally different place now. I was also a sensitive child, now a sensitive adult learning to live and help others with this gift. It’s not that I wasn’t up to the magazines it’s to my own thoughts and feelings of being unworthy. It is so true, once you start your eating ordered the emotional stuff come to the surface and it’s a life work. Awareness is a hard and brave path. Sending all who struggle love and strength. It does get better and life is worth living and feeling.
    Thank you, Mark, for your most interesting, human and compassionate interviews.
    Tania.

  • @tayjay1164
    @tayjay1164 2 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    ED's are so hard, I am in recovery and it never goes away. Social media is destroying us all. 411 on Kim and Khloe dropping weight like crazy is from Diabetes drug injections. Allegedly, don't sue me. Thank you Allie for sharing your story, so glad you are happy and doing well now.

    • @BritTellstheTruth
      @BritTellstheTruth 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @Taylor Jenkins I was thinking it was related to medication of some sort too. This confirms it “allegedly” & i am not surprised if it’s true.

    • @tayjay1164
      @tayjay1164 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@BritTellstheTruth Watch Lorry Hill's video and Juicy Scoop. They both mention the medication. Sadly I wish I could get on it :(

    • @snacktivist
      @snacktivist 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      It does go away. Full recovery is possible

  • @dwade6322
    @dwade6322 2 ปีที่แล้ว +61

    Until you walk a mile in some one else's shoes, you really don't know the struggles they go through. ❤️

  • @saulegrazos338
    @saulegrazos338 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Thanks for spreading awareness! I do have an eating disorder from which I have recovered. However, this was a long journey, with treatment centers and 10 years of personal therapy every week! But now I love my body just the way it is and don't want to change a thing 💓💓💓

  • @seachelschneiders
    @seachelschneiders ปีที่แล้ว +4

    You’re a badass. I never heard anyone else ever share about driving along & potentially “ending it” to not deal. I had that same thought one time when I was in a dark place, and I never wanted to die either. But on another note, In my opinion, you don’t have to go to treatment to offer experience, strength & hope to the next person who’s still sick & suffering. Thanks for sharing with us. Keep it real forever ❤

  • @sandeemills358
    @sandeemills358 3 วันที่ผ่านมา

    So refreshing to have an interview who is always working to be responsible and take her life in her own hands and not drown in her problems. Thanks Mark for having a variety of interviews, I'm addicted to this channel.

  • @watchmedobetter
    @watchmedobetter 2 ปีที่แล้ว +42

    Thank you Mark for another great interview, here is proof of knowing yourself worth early. Most people fall to being victims of being validated by others, which could be okay if intentions are good which social media has proven that's not the case. However having self worth will help you determine the people that are good and bad for because you know them being around is a privilege and not a " someone to ruin" moment

    • @ericjohnston591
      @ericjohnston591 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      It's not a matter of being a victim, it's feeling victimized. When you develop the inner strength to just live your life without fixating on Paris Hilton or the tabloids or Instagram or other stupid shit, you will grow up and become yourself. If you perceive yourself as a victim of the sources you obsess with and blame them for your problems, you cease to grow and take initiative with your life and assume culpability for your actions. If you choose to ignore the stupid shit, you'll become yourself. She still has a way to go, and I hope the best for her.

  • @JayN4GO
    @JayN4GO 2 ปีที่แล้ว +70

    I think self love comes with getting older and finally understanding your best attributes

    • @jujujouet7944
      @jujujouet7944 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      So true. Plus, it seems more to do with self respect than love to me. As people age, they tend to accomplish goals like earning a degree, landing a great job, become great at a hobby, etc., which builds their self-esteem, thus their self-regard. If someone is just sitting on the couch all day eating cartons of ice cream, they may say they love themselves although I bet they're lying to themselves. Their actions speak louder than words.

