ObGyn Reacts: LABOR or Bladder Infection?! | Didn't Know I Was Pregnant
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 มิ.ย. 2022
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Board Certified Ob/Gyn physician Mama Doctor Jones reviews an episode of TLC's "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" while teaching and commenting on the show. She drove herself to the hospital in labor thinking it was a bladder infection!? HOW!?
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Fun story, I used to watch your „didn‘t know I was pregnant“ videos in my 3rd pregnancy and I didn‘t make it to the hospital to deliver my baby… she came in the car 🫣 It was only me and my husband but I didn‘t panic because I‘ve learned from your videos that it‘s only important to keep the baby warm and get help and that‘s exactly what we did! She is a healty 8 months old Babygirl now.
💗💗💗 I love this!
Oh my gosh - I love this 😆♥️ congrats!!
@@MamaDoctorJones thank you! And also thank you for the education 😉
@@shawnnamitchell8618 thanks
Currently 29 weeks with my third pregnancy, we JUST made it to the hospital with our second. I'm a tad worried this is going to happen too🤣
I am at the 7:25 mark and let me just say as a PSA, PLEASE KEEP YOUR GAS TANK AT LEAST AT HALF FULL. You never know when you might need to evacuate your home. At 8am in 2018 we had to rush to evacuate our home in the Camp Fire in Paradise, California. Luckily my husband never lets the gas tank get too low. We were stuck in traffic getting out of the fire for just over 2 hours. We had to have the a/c circulating the air inside the car which uses up extra gas. Trust me, you do not want to be stuck without a car in an emergency. Thank you.
Very good advice.. Why was with different people when I was growing up when they ran out of gas as a teenager.. And I never wanted to go through that again. If I get below half a tank I'm panicking. I have to get gas. The same feeling, That people get when the gas light comes out in there like oh I have 25 miles I can drive No I can't do that.
I had to evacuate the Carr fire that same year and the most terrifying thing was needing gas, passing 3 stations that had run out and then pulling into a LONG line at the 4th and watching as people filled their vehicles and tons of additional gas cans and just hoping there would still be gas when our turn came.
(Also if you need to evacuate don’t horde all the gas, just take enough to get you to a further away station)
Completely agree.. Even if no emergencies happen, the peace of mind is worth it.
@@InevitableSecrets I had to evacuate that year from the Woolsey fire, twice. To my sister's home, then evacuated from there, also. I hope 2018 won't be repeated.
Yes! I was caught in an ice storm that made my usual commute of 25 minutes last just over 3 hours.
When I was 8 month pregnant in May of 2020 our car was beeping for low fuel as we were driving up to our house. I told my husband that we should go to the gas station down the street now but he said no. He would fill up in the morning when we goes to get breakfast.
At 2am my waters broke and we had to try and find a gas station that was open in the middle of the night. Don't let your car get to that point folks. Fill up
And if you have an EV, keep it on a reasonable amount of charge.
@@Luubelaar just plug it in when you get home. Always
My mom warned me about not falling in love with the baby right away with my first. She took me aside and was like, 'We need to talk about what's normal, and sometimes you have to fall in love with your baby, it doesn't just happen." She then told me it took her about six weeks to really start feeling that love with her third child. I'm glad she had that talk with me, because I didn't feel that love with my second one right away. I love him, of course, he was and IS my baby. I just didn't have that instant starry-eyed feeling. Glad you brought that up, not everyone has a mom like I had who would confide that.
My mom did the same thing!! So helpful because I definitely needed time to bond with my first.
I’m happy I came across your comment!!! Now I will talk to my daughter about it! I fell in love, not deeply for a few days tho.
My grandma and mom always laugh about how when she (my mom)was born my grandmother cried because "my baby was so ugly" 🤣 my guess is a fairly traumatic pregnancy combined with hormones and being only 16 at the time made my grandmother not feel the instant love everyone told she would feel. Luckily, they love each other now and every grandbaby/great-grand baby is the most beautiful child she has ever seen.
I love hearing about this kind of honesty, and that it’s not some magical thing. Unrealistic expectations on top of the stress of a new baby? Doesn’t help anyone!
I know a woman who got pregnant in her early 40s after never wanting children, and she was surrounded with people who insisted that all her maternal instincts would kick in and she would be madly in love with that baby the second she saw him. I kept thinking that was dangerous to tell her that and foolish for her to believe it… I’m not a mom and never wanted to be one so I can’t imagine a lifetime of being sure I wasn’t meant to be a parent just going poof. She had that baby and absolutely nothing kicked in. She did just enough to keep him alive, because she had no interest at all in raising a child. The story only gets worse from there. 😢
Even though It took 8 years and 4 rounds of IVF to have my daughter, I didn't have that instant starry eyed love feeling. It didn't help that she was an emergency c-section and I didn't meet her until the next morning as she was in the neonatal ward and they wouldn't let me move off my bed to see her. I held her for the first time in the early hours of the morning, feeling dizzy, hot and nauseous (complicated surgery with a lot of blood loss), and I even though I knew she was my baby (only full term in the ward), I didn't feel that much, but later on that day, when I was feeling better and could spend more time with her, the love grew quickly. No one told me this could happen so I was quite surprised about it. By the time she was with me on the ward and once we were home I felt that connection and love. Sometimes it just takes a bit of time to adjust and get your head around it all, even when you knew you were having that baby
I wanna toss out that I had 2 babies and then I had a bladder infection and I absolutely compared it to labor that was the closest thing I could compare it to.
I had a kidney stone a few weeks after my 3rd and that pain was just as bad as labor if not worse
I totally read that as "I wanna toss out 2 babies" I need to turn my phone off and sleep.
@@hannah.lindseyy to be perfectly honest when the notifications popped up on my phone that is also how I read it and I'm the one who wrote it lol my poor grammar is throwing myself off
I don't have a uti or anything, but this comment has me considering running to the store for some cranberry juice and yogurt and about 1am, lol
@@SHARKAST1C Hey, just stay hydrated, pee when you need to, pee immediately after sex (advise I got from my OB/GYN decades ago and have seen repeated for others since) and your odds will be better. Also, I don’t think yogurt has any effect and I’ve heard it both ways on cranberry juice but since that keeps you hydrated, it’s helpful.
