Thank you for the profound information Kenny. I'm a therapist by profession, its so easy for me to help my clients with codependency, its HELL implementing all this myself 😂 and sometimes i feel as though I'm losing my mind! Watching your videos is really helping me!! You have a beautiful home, i like how you always dress to match the room, its refreshing to see👌🌼. I'm in South Africa🇿🇦
I love how you provide examples of this. It’s so easy to get lost or how others overstep themselves, everyday- me included. This is eye opening!! I need to be firmer with my internal and external boundaries. I know my husband is co-defendant with his mom and vice versa her with him. We’re in therapy for this. It’s going to be long, hard journey. Thank you for making this video- always so helpful!!👌🏻🤗👍🏻
Good morning Dr. Kenny Weiss, how are you today ? I'm Roberta from Rome, Italy and I grew up with an overt narcissistic mother and getting out from an eight years relationship with a covert. I found out your first video yesterday evening and I'm watching all of them now. I have subcribed to your channel and I am so grateful that I found you, I like your videos' s contents a lot and the way you are, explaining things in details and with examples, and teaching so many important things. I love when you share your experiences, that way you make me feel not alone in this journey. Your elegance, your lively spirit and your good tastes just add a plus on top of the well-explained contents of your videos. I'm watching and listening with my notebook and pen in the meanwhile, taking notes and doing the exercises that you suggest, I find them so very helpful for me. Actually I have never tought about my needs and wants... what is negotiable and not, I would say no either 😢 which is sad at the age of 39. I feel like I have the duty to myself to re-start from the very beginning. Feeding my self for example... During the past 4 years I almost made myself starve. And joy... that was a tought one... cause really I never tought about it. So thank you so much when you say enjoy the journey and do not be too hard on yourself, it helps a lot calming down and feeling less overwhelmed. ❤ What a great discovery finding you😊 I was bouncing from a video to another and I can say that nobody I found got to the core explenation of so many things like you do. Have a wonderful day Dr. Kenny Weiss😊 and thank you so much.
Hi, this is absolutely amazing. Im after therapy…and dont have codependency issues however i notice people around me do, and sue to this i seem “cold” to them. This is helpful for me to see how i can tackle relationships with these people
What a beautiful first step to start establishing boundaries, the one about the arm out and seeing if you are capable of maintaining it. hahaha Loved it. A lot of great examples and useful analogies too! I appreciate it!
You explain my reality so well. I have faith that I can learn and change a few things in my life. I am so tired of being alone because I am afraid of hurting someone ´a feelings or not being accepted the way I am.
I recently discovered u on tik tok. I had a childhood that was full of trauma. I was reaching my wits end not knowing where to even begin to have my best life. Thank u for what u r doing .
You’re welcome I’m happy to hear you’re finding solutions. Tik Tok???? I don’t even have an account did somebody share something of mine on their profile or however that platform works? LMAO🤦♂️🤷🏼♂️😂
For a long time I didn’t have the strength to enforce my boundaries. Maybe one day you can give some tips on how to feel strong enough internally to set and enforce them 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
I was in that same place myself. if you go to my self-love playlist there are tons of videos that will help you do that. Also I have a free online master class that will help you begin the process. Here’s the link thegreatnessu.com/p/your-journey-to-emotional-mastery
You can do it. Learn as much as you can. Staying "no" will not cause an "earthquake". I was raised to be a victim and I feel very happy and healthy when assert my boudries
I used to spend years, most of my life, blaming people and circumstances beyond my control. Its not fair. It never is. I realized its what's in our subconscious.
I didn't realize that my family was unhealthy until I started having flashbacks several months ago, and I was diagnosed with (complex) PTSD. Then when I began to learn that my mother's behavior wasn't normal, I had a lot of rage. "This is YOUR fault" "YOU made me be this way" (this was to myself, never to her face haha). I think it helped to get the anger out at the time. Going forward I am learning to empower myself and be responsible for my own emotions. 👍
Agree. My mother has a lot of issues. I'm much healthier learning not to diagnose her. My boundary is to not live near her and make a phone conversation short.