    • @pjrichards3974
      @pjrichards3974 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@jujujouet7944 I don't have a degree or a great job and I don't have time for a hobby, I am not very educated, I work in sewer and I respect and love myself. Like Jay stated self love comes with finding your best attributes. Society makes us think we have to have a degree and a great job with a 401k to be happy. LOL

    • @jujujouet7944
      @jujujouet7944 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@pjrichards3974 - You have a job that you're probably pretty skilled at. Therefore, it proves my point that accomplishments, including working at a job & getting paid, boosts our self-esteem & therefore our love of ourselves. I'm sure there are people who are homeless & have a good self-esteem because they are good people who help others & share, which they love so they love themselves as well. Getting a degree is just a tiny example of potential accomplishments. On the other hand, if a person has a shitty attitude towards other people, is rude, entitled & disrespectful & generally a bully, most likely they are too happy & don't "love themselves." lols

    • @pjrichards3974
      @pjrichards3974 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@jujujouet7944 LOL You are right about that !

    • @jujujouet7944
      @jujujouet7944 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@pjrichards3974 lol, & you re are correct as well. Parfait for the course! 🤣🤣🤣

  • @POISONANGEL444
    @POISONANGEL444 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    bulimia was the hardest thing for me to overcome(still struggle) would love to hear more stories on ed topics!

  • @katedeliyiannis
    @katedeliyiannis 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    lived with bulimia for 7 years. it gets embedded into your soul, like an out of body experience. definitely resonated with everything allie said. thank you for this interview mark and thanks allie for your vulnerability and congratulations on recovery

  • @AlBundy319
    @AlBundy319 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Allie you are so clear headed and well spoken. Even the sound of your voice emits clarity somehow, it's wonderful. Makes me so happy to see you found happiness and was able to get to the root cause of the problem. "It's all about self love" such a powerful realization and core issue, rarely spoken of. Much love to you!

  • @BritTellstheTruth
    @BritTellstheTruth 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I love how she mentioned “disordered eating” and how that progresses to eating disorders. I struggled with my weight and disordered eating all my mid-teens into my twenties. It wasn’t until 2020 that I decided I am going to start enjoying food in balance and exercise & stop FAD DIETS. They never worked long term or made me happy. I hated my body, always wanted to be skinny and never embraced my curves. I always obsessed about what I was or wasn’t eating & over-exercised. Then I decided to start enjoying my “fear foods” and continue being physically active (which I love). Therapy helped, a lot of the hyper focus on self-image stems from anxiety and that’s what it was for me. The mind set is “what will they think of me if I’m not (this illusion of perfection)”. Then that translates to also picking yourself apart to reach that unattainable goal. Balance and moderation has helped. Again, Therapy has helped a little but mostly it was the support of my bf loving me for me and all my flaws and myself doing whatever it takes to change my relationship with food, to have a healthy relationship with food and enjoy it. It’s fuel, it’s ok to also enjoy it and at the same time be mindful of what you’re eating to get the proper nutrients. 💯 I loved this interview. It sheds light on that struggle. I can honestly say I love myself now too. Congrats on FRED recovery ❤️‍🩹

  • @Shornandkenny
    @Shornandkenny 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    13 years with an ed wife.
    Ive read everything there is to read over the years. What you said about going to rehab and cutting out your drug, but with an ed you need to regulate it is one of the most profound things ive ever heard.

    • @snacktivist
      @snacktivist 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Find Tabitha Farrar's guide for carers

  • @earthbruja5268
    @earthbruja5268 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    The imposter syndrome is so real. Going through an eating disorder during the y2k was so hellish. Mary Kate on every cover. Nicole Richie everywhere. Thin thin thin. I was obsessed with being a size zero. And I did get there. However I still had a period. And no hospital would actually diagnose me. I was 5'1 so wasn't severely underweight. I remember I finally admitted to a nurse about my problems after I attempted an overdose and she did an ekg on me. And said, very cheerfully, "heart is all good. Healthy heart. You are totally healthy." I hated that word. Healthy. It set me back a lot. I was 18 at the time. I'm now 35 and still struggle.

    • @doyouhavevaginaldryness1130
      @doyouhavevaginaldryness1130 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Okay there’s fat people celebrated everyday now from Lizzo to thicc models they’re everywhere-so there’s no excuse now

    • @dubaiedge
      @dubaiedge ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Right? I really wish healthcare professionals would get some kind of sensitivity training for dealing with ED patients. If they did, they'd know to never use the word "healthy." I hope you are doing well.

