Why People with Trauma Struggle in Relationships

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 16 เม.ย. 2024
  • Excerpt from This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #495 | Tim Fletcher
    Full Episode: • Trauma Expert Tim Flet...
    Find Theo Von:
    Website: theovon.com
    Instagram: / theovon
    Facebook: / theovon
    Facebook Group: / thispastweekend
    Twitter: / theovon
    Patreon: / theovon
    TH-cam: / theovon
    #TheoVon #TimFletcher #ThisPastWeekend #TheoVonClips #Trauma #traumahealing #Relationships
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ความคิดเห็น • 875

  • @Atacanfarms
    @Atacanfarms 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +502

    i’ve gone 3 days without alcohol

    • @r1jereme1f
      @r1jereme1f 19 วันที่ผ่านมา +26

      I hope you’ve continued this streak since you posted. We’re all rooting for you.
      Keep it up, my friend ❤

    • @reynavalo6201
      @reynavalo6201 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +8

      Nice brother... keep on going

    • @tucsontadolini3344
      @tucsontadolini3344 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +11

      Great job keep it up!! I got 2 days sober and no job never been down this bad but we got this brother

    • @lelandlugo9386
      @lelandlugo9386 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

      Good shit bro

    • @blueT46
      @blueT46 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      I hope you are doing incredible

  • @johnconnor4136
    @johnconnor4136 หลายเดือนก่อน +1623

    Just wanted to comment here to proudly share that I've been sober for 1,669 days.

    • @PimSchouten
      @PimSchouten หลายเดือนก่อน +33

      Thats incredible man. Mega proud of you. Im actually 6 months today. Hope to reach your number one day 💪🏻

    • @theauntofdragons
      @theauntofdragons หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      🎉🎉🎉 good job!!!! Keep going!!!

    • @tonyp.bahama9368
      @tonyp.bahama9368 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Well done bro, keep on keeping on!

    • @outlier.mp3
      @outlier.mp3 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      gang

    • @pvillelde
      @pvillelde หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Good work! 🎉

  • @praywithoutceasing2966
    @praywithoutceasing2966 หลายเดือนก่อน +612

    Theo’s vulnerability is beautiful

    • @mr12aT
      @mr12aT หลายเดือนก่อน

      Probably a Biden supporter 🌈

    • @BallsInMyCup_
      @BallsInMyCup_ 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      it is why he’s among my favorites in the current comedy sphere along with Duncan Trussell. hilarious, but can’t help wearing their flaws on their sleeve.
      addressing themselves and making others laugh through it

    • @lulumoon6942
      @lulumoon6942 18 วันที่ผ่านมา +13

      He is low key making changes in society with it.

    • @jordanburnett6453
      @jordanburnett6453 10 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Literally

  • @DavidBee101
    @DavidBee101 หลายเดือนก่อน +577

    That whole line about being fine until something triggers you and then fucking things up beyond repair hit hard. When it's too late it's too late, and you will hate yourself once you come to that realisation.

    • @Lemoncare
      @Lemoncare หลายเดือนก่อน +18

      You got that right. I bail. I f/f run or fight. I did take Tim s course. It’s much easier to be me. Thank God for Tim Fletcher, and his compassionate staff. I am in recovery.

    • @Portia620
      @Portia620 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Me f things up! 🤦‍♀️

    • @ahem8013
      @ahem8013 หลายเดือนก่อน +30

      i dont remember where i heard it but its something like “no matter how far along the road you are, you are always the same distance from the ditch” which is a little bit depressing at first, but also comforting, because you always know where the ditch is.

    • @JuanAppleseed-ge6tb
      @JuanAppleseed-ge6tb หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      @@ahem8013 I've never heard the phrase, but I love it. Something similar I say is "the truth will set you free, but it's going to piss you off first."
      People who believe that their life is perfect and can't fail are always in for a worse reaction than a person who is realistic. I know exactly how close I am to failure, because it would take one bad accident, some legal trouble, or even a random freak accident with no explanation and I could be homeless by the end of the year.
      A LOT of people don't understand that.

    • @musicallyfedmonkey
      @musicallyfedmonkey หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      The highway of life is filled with flat squirrels that couldn't make a decision.”

  • @RodriguezGorge
    @RodriguezGorge 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +94

    I suffered severe trauma several years ago. I was diagnosed with BPD 20 years ago as a teenage. Spent my whole life fighting BPD. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.

    • @Ronkaja
      @Ronkaja 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Congrats on your recovery. Most persons never realizes psilocybin can be used as a miracle medication to save lives. Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death bud, lets be honest here.

