Remember, "the issue with looking at someone through rose-coloured glasses is that the red flags just look like flags!" Be sure to take your time in the early stages of getting to know someone so you can be sure that they're a good match for you and you're not blocking your opportunity to be with a better fit! Wishing everyone the best ❤
oh wow, you don't really know guys point of view. many men who aren't as female experienced constantly call/text because they are not getting a response or not the right response to let them know that the one they are interested in is not interested. don't be nice to them every time you see them, that just confuses men thinking you actually do like them, they will bounce back and forth until you stop. so stop doing that if you keep doing that. silence is a response, but silence without context is just emotional abuse
Tip 6 is everything! I've always said; go for a week long canoe-camping trip with a partner in back-country... if you can survive that without fighting you can survive anything 😅
What I find to be the BIGGEST turn off is when you're talking to a brand new guy on the phone, and they dont ask me ANY questions about myself! Ugh!!! I always ask guys questions about themselves, because I'm naturally a "curious" person.... I may let it go for 1 or 2 phone conversations, but I definitely pick up on it, like- does the guy even CARE about learning more about me??? 😣 So frustrating!!!
I was 9 months into extensive text conversations and a few dates with a guy I was really interested in, before it materialised he didn't even know my surname. What a wake up call!
That’s because YALL most of the time always talking about yourselves 😂😂😂. Mouths never stop going. It’s either your story, your friends story or your family stories all damn day. Relax and listen to the man.
@@planneristnot all ladies…ive left space for questions and its just crickets and becomes awkward. If a man’s interested he will be engaging it will flow and be enjoyable. Everyone not for everybody…just have to weed through the bs. New age dating 🙄lol
1. Take off the rose-colored glasses 2. Look for signs that they are selfish or bragging - authentic people will take a genuine interest in you - they will be an active listener 3. Smothering or obsessive - calling or constant texting contact - want to see you everyday - if they are prematurely trying to integrate themselves into your family or friend group - if they are trying to latch onto you too soon - it’s shows signs of control and toxic dependency - you need time and space to step back and genuinely reflect on how your interactions have been going so far - allow a healthy amount of mystery - and time to breathe and develop over time 4. If they mention their ex on your date - or at any point early on - especially unprovoked - you didn’t ask - even if they are bitter about their ex - if they describe themselves as a victim - this means that they are still not healed and still hung up on the past - avoid seeing someone who had a recent breakup - sooner than 6 or 7 months - if they are still friends with their ex, that bond will inevitably cause issues down the line - there is still some emotional tie that they are not willing to let go of - 5. Make note of who their friends are - what you permit - you promote - values and behaviors that you agree with - the people they choose to be around will have a direct impact on their behavior - where they go on the weekend - who they interact with - how they treat other people - and how they treat themselves - this person will put their best face on in the beginning and noting their friends will help give you insight into who they most likely really are 6. Observe them in a high stress situation - you never truly know a person until you’ve seen them angry or stressed - this may take a while because they are showing their best side to you - do they have road rage - are they jealous - do they act childish or immature when you are having a disagreement -
Thank you for this video. There was a girl I was talking to after a social event on WhatsApp and I felt things were to rushed. Such as over sharing, the constant love flirty messages, it felt pretty exhausting ngl to the point that I couldn’t even end the convo. I was gonna ask her for a date but I just felt that gut instinct that something didn’t seemed right. She kept indirectly persisting me to go on a date with her or video call her even though we only spoke for a few days at that point. When I refused and decided to go on separate ways she still continued and even asked me to meet up with her and her guy friends. That was the last straw for me. I felt that I did the right thing but keeping my distance and moving on. Ngl I always felt that getting to know someone on a deeper level should take time and should never ever feel rushed. If it does then I think you need to be careful.
I'm so glad you listened to your instincts! I've been in similar situations in the past. If you're already feeling overwhelmed or uncomfortable from the jump, it's a strong indication that it's not the right fit.
I was talking to a guy, but I’m sorta embarrassed, I told him a lot about I felt because while we were trying to figure out if we would be a good match, he asked me what I found attractive about him. I was sorta hesitant to tell him because I wasn’t sure if we would even work out, (we didn’t obviously) but he would say things like “Who says we won’t work out?”, etc. He tried in the beginning, but expected me to reach out 90% of the time. I do feel like it’s partly on me, because I’m socially awkward, but I found it hard to talk to the guy irl because I got really nervous, so I wouldn’t say anything and most times we just didn’t talk. There were also certain times where he would mention his past relationships/talking stages. A part of me feels like I was just an ego-boost, but I still got attached because I’ve never been in an relationship. Sometimes I feel like I’ll never been in an relationship, or no guy will ever like me for me. How do I get over him?
