One thing that's helped me was seeing my pictures as a kid and saying I'm gonna get better because this kid deserves to be happy as a man . God Bless Us All 🙏
A pastor once told me that forgiveness of others relieves ourselves from hatred in our hearts, but it doesn’t mean we need to trust them again. Not one of us is perfect.
I forgave my mother and it healed me. I also cut her out of my life. 20 years later I ended up living with her and caring for my father as he died over 18 months. I hate her now. I watched what she did to him (I caught her trying to k!!! him several times) I will never forgive her. I realize now when I was forgiving her I was seeing her as weak, which she is, but like a child with some innocence, which she isn't. I'm still working on this but it's shown me that sometimes forgiving someone can harm us.
@@rosiedixon98just so you know, it’s okay to not forgive. I was a crossfire victim of forgiveness too. Do what you can to heal yourself, with all the boundaries you need.
9 years ago my wife left, divorced and married another man. 4 kids. I’ve never been right since. I was generally a content healthy bio, social, spiritual, relational person. Now, I despise people genuinely asking me how I am doing. I’m not doing well and I haven’t been doing well for 10 years. Complex trauma is for real. I feel like the women in the bible with the issue of the blood. The harder I try to heal and the more I spend, the worse it gets. Please help me heal Jesus.
Forgive yourself for the suffering you have endured so far, forgive your ex for the decisions she made that effected you in a negative way and look for all the beauty in your life and keep working towards what will help your life.
My son was murdered almost 4 years ago. Shot dead in cold blood while visiting NYC for the first time. Just sitting on the porch of an Airbnb minding his own business. The anger and rage and severe depression have nearly broken me and my wife. It’s been really terrible. One thing I was told to do was WALK. I have walked so much. And while I walk, I pray. And while I pray, I remind myself that I am not in charge, God is. I ask for Grace,understanding and healing. It is coming. Slowly, but it is coming. As mentioned here, when I feel a memory if I’m able to, I try to think about it confront it. I tried ignoring it. But you have to relive the trauma to process. I don’t suppose I’ll ever be totally OK, but trauma is a total monster.
EMDR is a really great treatment for trauma. Yoga and meditation (along with prayer) saved me when I lost 3 close family members within the span of 5 years. Praying for you and your wife.
god bless you. there’s no such thing as a normal or reasonable response to what you’ve been thru . only a non linear and unpredictable response. work slowly to understand what you’ve been thru and work from there
My girlfriend Jasmine just sent this to me. I know im a good man but I struggle with things just like anyone else. I want to be a better person and I am trying.
You got this! We all struggle, we’ve all been traumatized, you are not alone. The worst trick our minds play on us is making us think we are alone in our trauma. Trauma, hardship is a part of life. Find people who love you, and find community that cares for each other. It’s a journey.
Got you in my prayers man I’m on the same page found out my girls pregnant and I just wanna be the best person I can be for them wishing you peace and prosperity from Canada
I send videos to my bf & he doesn’t even watch them most of the time… I know I deserve better but at the same time I think “if I was being a good gf, he would”…🤦♀️..
"Complex" PTSD does not exist, it is not a disorder in the DSM and was explicitly created as a term for people who *do* *not* have PTSD but want to. In order to "have" "complex" PTSD you literally have to *rule* *out* actual PTSD.
@@Khoros-Mythos What on earth are you yapping about? Why would anyone "want to" have ptsd? Cptsd and ptsd can co-exist, they are just labels. The DSM is just a book written by people, just because some diagnosis isn't there doesn't mean it isn't real. How old are you dude?
@@Khoros-Mythosnot only were you incapable to doing a quick good search, but you also attack and belittle others. Try to be more kind. PTSD is usually caused from a singular traumatic event like witnessing a death. while C-PTSD is caused when someone experiences trauma again and again over a prolonged period of time.
Oh baby, I hope one day it gets better for you. Trust me I get it but at the end of the day we go through a lot of different emotions /feelings and the crap sometimes just suck! So we have to find ourselves a new normal even if means just appreciating the simple things in life. Sending love dear from Dallas you keep pushing through❤
Tim Fletcher is great! I’ve worked my ass off for 6 years on CPTSD, trying everything and finally have more or less healed…it’s really difficult but so worth it!
Surrendering my life to God, Complete sobriety, and practicing Celibacy & therapy saved my life. I had to turn my back on life as I knew it and walk a whole new path. I allowed Christ to do a New Thing in my life. It was the best decision I have ever made.
When I was 14yrs I watched my mum walk down an airplane ramp going back to Wales 🏴…. I was supposed to follow after the school year (all bollocks and lies) My father then thought that it was best if he bought a townhouse for me to live in alone (age14yrs) while he lived with my “stepmother” and raised her two children who happened to be the same age as me….stepbrother was 9 days older than me…stepsister was 1 year younger than me)….. I had to do everything…cook for myself…do my own laundry…get myself to school (the only thing that saved me was that I was smart and I liked school knowing I was going to university)…. The trauma left just from those experiences are profound (and there was more trauma…more obstacles put in my way)…. I’m 18 months sober age 61 and this will NEVER go away…. the hurt lessens….but it will always influence my life and choices
You sound like you're on the right path. I too was thrust into.adulthood overnight. It's a miracle that I'm here today. Welcome to the rest of your life! We are basically the same age, you and I. The whole world has really changed, hasn't it...?
I love, ❤️ Tim Fletcher. I took his program in 2021. If you want to find a sophisticated, and loving experience, a safe place, take his courses. There is support, after you finish ! It’s amazing. Thank you Tim, for helping me.
