How to know your relationship is over?
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 ก.ย. 2024
- How do I know my relationship is over? When is it time to let go? Those are questions we ask ourselves when we’re feeling drained and exhausted from a relationship. In this video I share 5 ways to know your relationship is over. If you need more in-depth help, please take the course “When To Let Go” on tonygaskinsacad...
If you’re in need of one-on-one coaching with myself or one of our coaches, please email support@tonygaskins.con
I knew my relationship was over when I Clicked on this Video.
Yessssssssss🙌🙌
Alethea Ferrell You feel me lol , the Respect factor with my girlfriend is gone, I know people argue ...but its a right way and wrong way to do it , she wants to clap her hands and point the finger and get loud for no reason, LETS TALK LIKE WE GOT SOME SENSE ..you can still get your point across in a sexy way lol.
Yes I definitely feel you! My dude accuses me of stupid shit then when I go off.. I'm the crazy one!! He said he doesn't want to argue in front of my kids then goes off on the phone while I'm with my kids or on my job!!! But again , I'm wrong when I go back off! Yes we can agree to disagree but who wants to argue damn near everyday??? Lol shit been got old
Alethea Ferrell its sad ....and whats really fucked up is when there are kids involved it makes the decision hard, but I believe if I leave her ...that will be the only way she will be able to understand where im coming from, I hate to see families breaking up, but at the same time its all about being HAPPY !! LIFE IS TO SHORT , im not about to Argue every couple of days it just takes the passion and the love out of your feelings for that person, you can love that person, but fall out of being in love because they want to be idiots all the time over stupid shit.
Yes
To me it is over when your PEACE is compromised.
Krisha Belgrove I started to feel at peace, feeling at home when he closed the door on the other side . Relief came months later .
Facts me too!!!
Yes to have a peace of mind is important... its knowing you are enough. And that u are the one and the only one is all he needs. I have that with my husband.
absolutely
My relationship is over because I’m truly no longer interested in being disrespected.
Same here!
halo
Yessss 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
That hits me hard today.
It’s over when your insides tell you. Listen to it. We all know, we’re just afraid of losing that person but at the end of the pain, we get stronger. Love your self. You’re worthy
Right because soon as u do one thing that person dropping u like a bad habit.
Stunnaphi : yes 💯
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Wish I could have listened a lot sooner. But on to a fresh start.
Same here but, but it’s hard when you guys are married with kids involved. But I know my husband is not worth my tears and my respect anymore. He’s cheated many times and even doing right now
It’s over when the pain numbs you...
Don't leave broke is the first rule
Stephen Hilton
Don’t go into it broke. First Rule. So when it’s time to leave you will already have your coins. 🙏🏼
@@vblacksugar7249 HELLO !!!
Lol thats what I’m on, thinking about opening a whole daycare in his home, but I’m so fearful to start something that big on shaky grounds. But I don’t have a good job no place to go, so I’m thinking about toughing it out saving some money to buy my own house. I can make a lot of money with that business
Venisha Butler so true
A person will only treat you how you ALLOW them to. Set standards, know your worth.
@@aminah761 💯 nothing like a peace of mind
Exactly.
@Red Sunshine fact! those are grown boys...they get the boot!
I know now😝
@@ladyredconstance good for you. Blessings Queen 💫❤
If There Is No " Respect ". .
The Relationship Is Over.
Trust and Respect is GONE.
@Eternity With Christ . . . Absolutely! . .Respect covers many things.
1. Cheating, Lieing, Stealing ect. . .
Respect is definitely gone
Preach y’all
You know it's over when you get tired of making excuses for unacceptable behavior, comprising your principals, and pretending things are going to get better. Unfortunately, that threshold extends farther for some than others. Another aspect is you may not even know you're dealing with a narcissist. Until recently, I had no clue. It's true, knowledge is power. Thank you for sharing, I'm sure this has helped a lot of people like me make some sense out of "why all the nonsense" in their relationship. May God continue to bless you!
ONE huge clue to know it's OVER is when you're always RETHINKING any situation..... when you know the TRUTH
Gurrrrrrrrrl!!! The truth!!
