I’ve found that most people claim that beautiful women don’t have that inner beauty , but when men realize they met a beautiful woman inside AND out, they get even more freaked out and back away..: if you were a late bloomer and perfected your personality before your looks you’re even more screwed in dating scene
Being a pretty black female is life on HARD mode simply because people constantly feel the need to “humble” you. You can be the sweetest person but once you stick up for yourself their fangs come out & you are demonized.
I also heard that pretty people have problems dating because people just wanna try them out because of the way they look. They don’t actually take them seriously
Pretty people are often used. Often people don't care about their interest and opinions, and deem it faked or attention seeking. People just love how they look to others when a pretty person is beside them. And once they find someone "better", they'll just discard them. Theyre gonna go with the, " Im the one that left you so Im the one with more value"
This is their insecurity projection. Or your inner thoughts reflecting back to you by the other person. I've heard this exact comment from a man, who turned out to be an abusive alcoholic so there's that. Don't take it personal take it as a compliment you didn't settle for the crumbs.
Or ppl assume you’re in a relationship. I’ve gotten that before and it still baffles me. Like dang now I think how am I ever gone find someone if everyone thinks oh she must be taken already or don’t even believe I’m single 😅😔
Wow. Depressing. I am 6'3" female and told I am very attractive. Men just don't approach me at all. I have been single for years. What the hell do I have to do to get a date??
This notion that less attractive men will always treat you better is simply not true. Just for you to end up with a man that was putting on an act and he’s not much to look at. I’m good. 😂
I always tell my friends not to date ugly men because if they screw you over you will beat yourself up over giving an ugly guy a chance to do it in the first place 🤣🤣🤣
Omg! Thank you so much for explaining this dilemma. I've had multiple relationships with "mid ugly men" lol, who have always felt like I was their competition when I am complimented. Which led to other problems, smh. I have had people tell me that I was too attractive for the guy and I could do better. However, I am a sapeosexual, which speaks to my choice in mid-ugly men. But, the attractive men also feel like they are in competition and feel like they are the prize 😩. It also doesn't help being a black woman with a high level degree. Lawd, I just want to be happy. 😂
I tried all of this and I've decided that I will never drop my physical standards for a man. I've been treated too poorly for too long by every type of man who exists. At this point I am only going to look at an 8/10 minimum, and he has to have money as well. Otherwise it's makes more sense to just stay single and enjoy my life free from some guy's insecurities and projections, only for him to cheat on me with a 6/10 anyway.
YUPPPP SCREAM THAT SHIT FEOM THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS. I’m not lowering my standards idc how long I’ll be single 22 yrs and running 🤷🏾♀️. I’m sorry but if I don’t find u attractive I won’t give u the best outta a relationship. I’ll be disgusted and I wish I wasn’t like that but it’s the truth.
I used to be fifty pounds overweight. But was always pretty facially. Anyway I lost the weight and look great now. I expected my bf to be super happy but he started acting really bizarre during my weight loss. Stopped complimenting my looks right around the point other men really started to because I was looking better, starting being mean, almost competitive. All he could do was find fault with me so I had to dump him. I know he has security issues and he always seemed uncomfortable about the newfound attention I was getting from men. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. 🤷🏽♀️
That’s because your pretty face now has a body to match and he thinks you may leave. If he can tear you down emotionally; he thinks you will stay. These are just my thoughts…I am not a professional by any means.
Why are so many men exhibiting such toxic feminine traits : jalousy, competition. Not that men don't get jealous or competitive, but with other guys! Not women, let alone their very own. Imagine me getting jealous of my guy's 6 packs? 🙄🙄 make it make sense 🤷♂️🤷♂️A healthy man never feels endangered by a woman's beauty. It attracts him, seduces him and inflates his ego as a man. I used to date this very handsome guy in college, who used to convinced me to go out with him on a date when I didn't really feel like it, just by telling me:" you don't want my buddies to see how cute and sexy my girlfriend is"? 😂😂 that always worked no matter how unmotivated I was to go out. Wished they were still more guys like him around
Happens with "friend"groups too. Some women are friends to feel better about themselves, when one is changing (doesn't even have to be weight loss, could be a change of clothing style or higher self esteem) and the usually "unpopular'' friend starts to get more and more attention, some peoples true colors show up and they show, how they wanted the benefit of feeling superior.
All the guys I've been with said I was out of their league and they were insecure and acted like jerks. Men either act insecure or unhinged so I don't see the point in dealing with them.
A lot of men I date think I’m talking to multiple men. They’re skeptical of everything I do. If my phone rings, they think it must be someone else I’m talking to and they’re not telling them.
I'm a very attractive woman, very successful, independent, 6 figure income, no kids, and the kindest person you'll ever meet. I cure people for a living. I never get compliments outside from my patients, and men would rather stare at me than talk. It sounds cliche, but, yes, being very attractive in dating is hard when you want a serious relationship. I find average women and less successful women have better success. So, it's annoying when people assume dating is easy when you're attractive. It's easier to get laid. That's it. But everyone acts shocked that you're smart. One guy friend did tell me, men would rather date the bar sl/ts than me, because you can tell I have standards and that's intimidating. But outside of dating, yes....being pretty does make the rest of life easier. Love is just near impossible. We all have our challenges.
You are so correct. We must compliment ourselves, and just find our own happiness. I’m very similar and find I’m tired of proving I’m loyal, pretty, feminine and a great catch. When and if God send him then cool. Until then Queen, straighten your crown and strut into this thing called life!!