I been doing this the last 10 years. Relearning things I was taught wrong from the start. It's like a never ending battle man. I never feel like it's over.
I cannot say how excited I was to see that he is a guest. I’ve listened to his series many times and it is the best most comprehensive info I’ve come across for healing, and understanding.
Boy, this guy is amazing. What a gift he has for breaking down trauma and human frailty. Theo’s vulnerability and honesty about himself is endearing and admirable, too. ❤
I've been working with hypnotists for years doing exactly this. I am so much better. Now I am working on my relationships directly. Forgiveness and grief have been the stuck points. This has been an incredibly rewarding process.
I used self-hynpnosis for test anxiety. The Idea of going to my safe room helped me with anxiety.The hardest lesson with forgiveness is forgiving myself.
I've been following Tim's channel since 2021 when I began to understand my own childhood trauma. Along with my amazing therapist and his wisdom I'm feeling "normal" for the first time in my 64 years on the planet. I can't say enough about how his teachings have helped me get my life back.
This is great, thanks for giving him a platform. I've been in C-PTSD treatment for 12 years and everything he said rings true. Pete Walkers book "From Surviving to Thriving" is a great reference as well.
This was an enormously positive episode that I could see being life changing for a great number of people. Y'all covered some stuff that took me a decade to gather from all over and piece together for myself.
That shows me, a total stranger, what a great Mother she was. You just told a billion people about her on youtube. Imagine telling her childhood self, that THAT many people would know about her. Wild right? But it’s true. I’m sorry for your loss. I love my mom, and I know you do.
That fucking sucks man. I can’t imagine. One day I’ll have to deal with losing my parents too, it’s scary. Let me know how your healing goes, praying for you
Tim Fletcher and his videos are the breakthrough ive been hoping for! I cant believe he's not bigger! Learning self awareness and re-learning how to trust is the key to personal development.
Recovering from cptsd. Now teach dramatic arts therapy - hits all 5 areas required for healing and growth - Agree to heal we must treat the whole person.
I had so much trauma in my life that I don't even remember the early episodes. I've been influenced by 3 generations of narcs from my family + my narc wife. And I only learned about narcs and manipulators at 40, after decades of this craziness. I have little hope that I will ever heal. Absolutely alone now. And I live in Ukraine, for 2+ years at war, with missile strikes etc. This life feels like hell, it's often so difficult just not to finish it.
i believe in you and your life. i can only imagine how hopeless things feel. for all you know you have years and years left. the war ends, new opportunities arise. you find joy again. you start your life for the first time. you leave the old life behind and realize you have become reborn. reborn in love, no longer stuck in the hate and constant threat of fear. my wish for you is that you find life in every corner. i am so sorry for your loss. i am sorry the life as you know it cannot fill the hole of loss. may your days become brighter. may you find hope. ✨ sending you solidarity my friend 💛
Oh my GOSH, thank you for this!❤ This little clip gave me more "meat" about compassionate inquiry, forgiveness and healing than I found in years of therapy. Maybe that past work helped prime the pump- IDK. But this is EXACTLY what my what my soul needed today.
I wish I had heard this information 10 years ago. I was raised in a dysfunctional Christian family. I still struggle. My late mother suffered from a personality disorder. But no one knew this back then. After I did some research during COVID, I discovered she struggled with BPD. Because of this, family life was very difficult during my developmental years. I grew up hating myself. I still struggle.🤔
I am so glad Tim talked about forgiveness as not the first thing to jump to in a trauma state. I have struggled with the frustration of not being able to adequately forgive family members for childhood abuse and neglect. I feel bad for not being able to forgive and move on and I feel bad that I even call them abusers. I feel like it is harsh and so I start to justify and make light of everything and so I go in and out of loving them and resenting or hating them, all depending on if I am triggered or not. My life has been extremely hard because of them yet I am conflicted because they are also all I have. Something in me feels guilty when I voice how bad things really were and still and so I am always on the fence of forgiving and moving on and having a deep resentment and anger towards them. I am a Christian and that also confuses me because I know I should forgive but I live with the effects of CPTSD everyday that they caused and it feels like a prison. in some ways I am worse. I so need help!
I had done that exercise of talking to my inner child to heal shame. I’m measuring my HVR for a while now, and it raised 30% after that. I can tell it truly works
We are Intellectual, physical, emotional, relational and spiritual beings. To get right, to be healthy, we must look at these. And I am assuming it's not going to be a quick fix but a journey. I appreciate this knowledge. Thankyou
I feel Theo. I know exactly how he feels. I have complex PTSD & it has literally worn my ass out and on SO many levels! It's one busy ass disorder. Have your ass sitting up there in a Texas sized tired.
I had a very traumatic child hood and early years followed by more trauma and rough years self medicated with drugs and alcohol since the age of 12 . Finally spent 90 days inpatient and got some help in my 30’s remd therapy helped me but I fell off the wagon again a ways after my only daughter punched her own ticket. and am now going through a nasty divorce 3 sons … I am now back in therapy in my early 40’s . Cptsd sucks and requires constant upkeep to not fall back into old patterns.
This is such a great conversation and once again Theo's openness is leading so many people to hear this in a new way. Healing is only possible at the root (unconscious) level when combining all of the worlds that make up a human. It is 100% possible! We see it everyday. There is no relation to the amount of time you've had your problem and the amount of time it takes to get rid of your problem. Going to the psychological, energetic and spiritual level will provide healing to the whole person (including parts from the past). Once you receive the lessons and insights the pattern can stop and a person can be free to feel peace and harmony where there once was hurt.