Hey! I'm sorry you had to go through that - I like to see these experiences as learning opportunities above all else. 😊 I wouldn't put the blame on you for feeling socially awkward, I promise you that the right person will make you feel comfortable and like you can be yourself without having to put on a mask or feel unnatural. It sounds to me like his behaviour and comments were very egocentric and that he was looking for validation. He certainly may have been interested in you but based on what you've listed, he seems to lack some maturity. In terms of moving on, just remember that everyone comes into your life for a reason or to teach you a lesson about what you really want. Every time you put yourself out there to go on a date, you're gaining more information about the qualities you like/dislike in someone so you can be better informed the next time! Also, don't stress about it not working out. Putting yourself out there takes a lot of courage and vulnerability so you should be proud of yourself! My favourite mantra I like to tell myself is: "whatever is truly meant for you, will never pass you by." ❤ I hope that helps a bit!
Great tips for red flags Lanz. I think it’s also very relevant for friends as well as we have to protect our energy with all people we let in and surround ourselves with.
I wasted three months with someone who was clearly hung up on his ex. Even on the first date he was describing how gorgeous, beautiful in shape etc she was and yes he was still in regular contact, used to go to her house weekly using his 19 yr old son as an excuse 🤔🤨🙄. I'm not by nature a jealous person. I didnt feel jelousy or threatened by the ex, just disrespected, because i don't think harping on in that way especially without being asked is appropriate. In retrospect i should have bowed out after the first date. But thought I'd give him more time/see how it went. I've found men try to jump into other relationships/ dating way before they are ready. Some even when they are not properly separated (ie split, but still living together! Its a minefield!) It isn't fair try and start something with another person when they literally have nothing to offer because they haven't done the inner work & simply aren't ready. I'd say other red flags are unadressed depandamcy issues with alcohol etc, also people who are looking to live with someone from the outset, yes they are out there.
The weird thing is he wants to hangout everyday and has already introduced me to his family and integrated me into his friend group but he doesn’t know if he wants to be official yet and he needs time
I am in a "talking stage" with 3 women right now. Each woman is in a "talking stage" with multiple men. Promiscuity is fantastic for mental health! ! ! I have never been happier!
I loveeeee your videos!! I the way you give advice and then give detailed scenarios and examples I love it. This channel is amazing thank you. 🙏🏽 💖 Also curious did you go to school for psycholog?
You're so sweet I'm so happy you like the videos! ❤For school, I did a Bachelors Degree in Communications and recently completed my Masters of Communications!
thanks for this! really needed to hear this but hear me out. I've been talking to this guy for a couple of weeks now, and I notice he would compare a lot of our situations to his ex. He would always tell me that she was very toxic and very controlling. I get it we gotta trauma dump sometimes, but i feel like he kinda uses me for emotional support. He also has seemed very busy recently, and has become more distant, as before we would talk everyday otp and would even sleep otp togogether , did I mess it up by getting to close in the beginning?
As soon as I heard point 4 I realized this advice is mostly for straight people. In the wlw community so many people are friends with their ex. I actually see it as a positive if you can still hang out and do not hate each other.
damn shouldve watchd this sooner. We were fting almost everyday for 3 weeks, she even cut off everybody after 1 week to focus on building the connection we had. But in the process I shouldv'e picked up how much she mentioned her ex. Cause after 3.5 weeks of constantly fting even a irl date, she couldn't be with me because of her previous relationship and how her past traumas are making her unable to get into a relationship now. HUGE POINT when it comes to watching out for when the mention their ex a lot. Ig I was used and she realized she couldn't get over him, note, they were together for 9 months and just broke up 4 months ago. She even sent me vids of them together, there's no way she was over him.(Even tho she kept saying she was)
There’s this guy I’ve been talking to for nearly 2 months. Every now and then he randomly goes half a day without responding back to my last message and then follows up with a apology. Also, I’ve seen him once every 2 weeks and he lives in long island and I’m in NYC. Red flag?
🎉 see them in sickness and health, stress and wealth. Go to the holidays with them. Friends and family times. See them in their surroundings to see if what they say is what they actually live. See them in times of stress advice is one of the most important things. Actions speak what words don't ...or won't. It's far worse to be down the road and have to break someone's heart because you know you are not the one. Or to have them disappear because they don't know how to troubleshoot or they don't care about troubleshooting because they found a better deal somewhere else. Save yourself time and find a best friend first without the intimacy making everything more positive than it actually is.
right now ive been talking to this girl for almost a month and she is hot/cold and doesn't seem much interested in me at times lmao but she's also an only child and had mentioned that she has only child syndrome ;/ should I run?
