time stamps for my mom; know the disorder 1:28 what is it that is delayed 4:58 adhd and relationships 13:05 Failing to Develop on Schedule 16:16 3 executive deficits 21:13 self regulation disorder 23:41 The ADHD Model 25:47 self control 28:12 self motivation 32:51 recap of 5 delays 36:00 sct vs adhd 43:11 ADHD and causation 51:56 brain and its regions 55:13 adhd genes regulate dopeamine 1:02:30 adhd isnt caused by 1:08:36 Important ADHD Insights (time blindness) 1:10:53 what to do about this disorder 1:18:18 increase accountability 1:22:10 bmod for adhd 1:23:50 Managing and Accommodating ADHD 1:27:53 ero time management 1:32:53 mental play 1:35:10 Results of Untreated ADHD 1:38:25 how far behind 1:43:17 4 components of treatment 1:47:31 Taking Charge of ADHD 1:50:13 shepard not engineer 1:59:02 needs to be made accountable 2:06:00 transitioning across activities 2:10:44 ADHD and Medication for Children 2:14:14 drug abuse 2:24:26 families of disabled children 2:33:06 Q and A 2:39:15
ADHD in a nutshell: You know what to do, when to do and how to do things but you cannot DO it. And you know that you can do it but at the same time you also know that you cannot do it. I think only ADHD sufferers understand what I'm saying.
@High plains drifter - Didn't watch the video, did you. Or you want all people on earth to be just like you, all exactly the same, nobody even slightly different in any way. You can want that all you will, but you are not worthy of having what you want because you are so selfish and arrogant, not to mention completely lacking in empathy.
High plains drifter- more so distraction. Mind running fast, chaos from having so many different ideas and thoughts constantly running with no prioritization or time filter
I am ADD, my daughter is ADHD. The doctor's words hit me like a ton of anvils falling on my head... I am feeding into my own daughters ADHD by way of my ADD. I have never in my life heard of this doctor and I am very sad that he was not part of my life as child. I am going to have my daughter sit and watch his videos together; at her pace, nice slow and comfortable. This man is brilliant; in my eyes he is the Einstein of the ADD psychology world!!
10yrs later...but THE BEST VIDEO I HAVE FOUND ON TH-cam today!!!🙌🏾💜. Extremely Insightful and Encouraging. Thank you Dr. Barkley🙌🏾. Such a Passionate, Compassionate, and Professional way you explained ADHD and more in just 3hrs🙌🏾 I feel more Educated and equipped to do even better as a parent of Special Needs Children, by God's Grace and Guidance to sheperd them to thrive more here on🙏🏽💜. Thank you!!
This is hard isn't it? I keep saying, you would not respond to this person this way if they were in a wheel chair or were afflicted with CP. But that is exactly how we need to deal with it. But it is tough because many time kids present normal - at first anyway.
I am sitting here crying me and my son have severe ADD. This is the first time I have heard most of this. And I have done research and tried to learn. Everywhere else they say it's about the lack of dopamine... I could tell THIS was the truth from the very beginning of the video. and I am so eager to FINALLY know my real truth, but coming to terms with the fact the your disabled is a hard thing to face... I keep having to turn it off and walk away get control of myself, get some hugs then come back. Even worse that you son is disabled. Like DR. Barkley talked about; so many places talk about it like a gift and you want to believe it so bad...
rosasutubechannel I don’t think of it as being disabled. I think of it as being enabled to find different ways to accomplish something. How do you bake a cake? Wheat flour, sugar, ingredients, a bowl, whisk, pan, oven and oven mitts etc. For me ADHD is trying to bake a cake with out wheat flour, a whisk and oven mitts. I am able to bake the cake because ADHD is almost a tool, insight or creativity for me to find a way to bake a cake. I found rice flour in place of wheat, my hands instead of a whisk and putting a sock over my hand wrapping my hand with a small towel and then covering that with another sock to use as oven mitts. I have the ability to enable myself to look elsewhere for solutions that nobody else will look with certain insights to create and make new paths or tools. So how did I bake the cake? Being enabled with the ability to search out solutions for my own sake and ability to stay happy and sort of balanced enough to keep trying and trying harder. I call my self a solutionist. I can solve problems. Do you find yourself nearly always willing and/or wanting to help a friend? Solve their problems over dealing or solving your own? Well I needed a word that didn’t make me feel shitty because I know how to do things people call easy or even hard, I know I know I know I remember saying more than NO or any other word when I was a kid or young adult. I can better manage the life of a friend or someone I love than my own. There is something blocking my own regulation but others? No problem or not as difficult. I have the tools or I’m able to enable those gifts from adhd to solve things but regulating myself and it working, moving, present, recent or coming time is no where on my active list. There’s always give and take, yin and yang with anything and everything. Knowing that you shouldn’t blame yourself for something out of your hands and not made of your hands is important to make yourself work on the positive instead of the negative. The negative is a downer spiral. It’s worse than getting nowhere. Good luck my friend, it’s obvious you love your son and want the world for him. Take care.
if you can, PLEASE get your child a medication prescription. i am a 16 year old teen with ADHD, and my medication has saved my life and my future. i would have academically and mentally collapsed by now if i didn't have prescription meds. i promise.
No, actually he should be brought up on criminal charges. He is intentionally and egregiously misleading as this NOT based upon science but manipulative interpretation dumped on parents as to be absolutely and incontrovertibly persuasive as he is one of the top tier highest paid darlings of Pharma. What he (and many others) describe is SYMPTOMATOLOGY. It is not a set of genetic biological markers but the synaptic connections are certainly profitably targeted! It is embarrassing to the point of pure vomit. It is not based upon our understanding of neuroanatomy and neurophysiology, our autonomic regulatory state. There is NO SCIENCE in his interpretative. Nada!
I wish I would have heard all of this talk when raising my kids. My oldest son was such a struggle and I asked therapists for help, including psychiatrists. When I told them what I have experienced with selfregulation and impulsivity, etc, even presenting examples like the difference between computer games and homework, they ignored everything. They always gaslighted me as mother for being "too loving". And they told me that I talk too much with him when asking what he feels and thinks. He will be 40 next year and has still not found a stable partnership or other emotional stable situation. He still needs direct consequences to do well. Since he was about 21, he does have good friendships and knows many people. He still overreacts, but his friends just accept this as a personal trait.
For people who are already diagnosed with ADHD and want to watch this: This is a long lecture, with massive amount of information THAT YOU WILL NEED. just like any other task, break it into smaller parts, like 25 minute intervals followed by 5 minutes of rest (google "Pomodoro" technique). And of course, TAKE NOTES. because we tend to forget some information, and the part you just forgot, might have been able to help you tremendously. This is by far the most useful and comprehensive video I've seen. Thanks to Dr. Barkely and his team and every other person who helped with gathering and providing these information.
I watched this lecture 3 weeks ago and I’ve been Tallinn about ir and sharing it since. I haven’t stopped thinking about how much I NEED to translate this into Portuguese, so that a lot more people can understand the lecture. Or, at least, just get the English subtitles. I’ve been procrastinating, because it took me 3 evenings to watch it (and I was absolutely loving it), but I know it will take me ages to write down the translation and I’ll probably never finish it. 😔
This video not only educated me more about mine and my son's disorder, but it brought me to tears. He validated everything I've experienced. I immediately applied the skills to help my son more and saw a difference right away.
Hey I know this comment is super old, but if you happen to see this comment can you let us know if his wisdom had any lasting impact on you and your son?
As someone who grew up afflicted with t his condition, it brings tears to my eyes to watch this man's lectures, as they remind me of so much of the difficulty I had growing up, which to this day cause me trouble.
Wisepersonsay tsss do I have testimonies from my life. First day of kindergarten i knew i was different. It was play dough time and aprons were given. My last name starting with a V, I was given the last apron, with girly flowers. I said no, that I wanted a blue one like the rest of the boys. “If you don’t put this apron you cannot play with play dough”. I told her to look for me when they were done, “I am going to the swing sets”. Peer rejection usually happens with kids that didn’t get physically abused by parents. I have all kind of friends and usually get labeled as a push over because I do not want Jeopardize the relationship. Ironically guilt or fear fades the relationship. Usually
Diagnosed in my early twenties. Haven't had any supports since and I'm now 44. After listening to this doctor, tremendous burdens can now be lifted and explained. I can let myself "off the hook" thinking that all this time I'm defective and that I can try to "fix" my kids the way adults fixed (trained) me. I grew up and have lived as a people pleaser to make or keep relationships (not good because this can lead to dangerous circumstances) because relationships with me aren't typical. My husband is a great and Godly man. Frankly, without us having God first, our family would have broken up soon after the birth of our daughter. The stress was and is even more so now, tremendous. I'm an ADHD parent raising an ADHD/ODD son, another ADD son and a "typical" daughter. I've had many emotional collapses in parenthood because 1) I didn't know what was going on with myself or my boys and 2) it was easier to feel and do nothing because that's the only way I could cope without literally running away from my family. I only used food as an escape and coping mechanism from childhood until present (no other substances). I either overrate or felt so sick inside, any food was a complete turnoff. Now that I have the prosthesis analogy in my head, I can begin to retrain my brain to accept the modifications that my boys need to succeed. My one boy just had his very first dose of concerta today despite allllllllll of my parenting efforts to try and help (aka change) him and keep from going down this road. Why resist? Because I accepted a lie/stigma that said if your on meds for a mental issue, there's something wrong with you or you're not normal. I grew up where same was normal. Thankfully , my children can grow up with oodles of scientific research to help understand what's going on, and also know that now, different is ok. I'm even reconsidering taking that path for myself now. If meds will help keep dopamine around long enough in my brain for me to succeed in areas of repeated failures, I ought to at least try.
aliasgirl9 as an adult on concerta I can tell you it will not completely repair the child. He will still need extra accountability. And discipline. For the love of god make him clean his room and do t even bother buying open world big video games. Sports. Mario. And anything that can be turned off at will without losing too much progress. Stress is a feedback loop cause more procrastination and thus more stress
This man is brilliant!! ADHD destroyed my life. And now in my 30’s I finally got the medication I needed. I am finally able to live my life. It’s sad but I am grateful I got the help I needed.
