14 Red Flags in Men You Should NEVER Ignore.
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 4 มิ.ย. 2024
- I’m back with some dating advice: here are the red flags in men you should never ignore! I hope these dating tips and pieces of relationship advice help you find the high-quality, masculine energy man you deserve! 🥰
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CHAPTERS:
0:00 Red Flags in Men You Should Never Ignore
0:53 Red Flag #1
1:42 Red Flag #2
3:06 Red Flag #3
3:47 Red Flag #4
5:11 Red Flag #5
6:21 Red Flag #6
6:57 Red Flag #7
8:05 Red Flag #8
8:42 Red Flag #9
9:33 Red Flag #10
9:55 Red Flag #11
10:54 Red Flag #12
11:39 Red Flag #13
12:45 Red Flag #14
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1. The “ I don’t know man “.
2. He says all of his exs are “ crazy “.
3. He can’t apologise or take fault for anything.
4. His anger is immature and disrespectful.
5. Friends with an ex.
6. Actions don’t align with words.
7. He wants you to pay on the first date.
8. Never asks you any questions about you.
9. Never makes real plans to see you.
10. Takes way to long to return calls or messages.
11. Can’t take care of his things.
12. Makes condescending or sarcastic jokes at your expense.
13. Never posts any photos of you.
14. If your gut feels off.
My gut sometime get off sometime feels very comfortable.. what should i do? He didn’t has most of the red flag he has alot of good point that confirmed his will
Thanks lovveeeeeeeeelyyyy
Hmm my husband never really asks questions about me. Thats the only one
Then you have a keeper
I thought the not paying on first date was common for most ppl becuase nobody wants to do it or everyone just expects the other to do it, but hey, never had a date ,so no experience on that,just heard it...
Also what if he does not use social media (speaking for point 13), like how can he post any photos if he does not use them
Well, I also do not use them v: (TH-cam for videos only)
Red flag if he just thinks on himself in intimacy or in general in relationship ,it’s always me ,me,me
En 😊
frr, i am awful at sexting and he would always say i blue ball him and didn't even think about how he would never tell me when he's in the mood he'd just say stuff and it'd totally catch me off guard and even when i did send stuff to him it was never good enough
Definition of a child 🍼.
Selfishness is also a red flag in women that men tend to ignore. Don’t accept low effort females.
Same for women.
"You attract what you think you deserve" You better speak that truth!!! I love this so much, and thank you a million for this video!
Better advice is you should focus on attracting at or around your level. People need to be realistic if they want successful long term relationships.
People like you will live in delusion that they deserve the best of the best, yet those who trully stand on the top of this world will never even take a look or have a though about you.
It goes both sides
You don't attract what you think you deserve,
you attract what you ACTUALLY deserve.
Thinking and actuallying deserving aren't the same thing
Whatta stupid and entitled sentece that only a woman can love. Dream on.
I think an important thing to keep in mind is that nobody is perfect and if you dismiss any person that has a red flag you will spend your life dismissing people.. if i'm being honest with myself, when i met my bf i had many of those red flags myself but he gave me so much love, even when i was hard to love, that it helped me change and mature.
I guess what i want to say is to remember to also look in the mirror, accept that you too are not perfect and that is fine and be ready to accept someone who will not be perfect either as long as they are truthful, loving, honest and they align with your lifestyle.
I think you're partially right, but any sign someone may be actually abusive or generally untrustworthy I still would leave right away if I was dating. My greatest fear would be ending up in an abusive relationship and not discover it in time to easily get away, and those people usually will try to hide it. I think preserving yourself generally goes before MAYBE fixing the person (but that's actually more THEIR responsibility than anyone else's). Everybody has flaws, but flaws can be a lot and not all are equally significant. Some flaws may be more like a minor annoyance while others could ruin your life (or as least as long as you stay with them) and make being happy in a life with them nearly impossible
@@zakosist i think you misunderstood, some of the red flags she is talking about are not reasons to dismiss someone is all i'm saying. For instance in my relationship i am the messy one, i leave clothes in the couch, i leave hair around the house, i don t do dishes etc.. does that mean i deserve to be alone forever? Thankfully my bf doesnt think so. He enjoys cleaning and he does it more than me.
My bf is often the "i dont know" type but because he is afraid he might disappoint me, he always reminds me he just wants me to be happy so he prefers that i chose what i like. As long as i make sure to remind him that he's got this and i trust his decisions, we are both fine. So really some redflags mentioned here are not dealbreakers.