    • @Bastianbishops
      @Bastianbishops 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Can you help me with the reliable source 🙏. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Germany. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them

    • @SusanaGomez-mp8sk
      @SusanaGomez-mp8sk 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

      YES sure of Dr.benfungi. Did straight shrooms in few days. Left me like a blank slate after words, no more addictions, pains, ptsd and depression. Shit saved my life, all thanks to Dr.benfungi

    • @Edennnn926
      @Edennnn926 4 วันที่ผ่านมา

      100% agree I used to have Psychosis and paranoid thoughts like "people thinking about me talking about me etc. Very odd behavior after getting off Adderall from 7-16. Antidepressants at 18-29. 31 now. I took way to much, but took about 20g of Gold caps (Psilocybin containing mushroom) I analyzed my entire life. The emotions that came out helped me understand behavior etc more. Wont ever need to do it again because I'm happy and contempt forever, but I wish more people did this to alter their perception of reality. Would help with healing much trauma

    • @LuisaSweden-rf3ke
      @LuisaSweden-rf3ke 4 วันที่ผ่านมา

      How do I reach out to him? Is he on insta

  • @cag1
    @cag1 หลายเดือนก่อน +555

    Theo is an absolute hero and role model for speaking out about this kind of stuff. How many of us have the same or similar issues and don't talk about it to anyone?

    • @macg7785
      @macg7785 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Not hard dude, talk about it and quit being a little bitch

    • @blablabla2616
      @blablabla2616 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Yeap being open and exposeing your truth it takes and shows true strengh.

    • @Shinyflubba
      @Shinyflubba หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      I do talk about it to people, but they can never give me good solution on how to remove the root of the issue

    • @themajor333
      @themajor333 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      ​@@Shinyflubbait's about finding what works for you specifically. Usually a combination of different therapeutic approaches work. CBT, ACT, EMDR, neurofeedback therapy, internal family systems. Creative writing...the list goes on. You need to research. The body keeps the score is a good book to start with. Gabor mate is a great educator in trauma as well.

    • @Shinyflubba
      @Shinyflubba หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      @@themajor333 thank you for the references and your comment! 🙂

  • @zeeshan2561
    @zeeshan2561 หลายเดือนก่อน +408

    Love how Tim immediately went into listening mode as soon as Theo started opening up..

    • @molls0922
      @molls0922 หลายเดือนก่อน +24

      I noticed this too. It’s like watching therapy. I appreciate Thea’s vulnerability

    • @molls0922
      @molls0922 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      Theo’s*

    • @pixiestix726
      @pixiestix726 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Yes!!!

    • @lulumoon6942
      @lulumoon6942 18 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Total body language change.

  • @codyknight7569
    @codyknight7569 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +60

    Hearing Theo say “when I saw a functioning family I would be like ‘what the f*** is this’” killed me

    • @MsMak03
      @MsMak03 19 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      😂 now I’m staying to see this moment

    • @zackwebb8697
      @zackwebb8697 7 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

      Shits real too. Just seeing a family eating dinner together used to break me

    • @MsMak03
      @MsMak03 7 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@zackwebb8697 sorry mate

    • @zackwebb8697
      @zackwebb8697 7 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      @@MsMak03 no worries, I eat dinner with my wife and kid now

  • @jenniferfox8382
    @jenniferfox8382 หลายเดือนก่อน +214

    Tim Fletcher is hands down one of the best educators on complex trauma ive ever heard.

    • @Curious1304
      @Curious1304 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Agree! He's the best I've seen so far on YT by a lot. So many helpful videos on his channel - he really gets it, at all levels.

    • @Krzy-hoo
      @Krzy-hoo หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Heidi Priebe is also doing amazing work. Especially lately. You could check her out.

    • @clicheguevara5282
      @clicheguevara5282 28 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      I have C-PTSD so I’m definitely going to check him out. I’m surprised I haven’t seen him before. I watch trauma and autism videos almost daily.

    • @MoarRushPl0x
      @MoarRushPl0x 21 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      I recommend Dr. Gabor Maté. This is the first time I've heard of Tim Fletcher but I like what he had to say.

  • @rupz7064
    @rupz7064 หลายเดือนก่อน +352

    Its actually so powerfull and brave for theo to speak about these things so openly, really the kind of 'manly' we need instead of all these f*ing "alpha males"

    • @brennancarter7721
      @brennancarter7721 หลายเดือนก่อน +26

      The alpha, sigma, beta male crap is just the guy version of astrology. “I’m a Sagittarius.”
      “I’m an alpha male.”
      It’s the same sh!t.

    • @jadedbreadncircus9159
      @jadedbreadncircus9159 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      @@brennancarter7721 one has to do with patterns involved with planet & moon alignments...& the other are labels based on social habits. I guess I see your point on how similar the sky clock & social hierarchy are the same.