A 4-6 guy will ALWAYS aim higher - what have they got to lose? They'll have them on a pedestal and if the woman shows any kink or that they are insecure, this 4-6 guy will go out their way to bring insecurity to that woman and gv them the mindset that they are lucky to be w them😩😢
Men literally talk about wanting attractive women. After hearing him complain again and again, now say the poor woman works and becomes attractive. Now he hates her for being attractive. The world doesn't revolve around a guys mood swings and changes in preferences, they forget it sometimes I swear lol
When I healed my old trauma I found myself dating and falling in love with a very attractive man who I would’ve probably passed on back in the day. So grateful for healing 🙏🏽
Not completely true. Just because someone is beautiful and intelligent, don't mean their emotional quotient is low. It's not. It's just most guys feel intimidated with your presence, specifically if you've worked on yourself and know your worth, that takes emotional maturity to work on yourself. The right will know you're the one. You don't need insecure people in life who is looking for someone below them to feel superior or superficially Judgemental. You are worth waiting girl, the right one is around the corner and see you and value you for who you are
I had a man tell me to my face “I always wondered what it would be like to be with you”. He ended up falling in love with me, not believing I loved him back although I was head over heels, and ultimately we ended it. He would play games and tell me awful things like I have to have two girlfriends or stroke his ego on reminding me of how many people think he’s so handsome. It was a pain, felt like some kind of competition he was in with me.
His actions make me think he didn't fall in love and kept his guard up bc he had only one motive... To say he got to be with you. I've heard the same from men but what really gets me is being gas lit by men knowing full well I'm not a 10 anymore I'm probably a 7 but being gaslit that I'm a 10.... It's too funny
😂 It means you need to move in different circles, and hang out in places where there are no "old dusty men". Stay away from the dominoes clubs, betting shops, and rum conventions 😅
There are so many people out here with unhealed childhood trauma that they will sabotage any option you put in front of them. They will find fault in anybody and repeat that same attachment pattern until they leave this earth.
Very true what you say. My less attractive friends would get hit on more as men were afraid to approach me. Once in the circle, they’d find themselves more comfortable revealing their interest was actually in me. This dynamic created waves with my girlfriends. Interesting is, I was the friendlier and funnier one in my group of girlfriends. But I on the other hand really do prefer less attractive men to most women. They tend to be more focused on the quality of both mine and their character. They appear more sincere and eager to please me.
It's crazy that women who are below 7 are so jealous of 8 9 10 when in reality they have it easier. I've been trying to tell people this for a long time
Its true. Being attractive is not the life people think it is. Its alienating. Even if your emotionslly intelligent, funny etc, the more stacked - the more alienated.
So true!! No one, literally no one was ever interested in me as a person, wanted to know who I am. They would lie and pretend in order to get close to me with zero intent to commit. I didn’t have a father figure and had a hard awakening when I fell pregnant and got discarded. Which was the best thing that could have happened to me. I leveled up on so many levels and now revel in the love that both God and my daughter show me. Crazy thing: 3+ years in I met someone at Bible studies who’s become an amazing friend to me and it’s so wonderful to finally have a man in my life on a platonic level who loves me, cares about me and prays for/with me and vice versa. Only focus on God!! ❤
Every man I dated was not on my level looks wise and outside of my highschool boyfriend (who was such a sweetheart) they all got very insecure the minute I gave them a chance. One man who wanted me to be his wife always blamed me for the attention I was getting and men approaching me, like lol! It wasn’t until I met my husband who was on my level looks wise that all the bs stopped. I still get attention and compliments, but I don’t get blamed for trying attract attention, because that’s not my vibe as an introvert. My husband knows that and he loves seeing me enjoy my beauty. And if we’re together, these men go and compliment him on my beauty.
I once cried from coming home from a date because I had walked into 7-11 with my date and I was wearing a tube top . And men were staring . I ignored as I always do because I’m an introvert I keep to myself majority of the time. As we are walking out my date says “ every man was staring at you “ like blaming me because I wore a tube top ? It just shows the shoulders? I ended the night and said “ you know that was really mean I didn’t do anything and your blaming me for my beauty I can’t help that your projecting youre thoughts onto me” he wasn’t attractive at all and I thought I’d give him a chance. Worst decision ever. I haven’t dated in a year. Trying to fix my self esteem
@@ysl23addidasq I’m sorry you had to experience this and people who can’t relate won’t understand how these men pursue you then switch up and get nasty once they realize they can’t keep you. Men say they want a beautiful or attractive woman until they realize what that entails in terms of the looks, compliments, and advances of other men. If a man is blaming you for the actions of men because of your beauty, he’s a loser who’s realizing that he can’t handle being with a desirable woman. I mean, the same goes with women. If a woman wants a desirable man, she’s going to need to be able to handle other women trying to steal him from her. Funny though, women rarely blame men unless he’s cheating. Whereas insecure men that show their true colors when their girl simply gets complimented or gets attention. I find these types of men stupid because they want beautiful women for the clout and jealousy from other men, but get mad when men give her attention. Lmao, you can’t take these kinds of men seriously. Remember this and vet properly! I wish you all the healing and confidence. Don’t hide yourself nor your beauty from the world because of these losers (and jealous loser women as well). I speak from experience!