Of course nobody should ever stay with someone abusive, i never said anything like that and it wasnt in the discussion.
@@TK-cz8gv I actually agree with that. I came to this list mostly looking for early signs that someone is abusive just in case I need it one day (which was clearly not what this video was intended for). I dont agree fully with this list, many sound more like her personal preference. And some things can be a turn-off without being an absolute deal breaker, of course as long as you like them overall. It is important to remember nobody is perfect
@@zakosist , 🤦♀️
I relate with you with being the " I dont know " or some others in this list...@@TK-cz8gv
🚩 if he jokes about rape or has mysogynistic comments in general that he likes to pass off as "jokes".
🚩 If he knows he's hurting you or making you mad but still acts like that even after you confront him about it.
🚩 If he treats his mother/sister/closest woman or women in his life like shit.
🚩 If he criticizes ideas or personality traits about others that you clearly have, his dislike for them won't go away if you're together and he will show it very clearly the second he gets mad at you.
🚩 If he is still friends with his male friends who very openly treat women like shit, who sexually abuse or beat women or who have treated you in particular like shit.
@La Jota but they can even treat their mother/sister/aunt good etc. And not you. I heard that sooo many times, plus most ppl just do things even for a shite relative to feel like a good person, get "points", etc.
YESSS good ones 🤍
i agree with everything but the joke part, jokes are jokes people, its not that deep.
Adults need to have sense of humor in life. Kids get offended by clever use of sarcastic and cynical sense of humor nowadays 🙄
I have male friends like if a girl treats them bad then they will treat those girls as shit
Is that a red flag?
this is so spot on. I do think another important red flag is wanting to keep hooking up and not want to commit. It might seem obvious but I made up so many excuses for this in the past. If I had just kept sex out of dating it would have saved me so much time and heartache, they were all losers. Love your channel!
Oh totally agree!!!
I would love her input on this but I would guess she didn't have this in the list because if you're in your feminine energy, you don't just hook up. Another feminine energy coach says to date(no sex) a few guys until one claims you so you are not just in a casual sex relationship ever if you're in your feminine energy.
@@chriskiesling9387 ‘claims you’?🤢
@@merrymermaid hah, yeah. That is the term used. I didn't choose it.
Absolutely!
I feel like you should first become friends before dating. It feels more natural and you don't have to deal with the mind games and decyphering if he enjoys your company.
Nope. It will not work. Marriage works ONLY when the husband has a higher hierarchical position over the wife. Friendship is about equality. Friendship does not translate into marriage. It will never work. It never worked in 5000 years of recorded history. Feelings do not lead to long term stability. Pragmatism does. I mean well for you - ignore your feelings and study what actually *worked consistently* throughout history.
The reverse of the photo thing can be a red flag too. If he’s posting tons of pictures of you all the time or acting crazy in love REALLY early then he could be seeing you as a trophy rather than as a whole person.
Great list! Thank you, Jillz!
💜💜💜
I had this. Then he eventually got bored of me and put me back on the shelf. Only dusted me off when he wanted intimacy.
@@bbj4613 it's okay, you're an adult, you can say sex
Attract what you really want in your life. Choose if you can still have the chances because you are young. When you are older It is better to be alone than miserable. There are more things to invest on your time than living with a jerk.
"Trust his actions Not his words!" Yes!
I think red flag #13 is not really a red flag because there’s people like me who wants to wait until their engaged with their partner to post about the relationship. I come from a Hispanic household who loves to gossip 😒 so I keep my relationship private because it’s none of their business what I do and go with my partner. Even when I get engaged or married, I will barely post of my partner because I believe relationships are a private and personal thing that doesn’t NEED to be displayed for everyone.
yes true
Well then at least he can let others know that he’s taken. And that he’s committed rather than pretending he’s single on social media.
Some people aren’t really that big on posting in general either. Some might use it for memes
When a men does not post you in his social website, he either have a second thought of you or not proud of your relationship. This is the same as female. Keeping your relationship in Private is Dangerous because he can be married somewhere, have a prior child with a live-in partner and that you do not want a marriage day of chaos and full of Heart Felt Drama. Play safe sis.
I agree with you. Relationships should never be displayed on social medias. None of your private life should be displayed on the social medias. Don't ever post anything about your family on the social medias.
Everyone needs to hear this....period.