I'm so tired of hearing that adhd ruined a person's life. You have obviously developed coping mechanisms, so be thankful for the meds and pat yourself on the back for being well enough mentally to seek medication my friend. 😊
The most valuable 3 hours of learning I've ever attended, both as a parent and as a mental health professional. I have shared this video with countless others. Absolute gold. I also heartily endorse Dr Barkley's books.
I sent this guy a thank you note and he replied the same day. He is quite a remarkable human being and a good example for all mental health professionals to follow.
Same, I emailed him and he replied back. It's emotional for me to watch this and to have answers for WHY I am the way that I am, that I'm not just choosing to be this way.
I have only watched 20 minutes and already feel this man understands my son better than anyone else has. He is now 29 and has not had the support in his adult life he has needed. People just think he's lazy and unmotivated. Even family. I always felt he was about 5 years behind at least. Maybe 10 even.
I am constantly sending parents a link to this lecture. It is the BEST adhd video I've found for parents and patients. Everything rings completely true. I am a teacher and I have adhd.
It's truly a gift to hear an expert who doesn't try to paint the tragedy of ADD/ADHD as some cute eccentricity. I can't exactly say that this disorder has ruined my life, but my life has been much harder and sadder because of it. There is as yet no light at the end of the tunnel, and if I didn't have religious values, then I might have despaired long ago. l
this is a 3 hour video (!!!!) that I've listened to while I'm doing manual work. There's no way I'd be able to pay attention otherwise 😆 So many lightbulb moments here! And as someone with diabetes, I'm blown away by the overlaps of management styles. Having family buy-in, doing the research, advocating, advocating, advocating. Less guilt, more shepherding.
I was thinking "I watched with no problems. Why are so many people saying they had troubled listening straight way?!? " Also me: been reading the comments and commenting instead of really listening while went to a doctors appointment, prepared coffee, ate, went to the pharmacy, check my bank accounts and rewind several times...🙄
And this is not always done by a clear rejection. Your child may be just gently avoided by peers in a class and without any clear event or timing to notice, he or she notices they are alone at some point. Not all of them will tell it to parents. It is so heart breaking.
Same!!! Everyone is know has friends from elementary school and I just have people I've known since elementary school. Its heart breaking. Sending you big hugs!!
To be honest I had to pause this because I'm at 13 mins and ready to cry thinking of my 4 year old and ALL the pieces are coming together for her and what's going on with her. 😭 I will be watching all of this and then some. I need to learn how to help her better with life in all of it....
For some odd reason, it really helps when Barkely explains ADHD. I've had symptoms from very early on, and am now dealing with it as an adult. I always feel like I am "less than" compared to others. I'm the 40-something year old who gets in a good mood and starts making stupid jokes and laughing. Then, I feel just fine dancing in the store, saying stupid things, etc. My family is embarrassed by me. My family being embarrassed by me makes me feel terrible about myself, and like even my family can't stand being around me. They think I'm immature. I hope I mature at some point, so I can be up to the standards of the general public, and my family. Not paying attention isn't such a horrible thing (besides driving) most of the time. I'll admit to having a car accident at least once per year when not medicated - all my fault, but I can't really explain how they happened. I didn't see the stop sign. I honestly didn't see it. etc. I do pay attention, though. I pay attention to more than most people. The problem is that I pay attention to whatever I notice - which is a lot of things at once. I often times just blame myself for not being able to just BE NORMAL. I just want to remember things, remember what I had volunteered to do, remember what the boss told me to do, or at least try to remember. I want to finish things. I want to get the kitchen cleaned - to get something done - to finish.... just finish something. The only thing that helps is a pill. I want to be normal without a pill. I want to just BE normal. It pisses me off that I can't figure out how - everybody else does. I take medicine so that people like me, and so that I like myself. Without it, life isn't worth living anymore. Don't worry.... I would never take my own life. I'm aware that I could never actually finish, so I would only be half dead.
tericuppajava Just like he brilliantly said, seat back and enjoy the trip. I know exactly how it feels. I am 35 years old, and I’m just finding out what was wrong with me my entire life. And I found it out accidentally, on the hardest way, since my 5 years old son is also affected. Trying to helping him, I’ve diagnosed him and myself. However, nothing is going to change from my side. I’m going to learn how to deal with him, support him, and guide him on this journey, as I have learned how to deal with myself, and stand strong no matter what. I’ll try my best to be a cooler mom. But I was convinced before that this was me, and my personality, and now this is him, and his personality. I’m not going to adjust myself to the world. My husband after 12 years together has learned to tolerate me, understand me and even support me. I feel bad because even I knew I wasn’t normal, I thought it was just a trait. Now I know I have a disorder. I feel good because I still choose to be happy, and make my disorganized life even more worthy. I hope the world keep understanding, if not I’m here stronger that anyone, changing what might be changed, and whatever I can’t change, let it be.
I’m 18 and I relate to you a lot... I’m the embarrassment. My mom tells me that I’m immature and embarrassing and I always just thought I was babyish... now I know that I’m just, well, emotionally, behaviorally, and developmentally behind.
Don’t be ashamed of who you are I highly doubt your family is embarrasss by you and if they are shame on them not you you’re a human being doing your best JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE surround yourself with good people because happiness is definetly the name of this game called life I promise you
Unfortunately, my husband is embarrassed by me. He hounds me about things like being more serious and realistic. I'm a dreamer. I'm optimistic. I'm silly. I love people. I died my hair purple and I'm 47. One day, I went in Lowes for a shelf. I came out with green paint and painted the livingroom. It's really pretty, though.
Yes to the trades. I was a dog groomer and it was the most gratifying job ever. I had to use plenty of timers and notes and I worked for someone that created my schedule. So I was accountable to them. I also utilized their mobile grooming vehicle, so I was accountable to not wreck that. The job kept me accountable for driving my personal vehicle to keep my driving record clean, to keep my job. I had clients that loved my work with their animals, and so I would be accountable to them to be thorough. My tips also depended on this. Very true. It is also nice to be in different places everyday, and not stuck at a desk in an office. My job had a start and an end instead of monotonous data entry or secretarial work. I always started out strong with those lol, doesn’t last.
I cannot stop watching. As an adult with ADHD (who didn't think I had it anymore because the hyperactivity has gone), a parent of the most amazing child with ADHD and as a teacher I cannot tell you how much your work means to me, Dr Barkley. I am only just beginning to discover your work and I cannot stop sharing with my support group etc. The removal of judgement and shame. So many things I thought but I did not have the science to back it up- eg. visual working memory, breaking things down into much smaller steps, executive age etc. Even just this weekend at a post-graduate course people were saying how ADHD is bad parenting. If only I could have shown them this video! I cannot say THANK YOU enough. You have changed my life and as I share and teach differently I'm sure you will change many more through giving me knowledge.
I do the other thing: i play a casual videogame that doesn't require much attention from me - not in the sound department at least - and while my eyes are focused on the game my ears are eager to hear what this guy has to say. I intentionally split my attention, and in that split i find my comfort.
My treatments: 1) Go to therapist after a year of searching then asking my mom to find and make appointment. 2) Therapist writes a list of resources and things for me to do. Cool! 3) I go home. See a mess. Spend hours cleaning messes I see in my tiny condo. 4) Omg! I’m so tired! 5) Month later at therapy: How is your to do list coming along? 6) I can’t find it. What list? I need to clean my condo and find it...:( 7) Pay $300 8) over and over again for years. Life wasted.
I have ADHD so I had to save this to my watch list and watch in chunks while taking notes and doodling. Thank you so much for posting this as free content. I can't imagine how many families and individuals you have helped.
I struggled with undiagnosed/untreated ADHD until I was 35, mostly because I was never fully confident in the diagnosis due to lack of explanation by mental health professionals and therefore lack of understanding by me. This video was the epiphany. It filled in all the gaps and lingering doubt that goes along with "maybe I am, maybe I'm not". I've made my entire family watch it and I refer any mental health practitioner to it that I'm in treatment with.
I would like to commend Dr. Barkley his insight and dedication to educating the masses of this disorder. I have never personally met him but some of the techniques explained has worked amazing. We have a 5 year old ADHD daughter and the most powerful part of this video was the friendship part found at about 13:00. I was in tears listening to that explanation!
Hi do you mind elaborating on your experience. Met an Autistic child and say that PLAY saved the child... so wonderiing if the trust and connection made through your activities were in part contributing to a better experience parenting?!
This talk is still one of the most brilliant on the subject I’ve ever seen. This video helped me so much when I was first diagnosed at 31 and still helps me make sense of this often baffling and painful disability…
I would like to hear him address how some of the social behaviors (dating, etc) can be the OPPOSITE of what he described: instead of dating around, sleeping around, not maintaining focus on one partner how they can HYPERFOCUS/obsess on one person for long periods of time, develop anxiety that prevents them from normal dating/sex life etc.
WOW! Just wow!! You speak with such passion and conviction! Your explanation of the emotional aspects made me cry because I felt like you were talking about my son and addressing one of the toughest things we face! We are going through the assessment process but I questioned whether he had ADHD since he was only a toddler, but no one ever validated what I was seeing. Thank you so sooooooo much for making this presentation available to everyone; I'm in Australia 🌏 on a low income, looking for everything I can find to understand and help my son. This is the best thing I have found at all!
Tears... Of frustration and sympathy. My daughter is ADD/ADHD diagnosed in 2nd grade. I have tried and tried so many tactics and some work but now in middle school and having changed schools I see her struggling to keep friends but she is so bubbly and happy most of the time but at the same time I am seeing her light dim and I hate it for her. I am going to be watching all these videos to see how I can change myself to help her stay happy.
Keep treating your daughter with as much compassion and warmth as you can afford. Our ADHD symptoms are made worse by the stress brought on by judgment and anger - and she's got enough of that in her life. Correction of course needs to be made - as you know, every parent needs to correct their child in order for them to learn to be an adult - but even when correcting her, point out and praise what she did right, no matter how ordinary. There is nothing more soul-sucking and quicker to destroy the raw and vulnerable heart of an ADHDer than to be constantly criticized. One of the hardest things to understand if you're neurotypical is that your child will be seeing the world through the eyes of a young teenager when she is going out into the world as a young adult. I still experience this age/behavior lag as an adult - I am a middle-aged woman who is seen by people a decade and a half younger than me as an age peer to them, because I behave as a woman in my early 30s, not my middle 40s. IT IS ESSENTIAL TO KNOW: People with ADHD are NOT helpless. We're NOT babies. We are children and we are adults and we are fighters and lovers and survivors. We are people who are profoundly vulnerable and people who are indomitably strong. If there's anything that I think Dr. Barkley gets wrong it's that he profoundly underestimates the resilience and strength of the people he studies. Your daughter will be a brilliant woman. She only needs the support - including, yes, structures in her life to gently push her in the direction she wants to go - to get there. But these are structures - "scaffolding" as Dr. Barkley puts it. They're not the building. They're not her life. They're just the things that help her build the life she wants to live. One more thing: You keep going, too. Never stop loving her fiercely. Never stop holding hope for her. Never stop believing in her blithe spirit. You're her light, her hope, and her model of adulthood in the world, remember that too. She's got a fighter on her side.