I dated some men on bumble and some were much less attractive than me the lower in attractiveness the faster they sabotaged the relationship. I ended up having to only date very attractive to get reapectful treatment
Physical attraction is very important to me and in my experience I don’t come across a lot of men that I consider attractive. It’s quite rare that I even have a crush besides some celebrity on tv 😢 I did fall deeply in love with a lucky 7 before though but still haven’t had a crush in a while
This is my same deal. Never attracted to anyone physically. For the past 10 years, only one man has caught my eye and held it. And yes, he's on tv lol.
lol, I started to think I was ugly 😂😂😂😂 because it’s hard for me and I don’t approach. And everything he said was true. But don’t date ugly! Because they have the most audacity and will treat you the worse, I know through experience.
I had this revelation a few years ago. Beautiful, gorgeous, pretty women ect have it the worst. If woman is just okay or considered “not attractive” men who approach are doing it because they still genuinely interested. Women who are more attractive get played the most by men. Because they are solely after her looks not necessarily her internal and that is the problem
I’ve got to disagree with the part about why beautiful women date ugly men. I think it has a lot to do with confidence and self worth. Everybody likes to feel good and naturally will end up liking the person that makes the feel good the most. And it’s “safe” because they don’t come with fan clubs. Nobody wants other women in their man’s face. Dating a mid guy is a confidence booster because they’re constantly reassuring you and glad to be with you
All jokes aside, i love this PIE formula and the overall idea you promote of not focusing so much on optics, like what you said about boss chicks not looking for the power couple alpha but more awkward shy guys
I have gotten to the point where I'm not focusing too much on looks anymore. As long as he is decent and has a good heart. I have been scorned too many times. Beauty fades but a good heart lasts forever.❤
That is not true.. women also date down.. an immature guy who gets one girl out of his league will think he has a chance with every woman out there. We are the prizes but rarely we are treated right
i've had that too. that was kinda painful when it happened. i didn't know that's what it was, so i thought it was me. in my mind, the right thing to do was walk away, and i did ... but he kept pursuing. i learned it was performance anxiety. he talked a lot, and would say things like, "i'm so nervous", and so on. had he not said anything, i would've never put 2 & 2 together.
So true. i have a female friend who later took hormones to be a man. Now he define himself as pansexual. But the thing is he once said to me that 'if I saw you on dating app I would swipe left. Why? Because you're too pretty for me' 😅 And so many times I was asked why I was still single 🤦
I’m interested in how women rate themselves compared to how you or the general society of hetero men rate them. Not because rating is empirically correct but because prettiness is an undeniably outsized factor. Kimberly at For Harriet has a great video segment about how we’ve made it bad or unacceptable to not be as pretty as possible or that some women no matter what they do will never be a 7/8/9/10. The reality is that to be a 9 means statistically that if you are watching this video, it doesn’t apply to you (or me) and that’s ok! Some folks are the 5/6/7s catching the 9 men and that’s your takeaway!
Men have to stop pushing this notion that less pretty women give up sex more quickly … cus what happens is y’all make it dangerous for average women because super attractive men really believe the less attractive woman is easier and they become dangerous to her when she says no goes against his ego . I’ve seen it. A less hott women does not mean easier to get sex from easy sex is only based on that person’s personal choice.
I’m sorry, but as a beautiful woman, I can’t date unattractive men anymore. They are the most dangerous. They start off good but the insecurity gets to them. I’ve had men start berating me and picking on me in an effort to make me feel bad about myself. I’ve learned that he has to be pretty attractive too
not really. ugly women have the hardest time and even when we do have someone it is because he is biding his time and waiting till he can get the woman of his dream
Dorothy Dandridge talked about beauty being a double edged sword. She’s right. You damned if you do and damed if you don’t in a sense. When you’re beautiful men just want to posses you, they don’t care about you or treat you better at all.
true, they'll treat it like a doormat, sleep around with some other women on the side & demand 50/50 cuz he aint paying for that pussy till he can finally afford his dream woman
@@MeMyself984I write this message as a reminder that all men see us as objects anyways (literally. Confirmed by brain scans). Pick men that work for you, I guess, is the take away.
0:30 I completely disagree with this. For the most part people tend to date around their own attractiveness level. That’s based on both anecdote (my own experiences) and research. The rest of this is just my opinion and observations - I actually think women in general are more likely than men to date someone significantly less attractive than them, and men are more likely to go for women who are significantly out of their league.
In traditional days eveyone knew were they stood . Women made an effort to look attractive and men made an effort to be a gentleman and would play the dating game of persuing a women successfuly. People were not fussy and we didn't have porn so men didn't look for situationships to hook up and leave .
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!! Who cares what a man wants, focus on what you want. But I find you definitely have to find someone that matches your fly, that’s the hard part. More people than not lack confidence, and the tools to maintain a relationship of any kind.
I think women tend to be more beautiful than men. Even women who are categorized as “mid” tend to be more attractive than “mid” male counterparts. A woman’s 5 is definitely a man’s 8.
@@MyAccountForCommenting I also feel like people who look average/ have an average life are the happiest because they know how to be content. Good-looking people have unrealistically high standards that can’t be met, because they have lived their lives on “easy mode” thanks to their looks and won’t settle for less when it comes to their partner.
Pretry women who have standards have it worse because they are holding onto their standards while dating in a time men expect you to pay half, court them, and they have other beautiful women because they go after the top shelf men who have it going on but are in feminine energy.
