RED FLAGS IN THE TALKING STAGE: 6 Tips to Help Decide if You're a Good Match | Lanz MacDonald
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 25 ก.ย. 2024
- It's important that you don't try to force fit a connection in the initial talking stage and avoid any red flags in the process. So, here are some ways to remain objective and observant on your first few dates to determine if you're a good match with your special someone. :)
☆ c o n t a c t ☆
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Hey everyone! Today’s video is all about making note of any red flags that you should be aware of in the initial talking or dating stage to avoid potentially wasting your time (or, if you're a good match). As we've talked about many times on this channel, you should never allow anyone to overstep your boundaries or value system simply for the sake of being in a relationship. I know many of you may being feeling some dating 'burn out' and really want to find a good match, but it's important that we don't attempt to force fit a connection. Also, remember to do some reflecting beforehand about what your key values and needs are, what type of dynamic you're looking for at this point in your life, and what your non-negotiables are as well. As I mention in the video, avoid looking at anyone through rose-coloured glasses, because the red flags will just look like flags. I hope this video helps in some way!
#relationships #redflags #talkingstage #dating #lanzmacdonald #2023
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Remember, "the issue with looking at someone through rose-coloured glasses is that the red flags just look like flags!" Be sure to take your time in the early stages of getting to know someone so you can be sure that they're a good match for you and you're not blocking your opportunity to be with a better fit!
Wishing everyone the best ❤
oh wow, you don't really know guys point of view. many men who aren't as female experienced constantly call/text because they are not getting a response or not the right response to let them know that the one they are interested in is not interested. don't be nice to them every time you see them, that just confuses men thinking you actually do like them, they will bounce back and forth until you stop. so stop doing that if you keep doing that. silence is a response, but silence without context is just emotional abuse
What I find to be the BIGGEST turn off is when you're talking to a brand new guy on the phone, and they dont ask me ANY questions about myself! Ugh!!!
I always ask guys questions about themselves, because I'm naturally a "curious" person.... I may let it go for 1 or 2 phone conversations, but I definitely pick up on it, like- does the guy even CARE about learning more about me??? 😣 So frustrating!!!
I was 9 months into extensive text conversations and a few dates with a guy I was really interested in, before it materialised he didn't even know my surname. What a wake up call!
Those guys can't even do the bare minimum lol
Going through this right now. He will answer my questions but won't elaborate or ask me anything in return. Feels like an interrogation 😅
Tip 6 is everything! I've always said; go for a week long canoe-camping trip with a partner in back-country... if you can survive that without fighting you can survive anything 😅
Amen to that!
1. Take off the rose-colored glasses
2. Look for signs that they are selfish or bragging - authentic people will take a genuine interest in you - they will be an active listener
3. Smothering or obsessive - calling or constant texting contact - want to see you everyday - if they are prematurely trying to integrate themselves into your family or friend group - if they are trying to latch onto you too soon - it’s shows signs of control and toxic dependency - you need time and space to step back and genuinely reflect on how your interactions have been going so far - allow a healthy amount of mystery - and time to breathe and develop over time
4. If they mention their ex on your date - or at any point early on - especially unprovoked - you didn’t ask - even if they are bitter about their ex - if they describe themselves as a victim - this means that they are still not healed and still hung up on the past - avoid seeing someone who had a recent breakup - sooner than 6 or 7 months - if they are still friends with their ex, that bond will inevitably cause issues down the line - there is still some emotional tie that they are not willing to let go of -
5. Make note of who their friends are - what you permit - you promote - values and behaviors that you agree with - the people they choose to be around will have a direct impact on their behavior - where they go on the weekend - who they interact with - how they treat other people - and how they treat themselves - this person will put their best face on in the beginning and noting their friends will help give you insight into who they most likely really are
6. Observe them in a high stress situation - you never truly know a person until you’ve seen them angry or stressed - this may take a while because they are showing their best side to you - do they have road rage - are they jealous - do they act childish or immature when you are having a disagreement -
I am in a "talking stage" with 3 women right now. Each woman is in a "talking stage" with multiple men. Promiscuity is fantastic for mental health! ! ! I have never been happier!
Thank you for this video. There was a girl I was talking to after a social event on WhatsApp and I felt things were to rushed. Such as over sharing, the constant love flirty messages, it felt pretty exhausting ngl to the point that I couldn’t even end the convo. I was gonna ask her for a date but I just felt that gut instinct that something didn’t seemed right. She kept indirectly persisting me to go on a date with her or video call her even though we only spoke for a few days at that point. When I refused and decided to go on separate ways she still continued and even asked me to meet up with her and her guy friends. That was the last straw for me. I felt that I did the right thing but keeping my distance and moving on. Ngl I always felt that getting to know someone on a deeper level should take time and should never ever feel rushed. If it does then I think you need to be careful.
Bro I was just about to comment the same but I knew something was off
I'm so glad you listened to your instincts! I've been in similar situations in the past. If you're already feeling overwhelmed or uncomfortable from the jump, it's a strong indication that it's not the right fit.