@@giancarlomatute8125 but that didn’t mean we already couple right? Because there’s this girl I been talking to and she said she had crush on me and I kind a like her too and we literally talk everyday since I’m in same school with her some time we hangout together after school.Well what should I do now should I ask her to be my gf now it’s already been like 5 week we close to each other and this is my first time so I don’t really know what to do
I want to date you! We would be very compatible,has nothing to do with aesthetics, it’s very much impossible to meet someone that feels the same way on human behavior and acts accordingly. Kidding…well a little 😉
Well-structured and thought-out tips that both genders can adhere to. The video would have been more informative if I didn't keep getting distracted by those eyes 😊
Remember, "the issue with looking at someone through rose-coloured glasses is that the red flags just look like flags!" Be sure to take your time in the early stages of getting to know someone so you can be sure that they're a good match for you and you're not blocking your opportunity to be with a better fit!
Wishing everyone the best ❤
oh wow, you don't really know guys point of view. many men who aren't as female experienced constantly call/text because they are not getting a response or not the right response to let them know that the one they are interested in is not interested. don't be nice to them every time you see them, that just confuses men thinking you actually do like them, they will bounce back and forth until you stop. so stop doing that if you keep doing that. silence is a response, but silence without context is just emotional abuse
Tip 6 is everything! I've always said; go for a week long canoe-camping trip with a partner in back-country... if you can survive that without fighting you can survive anything 😅
Amen to that!
What I find to be the BIGGEST turn off is when you're talking to a brand new guy on the phone, and they dont ask me ANY questions about myself! Ugh!!!
I always ask guys questions about themselves, because I'm naturally a "curious" person.... I may let it go for 1 or 2 phone conversations, but I definitely pick up on it, like- does the guy even CARE about learning more about me??? 😣 So frustrating!!!
I was 9 months into extensive text conversations and a few dates with a guy I was really interested in, before it materialised he didn't even know my surname. What a wake up call!
Those guys can't even do the bare minimum lol
Going through this right now. He will answer my questions but won't elaborate or ask me anything in return. Feels like an interrogation 😅
That’s because YALL most of the time always talking about yourselves 😂😂😂. Mouths never stop going. It’s either your story, your friends story or your family stories all damn day. Relax and listen to the man.
@@planneristnot all ladies…ive left space for questions and its just crickets and becomes awkward. If a man’s interested he will be engaging it will flow and be enjoyable. Everyone not for everybody…just have to weed through the bs. New age dating 🙄lol
1. Take off the rose-colored glasses
2. Look for signs that they are selfish or bragging - authentic people will take a genuine interest in you - they will be an active listener
3. Smothering or obsessive - calling or constant texting contact - want to see you everyday - if they are prematurely trying to integrate themselves into your family or friend group - if they are trying to latch onto you too soon - it’s shows signs of control and toxic dependency - you need time and space to step back and genuinely reflect on how your interactions have been going so far - allow a healthy amount of mystery - and time to breathe and develop over time
4. If they mention their ex on your date - or at any point early on - especially unprovoked - you didn’t ask - even if they are bitter about their ex - if they describe themselves as a victim - this means that they are still not healed and still hung up on the past - avoid seeing someone who had a recent breakup - sooner than 6 or 7 months - if they are still friends with their ex, that bond will inevitably cause issues down the line - there is still some emotional tie that they are not willing to let go of -
5. Make note of who their friends are - what you permit - you promote - values and behaviors that you agree with - the people they choose to be around will have a direct impact on their behavior - where they go on the weekend - who they interact with - how they treat other people - and how they treat themselves - this person will put their best face on in the beginning and noting their friends will help give you insight into who they most likely really are
6. Observe them in a high stress situation - you never truly know a person until you’ve seen them angry or stressed - this may take a while because they are showing their best side to you - do they have road rage - are they jealous - do they act childish or immature when you are having a disagreement -
I agree! Birds of a feather 🪶 flock together!! Be careful ladies! I’m taking notes 🗣️🗣️💯‼️
Thank you for this video. There was a girl I was talking to after a social event on WhatsApp and I felt things were to rushed. Such as over sharing, the constant love flirty messages, it felt pretty exhausting ngl to the point that I couldn’t even end the convo. I was gonna ask her for a date but I just felt that gut instinct that something didn’t seemed right. She kept indirectly persisting me to go on a date with her or video call her even though we only spoke for a few days at that point. When I refused and decided to go on separate ways she still continued and even asked me to meet up with her and her guy friends. That was the last straw for me. I felt that I did the right thing but keeping my distance and moving on. Ngl I always felt that getting to know someone on a deeper level should take time and should never ever feel rushed. If it does then I think you need to be careful.