    • @snacktivist
      @snacktivist 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Fuck the stigma. You are valid. Get help

  • @briananoveron8308
    @briananoveron8308 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Extremely loved this video, I can relate 100%. I am now recovered and am the happiest I've ever been. Took a lot of self exploration and self love! So grateful for my husband, he has definitely helped me sooo much. Thank you for sharing Allie, sending many blessings and hugs!

  • @tiffanyhelke7322
    @tiffanyhelke7322 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I do not have an eating disorder but I found a lot of the things she said very inspiring. Thank you. After watching this video I called both my kids and told them things I loved about them.

    • @alexandrabrown54
      @alexandrabrown54 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Tiffany - This made me cry. This is exactly the reaction I wanted from sharing my story. So much love to you and your family!

  • @sunshine8697
    @sunshine8697 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Excellent interview! At 58, your personality is very relatable for me. I worked very hard to get ahead, however I only embraced self acceptance and self love much much later in life. It is wonderful that you have embraced your self worth in your 20’s! 🙏🏻🥰 As you said, we have to put in the work; this applies to all areas and aspects of ourselves, our lives. Allie, you truly are a beautiful young woman! You are intelligent and wise beyond your years❣️❤️ You would be an excellent mentor and positive role model for others who need support and guidance with eating disorders. Keep up the great work! Wishing you blessings and much success with all your endeavors🥰 ~ Christina 🤍✨💕

  • @guycalgary7800
    @guycalgary7800 2 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    Ive known a couple of people in my life that had eating disorders, they were both perfectionists! Whether it was getting straight A's in school or trying to have the perfect life. Etc etc. They never half assed anything , diets meant starvation as an example.

    • @michelleparsons8775
      @michelleparsons8775 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      ^This!!!! Everything is obsessive and to the extreme. Anything less feels like failure.

    • @shaolinhabibi
      @shaolinhabibi 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I know some too the other way, but this isn't being talked about. Being overweight is not good for you and overeating is an eating disorder too.

    • @michelleparsons8775
      @michelleparsons8775 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@shaolinhabibi 💯 Same brain misfire opposite symptoms.

    • @shaolinhabibi
      @shaolinhabibi 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@michelleparsons8775 sometimes it's not even "brain misfires", it's the natural course of things to develop coping mechanisms - to cope with trauma or just insecurities.

    • @purplevolution
      @purplevolution 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Totally. Control your food if you’re feeling out of control in your life

  • @mistystreasurechest5347
    @mistystreasurechest5347 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Will definitely share this with my 16 year old daughter. Thank you Allie, Ty Mark 💕

  • @410Gregj
    @410Gregj ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Yea stay off the social media boys and girls. Get out and public and look around and you’ll see how real people look and act. Social media is ruining people’s lives. You look beautiful Allie!

  • @darleengulezian3942
    @darleengulezian3942 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you, Allie. Your voice is the one I wish I had for myself, your recovery is the path I hope to find one day. Your interview will be saved and watched.....for always. A huge thanks to Mark Laita for his tireless work on this platform and reaching all of us in a spiritual and sometimes painstakingly direct way.

  • @charlotteMT134
    @charlotteMT134 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    What an excellent discussion with Allie. I know Allie's experience with her sensitivity and excellent speaking skills, is bound to help people understand the disorder of eating that too often turns to a terrible eating disorder whatever direction and style takes over. Love and hugs with thanks.

  • @jennijapanime
    @jennijapanime ปีที่แล้ว +1

    What an eye opening interview, Allie is awesome. The thoughts you have about your eating disorder are super insightful and wise. I appreciate your openness about social media and how it changes people. Thank you for talking about the line and the difference between disordered eating and how that can change quickly into an eating disorder. As a woman obsessions over food and taking that for granted in social circles is so toxic and also so accepted with women even in "body positive" circles. It's so complicated. Thank you for sharing your story. I wish you well in your continued recovery.

  • @life_withl
    @life_withl ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thanks for sharing your story… Fellow Michigander here 💙 Can’t relate to your exact experience but I’ve absolutely had my own struggles… Sending positive vibes your way 🙏

  • @oppositeofh8
    @oppositeofh8 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    allie, you rule. i feel uplifted by your story & your spirit. thank you. i wish you continued positivity & unconditional love, always.