From my experience, ive noticed that these people who are deemed the best looking by society standards tend to make that their personalities and they have nothing else to offer. They also tend to think they are gods gift to humanity. They also only want someone who also matches their level of attraction. When you bring 2 of these people together, neither are level headed and both think they are gods gift to humanity, you will have problems
Omg! 😅 so much to dissect ! I wonder if , because, dating has and is getting harder and harder, if most people in the future will stay single.. I’m not anything near the “ beauty - range- standard ” and yet I’m like “ damn… it’s hard for everyone “ 😅
I need some advice-the only dates I’ve been on have been from me initiating something with a man. All nice men, but it would become clear that they weren’t interested, leading to break ups, even ghosting. In a few of the cases, there were other women that they were dating at the same time and were more interested in. It felt as though me being the initiator bled into the overall dynamic of the ‘relationship’ where I found myself inquiring about dates, etc…just overall not seeing any initiative being taken on the man’s part. Based on these past experiences, I just don’t think men like or want to get to know me as a person, beyond appearances. I’m more of a reserved/conservative personality, which I know can present more boring to those who don’t get a chance to truly know me. Even growing up in school, I was used to being overlooked, but I remain thankful for that because the quality of the friends I have in my life now is so high. I hope for the same outcome for my marriage. All that to say, what are some additional techniques I can incorporate into my daily life that would help encourage others to give me a chance??
To all the beautiful women out there, don’t listen to this man. He is simply lowering the bar for men. If you’re beautiful, if you’re pretty, have standards, enforce those standards, and be OK with being alone because if you can’t spend time alone you’re really not that high quality of a woman.
The “mid ugly” guys are often the ones with the absolute most audacity. I’ve come to the conclusion you can’t win out here so imma just focus on myself until I croak lol
Try being a pretty woman that’s 5’8 no man wants to approach me!! 😢 I believe I look very intimidating, but I promise I’m really a sweet girl when you get to know me. It sucks.
If we all closed our eyes and listened to the other person, you would see the real person for what they really are. Looks are fleeting, but they're true character will reveal itself.❤
Im what people see as Highly Attractive and Most fear because i have high intellect ... ive Always dated Attractive Men ... with Amazing Emotional quotient ... even if sometimes feel im Smarter than them ... there still smart enough that i dont feel its a compromise 😊
Genuinely asking: how do you find these beautiful and intelligent men? And how do you end up with them? I always (no, not always, but often) attract 5-6 level men that may be intelligent , but emotionally they’re a zero! All and all, they think they’re the sh!t.
Beautiful women have to simply be direct and take control, you 2ould be surprised at how many men alike that, the problem is women still having the damsel complex. Men hate rejection, so simply being direct stomps that out, what men want most is to know they are wanted and dont have to worry.
I feel like when guys see me the problem is they only focus on my looks. And I want to just bond a little bit because I have a personality and a good heart. And I wish they would give me the chance to hear me speak just before judging me by my looks.
Wow that’s crazy. You’d think guys would like beautiful women. 🤷♀️ Pretty effed up world we live in. That’s like saying you’d prefer a Nissan when you could have a Bentley or a Mercedes at the same expense.
I’ve found that most people claim that beautiful women don’t have that inner beauty , but when men realize they met a beautiful woman inside AND out, they get even more freaked out and back away..: if you were a late bloomer and perfected your personality before your looks you’re even more screwed in dating scene
Me!
And the crusty ones become even more hostile when you're both! 😂
Yes but the male version of these women also exist - the late bloomer athlete scholar? They can get them
They are too busy chasing young girls. To make up for what they missed.@@nannaed7833
That would be me. It sucks.
Being a pretty black female is life on HARD mode simply because people constantly feel the need to “humble” you. You can be the sweetest person but once you stick up for yourself their fangs come out & you are demonized.
@alicekat11👈🏿 Sooo True!
You nailed it. They will call you stuck up and mean and that just isn’t true. They hate when you have confidence.
YES!
I can see that. You should be "easy access" for them to exploit and extract
This!!!
I also heard that pretty people have problems dating because people just wanna try them out because of the way they look. They don’t actually take them seriously
Pretty people are often used. Often people don't care about their interest and opinions, and deem it faked or attention seeking. People just love how they look to others when a pretty person is beside them. And once they find someone "better", they'll just discard them. Theyre gonna go with the, " Im the one that left you so Im the one with more value"
You heard right
You got that right. Guys like to hang with you for status and to look good, while they might not even like you as a person 🤷🏿♀️…
@@xv900 Sad Truth
Unfortunately it happened to me
Yup!
Doesn’t help either when the men question why she’s been single for so long.
This is their insecurity projection. Or your inner thoughts reflecting back to you by the other person. I've heard this exact comment from a man, who turned out to be an abusive alcoholic so there's that. Don't take it personal take it as a compliment you didn't settle for the crumbs.
Or ppl assume you’re in a relationship. I’ve gotten that before and it still baffles me. Like dang now I think how am I ever gone find someone if everyone thinks oh she must be taken already or don’t even believe I’m single 😅😔
Wow. Depressing. I am 6'3" female and told I am very attractive. Men just don't approach me at all. I have been single for years. What the hell do I have to do to get a date??