One hour in, I am grateful to have been born late enough to get help as an adult with this disorder. Very unhappy with my handling of the disorder for my son, and yet my son shared this link with me in a family discussion thread. So far the high value to word content (lots of information packed in with precise brevity) means I have to take yet another break and return to this repeatedly to finish.
As someone who has not been evaluated for ADHD but relates to a lot of symptoms of primarily inattentive type ADHD/ with people with primarily inattentive type ADHD, I still felt like I 'didn't belong' because there were still some things I didn't relate to. However, when he mentioned SCT, I went to do a cursory google search on it as I've been doing with other disorders mentioned here and that's me. The things I didn't relate to with ADHD people, the problems I've always had with working slow, having a bit delayed understanding with things, my constant mental foggines, my difficulty with regulating sleep, everything makes sense with SCT. I'm not exaggerating when I say I cried when I read that. This video I accidentally stumbled upon has been the best gift ever to me.
I want to add one more tip for parents: Caregiver burnout is real and painful for everyone, including your child. TAKE SCHEDULED BREAKS from your kid. Ask grandma to watch them while you go to the grocery store alone (now your child is no longer overwhelmed by the marketing messages, colors and smells) and you can meet a friend and have an uninterrupted adult conversation. Take a weekend off with your spouse. Take a night off to do a hobby away from home, taking a class or just window shopping. If you don't refill your emotional 'tank' you'll either unintentionally neglect or blow up at your kid... or holding in all that stress will make you sick. As a pro caregiver, some of my past clients have had in-home, full-time family help but were able to use me to get breaks and not lose their mind. Studies showing caregivers who don't get breaks are VERY likely to either hurt themselves or their charge. Don't think you have to go it alone. Humans' superpower is what incredible things we can accomplish when we cooperate and help each other!
I think my parents could have done better if their parents had lived closer to them (my mom's parents lived half an hour away, my dad's were two and a half hours).
This is the most enlightening speak about ADHD that I have ever watched. I got emotional several times watching this video. I felt a mix of sadness for having lived decades without understanding myself and not being understood by others; excitement of finally making sense of things that have such a deep impact in my life and my child's life; and gratitude for having access to this knowledge to help me, not only with my personal struggles, but also with my child's struggles. Thank you for posting the complete video.
This guy is an absolute legend. Thank you so much for your straight-talking, no nonsense, keeping-it-real teachings. I am wholly inspired with a renewed sense of purpose. Thank you for the wake up call.
For anyone who needs to hear this, I got through nursing school with adhd, depression, anxiety and the emotional issues I had from trauma. Do not let people tell you that you are lying, that you are making it up, that you are lazy, that you are stupid, and annoying, and crazy... You are so much more then that. Show them! Because the people you surround yourself with should know enough about you to understand you and your problems, and be able to see through the reaction. If you are concerned you may have it, get help now. I waited way too long, I waited until I couldn't cope anymore and thats the problem with mental health today. Do research, learn about your brain so that you don't get stuck blaming yourself for your adhd.
This is such a great speech. I saw some comments saying they cried when watching this video. I thought I wouldnt. However I cried at last. He fully understands what the parents of ADHD experienced. That is so hard to parenting a child like this. So So Hard.
At the age of five I was hyper active. That was a very bad thing. Now at the age of seventy five I am still hyper active. For me this is now a good thing. In the early fifties they made me repeat the entire first grade. At that time no one knew or cared about ADHD. I knew nothing about it myself until I was seventy and retired. Fortunately for me I chose an occupation which is a true meritocracy. Although I was not the most popular guy in the shop, I was the guy who made the boss the most money which usually made me even more unpopular.
I was diagnosed with ADD over 30 years ago and have been in and out of therapy my whole life and never in that time have I gained even a fraction of the knowledge and insight that I did with this video. I've never felt more seen or understood than I have after watching this and this approach will be my gold standard at how I approach myself and what I expect from any therapist trying to aid me. Thank you Dr Barkely for all your efforts.
It's fortunate that parents/teachers/caregivers have this research today for you to help understand and educate them. My parents or doctors didn't have these tools. I have been diagnosed with adhd for over 3 decades. I had to teach myself my boundaries and limitations and develop tools for myself to use to help me become successful. Most of the comments and suggestions are spot on. When I was a kid, they gave me extra time, which was useless because if the work was easy, I flew through it (losing pounts because I couldn'tremember to show my work). If not, I would hyper focus on questions I didn't know and not complete the test. And yes it took me 30min to write this.
Good for you for waiting! I went right away and the first three years were emotionally terrible for me. I then took a year off, and somehow something clicked. I went back the following year, and I excelled bc I was finally ready. I really wish I hadn't lost those first 3 years.
My 7 year old son has ADHD among several other disorders and disabilities. I wish I was shown this talk years ago! I feel like you know my child better than I do. I’m learning things about my son from you and I’m only 40 mins in! Thank you for your passion and knowledge for our children!
IIRC, Dr Barkley’s family member had ADHD and died in an MVA. Unmedicated ADHDers have 4x the MVA accidents. Teen pregnancies are higher, too, as are high school/college incompletion rates. He is very dedicated and driven about the topic.
wow. i really appreciate, admire and respect everything this brilliant man is saying . i just turned 40 and realized a while back that I most likely have been an undiagnosed adhd individual my entire life. everything he is saying , all the examples, specifically how ones psychology changed from adolescence to adulthood, this all resonates so completely that it is actually painful when I think about it. i am in the process of getting diagnosed by a licensed psychiatrist and I am going to share this video with her because having stumbled across this video, it just reaffirms my thoughts 100%. Thank you so much Jason Solotti , for posting this , and thank you Dr. Barkely for your honesty , passion , conviction and most importantly (imo), for your FIRE! (so evident in the delivery of this message), which , unfortunately seems to be so lacking in todays day and age. Dr. Barkley, you seem to speak speak from the heart, and you deliver these words with a sense of urgency and conviction that should not go unnoticed or unappreciated. Thank you for fucking owning it sir. We need more people like you in this world. With appreciation and respect, Thank You!
He clearly knows he's a genius and that motivates him. I found him brilliant and very eloquent. What a man. God bless these creatures who make this world a better place.
Excellent lecture. So good to finally have everything laid out before you. I was one of the ignorant who had all sorts of theories as to what causes adhd. This has thoroughly explained to me what really causes it and how medications actually work to help those with ADHD function. I recommend anyone to take the time to watch this - even if you’ve got to do it in bursts, watch it through.
1:16:15 This is the moment I realised ADHD had been hampering me all my life, I think I had all the drive a non-ADHD person could summon and so many times I've promised improvement to myself and others but I lose continuity and end up on the same old path. I think so many people must've thought I was being devious or insincere even though I think it was quite clear I could not have been more sincere. I remember my father telling me when I was late to school everyday something along the lines of: I know you're not embarressed by being late everyday but you're embarressing me. People were litterally telling me they were ashamed of me like fuck. People tell you if you just try hard enough you will succeed but it has never been more obvious what a lie this is with the contrast of my life before and after medication. 1:23:46 Also, wow, this hammers it home more, its not instructional! I learnt my lesson probably the first time, I wish it were just a matter of understanding, I just can't *do it*.
Brought me to tears after realizing what I've been feeling. This is amazing, the first step to understanding myself in a deeper way and to further my development as a person and my future ❤️ Truly amazing, thank you for your insight. So many questions answered and a feeling of weight lifted off my shoulders for something that I didn't understand. Thank you
I’ve watched a bunch of Dr. Barkley’s lectures now, and every time I think a.) I’ve never seen anyone with this much confidence in his take on things and b.) related to the first: this is truth mixed with things that aren’t always true of ADD’ers. Don’t take it all as gospel truth. Learned a lot though!
A relevant point from my own experience is that people who struggle in similar ways as I do will internalize or externalize their reactions and negative emotions. Internalization leads to depression but an outward appearance that everything is fine; externalizing behavior leads to oppositional defiance; rebellious conflict oriented behavior. But both stem from the same core internal experience of interacting with the world with a particular set of deficits...
I'm so touched by this video I can only say thanks to dr. barkely and to the uploader. It's so mind opening, that i just ask myself how I didn't come through it before...
Great video, great insight. I loved how personal and profound you were able to make this disorder, taking away the airy constructs and stigmas that are associated with ADHD. You really focused on the serious underlying deficits of this disorder without harping on the obvious lack of attention that many people think of with this disorder.
My daughtet has just been expelled from school because school dont understand her ADHD. I am also part to blame because i felt she was a naughty child and felt overwhelmed with school complaints emails. I agreed with the expulsion. I ve been reading and researching about her ADHD/ ODD seriously the past 1 week and with this Video I see her differently and will SUPPORT her 100% ...in a week my approach to her behaviour has taken 360 turn...she is also on vyvance...
- Falha de persistência 17:19 - Dificuldade em se manter no objetivo 20:24 - Autocontrole não é aprendido 25:45 - Motivação 32:04 - Miopia gerada pelo TDAH dificuldade em enxergar futuro 1:13:40 - Dificuldade em organizar tarefas de forma hierárquica 1:14:53 - Tdah precisa de mais responsabilidades, sofrer as consequências das suas atitudes 1:21:35 - Ferramentas para TDAH 1:27:54
oh my God! I wish my mother had been able to watch this years ago. My mom nor anyone in the family understood ADHD and she had adopted a child with ADHD and Autism. We had no warning from psychologists that this would result in psychopathy and we found out the hard way when she fatally injured some of our pets and her out of control behavior became worse and worse because my mom gave into her behavior instead of establishing clear penalties and executing them immediately. I think had she seen this talk and understood it, what the family went through would have been drastically different (better) in terms of managing the child's behavior and understanding what she could and could not be trusted with. I with this was required viewing for everyone with a child with ADHD, and frankly every psychologist and psychiatist. I think it would help them all.
just discovered Dr Barkely a month ago, the wealth of knowledge and value especially in this video is irreplaceable, ive downloaded it and have been taking notes for the last week
It's unfortunate that the title of this video does not really do justice to the breadth and scope of this incredible content. This is an essential overview of everything to do with ADHD. Essential viewing for ADHD afflicted families and individuals of all ages.