😥
Yessssssssssssss🙌🙌🙌
Don't leave broke is the first rule
Praise
When you’re the only one fighting that’s when you know it’s over!
okra
Yes, that is where I am in my marriage
It's over when your spirit can't rest and there is no consistency in peace within the relationship. The simplicity of these things say alot when your not receiving them.
Right on the nail!!! Wow
💯💯
So true
You hit the nail on the head
halo
My worth is really high...I'm guilty of settling for less. Never again.
Ditto
When phone calls /FaceTiming turn into texting, you spend less time together, he can spend days without speaking to you , they unfollow you on social media, than block you ...etc some don’t verbally break up with you , they do it in a punk ass way.
Girl you right thy go ghost that's when u discard his ass JG
I'm thinking that's where my relationship is at
Punk ass .. good one
Yesss
I think its over
If someone loves you they will do what it takes to make it work.
💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
And change behaviors too.
It takes truth, being yourself, and self love; and self love takes strength. That is first. Without this, it's the perfect storm and parallels depression.
If you clicked on this video to find out, it’s been over
Dang smh
Nancy Rivera 😂😂
Yep😁😂
Lol girl
Girl🤣😂
1st time, a mistake, 2nd time a choice, 3rd time a habit.
Thats REAL
Absolutely 💯
Already
That's right.
1st time he is GONE. He knew what he was doing. I don't give 2nd chances.
Arguing during the dating / courting stages is a red flag as well.
With loud sirens 🚨
Red flags waving all in your face
Yup!!
Yessssssssssssss! This is what I was trying to tell this dude!! We're supposed to be in the honeymoon stage-- googly eyes and butterflies not headaches and anxiety and arguments!!! Shit was toxic from start!!! Told him no relationship starts off shaky then gets better!!! At least none that I know of!!!
Yessss,a huge red flag and its on fire 🔥
I knew my relationship was over when I no longer wanted to sleep with my husband or want any physical touch.
I'm there sabine...
Smh
Omg im there now
So what did you do?
Same
It’s over when two people are no longer willing to WORK on the relationship
Some people just need help
Good one.
Sadly it's also over when 1 person doesn't want to make it work
yes
Come on now. That's why I'm by myself. I'm so tired of giving everything and getting nothing.
Telling me
Stop giving everything. Love with conditions.
Everyone just wasting each other’s time
Are you a man ? This is what I need in my life lol !
This is true for me. Wasting each other's time. Just living together as roommates.
Your relationship is over if:
1. You break up to make up. If you're on chance 3-4 the relationship is over.
2. How long has it been. If it's been more than a year and y'all still have power struggles, a lot of arguing and constantly bumping heads. The relationship is over.
3. How much effort is being put into the love? Are either of you really trying? Going on dates, spending quality time, communicating and getting to know each other, doing the things y'all did in the beginning.
4. If you're on and off, or have to keep taking breaks from the relationship every few weeks/ months from your partner. The relationship is over.
5. If there is ANY FORM OF ABUSE, the relationship is over.
These are not my words, but a summary of what Tony said.
Anointed Stilettos I agree - I think one chance is enough when someone shows you who they are believe it the first time
Thanks
Exactly!
@@simmy.saini_official I agree with that too because I gave someone a second chance before and it didn't turn out so well the second time. I do realize I was dealing with a grown boy back then and maybe a grown man will be different, but now I don't want to take the chance.
@@anasmith8755 You're welcome.
Oftentimes if the guy is not quote-unquote in love, it is because he don't love himself. That can be for several reasons, usually he is not financially established or he's just not where he want to be in his life. I'm saying this because many ladies take to heart that a guy is not in love with her and it's not her fault or anything that she did wrong.
Will you explain the last part more?
Very true. My ex tried to love me , but he was not happy in his life. He was unemployed, no goals in life, always arguing with parents he lived with. In the end, he kept trynna do things that gave him little highs and made him feel better. Like cheating, using tinder, and prob much more that he hasn’t told me
As woman we must be responsible for what we allow to happen to us. Love yourself first. Everything else will come as God allows. Blessings yall!
"Break up to make up, thats all we do.
First you love me, than you hate me.