    • @goodmorningsundaymorning4533
      @goodmorningsundaymorning4533 หลายเดือนก่อน

      The f does alpha male mean to you? A mechanic? A blue collar worker? It's all part of woke BS. Stop feeding into it

    • @eduardobroekman
      @eduardobroekman หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      @@brennancarter7721that makes no sense at all

    • @Bonbob626
      @Bonbob626 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      Ummmm....I believe there is a place for some of it. The self improvement stuff. Because once a guy has worked out his trauma....he needs to also be able to work out what truly motivates and sustains him and what the expectations are of the people that he wants to have around him. There are masculine traits of strength, loyalty, integrity, being a protector that are very important for a man to learn in order to gain respect from women, respect from other men- and most importantly the respect of one's self.

  • @IkamiLog
    @IkamiLog 11 วันที่ผ่านมา +233

    Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

    • @APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU
      @APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU 11 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!

    • @elizabethwilliams6651
      @elizabethwilliams6651 11 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Yes, dr.sporessss I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

    • @Jennifer-bw7ku
      @Jennifer-bw7ku 11 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I wish they were readily available in my place.
      Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
      He's constantly talking about killing someone.
      He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.

    • @APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU
      @APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU 11 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Is he on instagram?

    • @elizabethwilliams6651
      @elizabethwilliams6651 11 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Yes he is. dr.sporessss

  • @eastwood111
    @eastwood111 หลายเดือนก่อน +235

    It’s so true that relationships bring out our trauma. The old saying goes hurt people, hurt people 😢

    • @TheSpiritSword
      @TheSpiritSword หลายเดือนก่อน +16

      And healed people heal people

    • @goodmorningsundaymorning4533
      @goodmorningsundaymorning4533 หลายเดือนก่อน +34

      I hate that BS copout saying. Not all hurt people hurt people. A lot of hurt people have genuine empathy for others bcuz they know exactly how it feels.

    • @Portia620
      @Portia620 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Hurt people have helped people and healed them too!

    • @Portia620
      @Portia620 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@goodmorningsundaymorning4533yes!!!! Thank you for calling out this toxic thought process!!!

    • @ImLehwz
      @ImLehwz 25 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I recently heard of data that actually most traumatised people actually don’t redo the thing that has been done onto them

  • @CH-cm4qe
    @CH-cm4qe หลายเดือนก่อน +159

    Severely abused and abandoned by both parents as a kid. "Fake intimacy" is THE BEST explanation of what I used to be (dated old rich guys, made out with young guys in the club, etc.) and eventually I met my husband thru a coworker when I was 35. He suffered maybe more trauma than me as a kid. Together 14 yrs now with a kid. I reiterate all the time I don't want the BS relationship. We have gone into therapy at trying times, learning SO much about how our traumas shaped us and can say that we are MORE solid today than ever. It can be done. Just meet someone as fucked up as you😅

    • @scottcates
      @scottcates หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Thanks

    • @LatteCoco1
      @LatteCoco1 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

      Very true, you could also spend some time being single, out of a relationship, to go to therapy and work through issues before committing to another person whom you may hurt or may hurt you.

    • @oregonsnob31
      @oregonsnob31 หลายเดือนก่อน +25

      @@LatteCoco1yes this is true to a point but as a survivor oF CPTSD and child abuse i have been on my own for 10 years and in therapy and doing the work but i found that without practicing with someone else in a relationship things stay in theory rather than practice. After trying both ways, i find that practicing and trying with someone who is understanding and struggling with their own stuff is a better idea.
      Plus, haven’t we suffered enough??? Why should we be alone even longer as adults after we have already been so lonesome since a child?? Doing the work by yourself is key but you also deserve to try with the right person. Imagine reading about how to play basketball and getting on the court as opposed to playing one on one for just as long. Which way will teach you more about yourself and give you muscle memory?

    • @Portia620
      @Portia620 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      😂😂. Got it! 😂😂

    • @Portia620
      @Portia620 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@oregonsnob31agreed!!

  • @Solacethroughdeath
    @Solacethroughdeath หลายเดือนก่อน +176

    I have been married twice and engaged now. We are taking our time, as the trauma from toddler sexual abuse impacted me to the core. This relationship is different. He has helped me heal and has allowed me to take my own pace in our relationship. I think the difference though, I finally love myself. My sexual abuse was not my fault, and I don’t have to carry that trauma around with me. I found joy and gratitude, which is foreign to me. I turn 46 next month and for the first time, am not bogged down by the trauma I carried around for 44 years. ❤️

    • @whatdoyoulivefor735
      @whatdoyoulivefor735 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      Inspiring

    • @italishgirl5601
      @italishgirl5601 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      God bless you and God bless your upcoming marriage 🙏

    • @lindamon5101
      @lindamon5101 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      The body holds memories. It takes work& courage to re program the feelings& reroute nerves ❤ you got this

    • @Portia620
      @Portia620 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Thank God you found someone that understands

    • @Cocoisagordonsetter
      @Cocoisagordonsetter หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      It had nothing to do with you. I had some low level stuff as an older child. I was luckily always able to understand it wasn't me despite coming from a hard core religious background too where being pure is way overemphasized.

