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Last Sunday, I finally spoke out and told him he was neglecting his family. He was offended and told me that he doesn't enjoy having to work so hard but he's doing it for our family. This is where I told him that no, I think he does enjoy it, it gives him an excuse to not spend time with us, and that he was doing this for himself not for us. As things currently stand, our collective income is more than enough, there really was no need for him to add more classes on top of his existing ones, he's doing it for himself at this point. He's literally busy Monday - Saturday and now he's trying to cross the red line we established for Sunday.
We've been on bad terms since this fight. He keeps saying he can't believe that I said he works for himself not for us. AITA here?
NTA. You're right.
@@OftheTold-7zero reading comprehension
@@OftheTold-7 This is a Reddit story. This isn't the channel creator's story.
@@OftheTold-7 If you don't really care about the person who owns the original video, why did you comment? I don't really want to know. Just find your claims humorous.
Not the bad guy!
The truth is, unless you're literally starving, homeless and have no clothes to wear, having a present, engaged parent or two, who make the most out of your time together is way more important and beneficial to child's development. And having a healthy example of parent's relationship either it's together or separated, as long as they respect and support each other, is also better than married but filled with hate. Bc kids can feel all of that and they absorb and reflect it back.
Tf that has to do with this short 💀💀
@alirak9261 Exactly. I was wondering if there was some context of poverty that made him need the extra hours. And seeing as he’s been doing this work for a long time since before starting a family, isn’t there any other job he can do & enjoy to make more money without sacrificing time with his family?
If he believes he is working to provide for them, that’s cool. But he needs to remember that the time means more than the money. Otherwise, he’ll turn around later in life and realize that he made himself nothing more than an in-house bank with no real connection to the family he was fighting for.
You’re right because kids can eventually replace him as an income source by getting their own jobs as adults, but being a dad will make him irreplaceable.
@@kemzi22 did you not read the pinned post? They AREN’T in poverty. There is literally NO NEED for him to not have 1 day free for family time.
@@brofourtwenty2143everything did you not watch the short lol
“My child arrived just the other day
Came into the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, and as he grew
He'd say "I'm gonna be like you, Dad
You know I'm gonna be like you."
Well, the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little Boy Blue and the Man in the Moon
"When you comin' home, Dad?"
"I don't know when, but we'll get together then, son
You know we'll have a good time then."
Earning money for the family does not make up for neglecting your family in other ways.
Maybe if the wife also got a job, the husband can be more present.
@@notothe8915 she is about to give birth to the second kid. Not really possible. And OP didn't mention any financial issues. Based on her info, he is a workaholic neglecting his family.
@@JoanieBean She is expecting, not that she is "about to give birth", completely two different meaning. She can STILL work and she could have worked before. OP also didn't meantion if she had worked before, so with your principle that means she has never worked before and he is the sole breadwinner. Clearly he is trying to provide for the family, he cannot be working full time and part time and also be a stay at home dad like OP wants. The mother is lazy.
@@notothe8915 seek help.
@@notothe8915 She also didn't say if she worked or not. You are crafting narratives you want to believe. And then calling her "lazy" for it. LMFAO clown.
even time i try to focus on the story i get mesmerized by the food and have to rewatch it like three times😭
Me too 😄
Avery, you are part of the reason why channels put those stupid videos in the background. What are you? Severely autistic?
Same 😅
The algorithm found me-
I had bariatric surgery last week and have just started the next stage of my post op diet. I canNOT eat these things, so I’m just torturing myself lol
Sounds like he's adding classes to avoid home responsibilities.
How does that even make sense? He’s adding responsibility to avoid responsibility???? 🤡🤡🤡
@@mindcraftful Avoiding *home* responsibilities, specifically.
@@erraticonteuse he sounds like a good dad who’s working hard to provide for his family and his wife thinks he’s neglecting the family because he’s working so hard. It seems like a catch 22 he’s not an asshole and neither is she.
@@mindcraftful She asked for 1 day of the week to be dedicated to his family. He has a 9 to 5 which supports them. He does the tutoring because he likes it. And he's doing that instead of spending time with his kid and giving his wife a break.