I had kidney stones which were painful but nowhere as bad as labor (just lucky I guess) but they were followed by a kidney infection that hurt so bad I thought I needed surgery and was howling by the time they took me into the ER. Imagine my shock (and a bit of embarrassment) when they injected me with antibiotics and gave me a prescription. Also my relief! And yeah, that compared to labor, I later found out. Except for the ready ability to stop the pain. The hospital wouldn’t give me medication when I had my first labor or in recovery for various reasons that included incompetence, but I don’t wanna get into that.
Woman: “Mom I need to go to the hospital!”
Mom: “Okay fine but you’re driving and also I’m not filling up at the pump, that’s on you…”
Woman: “my water broke!”
Mom: “I still ain’t driving.”
That isn't what happened, she said her mom can't see that well at night.
she said her mum couldn’t see well at night, and tbh mixing a car crash into that situation probably wouldn’t have been great
@@RedRoseSeptember22 Red Rose, meet jokes. Jokes, meet Red Rose :) .
You are right about the driving. She could have pumped the gas though and didn't.
Her dad should have driven, and her mom stay home with the kid.
Exactly what I was thinking! I'm wondering why the mother accompanied her at all when she can't drive at night, just so that someone else is in the car that doesn't even pump the gas? 😅 Even without knowing that there's a baby on the way, someone that has severe pain shouldn't be driving themselves if there is any other way to do it. Why didn't Dad drive her and Mom stayed home with her first child?
I drove myself to the ER while having a gallbladder attack, I would have called an ambulance but I had to take one a few weeks earlier (for the same reason) and it was over $600 AFTER my insurance. I can totally see why she drove herself to the hospital and why most folks would probably do the same in the US
This is the reason why i'm so glad to live in a country where we have public healthcare - if you're sick, you will get almost everything you need for free. So you don't have to decide between your health or bankruptcy. And I'm very willingly paying that little bit more taxes for it. - I hope you got through it fine and recovered well anyway!
@@BeDreamingTo it was a few years ago, I'm happily gallbladder free now lol! I wish things where different here in the US with our healthcare, its such a dumpster fire
I don't understand why USA doesn't have their own version of NHS.
@@BethGoth15 capitalism...
I drove myself several times with undiagnosed gallbladder attacks after an ambulance ride too. My insurance covered it but I couldn't stand having to coordinate my husband giving me a ride in the middle of the night with our two babies.
The Mom being like "Ohh your water broke, just keep driving you will get through this its fine." Is so classic last gen mom 🤣 Like just struggle harder you will love yourself more 😌
Had a high school bio teacher say to the class “you can only have a c-section after a previous c-section”. I chimed in “oh my mum had me as a VBAC” and he told me I was wrong.
Went home and asked my mum and she said “nope had a vaginal birth with you following my c-section”. Went back to the teacher and he was still hesitant to believe that my mum didn’t somehow mix up her births, but chalked it up to an anomaly. This was in 2014, so he easily could have googled it, but no he knew his facts.
Ugh. Men. 🥴
@@Kriistall7 I saw him years later though a couple months after he had his first kid, and I did think “man I hope in all the reading he did prior to this birth he’s learned you can have a VBAC”.
I had a VBAC with my second baby. So annoying when people who think they know everything about a subject but really don’t, won’t listen to or believe the experiences of anyone else!
I’m the youngest of 6 and my mom had my oldest brother vaginally and then had a C-section with our brother, sister, and the twins, then had a vaginal birth with me. I was born in 1991 so that’s not very new lol.
My mother in law had her first in 1978, a C-Section on a military base. Literally a year and a day later (1979) had her second by VBAC at the same hospital. I think that because the incisions used to always be vertical is why the "no VBAC" rule came about but at some point doctors learned that a horizontal incision was better.
Oh man, I bet the vision problems during pregnancy was another factor that led to doctors not diagnosing the cyst in my sister in law’s brain… almost a year before she got pregnant she went to the ER for dizzy spells and double vision and they did an MRI but never really looked at it because once the doctor came in and saw she was chubby, he said it was “obviously” diabetes (which she NEVER HAD, it turned out, and diabetes doesn’t cause dizziness and double vision anyway) and told her to cut carbs and lose weight. When the baby was about six months old my SIL was back in the ER because she was having seizures and they finally saw the cyst… and when my BIL asked them about the prior MRI and they looked at it, it had been there the whole time.
The kid is seven now and I’m still furious at that doctor who blew her off with that BS diabetes diagnosis!
My great-grandmother was diagnosed with diabetes incorrectly, too. The doctors couldn't imagine that she could have a heart problem, because she'd given birth three times.
She was missing a chamber, and due to unnecessary amputations (due to "diabetes") she died when my grandmother was three.
No one in my family thinks kindly of the doctors who so completely failed her.
My previous doctor said "hey you have a fallopian tube baby. You'll need to go to emergency to have that dealt with. Drive yourself." I was an hour from home in crazy amounts of pain. I drove myself to emergency an hour away to find out she was wrong. Rainbow baby is here & healthy. I didn't want to drive but they said it was fine 🙄 They did this to me with my appendectomy too. "Drive yourself". Ridiculous.
Yes, that's ridiculously. Anytime like this or heart attack, if you are in an ambulance the EMTs are there to help right away. That's much better than having your FIL deliver a baby a few blocks from the hospital.
🤯 That is terrifying.
UM what kind of doctors are these?!? I went to urgent care with a broken ankle recently and when they found out I would need surgery because I basically shattered a little bone in my ankle into many pieces they were like, you should go in an ambulance, and I was like um what no
Well, congrats on your rainbow baby! I also drove myself to the ER with an ectopic pregnancy, though I thought it was just a kidney infection and I wasn't in a ton of pain at the time. Absolutely ridiculous that your doctor told you to drive yourself! If I knew what I know now, I definitely wouldn't have driven myself!
@@littlemissmel88 thank you! Yeah, knowing now what I went through, I would never want someone to drive in those conditions.
It's awesome that her and her mom figured out it was labor. No matter how much pain you are in, it's a comfort to know what is causing it... I would have just been like this bladder infection made me pee my pants 💁🏻♀️
Exactly what I was thinking too
If she had been alone, I'm sure it wouldn't have crossed her mind that she was actually in labor
The fact that she's had a baby before probably has a big effect too. I can tell you from experience that once you've been through labor, you're much more likely to know it if you experience it again
Once I had acute bladder infection, that went so rapid that I didn't figured out for sure what's going on. Pain was so severe that I rushed to the ER panicking and I was thinking that either I am dying or there is something with my uterus, the contractions were really strong. So now I believe you can mistake labor for UTI :D
Those bladder spasms are NO JOKE!