  • @patrickcarpenter7751
    @patrickcarpenter7751 หลายเดือนก่อน +166

    If anyone is reading this, you are worthy. You are loved. And there is hope. Love you Theo.

    • @Portia620
      @Portia620 หลายเดือนก่อน

      When does cptsd end?

    • @tammyhiatt1804
      @tammyhiatt1804 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Idk. But that is a million dollar question.

    • @kickboomuk798
      @kickboomuk798 24 วันที่ผ่านมา

      A randomer on TH-cam saying that isn't gunna make people think any different lol

  • @Calismooth9
    @Calismooth9 หลายเดือนก่อน +86

    "someone you met in a service area" wth Theo lol. Love this man. He says it like it is.

    • @danielsage3559
      @danielsage3559 5 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Yeah what service areas is he talking about lmao.

  • @judycowan1566
    @judycowan1566 หลายเดือนก่อน +126

    the term gaslighting is from an old 1930’s movie where a husband is trying to make his wife think she is going crazy by turning down the gas lights and acting like he doesn’t see it when she mentions that the lights are not working

    • @Cactus_hug
      @Cactus_hug หลายเดือนก่อน +13

      Yes we have to tell the young ones this as they use this term but don’t know where it comes from.

    • @brennancarter7721
      @brennancarter7721 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      It’s good to know the origin of things.

    • @BlGGESTBROTHER
      @BlGGESTBROTHER หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@Cactus_hugok b00mer

    • @goodmorningsundaymorning4533
      @goodmorningsundaymorning4533 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      ​@@BlGGESTBROTHER that phrase is boring and old.

    • @BlGGESTBROTHER
      @BlGGESTBROTHER หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@goodmorningsundaymorning4533 ok, b00mer

  • @americanfirst4378
    @americanfirst4378 หลายเดือนก่อน +35

    This is my favorite Theo. He makes himself so vulnerable by basically recording a therapy session

    • @lulumoon6942
      @lulumoon6942 18 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Agreed. Am absolutely convinced he knows his comedy and persona is a front for his true life's work. People underestimating him is his Superpower.👍😍🙏

  • @mattisonjones4839
    @mattisonjones4839 หลายเดือนก่อน +23

    Fake intimacy is truly the perfect way to describe this.

  • @miamendez2878
    @miamendez2878 หลายเดือนก่อน +115

    Studied with Tim for 8 months, he's the reason I've healed so much from complex trauma and now coach others to. I absolutely loved seeing him on TPW -big fan of Theo! A surreal experience for me in the most amazing way!

    • @4Mikes4Mindset4
      @4Mikes4Mindset4 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      I second that! I was just introduced to Tim via TH-cam algorithm a couple months ago and he has reinforced my healing process exponentially. ❤

    • @ssing7113
      @ssing7113 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      What an honor

    • @MarkThrive
      @MarkThrive หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      SURREAL!!! Theo and Tim talking Complex Trauma ❤❤️‍🩹

    • @Princessbubblegum567
      @Princessbubblegum567 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Right?? He's incredible. I'm so happy the right people are finally getting the exposure. The public desperately needs his valuable and healthy lessons he teaches

    • @KootenayGarden
      @KootenayGarden หลายเดือนก่อน

      Me too, been watching him for years! ❤🇨🇦

  • @BelleMoonbeam
    @BelleMoonbeam หลายเดือนก่อน +94

    Theo’s sincerity is moving. Thank you 🥹

  • @Rebecca0010
    @Rebecca0010 หลายเดือนก่อน +27

    The thing that ultimately blows is how complex trauma kicks in when you’re finding yourself, or supposed to.

    • @eg4441
      @eg4441 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      so hard to figure your shit out when there's a screaming child in the back of your head lol

    • @pfb74
      @pfb74 23 วันที่ผ่านมา

      ​@@eg4441no seriously. It irritated me for years and then I listened to the noise and realized it was me. Changed my life. All my attention is now towards helping the poor baby inside🩷

  • @BlueskyDenver
    @BlueskyDenver หลายเดือนก่อน +14

    A lot of people never address their trauma and at some point it becomes so big, becomes way too much for them to deal with on emotional and psychological level, and they begin to collapse entirely. Some people choose drugs and alcohol, some choose sex, some choose pornography, addiction list goes on. But if you don’t deal with your stuff, you ultimately gonna repeat the cycle over and over and over again.

  • @KateElizabeth1013
    @KateElizabeth1013 หลายเดือนก่อน +70

    This is such an important conversation. Examining how trauma shapes our schemas and the way we approach relationships is life changing.