Lost the first girl that I actually loved. After 2 relationships totaling 11 years. I can say I actually fell in love with my 3rd girlfriend. Unfortunately, her and I were only together for 4 months. Because as soon as my traumas poked their head, she ran and never looked back. That is what lead me here. After my first 2 relationships, I spent 5 years being single, not a clue that I had any lingering traumas from childhood and past relationships....but I did. Its sad to say the first girl I truly fell in love with, I lost after only 4 short months,; and this is where the pain led me. At least now I know where to start to hopefully one day develop a healthy relationship and start a family. Sidenote - I'm 31, I didn't learn what true love is until 31. And the girl I truly loved.... I didnt realize I lost until she was already out the door.
Theo thank you so much. I really appreciate you having the courage to confront the mental health issues that most of us have but, never confront. Love what your doing, keep it up and I wish you the best on your journey. Thank you, this help me feel human.
Writing a letter to your child self is a good exercise. Let that child know that its gonna be okay and that youre there for them and stuff along those lines. Might wanna do this alone because things will probably get heavy and thats fine. Tears are healing and they need to be let out. Most of us need to do that kind of emoting anyways. Let those tears flow.
TY TIM- SO IMPORTANT @ 9:45 ish in - Theo asked about “Forgiveness” and one key thing you said IS ABOUT THE BRAIN!! When doing all the therapeutic work w/ Trauma Therapy- the further you get into it, the Limbic system in our brains will not react the same way as before- the wounds/triggers won’t be there as they were BEFORE. So many people don’t know about ALL THE BRAIN STUFF- THE NEURO SCIENCE- IN TRAUMA AND TRAUMA WORK/THERAPY. And you don’t have to be a brain surgeon to learn this stuff guys, you can learn it! And really, you HAVE to &/or be open & willing to learn about it for Complex Trauma and any therapeutic work for it. ❤️❤️
I love this, many cultures try and force forgiveness before someone is ready, like in a western culture or religious culture some encourage people to forgive and forget or to forgive immediately, though it's SO important to move through the pain, to feel it, process it and then to forgive once we're ready after we've started feeling and processing it, and I love how you talk about forgiveness as a by-product of healing and processing that pain because it's so true, it just comes naturally, though healing and processing often or may require some help like seeking a mental health professional to help us move through the pain.
Speaking to my hurt , sad and pissed-off 17 year old rebel helped me get through so many situations. He doesn't want to mature....I am not harsh with him but loving. It takes time. "The magical child within you" I found this great small book in the late 80's. Author Bruce Davis PHD. I even learned to grab control of my panic attacks by comforting and internally speaking with my inner child. I grew up in an unpredictable crazy family and control was a big issue....My mother was so bipolar at a time when it was called Manic Depressive......so intense and mean. Angry. And a father that enabled her craziness.....
I have a hard time loving myself, it’s almost impossible to. I was broken up with recently and I had plans to move across the country for work. He was factored into my plans and now I feel paralyzed. I don’t know if I can leave anymore because my mental state is so awful. I know my worth isn’t tied to a man, but I’ve been praying for a good man and every single time I’m let down and left feeling worse and worse. I can’t help but feel like I’m the problem. My mother passed many years ago but she wasn’t the greatest (she had her own trauma from an awful childhood). When im in a great relationship, I feel great. But when that relationship is struggling or it ends- I’m left feeling absolutely devastated & depressed. I need to find out why these feelings come up every time.
I’m sorry your going through this dear. Please trust and believe your not alone. My daughter is going through something similar with dating. You put your all in just to de disappointed. It’s not fair that y’all have to put up with this. Just know that there will come a day that you will find peace for yourself and when you do find it that special person will find you. Always remember your the prize and whenever you walk down the street or around town. Hold your head up with confidence and love yourself!!!!others will feel your presence and wish they had it. Sending love ❤️ from Dallas. Everything will be okay baby trust me!
I cannot get past what he has done and It doesn't take much and my anxiety is through the roof. What seams like a small comment or or movie or me leaving the house for days on vacation and I'm triggered, upset and crying. We go to counceler, he truly wants to fix him and our relationship. Counceler has helped us get along, teach him to communicate and our roles in the home plus he us compassionate with me. All the therapists wants to talk about is how to get us to get along. Nobody wants to help me with my trama, I'm told to take deep breaths when I get upset, deep breaths! They are pushing forgiveness but nobody wants to actually help me.
Ive already made peace with my past, it wasn’t really that bad. What I would like to shake is the habit that I’ve used for 40 years. I would love to learn how to ride that bike!
even if you were never overtly told you were unwanted, a child knows/feels/understands/intuits there's a difference between being tolerated and being cherished... grief and rage rape me my soul is tortured and tormented and haunted and raped I'm lonely as all hell I've been raped all my life MY VOICE HAS BEEN SILENCED MY WHOLE DAMN LIFE. MY BEAUTIFUL SACRED MIRACULOUS VOICE. MY VOICE IS MY MAGICAL GIFT OF TRANSMUTATION! that being said, all my life... I have given people access to me in ways that I should not have EVER granted them access now, I want to scream at the top of my lungs: FUCK OFF!! YOU DO NOT GET TO HAVE ACCESS TO ME IN THAT WAY!! THE DOOR IS NOT OPEN!! YOU MAY NOT COME IN!! ACCESS DENIED!! I've been programmed my whole life to be silent, conditioned to have no boundaries... I MUST REMEMBER: one very crucial detail in life... the reason I am even capable of desiring is because the GODsource-LIFEforce within me has already created it for me and is telling I already have the thing I'm desiring... to desire is to have. it was manifesting me before I could even desire it. this is so crucial. I must take advantage of this knowledge...