Agreed! Haha
I did, and I had a good laugh, especially at #7 🤣
Not everyone. I don't hear where her certification or degree came from.
As a guy I agree to all of these points, this was helpful for learning proper etiquette in dating. Like sometimes if a guy hears a girl say she wants to pay half for dinner, he's like "that's very nice of her". But in her mind she's thinking "this loser has no chance". Now I know their reason for offering and I will pay for every meal anyway 😅
Hmm.. I'm a woman and I prefer to pay for half the meal.
That's not true, some genuinely want to pay
I know some want to genuinely pay, I was joking by over exaggerating a point 😅 It's a common courtesy for a guy to pay on a date, I realize a woman's intention to pay is a way to express appreciation for the guy. I'm cool with that, it's just a social cue that some guys get confused about.
@@daniwanicki I would only pay once in a while if I'm in a relationship with that man otherwise that would be the first and last, I don't care how hot and smart you are. He needs to show that he is indeed a protector and provider type. It depends on what type of women you are into tho. If you prefer libtards and feminists then yeah, they will pay because they want an edge over you
For me after getting out of a long term relationship where my ex boyfriend was always determined for me to pay for half of all the food, and for me to pay for all my own things (even stuff he picked out for me) I can say that it sends a strong message - that I am worthless/a financial burden. I have a medical issue that makes working a challenge, plus I am a full time student. I am extremely conservative with money and I can say that I feel almost scammed because I was making purchases for my ex (he would get more food/more pricy food and I’d buy small gifts for him). I feel like low self esteem led me to drop too much money on a relationship that ended up unfulfilling. And yet the money I spent wasn’t all that much and wouldn’t have been an issue if I could work. I’d loose self respect to live financially off my partner, but to me money means a lot so yes I want a guy to treat me on the first date. And I refuse to be with someone who will count every penny because it just makes me feel shitty cause I can’t exactly make much until my schooling is over.
Just walked out on a man who's first response to a problem I brought up was that I'm "stupid, acting like a teen and I should get my brain checked ".
I kept my cool and tried to express why I felt what I felt , didn't accuse , just brought it to his attention. And if this is the way he's gonna communicate then bye baby.
😂
My bf and I had a very toxic relationship in the beginning. And one of the major red flags or probably the only one was he would explode during arguments and he needed to talk so much about himself because he needed comfort that in the beginning it was all about himself. I talked to him openly and calmly how that made me feel. We ended up breaking up a lot. But in the end.. he actually listened. He made an effort to become a better person every single time. He still has problems expressing his anger because he wasn't taught how to express it, and when that hurts me he will apologise almost immediately.
If they do want to make an effort to change, and you really see that effort and like that person, help them. Not every person is perfect. All it needs is effort from both parts. Now our relationship is very stable. We do argue but is something very calm and logic.
Good that you got your things together. I am actually a man watching this and checking out if I don't have these red flags
you deserve better, sis
even if this is true sometimes relationships just take effort and work. although im not gonna say that was healthy to stay when a relationship gets that toxic but everyone knows their own circumstances.. If the person ends up changing then that's what matters.@@multiskype
Being open and giving ultimatum is most of the time a gamble of loosing or gaining but it is a test whether your relationship is going to end toxic or with compromise. But just accepting the heat in a relationship is a life of torment and misery. Hope things would work out for both of you. Good Luck.
maybe you should read the comment more lol cuz she said he got better he just wasent brought up right thats not his fault like you type of people piss me off
@@multiskype
“You don’t want to be an afterthought“ CHILLS
*Recognizing red flags is key to ensuring we are in healthy, respectful relationships. Let's be aware and act on these signs to protect ourselves.*
This is so accurate. I dated this guy on and off for a little over 2 years (due to long distance). I thought he was perfect while ignoring the last 2 red flags. 1 - he is VERY active on social media, has 1k+ followers on IG, has posted 500+ pics, and not ONCE did he ever put up a single story or post with as little as my finger or a strand of my hair in it & 2 - even though i couldn't verbalize it, i just knew in my gut that something was off. That maybe he doesn't love me the way he says he does... And sure enough, he ends things with me (on the last day of our vacation which i traveled across states for) and 20 days later i start seeing the same girl in all his stories. Hes even tagging her in stories which she's not in. I want to say I was blindsided, but was I really? So to everyone out there, red flags - if you see them, don't ignore them!