@@erraticonteuse well, guess what he’s teaching his kids that Work comes before play.
Growing up my mom told me she worked so much because it meant she didn’t have to be around me, “it’s easier to drop you off and go to work than to be a mom, my life ended when I had you and I want it back” I’m not saying that’s the case here but the situation does happen. Many parents use work as an excuse to get away from their regrets. If he can’t give one day a week to his family, he definitely doesn’t want to be around. I was a mom, manager, and student. I still made time. There is no excuse.
OMG that is horrible.
I also believe people (parents, partners) who doesn't have any spare time to spend in most cases are mostly because they don't want to
You deserved a much better parent than that poor excuse for a human being. It sounds like you value your own family, I hope you have found joy!
Gosh is there enough therapy in the world when a parent says something like that 😭
@@Veracityseeker7 being child free is pretty new. A lot of people in the past seemed to only have kids because it was expected.
NTA. My dad also spent early years of my life working almost 24/7, 365 days so we wouldn't have to worry about food, money, etc. I understand that BUT he also wasn't present in my life for years. Sure, he was in the house but he was always working. Our relationship is good now but for 13-ish years, it wasn't and that's too long.
Because of my own experience and from hearing other people's experiences, unless you can find balance between being present in your families life and long work hours, don't pursue having children/having kids. I turned it around with my dad but that doesn't mean it'll be the same for you.
He shouldn't be adding more hours, classes, whatever to his schedule when clearly he doesn't have time for his family. He needs to find the balance.
My family was BROKE broke, like literally "stealing food" broke because food banks in our area decided that we "made too much money". I was a kid at the time and can't remember the exact number, but basically they decided that "any family who makes more than $[insert number] a year isn't poor" and refused to take into account that a family with one child and a family with FOUR CHILDREN will have vastly different income needs. I felt like an 1800's peasant, the way I had to literally steal bread.
So my mother had to work a job and be a stay-at-home mom, and my father worked two full-time jobs. And then we get screwed by taxes because of my dad's two jobs, and the government started garnishing 50% of my father's wage which made him have to work more hours, it was a whole mess...
In spite of all of this, he'd use his break time during his night job to call us on the phone and talk to us before bed.
So yeah, that man in the video is just using it as an excuse to not be a father.
Back when I was a kid, we didn't have cell phones, my father used a dang PAY PHONE at his work to call us on the land line. This man has every bit of technology at his disposal to, at the very least, video chat the kids or make it work somehow.
@@jadecoolness101 I hope your parents don't have to work this hard anymore? Are they well? Your father sounds like an amazing person
@@inajai6422 I mean we've all grown up and moved out and they divorced. my father is actually not a great person though. He raised his kids right but otherwise....... oof.
The way he said "tutor" sounded like "cheater" I was like holdup wait a minute, WHAT?! Why was that said so casually?! 😂 I had to watch the subtitle for that 😂😅
I know I had to rewind and read the subtitles because I was like did he just say cheater??!!!!😂😂😂
@@oromtitiwbo5078Same
I was hoping I wasn't the only one who heard cheater, I was questioning why she was still with the dude if he was
The guy is the AH. This story is missing a commpent that says how the husband and her combined make 170k per year. Op making 70k and the husband making 100k well before he added the tutoring classes. They have everything paid off.
Question is where do they live. If they live in a city in California 170k a year isn’t much at all
@Jonthekiller9 op had said they make well more than enough. I don't know where they live but they make tons of money. It is 70k from op and 100k from husband with 0 tutoring. The tutoring is unnecessary as op said they make more than enough
@@Jonthekiller9you can leave the relativity at the door. She is an accountant so She should know how much they need
@@Jonthekiller9from california: 170k is very much enough unless you want to be in a boujie house in downtown la 👍 parents make around that amount and we own a two story (bought recently).
His excuse was "What if we wanted a second house?" Like....WHAT!?
People really out here ignoring her contributions to make her out to be selfish
Financial support isnt the only job Dads/Husbands have. Its one of them but these yahoos are forgetting that even with all the money in the world cannot keep the family you are supposed to be working for from leaving you.