  • @naznow
    @naznow 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    It’s very difficult to have a friendship with someone that has disordered eating. There is so much denial, manipulation, and frustration. It’s challenging because you understand that this person is very much struggling and needs support and you try to give it and be available. But eventually it chips away at the relationship and makes it difficult to spend time with them. Just having a bite to eat with them is incredibly frustrating. How does one not completely cut someone out when they so desperately need help but at the same time protecting one’s own sanity?

    • @phyllysanantonio
      @phyllysanantonio 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I can’t deal with them , either. I like to eat and I don’t like to talk about food all the time. That is all they talk about

    • @snacktivist
      @snacktivist 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Find Tabitha Farrar's guide for carers

  • @trialgoddess
    @trialgoddess 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    This is one of my childhood anecdotes that I allowed to define me for many years. My mother, a stunning beauty who never left the house without looking great, once took my younger siblings and me with her to the grocery. The manager of the grocery swooped over upon seeing Mom arrive and they exchanged pleasantries. When she politely introduced her offspring, he exclaimed, "Oh, Rhonda must look like her father." At that point, my beloved dad's beautiful naturally curly hair had disappeared as had the athleticism of the young man who played basketball in high school, the USAF and college...he had switched to golf that just didn't burn as many calories. So, he was a bald, moderately heavy, 6'2" man who could not have picked out that grocery guy from a lineup of one. Regardless, that one statement was soul-crushing and made me feel less-than. When we are children, we perceive parents and most adults as demi-gods who are omnipotent and omniscient. As we get older, we recognize the parenting mistakes they made and try to forgive them. "Love yourself" was never uttered by either of my parents; and hearing "I love you," was as rare as a sighting of Elvis in a Costco. Yes, my butterfly finally emerged from its cocoon and I enjoyed far too much attention from the opposite sex, but those external factors were never enough to end the sense of failure from not being as gorgeous as my mother. Listening to Allie's talk brought that memory to the forefront again.

  • @Nessa_1990
    @Nessa_1990 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you so much for posting this. I've struggled badly, including now, for... 18 years now. More than I've NOT had an eating disorder. I'm at a low point.
    The earlier someone gets help, the better. Thank you, again, and please keep posting videos like these.

  • @julielukert5097
    @julielukert5097 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Is he seriously arguing with her about the details of her eating disorder? Gluten-free, carb-free, whatever. She began starving herself! He's missing the point.

    • @stormcorrosion176
      @stormcorrosion176 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Julie I noticed that too. Was wondering why Mark asked that. Well, chalk it up to an interviewer mistake I suppose!

  • @ellenk.177
    @ellenk.177 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Please do more of these. EDs are so much more common than we all think and there are so many people that can relate to this interview.

  • @col.cottonhill6655
    @col.cottonhill6655 2 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    Anyone remember that show Ally McBeal? I didn't know what anorexia was until that actress came out with her struggle. I can't imagine how difficult life must be with this disorder. Hope you get better Allie. I'm rooting for you

    • @Gram72534
      @Gram72534 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yeah and remember how Donald Trump used to belittle and degrade her on national television??? A real leader would have never done something like that,,, would they???

    • @col.cottonhill6655
      @col.cottonhill6655 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@Gram72534 does Donald Trump live rent free in your head? Lol

    • @Gram72534
      @Gram72534 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@col.cottonhill6655 you mean yours skippy!lol! Just like the right quick to deflect! Your the 1 who leaves stupid comments about Biden, your the 1 that can't get over the fact that "Brandon" kicked your hero's ASS!lol! Face it homie you just parrot what you think will get you the approval you so desperately desire!!!

    • @myeyeswentdeaf6213
      @myeyeswentdeaf6213 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Idk what @Gram #7 said, but C’mon, everybody hates Donald Bin Trump. I hear he’s a Saudi Prince now. 😂

    • @myeyeswentdeaf6213
      @myeyeswentdeaf6213 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Btw, great comment.👍 I think eating disorders are worse than any drug addiction.