That's the best thing I ever heard about forgiveness! ❤❤❤❤ Evenly quote the Bible forgive your enemies. But the contradiction is Jesus also says stand up and defeat the devil.?
Self-love and re-parenting, the two biggest endeavors with regards to healing from a crappy childhood, and even parental narcissistic abuse that extends into the childs adulthood (Infantilization). Getting clean from drugs (including the drug alcohol) and not jerking your noodle are two very big steps in the right direction. Stay in touch with your original volition. Print it out, put it on the wall, and reiterate it to yourself everyday, what you are doing, and why you are doing it. Dont let that nasty little demon voice win. Do not meditate on your negative inner dialogue, and dont beat yourself if you do. Just remember to drop it when you catch yourself in that old habit. The more you catch yourself, and say to yourself "aha, there it is again" and drop it, the less it will appear. Over time, you will radically change for the better. Lose sympathy with your negative mind, what it comes up with, is not the truth. Study how to meditate, and then do it daily. Improve your diet, less sugar and refined carbs. Watch less negative BS online. Cut out toxic people you have allowed into your life, that includes family.
Instead of cutting family out of your life, perhaps you’ll be able to heal and cope in a healthier manner? Emotional pain is rough. 😅Compassion for “toxic” people is a sign of inner strength. Pray for us all. 🙏
@@rhondasmith7413 Thank you for conveying how little you understand. Read your Bible, it says not to tolerate narcissists and remove yourself from their sphere of influence, even if it is family.
One thing that's helped me was seeing my pictures as a kid and saying I'm gonna get better because this kid deserves to be happy as a man . God Bless Us All 🙏
God bless you dude. You do deserve to be happy!!
Hell yeah! I love that for you. You owe it to your child self to be happy
I came to that same realization in my journey to getting sober.❤
Also getting sober and thinking of the little me with a genuine smile is a heartbreaking journey I'm trudging to get through, hope you're doing well❤
A pastor once told me that forgiveness of others relieves ourselves from hatred in our hearts, but it doesn’t mean we need to trust them again. Not one of us is perfect.
I forgave my mother and it healed me. I also cut her out of my life. 20 years later I ended up living with her and caring for my father as he died over 18 months.
I hate her now. I watched what she did to him (I caught her trying to k!!! him several times) I will never forgive her.
I realize now when I was forgiving her I was seeing her as weak, which she is, but like a child with some innocence, which she isn't.
I'm still working on this but it's shown me that sometimes forgiving someone can harm us.
@@rosiedixon98 The problem is not your forgiveness, but trusting her again. Finding a way to let go of the hate is not easy.
@@rosiedixon98just so you know, it’s okay to not forgive. I was a crossfire victim of forgiveness too. Do what you can to heal yourself, with all the boundaries you need.
I struggle with this. I know forgiveness I had to confess to truly get forgiveness.
Forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciling. If the other person is abusive, never takes responsibility, just shake the dust off your feet.
This guest is a genius. This has to be taught in schools.
He has an amazing yt channel but I agree we need this to be normal in our society so we can evolve.
9 years ago my wife left, divorced and married another man. 4 kids. I’ve never been right since. I was generally a content healthy bio, social, spiritual, relational person. Now, I despise people genuinely asking me how I am doing. I’m not doing well and I haven’t been doing well for 10 years. Complex trauma is for real. I feel like the women in the bible with the issue of the blood. The harder I try to heal and the more I spend, the worse it gets. Please help me heal Jesus.
First its okay to feel that way. Have u been in therapy?
Forgive yourself for the suffering you have endured so far, forgive your ex for the decisions she made that effected you in a negative way and look for all the beauty in your life and keep working towards what will help your life.
I'm sorry brother. You are not alone.
Same here. It took 10 years it find myself again. I’m glad she’s gone now. Been missing the life I wanted to live.
I feel that. Almost like I’m just a constant state of angry and not give a shit. I just don’t care about anything anymore. 4 years now.
My son was murdered almost 4 years ago. Shot dead in cold blood while visiting NYC for the first time. Just sitting on the porch of an Airbnb minding his own business.
The anger and rage and severe depression have nearly broken me and my wife. It’s been really terrible.
One thing I was told to do was WALK. I have walked so much. And while I walk, I pray. And while I pray, I remind myself that I am not in charge, God is. I ask for Grace,understanding and healing. It is coming. Slowly, but it is coming.
As mentioned here, when I feel a memory if I’m able to, I try to think about it confront it. I tried ignoring it. But you have to relive the trauma to process. I don’t suppose I’ll ever be totally OK, but trauma is a total monster.
So sorry for your loss.
EMDR is a really great treatment for trauma. Yoga and meditation (along with prayer) saved me when I lost 3 close family members within the span of 5 years. Praying for you and your wife.
I’m so sorry 😢
god bless you. there’s no such thing as a normal or reasonable response to what you’ve been thru . only a non linear and unpredictable response. work slowly to understand what you’ve been thru and work from there
“The seed in your heart shall blossom…”
Ever since this came out, I listen to it almost twice a day.
That makes so much sense.
Helping others and working a homestead taking care of goats, chickens, pigs. Moved to the mountains to escape the city.
My homestead is here
@dragonrider9051 @eobbobsjobs8455 well done to you both, and your magnificent beards
Hell yes brothers!!
I wish I could. I need to get away from hurtful, angry people. They seen to be everywhere. I just one to be one with nature, everyday.
My girlfriend Jasmine just sent this to me. I know im a good man but I struggle with things just like anyone else. I want to be a better person and I am trying.
You’re not tryin, you’re actively doing.
You can do it brother, be honest with yourself and your actions. I’ll pray for you, much love Jesus loves you no matter what.
