How to Heal From Past Trauma, and Find Forgiveness
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 มิ.ย. 2024
- Excerpt from This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #495 | Trauma Expert Tim Fletcher
Full Episode: • Trauma Expert Tim Flet...
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#TheoVon #TimFletcher #ThisPastWeekend #TheoVonClips #Trauma #traumahealing #Shame - ตลก
9 years ago my wife left, divorced and married another man. 4 kids. I’ve never been right since. I was a generally a content healthy bio, social, spiritual, relational person. Now, I despise people genuinely asking me how I am doing. I’m not doing well and I haven’t been doing well for 10 years. Complex trauma is for real. I feel like the women in the bible with the issue of the blood. The harder I try to heal and the more I spend, the worse it gets. Please help me heal Jesus.
First its okay to feel that way. Have u been in therapy?
Forgive yourself for the suffering you have endured so far, forgive your ex for the decisions she made that effected you in a negative way and look for all the beauty in your life and keep working towards what will help your life.
I'm sorry brother. You are not alone.
Same here. It took 10 years it find myself again. I’m glad she’s gone now. Been missing the life I wanted to live.
I feel that. Almost like I’m just a constant state of angry and not give a shit. I just don’t care about anything anymore. 4 years now.
This guest is a genius. This has to be taught in schools.
Helping others and working a homestead taking care of goats, chickens, pigs. Moved to the mountains to escape the city.
My homestead is here
@dragonrider9051 @eobbobsjobs8455 well done to you both, and your magnificent beards
Ever since this came out, I listen to it almost twice a day.
That makes so much sense.
Prayer was the best therapist I ever found. I had complex ptsd and made it to the other side 100% because of God
Amen
"Complex" PTSD does not exist, it is not a disorder in the DSM and was explicitly created as a term for people who *do* *not* have PTSD but want to. In order to "have" "complex" PTSD you literally have to *rule* *out* actual PTSD.
@@Khoros-Mythos What on earth are you yapping about? Why would anyone "want to" have ptsd? Cptsd and ptsd can co-exist, they are just labels. The DSM is just a book written by people, just because some diagnosis isn't there doesn't mean it isn't real. How old are you dude?
"well that person is a politician" 😭😭
I dont think some people realize the double joke he made there 😂
@@dejax9 I had to look at the comments before i said anything haha'
Omg! Tim Fletcher! His videos have helped me so much.
Surrendering my life to God, Complete sobriety, and practicing Celibacy & therapy saved my life. I had to turn my back on life as I knew it and walk a whole new path. I allowed Christ to do a New Thing in my life. It was the best decision I have ever made.
I love, ❤️ Tim Fletcher. I took his program in 2021. If you want to find a sophisticated, and loving experience, a safe place, take his courses. There is support, after you finish ! It’s amazing. Thank you Tim, for helping me.
Thank you. I didn’t think to look to see if he had any offerings. Definitely interested
Do you mean on-line programs or on-site?
@@catw5294 there is both !
@@catw5294 hello he offers both.
I took lift that was online.
I think we all have the inner child inside of us.
Probably
Yep!! And even that lil fucker needs help ❤
PAUSE 😂
True. Some people have a very wounded one, others have a relatively nurtured one, some have an extremely fragmented one, to name a few
@@jaymysterio4197 mine is messed up
Recovering from cptsd.
Now teach dramatic arts therapy - hits all 5 areas required for healing and growth -
Agree to heal we must treat the whole person.
Your videos are seriously cool, keep 'em coming!
My mom passed in 2018 from Lupus and a CVA. I can accept what happened knowing she's free from pain, but I'll still hurt everyday.
That shows me, a total stranger, what a great Mother she was. You just told a billion people about her on youtube. Imagine telling her childhood self, that THAT many people would know about her. Wild right? But it’s true. I’m sorry for your loss. I love my mom, and I know you do.
That fucking sucks man. I can’t imagine. One day I’ll have to deal with losing my parents too, it’s scary. Let me know how your healing goes, praying for you
This is great, thanks for giving him a platform. I've been in C-PTSD treatment for 12 years and everything he said rings true. Pete Walkers book "From Surviving to Thriving" is a great reference as well.
Tim Fletcher is great! I’ve worked my ass off for 6 years on CPTSD, trying everything and finally have more or less healed…it’s really difficult but so worth it!
How
@mattng4707 Check out the book "Complex PTSD Surviving to Thriving by Peter Walker"
Its a great resource for trauma
Try reading “from surviving to thriving”. There is a workbook too. Good stuff
This guy nails it. I’m glad Theo had him on
Thank you for having him on. He is a profound teacher. Kudos to you both.
I feel Theo. I know exactly how he feels. I have complex PTSD & it has literally worn my ass out and on SO many levels! It's one busy ass disorder. Have your ass sitting up there in a Texas sized tired.
Have a great day anyone who reads this 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉❤
Same to you!
I’ll rip a pack to that! Thanks brother!