As I’m watching this I told a friend I was watching a three hour talk about adhd. “You have ADHD but can focus on a three hour talk” Oh get lost. What annoyed me more was that I could not remember what I learned on the spot that what the video taught me about my own disorder!! 😂😂😂😂 Adhd in a nutshell.
One of the reasons I know he’s an expert in ADHD is he doesn’t bullshit about it being some kind of “superpower” or career advantage (entrepreneur) like so many of the talking heads out there. They also don’t distinguish themselves from the disorder, which is not helpful in the least.
Thank you!!!! I feel like Mr. Barkley was talking to me! He gave me clarity on all of my questions and concerns!!!! I finally know the why? my adopted child is behaving the way she is! And the HOW? her little brain works! And HELP I needed to help her even more! And so much more!!!! THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH! THANK YOU!
After the all-validating pablum therapists have fed me, after years and years of effort only to backslide, hearing Dr. Barkley speak the truth of the science boldly and in no uncertain terms is a thing of overwhelming beauty. It may be a hard thing to hear that we need to bring consequences much closer to our work, but he is absolutely correct. I just hope there's a way for me to deal with the anxiety that will result.
You need to remember that "consequences" also mean positive results. I woke up this morning (I am a freelance writer by profession) to five glowing reviews of my professional work in my project management system's inbox. Those, too, are consequences! And they feed your soul and renew your focus and your desire to focus - they fill your ADHD executive function "battery" if you're not someone who believes in souls. The word "consequence" has an anxious implication in our society because "consequence" and "accountability" are seen as a synonym for "criticism" and "failure." But a consequence is JUST the outcome of your action - be it for good or for ill - and accountability is ONLY the moment where your actions are seen and accounted for. If you think of ANY feedback, positive, negative, or neutral, as a form of accountability, and the happiness of your clients as a consequence of your actions, it becomes much easier to deal with. Also, if your therapists are giving you no challenges to respond to, you need new therapists.
Wow.. Thank You. I could CRY< my little guy who is now 12 has honestly lived hard because his school refuses to believe this is real. if they only would listen to this. then maybe they would lighten up on son.
Absolutely true: accountability and repercussion= I did it for myself, emotionally. It works. Fast rewards fast accountability, my parents did unfortunately the opposite. They took for granted that I was unable, so did not train or push me.
I became a step mom to a very autistic adhd child and its been so hard on me. This is really helping me understand why nothing I do is working because my approach is all wrong. Thank you for this
Wow I’m 28 in 2 week. I’ve lost everything. This hit me so hard I’ve had nothing but epiphanies for the last week about it all and about my life, and my family, my parents, my sisters. It all makes sense now. :/
Tried college after high school. No luck, joined the Army. Then at 30 I went back and was finally able to focus enough and motivated enough to graduate cum laude. If I didn’t truly love my major there’s no way I would have gotten it done. I’m now in a masters program and while nervous, I’m confident that my love for science and my older age of now 33 will help.
Russel is definitely right about how much junk is out there. When I first started trying to find out about ADHD, I spent hours sifting through useless information before finding sources like this.
Currently watching this and enjoying it, fascinating stuff, wonderful speaker. BUT. Where are the slides?? How hard would it be to insert a slide for 30 seconds and go to voice over? VERY frustrating.
I had the classic progression from ADHD to ODD, to conduct disorder, to substance use disorder and antisocial behavior, with comorbid persistent depressive disorder, until age 25, then all the sudden I had access to self control and executive functioning, I got sober, I developed discipline, emotion regulation, a meditation practice, I enrolled in college, I got a job at the treatment facility where I got sober, I earned a masters in counseling and an LPC license. I still don’t understand what happened. I was on a trajectory they say you can’t get off, but something shifted. Since becoming a clinician I’ve witnessed countless other transformations in severely ADHD people with addictions and other disorders, remissions occur, but I can’t explain them. I’d love to see more research into how the brain can change and defy all previous indications of a life long disorder.
I was diagnosed at 28 and I’m very positive my 12yr son has adhd and I’m currently in the process of getting him diagnosed. But these helped me personally as well as helping him be successful. However I’m working on consistency 😅
Yes my son has ADHD the way this amazing man has explained it... I always have been told the label was because he couldn't sit still... has meltdowns while younger and couldn't talk until he was 4-5... but when he learnt he used the huge big words no one thought a 5 year old could think of and knowing the meaning to them..
Hello Lauren..my son is 5 with ADHD. Please can you give some of your precious advises...i am feeling very depressed these days...he is not sitting in one place...he is speaking only 15 words and not continuous sentence...he is not at all concentrating
@@stephanselvanathan1070 I will once it's not 4.16am and not over thinking his next appointment today with the counsellor (after speech, OT, child psychologist and others I have forgot) she's the only one that has had long lasting effects so far... Also cutting down sugar has helped so much... especially fruit boxes, pop tops etc has a huge impact on him he's 11 now and I'm getting less sleep now than I did back when he was having meltdowns daily... The speech therapy had me do sign language extremely basic but helped at the time
@@laurenlnb2386 thanks a lot for your reply Lauren...it is 12.30 am here(india) I am much deprssed and thinking of what will be the future of my son... When you "I am getting less sleep" do you mean that she is not sleeping...is your daughter ok now after therapy.
@@stephanselvanathan1070 I'm more worried about now he's stronger so I've been told to lock him out of the house or myself in the car when he's having a meltdown... He's in year 5 in school but doing year 2 work... Our state gov has just told us year 6 now will be the end of primary school... This virus thing isn't helping of course no one is giving us answers... I'm lucky I'm in South Australia the only caes so far this second wave are from overseas and people are doing the right thing... The Victorians are my worry they keep jumping the borders into South Australia (our little town is in a path to Adelaide if they don't want to be caught by police)... My 11 year old won't stop sucking his thumb and I have tried everything I know to try... The worry and endless nights don't stop they will never stop... High school is 2 years away his last year of primary school is next year he's no where close to being able to handle the change... Going from year 2 into year 3 (they move up in the school itself with a different teacher they have 3 teachers though primary school and sso's (people how come in and help the teacher and kids to a under what is going on)... My worries are endless as yours are but I'm really lucky that if all else fails he can come and work in the family business (general store and caravan park in the same town but separate) I just need him to give respect to women (he's starting to with me and the teachers) .. The only person helping him is the counsellor... His dad doesn't think cutting DOWN suger helps (IT REALLY DOES). His dad and his parents won't give him medicine in their care because they don't think he needs it... I have tried everything else and they throw it back in my face, I didn't think I would ever be THAT parent that has to put her child on meds... I just hope the good side effects out weigh the bad ones
I have so much frustration in my current relationship. So much inconsideration. I have adhd but now I'm pretty sure my partner does too but in more aggressive ways.
time stamps for my mom;
know the disorder 1:28
what is it that is delayed 4:58
adhd and relationships 13:05
Failing to Develop on Schedule 16:16
3 executive deficits 21:13
self regulation disorder 23:41
The ADHD Model 25:47
self control 28:12
self motivation 32:51
recap of 5 delays 36:00
sct vs adhd 43:11
ADHD and causation 51:56
brain and its regions 55:13
adhd genes regulate dopeamine 1:02:30
adhd isnt caused by 1:08:36
Important ADHD Insights (time blindness) 1:10:53
what to do about this disorder 1:18:18
increase accountability 1:22:10
bmod for adhd 1:23:50
Managing and Accommodating ADHD 1:27:53
ero time management 1:32:53
mental play 1:35:10
Results of Untreated ADHD 1:38:25
how far behind 1:43:17
4 components of treatment 1:47:31
Taking Charge of ADHD 1:50:13
shepard not engineer 1:59:02
needs to be made accountable 2:06:00
transitioning across activities 2:10:44
ADHD and Medication for Children 2:14:14
drug abuse 2:24:26
families of disabled children 2:33:06
Q and A 2:39:15
Thank You 💖
excellent thank you.
This is so helpful. Thank you for taking the time to do this!
Great...thanks!
Wow. What a useful kindness
ADHD in a nutshell: You know what to do, when to do and how to do things but you cannot DO it. And you know that you can do it but at the same time you also know that you cannot do it. I think only ADHD sufferers understand what I'm saying.
I feel this statement sooooo haarrdd. This feeling brings me to tears.
Not necessarily. Sometimes it's that something can take a lot of sustained mental attention and concentration and you know you can't do it.
@High plains drifter - Didn't watch the video, did you. Or you want all people on earth to be just like you, all exactly the same, nobody even slightly different in any way. You can want that all you will, but you are not worthy of having what you want because you are so selfish and arrogant, not to mention completely lacking in empathy.
Kevin Huynh 100% true, it’s a horrible feeling.
High plains drifter- more so distraction. Mind running fast, chaos from having so many different ideas and thoughts constantly running with no prioritization or time filter
This is excellent and I believe all teachers should be required to watch it.
we watched it in a 6 hour professional development, with lots of breaks and break out groups. eye opening. made me look at my own ADHD (EFDD)
I agree
And parents!
I just sent this to my son's teacher. This is such valuable information
Indeed 👍👍👍
I am ADD, my daughter is ADHD. The doctor's words hit me like a ton of anvils falling on my head... I am feeding into my own daughters ADHD by way of my ADD. I have never in my life heard of this doctor and I am very sad that he was not part of my life as child. I am going to have my daughter sit and watch his videos together; at her pace, nice slow and comfortable. This man is brilliant; in my eyes he is the Einstein of the ADD psychology world!!
There is no ADHD
Brandy Parks I understand. 💜
Emanuel Afonso 😂
Actually there is no ADD its no longer recognized as a medical term
@@StoneyCrow I was originally diagnosed with ADD and am not hyperactive; so I usually use "ADD" to describe myself anyway.