  • @caseyhess7798
    @caseyhess7798 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This young woman unfortunately has a very relatable story. So glad that she is recovering, but her experience is one of so many that go unnoticed to the exact reasons she mentions and is so so hard to untangle because it’s not taken seriously. You cannot escape your drug. They say “just eat,” but it’s so much bigger than that. I’ve lived a version of her story, and it’s so so hard to come back when it’s literally inescapable. Good luck Allie!!!!

  • @kurdishgirl6361
    @kurdishgirl6361 2 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    I love to travel and try authentic local food wherever I go. I can’t imagine going to another country and not being able to enjoy their cuisine. There is a saying : in order to understand a culture you have to taste it. I am happy for her and I hope she can enjoy life more now. Thanks for sharing 🫰🏽

    • @myeyeswentdeaf6213
      @myeyeswentdeaf6213 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Yeah, I’m a foodie too. I don’t get to travel much but I live in NYC. So I still get to eat food from pretty much every culture in the world right here.

    • @aren1998
      @aren1998 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Same. I love food!

    • @genesises
      @genesises 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @truthsation help me out, i'd like some money and to go to hawaii. i'm even better looking than her! also im alot smarter than you so that'd work in your favor as well 8)

    • @thematriarchy2075
      @thematriarchy2075 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      No offence, but your comment is rather ignorant. I hope you understand what i mean. Again, no offence intended, as i am sure your comment wasn't either.

    • @kufresh1988
      @kufresh1988 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@thematriarchy2075 offensive how????

  • @Silversmoke1000
    @Silversmoke1000 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Allie, you are a lovely person and it is so refreshing to see someone take an honest look in the mirror, then take responsibility, and to do the hard work to correct your problem. Wishing you all the best going forward. Your future looks bright.

  • @oslav8
    @oslav8 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    We need more of these. So many women can relate! It’s so helpful! Thank you!

  • @mariaalekseeva478
    @mariaalekseeva478 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    As a teenager in the early '00, having big breasts and hormonal issues, being bullied, I struggled so much. I feel you.

  • @brendan722002
    @brendan722002 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    I grew up in the 80s and it was magazines, TV and movies contributing to eating disorders. Today is the 80s on steroids with social media.

  • @PennyFisher01
    @PennyFisher01 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Whether you received rehab treatment or not, your struggle, and the ED, it happened. That Imposter Syndrome is so real. You were ‘sick enough’ at the point that the disease started to ruin your life. Thank you so much for sharing. Sending love to all recovering x

  • @hex-girl
    @hex-girl 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    watching this interview made me feel so seen? i forget sometimes that people feel like this too, being around people who don’t understand this mindset and how dark it can get it’s hard make someone else see it how you do

  • @heatherdotson3556
    @heatherdotson3556 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Great to hear other people dealing with the same issues I’ve dealt with for years, in metro Detroit at that. Love this! All great facts❤️

  • @kristiking10
    @kristiking10 ปีที่แล้ว

    Love love love this interview as a mom of 2 daughters ages 23 and 26. BEST WISHES !

  • @amberadams2935
    @amberadams2935 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    I almst fell asleep towards the end but in the best of ways bc it was like listening to my positive affirmation videos at night ahahah I rlly appreciate all the beautiful things she believes!

  • @aamb454
    @aamb454 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Such a beautiful young lady. I’m so happy you were brave enough to talk about your story with us. The self love segment I found profoundly beautiful and extremely helpful for me in my personal life. I hope you can read these comments and know that you helped in some way.

  • @seltzermint5
    @seltzermint5 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    oh my gosh so wise for 28. I feel like I've only gotten to a similar level after 40. Wonderful, Allie!

  • @tammylee6141
    @tammylee6141 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I suffer from ptsd, anxiety & depression. I understand so much of what she is saying. Psychiatrist, therapist and meds cost a lot even with insurance. It also doesn’t help that you can’t really talk to many people about it because when they know, everything you do is now because of your mental issues. I feel like people use it against you and it just makes you more withdrawn. I even get shamed by pharmacists and I have never abused my medication. I’ve just learned to be alone except for my pets. It’s such a dark place and you can’t just choose to snap out of it.