@Solitary-Birds ty
@@pvillelde ty
Thanks you too!!
I am so thankful for this man!! Thank you Mr. Fletcher and than you Theo for having him on your show
It's a reminder that rebuilding trust in relationships can lay a strong foundation for long-term healing and growth 💖.
I've been working with hypnotists for years doing exactly this. I am so much better. Now I am working on my relationships directly. Forgiveness and grief have been the stuck points. This has been an incredibly rewarding process.
This was an enormously positive episode that I could see being life changing for a great number of people. Y'all covered some stuff that took me a decade to gather from all over and piece together for myself.
Great discussion, Theo
Tim is the man
Really loved this guys. Thank u❤
LOVE TIM FLETCHER !! Omg so unexpected to see him as a guest here ❤
my fav part is the paper he had which clearly shows he works harder for everything then many think
Two of my favourite people ❤
Thanks Theo
TY TIM- SO IMPORTANT @ 9:45 ish in - Theo asked about “Forgiveness” and one key thing you said IS ABOUT THE BRAIN!!
When doing all the therapeutic work w/ Trauma Therapy- the further you get into it, the Limbic system in our brains will not react the same way as before- the wounds/triggers won’t be there as they were BEFORE.
So many people don’t know about ALL THE BRAIN STUFF- THE NEURO SCIENCE- IN TRAUMA AND TRAUMA WORK/THERAPY.
And you don’t have to be a brain surgeon to learn this stuff guys, you can learn it! And really, you HAVE to &/or be open & willing to learn about it for Complex Trauma and any therapeutic work for it.
❤️❤️
The How old do I feel part got me good
This is really fucking spectacular! Worded so perfectly, so relevant, thank you.
❤ thank you so much for speaking about this
You look good girl, got IG?
Just ran across your comment and Girl!! You look a lot like Carrie Underwood!
this is the most insane crossover I did not see coming.
You must not know much about Theo then.
I had a very traumatic child hood and early years followed by more trauma and rough years self medicated with drugs and alcohol since the age of 12 . Finally spent 90 days inpatient and got some help in my 30’s remd therapy helped me but I fell off the wagon again a ways after my only daughter punched her own ticket. and am now going through a nasty divorce 3 sons … I am now back in therapy in my early 40’s . Cptsd sucks and requires constant upkeep to not fall back into old patterns.
I pray for you to have strength and courage to continue on the path. It’s not an easy road but not an impossible one.
1:27 Theo utilizing his imaginary footstool
Thank you for pointing that out! 😂
Love theo big fan since the early days with joey diaz
I don't believe i can ever be healthy enough for a romantic relationship. Just getting to the end of my life, without killing myself, will do.
Relatable
What’s with the deer in a headlight look with Theo ?
That person is a politician 😊
Theo, you should get Professor Sam Vaknin on the show!!!!
for years i trying to find help but nothing seems to work and i hate all those therapists they all are shit
Just got out of rehab I was on meth 40 days straight u DETOX first 2 or 3 days then u go see therapists and counselors to get to root of issue
We do demonstrate summoning only.
Well that person is a politician 😂😂😂
❤
God is great
For me, cats are the answer for unlimited love. Good luck y’all.
❤️🌴🐈🐈🐈🌴🏴☠️
Cats are evil 😂
Hey im with ya on that one. Limitless love forever!
Maybe you giving, cant imagine any receiving.
How to know or be aware of the triggers of the trauma that you aren't aware of?
Say for example a particular song comes on, a song that makes you feel real uncomfortable and you have to turn it off every time because of the feeling it gives you but you don’t know why - That kind of thing, trauma behind that could be something like you were abused as a child and that song was playing in the background - That song is the trigger for the trauma you didn’t realise matched with it - That’s my understanding of it anyway
Ty ❤@@danbrown9
For me, it’s when I can tell that I’m having a “fight, flight, or freeze” response to something. When I get triggered, I notice that I’ll get physically tense, I can’t complete tasks that need to get done because I’m mentally stuck in whatever moment in the past I’m brought back to from that trigger, I can become extremely reserved, and sometimes I’ll have mental dialogues or imaginary conversations going on in my head where I’m raging over trying to defend myself to someone who caused a certain part of severe trauma for me. That’s at least what it’s like for me, personally.
@@RandyJaneewow it’s like you described exactly what happens in my head when I’m emotion triggered
@@RandyJanee Feel you on that as well, at least being able to acknowledge that is a good foundation to have, and then trying to work through it albeit not easy, definitely worth it. “We’ve all got our own Vietnam”
We all have different personalities living inside of us? Don't know about that.
What if your inner child likes to break windows?
Well, they need some therapy.
❤
@@stacytw79 I thought I was shadow banned. You actually saw my comment?
What does he mean by a trigger though? I can see how logically it fits in, but not picture anything practical?
