If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor BetterHelp. Click betterhelp.com/StephanSpeaks for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy with a licensed professional specific to your needs.
There's no such thing as a perfect marriage or relationship; each one is special. What makes one person happy might not make another person happy. But I've realized that there's always a way to solve problems. Five years ago, my wife and I were almost getting divorced because we had problems in our marriage, but we managed to sort things out. It was a difficult time, but we got through it.
Parting ways with someone you deeply care about is never easy, but in my particular circumstance, I was aided by a spiritual mentor who averted the collapse of my marriage. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.
Great video! Sadly, my two-year relationship ended a month ago. The person I thought was the love of my life decided to leave, and I’m still deeply in love with him. I can’t stop thinking about him, and despite all my efforts to win him back, nothing has worked. I feel so frustrated and can’t imagine being with anyone else. No matter what I do, he’s always on my mind, and I miss him terribly.
Letting go of someone you love is incredibly hard. I went through a similar experience when my twelve-year relationship ended. I couldn't bear to lose him, so I did everything I could to rekindle our relationship. Eventually, I sought the help of a spiritual counselor, who guided us back together.
THE ENDING OF RELATIONSHIPS IS USUALLY A BLESSING IN DISGUISE...YES..IT HURTS ...PRAY TO GOD FOR STRENGTH...CRY...MOVE ON AND START ON YOUR ROAD TO HEALING... YOU'LL SEE AND UNDERSTAND DOWN THE ROAD THAT YOU REALLY WERE BETTER OFF WITHOUT THAT TOXIC PERSON. BEEN THERE ... DONE THAT! GAME OVER! FORWARD IS WHERE I'M HEADED!
Great video! Unfortunately, my two-year relationship ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, and I still love him deeply. I can't stop thinking about him. I've done everything I can to get him back, but nothing has worked. I'm frustrated and can't imagine my life with anyone else. Despite my best efforts, I can't get him out of my mind. I really miss him.
It's incredibly hard to let go of someone you love. I was in a similar situation when my twelve-year relationship ended. I couldn't let him go, so I did everything I could to get him back. I sought the help of a spiritual counselor, who assisted me in reuniting with him.
You are so right. One has to nip toxic communication. I thought as long as I set the boundry to physical abuse then I was safe. Emotional and verbal abuse like yelling and threatning makes one feel in danger that leaving could be dangerous. People have to feel and be safe in the relationship. If you can't talk with your partner or even if you don't want to talk freely something is very wrong.
I agree with you 100% Stephan. True connection is everything to me - it’s the key ingredient. If there is no connection, then I leave and walk away immediately regardless. I do not waste any time. I only need 1 date/meeting to know whether or not I connect with someone. Connection is either there or it’s not. If there is no connection, then good bye 👋👋👋👋👋 permanently. It is that simple for me.
Interestingly, all my relationship problems arise during texting... I can only accomplish 'confrontation' calmly IN PERSON. This is because I do not understand the tone of texts and will immediately catastrophise a text if I cannot read a person's voice and body language. Basically, I'm a nightmare over text - I am not good at it at all because I find an absence of clues, cues and humanity in it.
I,ve said it before refrain from forcing men to love you With no connection this so called relationship Is over before it even starts Ladies al stop chasing him ,just let it be Those of us who has subscribed to Steph channel And listen ,learn and share his contents are Super CLASSY and our choices are TOP NOCHE We simply follow the BEST God bless you Coach Stephan Am forever greatfull
Thank you so much for this! I play mind games with myself because I feel stuck. It really does hurt me in the long run because, like you said, “there’s no peace”. I wish I could just call you up and talk! 😄
Square pegs cannot fit in round holes ,when it over its over Worrying it's like a rocking chair Gives us something to do,but gets us no where Follow Steph's advice and remember to PRAY
Relationships are always difficult, but only when we look at them from afar and with understanding we are able to take off the burden from them. Thank you for your video, your insights and your calming voice. It helps in realising that changes in relationships can be welcome as something natural, despite the pain.
My ex had issues and resentment towards me that were only revealed after the break up. I wish he would have communicated with me instead of everyone else about it.
Stephan, I appreciate this information. This isn't overly critical. This is healthy, and you're considering that we're all human and things won't be perfect. I think that's some of our mistakes. We expect perfection instead of realizing that we have to ease up a little and realize that neither of us have it all together.
I still think my ex just needed to clearly break things down for me. When he finally broke up with me and started listing off all the reasons he didn’t want to be with me, I asked why he couldn’t have had an honest and calm conversation with me to give me the chance to address the issues, he insisted that he did. But people can’t hear you when you’re yelling and being aggressive! I really wish I could’ve heard him when he was yelling, I would still have him. But he left me.
I'm experiencing this too. The stress from my new job and my current rocky relationship with my bf has both contributed to me dramatically losing weight in a short span, about 15-20 lbs. My pants keep falling down at work and I feel like the weight loss is contributing to my bf being distant from me sexually even more... He thinks it's not true but I feel like he's gaslighting me, we've only been close like once a week to once every two weeks. He claims he's depressed with everything, but feels therapy isn't for him. And then I'm scared of him finding a therapist that he'll fall in love with. Idk, I have so much anxiety over all this, everyday.. 😓 idk wat to do..
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to move on, I really loved her so much i can’t stop thinking about her and the memories we shared. I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail. I’m frustrated, and i don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts, but i can’t. I don’t know why I’m saying this here, but i really miss her and i wish i could get her back.