  • @MiaStayingCreative
    @MiaStayingCreative หลายเดือนก่อน +47

    I’m healing from childhood trauma. I’m 34, never had a “real” relationship in my adulthood. I’m an only child. No family of my own. Sad stuff. But just like this man said: THERE IS hope. I’m in a 12 Step Codependency Recovery meeting that I attend weekly.. I also quit porn.. and I’m gonna try and start dating this year and make a TRUE change. Thanks for this TH-cam clip yall 💖💖💖💖

    • @jumbolumps666
      @jumbolumps666 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Don't date in your first year of CoDA. You've got this!

    • @Raw.milk1
      @Raw.milk1 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Wishing you the best. I’m also an only child and struggled with porn.

    • @Allison_Antonia
      @Allison_Antonia หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      ❤❤❤

  • @JJ-me4yu
    @JJ-me4yu หลายเดือนก่อน +65

    THEO OUT HERE HAVING THE CONVERSATIONS WE ALL NEED TO HAVE!💜☮️

    • @bubba10051
      @bubba10051 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      So true

  • @annettemarado3668
    @annettemarado3668 หลายเดือนก่อน +43

    I pray for him. I can relate. I found my love at age 49. I’m blessed.

    • @Portia620
      @Portia620 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      With all these games and no honesty …how? I’m about ready to be done and just started.

    • @Allison_Antonia
      @Allison_Antonia หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ❤❤❤

    • @akuasalaam490
      @akuasalaam490 9 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Blessed indeed!

  • @JasonUceda
    @JasonUceda หลายเดือนก่อน +56

    Today literally marks a year that my ex left me, this video helps a lot. Daily reminder, always stay truly happy with yourself. Have a blessing day y’all.

  • @birdo88
    @birdo88 หลายเดือนก่อน +37

    Wow. I love Theo for admitting these things about himself.

  • @benf1111
    @benf1111 หลายเดือนก่อน +36

    Damn. This dude's honesty and vulnerability. Much respect.

  • @JB-og7cu
    @JB-og7cu หลายเดือนก่อน +30

    Felt like a fly on the wall in a room of one of Theo's therapy session. Wasn't sure if I should fly away or keep eavesdropping.

    • @Monalisa0622
      @Monalisa0622 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Glad you stayed check out Tim fletcher. He's amazing. Don't know how this came up in my feed. I don't know who Theo is but Tim fletcher I do. 🥰

  • @SadisticKid.
    @SadisticKid. หลายเดือนก่อน +42

    Theo, I want you to know that I think you are brave as hell. Love you, Brother. God bless you.

  • @Dexter-300
    @Dexter-300 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

    I suffered terrible mental and physical abuse as a child right up until I was 16. My father died when I was 8 and my mother absolutely destroyed me. Every day is a struggle but watching this gives me hope for the future and I get some understanding why I struggle in my life. If anyone else is struggling, talk with your friends or seek professional help like I am. God bless you all 🙏

  • @SAINTLAURENTPAPI
    @SAINTLAURENTPAPI หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    THE WORLD IS NOT BECOMING TRAUMATIZED, WE ARE BECOMING MORE EMPATHETIC AND UNDERSTANDING ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

  • @shadcovert1160
    @shadcovert1160 หลายเดือนก่อน +46

    Ive been alone for over 10byears now. 33 years old. Still think of her every single day, throughout the day, missing her, pissed at myself. She was absolutely wonderful. Just wildly beautiful inside and out. So so good to me. I cant say the same of myself. If i could go back in time, id beat the everliving shit outta me. Since then ive learned why i treated her the eay i did, and i know now i was taking my internal pain, self hate, self worth/esteem issues out on her. And that was SO wrong. I blew it. Bigtime. I Feel like the best of my life has come and gone. I sure hope im wrong.

    • @powderandpaint14
      @powderandpaint14 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      Absolutely, you can move forward and meet someone who is right for you now.

    • @nonnie8388
      @nonnie8388 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      The best of your life is yet to come bc you have grown more than you realize by recognizing and owning what happened in your relationship that caused it to end. Accept the fact that it was an extremely difficult time in your life and you survived with insight that will give you peace heading into your future.

    • @PS-qn4oz
      @PS-qn4oz หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      For many people it's just easier to romanticize someone when they are gone.

    • @888alp
      @888alp หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      We all make mistakes and relationships are not easy. It will happen dont be affraid, you acknowledged it and that’s freedom. Good luck 👼🏼💪🏻🙏🏻

    • @whatdoyoulivefor735
      @whatdoyoulivefor735 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      It's true there's plenty of fish in the sea.

  • @MidwestLori77
    @MidwestLori77 หลายเดือนก่อน +49

    Thank you for being so open and vulnerable.

  • @connieriopelle2145
    @connieriopelle2145 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    I hope Theo finds a strong woman worth continuing his healing

    • @ScoutGrey
      @ScoutGrey หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      me too...he deserves a human who will be there for him...if he listens to Tim, he has hope.