They usually weren’t single but had issues with men
So true
This notion that less attractive men will always treat you better is simply not true. Just for you to end up with a man that was putting on an act and he’s not much to look at. I’m good. 😂
Ikr, if he is not as hot as I am, he better be rich
@@robotnitchka Girl, I need both, The Looks AND Dah Money
@@MeiMariieyeh go visit lalala land ...a place that caters for all
I always tell my friends not to date ugly men because if they screw you over you will beat yourself up over giving an ugly guy a chance to do it in the first place 🤣🤣🤣
@@MeiMariie yess😭🙏
Omg! Thank you so much for explaining this dilemma. I've had multiple relationships with "mid ugly men" lol, who have always felt like I was their competition when I am complimented. Which led to other problems, smh. I have had people tell me that I was too attractive for the guy and I could do better. However, I am a sapeosexual, which speaks to my choice in mid-ugly men. But, the attractive men also feel like they are in competition and feel like they are the prize 😩. It also doesn't help being a black woman with a high level degree. Lawd, I just want to be happy. 😂
I’m floating in the same boat lol!! 😂
@@radientmindsetsubs😂 I feel your pain sis. But our fairy god brother is going to get US RIGGHHHHTTT 🙌🏽
@@and93077out of 10...yes.
If you want to be happy, be single and practice self love.
I feel like I wrote this. Girl are we out here twinning? ❤ wishing you the best ❤
I tried all of this and I've decided that I will never drop my physical standards for a man. I've been treated too poorly for too long by every type of man who exists. At this point I am only going to look at an 8/10 minimum, and he has to have money as well. Otherwise it's makes more sense to just stay single and enjoy my life free from some guy's insecurities and projections, only for him to cheat on me with a 6/10 anyway.
👏👏👏💪💪💪
Glad someone else gets it
My entire thought process🎉🎉🎉🎉
Yaaaassss 👏👏👏
YUPPPP SCREAM THAT SHIT FEOM THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS. I’m not lowering my standards idc how long I’ll be single 22 yrs and running 🤷🏾♀️. I’m sorry but if I don’t find u attractive I won’t give u the best outta a relationship. I’ll be disgusted and I wish I wasn’t like that but it’s the truth.
OMG...if its not the men its the jealous/ridiculous friends salting you down behind your back.
That Part!!
This part 💯
Seriously tho
Try being pretty, introverted, dislikes drama, hate clubbing, low key, stay out the way! 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
This is me lol!!!😂😂😢😢
Me too! 😂
Lol 😆 I feel your pain 😂
I swear you just described me, and I don't do social media!
We are soul sisters. It’s a gift and curse!!
I used to be fifty pounds overweight. But was always pretty facially. Anyway I lost the weight and look great now. I expected my bf to be super happy but he started acting really bizarre during my weight loss. Stopped complimenting my looks right around the point other men really started to because I was looking better, starting being mean, almost competitive. All he could do was find fault with me so I had to dump him. I know he has security issues and he always seemed uncomfortable about the newfound attention I was getting from men. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. 🤷🏽♀️
That’s because your pretty face now has a body to match and he thinks you may leave. If he can tear you down emotionally; he thinks you will stay. These are just my thoughts…I am not a professional by any means.
Why are so many men exhibiting such toxic feminine traits : jalousy, competition. Not that men don't get jealous or competitive, but with other guys! Not women, let alone their very own. Imagine me getting jealous of my guy's 6 packs? 🙄🙄 make it make sense 🤷♂️🤷♂️A
healthy man never feels endangered by a woman's beauty. It attracts him, seduces him and inflates his ego as a man. I used to date this very handsome guy in college, who used to convinced me to go out with him on a date when I didn't really feel like it, just by telling me:" you don't want my buddies to see how cute and sexy my girlfriend is"? 😂😂 that always worked no matter how unmotivated I was to go out.
Wished they were still more guys like him around
Glad you got rid of him.
Happens with "friend"groups too. Some women are friends to feel better about themselves, when one is changing (doesn't even have to be weight loss, could be a change of clothing style or higher self esteem) and the usually "unpopular'' friend starts to get more and more attention, some peoples true colors show up and they show, how they wanted the benefit of feeling superior.
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
All the guys I've been with said I was out of their league and they were insecure and acted like jerks. Men either act insecure or unhinged so I don't see the point in dealing with them.
preach
A lot of men I date think I’m talking to multiple men. They’re skeptical of everything I do. If my phone rings, they think it must be someone else I’m talking to and they’re not telling them.
Same and I ain’t talking to no one!
Definitely this. It’s annoying and insulting honestly.
I can attest to your statement..
I can also attest .
Me too!! I don’t have time to talk to multiple people and wouldn’t want too, I’m in grad school and work full time, life is already stressful enough 😆
I'm a very attractive woman, very successful, independent, 6 figure income, no kids, and the kindest person you'll ever meet. I cure people for a living. I never get compliments outside from my patients, and men would rather stare at me than talk. It sounds cliche, but, yes, being very attractive in dating is hard when you want a serious relationship. I find average women and less successful women have better success. So, it's annoying when people assume dating is easy when you're attractive. It's easier to get laid. That's it. But everyone acts shocked that you're smart. One guy friend did tell me, men would rather date the bar sl/ts than me, because you can tell I have standards and that's intimidating. But outside of dating, yes....being pretty does make the rest of life easier. Love is just near impossible. We all have our challenges.
I think if us pretty ladies are any kind of bi we should just dote and love on each other 🤷🏾♀️ Get at me Ms. Quinn 😉
-From the cute techie
You are so correct. We must compliment ourselves, and just find our own happiness. I’m very similar and find I’m tired of proving I’m loyal, pretty, feminine and a great catch. When and if God send him then cool. Until then Queen, straighten your crown and strut into this thing called life!!