I have been in such a situation. My relationship ended about three years ago, but i could not let her go. So i had to do all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring her back. We are back together, and i must say i am enjoying every moment.
This was so on point…. I’m in a situationship I just can’t be myself and that’s not even me… he’s dealing with something emotionally but he’s on his own time not mine and always tells me I’m his peace. I care but trying to wrap my head around it all but what I have learned personally men handle hurt different. But what if you feel like the “relationship” has never begun because of the disconnect 🤔
I’m an 18 year old female who started dating this boy that I had eyes for and I found out that his mom was very over bearing and I talked to him about it. Every time I said something he’d make an excuse or blow what I say off. Before the year mark I broke up with him because she tried casting what she did when she was younger onto me and got deep into his head. I’m still recovering but I’m glad that I left. I explained to him why I left and told him that until he sets boundaries with her and finds himself we can try again but as of right now I have a life to live and I refuse to leave you feeling as if you have to choose when you don’t.
I've been there. You are right about him needing to set boundries with his mother. He is allowing his mother to control him. He needs to cut the apron strings.
I need to stop myself from daydreaming about him. He’s been hesitant about our connection from the beginning and I know that means I am not his person and I don’t want his pity, he knows I am a good person and he is trying to be there for me but he is not feeling it like I am.
I was in the same position.. he ended up, marrying somebody and not telling me! I was devastated.. Of course, at that time and we were just friends, but I still had feelings For him. I learned a lot through this lesson. I will never be with a man like this again, he was a man of options! I wasn’t one of them!
Move forward.. grieve but be thankful you never married him. They are not honorable men.. This guy still wanted to hear from me after he secretly got married!! He even was kissing me 2 months before he got married!! He was engaged to this long time friend! I was so naïve!
This one was a hard listen but necessary personally. That part about good man, wrong guy…whooo! Also, I agree with you that lack of connection can be a relationship killer. You didn’t hold anything back on this one, sir!
Sheesh, number 4 here all the way. Was hoping and praying the whole 3 years here with my bf, that he would change his mind on the deep core values and things that I dearly want. I have been like a yo-yo often trying to break it off due to realizing he wasn't going to change his mind for me, but before the end of the conversation could even be made, he had me back around his little finger, and I was back in his arms. The timing of this video is uncanny, because during the time this video was posting, I was breaking it off again, and I actually held on to it until he left. I have never made it this far, and I can only wonder if there will be a battle later, and if he's going to try win my heart back again.
I would tell my ex that the way he was talking to me made me feel like he didn’t want me to be there and if he wanted me to leave & one day he kicked me out because he took that as me telling him I wanted to leave…. NO I DONT WANT TO LEAVE I WANT YOU TO COMMUNICATE WITH ME IN A PEACEFUL MANNER! But I still got kicked out, I live in a rat infested apartment now. He could never address or take accountability for how his behavior was also a fuel to the chaos. But because I stayed and because I just allowed it….he kept doing it and I became the problem 💔
I 100% agree with communication, unfortunately you have to wait until you have a disagreement to see how you and your partner work it out. The first fight with my ex was so toxic, they broke up with me, then stonewalled me, and when I was ready to address how they hurt me by doing that, my partner was SOOOOO dismissive, wouldn't allow me to tell him how I felt. Instead they hung up on me, and when I called them I ended up leaving a message, and he would respond to my message via text. That is when I gave up, if you can't communicate like an adult then you aren't worth my time.
You’re just talking about my situation right now😢At this point I just want a break, maybe we can work things out later or maybe not. But for now I need some fresh air 😊
TBH, email or letter is not a good option for those with strong corporate background or in leadership roles. The style of my written communication is formal & will likely escalate an explosive situation! 😄 I do better with 1:1 but may need coaching with presentation. Everyone needs to identify their communication style.
My problem is with a man who doesn't want to address the conflict. One who wants to sweep it all under the carpet and forget. If he's ables to able to, why can't I just let it go? He asks. Some things are big deals I think. I tried writing but the response was hmmm
I can't be myself when I am with my husband. I am not happy with him anymore. I don't see my future with him. His presence annoys me. We don't communicate properly. He has the tendency to get mad easily and raise his voice if he disagrees with my opinion and decisions. Several instances in which I felt disrespected. I don't feel valued. I cannot talk to him about the future plans. So many red flags. So, I decided to leave him 6 months ago. Now, my life is way happier and more relaxed. It wasn't an easy decision because we have an 8-year-old daughter but I have to coz I don't want my daughter to grow up seeing me miserable with his father. Now, me and my daughter are very happy and living in peace.
I love having the letter for another person to look at and refer back to and understand what you're talking about. This way you know exactly what you said and what you did not say or what you did not mean. The letter becomes a point of discussion and a guideline for the future discussions and negotiations or assessments. It's really hard to respond 2 terrible news in person and behave properly. I don't think it's necessary to put either one of you through that now that social media is acceptable. But you must follow up with a phone call at least an opportunity to listen and let them work through the difference is between where they were heading and what the reality is. I have four kids. and I learned with a couple of them, and with me, that it was far better to break the bad news to them over text first and let them have their emotional reaction as they choose. Then ALWAYS follow up a little later in the day with a PERSONAL phone call to allow them to respond and begin a conversation that starts with listening. Then explaining and adjusting their understanding because of their past wounds. Be a best friend. The best you can. Some people won't allow it and that likely means you would never work things through anyway. Set them free to learn another day. Far Better than not dealing with it at all and running away and adding to the devastation and shock of the change.