    • @Contessa998
      @Contessa998 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Hi Tammy, I completely understand you. Let’s ask Mark to do a video on depression and recovery. God bless. I’m struggling right now with new medication due to job loss which is 10x harder with depression.

  • @angrychileh308
    @angrychileh308 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    SO RELATABLE . It really is a self love problem. ONLY RECENTLY after.....all my life have I started to silence the ....compulsive voices in my head about food , what I should eat and ....all the negativity that I tell myself . It's definitely a process. Stay strong grl.

    • @snacktivist
      @snacktivist 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Remember that it is not only a self image thing: anorexia nervosa is a genetic predisposition that is triggered by a caloric deficit. Stop the negativity, yes: stop that bullshit. But the real help comes with nutritional rehabilitation: you need to eat food to get well

  • @myeyeswentdeaf6213
    @myeyeswentdeaf6213 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Good Morning!👋😃From 6:00am Brooklyn NY 🇺🇸 to whatever time of day it is wherever in the world 🌎🌍YOU🫵are, my SWU fam.

    • @Gram72534
      @Gram72534 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      4:10am in colorful Colorado, have a great Monday my friend!

    • @Kellyirish75
      @Kellyirish75 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Hey Im In Brooklyn, NY🥰 Hey neighbor!!❤❤

    • @myeyeswentdeaf6213
      @myeyeswentdeaf6213 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @Gram #7 Wat up Gram! You too brother, enjoy your day.

    • @myeyeswentdeaf6213
      @myeyeswentdeaf6213 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @KellyNYC IrishGrl75 Hey Irish girl! Top ‘O’ the Morning To Ya. I’m an Irishman myself. ☘️ 😁👍

    • @Kellyirish75
      @Kellyirish75 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@myeyeswentdeaf6213 Eyy Irishmen from Brooklyn?? My frienddd!!!🤘🤘 Shifty enough outside for ya?🤣🍀🤣🍀

  • @Skumpakrig1984
    @Skumpakrig1984 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    So beautiful, both inside and outside.
    Focus and the self love will grow.
    Wish you all the best!

  • @damnimsolucky7
    @damnimsolucky7 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I’ve had an eating disorder all my life. I’m so glad you are doing well💖keep up the good work.

  • @kristenlambert2922
    @kristenlambert2922 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Never have I related to someone more. Same struggles sister. I’m recovering now but perfectionism ugh is hard.

  • @nikkiwhite1845
    @nikkiwhite1845 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I’m all about the body positivity and self love now. It’s been life changing. Thank you for this interview. ❤️❤️

  • @BobbieBeeAndCoffee
    @BobbieBeeAndCoffee 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    i come back today and see a bunch of horrible toxic comments at the start of this section... why? this is a helpful interview and it is informational and insightful. i have anorexia and for me personally i don't see myself being fully recovered ever, but i am healthier now because i am able to eat a normal amount. it is a mental illness, so most of the struggle IS internal and unseen. i am glad that allie is healed :). she gives hope to lots of sufferers out there. thank u mark.

  • @joanasantiago78
    @joanasantiago78 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    This interview made me smile and made me feel good. Thank you for sharing your story.

  • @valerietaylor1124
    @valerietaylor1124 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I had a severe eating disorder from trying to treat complex ptsd and never had flashbacks. Its works and 26 years later, I'm not dead!

  • @sallieannwestbrook9769
    @sallieannwestbrook9769 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I totally relate to the “high” that comes from starving yourself.

    • @snacktivist
      @snacktivist 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I hope you get help

  • @zactranten3235
    @zactranten3235 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Congratulations, Allie, on your accomplishments. You’re a beautiful and smart individual who definitely will accomplish amazing things in your life.

  • @thomasknighton6783
    @thomasknighton6783 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    First I think she is very beautiful and I had the same problem trying to make everyone happy and I do think that is why I started drugs to become numb and not think that I wasn’t good enough for my family. It took me 12 years to realize that I was good enough even though I didn’t get the feed back that I thought I should get . Your doing get keep looking forward and never look back. I hope you the best.

  • @marniekilbourne608
    @marniekilbourne608 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I live an hour north of Detroit and my college ex went to Western so I spent every other weekend there even though I went to SVSU. I have dealt with similar issues myself and still do sometimes. Thank you for sharing your story Allie.