Bro I was just about to comment the same but I knew something was off
I'm so glad you listened to your instincts! I've been in similar situations in the past. If you're already feeling overwhelmed or uncomfortable from the jump, it's a strong indication that it's not the right fit.
I was talking to a guy, but I’m sorta embarrassed, I told him a lot about I felt because while we were trying to figure out if we would be a good match, he asked me what I found attractive about him. I was sorta hesitant to tell him because I wasn’t sure if we would even work out, (we didn’t obviously) but he would say things like “Who says we won’t work out?”, etc. He tried in the beginning, but expected me to reach out 90% of the time. I do feel like it’s partly on me, because I’m socially awkward, but I found it hard to talk to the guy irl because I got really nervous, so I wouldn’t say anything and most times we just didn’t talk. There were also certain times where he would mention his past relationships/talking stages. A part of me feels like I was just an ego-boost, but I still got attached because I’ve never been in an relationship. Sometimes I feel like I’ll never been in an relationship, or no guy will ever like me for me. How do I get over him?
Hey! I'm sorry you had to go through that - I like to see these experiences as learning opportunities above all else. 😊
I wouldn't put the blame on you for feeling socially awkward, I promise you that the right person will make you feel comfortable and like you can be yourself without having to put on a mask or feel unnatural. It sounds to me like his behaviour and comments were very egocentric and that he was looking for validation. He certainly may have been interested in you but based on what you've listed, he seems to lack some maturity.
In terms of moving on, just remember that everyone comes into your life for a reason or to teach you a lesson about what you really want. Every time you put yourself out there to go on a date, you're gaining more information about the qualities you like/dislike in someone so you can be better informed the next time! Also, don't stress about it not working out. Putting yourself out there takes a lot of courage and vulnerability so you should be proud of yourself! My favourite mantra I like to tell myself is: "whatever is truly meant for you, will never pass you by." ❤ I hope that helps a bit!
@@lanzmacdonald❤❤❤
Great tips for red flags Lanz. I think it’s also very relevant for friends as well as we have to protect our energy with all people we let in and surround ourselves with.
Absolutely! ❤
I wasted three months with someone who was clearly hung up on his ex. Even on the first date he was describing how gorgeous, beautiful in shape etc she was and yes he was still in regular contact, used to go to her house weekly using his 19 yr old son as an excuse 🤔🤨🙄.
I'm not by nature a jealous person. I didnt feel jelousy or threatened by the ex, just disrespected, because i don't think harping on in that way especially without being asked is appropriate.
In retrospect i should have bowed out after the first date.
But thought I'd give him more time/see how it went.
I've found men try to jump into other relationships/ dating way before they are ready. Some even when they are not properly separated (ie split, but still living together! Its a minefield!)
It isn't fair try and start something with another person when they literally have nothing to offer because they haven't done the inner work & simply aren't ready.
I'd say other red flags are unadressed depandamcy issues with alcohol etc, also people who are looking to live with someone from the outset, yes they are out there.
Watching this and wondering if i am the red flag.
Same hahahaha 😂
This gave me a good laugh 😂
🤣🤣🤣 you killed me 😅
Me too. I'm singing "Hey, it's me. I'm the problem is me ' 😂
The ting about the ex, so true and about the friends.
Thank you, I needed this message.
Btw.. I love your beautiful hair!
I'm so glad you liked it! Thank you so much!
The weird thing is he wants to hangout everyday and has already introduced me to his family and integrated me into his friend group but he doesn’t know if he wants to be official yet and he needs time
I have a video on things to make note of in the talking stage - you might find some of those points to be helpful for your situation! ❤
Great videos!! Congrats On the masters
Thank you so much! ❤
Very smart notions
I'm glad you liked it!
I am in a "talking stage" with 3 women right now. Each woman is in a "talking stage" with multiple men. Promiscuity is fantastic for mental health! ! ! I have never been happier!
If you're not all sleeping together it's not promiscuity. If you are, that's sad.
Make sure they find you attractive first, if not then anything you do will have minuscule affect
Tip about the ex. Totally agree
I loveeeee your videos!! I the way you give advice and then give detailed scenarios and examples I love it. This channel is amazing thank you. 🙏🏽 💖 Also curious did you go to school for psycholog?