💔
Maybe u should take a look at urself and see what your lacking
as a guy, can confirm. i also like to watch these so i can see how to improve myself in a committed girl's eyes. im working on being more straight forward with girls cuz i realized im a "bad boy" and i dont want to hurt these girls anymore. its way more painful since i dont have anyone i can love and get love from anymore but hopefully putting in this hardwork now will pay off in the future. if i keep working hard to be a better person i will finally feel less pain about living right? im doing very well on my own journey and now i meet so many good girls but none of them are right for me long term yet
Same, just another dude here gathering info to improve myself
I always feel a good judge is how the guy treats his mom/motherly figure. I had a relationship where I ignored that he would become nasty to his mom when annoyed. It turns out that eventually they will begin to treat you the same, and it did, he turned on me in the end. Thank you for this vid
It's not only true for men. I have a collegue that treats nice people badly yet licks every bad person's ass. eventually I found out that she has a kind mother and she clearly does not think much of her mom.
My ex was so rude to his mom and family, I could tell they were kind, well-meaning individuals- it made me so uncomfortable and I kick myself now for never speaking up.
"Never asking question about you" can certainly go both ways. When I met my gf the biggest thing that stood out to me was that she asked questions about me. I was going on 2-3 dates a week she was the only woman that asked me a question about myself. I won't reach out again if I go on a date and the girl doesn't ask me a single question
My insecure ass is guilty of the point 13. I never posted any photos with my exes because I thought it would be too embarassing/distresing to deal with it if we broke up. It took me years to realize I had disorganized attachment style and needed therapy.
Omg this was me!!!
The one about posting photos is so true. I ignored this one for two years (even when he posted pictures of himself with other girls without further explanation). Turns out that he wasn't sure about our relationship pretty much the whole time and was hoping that I would get the hint through his overall dumb behavior.
So thanks for bringing that up, Jillz!
You’re welcome! Glad you agree! My thinking is that he should be wanting to show you off 💃
I don't agree with this one. My wife is a very private person and doesn't like being 'out there' on the internet. As a result I don't post pictures of her online out of respect for her. Also I don't agree with the doesn't pay on a first date either. There are a ton of ladies out their who now just treat first dates as a free meal. I think in this day and age going dutch is the right thing to do, even though when I was dating back in the 1990s I did always pay.
@@gavkenny Agreed. I'm extremely private too and refuse to have any of my photos online. I don't need my bf to "show me off" to prove that he loves me. I also always pay for my share of the food or we do a "i pay this time, you pay next time" kinda deal
I’ve been married for nearly 20 years and have only posted my wife and I together maybe a few times. But I don’t post much anyway. I don’t dwell on it or keep score. There’s nothing to it really. I don’t need to have us together in my profile pics either. I simply don’t worry about it. My social media account is my social media account so there’s a picture of me. Same for her.
@7:25 that poster that says, "This is exactly what is wrong with the world, ppl use ppl and love things!" This is sooo true!
There's such a sincerity in your eyes Jillz
As a man, I want to say that I really like this video. The red flags listed here are very well picked. If you use them as guidance, you get rid of the loosers without sorting out the high value men.
Thank you. This is useful and helpful. Another red flag- How is his relationship with his family and specifically his mother ? Having a safe and healthy relationship with healthy boundaries is key. It's good to have love for mother and family , but also healthy distance and boundaries. Having disrespect for his mother as well as toxic enmeshment are both red flags. If he hates his mom- then why? If she was abusive or absent, then that's one thing- so what is he doing to heal his mommy wounds???
Be careful that he's not looking for you to be his mommy.
On the other hand, is he too enmeshed and "married to mom" ? Does he see his mom as ' holier than thou?' If he puts his mom on a pedestal and worships her above all else- you will most likely never change him and never be as good as mommy and have a lifelong struggle with this "married to mommy wound"
Most likely he will not change and mommy will always be above you. If you are ok with being second to mom- than go with it. If you want to be the only woman, then you're better off to leave than ever trying to compete with mommy or change him. (This can also apply to sisters and sometimes children in enmeshed families. Children are different though and they absolutely come first. Accept his children as your own and accept they will be first.)
Books--
A good book for relationships that you're not sure if it's time to move or or to stay-
Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay by Mira Kirshenbaum
For you to have some support and validation and for him , If he's willing to work on his 'mommy issues'---
When He's Married to Mom: How to Help Mother-Enmeshed Men Open Their Hearts to True Love and Commitment
-by Kenneth M. Adams
Totally agree! Thanks for sharing this 💜
Sooo true! It is so important! I dated a guy for about a month and I asked him once about his mum.