I love you! Let that in. lol The world needs you and your wisdom. On the flip side my friend can’t hear you; they’re too busy being judgmental to hear the message. Maybe it’s more truth than they can handle. Idk
@@kennyweiss it so did. The handshake is a great idea. How do we stop people invading our personal space during conversation? You know when they’re right in your face? I move away but it doesn’t help much
External boundary How close we allow other to us Personal boundaries Right in your personal straight arrow stand up for yourself Physical intimacy who when what & how only if ready we get to let that emotion in or we get to decide nope Internal boundaries Consists of our thoughts feelings & actions I am responsible for my own feelings Gas pedals back off pull back(I usually slam the breaks-in addition perhaps as an alternative of slamming the break like going down a hill that seems to accelerate speed) ; however if you feel protected keep excelerating If not feel safe slow down let go a bit of the gas pedal bit by bit. We can still just gently keep speed of vehicle by touching the breaks ever so slightly We set boundaries and let people be responsible for both their exernal and internal and this is how we establish boundaries
Hi Kenny you commented in one of your videos about two magic phrases to set boundaries. I can't find the video with this in.. can you help point me in right direction please. Many thanks
Setting boundaries at work can be difficult. There is an unwritten contract that my boss is always right or the company is always right. So we can’t always set boundaries at work. How we can set a boundary at work is if it goes against our morals values needs wants negotiables and nonnegotiable’s we can choose to work somewhere else. That’s how we set a boundary at work
@@kennyweiss that's true. But my problem is with a few colleagues invading my personal space. They are going to fast for my taste when it comes to becoming "FRIENDS". Friend is a term which is used very loosely nowadays. That gives people the licence to abuse or come and go as they please. I'm going to have to use these techniques that you are showing.
What about a daughter at 40 years old moves back in and I can not get a sentence out because their is no interest in what I am talking about she leaves the room borrowing money and making me feel terrible asking for it back usually argument no one talks about this scenario on any of the sites I have visited senior years are hard enough as it is
No they don’t that’s one of the ingredients to be codependent. They are out of touch with reality. If you go to my codependence playlist I talk about that
![[DRIP] ‘Woke Up In Tokyo (RUKA & ASA)’ PREVIEW](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/QN44lcR_VkI/mqdefault.jpg)
I wish I could go back in time and play this video for my 20 year old self. Thank you!
Boy is this a great counseling session! I really need this! I am trying to change. Not another narcissist around me ever again!!!
Thank you for the profound information Kenny. I'm a therapist by profession, its so easy for me to help my clients with codependency, its HELL implementing all this myself 😂 and sometimes i feel as though I'm losing my mind! Watching your videos is really helping me!!
You have a beautiful home, i like how you always dress to match the room, its refreshing to see👌🌼.
I'm in South Africa🇿🇦
You’re so welcome and thank you 😁
I agree with your stylishness and gorgeous home decor. My house is similar. It's called my girly glam
I love how you provide examples of this. It’s so easy to get lost or how others overstep themselves, everyday- me included. This is eye opening!! I need to be firmer with my internal and external boundaries. I know my husband is co-defendant with his mom and vice versa her with him. We’re in therapy for this. It’s going to be long, hard journey. Thank you for making this video- always so helpful!!👌🏻🤗👍🏻
You’re very welcome I’m happy that they help😁
Good morning Dr. Kenny Weiss, how are you today ? I'm Roberta from Rome, Italy and I grew up with an overt narcissistic mother and getting out from an eight years relationship with a covert. I found out your first video yesterday evening and I'm watching all of them now. I have subcribed to your channel and I am so grateful that I found you, I like your videos' s contents a lot and the way you are, explaining things in details and with examples, and teaching so many important things. I love when you share your experiences, that way you make me feel not alone in this journey. Your elegance, your lively spirit and your good tastes just add a plus on top of the well-explained contents of your videos. I'm watching and listening with my notebook and pen in the meanwhile, taking notes and doing the exercises that you suggest, I find them so very helpful for me. Actually I have never tought about my needs and wants... what is negotiable and not, I would say no either 😢 which is sad at the age of 39. I feel like I have the duty to myself to re-start from the very beginning. Feeding my self for example... During the past 4 years I almost made myself starve. And joy... that was a tought one... cause really I never tought about it. So thank you so much when you say enjoy the journey and do not be too hard on yourself, it helps a lot calming down and feeling less overwhelmed. ❤ What a great discovery finding you😊 I was bouncing from a video to another and I can say that nobody I found got to the core explenation of so many things like you do. Have a wonderful day Dr. Kenny Weiss😊 and thank you so much.
love your color choices
Holy damn the part about conflicting realities wad mind blowing! I always struggled being accused of doing or saying things I know I didn't do.
Hi, this is absolutely amazing. Im after therapy…and dont have codependency issues however i notice people around me do, and sue to this i seem “cold” to them. This is helpful for me to see how i can tackle relationships with these people
What a beautiful first step to start establishing boundaries, the one about the arm out and seeing if you are capable of maintaining it. hahaha Loved it. A lot of great examples and useful analogies too! I appreciate it!
Yes! Thank you!
You explain my reality so well. I have faith that I can learn and change a few things in my life. I am so tired of being alone because I am afraid of hurting someone ´a feelings or not being accepted the way I am.
Loved this thank you
I recently discovered u on tik tok. I had a childhood that was full of trauma. I was reaching my wits end not knowing where to even begin to have my best life. Thank u for what u r doing .
You’re welcome I’m happy to hear you’re finding solutions.
Tik Tok????