Some people are just so immature and can’t see their own faults so what Is a spouse suppose to do ? Like a broken piece of Chins some things just can’t be fixed !
This guy can't make up his mind on committing. I told him I'll give him one more year. And then if he decides not to be serious I asked him to introduce me to someone who will!
For some people even "addressing" something, means the relationship is over. In their mind, "If I have to address it it's done because I don't want to address it, I don't want to be in that situation.'
WALKING AWAY, NO CONTACT IS HORRIBLE BUT NECCESSARY. IT IS MAKES YOU CRAZY. AN ACHE THAT DOES NOT GO AWAY QUICKLY ENOUGH. GOTTA SIT WITH THAT PAIN. DONT DO IT ALONE, TALK TO SOMEONE.
Yes I think I had a little more going on than he does and he took that as me not making progress to his standard, so he broke it off and I felt like he didnt give it a fair shot. Its not like I wasnt making any progress and he was never satisfied with it. I dont understand because we were reading "how to do the work" and I dont think he read the book or he took certain parts but didnt apply other things, so he ended it.
What if a situation has been addressed, the other person does work on the issue, makes good progress but the issue does return, and then the individual continues to make progress, but if the issue keeps coming up they are still being treated as "you did wrong." It could mean it's just part of their character no matter how hard they want to change. Does that make them a bad person?
This is about a breakup🥺💔 I want an honest answer to this🥺, Someone should please talk to me🥺🥺🥺 What if I am the major cause of him breaking up? Many of our issues stem from my unhealed traumas and it took me so long to realize, I hadn’t really wholeheartedly loved him, I didn’t even know until I uncover the root cause. He loved me so deeply and would always come back, I thought I did but I haven’t been loving him the way I should. We had a lot of issues but we were always willing to work it out. Now, when I just got to the root cause of my trauma, and taking necessary actions to get better, I am now capable of fully letting go and becoming very vulnerable with him, now he no longer want the relationship🥺💔. I really want him to see how much I am willing to evolve, willing to become better, now he said it’s too late, it’s been a long time, it’s been 4 years, I had been loving out of my wounds, I really want him to witness this. He said he realized he does not love himself by sticking with me all this while🥺💔💔 All my actions were never intentional🥺, I was always willing to be better at every point in our relationship, even I didn’t realize how deeply wounded I have been.🥺🥺😭😭 Please someone should talk to me, is there any possibility of him coming back? Or it’s never going to happen again?
Awh. Let him go. If you want to find authentic love... keep true to discovering your self. Keep rising up. Don't look back. And yes, you will sometimes feel like you don't know where on earth you are going. Just keep your eye on living each day in love. And one day you will experience a relationship with someone else that is walking the same path.
Hi Stephan, how can I prevent now with not getting into a relationship or marriage with someone who will outgrow me intellectually, spiritually, emotionally etc. or vice versa?
I'm not Stephan, but by continuing to improve yourself in all areas and encouraging the other person to do the same, you don't need to worry. There is no sitting on laurels in the relationship that is supposed to last forever.
What if you have everything but he can’t be committed right now. That lack of commitment led to anxious thoughts but it never occurred. I’m hoping he comes back ready because it was so amazing in the beginning, and then we made a few mistakes along the way, but then he realized he can’t be committed right now, we were together a year. He was truly like the most amazing man I’ve ever met. We have love connection maybe less trust cuz of not knowing what he wanted. But we had loyalty love connection chemistry. It all, he is a man of God but doesn’t know what is Gods calling for his life so it’s hard.
What if he won’t read my emails or messages?? He just shuts down and blames me for his shortcomings. He’s disrespectful I pay all the bills I’m just over it all
Sir what is your take on the situation where he shows care and is helpful and consistent but doesn't want to be in a relationship and just breakup with you but stay friends. What is the solution here? DO YOU BELEIVE that staying friends with ex can help you show them that you have changed and rekindle everything
Sometimes; it's best to just take a "break"! If you don't, it could make things worse! My "situationship" ended tonight! I didn't even know that was what I was in... I kept misunderstanding things and the communication was terrible. I stayed calm and kept asking questions. He's finally acting appropriately for himself. Super easy to understand. I just hope he will be okay. Super Co-dependent and I will worry for a while but I finally have peace. FRIENDSHIP might be possible later but not now... It might take years... hang in there. Be a friend to yourself IMHO
Our situation is complicated his company is in nyc I live in south nj. He is considering bringing his company to nj to be with me, but the other investors may ask him to move back to NY as he is the CEO. I have restrictions to move out because I share custody with my ex and I have to be in a commutable distance for the kids we are deeply in love with each other but our circumstances are so complicated that I don’t know if we should continue with it.
what about these online bf of mine, we were in 2 months relationship, things were perfect. and he was supposed to see me in my country, last message was he was asking me to scout for condo/ apartment as he is staying for around 6 months months, and after these, scouting, he suddenly did not communicate, no his no message. its been nearly a wk and.half. i dont know if he changed his plan or if he is alive and well, bec part of his job is in oil ridge. very risky as said..oh my it hurts me a lot if why he did that to me
Also, is "progress" defined as all or nothing?. So if I ask someone to stop calling my phone after 10pm does that need to be always, in all occasions, at all times? Or only for let's say 3 months.