WOW YOU SOUND SO PROMISING. SO DOOMED IF HE WORKS HARD DOOMED IF HE DONT. nO WONDER MEN ARE WALKING AWAY FROM ARRIAGE
@@gouthamvarma381You should provide for your family financialy as a parent, but never that much that you neglect them
@@gouthamvarma381
Cope
Bro she’s pregnant is he just expecting her to continue doing all the parenting and house hold duties when she’s 9 months pregnant
Not only that but she also works she’s not a SAHM
She works, she’s pregnant and take care of the child and the house, no wonder women started to avoid marriage, lol
I totally understand him wanting to provide for his family, but he needs to find balance at some point soon because what's he gonna do in 10-15 years when his kids don't tell him shit about their lives because "dad's not there anyways."
Some dads need to understand that their role is way more than providing financially, they actually have to be their fir their families
NTA, but off topic am i the only one who heard "he is also a cheater" instead of tutor not paying attention to the subtitles?
Was looking for this comment. I feel vindicated 😂
NTA My dad used to be like that too, working all the time and leaving my mum to take care of me when I was a baby. I saw him so rarely that I didn't even recognize him and it broke his heart. He would even go working while being extremely sick, believing he had to do this to provide for his family. The result was that he ended up in the hospital with myocarditis. Ever since then he cut back on the work and allowed himself to rest when he was sick.
We went through a really rough time because we didn't have money and no support from relatives, but at least my dad was there for me.
Yeah there's 100% something more to this that's been left out
Nta, he needs to pay attention to you and your son. He crossed the line by breaking a boundary.
The lesson a kid will learn from this is that they are never as important as the 'kid free time' an adult will have at their job. Speaking from experience.
NTA, my dad used to work for a construction company as the safety manager, he left the house early and got home late because of where we live and where they have things set up. i didnt see my dad very often unless on weekends and sometimes not even then. i knew he was there but our relationship was strained greatly because of the less interactions.
he eventually was fired and then was unemployed for 2 years i think, while home he worked hard to find jobs, but no body would hire due to his age, it made him busier in a way and only when he got a job in the oil field did we interact way more
NTA, time is lost and you can't get it back.
He could be a workaholic or someone that just doesn’t want to be with his family. Neither option is very good but it’s something he needs to confront and overcome
I don't know if you work or are a stay at home mom but you're husband does not enjoy your company, nor your child, and since you are expecting, I have no idea what you are like. So, you are right. You are not TA. However, I am not willing to pass judgment on your husband either.
It depends on whether he still tried to make time for his family. My dad works 7 days a week, but he still tries to spend time with us (drive us to school, bring us out, holiday, etc).
He probably doesn't, after what she stated, that he works until late or at home, but without being mentally there, so sunday was the only real family time
I don’t think this is a simple, AITA question. I think OP and the husband need to have family therapy and reach some kind of mutual understanding for each other, their feelings, and the situation at hand. I wish them all the best and hope this is just a chapter in their life together. And if that can’t be the case, I hope they’re at least able to leave off with some form of mutual understanding and respect.
I don't think anyone is the AH, this is just something that needed to be said to him and hopefully he realises that he needs to spend more time with you guys.
He's definitely the AH here
@@Ebunoluwa13well please tell me how you see that
@Ebunoluwa13 how so
@@Floofstoof he deliberately broke a long standing agreement (no working on sundays) that has never been an issue before. That pops him into AH territory.
@@hannahorse16 I very well see what you’re saying however there is no way to tell if he genuinely is trying to help his family more or get away from his family more. But yes I definitely see your point
A man focusing on providing for his family is important, but he needs to try and balance his time and manage it effectively
He needs to watch the movie Click. Also, the song they play in that movie has this line, "I'm working so I don't have to tey so hard" it's called Sometimes by The Strokes, its good
Please read the full story before you make your judgments. OP also works and they make plenty of money, OP literally being an accountant and able to make sure of that
There is no AH here. On one hand he’s seems to really be trying to make money for his family but in the other hand he needs to take more priority in his family.
I'm sitting at a more info needed. This guy is working 7 days a week which screams financial insecurity and whether she's an AH depends on whether she's ignoring money issues/the guy's mental health or not.