I don’t even have an account did somebody share something of mine on their profile or however that platform works? LMAO🤦♂️🤷🏼♂️😂
The wine glass analogy was very helpful
For a long time I didn’t have the strength to enforce my boundaries. Maybe one day you can give some tips on how to feel strong enough internally to set and enforce them 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
I was in that same place myself. if you go to my self-love playlist there are tons of videos that will help you do that.
Also I have a free online master class that will help you begin the process. Here’s the link
thegreatnessu.com/p/your-journey-to-emotional-mastery
You can do it. Learn as much as you can. Staying "no" will not cause an "earthquake". I was raised to be a victim and I feel very happy and healthy when assert my boudries
I like your interior design choices😊 nice to look at while i listen
Glad you like them!
Thank you so much 🙏
I used to spend years, most of my life, blaming people and circumstances beyond my control. Its not fair. It never is. I realized its what's in our subconscious.
That’s very true. :-)
I didn't realize that my family was unhealthy until I started having flashbacks several months ago, and I was diagnosed with (complex) PTSD. Then when I began to learn that my mother's behavior wasn't normal, I had a lot of rage. "This is YOUR fault" "YOU made me be this way" (this was to myself, never to her face haha). I think it helped to get the anger out at the time. Going forward I am learning to empower myself and be responsible for my own emotions. 👍
Yes all of those are part of the recovery and grief process
Agree. My mother has a lot of issues. I'm much healthier learning not to diagnose her. My boundary is to not live near her and make a phone conversation short.
Awesome thanks very helpful
Glad it helped
I love you! Let that in. lol The world needs you and your wisdom. On the flip side my friend can’t hear you; they’re too busy being judgmental to hear the message. Maybe it’s more truth than they can handle. Idk
Thank you 😁
Have a door operating from the inside…. Owwww I like that!
This is so helpful I jus stumbled on him I love his illustrations
Brilliant 💯
Thank you!
Very helpful. 😊
You're a genius ❤
Such a great advice, so easy and playful explained!
Can't understand how it's been seen by so few people though 🤔
Right?!
Excellent video thanks so much 😊🙏💖
You’re welcome. I hope it helped 😁
@@kennyweiss it so did. The handshake is a great idea. How do we stop people invading our personal space during conversation? You know when they’re right in your face? I move away but it doesn’t help much
External boundary
How close we allow other to us
Personal boundaries
Right in your personal straight arrow stand up for yourself
Physical intimacy who when what & how only if ready we get to let that emotion in or we get to decide nope
Internal boundaries
Consists of our thoughts feelings & actions
I am responsible for my own feelings
Gas pedals back off pull back(I usually slam the breaks-in addition perhaps as an alternative of slamming the break like going down a hill that seems to accelerate speed) ;
however if you feel protected keep excelerating
If not feel safe slow down let go a bit of the gas pedal bit by bit.
We can still just gently keep speed of vehicle by touching the breaks ever so slightly
We set boundaries and let people be responsible for both their exernal and internal and this is how we establish boundaries
Thank you Kenny For knowing your calling in life enjoy the journey 😀
👌😁
I like your style! I am now subscribed!🙏😎
Thank you very much. :-)
Hi Kenny you commented in one of your videos about two magic phrases to set boundaries. I can't find the video with this in.. can you help point me in right direction please. Many thanks
th-cam.com/video/1tcPpR1rAQc/w-d-xo.html Could this be the video you are referring to?
Thank you..such a good explanation 👍
I have subscribed
You are so welcome and thank you for subscribing. :-)
I'm finding it difficult to apply at a new place I'm working. I'm making a promise to myself. I'm going to start today!
Setting boundaries at work can be difficult. There is an unwritten contract that my boss is always right or the company is always right. So we can’t always set boundaries at work. How we can set a boundary at work is if it goes against our morals values needs wants negotiables and nonnegotiable’s we can choose to work somewhere else. That’s how we set a boundary at work
@@kennyweiss that's true. But my problem is with a few colleagues invading my personal space. They are going to fast for my taste when it comes to becoming "FRIENDS". Friend is a term which is used very loosely nowadays. That gives people the licence to abuse or come and go as they please. I'm going to have to use these techniques that you are showing.
@@akkshayadwivedi 👏👌
Back of and protect yourself ❤
4:17 I've literally had a bf drive me insane becase he wouldn't stop blaming me for everything! Like damaged my internal boundaries. He gaslit me .😢
What about a daughter at 40 years old moves back in and I can not get a sentence out because their is no interest in what I am talking about she leaves the room borrowing money and making me feel terrible asking for it back usually argument no one talks about this scenario on any of the sites I have visited senior years are hard enough as it is
I hear you. I wonder if someone suffering from codependency has a grip on what is really real and not what they feel, mind read or imagine is real?
No they don’t that’s one of the ingredients to be codependent. They are out of touch with reality. If you go to my codependence playlist I talk about that
👍🙏🌍