Parenting Teens Toward Adulthood (Part 1) - Dr. Ken Wilgus
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 22 ส.ค. 2022
- Dr. Ken Wilgus encourages parents to deliberately work their way out of the parenting role by the time their child is 18, and instructs them to see their teenagers as young adults, not large children. He offers tips on how to progressively give your teen more responsibility, along with examples of how to have difficult conversations on a range of topics, from music choices to dating.
Get Ken's book, Feeding the Mouth That Bites You: bit.ly/3AEcvtM
For more resources on this topic: bit.ly/3R1tSdh
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Parenting a teen and young adult these days is unbelievably difficult, exhausting and soul breaking
This is SO AFFIRMING! Our oldest son just graduated and he has been pushing to get out since he was 13! I have thought so many times that we would have had WAY fewer issues if he could have graduated when he was 14. He would have been okay. Instead, we went through a whole lot of issues, and have been on a nauseating roller coaster ride, but we are PRAYING that we are coming out on the other side and that he is getting back on track to adulthood.
The Lord Jesus perfect timing in hearing this message as I’m struggling with parenting my 2 teens. So many wow moments that the Lord opened up my mind to understand my teens behavior. Love the analogy of parents occupying our teens “state/country”and they want us out. Thank you for the practical tips. Can’t wait to hear part 2 and read the book.
The same here , having difficult times with my 14 year old son
Same issue with 14 yr old son becoming a stranger and always wanting to be with his friends.
When I first began listening it caused an eyebrow raise however by the end I was in full agreement. Great presentation!
I’m so glad I found this my baby boy (12 years old ) is struggling so bad mentally & I know it has to do with how I have parented him looking toward to trying these new strategies ❤
It's not easy, but it's one of the best "jobs" we have. Celebrate and enjoy all parts of it. Celebrate yourself as well through it all.
What happens when they are making choices that are dangerous for them? I believe there are times when you need to protect them from themselves! We have wisdom that they do not and there are times where they need protecting.
I agree. I don't think this works with every teen. In fact, I think it's important to highlight that he says "normal teen behavior." I don't think he's saying that anything goes. As parents, we still need to have boundaries, especially when there are younger kids in the home, but I think having the "I will not only allow you to grow up, but I will help you grow up" mentality, instead of the "keep my babies forever" thought is what he's getting at.
Wish I had heard this BEFORE my kids became teens! A brilliant plan!
It's not easy to handle teenage daughters now a days.
no its not i feel overwhelmed most days im so tired
Was it ever?
@@L0vejenjenme too. It’s harder then looking after newborns.
I needed this! I have a 15 year old boy and now I better understand why the strife has been there. Thank you for sharing this. My heart is healing with hearing this. 💓
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This has been the BEST information I have seen on working with my children/Teens. Thank you.
This was FANTASTIC!!
LOVE THIS! I needed this so badly. Thank you so much.
This was awesome! I agree 100%!!
This is exactly what Islam teaches about teenagers being young adults rather older kids.. amazing to hear from this specialist 🎉bravo
This was difficult to hear. But I understand why I found it. I was driving and let TH-cam direct what played next. Perfect timing. I have a 13 & 14 year old and so thankful they do their own laundry! My daughter and I struggle over the music she listens to. I am having a hard time getting her to see how our ear and eye gate effects our life, and bring us closer to Christ or further away. I’m planning the conversation in my head to give up that control. I believe this will change her perspective! 🙏🏻
I have a 14 and a 15 year old. This video was really helpful to me. One trick I've learnt with him, and maybe it'll work with your daughter, is curiosity.
My son spends too much time on his phone and used to be on one particular game a lot. Instead of groaning about it I'd ask him questions instead and he'd happily talk about it. Now I ask him if he's watched/listened to anything interesting recently and he shows me things. We do also have time boundaries but that's a different story!
Best of luck.
Oh and well done with the laundry, I'm nowhere with that one!
Thank you for sharing ❤️
This is 1 of the best messages I've heard. It is true that Christianity is a joke to the people we are called to be light and salt too. Only when the church is disciplined in love do they become effective disciples.
I see this 9 out of 10 times on respectable display by people who aren't Christians. It's mind blowing and it's not okay.
This is really great. Thank you so much
I used this approach with my oldest, did not go well. I will control, as much as needed. I will not allow mine to hang with the wrong crowd, make big important decisions with their immature brains. Sorry, this can be bad advise. If it worked for you, great, but it will not work for all.
Life is more expensive now, and I refuse to allow my children to struggle. I will help them for a while longer.