When he talked about her I sweare I saw pure hate coming from him.
He just said she was kimd of a terrible mum, didn't get into details but there was some kind of hatefull energy there, I could sense it. He also talked about his sister like that, with very hatefull energy. Like if all woman in his family were evil.
After a while I got to see he had some big problem with woman in general as he started to become very violent with me, screaming for no reason and things like that.
Thank God I didn't sleep with him or went further, because after a while I got to know he abused another woman who I know, and bited her up so badly 😳
He seemed a very very sweet man at the beginning thou.
But I think he had big problems with his mum and saw his mum in every woman he would try to date.
I would add to the red flags, if a guy insist a lot about having sex, even if you said very clearly that it is too early for you or that you do not feel comfortable yet because you don't have a lot of experience or because of any reason.
If he can't respect physical boundaries or makes fun of it, I think its a red flag too.
Great video. ❤
Love this, thank you 🤍
This is much needed information for single and taken ladies out there. Your content is priceless! Unrelated but I love your top or dress, so pretty on you :)
Thank you so much! 🥰🥰🥰
Very well articulated, Jilz!
Love your top OMG!❤
Good video. Thank you. 🙏🏻
I spent 20 years with a "I don't know" man... So that is at huge red flag to me..!
This is a fantastic video! I also want to input that a lot of these flags are also things to look for in yourself. You attract what you are and do. How do you respond when angry? Do you make jokes at other people's expense etc. Really fantastic points here.
I wish I had heard this before !
Wonderful video, Jills ! 🥰
Thank you!! 😘
wow! right on point. keep going! I wish the best for everybody here.
These are all great and on point!!
I want to add something to the point on saying all his exes are crazy: even if he was with toxic girls, you can see by how someone talks about difficult relationships whether they used that to grow and learn or just blame and play victim.... even if we were with a narcissist once we enabled that behavior... if we recognize our own weak spots that made a certain dynamic possible we likely talk about it very differently even if something wasn't our fault per se.
Exatly!!
This helped me to once again clarify in my head that my ex was full of red flags that I couldn't accept and kept that perfect false version of him in my head even after the breakup. Thank you.
Welcome, sis. It is fun searching because you have time for yourself to grow. Good Luck and be happy.
Feel sorry for u
i discovered you yesterday and i cant stop watching your videos! keep up the good work Jillz
Every point is spot on. Great video. Especially #14 omg this is real
Oh man. Incredible list. 100% agree!!! 🔥
Glad you agree!! ❤️
love such videos because I'm checking myself as well, and I feel so good when I don't find it in myself 💖 thank you 💗
I really like your channel!!❤
Love this!! Your videos are all so watchable and helpful ♥️🌸
Ah yay so glad you think so!! 💕
Excellent video Jillz!❤
Thank you!!! ❤️
Needed this! Thank you!
i wish someone would have told me about red flags before i started dating my first bf but my mum has never taught me anything about men or sex in general so i had to learn the hard way
Hard way: many times had sex in toilet room with chads.
In my last relationship (living together for 2 years) he NEVER took photos of me. I always took pictures of him and our pets. And I always found it kinda disappointing that he didn’t think to take pictures of me even just for himself (he doesn’t post on social media)
And he was the IDK man and I had to lead and was tired of it and unattracted by it and lost respect for him. I tried to lean back but then he liked that because he didn’t want to do anything anyways. And the sarcastic jokes, I once told him “can’t you just be nice for once and not teasing me”. He really didnt know how to show that he cared for me even though he really did (yes he really did). When we broke it off he said his biggest regret was not treating me like the special girl I was to him.
@@gorgeous1fangirl Yeah they always realize a little too late. But he's for sure no good in a relationship so no regrets!
One thing which I find incredible, is that I know this guy who has NONE of those red flags (except not posting photos because he stays away from social media)
but is not able to find a woman to be with.
The reason why men don’t do those things is because we find taking photos of ourselves to be a feminine trait that’s why we hardly ever do it except for very special occasions.
dont get it when people dont do it when i start seeing someone i want pictures with them lol
I need no woman that is going to generalize my personality based on if I pay fully for first date, or any of the other "flags". If we get together, there will be plenty of paying going on my part both in money, energy and mentaly
She is not making this video for men. She is making this video for women who want a masculine man. By sharing the red flags in a man who is not masculine, they'll know what type of person to avoid.