Hey can someone pls suggest what to say to him when he thanks me for caring for him that I made dinner IE. I was 18 years with one man and do not know how to react for this kind words in not a „mummy” way 😱
5 Signs Your Relationship Is Over 1) The issues have been addressed, and no progress has been made. 2) You can't be yourself with them. 3) Consistent unhealthy/abusive communication. 4) You have different values and want different things. 5) There is no trust. Bonus: There is no connection.
My boyfriend of almost one year. We got in a argument about the A/C. I told him he was being selfish because I didn’t want to be cold and he said fine and changed it back saying you know Fuck you twice. Then got in my face and said are you happy now. I don’t know if I should break it off or not. I don’t want to be alone but I think it’s more of a attachment feeling for me. If I stay will it let him think it’s okay to disrespect me? Should I give him another chance?
How about alcoholism? That is what is killing my relationship. How long do i hang on with promises of him quitting or slowing down, because honestly, the promise of change that never comes after 11 years is weighing me down BADLY. Im starting to hate him, and that scares me because when he's not drinking, i love being around him (connection). When he has alcohol i dislike him more with every cocktail he drinks. My window of him being sober gets smaller and smaller. His mouth gets disgusting and ignorant with each drink, and in 11 years, i can count on 1 hand the days he didn't drink. I no longer can have a drink because I feel likeit'ss giving him my blessing to go ahead and pop another. He used to be physically violent, but that has not happened in over a year. I guess i consider that progress. Saying that outloud makes me cringe, like woo hoo, you didn't hit your gf today!!! That is not a cause for celebration, I get that. The part of me that thinks its not going to work doesn't know how to get away anyway. So, is alcoholism adeal breaker?
@shannonnauer3367 As far as I know, alcoholism is not a universal deal breaker, nor is it required to be. I think it just depends on what each person can, or wants to, put up with. For me, I don't even want to date an occasional or social drinker unless I feel the Holy Spirit telling me to look past it or settle for it. I just don't feel peace about the alcohol realm.
@JStig12 yes, I think I finally am about to draw my line in the sand. I don't want to live like this. Always walking on eggshells, waiting to see the mood he's in. Mental abuse, especially overtime, I think, for me is worse than the physical. Although I've not had any e.r. visits for well over 2 years.
If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor BetterHelp. Click betterhelp.com/StephanSpeaks for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy with a licensed professional specific to your needs.
N❤sK itll😅😅
There's no such thing as a perfect marriage or relationship; each one is special. What makes one person happy might not make another person happy. But I've realized that there's always a way to solve problems. Five years ago, my wife and I were almost getting divorced because we had problems in our marriage, but we managed to sort things out. It was a difficult time, but we got through it.
Parting ways with someone you deeply care about is never easy, but in my particular circumstance, I was aided by a spiritual mentor who averted the collapse of my marriage. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.
You should... I promise you will not regret it.
❤
Im glad u both actually were mature and wanted to love each other and truly work on it 🙏🏽
Great video! Sadly, my two-year relationship ended a month ago. The person I thought was the love of my life decided to leave, and I’m still deeply in love with him. I can’t stop thinking about him, and despite all my efforts to win him back, nothing has worked. I feel so frustrated and can’t imagine being with anyone else. No matter what I do, he’s always on my mind, and I miss him terribly.
Letting go of someone you love is incredibly hard. I went through a similar experience when my twelve-year relationship ended. I couldn't bear to lose him, so I did everything I could to rekindle our relationship. Eventually, I sought the help of a spiritual counselor, who guided us back together.
Wow, that’s incredible! How did you find a spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with him?
His name is Fatherabulu, and he’s an amazing spiritual counselor who specializes in helping people reconnect with their ex.
Thank you for sharing this valuable info! I just looked him up, and he seems impressive.
*A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.*
❤
THE ENDING OF RELATIONSHIPS IS USUALLY A BLESSING IN DISGUISE...YES..IT HURTS ...PRAY TO GOD FOR STRENGTH...CRY...MOVE ON AND START ON YOUR ROAD TO HEALING... YOU'LL SEE AND UNDERSTAND DOWN THE ROAD THAT YOU REALLY WERE BETTER OFF WITHOUT THAT TOXIC PERSON. BEEN THERE ...
DONE THAT! GAME OVER! FORWARD IS WHERE I'M HEADED!
Great video! Unfortunately, my two-year relationship ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, and I still love him deeply. I can't stop thinking about him. I've done everything I can to get him back, but nothing has worked. I'm frustrated and can't imagine my life with anyone else. Despite my best efforts, I can't get him out of my mind. I really miss him.
It's incredibly hard to let go of someone you love. I was in a similar situation when my twelve-year relationship ended. I couldn't let him go, so I did everything I could to get him back. I sought the help of a spiritual counselor, who assisted me in reuniting with him.
That's amazing! How did you find a spiritual counselor, and how can I reach him?
His name is Fatherabulu, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can help bring your ex back.
Thank you for this valuable information! I just looked him up online, and he seems impressive.
When you have to walk on eggshells it's time to leave.
You are so right. One has to nip toxic communication. I thought as long as I set the boundry to physical abuse then I was safe. Emotional and verbal abuse like yelling and threatning makes one feel in danger that leaving could be dangerous. People have to feel and be safe in the relationship. If you can't talk with your partner or even if you don't want to talk freely something is very wrong.