Yes!
Being beautiful is a blessing and a curse at the same time.
For the most part a blessing. Beauty is a tool in life❤
Omg!!! All the times I've said this in my head 😔
Why is it a curse? Just wondering.
Yes I’m definitely starting to believe this now.
A 4-6 guy will ALWAYS aim higher - what have they got to lose?
They'll have them on a pedestal and if the woman shows any kink or that they are insecure, this 4-6 guy will go out their way to bring insecurity to that woman and gv them the mindset that they are lucky to be w them😩😢
A research said that a woman date higher and Man date lower. That's why man go for women lower than them . Nothing to do with insecurity
Men literally talk about wanting attractive women. After hearing him complain again and again, now say the poor woman works and becomes attractive. Now he hates her for being attractive.
The world doesn't revolve around a guys mood swings and changes in preferences, they forget it sometimes I swear lol
This is the equivalent of men talking about being rich instead of…starting a business. They don’t have what it takes.
Add if you’re super confident in your natural beauty, your deck is stacked 🤦🏾♀️
When I healed my old trauma I found myself dating and falling in love with a very attractive man who I would’ve probably passed on back in the day. So grateful for healing 🙏🏽
Girl, I wanna hear fhe back story, like how did you guys meet, how did your man approached you., did you know he's himself secure man as well?
Not completely true. Just because someone is beautiful and intelligent, don't mean their emotional quotient is low. It's not. It's just most guys feel intimidated with your presence, specifically if you've worked on yourself and know your worth, that takes emotional maturity to work on yourself. The right will know you're the one. You don't need insecure people in life who is looking for someone below them to feel superior or superficially Judgemental. You are worth waiting girl, the right one is around the corner and see you and value you for who you are
And don’t be pretty AND bodied up!
What does this mean,,
@@Celestials1aurorasimply put facially pretty + a great body that's in shape
Are we talking about naturally pretty, or weave, make up, filters and filler type pretty?
@@sinceresinclair yea cause thats logical lmao
@@shellyr8094 ahh understood thanks
I had a man tell me to my face “I always wondered what it would be like to be with you”. He ended up falling in love with me, not believing I loved him back although I was head over heels, and ultimately we ended it. He would play games and tell me awful things like I have to have two girlfriends or stroke his ego on reminding me of how many people think he’s so handsome. It was a pain, felt like some kind of competition he was in with me.
Oh wow glad you got out of that. It should not be a competition when men and women have different roles.
Sounds like unhealed childhood trauma.
His actions make me think he didn't fall in love and kept his guard up bc he had only one motive... To say he got to be with you. I've heard the same from men but what really gets me is being gas lit by men knowing full well I'm not a 10 anymore I'm probably a 7 but being gaslit that I'm a 10....
It's too funny
Someone who was in love with you wouldn’t behave like that so he possibly said that but didn’t actually feel it.
@@mariancounsellorI had a man deeply in love with me that acted like this, but it was disorganized attachment.
Story of my life. Stay single queens 🙌
For real. Either way u can't win!
Self Love wins always.
Not everyone wants to stay single and that's ok
❤
@@melaninqueen2413 it’s better to be without a man than to be with WRONG man. Don’t get screwed because of desperation.
❤
I keep attracting old dusty men…what does that say about me? 🤣 lawd, this is a cruel world…
😂 It means you need to move in different circles, and hang out in places where there are no "old dusty men". Stay away from the dominoes clubs, betting shops, and rum conventions 😅
@@sensimania you can't avoid the grocery store and gas station!
@@bl7817Go to the grocery stores and gas stations in affluent neighborhoods. 😉
@@bl7817 True dat, lol! In unavoidable places, try and be as unwelcoming as possible. Don't smile at them or make eye contact
Aw man, the story of my life 😂
There are so many people out here with unhealed childhood trauma that they will sabotage any option you put in front of them. They will find fault in anybody and repeat that same attachment pattern until they leave this earth.
The 'mid-ugly' guys I attracted are more of the 'nothing to lose' types you mentioned. Smh
Very true what you say. My less attractive friends would get hit on more as men were afraid to approach me. Once in the circle, they’d find themselves more comfortable revealing their interest was actually in me. This dynamic created waves with my girlfriends. Interesting is, I was the friendlier and funnier one in my group of girlfriends.
But I on the other hand really do prefer less attractive men to most women. They tend to be more focused on the quality of both mine and their character. They appear more sincere and eager to please me.
It's crazy that women who are below 7 are so jealous of 8 9 10 when in reality they have it easier. I've been trying to tell people this for a long time
Its true. Being attractive is not the life people think it is. Its alienating. Even if your emotionslly intelligent, funny etc, the more stacked - the more alienated.
So true!! No one, literally no one was ever interested in me as a person, wanted to know who I am. They would lie and pretend in order to get close to me with zero intent to commit. I didn’t have a father figure and had a hard awakening when I fell pregnant and got discarded.
Which was the best thing that could have happened to me. I leveled up on so many levels and now revel in the love that both God and my daughter show me.
Crazy thing: 3+ years in I met someone at Bible studies who’s become an amazing friend to me and it’s so wonderful to finally have a man in my life on a platonic level who loves me, cares about me and prays for/with me and vice versa.
Only focus on God!! ❤
Every man I dated was not on my level looks wise and outside of my highschool boyfriend (who was such a sweetheart) they all got very insecure the minute I gave them a chance. One man who wanted me to be his wife always blamed me for the attention I was getting and men approaching me, like lol!