Some people are workholic. I remember a chemistry teacher of mine, he worked at school, had morning class, evening class until 10 pm, then sat sun 2-3 classes at tuition, evening practical classes set at his home. He charged quite a lot (it's fair though)from each student, had a good salary from school, his house was big and nice, he just had one son.
@@nilanjasa007 I would agree with you if there wasn't a significant progressive change in the behaviour around a significant life event/additional expense. People who act like that tend to do it without much prompting. Again, this is a find out WHY he feels he needs to work this much and then go from there. If he's just a workaholic there won't be a well defined reason.
No, see the other comment
@@Ravenishish I totally see your point and get it but with the info I have currently I’d say that it’s a no ah here
"After which he is also a cheater"
I'm... Sorry?!?! 💀
Yeah that’s what i said what the hell until i read the words and saw tutor…😂
yeah and after she said it was never a big issue.
Communication is key isnt it
They did communicate and he went back on his word
@@ladywesker5307Where does it say that?
@@deadaccount2048 In order for their to be a line that he crossed, they had to have discussed that sunday's were off limits
@@ladywesker5307 Yes true, but they also should’ve discussed whether having a second child would be sensible given their financial situation. And there is a chance the wife was overly spending (this wouldn’t be included since the story is coming from HER perspective) and the husband didn’t want to upset her.
@@deadaccount2048 Or its possible that he's just overworking considering they both work and she has said that they're more than well off.
NTA. I'd be wondering what he was doing all that time.
When a woman is pregnant men and woman handle it differently most men go into a provide mode where they become obsessed with providing enough for the family this can lead to over working where women it is a family building time to stop this argument know that you are talking about different things first address his concerns make sure he knows he is a good provider point out all you have then explain the only thing money can’t provide is family time and you need him to prioritize it more
Thank you, someone has some sense. People want to paint the man as a bad guy so bad that they don't stop to think. A baby on the way means more expenses. This man is just trying to financially prepare for the extra expenses that come with another child.
Ok, I think that if you're in a loving relationship, he's probably working harder for your family. I mean, what if he's trying to make extra money so that he can get you and your son something special.
You know what's special? Spending time with your dad
When she said that he was also a teacher did anyone else hear cheater and just think his wife was like fine with it😂😂
EZ - Don’t have children if they are not going to be the center of your life !
Bro when they said tutor I heard cheater 😂
He's cheating with a student😂
Explain the financial situation and how much he's bringing in from tutor and his normal job, them judgement can be made.
Sounded like it said cheater
Ok but here’s the thing:
Yes he has been adding more hours for the past year, but in that same year, they have ALSO added another member into this family. That means one more mouth to feed, cloth, health insurance, cost of delivery because that is NOT cheap in the US), like the amount of money that comes with any baby is a lot. So yes, maybe he did add some hours but when you increase the size of your family, you will most likely NEED more income (it also sounds like OP is staying at home to take of this kid- meaning the guy’s tutoring and 9-5 are the only sources of income) and not to mention- there’s ANOTHER kid on the way, like the only way there’s going to possibly be a sufficient increase in income is if the husband puts in more hours. I will say though that if the husband really was so worried about making sure there is enough income, that having another kid does not help the situation and both parents could’ve planned better about considering having another kid. Chances are if OP wasn’t pregnant- the husband would feel less pressure to work longer and would also not need as much time to work. I don’t really think it’s fair of OP to get upset at the husband for working more when the family size is increasing and yet he’s the only one working to support that family. Of course there’s going to have to be more total hours in order for the income to rise without risking any falls from trying change jobs
But what makes you think they need more money? If his current income wasn't enough for the second child wouldn't the wife understand why he's working more, or are we assuming she's an idiot?
It also sounds like she may have became a stay at home mom by the sounds of it, leaving one less job.
So there is a reply that wasn't here. They make well over 170k per year. The wife makes 70k and the husband already made 100k. They had everything paid off as well.
I've actually seen this story before. She is an accountant making 70k he is a software engineer making 100k without the extra classes. Thats not something I'd say is too much of a concern.