You got this! We all struggle, we’ve all been traumatized, you are not alone. The worst trick our minds play on us is making us think we are alone in our trauma.
Trauma, hardship is a part of life. Find people who love you, and find community that cares for each other. It’s a journey.
Got you in my prayers man I’m on the same page found out my girls pregnant and I just wanna be the best person I can be for them wishing you peace and prosperity from Canada
I send videos to my bf & he doesn’t even watch them most of the time… I know I deserve better but at the same time I think “if I was being a good gf, he would”…🤦♀️..
Prayer was the best therapist I ever found. I had complex ptsd and made it to the other side 100% because of God
Amen
"Complex" PTSD does not exist, it is not a disorder in the DSM and was explicitly created as a term for people who *do* *not* have PTSD but want to. In order to "have" "complex" PTSD you literally have to *rule* *out* actual PTSD.
@@Khoros-Mythos What on earth are you yapping about? Why would anyone "want to" have ptsd? Cptsd and ptsd can co-exist, they are just labels. The DSM is just a book written by people, just because some diagnosis isn't there doesn't mean it isn't real. How old are you dude?
@@Khoros-Mythosah that’s really nuts! You might be on the wrong channel. Good lord. Who cares about the dms when you are sick !
@@Khoros-Mythosnot only were you incapable to doing a quick good search, but you also attack and belittle others. Try to be more kind.
PTSD is usually caused from a singular traumatic event like witnessing a death. while C-PTSD is caused when someone experiences trauma again and again over a prolonged period of time.
I don't believe i can ever be healthy enough for a romantic relationship. Just getting to the end of my life, without killing myself, will do.
Relatable
Felt. I'm right there aswell, we got this.
I’m sorry for your pain.
Oh baby, I hope one day it gets better for you. Trust me I get it but at the end of the day we go through a lot of different emotions /feelings and the crap sometimes just suck! So we have to find ourselves a new normal even if means just appreciating the simple things in life. Sending love dear from Dallas you keep pushing through❤
Damn. Never give up though
I think we all have the inner child inside of us.
Probably
Yep!! And even that lil fucker needs help ❤
PAUSE 😂
True. Some people have a very wounded one, others have a relatively nurtured one, some have an extremely fragmented one, to name a few
@@jaymysterio4197 mine is messed up
Tim Fletcher is great! I’ve worked my ass off for 6 years on CPTSD, trying everything and finally have more or less healed…it’s really difficult but so worth it!
How
@mattng4707 Check out the book "Complex PTSD Surviving to Thriving by Peter Walker"
Its a great resource for trauma
Try reading “from surviving to thriving”. There is a workbook too. Good stuff
Surrendering my life to God, Complete sobriety, and practicing Celibacy & therapy saved my life. I had to turn my back on life as I knew it and walk a whole new path. I allowed Christ to do a New Thing in my life. It was the best decision I have ever made.
I believe after trying so many things , this is the answer. Complete surrender to Christ
so you're saying you've been a 304 all your life?
Amen 🎊 🙏🏽
You go girl I'm proud of you won't ever meet you in this life but we'll see each other in the life to come my sister in Christ
lol you actually listen to this clip. They scrually got the resolution to the issue. lol stoping putting your issue on god lol.
When I was 14yrs I watched my mum walk down an airplane ramp going back to Wales 🏴…. I was supposed to follow after the school year (all bollocks and lies) My father then thought that it was best if he bought a townhouse for me to live in alone (age14yrs) while he lived with my “stepmother” and raised her two children who happened to be the same age as me….stepbrother was 9 days older than me…stepsister was 1 year younger than me)….. I had to do everything…cook for myself…do my own laundry…get myself to school (the only thing that saved me was that I was smart and I liked school knowing I was going to university)…. The trauma left just from those experiences are profound (and there was more trauma…more obstacles put in my way)…. I’m 18 months sober age 61 and this will NEVER go away…. the hurt lessens….but it will always influence my life and choices
You sound like you're on the right path. I too was thrust into.adulthood overnight. It's a miracle that I'm here today. Welcome to the rest of your life! We are basically the same age, you and I. The whole world has really changed, hasn't it...?
@@RobertaFierro-mc1ub indeed it has…. Thank you fellow traveler…!!!
Thank you for sharing. Hope you gain peace 🙏🏼
Thank you for sharing ! That's so moving... from France 🇨🇵🙌🏾🙌🏾
I'm sorry you were treated that way, your father failed and betrayed you. You didn't deserve any of that ❤
This whole video was worth it for the last 40 seconds - takes time to relearn the shit you were fed as a child.
It's a reminder that rebuilding trust in relationships can lay a strong foundation for long-term healing and growth 💖.
I love, ❤️ Tim Fletcher. I took his program in 2021. If you want to find a sophisticated, and loving experience, a safe place, take his courses. There is support, after you finish ! It’s amazing. Thank you Tim, for helping me.
Thank you. I didn’t think to look to see if he had any offerings. Definitely interested
Do you mean on-line programs or on-site?
@@catw5294 there is both !
@@catw5294 hello he offers both.
I took lift that was online.
@@catw5294hi I took the Lift on-line program.
I been doing this the last 10 years. Relearning things I was taught wrong from the start. It's like a never ending battle man. I never feel like it's over.
i have never felt so blessed to be in recovery. It takes care of so much trauma healing
I cannot say how excited I was to see that he is a guest. I’ve listened to his series many times and it is the best most comprehensive info I’ve come across for healing, and understanding.
Exactly my thoughts, same here!
Boy, this guy is amazing. What a gift he has for breaking down trauma and human frailty.