  • @ERRNCAM1
    @ERRNCAM1 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    Thank you for your candidness. I'm a woman, and hearing it from a guy explains a lot and is healing. I've had childhood trauma and see myself being responsible for the feelings of others, being gaslighted from childhood by dysfunctional parents, and later in marriage. Thank you for this, and thank you the most for being so honest.

  • @blockingtrash3578
    @blockingtrash3578 หลายเดือนก่อน +28

    Theo you brought on Time Fletcher!? OMG I love it! Bro you are growing!!

  • @ALTheFreeMan
    @ALTheFreeMan หลายเดือนก่อน +27

    I’m in my 40s, never married, no kids, and I used to think that I was just “bad at relationships”. It was only until recently I’ve come to realize just how much damage was caused by me being abused as a kid. In my younger days, I thought that making it through all that just made me “tougher”, now I realize that it just made me straaaaanger, lol. For those suffering with C-PTSD, maybe a “healthy” relationship isn’t the answer, perhaps we simply need to find the “Harley Quinn” to our Joker, and vice versa???

    • @rdub8168
      @rdub8168 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Exactly. I relate to all you said. We didn’t have access to all this free therapy growing up.

    • @Portia620
      @Portia620 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Not sure about that either. 😢

    • @Portia620
      @Portia620 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I wonder why so many men are no kids or wife and assume they are players.

    • @blucantrell2
      @blucantrell2 19 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Yes. Healthygamergg channel has a video about this. Matching traumas and growing together.

    • @jacobsmith1105
      @jacobsmith1105 15 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I wish for a harley quinn but unfortunately things do not work that way.

  • @De6d
    @De6d หลายเดือนก่อน +24

    Right there with you theo, tough as hell being in a relationship atm coming from a non affectionate childhood

  • @pdubs1408
    @pdubs1408 หลายเดือนก่อน +22

    If someone is looking for a place to start. Look into attachment styles, specifically avoidant attachment. That's what theo is talking about.
    Happened to me. Rugged pulled from a 7 year relationship from thinking over a weekend. Someone who thought running was a better solution than discussing those concerns. Stay strong everyone.

    • @wojo6212
      @wojo6212 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Happened to me recently, 2.5 months ago. I’m healing now. I think she’s unaware but I wish she could see the stuff I’m seeing.

    • @MrMan-fx3ow
      @MrMan-fx3ow หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Nothing good comes from dealing with people who treat others that way. It sucks, I’ve been there too. All you can do is remind yourself that you did the best you could to nurture the situation and make a genuine effort to connect with someone you liked. You put your best foot forward, it didn’t work out but now it’s time to close that door and move forward

    • @josephbrown9685
      @josephbrown9685 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      That’s rough. I unknowingly had a two year relationship with an avoidant. I wasn’t aware of attachment styles at the time. Her behavior was so bizarre to me, and it was impossible to know what to do. It’s like there were no right answers.

    • @pdubs1408
      @pdubs1408 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @josephbrown9685 it best to take that period of isolation and hit the books. The discard was 4 months ago and I haven't heard a word from her. It demolishes your self esteem when someone you felt had your back decides to bail rather than communicate. Icing on the cake was asking me to be friends after. Don't beat yourself up more than you have to. It's best to express gratitude of the time spent, take what happened at face value and hope they save themselves from themselves. It's truly sad, people who yearn for love and acceptance but won't allow themselves to and let fear win.

    • @josephbrown9685
      @josephbrown9685 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@pdubs1408 Well said. It’s been over a year since we were in a relationship together and we talked yesterday after having no contact for several months. She mentioned about wanting to be friends but I told her that I can’t be only friends. I actually still care about her but I know I can’t solve everything for her. Sorry to hear about what you went through and hope you are doing better now.

  • @DuaneMcknight
    @DuaneMcknight หลายเดือนก่อน +51

    You're onto something good, keep it rolling

  • @JackieKowalski
    @JackieKowalski หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    Not the colab we expected, but the colab we needed!!

  • @rex8958
    @rex8958 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    Theo will never realize how many life’s he has saved. Obviously it is up to ones own self to get sober but Theo having hours and hours of content to lean on helps tremendously. I quit at the end of last December and relapsed recently, I’ve found myself listening to Theo again like I did earlier in the year. God f-Ing bless Theo Von, sobriety is worth it, never think it isn’t. Learn from your relapse and make sure it will be a one time hiccup

  • @andrewkratz226
    @andrewkratz226 หลายเดือนก่อน +26

    This is great. I appreciate Theo’s honesty and vulnerability.

  • @christinefreberg
    @christinefreberg หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    The level of intimacy and vulnerability that Theo lets us into is a gift. It’s admirable and such an honor to watch. As a therapist, this is such a powerful tool for people to see and help achieve transformation in their lives! Way to go! Keep it up 🎉

  • @lailahreich3205
    @lailahreich3205 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    Tim is a gift. Truly.