I agree.
I agree with you 100% Stephan. True connection is everything to me - it’s the key ingredient. If there is no connection, then I leave and walk away immediately regardless. I do not waste any time. I only need 1 date/meeting to know whether or not I connect with someone. Connection is either there or it’s not. If there is no connection, then good bye 👋👋👋👋👋 permanently. It is that simple for me.
Yes absolutely, having God by my side is all I need... Gb n ty.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback 🙏
Interestingly, all my relationship problems arise during texting... I can only accomplish 'confrontation' calmly IN PERSON. This is because I do not understand the tone of texts and will immediately catastrophise a text if I cannot read a person's voice and body language. Basically, I'm a nightmare over text - I am not good at it at all because I find an absence of clues, cues and humanity in it.
🙏 I hope you reach the point of truly doing what is best.
I am the same way. I hate texting when an issue arises I prefer face-to-face.
@@shandawingate1686 I've realised it's a compatibility thing
I,ve said it before refrain from forcing men to love you
With no connection this so called relationship
Is over before it even starts
Ladies al stop chasing him ,just let it be
Those of us who has subscribed to Steph channel
And listen ,learn and share his contents are
Super CLASSY and our choices are TOP NOCHE
We simply follow the BEST
God bless you Coach Stephan
Am forever greatfull
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️ 🙏
Never chase a man, keep your dignity intact and realize your own self worth.
Thank you so much for this! I play mind games with myself because I feel stuck. It really does hurt me in the long run because, like you said, “there’s no peace”. I wish I could just call you up and talk! 😄
I'm sorry to hear about that. I pray that you heal from all that you have been through and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏 ❤️
Square pegs cannot fit in round holes ,when it over its over
Worrying it's like a rocking chair
Gives us something to do,but gets us no where
Follow Steph's advice and remember to PRAY
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
Yes, prayer is important🙏.
Damn Stephan! This one HITS! I was in that position and I made the call to move forward with my life and live in my full light and authenticity
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that 🙏
Relationships are always difficult, but only when we look at them from afar and with understanding we are able to take off the burden from them. Thank you for your video, your insights and your calming voice. It helps in realising that changes in relationships can be welcome as something natural, despite the pain.
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
My ex had issues and resentment towards me that were only revealed after the break up. I wish he would have communicated with me instead of everyone else about it.
mine he bad mouth about me around his family and break our secret, its look like we are never together or understand each other. strange
Stephan, I appreciate this information. This isn't overly critical. This is healthy, and you're considering that we're all human and things won't be perfect. I think that's some of our mistakes. We expect perfection instead of realizing that we have to ease up a little and realize that neither of us have it all together.
I still think my ex just needed to clearly break things down for me.
When he finally broke up with me and started listing off all the reasons he didn’t want to be with me, I asked why he couldn’t have had an honest and calm conversation with me to give me the chance to address the issues, he insisted that he did.
But people can’t hear you when you’re yelling and being aggressive!
I really wish I could’ve heard him when he was yelling, I would still have him.
But he left me.
I really wish I would have listened too. 😢
I wish he had communicated in a healthy way for you to receive, so you stop blaming yourself.
I was 85 pounds the rerelationship was killing me.
I pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏
I'm Still Healing. Praying for Us❤❤❤
I'm experiencing this too. The stress from my new job and my current rocky relationship with my bf has both contributed to me dramatically losing weight in a short span, about 15-20 lbs. My pants keep falling down at work and I feel like the weight loss is contributing to my bf being distant from me sexually even more... He thinks it's not true but I feel like he's gaslighting me, we've only been close like once a week to once every two weeks. He claims he's depressed with everything, but feels therapy isn't for him. And then I'm scared of him finding a therapist that he'll fall in love with. Idk, I have so much anxiety over all this, everyday.. 😓 idk wat to do..
Damn. 😢 sorry to hear that
@@MeetStephanSpeaks I need advice is there anyway u do zooms or phone or anything please
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to move on, I really loved her so much i can’t stop thinking about her and the memories we shared. I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail. I’m frustrated, and i don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts, but i can’t. I don’t know why I’m saying this here, but i really miss her and i wish i could get her back.
I have been in such a situation. My relationship ended about three years ago, but i could not let her go. So i had to do all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring her back. We are back together, and i must say i am enjoying every moment.
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?
Her name is Maurice Gleti, and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
voodoo is not from God@@KennyChensey
This was so on point…. I’m in a situationship I just can’t be myself and that’s not even me… he’s dealing with something emotionally but he’s on his own time not mine and always tells me I’m his peace. I care but trying to wrap my head around it all but what I have learned personally men handle hurt different.
But what if you feel like the “relationship” has never begun because of the disconnect 🤔
I’m an 18 year old female who started dating this boy that I had eyes for and I found out that his mom was very over bearing and I talked to him about it. Every time I said something he’d make an excuse or blow what I say off. Before the year mark I broke up with him because she tried casting what she did when she was younger onto me and got deep into his head. I’m still recovering but I’m glad that I left. I explained to him why I left and told him that until he sets boundaries with her and finds himself we can try again but as of right now I have a life to live and I refuse to leave you feeling as if you have to choose when you don’t.
I've been there. You are right about him needing to set boundries with his mother. He is allowing his mother to control him. He needs to cut the apron strings.