10yrs later...but THE BEST VIDEO I HAVE FOUND ON TH-cam today!!!🙌🏾💜. Extremely Insightful and Encouraging.
Thank you Dr. Barkley🙌🏾. Such a Passionate, Compassionate, and Professional way you explained ADHD and more in just 3hrs🙌🏾 I feel more Educated and equipped to do even better as a parent of Special Needs Children, by God's Grace and Guidance to sheperd them to thrive more here on🙏🏽💜. Thank you!!
this presentation opened my eyes to the fact that I can stop blaming myself for my child's ADHD. now I can get on with helping him cope.
This is hard isn't it? I keep saying, you would not respond to this person this way if they were in a wheel chair or were afflicted with CP. But that is exactly how we need to deal with it. But it is tough because many time kids present normal - at first anyway.
I am sitting here crying me and my son have severe ADD. This is the first time I have heard most of this. And I have done research and tried to learn. Everywhere else they say it's about the lack of dopamine... I could tell THIS was the truth from the very beginning of the video. and I am so eager to FINALLY know my real truth, but coming to terms with the fact the your disabled is a hard thing to face... I keep having to turn it off and walk away get control of myself, get some hugs then come back.
Even worse that you son is disabled. Like DR. Barkley talked about; so many places talk about it like a gift and you want to believe it so bad...
rosasutubechannel I don’t think of it as being disabled. I think of it as being enabled to find different ways to accomplish something. How do you bake a cake? Wheat flour, sugar, ingredients, a bowl, whisk, pan, oven and oven mitts etc. For me ADHD is trying to bake a cake with out wheat flour, a whisk and oven mitts. I am able to bake the cake because ADHD is almost a tool, insight or creativity for me to find a way to bake a cake. I found rice flour in place of wheat, my hands instead of a whisk and putting a sock over my hand wrapping my hand with a small towel and then covering that with another sock to use as oven mitts. I have the ability to enable myself to look elsewhere for solutions that nobody else will look with certain insights to create and make new paths or tools. So how did I bake the cake? Being enabled with the ability to search out solutions for my own sake and ability to stay happy and sort of balanced enough to keep trying and trying harder. I call my self a solutionist. I can solve problems. Do you find yourself nearly always willing and/or wanting to help a friend? Solve their problems over dealing or solving your own? Well I needed a word that didn’t make me feel shitty because I know how to do things people call easy or even hard, I know I know I know I remember saying more than NO or any other word when I was a kid or young adult. I can better manage the life of a friend or someone I love than my own. There is something blocking my own regulation but others? No problem or not as difficult. I have the tools or I’m able to enable those gifts from adhd to solve things but regulating myself and it working, moving, present, recent or coming time is no where on my active list. There’s always give and take, yin and yang with anything and everything. Knowing that you shouldn’t blame yourself for something out of your hands and not made of your hands is important to make yourself work on the positive instead of the negative. The negative is a downer spiral. It’s worse than getting nowhere. Good luck my friend, it’s obvious you love your son and want the world for him. Take care.
@@jimflys2 ha! I have CP and ADHD!
if you can, PLEASE get your child a medication prescription. i am a 16 year old teen with ADHD, and my medication has saved my life and my future. i would have academically and mentally collapsed by now if i didn't have prescription meds. i promise.
This man is irreplaceable. He has informed my practice in managing ADHD so well that I cannot thank him enough.
Indeed !
How do you manage it?!
No, actually he should be brought up on criminal charges. He is intentionally and egregiously misleading as this NOT based upon science but manipulative interpretation dumped on parents as to be absolutely and incontrovertibly persuasive as he is one of the top tier highest paid darlings of Pharma. What he (and many others) describe is SYMPTOMATOLOGY. It is not a set of genetic biological markers but the synaptic connections are certainly profitably targeted! It is embarrassing to the point of pure vomit. It is not based upon our understanding of neuroanatomy and neurophysiology, our autonomic regulatory state. There is NO SCIENCE in his interpretative. Nada!
I wish I would have heard all of this talk when raising my kids. My oldest son was such a struggle and I asked therapists for help, including psychiatrists. When I told them what I have experienced with selfregulation and impulsivity, etc, even presenting examples like the difference between computer games and homework, they ignored everything. They always gaslighted me as mother for being "too loving". And they told me that I talk too much with him when asking what he feels and thinks. He will be 40 next year and has still not found a stable partnership or other emotional stable situation. He still needs direct consequences to do well. Since he was about 21, he does have good friendships and knows many people. He still overreacts, but his friends just accept this as a personal trait.
@@Neilgs You did not listen to this talk in full length
For people who are already diagnosed with ADHD and want to watch this: This is a long lecture, with massive amount of information THAT YOU WILL NEED. just like any other task, break it into smaller parts, like 25 minute intervals followed by 5 minutes of rest (google "Pomodoro" technique). And of course, TAKE NOTES. because we tend to forget some information, and the part you just forgot, might have been able to help you tremendously. This is by far the most useful and comprehensive video I've seen.
Thanks to Dr. Barkely and his team and every other person who helped with gathering and providing these information.
This just made me sob, just having someone who understands reach out to look out for others, idk it just made me feel not alone
I watched this lecture 3 weeks ago and I’ve been Tallinn about ir and sharing it since.
I haven’t stopped thinking about how much I NEED to translate this into Portuguese, so that a lot more people can understand the lecture. Or, at least, just get the English subtitles.
I’ve been procrastinating, because it took me 3 evenings to watch it (and I was absolutely loving it), but I know it will take me ages to write down the translation and I’ll probably never finish it. 😔
This video not only educated me more about mine and my son's disorder, but it brought me to tears. He validated everything I've experienced. I immediately applied the skills to help my son more and saw a difference right away.
Hey I know this comment is super old, but if you happen to see this comment can you let us know if his wisdom had any lasting impact on you and your son?
@@SAZ-3500D it will always be a work in progress, like everyone else. However, yes, it still helps. Education is never a waste. Hope this helps!
Lithium Orotate helps me along w farm to table chemical free foods
@@Exodus6verse3 How does Lithium Orotate help you?
As someone who grew up afflicted with t his condition, it brings tears to my eyes to watch this man's lectures, as they remind me of so much of the difficulty I had growing up, which to this day cause me trouble.
Mark, will you tell us how you felt while you were growing up with ADHD? Not many testimonies are found by the sufferers. They will be very helpful.
Wisepersonsay tsss do I have testimonies from my life. First day of kindergarten i knew i was different. It was play dough time and aprons were given. My last name starting with a V, I was given the last apron, with girly flowers. I said no, that I wanted a blue one like the rest of the boys. “If you don’t put this apron you cannot play with play dough”. I told her to look for me when they were done, “I am going to the swing sets”.
Peer rejection usually happens with kids that didn’t get physically abused by parents. I have all kind of friends and usually get labeled as a push over because I do not want Jeopardize the relationship. Ironically guilt or fear fades the relationship. Usually
Diagnosed in my early twenties. Haven't had any supports since and I'm now 44. After listening to this doctor, tremendous burdens can now be lifted and explained. I can let myself "off the hook" thinking that all this time I'm defective and that I can try to "fix" my kids the way adults fixed (trained) me. I grew up and have lived as a people pleaser to make or keep relationships (not good because this can lead to dangerous circumstances) because relationships with me aren't typical. My husband is a great and Godly man. Frankly, without us having God first, our family would have broken up soon after the birth of our daughter. The stress was and is even more so now, tremendous.
I'm an ADHD parent raising an ADHD/ODD son, another ADD son and a "typical" daughter. I've had many emotional collapses in parenthood because 1) I didn't know what was going on with myself or my boys and 2) it was easier to feel and do nothing because that's the only way I could cope without literally running away from my family. I only used food as an escape and coping mechanism from childhood until present (no other substances). I either overrate or felt so sick inside, any food was a complete turnoff.
Now that I have the prosthesis analogy in my head, I can begin to retrain my brain to accept the modifications that my boys need to succeed. My one boy just had his very first dose of concerta today despite allllllllll of my parenting efforts to try and help (aka change) him and keep from going down this road. Why resist? Because I accepted a lie/stigma that said if your on meds for a mental issue, there's something wrong with you or you're not normal. I grew up where same was normal. Thankfully , my children can grow up with oodles of scientific research to help understand what's going on, and also know that now, different is ok. I'm even reconsidering taking that path for myself now. If meds will help keep dopamine around long enough in my brain for me to succeed in areas of repeated failures, I ought to at least try.
Wisepersonsay reddit adhd
aliasgirl9 as an adult on concerta I can tell you it will not completely repair the child. He will still need extra accountability. And discipline. For the love of god make him clean his room and do t even bother buying open world big video games. Sports. Mario. And anything that can be turned off at will without losing too much progress.
Stress is a feedback loop cause more procrastination and thus more stress
This man is brilliant!! ADHD destroyed my life. And now in my 30’s I finally got the medication I needed. I am finally able to live my life. It’s sad but I am grateful I got the help I needed.
What’s the mediation you got?
Is there a video like this for adults?
I'm so tired of hearing that adhd ruined a person's life. You have obviously developed coping mechanisms, so be thankful for the meds and pat yourself on the back for being well enough mentally to seek medication my friend. 😊
The most valuable 3 hours of learning I've ever attended, both as a parent and as a mental health professional. I have shared this video with countless others. Absolute gold. I also heartily endorse Dr Barkley's books.
I sent this guy a thank you note and he replied the same day. He is quite a remarkable human being and a good example for all mental health professionals to follow.
username checks out?
wholesome tho lol
Same, I emailed him and he replied back. It's emotional for me to watch this and to have answers for WHY I am the way that I am, that I'm not just choosing to be this way.
Hmmm....rewarded for following through 😊. Bless you my friend ❤ .
I have only watched 20 minutes and already feel this man understands my son better than anyone else has. He is now 29 and has not had the support in his adult life he has needed. People just think he's lazy and unmotivated. Even family. I always felt he was about 5 years behind at least. Maybe 10 even.
I am constantly sending parents a link to this lecture. It is the BEST adhd video I've found for parents and patients. Everything rings completely true. I am a teacher and I have adhd.