@@thetinykid4169 lol we both mentioned it
It's really difficult to judge this because we don't know your financial situation. But, if you're happy with having less money coming in and will still be able to manage then, no, you're not the asshole. He shouldn't have got married and started a family if he wasn't prepared to be present as a father and husband.
The only person that will remember that you worked over time is your kids
no one's an asshole here. I think it's a case of you both are very valid priorities (the wife with quality family time and husband with providing for family) but are not lining up so it's causing conflict. I think the husband could work less time to hang with his family and to take some of the childcaring burden off the wife. and I think once the mom gives birth and recovers then hopefully things get more even and equal
I thought it said “he was also a cheater” at first
The story doesn't say if she works, too. If not, then a 9-5 for a family of 4 isn't enough in this economy.
9 to 5 can mean a lot of things, he could be making 6 figures. Anyway, kids need their dad, one day a week is the bare minimum
He makes 100k and she makes 70k.
@@radhiadeedou8286 yeah, but median income in the US is 50k a year. Depending on the state, that's definitely not enough. BUT someone just commented that they both work and make almost 200k combined. So that means he's up to something else
@@thetinykid4169 he's off his rockers then.
He's adding on work load to avoid going home. I don't know if he's lying about work and is cheating or he's just a shitty husband/father. My daughter's dad was a shitty father. After she was born, he became annoyed with her crying (normal crying, she was even more quiet than most babies), hated me for asking for 20 minute naps or time for me to take a quick shower, and every other responsibility that comes with parenting. He started requesting time on other ships (Navy) so he could use that as an excuse. As an engineer with his assigned ship in dry dock, he was able to volunteer to go on deployments with ships that needed help in the engineering department. So when I mentioned how happy I was that he was going to have a lighter work load since he wouldn't be on his ship while in dry dock, he panicked and ran to every ship he could to go on deployments. His "friend" ratted him out and when I confronted him, he admitted it, taking it further by saying he already has a job and being "that baby's" parent is my job. I'm not trying to project but the dad in this story sounds exactly like him, even down to guilting the mom for suggesting he isn't doing it for family.
I was listening to this but not reading it and when she said tuter I heard cheater😅
I swear the first time around I heard cheater not tutor!! 😭😭😭😭
Does she know the financial situation? At no point does she mention that these additional tutoring sessions aren't needed to help make ends meet and they're adding another kid to the mix. But also, cram season is gold for tutors. It's a seasonal surge that can provide a good experience for getting new jobs as your previous students graduate.
I understand that the kid needs active parents for development however it sounds like the guy has serious money anxiety that this woman is just ignoring and is claiming that he's working 7 days a week for his own benefit.
I'm at an INFO. Nowhere near enough data to make a solid judgement.
“Hes also a cheater!”
“Excuse me?”
“Hes also a tutor!”
“Oh okay”
The fact he broke a boundry previously agreed on? Yeah no he has zero excuses. There are options for this way before just breaking a deal like that.
He's trying to avoid responsibilities. My dad didn't cut down his work from his job but he organized plans in such a way beforehand that my mom would have much less stress. When I was born(2nd child) naturally it was harder and my dad even now expresses his guilt for the toil my mom had to go through alone, he apologized to both me and my mom
No. I have a dad just like him. He has 5 kids with my mom including me. When work is over he goes straight to his clothing shop and doesn't come home till late in the night. We're are all grown up and we tend to forget him because he's so absent. He also does not realize why we tend to isolate him. He also constantly modify's the house. He's already in deep debt but he continues spending money on the house. He says he's doing it for us but in reality he's doing it for himself.
NTA. He is either cheating or in a depression.
Im sure a lot of people especially men will disagree however if you're family is financially stable and chilling in life then there's no need to get a new job because your children doesn't need materialistic things they need a home, food, clothes, the essentials for school, the ability to occasionally go on fun family trips, and the love and affection of a fucking parent. You don't even need to go on trips if you give them your time especially when they're young. Like spend time tutoring your child so they can do good in school. Spend time talking and teaching your child especially when you have the time to do so. For whatever reason he's clearly doing it for himself and jot for his wife or kids
Ask him if he's cheating.
bro i hear cheater , not teacher😂
then i 2as so confused sbout classes. i am like what?is he picking up college chicks lol
Men derive much of their identity and satisfaction in being able to provide for their family. OP is NTA, but she shouldn’t have waited to explode over the issue. She went about it wrong.