There is so much truth to this and I loved this video!!! I don't know why you don't have more subscribers
Ahh thank you!!! 🥰
Very good!!
Met this video just on time✨
In my last relationship I was in my masculine energy all the time. I was working all the time, constantly being the bread winner and sorting out our savings as a couple and being in charge of our financial planning. It was exhausting, I was so into "hussle culture" too, working full time and having a side hussle while my partner was the one who focused on the home. I wanted to be in my feminine energy but he didn't want to be the provider, so I was forced to be in my masculine and be the leader all the time. For this and all your videos, I say thank you, Jillz, I'm so grateful. The more I watch the more I relate to what you say.
Same here. Met such an amazing guy but at 35 he still didn't mind being a bartender and had no interest in ever gaining a career. The thought of being the person that would support us was a deal breaker I couldn't see beyond.
Sure beeing Happy with the job you have is a dealbreaker XD I am sure is can take care of himself fine without you and your idea of "career"
@@svenbernhagen6320The reality is women don't actually love men. They use them.
Reminder: For feminine women.
01. I don't know man (wants someone to lead him).
02. All my exes were crazy guy.
03. He doesn't take fault/blame.
04. His anger = immature/disrespectful
*05. He's friends with exes (maybe, kind of personal opinion).
06. His actions don't align with his words.
07. He doesn't pay on first date.
08. He never asks questions about you.
09. He never makes plan until last minute.
10. Takes way too long to call/text back.
11. He can't take care of his things (home and car messy).
12. He makes condescending jokes at your expense.
*13. He never posts photos of you on social media. (Again, opinion. Active on social media? You don't want pics on social media?)
14. Something in your gut feels off about him.
Thank you as always Jillz 😊
Hi Jillz! A hug from Brazil, I love your videos, I watch them all. I had to comment in this one: you look amazing in that blouse 💖💖
1:55 whenever a guy tells me that all of his exs were crazy I always say "maybe you were the one that made them crazy".
Most of the time, it causes them to stop and think about it.
Thank you for pointing out number one. That is exactly what is destroying me from the inside out. I cannot be my feminine self because my husband forces me to take all of the manly roles on. I don’t want to be in my masculine. However, if I don’t handle these things. Nothing at all will get done. He has always relied on his parents or a woman to do everything for him. Obviously, I don’t foresee me lasting much longer.
I saw some nice advice on adrienne everheart's channel on how to out-girl him, you have to be ready to let go of expectations for a bit and actually be ready to have a mess around you for a while until he wakes up and takes the lead
It's an attraction-killer for sure because you sub-consciously perceive his lack of effort as lack of love. Once you're convinced he doesn't love you, you won't be able to stay. From someone who has been through this.
@@dr.jenniferma3914I see all this time of my women forcing me to take lead and not putting any effort into the relationship was because she doesn't love me.
One red flag for any and all genders in a relationship, and I can't believe no one brings it up more:
Since rose coloured glasses can cloud judgement, if you don't like most of his/her friends then you don't actually like him/her. Psychology says that we are the average of the top 5 people we hang around most, so if you don't like the people your partner is hanging around then you don't like your partner. Save yourself the heartache.
Great video Jillz !! you look gorgeous 💕
Thank you so much!! 🥰🥰
Love your Video thank you so much!!! ❤ Lots of Love from Switzerland Jenny
Jillz I love your top!!
Thank you!!! One of my recent fav purchases 🔥
Omg finally!I was looking for real advices and new ideas
I love the way you talk your voice makes me feel safe and want to talk in a calm way
Love your channel ❤️
Ahh thank you! ❤️❤️
I feel so validated right now. Thank you.
I hate having my pic taken and I’ve never been one to do the couples pictures either. What did we do before the internet and smart phones? I’ve always been kind of disgusted of the ego with constant selfies. You love yourself enough for the both of us, so I really don’t think you need me! If I’m worried that you’re really not single, I’m not wasting my time.