Thats a game for Fools"
Its not when u love the person and want to make it work but have to break up and kep trying until we get it to work. sometimes you have to do this a few times until one grows up and matures after breaking up a few times.
the break ups happened bc of infidelities on his part. we hv a child together n are married now!!!! i thought we were fully done this last time but he learned the grass wasnt greener on the otherside with that girl and begged to come bk so he is bk in the household now. he wont cheat again and is focused on us n our family now. it would make no sense for him to cheat bc i just took him bk a few months ago. the off n on over the yrs even before child n marriage finally paid off bc i hv my husband now n he only wants me! now u see y i say he im love with me n serious this time?
Emerald Jones Emerald, I should have known it was you when I ready your comment 😂 This is QueenOfLife lol even on TH-cam ppl disagree with your relationship views. You may want to reevaluate, honey lol
Eternity With Christ lol exactly! 💓
@@emeraldjones5195: Living in La La Land.
It’s over when I see there’s no reciprocation nor alignment between us. Pull the plug and move on. That’s why I establish boundaries and standards before I step into a union with a woman.
Amen
That reciprocation is "key" for me!!
The perfect summary.
Facts: I just ended a 10yr relationship 6 of those years married.
Just glad I finally held myself accountable for my own happiness
Kiara Mitchell your words...hit me like a ton of bricks. I had to screenshot. I'm 23 yrs in 9yrs married. Thank you I needed this.
💔😑praying
Yesss mam
@@kdrew8679 9 year toxic relationship and im 25. Still struggling, but im not alone.
We will succeed
@@cherryelisa Ending a 10 year toxic relationship at 24... It’s going to hurt so much but I know in the end...we’ll both be glad I did this. He won’t let me go but he acts like he doesn’t want me at the same time.
Hang in there ❤️
Literally this made me cry cuz I know better
love I'm crying too.. Got to pick ourselves up and move on. Sending you love and happiness
❤
We all know nothing is guaranteed, but to maliciously string someone along for whatever reason is down right evil.
It gets better love's. I was once there too and i learned. You'll be smarter the next time. Remember your standards like tony said and stick to them.
Its really hard to say goodbye.
Well it's official my relationship is over. 😭
After the second time I’m out. After 6 month I’m out. More then 2 years no way. Thanks Tony! No time to be sad n stress. God ain’t send you here to be sad with that guy!
Truuuuuuuuuue😂!!! I'm out as well!! My momma didn't put me in this earth to suffer ,just because of an idiot ughhh
Confirmation
@@mouniadia1951 DITTO!!!
Well said!!
💯
My relationship after 5 years is over. No communication, no sex, no intimacy, silent treatment from him. No effort from either side. It took me 5 years to know that this must end.
When he disassociated him self from me, ok.
The Bible says !when you do all you can do !!then stand!!
Respect my mind Respect my time.
You know it’s over the minute you stop kidding yourself. And the bad one in the relationship knows it over when the other one wakes up.
Tony you are not playing with these videos! Uploading and speaking life into us everyday. Thanking God for you and Blessings from the messages!
You have to get up from the table, when love is no longer being served. Shout out to Nina Simone
It’s over when he never bothers to spend time with you and claims he is busy every single day and he tells you he wants to take a “ break”. Nah man let’s just end it and break ups That’s what I went through with my ex.
When u said u got your wife flowers, I felt neglected. I'm in a relationship for 9 yrs onward and never got flowers. My sister gets flowers every mth and she's been dating only for one year.
Probably watching this video is a good indicator, it’s not thriving😂
😩😂😂 right!!
Love and Respect go hand in hand. If there's no respect, there no love, if there's no love, there's no relationship.
This was spot on. I never understand why people so proudly say “I’ve been on & off with my partner for X amount of years” they gloat while saying it as if it’s something to be proud of because of the years/history.!! It’s a disgrace. Nothing will be different after trying it out so many times.!! It’s ridiculous. Thank you for breaking this down Uncle Tony ❤️
Happy Growing you live & you learn, now you know better 🧡😌
@Happy Growing you're welcome. Yes, I see you edited cant find the post. I know noone is perfect, hence why I said I don't think you meant it that way. Its just that as a child of God, I do my best to not say, moreso write certain things. Heck, we all slip up at times, including me. Too many times to count lol.
As for the relationship, don't be embarrassed you stayed that long. You're out and lessons were leant. You move forward now with a better you. Blessings.