I really needed to hear this today. My 13 year old just asked me when he could move out and I broke down. I felt like a failure as a parent. I've loved and supported him and not hovered over him. He has lots of the freedoms spoken about here. So it really blind-sided me when he said he wanted to move out. But hearing this advice gives me some comfort that it's normal and I need to carry on gearing him up to leave.
They are so much smarter than we give them credit for
Praying for our son. Our heart is aching for him...he seemed to know everything he is doing is right and reasonable...he is a SH graduating student. We are trying to reach out to him to help and to guide, but he already kept a distance from us🥺 but still we're doing all we can to ahow him our love. His dad and I are both pastoring a church but he started to stay away from the people in the church, too.😢😢
Adult in training...love it
fantastic..just what l needed
Great content!
Wow this was brilliant, I’ve now bought the book to get more tips
I had saved this in my "watch later" a long time ago. I'm so grateful I found it again because I have recently become very discouraged and hopeless with a 9 year battle to get to the cause of a complete health decline. Doctors just pull out their prescription pads and tell me "everything looks normal" but I know it's not. I am planning to reach out for more info- thank you!!
We look forward to your call, friend. In the meantime, we'll be praying for you and your son.
Great video!😅❤
Enjoyed your teaching.
Not one size fits all in marriages or families.
nice to be hear...an advocate for teenagers
Thank You Jesus for this man 🥹🙏🏼☝🏼🫂😭
Thank you 🙏
Thenks for your perspective
😊👏👏👏 THANK YOU
I will be back Wednesday night, have a nice whole! Monday, Tuesday,
And part of Wednesday off!
My daughter is 11. I love her. I am just looking for help. I don't want to make the same mistakes that my father made
So true about the homework! Hahahaha
This definitely depends on the kids maturity level. They are not all emotionally equipped by a certain age, to take on all choices. Their choices and actions, have guided me on what more I can hand over to them. Little at a time, as they show more and more maturity. I have had both. One, where they were given and could handle much responsibility and important life changing choices and another one, who is waay younger than their age. Emotionally and mentally, they are still a small child. Have had to take more baby steps.
Keys are to be patient and forgiving. Then just wait, you will see quick changes which seem overnight.
He definitely allows some flexibility for when you introduce different freedoms of choice.
As an atheist, I came in skeptical, but no this guy is legit. Great advice for any parent regardless of faith or lack there of.
Adolescence is distinct from adulthood. Teens are still developing mentally, sexually, and physically. (How many fifteen-year-old boys are at their peak height and muscle mass?)
Thank you this really helped me lots 😊
Great❤❤❤❤ ❤
My son is happy, too that I was strict or as he said, he'd be dead or in prison.
This does not always work.
What about going at it late😣 what about instead of starting at 12 we start at 16?
Where did the statistics come from? I have heard the "14 yo girls got married" trope for 30 years. That was RARE, not average.
Hmm - so you don't practise what you preach - your wife got TOLD what to do - "Stand up Sally" . . .
I'm 45 and parents practiced dictatorship and it worked but it can't work within generation
Gif ox.
I heard Laura will talk about abortion, but I don't see it on site!
I don't know how to spell her Last name!
Hi, Jeffrey. We think you might be talking about Laura Lynn Hughes. You can order a copy of the broadcast from our online store. bit.ly/3AHGn8q
We have more abortion stories here: www.focusonthefamily.com/pro-life/abortion/abortion-stories/
We hope this helps. Blessings!
@@focusonthefamily your lineup for Canada, was something else
For Wednesday and Thursday night! Should've changed it!
Now they might be adults oooooo 50 ish
I appreciate the explanation but I don't believe this teaching is in alignment with God's word! Why would I give my teenager permission to do something that's going to hurt them or possibly someone else ??
I agree with very little of this. Not helpful. We are to protect our kids from being conformed to this world. Scripture wasn't consulted.
TH-cam 😂
Their blood is on your hands
I think this is based on Caucasian culture
?
Ong💀
May be worth listening to it a second time
What you're teaching is dangerous and contrary to what God's word says. Proverbs 22:6 says "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it!" Children don't know what's best for them, which is why we have to tell them and then hold them accountable. 🙏🏾🙌🏾
How do?
The key word in this passage is "child." The speaker is stating childhood ends at 13. It is true " adolescent" was created but much earlier and developed in the early 1900's. We have artificially prolonged adulthood to control thr masses. Look into John Taylor Gatto.
Look into the history of our founding fathers.