Theo’s vulnerability and honesty about himself is endearing and admirable, too. ❤
I've been working with hypnotists for years doing exactly this. I am so much better. Now I am working on my relationships directly. Forgiveness and grief have been the stuck points. This has been an incredibly rewarding process.
I used self-hynpnosis for test anxiety. The
Idea of going to my safe room helped me with anxiety.The hardest lesson with forgiveness is forgiving myself.
I've been following Tim's channel since 2021 when I began to understand my own childhood trauma. Along with my amazing therapist and his wisdom I'm feeling "normal" for the first time in my 64 years on the planet. I can't say enough about how his teachings have helped me get my life back.
This man is a treasure, for sure. He sets the standard for love, compassion and understanding.
@@Sunmoonstars976 He taught me compassion for myself and that's where my healing really took root.
I'm feeling really lost at 44 so thank you very much for this, I have time.
This is great, thanks for giving him a platform. I've been in C-PTSD treatment for 12 years and everything he said rings true. Pete Walkers book "From Surviving to Thriving" is a great reference as well.
This was an enormously positive episode that I could see being life changing for a great number of people. Y'all covered some stuff that took me a decade to gather from all over and piece together for myself.
Thank you for having him on. He is a profound teacher. Kudos to you both.
This guy nails it. I’m glad Theo had him on
My mom passed in 2018 from Lupus and a CVA. I can accept what happened knowing she's free from pain, but I'll still hurt everyday.
That shows me, a total stranger, what a great Mother she was. You just told a billion people about her on youtube. Imagine telling her childhood self, that THAT many people would know about her. Wild right? But it’s true. I’m sorry for your loss. I love my mom, and I know you do.
That fucking sucks man. I can’t imagine. One day I’ll have to deal with losing my parents too, it’s scary. Let me know how your healing goes, praying for you
Tim Fletcher and his videos are the breakthrough ive been hoping for! I cant believe he's not bigger! Learning self awareness and re-learning how to trust is the key to personal development.
Recovering from cptsd.
Now teach dramatic arts therapy - hits all 5 areas required for healing and growth -
Agree to heal we must treat the whole person.
I had so much trauma in my life that I don't even remember the early episodes. I've been influenced by 3 generations of narcs from my family + my narc wife. And I only learned about narcs and manipulators at 40, after decades of this craziness. I have little hope that I will ever heal. Absolutely alone now. And I live in Ukraine, for 2+ years at war, with missile strikes etc. This life feels like hell, it's often so difficult just not to finish it.
i believe in you and your life. i can only imagine how hopeless things feel.
for all you know you have years and years left. the war ends, new opportunities arise.
you find joy again. you start your life for the first time.
you leave the old life behind and realize you have become reborn.
reborn in love, no longer stuck in the hate and constant threat of fear.
my wish for you is that you find life in every corner. i am so sorry for your loss.
i am sorry the life as you know it cannot fill the hole of loss.
may your days become brighter. may you find hope. ✨
sending you solidarity my friend 💛
Oh my GOSH, thank you for this!❤ This little clip gave me more "meat" about compassionate inquiry, forgiveness and healing than I found in years of therapy. Maybe that past work helped prime the pump- IDK. But this is EXACTLY what my what my soul needed today.
What's wrong with therapy !?? First of my life today. I'm 38. And what a desappointement ! What can be done instead ? 🫣
Theo is Adorable.
Tim Fletcher = Rock Star
I wish I had heard this information 10 years ago. I was raised in a dysfunctional Christian family. I still struggle. My late mother suffered from a personality disorder. But no one knew this back then. After I did some research during COVID, I discovered she struggled with BPD. Because of this, family life was very difficult during my developmental years. I grew up hating myself. I still struggle.🤔
I am so glad Tim talked about forgiveness as not the first thing to jump to in a trauma state. I have struggled with the frustration of not being able to adequately forgive family members for childhood abuse and neglect. I feel bad for not being able to forgive and move on and I feel bad that I even call them abusers. I feel like it is harsh and so I start to justify and make light of everything and so I go in and out of loving them and resenting or hating them, all depending on if I am triggered or not. My life has been extremely hard because of them yet I am conflicted because they are also all I have. Something in me feels guilty when I voice how bad things really were and still and so I am always on the fence of forgiving and moving on and having a deep resentment and anger towards them. I am a Christian and that also confuses me because I know I should forgive but I live with the effects of CPTSD everyday that they caused and it feels like a prison. in some ways I am worse. I so need help!
As far as I can tell forgiveness floats to the surface after the work to heal is well on its way. Definitely not beforehand
Your videos are seriously cool, keep 'em coming!
I"ve been studying Tim's videos for the last year now, learned more about myself and my past through observing his videos, vs going to therapy myself.
I’m all for holistic healing focusing all areas of our personhood. Love it❤
"CURL YOUR WAY TO FRICKIN COMPLETE FREEDOM!!!!😬😬" - loved the intensity on that one xD
Oh wow I’m so glad Theo is talking with Tim. Hoping you heal your shame, me too 💕
Absolutely perfect response about forgiveness.
I love that Theo is having such a wide variety of guests.
“Curl your way to complete freedom”
I had done that exercise of talking to my inner child to heal shame. I’m measuring my HVR for a while now, and it raised 30% after that. I can tell it truly works
We are Intellectual, physical, emotional, relational and spiritual beings. To get right, to be healthy, we must look at these. And I am assuming it's not going to be a quick fix but a journey. I appreciate this knowledge. Thankyou
Omg! Tim Fletcher! His videos have helped me so much.