THANK YOU sharing your knowledge and experience with us 1000x
My pleasure ❤️
Your advice is clear, concise, and effective. Especially like the write it down suggestion.
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
This is one of the best talk I listened. The way Stephan spoke is so simple and very close to the reality. Thank you for such a wonderful talk.
Yes, good message. I hope you're feeling ok, take care of yourself.
I need to stop myself from daydreaming about him. He’s been hesitant about our connection from the beginning and I know that means I am not his person and I don’t want his pity, he knows I am a good person and he is trying to be there for me but he is not feeling it like I am.
I was in the same position.. he ended up, marrying somebody and not telling me!
I was devastated..
Of course, at that time and we were just friends, but I still had feelings
For him.
I learned a lot through this lesson.
I will never be with a man like this again, he was a man of options!
I wasn’t one of them!
Move forward.. grieve but be thankful you never married him. They are not honorable men..
This guy still wanted to hear from me after he secretly got married!!
He even was kissing me 2 months before he got married!! He was engaged to this long time friend!
I was so naïve!
I have learned that the system knows it all! 😮 they are watching 😮
This one was a hard listen but necessary personally. That part about good man, wrong guy…whooo! Also, I agree with you that lack of connection can be a relationship killer. You didn’t hold anything back on this one, sir!
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
Sheesh, number 4 here all the way. Was hoping and praying the whole 3 years here with my bf, that he would change his mind on the deep core values and things that I dearly want. I have been like a yo-yo often trying to break it off due to realizing he wasn't going to change his mind for me, but before the end of the conversation could even be made, he had me back around his little finger, and I was back in his arms. The timing of this video is uncanny, because during the time this video was posting, I was breaking it off again, and I actually held on to it until he left. I have never made it this far, and I can only wonder if there will be a battle later, and if he's going to try win my heart back again.
🙏 I hope he reaches the point of truly doing what is best.
@MeetStephanSpeaks Thank you Stephan, I sure am hoping and praying so too.
I would tell my ex that the way he was talking to me made me feel like he didn’t want me to be there and if he wanted me to leave & one day he kicked me out because he took that as me telling him I wanted to leave….
NO I DONT WANT TO LEAVE I WANT YOU TO COMMUNICATE WITH ME IN A PEACEFUL MANNER!
But I still got kicked out, I live in a rat infested apartment now.
He could never address or take accountability for how his behavior was also a fuel to the chaos.
But because I stayed and because I just allowed it….he kept doing it and I became the problem 💔
I 100% agree with communication, unfortunately you have to wait until you have a disagreement to see how you and your partner work it out. The first fight with my ex was so toxic, they broke up with me, then stonewalled me, and when I was ready to address how they hurt me by doing that, my partner was SOOOOO dismissive, wouldn't allow me to tell him how I felt. Instead they hung up on me, and when I called them I ended up leaving a message, and he would respond to my message via text. That is when I gave up, if you can't communicate like an adult then you aren't worth my time.
You’re just talking about my situation right now😢At this point I just want a break, maybe we can work things out later or maybe not. But for now I need some fresh air 😊
This is coming right after a break up. I just want us to be friends we don’t need to date no more
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback 🙏
Is there a video that discusses being friends after a breakup on your page? This one is really stumping me on how to navigate it.@@MeetStephanSpeaks
Every time I try to communicate my feelings he monopolizes the conversation and I don’t get heard.
I once heard a wise millionaire minister say, "Good does not always belong together."
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
This came right on time 😩💯🗣️🤷🏽♀️ oh well. God got better for me!! 🙌🏽🙏🏽😇
I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏
@@MeetStephanSpeaks Thank you!!!!! 🙏🏽
Give it to GOD….
When it time to go.. It’s time to go.
NO TRUST… NO CONNECTION …Sad Situation😑
I had to walk away because I found out evidence he was lying about everything living a 2nd life!!
This has come at the right time wow! thank you for this.
TBH, email or letter is not a good option for those with strong corporate background or in leadership roles. The style of my written communication is formal & will likely escalate an explosive situation! 😄 I do better with 1:1 but may need coaching with presentation. Everyone needs to identify their communication style.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
My problem is with a man who doesn't want to address the conflict. One who wants to sweep it all under the carpet and forget. If he's ables to able to, why can't I just let it go? He asks. Some things are big deals I think. I tried writing but the response was hmmm
Thank you, great insight!
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
Great topics Stephan thanks
❤️ 🙂 Thank you for watching. I appreciate your feedback!
This was very helpful, thank you.🙏🏼
I can't be myself when I am with my husband. I am not happy with him anymore. I don't see my future with him. His presence annoys me. We don't communicate properly. He has the tendency to get mad easily and raise his voice if he disagrees with my opinion and decisions. Several instances in which I felt disrespected. I don't feel valued. I cannot talk to him about the future plans. So many red flags. So, I decided to leave him 6 months ago. Now, my life is way happier and more relaxed. It wasn't an easy decision because we have an 8-year-old daughter but I have to coz I don't want my daughter to grow up seeing me miserable with his father. Now, me and my daughter are very happy and living in peace.
God knows you deserve better!
Ty Stephen Speaks gb.
My pleasure ❤️
Mmh this is a hard message, but you're right... walking away is tuff really tuff!