I had a UTI as a kid, and it was way longer and more painful than my personal labor since I had an epidural. And I threw up twice from pain before I got it. 😫
Yeah I've had a number of UTIs and they suck!!!
When I went into labor with my little boy, I had “leg labor”. It was awful! But for the first day/night, I thought it was a UTI or dehydration (because that’s what a local hospital said). But when I finally went to the hospital where I was delivering, they said I was in labor. It was very confusing. It was all in my legs (thighs, specifically) till the contractions got bad. I always had leg pain during periods or UTIs, or the bladder infection I had once with Kidney Stones. So yea, I agree. It’s crazy pain! And who knew you could have leg labor!?! I sure didn’t!
@@stefani.m.1987 UGH LEG LABOUR is the worst, I can absolutely see how it would be confusing. I was induced and thought that it wasn't working but that my legs were cramping for no reason until my thighs were really screaming and the nurse told me about the joys of leg labour hahaha. I'm glad you were okay and that it wasn't a uti
light name suggestion - Emma (Em) Brio
Bruh I love this
I had to decide on weather or not I was going to have a major surgery for my rare disorder "TOS" and I just thought to myself "You do the best that you can with the information you have."
Thank you for that. 💕
Honestly it’s such a good mantra for lots of things in life, I regularly think about MDJ saying it when I’m worried about making the best choice in lots of areas in my life!
i often feel guilty about "letting" depression ruined my life and some of my best relationships and that mantra made my cry the first time i heard it. it's so meaningful and i'm grateful i heard that
I'm honestly struggling right now with the decision to have a hysterectomy (massive fibroids), because I have a connective tissue disorder, never had surgery, and have no idea how my body will respond. I know something needs to be done, but I'm scared of all the possible complete. I need to do the best I can with the information that I have :)
I love how you always say "Aotearoa New Zealand" to describe your new home... 😍😍😍 thank you for honouring our bicultural heritage. 👏👏👏💐👍👍
Oh that’s cool, I just assumed it was the city or metro area
I didn't even know she moved here until that moment :) I was surprised and happy to hear it
Yes Kia Ora, you are so welcome here. As a specialist doctor and as a youtuber who spreads quality reproductive information.
@@wordzmyth I am curious about what she does here. The role of a gynaecologist in America is very different from here. It would be interesting to know more
“Baby J” for “justice” as you’re so eloquently educating people on reproductive rights, health and equality
I love this name
And for Jones too! Love it!
BABY J YESSSS
Love this! ❤️
i second this!
Thank you for pointing out some people need time to bond to their child because I really had a hard time when my son was born. I had been struggling to get pregnant for years so I was over the moon happy to have him but he really didn't look like me for the first 6 months or so, or at least from what I could tell and for some reason that was something I got really hung up on. I just couldn't believe he looked nothing like me, I had even let his father name him, etc, so this baby I wanted so badly didn't feel like he was actually mine. He's 9 months now, looks just like me with his dad's coloring and he's my best friend, but that first 3 months especially were hard to bond with him. Ofc I probably had post partum depression as I have mental health struggles anyway but I felt like there was something wrong with me because no one I talked to related with my experience. So you pointing out that it can take time in an earlier video saved me because I hated myself for feeling that way. So thank you.
i feel you. My son is 4 weeks now and i am still struggling, it is better than it was at the start but the baby blues hit me really hard, i couldnt physically do much right away felt incapable and he felt like a massive burden that will never like me because i failed to respond to him directly and the father did most of the work. I felt like the worst mum in the world for feeling like that and that made it worse. It takes us time to get to know each other and it is slowly improving i am beginning to like him and he looks happy too!
@@martinadefonthana2945 hey, hang in there! Postpartum can be super hard and terrifying! For me, it felt like I got hit by a bus, even though before birth I thought I was well prepared. But I found that everything got continiously better and easier in time. Sending you love!
I had a hard time bonding with my son too. Just hang in there and fake it till you make it. I have since learned it happens with animals like sheep too, that’s why they need to be in a little enclosed area to encourage bonding for several days.
It’s nothing to hate yourself for at all. I think people don’t fully wrap their head around the fact that when you have a child that’s a whole new person, a stranger, who is now your family and you’re responsible for them. It’s kind of wild when you think about it and it makes sense to need to get to know them and bond.
I hear you! I had an unpleasant pregnancy. Lots of minor issues. Nobody's life was in danger but it was lots of "not fun". And then he was a non-sleeper. Fought sleep like his very life depended on it.
From the beginning, I would have thrown myself in front of a bus to save my son, without hesitation. I really didn't feel that lovey-dovey thing until he was about 4 years old.
And it's all fine now. He's 18. We both survived and have a good relationship.
"Her bladder infection had a heartbeat" made me lol. The thing that worried me about her driving in that level of pain is it's possible to pass out from pain.
For my second baby, we couldn't afford health insurance because my husband was self employed. 5 weeks ago, I woke up in the middle of the night with contractions and my husband started driving us to the hospital. It was an hour away but 10-15 mins into the drive, we had to pull over into a parking lot because baby boys head was coming out.. yup, my son was born in a ram 3500 pickup lol
MDJ have you ever thought of interviewing viewers about their birth stories? This comment made me think it would be so interesting!
Well as awful and American as that is, on the bright side at least you saved on a potentially higher hospital bill…? Hope all is well with you and your family now.
@@RachelMaryB Yes and no. There were 2 bystanders who called and ambulance and I had to ride in the back of one. So that's going to be pricey lol. I was so scared that something was going to go wrong or he was going to get cold that I didn't get that glowy feeling. It was all stress and worry
It always surprises me how for all their pride in their medical infrastructure, Americans have to struggle so much for even just the most basic medical services that are state-carried in so many countries with ‘worse’ healthcare infrastructure
Safer than the hospital anyway
Wow, that neon fetus is amazing! I'm trying to think of a name that would be a crossover between pregnancy and a night club, but this could take a while 😂
They said “she had a c-section last time, prep her for one now!” And I was confused! Glad to hear that’s not a hard fact. I’m the eldest of 4, and although there were never any major complications with our births, I was born through c-section, and my 3 siblings were all natural births. In my family, we lovingly refer to me as the tumor baby, because I had to be removed. (I started it myself, so no hard feelings! Thought it was funny)
I wonder if it was because they didn’t know much of anything about baby and it could be just to make sure the OR is ready if needed. The OR takes lots of moving parts.