  • @mariannerousseau693
    @mariannerousseau693 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    @Soft White Underbelly I really like those videos about eating disorder cause I feel that there is not alot of content out there that explain what a person with a eating disorder sufferer daily. I currently suffer from anorexia nervosa and I can relate in a certain way. So thanks for that. And if you want I could give a interview about mine. (just putting it out there) :) Have a good one and keep up your good work !

  • @mysticunicorn4332
    @mysticunicorn4332 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Carbs are not an essential nurtrient, you can survive without it. Im not sure what she was referencing when she said you can't live more than 12 weeks without carbs.

    • @shaylaster1607
      @shaylaster1607 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Yea- I thought the same thing

    • @panchita0476
      @panchita0476 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      She probably was on a very low carb diet which is more dangerous than a ketogenic diet. Your body doesn't get enough carbs to process but just enough to continue to rely on them. You're never in a ketogenic state which can be beneficial for certain individuals and you never have energy because your overall calorie intake is too low

    • @fleurmal7648
      @fleurmal7648 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Perhaps she is meaning that cutting out every carb (not just precessed food like bread/pasta) cuts out also fruits and vegetables which contain essential nutrients. Fiber is also a carb but is essential for gastrointestinal health. By cutting out all carbs, you may end up with other life threatening deficiencies. Nutrition and its effect on weight is so much more complex than "carb good, carb bad", she just kept it it short and to the point as the video is about eating disorder, not giving nutritional advice.

  • @clairechocolate12
    @clairechocolate12 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I‘m so glad I‘m bulimia free (almost one year) too… 🙏
    I relate a lot to you! ❤️

  • @jadedmonk7001
    @jadedmonk7001 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Wishing everyone a beautiful day wherever you're at and sending big love from Joshua Tree CA It's 3:05 am🌵💕

    • @Gram72534
      @Gram72534 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      GM, JM! Feel better! 4:09am in the mile high city! Have a good week!

    • @dayia6
      @dayia6 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Same to you ❤️

    • @myeyeswentdeaf6213
      @myeyeswentdeaf6213 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Jaded Monk Big Love ❤️ To Ya Monk! 6:20am in Brooklyn NY.

    • @wesleyAlan9179
      @wesleyAlan9179 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Jaded Monk! Hope you have a most fantabulous day!

    • @KimbradleyMasterGardener
      @KimbradleyMasterGardener 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Good Morning Monk

  • @msjsq1966
    @msjsq1966 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Heart wrenching. And so relatable in my life. Thank you Allie and Mark.

  • @kissmabass
    @kissmabass 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I have 5 yrs no purging eating disorders are not talked about by men a lot.

  • @chrismartin5166
    @chrismartin5166 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    You have it going on! Find your peace and know that God loves you, regardless of what box you’re in.

  • @margaretweeks880
    @margaretweeks880 ปีที่แล้ว

    Love her! My very favorite interview. So proud of you for sharing this very difficult story. You are beautiful and inspiring.

  • @FCWW87
    @FCWW87 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I have a daughter and I hope as she grows older she never feels compelled to look a certain way. Yes, the way you look matters. Studies show the more “put together” you are, the more successful in life you will be. HOWEVER, that doesn’t mean you need to look like a Barbie doll. It means you need to eat healthy, work out a bit, and love yourself enough to bathe and dress yourself appropriately. To young women, don’t think all men want the same body. They don’t! Just be healthy and love yourself.

  • @skipclone1
    @skipclone1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    'What are you afraid of?"
    'Being average"
    I suppose my answer would be more like, 'being destitute'.
    Still, every word Allie said from there is exactly what I would say.
    If we sat next to each other-well our differences would be obvious.
    I totally feel her struggle, wishing love and success.

    • @skipclone1
      @skipclone1 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

      ​@@inesfreire9135Well I can only offer my opinion but, are friends and family not worth fighting for? I'm sure I wouldn't be here to post this without the amazing people in my life. To be honest, it's made me reconsider my hobbies and other pursuits even though I've sometimes been paid to do them. I fight for and defend that which keeps me waking up for another day because that's the least I can do.