I feel you, it definitely isn't an easy situation, but the focus needs to be on doing what is truly best 🙏
I've been moving forward
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
I love having the letter for another person to look at and refer back to and understand what you're talking about. This way you know exactly what you said and what you did not say or what you did not mean. The letter becomes a point of discussion and a guideline for the future discussions and negotiations or assessments. It's really hard to respond 2 terrible news in person and behave properly. I don't think it's necessary to put either one of you through that now that social media is acceptable. But you must follow up with a phone call at least an opportunity to listen and let them work through the difference is between where they were heading and what the reality is.
I have four kids. and I learned with a couple of them, and with me, that it was far better to break the bad news to them over text first and let them have their emotional reaction as they choose. Then ALWAYS follow up a little later in the day with a PERSONAL phone call to allow them to respond and begin a conversation that starts with listening. Then explaining and adjusting their understanding because of their past wounds. Be a best friend. The best you can. Some people won't allow it and that likely means you would never work things through anyway. Set them free to learn another day. Far Better than not dealing with it at all and running away and adding to the devastation and shock of the change.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I appreciate hearing from you ❤
Some people are just so immature and can’t see their own faults so what Is a spouse suppose to do ? Like a broken piece of Chins some things just can’t be fixed !
If he's too immature for you, do this 👉 th-cam.com/video/VX-cD4_1E_g/w-d-xo.html
Thank you, Stephan!
Good advice
❤️😊 thank you!
Super powerful video!🙏🏾
❤️ 🙂 Thank you!
Moving on is a faith journey. I have faith in God.
This guy can't make up his mind on committing. I told him I'll give him one more year. And then if he decides not to be serious I asked him to introduce me to someone who will!
Wow this makes so much sense.
Glad to hear that. Don't forget to share so that others can receive love, healing, and clarity ❤ 🙏
For some people even "addressing" something, means the relationship is over. In their mind, "If I have to address it it's done because I don't want to address it, I don't want to be in that situation.'
Thank you for this video!🙏🏽❤️
WALKING AWAY, NO CONTACT IS HORRIBLE BUT NECCESSARY. IT IS MAKES YOU CRAZY. AN ACHE THAT DOES NOT GO AWAY QUICKLY ENOUGH. GOTTA SIT WITH THAT PAIN. DONT DO IT ALONE, TALK TO SOMEONE.
Yes I think I had a little more going on than he does and he took that as me not making progress to his standard, so he broke it off and I felt like he didnt give it a fair shot. Its not like I wasnt making any progress and he was never satisfied with it. I dont understand because we were reading "how to do the work" and I dont think he read the book or he took certain parts but didnt apply other things, so he ended it.
This is good info
I totally agree about giving anyone 100 trust, however your better than me. My percentages is 10% for human nature and imperfection.
My eyes have been opened. From all the BS.
Glad I could help 🙏
@@MeetStephanSpeaks your videos really helps me alot, certain things i never knew before i know now. It really helping me to make better choices.
5/5… I guess we are done. 💔
Mr Stephen, thank you for your insight sir💫 🙏 p.s. please leave the salt and pepper in your beard alone lol ❤😊
This video was recommended at exactly 5:55 the way GOD works I'm telling you ❤
What if a situation has been addressed, the other person does work on the issue, makes good progress but the issue does return, and then the individual continues to make progress, but if the issue keeps coming up they are still being treated as "you did wrong." It could mean it's just part of their character no matter how hard they want to change. Does that make them a bad person?
Bless you and your lovely family AMIN. NAMASTE.
firstt, love your content🩷🩷🩷
❤️ 🙂 Thank you!
This is about a breakup🥺💔
I want an honest answer to this🥺, Someone should please talk to me🥺🥺🥺
What if I am the major cause of him breaking up? Many of our issues stem from my unhealed traumas and it took me so long to realize, I hadn’t really wholeheartedly loved him, I didn’t even know until I uncover the root cause. He loved me so deeply and would always come back, I thought I did but I haven’t been loving him the way I should. We had a lot of issues but we were always willing to work it out.
Now, when I just got to the root cause of my trauma, and taking necessary actions to get better, I am now capable of fully letting go and becoming very vulnerable with him, now he no longer want the relationship🥺💔.
I really want him to see how much I am willing to evolve, willing to become better, now he said it’s too late, it’s been a long time, it’s been 4 years, I had been loving out of my wounds, I really want him to witness this. He said he realized he does not love himself by sticking with me all this while🥺💔💔 All my actions were never intentional🥺, I was always willing to be better at every point in our relationship, even I didn’t realize how deeply wounded I have been.🥺🥺😭😭
Please someone should talk to me, is there any possibility of him coming back? Or it’s never going to happen again?
Awh. Let him go. If you want to find authentic love... keep true to discovering your self. Keep rising up. Don't look back. And yes, you will sometimes feel like you don't know where on earth you are going. Just keep your eye on living each day in love. And one day you will experience a relationship with someone else that is walking the same path.
Hi Stephan, how can I prevent now with not getting into a relationship or marriage with someone who will outgrow me intellectually, spiritually, emotionally etc. or vice versa?
I'm not Stephan, but by continuing to improve yourself in all areas and encouraging the other person to do the same, you don't need to worry. There is no sitting on laurels in the relationship that is supposed to last forever.