Generally, any (bigger than normal) emotional or physical response that you have to a situation. Sometimes it makes sense (someone says something that reminds you of something bad that happened to you), but sometimes it doesn’t make as much sense why we get triggered. It’s really important people understand that what “triggered” really is - is a physiological response in the nervous system that activates us to that “fight/flight/freeze” state.
locate the trauma with the Theta brainwave, Theta Healing x
My father would mentally abuse me as a child cause I was in special Ed from 6-12 grade.
i go to therapy so the therapy becomes better. i see a shrink, not a therapist because a therapist is not there to cure, they are support
Insinuating that a psych is there to cure is hilarious. Figure out a way to remove yourself from big pharma brother, and you’ll find health is finally possible with that therapists.
Braindead psy
I can 2nd that. None of them can heal ya bro but youd be better on relying on doctors to numb the issues.
A G A Y😂😂😂
'Bio- psycho-social-spiritual'. Well! That about covers it.
A gay he said
A high dose of CBD works wonders
What has your experience with CBD been like?
@@ryanwood8341 Very good. It calms the mind down and regulates the nervous system
@@SuperJAMSYBOI cool I'm gonna try some, thanks
Teal swan is a trauma expert let's get her on the podcast
Theo- NO.
tim ... compassionate inquiry is not a 'new' term. Gabor has been using that language for decades.
1st
Being healthy is too difficult.
Life isn't sustainable.
forgiveness is bullshit. hold that grudge till death. there are really no safe people. I'm 59 I've just let things happen and I've tried to connect. People are cold and closed off. I'm not saying other people are bad or sick I'm saying society isn't interested in being your friend. Expecting someone to be your friend is a waste of time. Expecting anything from another human is your main problem. If you can't have a real healthy relationship you can't have any relationship. Bottom line is, people don't want others for real reasons for love they want 'something' from the other person. Until you come across someone that just wants to be friends but doesn't want or expect anything from you then you have found yourself. Until then you're alone in the world. Our parents are supposed to model this healthy balanced relationship but who can say their parents were healthy and balanced? What you think you should expect of others you should expect of yourself and that will come to you. You can let trauma destroy you or you can let it keep you safe. You eliminate toxic people from your circle. Most of all you toughen up so nothing can hurt you emotionally. It's really easy. Nobody can touch you if they're not inside your heart. Keep your heart safe from those toxic people. Be strong because you will never be able to count on others to keep you safe.
Yes, and building walls to protect yourself from the bad people is the very thing that keeps the good ones out! Clear indicator that someone is emotionally damaged. I see it in the dating world all the time...people afraid to connect becuase it requires VULNERABILITY. We can't be vulnerable and authentic if we're too scared to open up...and if we're too scared to open up, there's no possibility of relationships with others. We end up self-sabotaging when things get too intimate.
You are isolating and shutting down. That's a trauma response. You gotta work through that dude! There are some really great people out there! But you'll never know them if you're closed off to them.
Also, forgiveness is'nt for the people that hurt you. No, no, no! Forgiveness is for YOU. You forgive the person/people that hurt you because it is good for YOU, not them. They don't even have to know that you've forgiven them. Forgiveness is meant for us to get rid of OUR anger, bitterness, and resentment for the perpetrator who hurt us. Forgiving them does'nt mean that what they did was "ok". It definitely was'nt.
If we don't forgive what was done to us, we will never heal.
@@AndrewTannerMusic I"ve never seen a person that traumatized me change. I leave them behind in life. Not my problem. I don't need to forgive them to forget them and move on. I don't need to follow someone else's advice to recover from being traumatized. If you're emotionally damaged then what can you do about it? Forgiveness is bs. When people do things by volition they know they're hurting you but they do it anyway. You don't forgive that. I never forgive a person who has knowingly wronged me. If you make a mistake and you ask you're forgiven no questions asked. I'm civilized but I refuse to give forgiveness to scum that abuse others. I'm wide open to good people. I refuse to deal with toxic idiots. I'm none of the things you claim here. I'm a human being trying to navigate my way through a gauntlet of narcissists and I won't give an inch to these bastards. Forgiveness doesn't help me it makes me feel like I let them walk across my back and didn't stand up for myself. I don't think we're talking about the same people. I'm basically talking about my narcissistic parents that abused and tortured me my whole life and I survived to 59. They did what they did knowing full well the damage they were causing. I'm stronger than you can even imagine and I don't need weak idiots in my life. If real people come along I connect with them because I can see that they're not toxic. I don't have bitterness and resentment those are childish reactions. I have understanding and resolve. I have the power to defend myself against these people that try to take advantage of me. If you're an honest person I'm more than willing to be wide open. Vulnerability comes with life we all have to make ourselves accessible to people we care about but we can refuse to deal with scum and we can hold a grudge without hurting ourselves. I just don't forget and if you've wronged me I never will allow you into my life. I could give a fuck what you do with that and I'm moving on without any concerns. It's that easy. If you remind me of them I'll simply say fuck that person and move on. I don't need to ruminate about idiots I've left in my dust. I'm looking to the horizon for good people and that's all I see the rest of it is background noise. Recognizing the noise and avoiding it is the game.