You're so sweet I'm so happy you like the videos! ❤For school, I did a Bachelors Degree in Communications and recently completed my Masters of Communications!
thanks for this! really needed to hear this but hear me out. I've been talking to this guy for a couple of weeks now, and I notice he would compare a lot of our situations to his ex. He would always tell me that she was very toxic and very controlling. I get it we gotta trauma dump sometimes, but i feel like he kinda uses me for emotional support. He also has seemed very busy recently, and has become more distant, as before we would talk everyday otp and would even sleep otp togogether , did I mess it up by getting to close in the beginning?
As soon as I heard point 4 I realized this advice is mostly for straight people. In the wlw community so many people are friends with their ex. I actually see it as a positive if you can still hang out and do not hate each other.
🎉🎉🎉 EH YO WELCCOME BACK! DAY MADE! 🎉🎉🎉
Thank you so much! So happy to be making videos again 😊
damn shouldve watchd this sooner. We were fting almost everyday for 3 weeks, she even cut off everybody after 1 week to focus on building the connection we had. But in the process I shouldv'e picked up how much she mentioned her ex. Cause after 3.5 weeks of constantly fting even a irl date, she couldn't be with me because of her previous relationship and how her past traumas are making her unable to get into a relationship now. HUGE POINT when it comes to watching out for when the mention their ex a lot. Ig I was used and she realized she couldn't get over him, note, they were together for 9 months and just broke up 4 months ago. She even sent me vids of them together, there's no way she was over him.(Even tho she kept saying she was)
Great video
Thank you! More to come soon!
These a great tips, especially #5.
Thank you! I'm glad you liked it!
There’s this guy I’ve been talking to for nearly 2 months. Every now and then he randomly goes half a day without responding back to my last message and then follows up with a apology. Also, I’ve seen him once every 2 weeks and he lives in long island and I’m in NYC. Red flag?
Imo sounds like youre a placeholder. Once every 2 weeks for 2 months is giving idc. or even worse theyre cheating w you.
@@jelenamilacic2182it’s not cheating if you’re not in a committed relationship and she said they were only talking
@@Diarrheagod cheating with you on someone else aka you’re the side chick
@@jelenamilacic2182 did u read my comment?
It’s a guy he can’t be a chick
🎉 see them in sickness and health, stress and wealth. Go to the holidays with them. Friends and family times. See them in their surroundings to see if what they say is what they actually live. See them in times of stress advice is one of the most important things. Actions speak what words don't ...or won't. It's far worse to be down the road and have to break someone's heart because you know you are not the one. Or to have them disappear because they don't know how to troubleshoot or they don't care about troubleshooting because they found a better deal somewhere else. Save yourself time and find a best friend first without the intimacy making everything more positive than it actually is.
Excellent input!
Your advice was good except for the ex part, because of co-parenting.
5:00 is scary
right now ive been talking to this girl for almost a month and she is hot/cold and doesn't seem much interested in me at times lmao but she's also an only child and had mentioned that she has only child syndrome ;/ should I run?
Yes. Run. No interest in you means she has great interest in herself and in something else.
Hey I’m a boy teenager and I want to ask is talking stage and dating same thing? It’s a phase where you get to know each other right?
Just talking, no expectations. Dating is when you’re going out and you both know you’re courting
@@giancarlomatute8125 but that didn’t mean we already couple right? Because there’s this girl I been talking to and she said she had crush on me and I kind a like her too and we literally talk everyday since I’m in same school with her some time we hangout together after school.Well what should I do now should I ask her to be my gf now it’s already been like 5 week we close to each other and this is my first time so I don’t really know what to do
@@raeze8401 ask her on a date! and keep going on them for maybe a month or so and when the time feels right ask her to be your girlfriend 😁
Thank you
I'm glad you liked it!
No the early stage red flags are camouflage as red hearts smh......
I want to date you! We would be very compatible,has nothing to do with aesthetics, it’s very much impossible to meet someone that feels the same way on human behavior and acts accordingly.
Kidding…well a little 😉
Well-structured and thought-out tips that both genders can adhere to. The video would have been more informative if I didn't keep getting distracted by those eyes 😊
So basically, never date single parents. Can't say I disagree lmao
Red flags.... nose rings
Pretty much
Women talking about red flags is hilarious because they think having an android is a red flag
😂😂I mean... is that a lie?
It is.
How is that a red flag
LOL I've just had this with some girl Why is it a red flag????
@@EstNineteen90she is the red flag.