What if you have everything but he can’t be committed right now. That lack of commitment led to anxious thoughts but it never occurred. I’m hoping he comes back ready because it was so amazing in the beginning, and then we made a few mistakes along the way, but then he realized he can’t be committed right now, we were together a year. He was truly like the most amazing man I’ve ever met. We have love connection maybe less trust cuz of not knowing what he wanted. But we had loyalty love connection chemistry. It all, he is a man of God but doesn’t know what is Gods calling for his life so it’s hard.
You seem a little under the weather. Hope you feel better soon.
❤ 🙂
❤❤❤❤ wisdom 🙏💯🕊️🕊️
My partner wants to live separately after two years and keep the relationship and I don’t want to.
Amen been there
😮 I s Better Help on face to face online.?? ❤Thank you Stephen for all you do to Help people. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙋🏻♀️
I needed to hear this. Thank you.
My pleasure ❤️
What if he won’t read my emails or messages?? He just shuts down and blames me for his shortcomings. He’s disrespectful I pay all the bills I’m just over it all
It’s hard when this is the case and you’re married.
What about if your spouse has an emotional affair and when trying to see if ut can be worked out, he blames you for it
#6 when you search for videos to confirm your thoughts.
Sir what is your take on the situation where he shows care and is helpful and consistent but doesn't want to be in a relationship and just breakup with you but stay friends. What is the solution here?
DO YOU BELEIVE that staying friends with ex can help you show them that you have changed and rekindle everything
Sometimes; it's best to just take a "break"! If you don't, it could make things worse! My "situationship" ended tonight! I didn't even know that was what I was in... I kept misunderstanding things and the communication was terrible. I stayed calm and kept asking questions. He's finally acting appropriately for himself. Super easy to understand. I just hope he will be okay. Super Co-dependent and I will worry for a while but I finally have peace. FRIENDSHIP might be possible later but not now... It might take years... hang in there. Be a friend to yourself IMHO
Our situation is complicated his company is in nyc I live in south nj. He is considering bringing his company to nj to be with me, but the other investors may ask him to move back to NY as he is the CEO. I have restrictions to move out because I share custody with my ex and I have to be in a commutable distance for the kids we are deeply in love with each other but our circumstances are so complicated that I don’t know if we should continue with it.
Deferred hope is a disaster and will only break your heart and waste your time!!
They love to do this to you.
what about these online bf of mine, we were in 2 months relationship, things were perfect. and he was supposed to see me in my country, last message was he was asking me to scout for condo/ apartment as he is staying for around 6 months months, and after these, scouting, he suddenly did not communicate, no his no message. its been nearly a wk and.half. i dont know if he changed his plan or if he is alive and well, bec part of his job is in oil ridge. very risky as said..oh my it hurts me a lot if why he did that to me
Well I tried better help they never responded back so I guess that's not the way for me😊
Also, is "progress" defined as all or nothing?. So if I ask someone to stop calling my phone after 10pm does that need to be always, in all occasions, at all times? Or only for let's say 3 months.
Hey can someone pls suggest what to say to him when he thanks me for caring for him that I made dinner IE. I was 18 years with one man and do not know how to react for this kind words in not a „mummy” way 😱
Amen!
When you send a letter.some times they let too many 0ther people read it
What are you suppose to do when all these issues are issues, but youve been with the person for 15+ years?
Audio low.
5 Signs Your Relationship Is Over
1) The issues have been addressed, and no progress has been made.
2) You can't be yourself with them.
3) Consistent unhealthy/abusive communication.
4) You have different values and want different things.
5) There is no trust.
Bonus: There is no connection.
❤️🌼
Regardless of gender never, ever take a cheater back.
My boyfriend of almost one year. We got in a argument about the A/C. I told him he was being selfish because I didn’t want to be cold and he said fine and changed it back saying you know Fuck you twice. Then got in my face and said are you happy now. I don’t know if I should break it off or not. I don’t want to be alone but I think it’s more of a attachment feeling for me. If I stay will it let him think it’s okay to disrespect me? Should I give him another chance?
You were being selfish and thinking about you. If your cold use a blanket or put the a/c at a temp that is also comfortable to him.
How about alcoholism? That is what is killing my relationship. How long do i hang on with promises of him quitting or slowing down, because honestly, the promise of change that never comes after 11 years is weighing me down BADLY. Im starting to hate him, and that scares me because when he's not drinking, i love being around him (connection). When he has alcohol i dislike him more with every cocktail he drinks. My window of him being sober gets smaller and smaller. His mouth gets disgusting and ignorant with each drink, and in 11 years, i can count on 1 hand the days he didn't drink. I no longer can have a drink because I feel likeit'ss giving him my blessing to go ahead and pop another. He used to be physically violent, but that has not happened in over a year. I guess i consider that progress. Saying that outloud makes me cringe, like woo hoo, you didn't hit your gf today!!! That is not a cause for celebration, I get that.
The part of me that thinks its not going to work doesn't know how to get away anyway.
So, is alcoholism adeal breaker?
@shannonnauer3367 As far as I know, alcoholism is not a universal deal breaker, nor is it required to be. I think it just depends on what each person can, or wants to, put up with. For me, I don't even want to date an occasional or social drinker unless I feel the Holy Spirit telling me to look past it or settle for it. I just don't feel peace about the alcohol realm.
@JStig12 yes, I think I finally am about to draw my line in the sand. I don't want to live like this. Always walking on eggshells, waiting to see the mood he's in. Mental abuse, especially overtime, I think, for me is worse than the physical. Although I've not had any e.r. visits for well over 2 years.