@Happy Growing ok. No, dont self pity. That's what love does until one day we say no more. You got to know your value girl. They know what you'll allow and play on that. I always say, if we're not comfortable with the person we're with, we have to work on who we are, because we can't change anyone. When we do that, who we attract or becomes attracted to, will change to align with who we are. Never compromise your self worth. You got to love you before you're able to give love. So these men should shape up or you run. Stay strong and never stop working on you.
It can be different after trying for years bc over time you grow, change your ways, and and mature so if you hang in there long enough yo make it work you can have a successful marriage.l no matter how many times you were off and on in the marriage.
@Happy Growing
i allowed off and on my mariage and forgive multiple cheating over the course of it bc i want my marriage. its hard to let go and i want to believe this time he has changed like he said he has so i let him move bk in.
Do not kill yourself trying to be an exception to the rule I felt that 🙌💯
Tony..some men don't want to be married but want the benefits of what a husband receive and the line that is used "you got to wait and see" or "just give me some time it will happen". Giving out false hope instead of being honest and just say I don't want to be married. Off and on relationships do transpires in this situation.
Teresa Hadley preach.... and when you start trying to build and have a partnership they make every excuse to not do it... this is why we gotta have our standards and the ability to walk away
Bewise..You better say that..We as women need to really stick with our standards.
Teresa Hadley yah man I walked away after 3 years lovely person and was treated very well but I was over being a girlfriend... wanted a true partnership and covenant and straight up asked our plans for the future...he wasn’t ready even though we talked about it for the end of the year and were looking for homes but being intentional things were crystal clear. As ladies men are simple you just gotta ask they actually will tell you or show you.
@@cocastar good advice! How do we bring it up in a way where we don’t get the run around
Most men and women try each other, that's just not something I'm really Keen on doing. Disrespecting me 1 time is a warning 2nd we are done.
Thank you for this. Have been single for 2 years. My last relationship was traumatic. And your video is helping me choose a better partner in the future.
My relationship is over due to I know my worth. And I worked to damn hard to get where I am today. Glory be to God his Grace for me. ☺❤🙏
You know it’s over when everything they do irritates you. You don’t want them talking to you, touching you, etc. I knew my relationship was over when he went away on a 3 day trip and I did not miss him at all and was dreading him coming home.
No more respect ,no more affection !
Spot on 💯. U should give them one shot if they are not making an effort to compromise and make the relationship better. It's time to kick rocks if they refuse to try and meet you with love, respect for you, admiration and hard work to please you as best they can. Life is to short to live in missery
If I must provide a man w answers yet he still fail the tests, it's a wrap for me..Regret for wasted time leaves more time wasted
Don't leave broke is the first rule
whats that suposed to mean and what answers you feel you responsble for
I wish I had all of this information as a youth! I think it would be great if you had this as a curriculum for fathers to walk with their daughters through. That would be amazing.
Thanks..My ex was a Narcissist..i new i had to get rid if him before I stab him...
🤣
Or poison his ass!!!!
Daily Bless Word 😂😂
😂😂
😂😂 Gurrrl
"Where is the effort?"
I was like on chance #40, in my 14 years with him (2 daughters together)..the last mistake he made (major one), left me broken and questioning my worth but it was the last mistake. Been single since last October and not looking back. These videos are opening my eyes. Thanks Tony
Everything you said was on point, GOD BLESS YOU SIR
I your partner show u who they are after the first time take my advice and leave and do no contact they will value you more depending on the person or situation now if they a cheater there is no accidents on that so just love yourself and leave...
Its not that easy when you are married and have dealt with your husband cheating and having an affair before. When you still are in love with them it is hard to just let go.
@@emeraldjones5195 yeah but you choose to deal with him cheating vs just not leaving and you can still love them but the real question is do you love him or yourself more...because you are worth more than someone who will choose a quicky over you if that person has no respect or love for you because if they did they wouldn't cheat you would be there main focus...so if you love yourself do yourself a favor and leave it's better than catching a STD
He begged to come back this time after he realized the other woman was not what he thoight. He said he wanted his family back and was done with the bs so i let him move back in. sometimes you have to give them chances and then finally they learn lesson and do right. i have my happy marriage now and healing i think
@@emeraldjones5195 mmmm but those words I think.... Is saying alot if you know y'all happy you would be certain....I honestly hope he isn't cheating on you but I can only think from those word you have doubts be careful sister remember you are worth more
@@emeraldjones5195 "after he realised the other woman wasn't right" that's when he begged you back!! SMH. So what if she was right, does that mean he'd leave you. The fact he's looking for someone 'right' when he already has a wife, speaks volumes about his character and intentions. Only you know what's best for you but please develop your self esteem and self worth at least.