My little sister was born via C-section, and my mama always referred to my sister as her little cut-out cookie. Myself, I've had 3 kids, and ALL via C-section, and, since my mama started it(altho she's been gone since 2006 and I didn't have my 1st kid until 2012), I refer to my own kids as my cut-out cookies.
I'm second of 14. My mother's third birth (twins 9 weeks early) was an emergency C-section. All the rest (10!) were natural births, most at home, all safe.
"you do the best you can with the information you have" has actually gotten me through the past month of guilt after having to say goodbye to my fur baby of 17 years. I took him to the vet so many times, and always did what I thought was right for him, but sadly it turned out he possibly had cancer and I didn't even know until the day he got real sick. I kept wracking my brain for all the things I should have done differently. I know that wasn't your intention for your words to apply to that situation, but they did, and it helped me immensely.
💔💖💗
Your pet was a cat, wasn't it? They usually don't like to show weakness, even to those closest to them. My cats are just like that, too. They only show something is wrong, if they are at death's door. That stupid instinct almost cost me one of their lives on three or four occasions.
17 years is a ripe old age. I'm sure you gave them a wonderful, fulfilled life and did everything you could.
Don't blame yourself, even though it's hard.
@@JuMiKu he was a sweet Jack Russell and I miss him dearly. Everyone always said how good and healthy he looked, including the vet. Until the day that he unfortunately didn't ...
@@Absbabs88 Then you must have taken incredibly good care of him. 17 is very old even for a small dog.
And dogs usually show pain. He likely just didn't feel it. Not all cancers are painful.
If so, maybe it was best this way. You didn't have to make a tough choice whether to start your old friend on treatment, which could cut into his lifespan further and negatively effect his quality of life. This way you two could just live together happily, almost until the end. Isn't that what anyone wishes for?
Hahahahaha I was a surrogate mom in 2018. I started having regular 5 minute contractions and I lived 5 minutes from the hospital so I drove myself in. While I was there the contractions were down under 3 minutes and PAINFUUULLL but the doctor insisted on sending me home because I supposedly wasn’t dilating. I drive home swearing a blue streak. I wasn’t home an hour when POP my water breaks and I had to drive myself back, sitting on 3 towels again swearing a blue streak, 100% in regard to that random OB who dismissed me like I had no idea what was going on with my own body. It was my 3rd birth. I knew the difference between Braxton hicks and actual active labor by then!!! 😂
Same here and you are right we know the difference shame on those doctors
Normally Mt period starts at the same time as your videos appear in my TH-cam feed, but not today. Hubby and I are trying to conceive, so maybe we succeeded this time around, wish me luck! Love your videos, learn so much every time!
And as Dr MamaDoctorJones says "Take a pregnancy test". Good luck. 🥰
Good luck 🤞
@@westzed23 I did, negative this morning, but still no period. 2 days late so far and I'm usually very regular
Sending pixie dust your way.
Good luck!!
I think its so good that you always remind people that it is okay for that bond with your baby to form later on. I had birth injuries and PTSD symptoms after my delivery Mental anguish, psychological trauma and physical therapy took up most of my emotional bandwidth. It took forever to form an emotional bond. People would always comment or ask about the "rush of love" you feel when you hold your baby for the first time and I would just lie and pretend that that was a thing that happened to avoid judgment.
I felt nothing other than tired and that I wanted her off of me because she was still covered in icky substances. You get there in the end, and if you don’t you need to talk to your doctor and/or a therapist to see if depression might be a part of it
I'm SO glad you thought 'six cups' was weird, too! Immediately when they said that I had a mental image of a baby surrounded by practically a tea set.
It is this super-weird American TV-thing where they feel the need to make things "easier" to grasp. They basically think the audience is too stupid to easily comprehend how much 1 l is.
This is why you will hear talk of cups, several football-fields, weight of cows or some such as nonsense for comparison instead.
I don't know if Americans truly have trouble with these things, but I am kind of doubtful.
Well since Americans don't measure things in milliliters, it wouldn't make sense to say how many milliliters because most of us can't picture how much that is. We all know how much 6 cups of water would be. They describe it that way so the audience can actually visualize the amount.
I have zero concept of how much the measurements in mls is but I definitely know how much 2 cups is
It just occurred to me that I use "you do the best you can with the information that you have" in my work, and that I picked it up from MDJ. I'm a dog trainer and it's still applicable.
I manage a team of advertising writers, and I use that phrase with them ALL. THE. TIME. #WordsToLiveBy
Love the fetus light
Me too, it's amazing!
"Her energy is low, but her Christmas spirit is high" haha, what an awesome line.
When my triplets were born I wanted NOTHING to do with them at first, I knew I was pregnant and I didn't hate them or anything, I was just so exhausted from birth and the really awful pregnancy I had gone through and I spent most of my hospital time sleeping and trying to heal while my boyfriend took care of them. We're both very happy fathers now and by the time we were leaving the hospital I was totally in love with the three of them, it perfectly normal to not feel that connection at first. They're 6months now and they mean everything to me and the other father in the picture.
How long did it take to bond? Did you find you connecting with them all during the similar time or was it more one on one time?
I've had 3 kids now and I have yet to feel an immediate overwhelming love for any of them. I absolutely hated when anyone would ask "did you ever think you could love something so much? " and all I could think is, I have loved my pets as much as I love this kid so idk what feelings you're talking about. I have also never been obsessed with how kids smell or really noticed them having a particular smell.
I drove myself to the hospital, with my third baby. Even being in labor, I felt I was a better driver than my ex. Only had to stop on the highway, for one contraction. Thank God for rural areas.
My first I felt the starry eyed love, my second it took a bit. I love her but it took a bit to get to that place. I felt like such a bad mom cause it didn’t happen immediately but I remembered your videos and I felt better. Thank you for being open and honest with your viewers
That's so great. See TH-cam, Dr MamaDoctorJones is educational!
Same for me. I didn't realize that I wouldn't feel quite the same about the new little baby as I did for my 2 year old who I had bonded with for 2 years. Of course I loved her but I was essentially was meeting a stranger.
I had to drive myself to the hospital after my water broke because my mom (who was my emergency person) had said she was going to see my little sister's violin concert and my backup person was not answering their phone. So I grabbed my go-bag and drove myself. Contractions were barely felt yet. So at least I had that going for me.