I totally agree with you. the bombardment of selfies on people's social media is embarrassing I think. I know how you look, I don't need to be constantly reminded of it. but then again the ppl that get the most attention and likes are those that post lots of selfies. It's a sad state of affairs! lol
Gay guy here. Just wanna say something about #14 and trusting your gut. I generally agree with that sentiment. But I was dating a guy for four months and started feeling like dipping. My gut told me he wasn't right for me. So I actually told him I wasn't sure I wanted to stay with him. But I wasn't convinced yet that leaving was the right thing. We agreed to go our separate ways for a month and then reconnect and see what to do. And it was then that I decided I wanted to stay with him even though I wasn't sure I was in love with him. After about two months I realized I was absolutely head over heels for him. So even though my gut told me he wasn't right for me, I chose not to let my gut guide me. And it turned out to be the best thing for both of us. We lasted eight years. Some may say that's an indication we were never right for each other, but I disagree. If we had lasted eight months, I would totally agree. But we ended up sharing some beautiful years together. I was so glad I stayed, even though it wasn't going to last a lifetime. So, sometimes our gut is wrong. Sometimes we're not really looking at things. Or there is something we cannot see. But again, I think its great advice in general and you should always pay attention to red flags. I think your entire list is really spot on and very fair. I know dynamics are different in gay relationships, but just thought I'd add my two cents!
I suppose it doesn't help that being nervous and excited feel the same physiologically.
She's talking about Women's intuition.
you lost 8 years... look for help, dont they guys, women are crazy but are the best thing.
Very good list, I agree with every single one of them! Thank you very much, Jillz! I have two basic dating principles I always follow that have proved very useful when it comes to avoiding red flags and not making excuses for a guy's poor behavior.
Principle 1 is the pizza principle. If something is delivered in a square box, looks like pizza, smells like pizza and tastes like pizza, it is most likely a pizza. What it means is: If all signs point into one direction, accept that things are exactly what they look like. Stop making excuses, stop hallucinating that things are probably completely different. They aren't. If it's obvious to you in the pizza case, it should be obvious to you as well when a guy displays a ton of red flags.
Principle 2: 5+5 is always 10, not sometimes 11. What it means: We should stick to our rules ALWAYS and make no exceptions. When someone doesn't treat us with respect, we leave. When someone oversteps our boundaries, we leave. When someone shows any of these red flags, we leave. And we do that regardless of whether the guy is cute or hot or had such a traumatic childhood or "we've been through so much together". 5+5 is still 10.
Great video, soo spot on!! They're all big red flags but numbers 1, 5 and 7 especially, if I was to ever encounter/hear that on a date, I'm not seeing that person again😅
Thanks Jillz 💖💫 In my experience, some men make sarcastic jokes at first, because culturally they are expected to be less vulnerable. It's kind of an emotional defense.
Bisexual man here - I am friends with many of my exes, because i often aim for long term stuff that has to include friendly compatibility to keep going after physical attraction goes less. If the person is good and lovely, and wishes to stick around as a friend - it would be a massive waste to just go apart. It feels like something we tried, it didn't work, we both got it and moved on without any risk to get into that guaranteed failure again. BUT this RARE and i vaguely know just one person that has it like me.
I see where you are coming from, after that. Most men, especially straight men in our culture pick women just following looks and vibe she can give as a girlfriend, they barely try to see a friend or human behind it, maybe looks and lust basically blind them, no idea. If there is no dialogue, genuine human-human connection and you can not openly talk about being exes and analyze it without getting emotional - this friendship is just ghostly dating leftovers and not worth it.
A cool advice - when getting to know someone new, ask and talk about their friends. It is a nice and non-invasive topic to get to know someone, and cool people light up when they talk about their friends. Those are keepers! Just listen carefully what they say.
My 2 year bf is closer to, and spends more time with, his friend (male), than me, and often wants the 3 of us to do things together (watch football, shoot pool, ride bikes, watch music). He gives me hugs and quick kisses but doesn't linger. He calls me his gf, and holds my hand for short periods of time but not when people are around. all his close friends know we're together, but he has never posted me on his extensive social media (+325 people). We went on an 8 night cruise and he posted photos of him only with no mention of a 'we' so it could be taken that he was alone. I offered a nice photo of us in a group to post and he said he was done posting cruise photos (case closed). He was very difficult to cruise with, rushing me around, didn't want to do much of what I was interested in, then later said he wants to cruise with me again. However, he likes having me at his place, cooks for me all the time but rarely plans dates. We just go places when the mood strikes him, or cancel when he suddenly changes his mind. What's your take on all of this?
Loved this 🥰🥰🥰 i would love to see a green flags in a man video.. keep up the good work !!
Good idea I’ll try to do that! 💕
Thank you so much! I love your videos ❤
Ahh you’re welcome! That makes me so happy 🥰
I love how you always point out there are exceptions.