It's truly a gift to hear an expert who doesn't try to paint the tragedy of ADD/ADHD as some cute eccentricity. I can't exactly say that this disorder has ruined my life, but my life has been much harder and sadder because of it. There is as yet no light at the end of the tunnel, and if I didn't have religious values, then I might have despaired long ago. l
this is a 3 hour video (!!!!) that I've listened to while I'm doing manual work. There's no way I'd be able to pay attention otherwise 😆
So many lightbulb moments here!
And as someone with diabetes, I'm blown away by the overlaps of management styles. Having family buy-in, doing the research, advocating, advocating, advocating. Less guilt, more shepherding.
I was thinking "I watched with no problems. Why are so many people saying they had troubled listening straight way?!? "
Also me: been reading the comments and commenting instead of really listening while went to a doctors appointment, prepared coffee, ate, went to the pharmacy, check my bank accounts and rewind several times...🙄
@@dianapita3056 bahaha me too. Been listening on my break while doing a puzzle, and then kept listening while working
"50-70% of ADHD kids are utterly rejected from close friendships by second grade" Im 34. I was diagnosed last year. I wept as he said that.
hug you ! i understand the pain !
I wept too, I too went through it & now I’m watching my child go through it :( I’m hoping EMDR may help with anger outbursts 🫶
And this is not always done by a clear rejection. Your child may be just gently avoided by peers in a class and without any clear event or timing to notice, he or she notices they are alone at some point. Not all of them will tell it to parents. It is so heart breaking.
Same!!! Everyone is know has friends from elementary school and I just have people I've known since elementary school. Its heart breaking. Sending you big hugs!!
To be honest I had to pause this because I'm at 13 mins and ready to cry thinking of my 4 year old and ALL the pieces are coming together for her and what's going on with her. 😭 I will be watching all of this and then some. I need to learn how to help her better with life in all of it....
For some odd reason, it really helps when Barkely explains ADHD. I've had symptoms from very early on, and am now dealing with it as an adult. I always feel like I am "less than" compared to others.
I'm the 40-something year old who gets in a good mood and starts making stupid jokes and laughing. Then, I feel just fine dancing in the store, saying stupid things, etc. My family is embarrassed by me. My family being embarrassed by me makes me feel terrible about myself, and like even my family can't stand being around me. They think I'm immature. I hope I mature at some point, so I can be up to the standards of the general public, and my family.
Not paying attention isn't such a horrible thing (besides driving) most of the time. I'll admit to having a car accident at least once per year when not medicated - all my fault, but I can't really explain how they happened. I didn't see the stop sign. I honestly didn't see it. etc. I do pay attention, though. I pay attention to more than most people. The problem is that I pay attention to whatever I notice - which is a lot of things at once.
I often times just blame myself for not being able to just BE NORMAL. I just want to remember things, remember what I had volunteered to do, remember what the boss told me to do, or at least try to remember. I want to finish things. I want to get the kitchen cleaned - to get something done - to finish.... just finish something.
The only thing that helps is a pill. I want to be normal without a pill. I want to just BE normal. It pisses me off that I can't figure out how - everybody else does.
I take medicine so that people like me, and so that I like myself. Without it, life isn't worth living anymore. Don't worry.... I would never take my own life. I'm aware that I could never actually finish, so I would only be half dead.
tericuppajava Just like he brilliantly said, seat back and enjoy the trip. I know exactly how it feels. I am 35 years old, and I’m just finding out what was wrong with me my entire life. And I found it out accidentally, on the hardest way, since my 5 years old son is also affected. Trying to helping him, I’ve diagnosed him and myself. However, nothing is going to change from my side. I’m going to learn how to deal with him, support him, and guide him on this journey, as I have learned how to deal with myself, and stand strong no matter what. I’ll try my best to be a cooler mom. But I was convinced before that this was me, and my personality, and now this is him, and his personality. I’m not going to adjust myself to the world. My husband after 12 years together has learned to tolerate me, understand me and even support me. I feel bad because even I knew I wasn’t normal, I thought it was just a trait. Now I know I have a disorder. I feel good because I still choose to be happy, and make my disorganized life even more worthy. I hope the world keep understanding, if not I’m here stronger that anyone, changing what might be changed, and whatever I can’t change, let it be.
I’m 18 and I relate to you a lot... I’m the embarrassment. My mom tells me that I’m immature and embarrassing and I always just thought I was babyish... now I know that I’m just, well, emotionally, behaviorally, and developmentally behind.
Don’t be ashamed of who you are I highly doubt your family is embarrasss by you and if they are shame on them not you you’re a human being doing your best JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE surround yourself with good people because happiness is definetly the name of this game called life I promise you
Unfortunately, my husband is embarrassed by me. He hounds me about things like being more serious and realistic. I'm a dreamer. I'm optimistic. I'm silly. I love people. I died my hair purple and I'm 47. One day, I went in Lowes for a shelf. I came out with green paint and painted the livingroom. It's really pretty, though.
Dyed. My phone autocorrected that!
I love how he enjoys himself, and his presentation is inlightning and his dedication is Real. I like it, thanks
Patrick Sørensen JSU’s
@@wonderfeet Barkley's dedication is to big pharma.
Yes to the trades. I was a dog groomer and it was the most gratifying job ever. I had to use plenty of timers and notes and I worked for someone that created my schedule. So I was accountable to them. I also utilized their mobile grooming vehicle, so I was accountable to not wreck that. The job kept me accountable for driving my personal vehicle to keep my driving record clean, to keep my job. I had clients that loved my work with their animals, and so I would be accountable to them to be thorough. My tips also depended on this. Very true. It is also nice to be in different places everyday, and not stuck at a desk in an office. My job had a start and an end instead of monotonous data entry or secretarial work. I always started out strong with those lol, doesn’t last.
I cannot stop watching. As an adult with ADHD (who didn't think I had it anymore because the hyperactivity has gone), a parent of the most amazing child with ADHD and as a teacher I cannot tell you how much your work means to me, Dr Barkley. I am only just beginning to discover your work and I cannot stop sharing with my support group etc. The removal of judgement and shame. So many things I thought but I did not have the science to back it up- eg. visual working memory, breaking things down into much smaller steps, executive age etc. Even just this weekend at a post-graduate course people were saying how ADHD is bad parenting. If only I could have shown them this video! I cannot say THANK YOU enough. You have changed my life and as I share and teach differently I'm sure you will change many more through giving me knowledge.
i will watch the entire video...I have ADHD but this is very interesting so I have no problem staying focused
Erin Liu hyperfocus mode
I do the other thing: i play a casual videogame that doesn't require much attention from me - not in the sound department at least - and while my eyes are focused on the game my ears are eager to hear what this guy has to say. I intentionally split my attention, and in that split i find my comfort.
I listen to his lectures while doing housework. I couldn't do just the one or the other but it's perfect together. Keeping my body and mind at work xD
Erin Liu me to, but did watch in small portions 😄
wow this is a really good vid- oh damn a hot chick commenting! Hi Erin!
My treatments: 1) Go to therapist after a year of searching then asking my mom to find and make appointment.
2) Therapist writes a list of resources and things for me to do. Cool!
3) I go home. See a mess. Spend hours cleaning messes I see in my tiny condo.
4) Omg! I’m so tired!
5) Month later at therapy: How is your to do list coming along?
6) I can’t find it. What list? I need to clean my condo and find it...:(
7) Pay $300
8) over and over again for years. Life wasted.
Until you dont use adhd meds, you will be swimming in the same pond eternally....
I have ADHD so I had to save this to my watch list and watch in chunks while taking notes and doodling. Thank you so much for posting this as free content. I can't imagine how many families and individuals you have helped.
This video just completed 10 years of being uploaded, and I just want to thank Dr. Russel for probably the best explanation ever of ADHD
couldn't agree more!
The part he said about about sincerely and honestly meaning to do something and having it not happen anyways describes me to a tee.
I struggled with undiagnosed/untreated ADHD until I was 35, mostly because I was never fully confident in the diagnosis due to lack of explanation by mental health professionals and therefore lack of understanding by me. This video was the epiphany. It filled in all the gaps and lingering doubt that goes along with "maybe I am, maybe I'm not". I've made my entire family watch it and I refer any mental health practitioner to it that I'm in treatment with.
I would like to commend Dr. Barkley his insight and dedication to educating the masses of this disorder. I have never personally met him but some of the techniques explained has worked amazing. We have a 5 year old ADHD daughter and the most powerful part of this video was the friendship part found at about 13:00. I was in tears listening to that explanation!
Hi do you mind elaborating on your experience.
Met an Autistic child and say that
PLAY saved the child...
so wonderiing if the trust and connection made through your activities were in part contributing to a better experience parenting?!
Yup, this is what triggered my Social Anxiety. It was a very fun youth.
This talk is still one of the most brilliant on the subject I’ve ever seen. This video helped me so much when I was first diagnosed at 31 and still helps me make sense of this often baffling and painful disability…
I would like to hear him address how some of the social behaviors (dating, etc) can be the OPPOSITE of what he described: instead of dating around, sleeping around, not maintaining focus on one partner how they can HYPERFOCUS/obsess on one person for long periods of time, develop anxiety that prevents them from normal dating/sex life etc.
My husband has been my happy, quiet hyperfocus for 23 years of life together. In 2024 we celebrate a quarter-century.
WOW! Just wow!!
You speak with such passion and conviction!
Your explanation of the emotional aspects made me cry because I felt like you were talking about my son and addressing one of the toughest things we face! We are going through the assessment process but I questioned whether he had ADHD since he was only a toddler, but no one ever validated what I was seeing.
Thank you so sooooooo much for making this presentation available to everyone; I'm in Australia 🌏 on a low income, looking for everything I can find to understand and help my son.
This is the best thing I have found at all!
Tears... Of frustration and sympathy. My daughter is ADD/ADHD diagnosed in 2nd grade. I have tried and tried so many tactics and some work but now in middle school and having changed schools I see her struggling to keep friends but she is so bubbly and happy most of the time but at the same time I am seeing her light dim and I hate it for her. I am going to be watching all these videos to see how I can change myself to help her stay happy.
Keep treating your daughter with as much compassion and warmth as you can afford. Our ADHD symptoms are made worse by the stress brought on by judgment and anger - and she's got enough of that in her life. Correction of course needs to be made - as you know, every parent needs to correct their child in order for them to learn to be an adult - but even when correcting her, point out and praise what she did right, no matter how ordinary. There is nothing more soul-sucking and quicker to destroy the raw and vulnerable heart of an ADHDer than to be constantly criticized.