I am so thankful for this man!! Thank you Mr. Fletcher and than you Theo for having him on your show
"well that person is a politician" 😭😭
I dont think some people realize the double joke he made there 😂
@@dejax9 I had to look at the comments before i said anything haha'
Omg I'm cackling in a heavy traffic jam with my windows open and can't hide now 😂😂😂 that was VERY funny!
LOVE TIM FLETCHER !! Omg so unexpected to see him as a guest here ❤
Great guests and awesome show. I got a lot out of this episode. God bless you brother!
I feel Theo. I know exactly how he feels. I have complex PTSD & it has literally worn my ass out and on SO many levels! It's one busy ass disorder. Have your ass sitting up there in a Texas sized tired.
Have a great day anyone who reads this 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉❤
Same to you!
I’ll rip a pack to that! Thanks brother!
@Solitary-Birds ty
@@pvillelde ty
Thanks you too!!
I'm so grateful for you ,since I came across you .someone finally gets me
I had a very traumatic child hood and early years followed by more trauma and rough years self medicated with drugs and alcohol since the age of 12 . Finally spent 90 days inpatient and got some help in my 30’s remd therapy helped me but I fell off the wagon again a ways after my only daughter punched her own ticket. and am now going through a nasty divorce 3 sons … I am now back in therapy in my early 40’s . Cptsd sucks and requires constant upkeep to not fall back into old patterns.
I pray for you to have strength and courage to continue on the path. It’s not an easy road but not an impossible one.
Theo is good man like really good. His questions are amazing
Tim is the man
my fav part is the paper he had which clearly shows he works harder for everything then many think
This is such a great conversation and once again Theo's openness is leading so many people to hear this in a new way.
Healing is only possible at the root (unconscious) level when combining all of the worlds that make up a human. It is 100% possible! We see it everyday. There is no relation to the amount of time you've had your problem and the amount of time it takes to get rid of your problem. Going to the psychological, energetic and spiritual level will provide healing to the whole person (including parts from the past). Once you receive the lessons and insights the pattern can stop and a person can be free to feel peace and harmony where there once was hurt.
Lost the first girl that I actually loved. After 2 relationships totaling 11 years. I can say I actually fell in love with my 3rd girlfriend. Unfortunately, her and I were only together for 4 months. Because as soon as my traumas poked their head, she ran and never looked back. That is what lead me here. After my first 2 relationships, I spent 5 years being single, not a clue that I had any lingering traumas from childhood and past relationships....but I did. Its sad to say the first girl I truly fell in love with, I lost after only 4 short months,; and this is where the pain led me. At least now I know where to start to hopefully one day develop a healthy relationship and start a family.
Sidenote - I'm 31, I didn't learn what true love is until 31. And the girl I truly loved.... I didnt realize I lost until she was already out the door.
Theo thank you so much. I really appreciate you having the courage to confront the mental health issues that most of us have but, never confront. Love what your doing, keep it up and I wish you the best on your journey. Thank you, this help me feel human.
Thank you for bringing up Compassionate Inquiry, I hope Theo can get to talk to Dr. Gabor 🎉
The voice of the Creator's wisdom is inside
Hearing Theo talk about feeling the addiction creep in: 5:02 relate so much to that. I think acknowledging it is what makes it torturous sometimes
Writing a letter to your child self is a good exercise. Let that child know that its gonna be okay and that youre there for them and stuff along those lines. Might wanna do this alone because things will probably get heavy and thats fine. Tears are healing and they need to be let out. Most of us need to do that kind of emoting anyways. Let those tears flow.
This was excellent and the process he suggests is right on point. Great video.
Watch this pastor often, super insightful stuff, scrolled down after his video and was surprised to see this! Good job 👍
this is the most insane crossover I did not see coming.
You must not know much about Theo then.
@@stacytw79seriously! Theos range of guests is insane!
TY TIM- SO IMPORTANT @ 9:45 ish in - Theo asked about “Forgiveness” and one key thing you said IS ABOUT THE BRAIN!!
When doing all the therapeutic work w/ Trauma Therapy- the further you get into it, the Limbic system in our brains will not react the same way as before- the wounds/triggers won’t be there as they were BEFORE.
So many people don’t know about ALL THE BRAIN STUFF- THE NEURO SCIENCE- IN TRAUMA AND TRAUMA WORK/THERAPY.
And you don’t have to be a brain surgeon to learn this stuff guys, you can learn it! And really, you HAVE to &/or be open & willing to learn about it for Complex Trauma and any therapeutic work for it.
❤️❤️
I love this, many cultures try and force forgiveness before someone is ready, like in a western culture or religious culture some encourage people to forgive and forget or to forgive immediately, though it's SO important to move through the pain, to feel it, process it and then to forgive once we're ready after we've started feeling and processing it, and I love how you talk about forgiveness as a by-product of healing and processing that pain because it's so true, it just comes naturally, though healing and processing often or may require some help like seeking a mental health professional to help us move through the pain.
Speaking to my hurt , sad and pissed-off 17 year old rebel helped me get through so many situations. He doesn't want to mature....I am not harsh with him but loving. It takes time. "The magical child within you" I found this great small book in the late 80's. Author Bruce Davis PHD. I even learned to grab control of my panic attacks by comforting and internally speaking with my inner child. I grew up in an unpredictable crazy family and control was a big issue....My mother was so bipolar at a time when it was called Manic Depressive......so intense and mean. Angry. And a father that enabled her craziness.....
If Theo gets better, he won't be funny anymore.
But he would be happier, so it would be worth it.