  • @asorsh3
    @asorsh3 หลายเดือนก่อน +23

    Thank you for always being genuine and having real guests. Real conversations our society needs. ❤

  • @hopeabraham1
    @hopeabraham1 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    The realest person on social. Authentic

  • @KevinSanchez-ub3yh
    @KevinSanchez-ub3yh หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    I just realized how much I’ve been gas lit my whole childhood.what an eye opener.

  • @toliver8898
    @toliver8898 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    I had a realization during this convo. The parent is always made out to be the root cause and then the child becomes what they are because of it. The thing is, the oarent was once a child too, and they likely had complex trauma that made them that way towards their kids. Every generation is just another layer of trauma and when you stack up enough generations, you see what a hopeless situation we’re all in unless we break the generational trauma

    • @Night.League
      @Night.League หลายเดือนก่อน

      Trauma is gay

  • @thehubrisoftheunivris2432
    @thehubrisoftheunivris2432 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I really like this guest. He's got a lot of good stuff on TH-cam about narcissism and trauma and such.

  • @brandinator1996
    @brandinator1996 หลายเดือนก่อน +21

    I needed to see this so much today. I'm struggling a lot right now.

  • @ImSimplyAHuman
    @ImSimplyAHuman หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    Ahhh I love Tim fisher!!! What an awesome crossover.
    I love that he speaks to both religious and non religious folks in such a respectful, scientifically informed way ❤️

  • @adrianimee8665
    @adrianimee8665 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    I can relate to Von sooo much. Wish I could find someone exactly like him

  • @jerediahgonzalez2315
    @jerediahgonzalez2315 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    More people need to listen to Tim Fletcher. His knowledge is second to none. I was never an addict but I've suffered from CPTSD. His videos have been saving my life along with DBT and stoicism.

  • @damanodrama
    @damanodrama หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I listen to Tim Fletcher daily. He is part of my day when I am cleaning my house or doing projects his lectures are always on the background. ❤

  • @psychedelicbookworm
    @psychedelicbookworm หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    Theo! Thank you so much for having Tim Fletcher on your show! I discovered him about four years ago and learned so much from him about childhood trauma. You are helping many people by having him on your show, including me. Looking forward to watching the full episode.

  • @ievastola8271
    @ievastola8271 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    thank you so much for sharing this. I feel less alone. I’m 22 and I’ve been in and out relationships since 16. And I’ve always found myself soaked in guilt and disappointment from my cheating behaviour. Losing and constantly having hope that it’ll get better.
    I loved so much yet always ended up committing to hurtful decisions.
    Thank you so much for this.

  • @miamor1212
    @miamor1212 6 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Sometimes it takes a certain person who is more important than our trauma to come along and incentivize the process.

  • @mmknzz
    @mmknzz หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    Totally admire how honest Theo was… because it can in effect help so many others who feel/ have felt like this

    • @BlGGESTBROTHER
      @BlGGESTBROTHER หลายเดือนก่อน

      Its cool to be honest and all but if you never change your actions then what is the point. Like with theo admitting he's cheated in every relationship. That's a great firsr step but if he never actually stops himself from cheating then it comes off as fake pandering.

  • @Highvibin213
    @Highvibin213 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    After having a traumatic childhood . We tend to carry that and get an identical, romantic relationships, I’m 43 and after staying alone for 10 years and working on myself I am finally ready to give a healthy relationship a try. I struggle in the romantic department . Finding a real authentic connection is hard. Especially these days .

  • @Cattyboomstix69
    @Cattyboomstix69 หลายเดือนก่อน +22

    This resonates HARD! Thanking you so much for having this conversation and sharing it🙏🏼

  • @andreadebiasio8883
    @andreadebiasio8883 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    OMG... I finally understand myself after watching this clip and I'm 60. Thank u so much. Mind blown 💣

  • @kennywilkinson9270
    @kennywilkinson9270 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Theo is the absolute best. Using his comedy to ease into these topics is great and allows people to connect on a level that doesn’t feel uncomfortable. This hit the nail on the head for me and so many others I know. Thank you Theo for sharing your friends and research from your own journey with all of us.

  • @KyOte13
    @KyOte13 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    It makes me feel so much better to know how fucked up everyone is

  • @mickricho
    @mickricho หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    Theo’s journey is truly inspirational. From the stories with Joey Diaz to things he talks about openly, with a full heart and without judgement to the guests he has on, it’s like we can live with him through his process alongside which I am so happy to be able to lean in to his courage. When two great separate circles meet you know you’re on to something. I have no doubt it is resonating with so many people and it is people like him this world needs now more than ever. Super cheesy I know but I wanted to share. Thank you so much, Theo!!

  • @carriedolha788
    @carriedolha788 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Appreciate the honesty.
    Our generations seem to be filled with trauma from generations before us.
    We're the cusp, the elbow of trajectory for big changes of the generations to come.