It wasn’t until I met my husband who was on my level looks wise that all the bs stopped. I still get attention and compliments, but I don’t get blamed for trying attract attention, because that’s not my vibe as an introvert. My husband knows that and he loves seeing me enjoy my beauty. And if we’re together, these men go and compliment him on my beauty.
I once cried from coming home from a date because I had walked into 7-11 with my date and I was wearing a tube top . And men were staring . I ignored as I always do because I’m an introvert I keep to myself majority of the time. As we are walking out my date says “ every man was staring at you “ like blaming me because I wore a tube top ? It just shows the shoulders? I ended the night and said “ you know that was really mean I didn’t do anything and your blaming me for my beauty I can’t help that your projecting youre thoughts onto me” he wasn’t attractive at all and I thought I’d give him a chance. Worst decision ever. I haven’t dated in a year. Trying to fix my self esteem
@@ysl23addidasq I’m sorry you had to experience this and people who can’t relate won’t understand how these men pursue you then switch up and get nasty once they realize they can’t keep you. Men say they want a beautiful or attractive woman until they realize what that entails in terms of the looks, compliments, and advances of other men. If a man is blaming you for the actions of men because of your beauty, he’s a loser who’s realizing that he can’t handle being with a desirable woman.
I mean, the same goes with women. If a woman wants a desirable man, she’s going to need to be able to handle other women trying to steal him from her. Funny though, women rarely blame men unless he’s cheating. Whereas insecure men that show their true colors when their girl simply gets complimented or gets attention. I find these types of men stupid because they want beautiful women for the clout and jealousy from other men, but get mad when men give her attention. Lmao, you can’t take these kinds of men seriously.
Remember this and vet properly! I wish you all the healing and confidence. Don’t hide yourself nor your beauty from the world because of these losers (and jealous loser women as well). I speak from experience!
@@munequa81thank you!! Wish u the best too ! Have a great weekend !
@@ysl23addidasq you too!
I dated some men on bumble and some were much less attractive than me the lower in attractiveness the faster they sabotaged the relationship. I ended up having to only date very attractive to get reapectful treatment
Pick mes and easy women have ruined the dating game
100%
wrong
Men who don't commit*
The guy who simp for women had done same lol
@@shaktimishra9710 like subscribing to OF accounts, like following IG thots, like watching p*rn, like going to strip clubs … yes absolutely.
Physical attraction is very important to me and in my experience I don’t come across a lot of men that I consider attractive. It’s quite rare that I even have a crush besides some celebrity on tv 😢 I did fall deeply in love with a lucky 7 before though but still haven’t had a crush in a while
I have the same thoughts!😂
This is my same deal. Never attracted to anyone physically. For the past 10 years, only one man has caught my eye and held it. And yes, he's on tv lol.
@@SomebodyStopMe1111Same and am worried because am not that young anymore😊
Same with the exception I've never fallen in love
Same omg exactly same 😭
lol, I started to think I was ugly 😂😂😂😂 because it’s hard for me and I don’t approach. And everything he said was true. But don’t date ugly! Because they have the most audacity and will treat you the worse, I know through experience.
I don’t approach either neither do they . You’re so right about not dating down. I got the worst mean spiritedness from a couple men while dating
Had the same experience, I'd say insecure rather than plain ugly. They constantly put you down to validate themselves
I had this revelation a few years ago.
Beautiful, gorgeous, pretty women ect have it the worst.
If woman is just okay or considered “not attractive” men who approach are doing it because they still genuinely interested.
Women who are more attractive get played the most by men. Because they are solely after her looks not necessarily her internal and that is the problem
Thank you for this… makes sense 🤔 interesting
Hmm interesting, Thank you!
I’ve got to disagree with the part about why beautiful women date ugly men. I think it has a lot to do with confidence and self worth. Everybody likes to feel good and naturally will end up liking the person that makes the feel good the most. And it’s “safe” because they don’t come with fan clubs. Nobody wants other women in their man’s face. Dating a mid guy is a confidence booster because they’re constantly reassuring you and glad to be with you
Or those women can also feel that they are at or below that man’s level since a lot of insecure people like to tear at pretty women’s confidence
This @@themagicalcupcakeunicorn5755
okay true
@@themagicalcupcakeunicorn5755bro they do same with attractive man .
@@shaktimishra9710 Did I say that?💀 You just want to argue, go get a hobby
Men will get with a 7-8 only to have sanity in his head while he goes seeking for 9-10
All jokes aside, i love this PIE formula and the overall idea you promote of not focusing so much on optics, like what you said about boss chicks not looking for the power couple alpha but more awkward shy guys
I have gotten to the point where I'm not focusing too much on looks anymore. As long as he is decent and has a good heart. I have been scorned too many times. Beauty fades but a good heart lasts forever.❤
I thought it was the other way around that men have higher physical standards for their partner, and women date below their attractiveness level.
Also women date someone who get more money then them for security. It's normal
Men also have big egos. Dating a woman who is more attractive than them hurts their ego ;)
@@Ugnele Women with good money don't date someone who earn lower than them. Female have more big ego 🥰.
@@Ugnele Women don't even date a man who are shorter than them because they are insecure and too big ego 🥰.