" power struggles under 2 years is normal ".
TF NO !
If we're having power struggles after 3 months, I am OUT.
It means he is not ready and has communication problems. Not something I wanna deal with.
I just took myself throw tht🤦🏿♀️
It’s over when you’re on this video sitting there thinking about it . You deserve better so let it be known.
Right lol
It's over when you back 🤣🤣🤣
@@Classynfabolous005 you better not be watching it again lmao! 😂
@@brookecash20 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I dated a guy from and on for 12 years.. I got remarried and divorce and got back together for like 6 months. I finally broke up with him for good and he is still not married. He and his present girlfriend have been together for almost 4 years.. Some men don't want to be married and they need to let the woman/man know so time wouldn't be wasted.
No, babe.
NO human being will do that.
NONE. ALL human beings are self-centered. It's up to YOU to protect yourself. If you look like easy prey, trust me, you'll attract to you tonnes of users who will gladly take you for a ride.
Some alpha males be honest and tell u they are not looking for marriage.
I asked my guy at the time did he put any effort into our relationship he clearly told me he didn’t so I made him my ex... I knew at that moment of me constantly trying to make things work wasn’t for me so I had to take my heart out of it. That love that I once had for him is no longer available
Watches video... Considers relationship...😬 Aight, Ima head out 😅
Mimi G exactly 😂
Kmsl trueeeee
😂🤣😂
🤣🤣🤣
Glory to God! God reveals what we need to know through His servants. Be blessed!
When you have meeting of the minds with understanding and respect for each other. You are like soul mates. You have come to trust, love and honor each other. This is what everyone wants to have what you have with your spouse Tony
You are describing Narcissistic abuse !
Yes
I agree tony if you give to many chances more than 3 chances and still no changes not learning and growing keep making the same mistakes over and over and over and arguring about the same things over and over still they not learning from their mistakes. No no 3 strike you out. I got tried for telling my last ex things we need to work on to grow he would agree to make changes i saw very little change i would tell him how i feel on certain things over and over and over same things he always say he sorry and he will do better guess what he did it again and again not trying to do better i am not going to keep repeating repeating and repeating myself about the same problems no. I was so done done he didn't listen didnt change didn't care or didn't take me serious so i just walked away from the relationship once im done im done 3 strike you out. he want me back no im not going back no back and forth with me oh no. Im not going to waste my time and im not settling for less because i deserve better better. Im happy single and blessed I know my value and worth and he was not for me God has the right husband for me one day. Everyone if the person dont respect value or know your worth dont waste your time and dont settle for less. God bless everyone thank you God and tony for this message i needed it. 👏👏👏👍👍✌✌☺
Traquila Smi
He stops texting you and calling you and not treating you like a good person no hugs or kiss or not supporting you no talking at all
I appreciate you Mr. Gaskins
When he asks you what you like about him. Then he turns himself into the opposite around you. Decades ago but haven't forgotten.
I feel deep in my heart that my husband has no feelings for me and all his actions shows me the same . I want to end this relationship but when I look at my daughter as she loves him so much it’s like killing me
You’ll be an even better parent if you live your truth and live in peace. If you feel you’ve tried everything you can to make the relationship work and it still doesn’t feel right or you feel unloved it might be time to walk away.
I would say think about what is being modelled to you your daughter. You may not think she can see the fact that he has no feelings for you but children absorb everything. You dont want her repeat your situation in her own life.
Thank you Tony , I really needed to hear this. A lot of women stay in relationship and do not know when to leave and we allow men to disrespect us and we stay because we love them. Thank you
How long does it take a baby to learn how to walk and talk... Whewww. That's that WORD being brought forth. Teach brother. ❤️
Tony that is a big fact. I was in a relationship with my ex for 4 yrs and jus 3 days ago I said bye because of eveththing you have stated I'm doing no contact will see what happens.