  • @SbjsksmNx
    @SbjsksmNx 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Thank you for doing an eating disorder episode!!

  • @StephenMcNeely1
    @StephenMcNeely1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Putting a new sign on my wall that reads “what can I learn from this” thanks mark and Allie!

  • @MISERABLE66
    @MISERABLE66 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This hit me.
    I was always the fat girl and got teased for it.
    I still struggle with my weight.
    I'm 43 yrs old and still hate my body.
    Especially after having children.
    I'm still chasing perfection, KNOWING I'll never achieve it. So I punish myself for it.
    I'm either binge eating or extreme no carb dieting with laxative abuse.
    It's exhausting.

  • @ChaoticCurlz
    @ChaoticCurlz 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Love her, Mark! Thanks for having her on.

  • @joelyons8238
    @joelyons8238 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thank you for sharing Allie. God bless you.

  • @TonySopranosBurner
    @TonySopranosBurner 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Eating disorders are completely fucked. I’ve got a hella addictive personality, I’ve been addicted to meth, had periods where I’d do any and everything, and been on and off sober for the last 7/8 years. Despite all the drugs and alcohol, my relationship with food has been the worst. Meth was hard to kick, the Xanax was hard as fuck. But food, food is the worst thing to try and control. Whether it’s binging or starving, it becomes a drug in of itself.

  • @jojobee42
    @jojobee42 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Gluten-free isn't the same thing is carb-free. There are plenty of gluten-free carbs too. She has that twisted. Glad Mark corrected her.
    But then again, no wonder she has it twisted - many eating disordered people hide behind special diets, like "gluten-free" or "vegan" etc. These people give a bad name to the special diets, because they're just hiding behind them and others think that's how those special diets are.

    • @phyllysanantonio
      @phyllysanantonio 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yes!!! They do make up stuff and devise crazy diet

  • @amymoehling9861
    @amymoehling9861 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you Allie for sharing your story!

  • @thematriarchy2075
    @thematriarchy2075 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf is a great book! And her book 'Vagina' is also a great one!
    Thank you very much for your interview ❤

    • @wesleyAlan9179
      @wesleyAlan9179 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      You're a beauty myth🤣🤣

  • @shellyjakes7065
    @shellyjakes7065 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Been there...in the 1970's. There was no help nor understanding of the disorder.

  • @kelly66666
    @kelly66666 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I am so grateful you shared this journey (and grateful to have entered your orbit. What a small world.) ♥️♥️♥️

  • @betsybabf748
    @betsybabf748 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Many parents divorce, or even wait to divorce, until kids are in mid-late teens or as young adults, but studies show that is the most damaging time, not better than when they're you. The reasoning does make sense. Right when they are discovering what relationships are and what love is, their whole foundation of knowing it is shattered. Of course that would be confusing and cause a child to have a need for control or escape. At any age, if parents jump to another partner after a split, it is most damaging with the longest-lasting effects, even affecting child's own adult relationships. They need time to adjust to new normal of change of family dynamic for awhile before a new person is shoved in their lives, but many adults just drag their kids as they relationship hop.

  • @amyholcomb6303
    @amyholcomb6303 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I so so appreciate this video 🎉 I’m not sure I can really put into proper words how much I appreciate your vulnerability and willingness to share your story❤

  • @jennynicholaclausen70
    @jennynicholaclausen70 ปีที่แล้ว

    I am 35 years old. A recovered anorexic. I relate to everything, to the body image issues, laxitive use, being hard on myself. My disease almost killed me in high school. at 5'8 i was 68 pounds at my lowest the only reason i got minimal help was when the school interviened because i kept collapsing at xcountry practice and at meets. It was recommended i be hospitalized but my family thought it was bs and i was admitted to outpatient since my parents refused to admit me. in hindsight i was a shame to the family. My sister has told me no one was to talk about my eating disorder. For me it was fueled by perfection. I wanted to be perfect with things i could control. I could not control the chaos at home but i could be the thin girl. I also dod not want to look like my overweight emotionally abusive mother. i still struggle with that fear today especially as i get older. I still am so hard with my body image. Still restrict but eat more freely. To me anorexia is a lifelong battle especially when it was not treated early.