One of the hardest things to understand if you're neurotypical is that your child will be seeing the world through the eyes of a young teenager when she is going out into the world as a young adult. I still experience this age/behavior lag as an adult - I am a middle-aged woman who is seen by people a decade and a half younger than me as an age peer to them, because I behave as a woman in my early 30s, not my middle 40s.
IT IS ESSENTIAL TO KNOW: People with ADHD are NOT helpless. We're NOT babies. We are children and we are adults and we are fighters and lovers and survivors. We are people who are profoundly vulnerable and people who are indomitably strong. If there's anything that I think Dr. Barkley gets wrong it's that he profoundly underestimates the resilience and strength of the people he studies. Your daughter will be a brilliant woman. She only needs the support - including, yes, structures in her life to gently push her in the direction she wants to go - to get there. But these are structures - "scaffolding" as Dr. Barkley puts it. They're not the building. They're not her life. They're just the things that help her build the life she wants to live.
One more thing: You keep going, too. Never stop loving her fiercely. Never stop holding hope for her. Never stop believing in her blithe spirit. You're her light, her hope, and her model of adulthood in the world, remember that too. She's got a fighter on her side.
One hour in, I am grateful to have been born late enough to get help as an adult with this disorder. Very unhappy with my handling of the disorder for my son, and yet my son shared this link with me in a family discussion thread. So far the high value to word content (lots of information packed in with precise brevity) means I have to take yet another break and return to this repeatedly to finish.
As someone who has not been evaluated for ADHD but relates to a lot of symptoms of primarily inattentive type ADHD/ with people with primarily inattentive type ADHD, I still felt like I 'didn't belong' because there were still some things I didn't relate to. However, when he mentioned SCT, I went to do a cursory google search on it as I've been doing with other disorders mentioned here and that's me. The things I didn't relate to with ADHD people, the problems I've always had with working slow, having a bit delayed understanding with things, my constant mental foggines, my difficulty with regulating sleep, everything makes sense with SCT. I'm not exaggerating when I say I cried when I read that. This video I accidentally stumbled upon has been the best gift ever to me.
I want to add one more tip for parents:
Caregiver burnout is real and painful for everyone, including your child. TAKE SCHEDULED BREAKS from your kid. Ask grandma to watch them while you go to the grocery store alone (now your child is no longer overwhelmed by the marketing messages, colors and smells) and you can meet a friend and have an uninterrupted adult conversation.
Take a weekend off with your spouse. Take a night off to do a hobby away from home, taking a class or just window shopping.
If you don't refill your emotional 'tank' you'll either unintentionally neglect or blow up at your kid... or holding in all that stress will make you sick.
As a pro caregiver, some of my past clients have had in-home, full-time family help but were able to use me to get breaks and not lose their mind. Studies showing caregivers who don't get breaks are VERY likely to either hurt themselves or their charge.
Don't think you have to go it alone. Humans' superpower is what incredible things we can accomplish when we cooperate and help each other!
I think my parents could have done better if their parents had lived closer to them (my mom's parents lived half an hour away, my dad's were two and a half hours).
This is the most enlightening speak about ADHD that I have ever watched. I got emotional several times watching this video. I felt a mix of sadness for having lived decades without understanding myself and not being understood by others; excitement of finally making sense of things that have such a deep impact in my life and my child's life; and gratitude for having access to this knowledge to help me, not only with my personal struggles, but also with my child's struggles. Thank you for posting the complete video.
Strumming my pain with his fingers...singing my life with his words....
This legit caused me to 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
This guy is an absolute legend. Thank you so much for your straight-talking, no nonsense, keeping-it-real teachings. I am wholly inspired with a renewed sense of purpose. Thank you for the wake up call.
For anyone who needs to hear this, I got through nursing school with adhd, depression, anxiety and the emotional issues I had from trauma. Do not let people tell you that you are lying, that you are making it up, that you are lazy, that you are stupid, and annoying, and crazy... You are so much more then that. Show them! Because the people you surround yourself with should know enough about you to understand you and your problems, and be able to see through the reaction. If you are concerned you may have it, get help now. I waited way too long, I waited until I couldn't cope anymore and thats the problem with mental health today. Do research, learn about your brain so that you don't get stuck blaming yourself for your adhd.
I have a masters!
💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻❤️
This is such a great speech. I saw some comments saying they cried when watching this video. I thought I wouldnt. However I cried at last. He fully understands what the parents of ADHD experienced. That is so hard to parenting a child like this. So So Hard.
At the age of five I was hyper active. That was a very bad thing. Now at the age of seventy five I am still hyper active. For me this is now a good thing. In the early fifties they made me repeat the entire first grade. At that time no one knew or cared about ADHD. I knew nothing about it myself until I was seventy and retired. Fortunately for me I chose an occupation which is a true meritocracy. Although I was not the most popular guy in the shop, I was the guy who made the boss the most money which usually made me even more unpopular.
I was diagnosed with ADD over 30 years ago and have been in and out of therapy my whole life and never in that time have I gained even a fraction of the knowledge and insight that I did with this video. I've never felt more seen or understood than I have after watching this and this approach will be my gold standard at how I approach myself and what I expect from any therapist trying to aid me. Thank you Dr Barkely for all your efforts.
It's fortunate that parents/teachers/caregivers have this research today for you to help understand and educate them.
My parents or doctors didn't have these tools. I have been diagnosed with adhd for over 3 decades. I had to teach myself my boundaries and limitations and develop tools for myself to use to help me become successful. Most of the comments and suggestions are spot on. When I was a kid, they gave me extra time, which was useless because if the work was easy, I flew through it (losing pounts because I couldn'tremember to show my work). If not, I would hyper focus on questions I didn't know and not complete the test.
And yes it took me 30min to write this.
This approach really worked for my son. I highly recommend his books and videos.
i'm 23 and i only JUST NOW feel ready enough to handle college. that'd make my executive age around 16 (which feels about right tbh)
knightsintodreams people start college at 18, or 19 though? Most 16 year olds are not ready for college imo
Sounds hopeful ❤️🙏🏻👍🏻 I am in my 50’s now and I feel like I am maybe 12-14 in mental executive age. 😳🤦♀️
I didn't feel mature until I turned 40.
T0mpkinz but it’s not like their WHOLE brain is 16 years old, only components of it
Good for you for waiting! I went right away and the first three years were emotionally terrible for me.
I then took a year off, and somehow something clicked. I went back the following year, and I excelled bc I was finally ready. I really wish I hadn't lost those first 3 years.
My 7 year old son has ADHD among several other disorders and disabilities. I wish I was shown this talk years ago! I feel like you know my child better than I do. I’m learning things about my son from you and I’m only 40 mins in! Thank you for your passion and knowledge for our children!
IIRC, Dr Barkley’s family member had ADHD and died in an MVA. Unmedicated ADHDers have 4x the MVA accidents. Teen pregnancies are higher, too, as are high school/college incompletion rates. He is very dedicated and driven about the topic.
1:24:30 to 1:26:05 is the best part of the speech I love to hear it again and again
wow. i really appreciate, admire and respect everything this brilliant man is saying . i just turned 40 and realized a while back that I most likely have been an undiagnosed adhd individual my entire life. everything he is saying , all the examples, specifically how ones psychology changed from adolescence to adulthood, this all resonates so completely that it is actually painful when I think about it. i am in the process of getting diagnosed by a licensed psychiatrist and I am going to share this video with her because having stumbled across this video, it just reaffirms my thoughts 100%. Thank you so much Jason Solotti , for posting this , and thank you Dr. Barkely for your honesty , passion , conviction and most importantly (imo), for your FIRE! (so evident in the delivery of this message), which , unfortunately seems to be so lacking in todays day and age. Dr. Barkley, you seem to speak speak from the heart, and you deliver these words with a sense of urgency and conviction that should not go unnoticed or unappreciated. Thank you for fucking owning it sir. We need more people like you in this world. With appreciation and respect, Thank You!
He clearly knows he's a genius and that motivates him. I found him brilliant and very eloquent. What a man. God bless these creatures who make this world a better place.
Excellent lecture. So good to finally have everything laid out before you. I was one of the ignorant who had all sorts of theories as to what causes adhd. This has thoroughly explained to me what really causes it and how medications actually work to help those with ADHD function. I recommend anyone to take the time to watch this - even if you’ve got to do it in bursts, watch it through.
love this scientist SO much. His presentations make SO much sense.
1:16:15 This is the moment I realised ADHD had been hampering me all my life, I think I had all the drive a non-ADHD person could summon and so many times I've promised improvement to myself and others but I lose continuity and end up on the same old path.
I think so many people must've thought I was being devious or insincere even though I think it was quite clear I could not have been more sincere.
I remember my father telling me when I was late to school everyday something along the lines of: I know you're not embarressed by being late everyday but you're embarressing me.
People were litterally telling me they were ashamed of me like fuck. People tell you if you just try hard enough you will succeed but it has never been more obvious what a lie this is with the contrast of my life before and after medication.
1:23:46 Also, wow, this hammers it home more, its not instructional! I learnt my lesson probably the first time, I wish it were just a matter of understanding, I just can't *do it*.
Brought me to tears after realizing what I've been feeling. This is amazing, the first step to understanding myself in a deeper way and to further my development as a person and my future ❤️
Truly amazing, thank you for your insight. So many questions answered and a feeling of weight lifted off my shoulders for something that I didn't understand. Thank you
I’ve watched a bunch of Dr. Barkley’s lectures now, and every time I think a.) I’ve never seen anyone with this much confidence in his take on things and b.) related to the first: this is truth mixed with things that aren’t always true of ADD’ers. Don’t take it all as gospel truth. Learned a lot though!
Please balance this info with John Ratey and some others who research about ADHD and ALSO have it themselves.
Oh my God. This video has been a blessing. Very good information. Its a good way to start on learning to be your child's advocate.
I love the frustration he expresses at how the DSM and psychiatric community see this disorder.
Started watching this to understand my Adhd, finished watching this understanding my daughter as well.
Dr. Barkley is a genius, but most of all, he is so informative. I wish he could be my personal coach for me and my 17-year old daughter.