Got nerve pain while driving yesterday. Nearly got out of my lane three times before my wife removed me from the driver's seat and drove the rest of the way home. She still loves me, but is still pointing out I'm supposed to be Responsible Wife in our dynamic duo.
I have driven myself to the hospital when I thought I was having a heart attack. Better than $1,000 bill for an ambulance ride.
omggg this is the american health care system at its finest
My mom drove to the hospital while having a heart attack too. Same reason
She ended up getting two stints
Unfortunately, if you pass out, lose control or die while driving your car can injure/kill others. Or property damage. Ph a friend, call a cab, beg a neighbor but don't drive.
I did the same while having a major allergic reaction (throat swelling up and BP off the charts). And if I hadn't been relatively certain I could make it on my own, I'd have called a ride-share or a taxi before resorting to an ambulance.
All I can think is, these women have never had an "I soaked through a super tampon and a pad at the same time" period 😳
Right, like who mistakes a bit of spotting for an actual period??
I never would have mistake spotting for a period until after my third baby. My cycle hasn't been close to normal since and some periods are just spotting.
I had a significant amount of bleeding during my pregnancy. For a wek because I had a subchronic hemorrhage with my twins. I know I was pregnant but if I hadn’t I might have mistaken it
My cousin is really heavy and never had regular periods so about 14 years ago she was having abdominal pain. She thought it was her gall bladder again. The doctor ordered an ultrasound to check it out and the tech looked at the image and said "oh! So thats the problem. " She was approximately 32 weeks along.
I'd love to see a full video on pregnancy denial! Where is the baby hiding??
Also, I'd love a video on the procedure of a c-section!
it must've been VERY terrifying for the woman to be in THAT much pain and not know why she was in so much pain. i'm glad she's doing okay.
I have personally known people who didn't know they were pregnant until really late in their pregnancy or were actually in labour when they found out. I'd heard the "I thought I was dying" from many of these shows, and from some of the people I knew. Once I'd had my own kid, hell yeah, I can totally understand how you'd think you were dying.
@@Luubelaar yeah and I'm sure that must've been the worst feeling in the universe for them. hopefully they're doing a lot better nowadays.
I wanted to deliver my 2nd child naturally, my hospital wouldn’t allow me (we only have 1 hospital to use). They said it was hospital policy that is you had a C-section all future pregnancies must be delivered via C-section. I was devastated
That's messed up they wouldn't let you deliver naturally.
The same happened to my mother, but it was the 80’s. She has me via c-section even though she didn’t need nor want to, just because it was necessary for my older brother. She hated the c-section recovery and has some trauma from it still. I’m now 38 weeks with my first and she’s freaking out about the chance of me having a c-section. I feel for her.
For me the nearby hospitals won’t do VBACs as they don’t like to do it because of potential risks and I would have to travel to a hospital two hours away for appointments and for the birth.
I too was disappointed that I wouldn’t be doing a VBAC but I don’t want to risk my baby’s life and my own life to do a VBAC at this time.
Your story about driving yourself to the hospital during labor reminds me of a story about my dad, who is a family practice doctor. When I was really young, my dad started having really bad abdominal pain. It got so bad that he ended up going to one of his fellow doctors to get looked at. Keep in mind that he almost never goes to see a doctor if something's wrong.
My mom gets a call later that day, and he says in the most casual tone ever, "Hi, honey. I won't be home for dinner. I'm about to have my appendix removed. I love you. Bye."
Turns out he had appendicitis!
I had the starry eyed love with my first baby, but with my second it just wasn’t there. My dad had just died when I was 8 months pregnant, and I didn’t have the capacity to feel anything but grief. It took me a good 6 months to really start bonding with her, but it wasn’t until she was closer to a year old that I really felt that intense maternal bond. She’s 16 months now and we have a wonderful relationship, but I definitely still feel some guilt about how much I struggled to bond with her.
Try to remind yourself that you did nothing wrong and it's completely okay to develop a bond with your baby gradually, especially because you were grieving. Everyone is different and it wouldn't have negatively impacted your baby in any way. I know mom guilt is intense though. ❤
I'm with your husband lol. I always fill up when I get to a quarter of a tank of gas. But my sister, she used to run out of gas all the time lol
One time I thought my car was broken because it was making a loud grinding sound. Asked a friend who knew about cars to look at it for me... It was just out of gas. I will never live that down.
Your sister and I are kindred spirits.
@@LyannaDelore haha
I always fill up at half a tank. Where I live we have super cold and snowy winters. I was always taught that you should always make sure you have half a tank of warmth in case you get stuck. Even in the summer that habit still exists.
Pinky Jones should be his name 😂
Yes!!
I know you didn’t experience this, but I think it would be good to let women know about the possibility of what I think may be separation anxiety of sorts after giving birth.
When I had my first, I had a very fast hard labour (5 contractions, only 2 of which were in the delivery room) and my doctor commented that it was the first time she had ever seen a baby go from crowning to fully born in one contraction. But it tore me from pillar to post and I had a total of 105 stitches through 4 layers of tissue. On top of that, I found out that I don’t take freezing well when I had to have 4 shots before it finally “took”, so every time she inserted the needle for a stitch my legs would stiffen and I was practically jumping off of the bed.
All of this, coupled with the fact that kangaroo care wasn’t heard of back in 1989, meant that I didn’t get to hold my baby.
Since the stitching took over 2 hours because of all of the times the doctor had to stop and wait for another shot of freezing to “take” and the fact that it was 105 stitches, it was now after 1 am so they just took me straight to my room and my daughter had been taken to the nursery an hour earlier, with me still never holding her yet.
Anyway, I felt a aching longing in my heart and couldn’t sleep. Finally, after an hour of tossing and turning despite being exhausted, I buzzed the nurse and asked for my baby. They brought her in and I held her for 10 minutes before they took her back to the nursery. I was asleep before the nurse was out the door with her.
While I know kangaroo care is normal today, I am sure there are new mothers who may not have the chance to hold their newborns for various reasons. I think it would be a good idea to warn them about the possibility of this type of anxiety
I think I'd call that instincts. I also have very fast labors not 5 contractions fast but crowning to fully born in 1 contraction 3 times for sure. I lucked out and only needed like 4 stitches with the first then nothing with the second and a little glue with the 3rd but I also felt that way. Right after all three were born no one was taking them from me and I didn't even have a very good connection with the oldest. I was legitimately thinking about putting him up for adoption but when I imagined calling the nurse and them coming in to take him I lost my mind and was just like OK that decides that.