  • @sloth6247
    @sloth6247 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Tim Fletcher is an expert.

  • @eastwood111
    @eastwood111 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Thank you for being so upfront and honest!

  • @jenfehr1
    @jenfehr1 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I cannot even begin to express how happy I am to see Tim Fletcher getting out into the world and media. I was blessed and fortunate enough to have Tim as a teacher in a treatment facility in Winnipeg, Canada. He taught me SO MUCH. And still does with his TH-cam videos. I hope more and more people hear what he has to say. I believe he has the ability to heal people with all of the incredible information he has obtained. Keep doing your thing, Tim!! 😁

  • @coralialarios3275
    @coralialarios3275 29 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I appreciate you sharing this on your platform. I hope so many people in our communities take heed. 🙏🏼

  • @iragarcia2186
    @iragarcia2186 8 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    I applaud this man for his balls. Theo keep staying true brother. ❤❤❤❤

  • @louisesjoholm7684
    @louisesjoholm7684 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Theo seems like such a good guy.

  • @77SunnyDazeInDecember
    @77SunnyDazeInDecember หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    Thank You! Seriously, Thank You, Theo, for having this guest on to talk about these things. Much, much needed!

  • @radior0se
    @radior0se หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I’ve been thinking about an episode like this for like 2 years. Ilysm thank you for being real I think I have been starving for someone to reflect the difficult things I feel in media.

  • @user-uh5tb9er4o
    @user-uh5tb9er4o หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    youre doing a great job, Theo. i appreciate what youre creating here

  • @wojo6212
    @wojo6212 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    I like how open Theo is. It’s brave and intriguing.

  • @joesmitty34
    @joesmitty34 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    I always realize theos fan base is always supportive and relating. Thats always good harmony 💙

  • @JuanitaGrande
    @JuanitaGrande หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Bless you, Theo.
    You are doing important Work here.
    Peace from France.
    🌻

  • @CatsPaw-vx2zz
    @CatsPaw-vx2zz หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Tim has helped me soooo much! I’ve been listening to his videos for months. Thanks for having him on!!!!

  • @whynot4
    @whynot4 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    This guest you had is amazing everyone needs to listen to him ❤

  • @timcravens9927
    @timcravens9927 19 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Way to go Theo for being so transparent. I think that just makes people feel like they can too. You’re doing a great job. God Bless you Bro 👊

  • @Karen-nq2nc
    @Karen-nq2nc หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Love Theo's openness!!

  • @unknowntosociety01
    @unknowntosociety01 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    theo you the realest! I learn so much bout myself through you and its therapeutic

  • @joni38
    @joni38 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Can't thank you enough for this one Theo. It was really eye-opening, and healing for me. Tim is a genius! Sending love, peace, and prayers your way.

  • @rickyspanish6261
    @rickyspanish6261 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Theo!! Thank you for actually going through and voicing yourself. Iv NEVER heard anyone actually admit there real HEAVY baggage they carry into relationships, and that has its roots in yourself and not the other person. Theres a very common trope where folks blame thier roots of trauma on the new person in their life, giving them the love and time the one who hurt them NEVER did.

  • @robinedwards8796
    @robinedwards8796 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I really appreciate this conversation. I think every person needs to know this.

  • @volusize
    @volusize หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Theo, thank you for being so candid about yourself. I think most of us who care and have empathy can relate

  • @bubba10051
    @bubba10051 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Thank-you Theo for your honesty . This discussion really hit home to me.

  • @karenlebron-morales8672
    @karenlebron-morales8672 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you, Theo, for your courage and strength. Admitting vulnerability is difficult. Respect to you, Sir.

  • @denisewittman975
    @denisewittman975 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Theo you are helping so many people by being so honest about yourself

  • @hayleymort5906
    @hayleymort5906 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    LOVE Tim Fletcher! His series on TH-cam is amazing! From Canada 🇨🇦

  • @Lotuslaful
    @Lotuslaful หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Really appreciate the honesty
    ❤🙏🏻❤

  • @sjcosten
    @sjcosten หลายเดือนก่อน

    This is so powerful. Thank you for helping people heal.

  • @queenprotein
    @queenprotein 5 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Such honesty. I am blown away

  • @beckymagnolia1
    @beckymagnolia1 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I've been on my own for two years so I can work on my trauma issues. It's not easy but I'm a better person because of it. Theo is one amazing hero for doing the hard work and sharing it with us.

  • @Nathanjoseph-7
    @Nathanjoseph-7 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Thank you for this podcast theo

  • @jaynsilentboom
    @jaynsilentboom 20 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Tim is an amazing teacher. No wonder he has popped up on my feed recently. Probably from this show which boosted his algorithm. Not complaining at all. It has really helped me continue my journey as a healing human from some nasty stuff.