I’m going to go get some meds and start working out :-) wish me good luck
Good luck
A relevant point from my own experience is that people who struggle in similar ways as I do will internalize or externalize their reactions and negative emotions. Internalization leads to depression but an outward appearance that everything is fine; externalizing behavior leads to oppositional defiance; rebellious conflict oriented behavior. But both stem from the same core internal experience of interacting with the world with a particular set of deficits...
I'm so touched by this video I can only say thanks to dr. barkely and to the uploader. It's so mind opening, that i just ask myself how I didn't come through it before...
Great video, great insight. I loved how personal and profound you were able to make this disorder, taking away the airy constructs and stigmas that are associated with ADHD. You really focused on the serious underlying deficits of this disorder without harping on the obvious lack of attention that many people think of with this disorder.
My daughtet has just been expelled from school because school dont understand her ADHD. I am also part to blame because i felt she was a naughty child and felt overwhelmed with school complaints emails. I agreed with the expulsion.
I ve been reading and researching about her ADHD/ ODD seriously the past 1 week and with this Video I see her differently and will SUPPORT her 100% ...in a week my approach to her behaviour has taken 360 turn...she is also on vyvance...
- Falha de persistência 17:19
- Dificuldade em se manter no objetivo 20:24
- Autocontrole não é aprendido 25:45
- Motivação 32:04
- Miopia gerada pelo TDAH dificuldade em enxergar futuro 1:13:40
- Dificuldade em organizar tarefas de forma hierárquica 1:14:53
- Tdah precisa de mais responsabilidades, sofrer as consequências das suas atitudes 1:21:35
- Ferramentas para TDAH 1:27:54
85 slices , 45 years life work , I have brought 2 of your books ! we appreciate you so so much !
oh my God! I wish my mother had been able to watch this years ago. My mom nor anyone in the family understood ADHD and she had adopted a child with ADHD and Autism. We had no warning from psychologists that this would result in psychopathy and we found out the hard way when she fatally injured some of our pets and her out of control behavior became worse and worse because my mom gave into her behavior instead of establishing clear penalties and executing them immediately. I think had she seen this talk and understood it, what the family went through would have been drastically different (better) in terms of managing the child's behavior and understanding what she could and could not be trusted with. I with this was required viewing for everyone with a child with ADHD, and frankly every psychologist and psychiatist. I think it would help them all.
just discovered Dr Barkely a month ago, the wealth of knowledge and value especially in this video is irreplaceable, ive downloaded it and have been taking notes for the last week
It's unfortunate that the title of this video does not really do justice to the breadth and scope of this incredible content. This is an essential overview of everything to do with ADHD. Essential viewing for ADHD afflicted families and individuals of all ages.
God has truly blessed you with a gift. You can put into words what so many of us with ADHD cannot. I have the rare,after puberty, hyperactivity.
As I’m watching this I told a friend I was watching a three hour talk about adhd.
“You have ADHD but can focus on a three hour talk”
Oh get lost.
What annoyed me more was that I could not remember what I learned on the spot that what the video taught me about my own disorder!! 😂😂😂😂
Adhd in a nutshell.
One of the reasons I know he’s an expert in ADHD is he doesn’t bullshit about it being some kind of “superpower” or career advantage (entrepreneur) like so many of the talking heads out there. They also don’t distinguish themselves from the disorder, which is not helpful in the least.
Thank you!!!! I feel like Mr. Barkley was talking to me! He gave me clarity on all of my questions and concerns!!!! I finally know the why? my adopted child is behaving the way she is! And the HOW? her little brain works! And HELP I needed to help her even more! And so much more!!!! THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH! THANK YOU!
After the all-validating pablum therapists have fed me, after years and years of effort only to backslide, hearing Dr. Barkley speak the truth of the science boldly and in no uncertain terms is a thing of overwhelming beauty. It may be a hard thing to hear that we need to bring consequences much closer to our work, but he is absolutely correct. I just hope there's a way for me to deal with the anxiety that will result.
You need to remember that "consequences" also mean positive results.
I woke up this morning (I am a freelance writer by profession) to five glowing reviews of my professional work in my project management system's inbox. Those, too, are consequences! And they feed your soul and renew your focus and your desire to focus - they fill your ADHD executive function "battery" if you're not someone who believes in souls.
The word "consequence" has an anxious implication in our society because "consequence" and "accountability" are seen as a synonym for "criticism" and "failure." But a consequence is JUST the outcome of your action - be it for good or for ill - and accountability is ONLY the moment where your actions are seen and accounted for.
If you think of ANY feedback, positive, negative, or neutral, as a form of accountability, and the happiness of your clients as a consequence of your actions, it becomes much easier to deal with.
Also, if your therapists are giving you no challenges to respond to, you need new therapists.
Wow.. Thank You. I could CRY< my little guy who is now 12 has honestly lived hard because his school refuses to believe this is real. if they only would listen to this. then maybe they would lighten up on son.
Absolutely true: accountability and repercussion= I did it for myself, emotionally. It works. Fast rewards fast accountability, my parents did unfortunately the opposite. They took for granted that I was unable, so did not train or push me.
daiiiiimn this guy is incredibly on par.....like way way on par.
This is so helpful. I want to understand what's going on in the brain, so please have the camera person capture the visual aids.
PROFOUND!!!!! Thank you for your work Dr. Barkley!
Mind blowing! Thank you Dr Barkely
This rocks so hard I can't even express myself. Thank you so much.
I became a step mom to a very autistic adhd child and its been so hard on me. This is really helping me understand why nothing I do is working because my approach is all wrong. Thank you for this
Wow I’m 28 in 2 week. I’ve lost everything. This hit me so hard I’ve had nothing but epiphanies for the last week about it all and about my life, and my family, my parents, my sisters. It all makes sense now. :/
May you live long and healthy life!
Tried college after high school. No luck, joined the Army. Then at 30 I went back and was finally able to focus enough and motivated enough to graduate cum laude. If I didn’t truly love my major there’s no way I would have gotten it done. I’m now in a masters program and while nervous, I’m confident that my love for science and my older age of now 33 will help.
This video was done 10 years ago. I hope , in year 2022, this doctor is still with us , practicing a try and doing his research .
Russel is definitely right about how much junk is out there. When I first started trying to find out about ADHD, I spent hours sifting through useless information before finding sources like this.
Currently watching this and enjoying it, fascinating stuff, wonderful speaker. BUT. Where are the slides?? How hard would it be to insert a slide for 30 seconds and go to voice over? VERY frustrating.
I would love to find a transcript of this video! Or a book with this content.
You have done a good job marketing ADHD medication.
Wonderful Resource Thank You!
Thankyou.... Dr Russell Barkley.....
No one could explain better...
I had the classic progression from ADHD to ODD, to conduct disorder, to substance use disorder and antisocial behavior, with comorbid persistent depressive disorder, until age 25, then all the sudden I had access to self control and executive functioning, I got sober, I developed discipline, emotion regulation, a meditation practice, I enrolled in college, I got a job at the treatment facility where I got sober, I earned a masters in counseling and an LPC license. I still don’t understand what happened. I was on a trajectory they say you can’t get off, but something shifted. Since becoming a clinician I’ve witnessed countless other transformations in severely ADHD people with addictions and other disorders, remissions occur, but I can’t explain them. I’d love to see more research into how the brain can change and defy all previous indications of a life long disorder.
I was diagnosed at 28 and I’m very positive my 12yr son has adhd and I’m currently in the process of getting him diagnosed. But these helped me personally as well as helping him be successful. However I’m working on consistency 😅
Yes my son has ADHD the way this amazing man has explained it... I always have been told the label was because he couldn't sit still... has meltdowns while younger and couldn't talk until he was 4-5... but when he learnt he used the huge big words no one thought a 5 year old could think of and knowing the meaning to them..
Hello Lauren..my son is 5 with ADHD. Please can you give some of your precious advises...i am feeling very depressed these days...he is not sitting in one place...he is speaking only 15 words and not continuous sentence...he is not at all concentrating
@@stephanselvanathan1070 I will once it's not 4.16am and not over thinking his next appointment today with the counsellor (after speech, OT, child psychologist and others I have forgot) she's the only one that has had long lasting effects so far... Also cutting down sugar has helped so much... especially fruit boxes, pop tops etc has a huge impact on him he's 11 now and I'm getting less sleep now than I did back when he was having meltdowns daily... The speech therapy had me do sign language extremely basic but helped at the time
@@laurenlnb2386 thanks a lot for your reply Lauren...it is 12.30 am here(india) I am much deprssed and thinking of what will be the future of my son... When you "I am getting less sleep" do you mean that she is not sleeping...is your daughter ok now after therapy.
@@stephanselvanathan1070 I'm more worried about now he's stronger so I've been told to lock him out of the house or myself in the car when he's having a meltdown... He's in year 5 in school but doing year 2 work... Our state gov has just told us year 6 now will be the end of primary school... This virus thing isn't helping of course no one is giving us answers... I'm lucky I'm in South Australia the only caes so far this second wave are from overseas and people are doing the right thing... The Victorians are my worry they keep jumping the borders into South Australia (our little town is in a path to Adelaide if they don't want to be caught by police)... My 11 year old won't stop sucking his thumb and I have tried everything I know to try... The worry and endless nights don't stop they will never stop... High school is 2 years away his last year of primary school is next year he's no where close to being able to handle the change... Going from year 2 into year 3 (they move up in the school itself with a different teacher they have 3 teachers though primary school and sso's (people how come in and help the teacher and kids to a under what is going on)... My worries are endless as yours are but I'm really lucky that if all else fails he can come and work in the family business (general store and caravan park in the same town but separate) I just need him to give respect to women (he's starting to with me and the teachers) .. The only person helping him is the counsellor... His dad doesn't think cutting DOWN suger helps (IT REALLY DOES). His dad and his parents won't give him medicine in their care because they don't think he needs it... I have tried everything else and they throw it back in my face, I didn't think I would ever be THAT parent that has to put her child on meds... I just hope the good side effects out weigh the bad ones
@@stephanselvanathan1070 My I suggest having said child evaluated for ASD
This literally changed my entire life mindset now.
I have so much frustration in my current relationship. So much inconsideration. I have adhd but now I'm pretty sure my partner does too but in more aggressive ways.
Thank you for posting this all in one video. I’ve been looking for this for weeks because all I can find are the chopped pieces. Thank you thank you 🙏