Angela Speranza same here girl!! 4 years and Im struggling to let go and stay gon!! Smh
Its been 5 months. Update?
PERIOD !! I love my self too much to be played or disrespected.
This video poped up and it was a universal message to me . Now I am sure aftee two and half years of a relationship we are over . It is the emotional abuse by leaving me for no reason and then coming back saying I want to marry you then neglicting me , running away from communicating with me and finally LEAVING me due to stupid reasons no one can relate .. He is toxic but I am letting go feeling I worth more than that ..PEACE 💜
My heart broke Midway through. All of this is gone from my relationship. Although we don't go on "breaks" I have to "look under the hood" every 3 months. The same conversation for years.
It's over when you start name calling , discussions, become debating, and verbal becomes physical, and understanding is not there. Or big picture start fading. Or selfish needs become demands. Or you just don't know that person anymore.
Tony u guys talk a lot cause u got nothing to hide and have structure and compassion for each other
Your videos truly help with healing. Thanks so much for your insight and all your efforts. You are a Godsend. 🙏❤️
He has treated me so badly that after 8 good years and 9 not so good, I can't deal with it anymore
Don't leave let it continue
When you catch another man in your bed with your woman and you got off work early and walk into that it’s over sorry had to get it off my mind my bad
I kept finding other female under cloths and under the bed,I forgive him then the disrespect got worse,I left him im free frm the head ache and drama,fighting and pretending like I'm ok...
Happy you didn't kill the person...
Her lost...
It's over after the fact they lied and put in situations I didnt deserve to be in such as cheating I dont sell myself short my value is to high but now I will start from scratch and reinvent myself namaste let keep Houston strong again
As a man who has been dating for 15 plus years I have to say it’s hard to find a woman who takes accountability when they are wrong men deal with alot in relationships to not all of us are bad. I just wished some women would stop being disrespectful loud and rude and trying to fight... wonder why a man left you smh you ran him off lol
OUR RELATIONSHIP is that car that veered off the road AND SLAMMED INTO A DITCH...iT'S dead AND THE only WAY HE WILL SEE OR HEAR FROM ME AGAIN IS IN THE AFTERLIFE. DONE!!!
😳🤣😜
Damn
Could u make a video on this subject "power struggles" early on in the relationship. As you mentioned in this video
trendafile yes, please!
Thank you and I appreciate your wisdom.
I'm so... disappointed with myself for putting up with cheating, lies, manipulative and being physically, mentally and emotionally abuse for 10 years just because I wanted my marriage to work and I wanted my family🤦☹️ Dam how stupid was I
I stayed with my husband for over 30 years with the abuse (cheating, lies, physical, mental, emotional). I know how it wears you down. Outsiders don't see that darker side of him, he was very careful to hide it. I'm divorced now, but it took so much strength to get to this point and I now see the things I did wrong and wish I had the guts ( and the finances) to have left him ALOT sooner. Don't think you are ever alone in your plight...reaching out for help is a sign that you are on the way to getting better. No better venue than with Tony Gaskins.
It happens to the best of us they are devils in human form & if you aren’t discerning them then it’s easy to be trapped in a relationship with them
I believe you have to set yourself apart and learn your value. I think so many times we accept less than what we should, even when it’s not bad, and are taken for granted. You have to be your best you to be treated as high value. If you’re guessing “is it over?” I think likely you don’t necessarily know what you should accept. However, you have to give respect to the other person and hold them and yourself to a high standard. Just my opinion 😏
I’m so unhappy.. I love a man who is not faithful to me. I want to be free and Not love him anymore
You can do it! I was with someone for 7yrs and I just got fed up with the lies and disrespect. Honestly, when you done done you won’t look back. Good luck hun.
I gave too many chances because I was brainwashed that I would not sustain on my own even I was financially independent.
Stone walling gaslighting silent treatments, deaths threats .....
SAY THAT TONY!!!! 🙌🏽
Tony could you please make a video on how to break a soul tie with your childs father. Everything in this video applies to my life! I am 24yrs old & ready to move on from my childs father
Nae.l Chelz I’m in the same boat and I also want to move on from my Child’s father.
Yes please!!!!