I think that expressing you feel like he is neglecting the family is ok but if exams are coming then you also need to realize that he is trying to pass classes so he can graduate so he has more time to be with you and the kids. He's trying to get to a place so he doesn't have to work so hard.
He's just making excuses to not spend time doing his responsibilities that is family and advancing his life ~ should you guys split up in the future he will have made no sacrifice and have his degrees and all you will have is your kids and being a house wife and that is not fair ~ take a stand now or life will onky get harder later
I had to read that I thought you said cheater
Ok I've seen this many times. Married men mine inclusive, use work as an excuse to dodge house work. Lol.
I use work sometimes so it's fair game. 😂😂
He's only taking on more because work is a lot easier than staying home and helping out. It's becomes irritating when you are home on maternity leave or career break and the escape is one sided. It gets very frustrating. My husband will see we have things to do and will refuse to move work around because he knows that's the only way he can dodge😂
Uh yea, so, you are, 1. Its hard to schedule classes, 2. He clearly loves the family 3. Maybe don't assume you know what he wants or is doing
Sorry its started fine, calling him out is fine, but he kinda took it too far
NTA. Hes sacrificing himself to support the people he loves. If you dont like the idea of him working soo much then why don't you help alleviate the burden of earning by also having a job? Yes the child is young but in a relationship, every solution has to be a fair middle ground otherwise it will create resentment. He doesn't want to work as much but doesn't have the choice. You dont want him to work soo much either. If your theory about him avoiding you is correct then not only will you working prove that perfectly but it would also allow you to have a financial fall back so you can leave. If youre wrong then you still end up winning because youll have gained what you originally wanted. Every situation is a potential win with this solution
It’s just a bad relationship, it’s cheating
If he's always been a 'cheater', you and your family has NEVER been his priority.
Go live with your family and get on your own feet, separately from him.
He's making a mugg out of you.
You should never talk about your spouse behind their back. If you have problems in your marriage, work it out with them; don't air your dirty laundry in public. For this, you are the bad guy.
All the people saying the dad sucks just remember this little tidbit the kid is less then 4 now I question if you remember anything from your years 1-3 vividly enough to say it had an impact
Help I heard “Tutor” as “cheater” and I was like “what?! How is that not a problem?!” 😂
Also nta unless your struggling and I mean REALLY struggling like not enough food, clothes, etc then I can understand but from what it sounds like this isn’t the case
I think that he should devote more time to his family but at the same time at least he does work and he’s not just a slob who sits around on his couch all day and does nothing but watch TV
You are the bad guy don’t be complaining when you sit at home
Divorce mate she crazy 😊
Kinda sounds like breaking bad. Skyler just wanted walt to admit he was doing it for himself. Fuck skyler tho
Wait minute here. Everyone is missing an important fact. You are expecting a second child. Thats a crazy expense coming. He is trying to make as much money to support you, the baby thats here now and the one on the way. In this economy with no end insight you're going to ride his back for working for few extra hours? You will have 2 children to support. It sounds like you want your cake and eat it too. YATA.
Yes you are but only if you didn't account for inflation. But both of you have a point.
That’s not a marriage. It certainly is the marriage that you signed up for. Maybe you need to take your child and visit him at lunch breaks. Might be awkward for him, but just say it’s the only way to see him. Bring a bag lunch for all of you. Maybe if you interfere in his world, he’ll choose to spent time at home. Or you might be able to check if he’s cheating?!
Sounds like you can’t afford the lifestyle you created. He is working more hours in preparation for the increase in bills when baby number 2 comes.
Me not paying attention too the story me how the fuck did he grab hot meat off a hot pan
I would abord the subject in a diff way next time
I think you ATA let's say he enjoys it, let's say he prefers it to "family time" . Is it a crime? Is it morally wrong? NO. It is not. As time goes by we all change, maybe he is not the same person that wanted all that family time before, and like it or not, that's ok. Things change, people change that's how lofe works. Now i am willing to admit that if you don't like it, it's not fair to you to put up with it. But that's what divorce is for.