Most of my friends were all like that after having their babies. Only one wasn't able to hold her baby and it was because she had a csection and she had a reaction to her meds and the baby was having issues so the baby went to nicu and my friend stayed with her dr. They are both well now and she got to hold her baby the next day I believe.
"your bladder infection had a heartbeat"
I made the weirdest laugh when you said that 😂
I drove myself to the hospital while having a gallbladder attack. It was the middle of the night and I didn't want to bother anyone. An ambulance seemed excessive. Looking back, that wasn't my best life decision 😂
I may not have had a baby but I've had a few bladder infections so if she thought labour was similar my decision to not have kids is strengthened. But driving with that kind of pain sound like agony and the fact she got in the car solo gets big respect off me I'd be too scared to drive in that much pain.
Yeah dude it is extremely painful, I don't blame you
Is that an aroace flag in your pfp? Nice
At least after the discomfort you end up a baby. Uou get nothing for a bladder infection!
I swear every time you release one of these videos I take a pregnancy test. With my IUD I don't get a period anymore. There are a surprising number of normal bodily fluctuations that are also pregnancy symptoms.
It took me several months to really bond with my son. He cried so much, and he was born right when the pandemic started so everyone was afraid to visit or help me figure things out. I love him now but it can be a struggle that more people need to talk about. Thank you for adding your experience to the video.
I appreciate you sharing. For me it took time too; at first I had felt shocked that 21 inches of child had fit inside my womb. It was months later while I was taking a sleep deprived shower, that I surprised myself by thinking "silly Mommy" and then I felt happy for thinking of myself as a Mommy finally for the first time!
That must have been so hard. Thank for sharing, and wish you well.
@@CLee288 I wish Jen well too! Yes, my cousin and her husband had my Aunt to help them, but if there had not been the pandemic, they were likely to have had more folks available for in-person support during the pregnancy and infancy as they became parents! Luckily things are better now in general for new Moms too.
No bonding biochemicals during labor means no bond, unfortunately
I had to remind myself when you said one of the instruments is called a "bladder blade" that "blades" don't have to cut. Sent shivers down my spine, haha. You said yourself it's used to push the bladder out of the way. Snow plow attachments are sometimes referred to as blades, and all they do is push snow around. Same deal but medical and doesn't cause a cool pile of snow palace materials.
Kia Ora y’all! I’m actually a Texan Kiwi too. I considered messaging you when you said you were moving here, but decided it’d be too weird. 😆
Had to chime in now though as I totally agree about the lack of good boxed Mac n Cheese! Funnily enough my fav here is a vegan gluten-free one, and I’m totally not either of those… Plantasy Foods, a bit weird with the coconut milk powder and yeast flakes, no substitute for Annie’s, my old go-to, which my mom sends me every so often, but not bad.😁
If you’re ever up in Christchurch, let me know as it’s rare I’m in Dunedin, which I believe is your home now.
Or not. I’ll keep watching regardless. 😊
Regarding the cups thing - in informed consents for clinical trials in the US we have to explain the amount of blood we plan to collect at visits in teaspoons and tablespoons in addition to providing the amount in milliliters. It's really a gross mental visual.
First time pregnant and I’m at 8 months. I just want to say thank you for explaining that eye problems are normal during pregnancy 😂 I was freaking out thinking all things like preeclampsia or insanity because is hallucinate things skittering in the corner of my eye🤦🏻♀️ thought maybe stress. I just want to say that so many weird things happen in pregnancy and not a lot of people talk about it, thank you again
The ones that always make me go HUH! the most are the episodes like this where the person giving birth has already been through pregnancy before but is so in belief of their lack of pregnancy that the symptoms never cross their mind. So interesting the power of the mind.
Each pregnancy can be very very different, different symptoms, different weight gains, different aversions/cravings, feeling /not feeling baby move, etc.
It took me a while to fall in love with my children postbirth, despite knowing I was pregnant the entire time (IVF). DH, on the other hand, fell in love at approximately 2 seconds after fertilization.
Yeah, getting to the hospital was a fun idea. Fortunately, I had several volunteers for various dates & times. The only thing worse than me driving while in labor would be my (congenitally blind) husband driving.
During high school, I rode the bus with the girl next door. No one noticed any weight gain, except a little facial puffiness, typical of teens losing baby fat, and having some water retention. I saw her every day. Then one day she came home after an unexplained disappearance, and she had a baby. My hand to the heavens, I tell you true.
These TLC stories (assuming they are verified and not fabricated) always amaze me. I was able to maintain (unconsciously of course) this state of obliviousness for about 3 1/2 months or so before I ended up at my gynecologist's office for a definitive diagnosis. I am good at procrastination and denial, but these women amaze me.
At 28 weeks, I had polyhydramnios (excessive amniotic fluid) and I had to have about 2 liters drained from my uterus. I was literally as big as I would have been at 40 weeks. I was having full-on contractions, which prompted me to go to the hospital. It was idiopathic too, meaning there was no reason the doctors could find as to why i accumulated that much fluid. Thankfully everything was fine, i had to be monitored once a week, but I got 3D ultrasound pictures every week which was so great!!
Omg he's so cute! I want another.
I loved my daughter but I didn't cry when she was born..I didn't until the next morning..I couldn't stop staring at her. I hate to admit it she looked weird when she was first born 😂.
So funny story about my birth. I was my mom's first baby. She was moving furniture into the nursery, heavy hardwood furniture that was hand crafted by my uncle and he was helping her carry it in. Her water broke and she insisted on moving the rest of the furniture in before going to the hospital, then insisted on driving herself to the hospital, my dad was in the passenger seat. (He didn't help them with the furniture.) She got out and walked in while my dad parked the car. No one believed her when she said she was in labor because she wasn't screaming or in pain or anything. It took her 30 minutes to convince a nurse to check and the nurse was appalled that my mom was already fully dilated. She called my mom's doctor to come help with the delivery and this was the night before new years eve so he was at a family dinner. Long story short he didn't even have time to change into scrubs, he walked in just in time to baseball slide across the room to catch me as I launched out. I got fluids on all 4 walls, the ceiling, and the floor and everyone in the room and almost fell on my head halfway across the room.