I have a hard time loving myself, it’s almost impossible to. I was broken up with recently and I had plans to move across the country for work. He was factored into my plans and now I feel paralyzed. I don’t know if I can leave anymore because my mental state is so awful. I know my worth isn’t tied to a man, but I’ve been praying for a good man and every single time I’m let down and left feeling worse and worse. I can’t help but feel like I’m the problem. My mother passed many years ago but she wasn’t the greatest (she had her own trauma from an awful childhood).
When im in a great relationship, I feel great. But when that relationship is struggling or it ends- I’m left feeling absolutely devastated & depressed. I need to find out why these feelings come up every time.
I’m sorry your going through this dear. Please trust and believe your not alone. My daughter is going through something similar with dating. You put your all in just to de disappointed. It’s not fair that y’all have to put up with this. Just know that there will come a day that you will find peace for yourself and when you do find it that special person will find you. Always remember your the prize and whenever you walk down the street or around town. Hold your head up with confidence and love yourself!!!!others will feel your presence and wish they had it. Sending love ❤️ from Dallas. Everything will be okay baby trust me!
I respect you for acknowledging it could be you. This sounds like attachment rather than love.
Everything I needed to hear in one video. Thank you.
The How old do I feel part got me good
I cannot get past what he has done and It doesn't take much and my anxiety is through the roof. What seams like a small comment or or movie or me leaving the house for days on vacation and I'm triggered, upset and crying. We go to counceler, he truly wants to fix him and our relationship. Counceler has helped us get along, teach him to communicate and our roles in the home plus he us compassionate with me. All the therapists wants to talk about is how to get us to get along. Nobody wants to help me with my trama, I'm told to take deep breaths when I get upset, deep breaths! They are pushing forgiveness but nobody wants to actually help me.
Forgiveness of others will help relieve the pain. It doesn’t mean you have to trust. Not one of us is perfect.
Tim Fletcher gets it.
Yeah I’m gonna need this whole podcast not just a clip
"curl your way to complete freedom" theo
1:27 Theo utilizing his imaginary footstool
Thank you for pointing that out! 😂
😂
Two of my favourite people ❤
Thank you Tim,6 mo to a year is not a long time is not a lifetime ling, perspective
This is really fucking spectacular! Worded so perfectly, so relevant, thank you.
This podcast is my therapist
❤ thank you so much for speaking about this
You look good girl, got IG?
Just ran across your comment and Girl!! You look a lot like Carrie Underwood!
Really loved this guys. Thank u❤
Ive already made peace with my past, it wasn’t really that bad. What I would like to shake is the habit that I’ve used for 40 years. I would love to learn how to ride that bike!
God is great
even if you were never overtly told you were unwanted,
a child knows/feels/understands/intuits there's a difference
between being tolerated and being cherished...
grief and rage rape me
my soul is tortured and tormented
and haunted and raped
I'm lonely as all hell
I've been raped all my life
MY VOICE HAS BEEN SILENCED
MY WHOLE DAMN LIFE.
MY BEAUTIFUL SACRED MIRACULOUS VOICE.
MY VOICE IS MY MAGICAL GIFT OF TRANSMUTATION!
that being said,
all my life...
I have given people access to me
in ways that I should not have EVER
granted them access
now,
I want to scream
at the top of my lungs:
FUCK OFF!!
YOU DO NOT GET TO HAVE ACCESS TO ME IN THAT WAY!!
THE DOOR IS NOT OPEN!!
YOU MAY NOT COME IN!!
ACCESS DENIED!!
I've been programmed my whole life to be silent,
conditioned to have no boundaries...
I MUST REMEMBER:
one very crucial detail in life...
the reason I am even capable of desiring
is because the GODsource-LIFEforce within me
has already created it for me and is telling I already have the thing I'm desiring...
to desire is to have.
it was manifesting me before I could even desire it. this is so crucial.
I must take advantage of this knowledge...
When I see pix of myself makes me cry
Thanks for sharing
That's the best thing I ever heard about forgiveness! ❤❤❤❤ Evenly quote the Bible forgive your enemies. But the contradiction is Jesus also says stand up and defeat the devil.?
I don’t really do “forgiveness.” It is what it is.
I fear things that haven't even happened! I feel like I'm constantly on alert
Great discussion, Theo
Theo, you should get Professor Sam Vaknin on the show!!!!
That politician joke was genius
Thanks Theo
Self-love and re-parenting, the two biggest endeavors with regards to healing from a crappy childhood, and even parental narcissistic abuse that extends into the childs adulthood (Infantilization).
Getting clean from drugs (including the drug alcohol) and not jerking your noodle are two very big steps in the right direction. Stay in touch with your original volition. Print it out, put it on the wall, and reiterate it to yourself everyday, what you are doing, and why you are doing it. Dont let that nasty little demon voice win. Do not meditate on your negative inner dialogue, and dont beat yourself if you do. Just remember to drop it when you catch yourself in that old habit. The more you catch yourself, and say to yourself "aha, there it is again" and drop it, the less it will appear. Over time, you will radically change for the better. Lose sympathy with your negative mind, what it comes up with, is not the truth. Study how to meditate, and then do it daily. Improve your diet, less sugar and refined carbs. Watch less negative BS online. Cut out toxic people you have allowed into your life, that includes family.
Instead of cutting family out of your life, perhaps you’ll be able to heal and cope in a healthier manner? Emotional pain is rough. 😅Compassion for “toxic” people is a sign of inner strength. Pray for us all. 🙏
@@rhondasmith7413 Thank you for conveying how little you understand.
Read your Bible, it says not to tolerate narcissists and remove yourself from their sphere of influence, even if it is family.
@@HeartFeltGesture Do you have a specific Bible verse reference to support your statement?