I agree! Birds of a feather 🪶 flock together!! Be careful ladies! I’m taking notes 🗣️🗣️💯‼️
I was talking to a guy, but I’m sorta embarrassed, I told him a lot about I felt because while we were trying to figure out if we would be a good match, he asked me what I found attractive about him. I was sorta hesitant to tell him because I wasn’t sure if we would even work out, (we didn’t obviously) but he would say things like “Who says we won’t work out?”, etc. He tried in the beginning, but expected me to reach out 90% of the time. I do feel like it’s partly on me, because I’m socially awkward, but I found it hard to talk to the guy irl because I got really nervous, so I wouldn’t say anything and most times we just didn’t talk. There were also certain times where he would mention his past relationships/talking stages. A part of me feels like I was just an ego-boost, but I still got attached because I’ve never been in an relationship. Sometimes I feel like I’ll never been in an relationship, or no guy will ever like me for me. How do I get over him?
Hey! I'm sorry you had to go through that - I like to see these experiences as learning opportunities above all else. 😊
I wouldn't put the blame on you for feeling socially awkward, I promise you that the right person will make you feel comfortable and like you can be yourself without having to put on a mask or feel unnatural. It sounds to me like his behaviour and comments were very egocentric and that he was looking for validation. He certainly may have been interested in you but based on what you've listed, he seems to lack some maturity.
In terms of moving on, just remember that everyone comes into your life for a reason or to teach you a lesson about what you really want. Every time you put yourself out there to go on a date, you're gaining more information about the qualities you like/dislike in someone so you can be better informed the next time! Also, don't stress about it not working out. Putting yourself out there takes a lot of courage and vulnerability so you should be proud of yourself! My favourite mantra I like to tell myself is: "whatever is truly meant for you, will never pass you by." ❤ I hope that helps a bit!
@@lanzmacdonald❤❤❤
Great tips for red flags Lanz. I think it’s also very relevant for friends as well as we have to protect our energy with all people we let in and surround ourselves with.
Absolutely! ❤
Watching this and wondering if i am the red flag.
Same hahahaha 😂
This gave me a good laugh 😂
The weird thing is he wants to hangout everyday and has already introduced me to his family and integrated me into his friend group but he doesn’t know if he wants to be official yet and he needs time
I have a video on things to make note of in the talking stage - you might find some of those points to be helpful for your situation! ❤
Tip about the ex. Totally agree
Great videos!! Congrats On the masters
Thank you so much! ❤
thanks for this! really needed to hear this but hear me out. I've been talking to this guy for a couple of weeks now, and I notice he would compare a lot of our situations to his ex. He would always tell me that she was very toxic and very controlling. I get it we gotta trauma dump sometimes, but i feel like he kinda uses me for emotional support. He also has seemed very busy recently, and has become more distant, as before we would talk everyday otp and would even sleep otp togogether , did I mess it up by getting to close in the beginning?
Make sure they find you attractive first, if not then anything you do will have minuscule affect
Very smart notions
I'm glad you liked it!
Your advice was good except for the ex part, because of co-parenting.
I loveeeee your videos!! I the way you give advice and then give detailed scenarios and examples I love it. This channel is amazing thank you. 🙏🏽 💖 Also curious did you go to school for psycholog?
You're so sweet I'm so happy you like the videos! ❤For school, I did a Bachelors Degree in Communications and recently completed my Masters of Communications!
🎉🎉🎉 EH YO WELCCOME BACK! DAY MADE! 🎉🎉🎉
Thank you so much! So happy to be making videos again 😊
There’s this guy I’ve been talking to for nearly 2 months. Every now and then he randomly goes half a day without responding back to my last message and then follows up with a apology. Also, I’ve seen him once every 2 weeks and he lives in long island and I’m in NYC. Red flag?
Imo sounds like youre a placeholder. Once every 2 weeks for 2 months is giving idc. or even worse theyre cheating w you.
@@jelenamilacic2182it’s not cheating if you’re not in a committed relationship and she said they were only talking
@@Diarrheagod cheating with you on someone else aka you’re the side chick
@@jelenamilacic2182 did u read my comment?
It’s a guy he can’t be a chick
These a great tips, especially #5.
Thank you! I'm glad you liked it!
Thank you
I'm glad you liked it!
right now ive been talking to this girl for almost a month and she is hot/cold and doesn't seem much interested in me at times lmao but she's also an only child and had mentioned that she has only child syndrome ;/ should I run?
Yes. Run. No interest in you means she has great interest in herself and in something else.
5:00 is scary
Hey I’m a boy teenager and I want to ask is talking stage and dating same thing? It’s a phase where you get to know each other right?
Just talking, no expectations. Dating is when you’re going out and you both know you’re courting
@@giancarlomatute8125 but that didn’t mean we already couple right? Because there’s this girl I been talking to and she said she had crush on me and I kind a like her too and we literally talk everyday since I’m in same school with her some time we hangout together after school.Well what should I do now should I ask her to be my gf now it’s already been like 5 week we close to each other and this is my first time so I don’t really know what to do
@@raeze8401 ask her on a date! and keep going on them for maybe a month or so and when the time feels right ask her to be your girlfriend 😁
No the early stage red flags are camouflage as red hearts smh......
Well-structured and thought-out tips that both genders can adhere to. The video would have been more informative if I didn't keep getting distracted by those eyes 😊
I want to date you! We would be very compatible,has nothing to do with aesthetics, it’s very much impossible to meet someone that feels the same way on human behavior and acts accordingly.
Kidding…well a little 😉
Red flags.... nose rings
Pretty much
Women talking about red flags is hilarious because they think having an android is a red flag
😂😂I mean... is that a lie?
It is.
How is that a red flag
LOL I've just had this with some girl Why is it a red flag????
@@EstNineteen90she is the red flag.