I use “you do the best you can with the information you had” for so many life situations. We are all constantly learning and growing from mistakes. It’s one of the beautiful facts of life.
I love that this episode is seeming like such a callout to MDJ 😂 It's like she just got an intervention
I'm pretty sure the bit with MDJ talking about her own pregnancy wasn't in the episode, she added that
She did learn her lesson. Do NOT drive yourself alone when having a baby.
@@Jadyn_Sage oh don’t worry, I knew that part! I just meant that this episode accidentally correlated with her experiences well, so it was like she had to self reflect on how irresponsible it was 😂
@@jui-imouto-chan Ah ok lol
Those clips where she was calling herself out are from a previous video. It's the one where she tells the birth story of her last? son.
Can we get a GoFundMe going to get MDJ her Cracker Barrel mac and cheese ?
I know someone who had a baby in an itallian sports car. Funny story too.. friends of my family. They were having their 5th baby another girl (all girls) and decided close to the due date that the old itallian Alfa Romeo wasn't getting much use anymore and should probably be sold. They decided to take it on one last spin. Low and behold the wife went into labor and they were on the highway. I guess after 4 pregnancies the 5th goes pretty fast. No time to pull over so the dad just kept going. They called the hospital and by the time they got there she was holding the baby wrapped in a blanket.both mom and baby were fine. What a great story to tell that kid when it's older about its birth.
My mom is a single mom (my father left us months before I was born) and my mom actually drove herself to the hospital. To be fair, she wasn't actually in labour yet when she drove to the hospital, she just decided to go there on the morning of my due date, and then that evening I was born.
Lol, i dropped an air conditioner on a set of hardware stairs directly on my left kneecap, shattering it into 5 pieces. Walked on it for three days after finishing taking it down another two flights of stairs thinking i just bruised it. Before i drove myself to the hospital after it took me 20 mins to put a shoe on. Needless to say, i had to get two friends to drive me, and my truck home. Sometimes being stubborn doesn't pay
my first son was emergency c-section. i was told with my other two that i HAD to have them via c-section because of the first one and that i would be in trouble if i tried to deliver normally because of the scar tissue from the c-section. i had zero choice in the matter. i was also told that i can only have one more c-section "safely" if i were to get pregnant again, before the scar tissue buildup would cause problems carrying future babies.
i've also had issues with the scar site, even 12 years after my last kid, where i will get sharp pains around the scar site and if i move wrong, it feels like i'm being torn in two....almost as if scarring from uterus attached to the muscle wall or something, or there was nerve damage done to the muscle itself.....it's not fun at all.
I would maybe check to see if you have a hernia. My mom had a hernia about 15 years after her last pregnancy. When she asked what she could've done to prevent it, the doctor said, "you can thank your three c-sections!"
But also, I don't really know much medically. I'm not a doctor or anything.
When I found out I was pregnant in 2017, I went to get an ultrasound to confirm it. No fetus on the monitor. I was scared, but waited the two weeks I was told to wait and went back. They found a baby, so I felt better. At 16 weeks, I went to the hospital for possible gallbladder issues and was taken for an ultrasound of my liver and gallbladder. The tech and I had been talking so much during the ultrasound and I told her about how excited I was to be having my second baby. She then says "I'm going to just check on the baby."
Her face dropped when she looked in my belly, and she said "Ma'am...do you know you're having twins?" I have NO CLUE. Needless to say, I freaked out. Ended up being induced at 38 weeks and had two perfectly healthy little boys ❤️
I recently found out that the last period I had before finding out I am pregnant couldn't have been a period (being nearly 14 weeks instead of 12) Having experienced it, I can understand why people think they are still getting their periods, especially if you are not regular
You should name the fetus light Roe in honor of Jane Roe from the Roe v Wade trail
The way your neon sign makes the fetus look like it's got headphones on, makes me feel like you should name it Jazz or Jazzy.
I found out I was pregnant through a routine eye exam. He asked if I pregnant in which I responded I didn't know but it was always a possibility. Tested the next day and I was. There's is a white ring that appears around your eye which is normally only detected with twins even though my wasnt.
I think the reason why one might drive themselves to the hospital in the US is because a)It is very car-centric and getting anywhere neccessitates using the road in most places. b)Ambulances are extortionate and people will go to great lengths to avoid paying out even more, especially if they are poor.
My partner and I simply walked to the hospital because it was only 15 minutes and she felt well enough, but had we needed, ambulances are free at the point of use in the UK, though she hates the idea of neighbours seeing her get in an ambulance, so she'd have rather we got a taxi (that is a third option, even if there were fluids involved and you had to pay the clean-up fee it'd STILL be cheaper than a US ambulance!)
Can I just say, your advice on testing and retesting since starting this series is massively helpful. I took a test and it was negative, but then I remember what you said and I retested a week later. If not for that advice I would've probably ended up like the people in this show
100% agree. I didn't test positive on any pregnancy test but felt pregnant. I had to have a blood test at 3 months to confirm. I also bled during the first three months so my body just didn't cooperate.
This particular episode just shows the danger of getting to the hospital if you can't afford an ambulance or taxi.
*Edit,spelled ambulance correctly
Did you mean ambulance?
This just blows my mind that people couldn't afford an ambulance. In so many countries, ambulance is covered by universal healthcare.
Holy cow is the healthcare system in the USA messed up.
In regards to the comments about periods vs blending related to pregnancy - and whether you would notice it wasn't regular...
I've never been regular, and I've had times back in my twenties where it would just skip several months in a row. So you can't always rely on the timing.
As far as measuring in cups... I'm a nurse in the dialysis world. Although the staff measures everything in kg or liters, patients always want to know what their weight is in pounds, or what their fluid restrictions are in cups or ounces. Love your content MDJ!!
Fluorescent Fergus the Foetus for your new sign
Love these episodes. Always makes me laugh because if it wasn’t for this channel it’s hard to tell how long it would have taken to find out. At 32 weeks my pregnancy is pretty obvious, and he’s a kicker, so definitely not until labour, but it could have been a few more weeks before I looked at my period tracker and went, “wait they’re all over the place, even for me that’s weird.”
you've made the phrase "we do the best we can with the information we have at the time" a key mantra in my life. It's helped me a lot in processing and overcoming my guilt over situations I know I could have handled better in hindsight, once I have a clearer picture of what was going on. In particular, I think of my late cat, who could have lived longer had I noticed the signs of her illness sooner, rather than when it was nearly acute. It was really hard to forgive myself over the guilt of that, but I just had to keep reminding myself that there wasn't anything I could have done since she was so good at hiding her pain beyond small actions that I'd later keep myself up thinking about. It's a positive change to how I think about my regrets, and it's been very helpful.