Nta, but not the most mature way to handle the situation
YTAH ungrateful
Classes on Sunday? Or something else?
Well okay I understand your frustration but I’ll play devils advocate here (which I rarely do) perhaps he is working for money to do/get something special for your family. But this sounds like you need to have a discussion with him
I don't think either of you are really in the wrong, yes he should spend time with you and if you previously agreed that Sundays are for family, than that's what they should be. But he is also earning money for the family, and if he is tutoring on Sunday for finals, then it should go back to normal after finals.
Sounds like SHE IS THE PEOBLEM, for f*ck sake you notice an issue and it's causeing problems and shock she says nothing breaking down communication then just attacks the guy accusing him of not caring when instead he does care and she just wants him home more and shock again says nothing and just attacks him when all of this should have been talked over the FIRST TIME! But no he's the problem when all of this could have been solved without her freaking out if she approtched this as his partner insead of a freak and have a god damn conversation
Need more info but nta you are just going through P hormones if you needed to ask. good luck
If the woman is unemployed, they yes yta
No, only time ive seen one of these and think that yes, you are a bit of the A-H, specifically cause your making assumptions that he dosent wanna spend time with you in the first place, thats a bit uncalled for and self centered
NTA, but no one is
Seems like hes cheating
Can people have nuance for once in their lives and not assume everyone is a malicious person? He may just not notice he is spending less and less time with them and he really likes his job and wants to take care of his family financially, simple.
@@cherryhazard8002 Sorry I have abandodment issues, everytime my mom gets the car and I have to wait longer than normally I think she wants to abandon me, lol
Btw I saw the update and they talked it out and he wasnt cheating he just wanted to do what you wrote, but I didnt think anyone would see the comment so I didnt bother deleting it
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@@user-cy1iq8ux6f Honestly, it makes more sense. But still, not everyone is cheating on their partner, but I do understand abandonment issues bring up those assumptions at times.
@@fatherjune I know and I hate it but idk
u are so wrong he is a father he has a sense of responsibilty and wants to keep givinvg his family the best of the best and he has to work hard for it and on
top of that u saying that tohim shows what a horrible person u are
Of course it’s all the women saying she’s not the asshole. The man is trying to provide for his growing family, and y’all are complaining. Nothing is ever good enough, and y’all will come up with shit in your head and actually believe it. Communication is key, and I think she needs to have a serious one with her spouse without raising her voice, being dramatic, and assuming things, like women do.
You're a weirdo for cooking meat on a mountain for no reason
How selfish. He's getting an education for your benefit later. You must be quite young
No he's tutoring collage students he's not in collage
No at the tune you were rude because you reached your boiling point and you were likely both quite stressed
Give it a hour or so to calm down and then decide on a tube to properly discuss the matter with clear open communication and make sure there aren’t any burst outs
Yep. YTA
I don’t think that the husband is the asshole here, remember we are all entitled to our own opinion, it’s perfectly fine if you don’t agree with me, and I respect all of you, but I think that OP is being unreasonable, from my own experience I can safely say that I don’t enjoy working overtime all the time, but it’s something that I must do, and if somebody told me that I was doing it to avoid family time and because I liked it, my feeling would be really hurt. I can understand OP’s situation that she feels like a single mother, but she’s being super unreasonable, maybe if she actually talked to him and told him how she felt beforehand, or sat him down and had a discussion things would work better. Instead OP decided to rashly jump to the conclusion that her husband hates her or something, without considering the toll that his work takes on him. I personally think that what she did was very selfish, and she needs to reconsider her actions.
Op did jump to a conclusion about the husband’s reasoning for doing extra, but she still has the right to call him out on it happening. In the rest of the post of the first comment, she said they are more than financially stable so there isn’t a need for overtime. The husband also crossed a clear boundary that was mutually agreed without consulting her first. ESH.
She tried to talk to him about it. He cited upcoming exams as the reason for taking extra classes, not financial pressure.
She’s pregnant, it is harder for someone who is heavily pregnant to go about their normal work & routines. They have a kid together who is also missing out on time with their father.
He needs to be present, but he’s not.