To add to this list - does not respect your boundaries; clinginess - has no life besides you and expects you to do the same; love bombs you after a short time (eg. after 1 date).
Thank you so much ,Im a new subscriber😊
On the first date with my wife, I bought the dinner, and she paid for the bowling we did afterward... her paying for the bowling showed me she wasn't just using my for some free meals or would use me as an open check if we got into a long term relationship...
Also inconsistency in actions, ghosting and returning, changing mind too often, resistance to opening up, avoiding sensitive intimate topics, lack of initiation or intermitent initiation, love bombing, so many more. To attract a loyal man who is provider, protector and ready for a relationship and who knows how to take responsability of himself and his aspects of life that include also balance in relationships, and who is consistent and stable in himself and open to love, we as women also need to embrace these qualities within ourselves to be able to recognise all the green signs and red signs in a man, and always know our worth and take care of ourselves and our energy 🙏
Okay I love this top!! ❤
Thank you!!! One of my recent favs 🔥
@@JillzGuerin where is the top from , its so pretty
Your eyes are so pretty!!!
Red Flag: Guy shares his feelings for you while imagining his feelings are all that matters and that you should bow down to his superior feelings - this evil is in many movies: The guy says he has feelings for the lovely lady and she's supposed to stop everything in her life to be his sex slave.
This honestly is a really helpful video everything u said is indeed "a flag" an important thing to look our for and realign our energy , thank you for the video really !
So true. I’ve seen almost all the red flags, so I can tell that this video is 100% true! If some of you think that even one of those facts isn’t important, please don’t ignore it. My painful experience showed me that all these red flags might seem not a big problem or you couldn’t see them clearly but they will be more hurtful for you later.
That is so true! My ex always talked about people and felt uncomfortable when people talked about him.
Can’t take care of his things! So true! Ughhhh my ex
#13 always bothered me. Never posted about me. Only posted his friends and family which was not regular. never even cared to write a post about me.
I genuinely came here looking for things that I did wrong in my recently separated relationship. While I see my issues, I’m curious if these red flags go both ways? Friends with exes, the condescending jokes, taking a whole day to message or call me back, saying one thing but not having actions behind it, can’t take fault or responsibility for anything she does, immature when upset, flakes on plans to hang out… all of this is reasons I called it quits.
Of course those go both ways
Such an important video
I’ll admit I’m a dude and came here for a chuckle and to see what people are ranting about but these points were admittedly bang on. Good vid 🤝🏼
thank you so much sis !!
❤️❤️
Thank you Jillz, your channel is such an inspiration to me.❤️ I teach the same things on my channel as well. So much love from Nairobi,Kenya.
😘😘😘😘
@@JillzGuerin 💖🥰
You look so beautiful with your hair up 😊 Love the top too!
Aw thank you!! 💕
Totally agree omg thanks
AMEN sister
This information is highly important. I only wish I would have known these red flags back when I was 18 lol
these are all amazing points but can we please get a video tutorial on your makeup?! 🤩
I'm definitely the I don't know guy on all your examples, but what I want in a relationship that I knew and found everything in my wife; kind, smart, funny, capable of taking responsibility for her actions and introspection, she wanted kids and appeared to have all the traits of a good mother, (these traits I got to see in action while we fostered and now with our first son), she wanted someone to go thru life with and have a family; its for all these reason and how much I love her that I knew she was the one for me :) ..... we're both indecisive when it come to going out to eat, my mother-in-law gives us alot of flack when she sees us taking half an hour to figure out supper lol....
Your job is amazing
Also, I love your top it's so cute, where did you get it?
Excellent!!
Thank you! ❤️
Thanks for the cheat codes! I will adapt
Perfect! ☺️👌🏻👌🏻
❤️❤️❤️
Such a great video!🙌🏻 I have one that I wish I heeded before I got married. *If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.*😔 He love bombed me, and as a feminine woman, I thought it was the best thing ever; my fairytale come true. I'm commenting to let people know that it's a technique used by covert narcissists who don't show their true selves until after marriage. Looking back, I should have scrutinized subtle red flags more. Don't rationalize any red flags, ladies!✊🏻💖
I man and come to this channel to study english, but all advices which i understand totally agree with them. Really smart and beautifull girl, respect you and wish more subscribers for your channel. Thank you for your wisdom.🙏❤
Im self conscious about calling my ex crazy because ive told a lot of people the unbiased story of the relationship and literally everyone agrees that she actually was crazy