I’ve watched soo many of these videos that when I get bad period cramps I’m convinced I’m about to give birth without ever knowing I was pregnant
As someone who takes a pregnancy test if I'm 5 minutes late for my period, and if I even have a slight change in my body/health I'm immediately suspicious even if I just finished my period so I can never understand why some women don't think about the possibility of pregnancy in some of these situations
I know that not bonding immediately after thing all too well. With my first I was so drugged up and out of it from exhaustion and meds they gave me that I struggled with bonding with her. It wasn't until she was close to 6 months old before I really felt like I was a mom and even still almost 7 years later and 2 more kids I still struggle some days
way I figure, as long as your child can't tell, you're doing a great job.
Drugs during labor are the primary cause of detachment for most mothers actually. Disrupted or nonexistent bonding chemicals means no bond.
Thank you for saying you drive yourself to the hospital while in labor. Women in labor sometimes can not access their own good judgement. Everyone yelled at me when I drove myself to hospital while in labor with my 3rd baby. My water broke at work. I told my coworkers. They offered to drive me. I refused. I wasn’t having real pain. I called my husband. He didn’t believe I was actually in labor. Our other children were induced at least 2 weeks after due date. Baby 3 was born a little over 3 weeks early. Even though he weighed he weighed 7 pounds & 2 ounces, he did some issues with his lungs. Time took care of them.
I have been using, "You do the best you can with the information you have" in all aspects of my life. It's such a good mantra.
Name the pink fetus Norma to honor the woman known under the pseudonym “Jane Roe” and pushed for abortion rights in the United States
Norma Jane Roe is a great name. I'm so pissed that they over turned Roe v Wade, especially since I had 2 tubal pregnancies that they would have preferred I die from.
@@tarheelblueangel777 I’m so sorry to hear that. But right now I’m glad you’re alive.
You've talked a lot about pre-term delivery on your channel, but I haven't seen videos where you talk about late/post-term deliveries and the risks involved.
My mom had an induction scheduled, but the evening before it was scheduled, she went into labor. My brother was born, but had meconium in his lungs and he spent 14 days in the NICU because of that.
Maybe I've just missed when you've talked about this in the past, but otherwise I would love to hear more about it and other risks with late-term deliveries.
Meconium passage in the womb is incredibly common and rarely an issue, regardless of when labor and birth occur. Post dates pregnancies aren't legitimately risky.
I just gave birth to my third at the end of March, a little boy with hypoplastic left heart syndrome. He had his first open heart surgery at five days old, and until he came out of surgery it was really difficult for me to feel “bonded” to him, shall we say. We knew the risks going into the Norwood-Sano procedure and probably the most stressful moment of my life was when he went NPO prior to going back to the OR because he kept crying to be fed. I was afraid that I would be able to stay with him to see him off to surgery because me being there was just upsetting him more-he could smell me and refused to be settled with any other comfort measures. But I stepped out to grab a coffee and when I came back the PICU nurses had gotten him to sleep. After his surgery… he colors my world. I feel like motherhood generally intensified all of my emotions, positive and negative, and this experience was like that times ten.
I don't know if I already commented on another video, but after having bleeding two times in early pregnancy I absolutely understand women believing their bleeding is "a period". If I hadn't known that I was pregnant, I would have thought nothing about it as well.
Hey MDJ, I'd love to see an episode on pregnancy in bariatric patients. I know there's some interesting data and some special considerations especially depending on the procedure. It could be a cool guest episode with either a bariatric surgeon or bariatric nutritionist. I know it can be an area in medicine where the fields of knowledge don't overlap a whole lot, so patients end up having to do their own research or try to hunt down someone who happens to treat a lot of bariatric patients.
I had 2 VBAC’s but I had to fight for both of them. It took me a lot of phone calls to find a doctor willing to do my 2nd one. That’s a problem.
I would have thought that so recently that Doctors would know that you can have a vaginal birth after a c-section. By recently I mean 25 to 30 years ago.
@@westzed23 yeah, me too. But this was only 7 years ago. I had already had 1 VBAC prior in another city. When I got pregnant with my 3rd I didn’t think I’d have a problem again given I’d already had 1. Ha nope. 7 different practices in my very large city absolutely refused to even discuss another one, even after I clarified I’d already had 1. It was a repeated, “we don’t care. You have a c-section in your history so vbac isn’t an option.” Thankfully I finally found one and did have successfully have a 2nd one. He’s about to turn 7 and I’m still frustrated with what that took.
@@Sewingistherapy Lol! That statement "You can't have a vbac because you have a c-section in your history." is literally a contradiction! Vbac is _v_ aginal
_b_ irth _a_ fter _c_ -section. The reasons why you had the c-section and/ or any adverse events or conditions observed that happened during or after it are more important considerations than the simple fact that you have already had one c-section. That, in itself, is no longer considered enough reason alone.
When my nephew was just born and I held him, I also felt that immediate rush of falling in love. I think I read somewhere it's connected with the pheromones given off by new born babies. Either way, I still love him the same to this day, nine years later.
Ambulances are extremely expensive in the US, so I’m not surprised she drove herself to the ER
I'm so happy you always add in the bits about doing the best with the information you have, and how it's OK not to feel that rush of overwhelming love for your new born straight away
My baby was 35 weeks and she was 7lbs 2.2oz. so it is possible for the baby to be early at that weight. Yes we confirmed she was a premie by my placenta and blood work.
Wow! My son was born at 37 weeks exactly and all the nurses were shocked he was 8 lbs! Your baby probably would've gotten to at least 10 lbs if the pregnancy went to term.
I didn’t have that instant perfect connection with my son right away either and the freaking nurses or whoever ended up calling CPS on me! So literally the day I came home with him I had a cps worker calling me to set up a time for a visit. I was like what the heck. He was born via C-section and my incision ended up infected and I also had a gold ball size hematoma in my incision so I was extremely sick and in extreme pain. So I definitely didn’t have the best experience but I still love him and would die for him.
I tell the mums that I work with that your relationship with your baby is the same as any meaningful relationship you have, sometimes it happens very quickly and sometimes you need a little time to get to know this new person. We all take different path’s to the same destination.