Me and you
Me too but I have no family home to go to
I gotta get a better job so I can move out
It was over when he kept breaking promises, never made plans/went on dates (just chilling at his house) , kept hiding his phone screen, had tinder and lied that he just never deleted it the past year and a half of our relationship, kept making excuses to not meet my parents, waited over a year before he let me meet his friends, oh and when he cheated and got the girl pregnant and only now is he realizing he should get a job and become a better person.
@@AllergicToMakeBelieve yes I did now . Ty sis. I’m loving being single and never thought i would!
3 strikes ⚾ you're OUT!! 👎
How about when you ask him over and over where the relationship stands and he never answers, its always a bad time. Or you ask him how he feels about you and he gives you the runaround?
Thank you so much for letting God use you! I’m new to your channel and I’ve learned so much.. blessings to you and your family
Thank you very much Toney because of your teaching I were able to let go of a toxic relationship.
Good for you! Let the healing begin.
Thank you for mentioning types of abuse on the list. This shd b at the top of the list as so many women get trapped into forms of abuse. 1 type of abuse u didn't mention that many women suffer in silence with is sexual abuse. Just because u r in a relationship doesn't mean he has the right to have sex with u or touch u sexually if u don't want it. Consent still has to b there. He shd not be using it as a punishment and way of controlling u and physically hurting u with it as some men use this as its humiliating to report and prove. Similarly he also shouldn't b having sex with u whilst u r asleep, drunk etc or use forms of blackmail to make u consent like he's going to get it elsewhere or calling u names or making u feel guilty by using the bible. Sexual abuse is just as damaging as other types of abuse and erodes away at the persons worth and self esteem. And due to shame that is not theirs, women feel unable to speak up or leave and many are still not believed when they do disclose the truth. Or worse many r told its part of marriage and shd put up with it. So if this happening to you its abuse and u shd leave.
Cleo Will thank you for bringing this up. The long term situationship ive been in for 11 years now, I was sexually abused. But I didn’t realize it until I started going to therapy. Everything from threats of if I don’t have sex with him he’ll go somewhere else, to him having full blown sex with me in my sleep while I was 7 months pregnant. I knew when he took advantage of my body while I was sleeping- didn’t feel right to me.. but bc you in a relationship you feel it’s not rape. Like you talk it down to yourself, like it’s not technically rape bc we together.. just like women talk other types of abuse down, like oh he didn’t knock my teeth out so it’s not a big deal.
@@krystalgardiner5591 it is a big deal. I also had a friend who tried to minimise my abuse which no one has the right to do. And as u say when there's little or no proof and ur in a relationship with someone.. It feels like a double betrayal to call it rape and call them out on it and to have to face yourself and the reality of your situation. Towards the end of my 18 Yr marriage I could barely look at myself in the mirror as I not only hated him, but myself aswell. As u say so many of don't realise its rape and don't want to see ourselves as a victim of DV. And we don't want to think of our partners as a person who would violate us in that way. That's what makes sexual violence so insidious. I'm glad u r going to therapy and hope one day u will experience a level of peace and healing free from the fear and pain being with an abuser brings. Thankfully I've been out of it for 6 yrs now after an 18 Yr abusive marriage, but was only able to get out with the help of the police and other organisations. I only wish I'd left many Yr earlier as I could have saved my children and myself many years of pain and suffering...
@@cleopatrawf I suffered the same abuse 😔 after so many years with a 👹. The cycle has to be broken. Once I get out...I will seek guidance and counseling for me and my daughter's.
My partner and I have been together for 7yrs. We've had maybe 3 dates out of those years. We have a beautiful child together and though things DO get rough I feel there is so much we are missing out on as a couple and as a family. When i bring up dates or having family outings his response is always "it's not making me any money so why would I do that comfortably " or "if being with me aint enough then you need to be with someone else". I've come down to realizing I'm most likely not the one for him. Men know what they want and will do things for the person they want. Even though he refuses to admit it, I'm already accepting it.
Mr Tony you arr exactly right. 12 yrs can be like yr 1 when you put in the effort. Marriage doesn't mean the same old thing when you work to keep it fresh. Knowing what you partner likes and making effort to keep him or jer interested.
I knew it was over when he broke up with me. I was devastated.