@@Ugnele women have more ego . Cause they don't date if someone earn less than them cause it's hurt their ego ;)
That is not true.. women also date down.. an immature guy who gets one girl out of his league will think he has a chance with every woman out there. We are the prizes but rarely we are treated right
Now make a video explaining why they care so much about what other men think if they are straight. I'm convinced
I've had the man have performance anxiety. Whoosh ! AWKWARD. Apologizing, nervous...
i've had that too. that was kinda painful when it happened. i didn't know that's what it was, so i thought it was me. in my mind, the right thing to do was walk away, and i did ... but he kept pursuing. i learned it was performance anxiety. he talked a lot, and would say things like, "i'm so nervous", and so on. had he not said anything, i would've never put 2 & 2 together.
You gonna make me delulu🥴😭😂
i know you're being so serious but "mid ugly men" is hilarious to me
😂😂😂 it makes sense & is TRUE too!
Body shaming is wrong though. Imagine if gender were reversed
@@SheRoseAgainno it's not if you don't find them attractive don't date but don't call them ugly. It break people confidense
So true. i have a female friend who later took hormones to be a man. Now he define himself as pansexual. But the thing is he once said to me that 'if I saw you on dating app I would swipe left. Why? Because you're too pretty for me' 😅 And so many times I was asked why I was still single 🤦
Dating outside of your emotional, educational, and financial bracket will cost you everything.
I’m interested in how women rate themselves compared to how you or the general society of hetero men rate them. Not because rating is empirically correct but because prettiness is an undeniably outsized factor. Kimberly at For Harriet has a great video segment about how we’ve made it bad or unacceptable to not be as pretty as possible or that some women no matter what they do will never be a 7/8/9/10. The reality is that to be a 9 means statistically that if you are watching this video, it doesn’t apply to you (or me) and that’s ok! Some folks are the 5/6/7s catching the 9 men and that’s your takeaway!
You’re speaking to my soul!!!!
WOW! This was SUPER helpful and insightful!! 😭😭😭🙏🏾💖💖💖
You're on point❤!
Wow! This is eerily spot on.
Men have to stop pushing this notion that less pretty women give up sex more quickly … cus what happens is y’all make it dangerous for average women because super attractive men really believe the less attractive woman is easier and they become dangerous to her when she says no goes against his ego . I’ve seen it. A less hott women does not mean easier to get sex from easy sex is only based on that person’s personal choice.
Alot of times women are easy because of past trauma in their childhood.
I’m sorry, but as a beautiful woman, I can’t date unattractive men anymore. They are the most dangerous. They start off good but the insecurity gets to them. I’ve had men start berating me and picking on me in an effort to make me feel bad about myself. I’ve learned that he has to be pretty attractive too
not really. ugly women have the hardest time and even when we do have someone it is because he is biding his time and waiting till he can get the woman of his dream
Dorothy Dandridge talked about beauty being a double edged sword. She’s right. You damned if you do and damed if you don’t in a sense. When you’re beautiful men just want to posses you, they don’t care about you or treat you better at all.
true, they'll treat it like a doormat, sleep around with some other women on the side & demand 50/50 cuz he aint paying for that pussy till he can finally afford his dream woman
True
@@MeMyself984I write this message as a reminder that all men see us as objects anyways (literally. Confirmed by brain scans). Pick men that work for you, I guess, is the take away.
Stop comparing. Men treat all women like shit, just in different ways. It’s not easier for any of us.
0:30 I completely disagree with this. For the most part people tend to date around their own attractiveness level. That’s based on both anecdote (my own experiences) and research. The rest of this is just my opinion and observations - I actually think women in general are more likely than men to date someone significantly less attractive than them, and men are more likely to go for women who are significantly out of their league.
In traditional days eveyone knew were they stood . Women made an effort to look attractive and men made an effort to be a gentleman and would play the dating game of persuing a women successfuly. People were not fussy and we didn't have porn so men didn't look for situationships to hook up and leave .
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!! Who cares what a man wants, focus on what you want. But I find you definitely have to find someone that matches your fly, that’s the hard part. More people than not lack confidence, and the tools to maintain a relationship of any kind.
I think women tend to be more beautiful than men. Even women who are categorized as “mid” tend to be more attractive than “mid” male counterparts. A woman’s 5 is definitely a man’s 8.
That was a very good breakdown!! Thank you!!
One of the smoothest ways to go through life is to be average in all aspects.
@@MyAccountForCommenting I also feel like people who look average/ have an average life are the happiest because they know how to be content.
Good-looking people have unrealistically high standards that can’t be met, because they have lived their lives on “easy mode” thanks to their looks and won’t settle for less when it comes to their partner.
Pretry women who have standards have it worse because they are holding onto their standards while dating in a time men expect you to pay half, court them, and they have other beautiful women because they go after the top shelf men who have it going on but are in feminine energy.
From my experience, ive noticed that these people who are deemed the best looking by society standards tend to make that their personalities and they have nothing else to offer. They also tend to think they are gods gift to humanity. They also only want someone who also matches their level of attraction. When you bring 2 of these people together, neither are level headed and both think they are gods gift to humanity, you will have problems
So needed to see this! Everything said was accurate asf 😂
Thank you for bringing this up. Ppl think it's easy for us.
This is TRUTH!!!
Well, you have answered a lot of questions for me. Thank you
So good. Thank you.
Happy too see this posts lol but the dilemmas & drama you encounter along the way! Sheesh! 😮💨😩 in the meantime, my feelings really be hurt 😂
Omg! 😅 so much to dissect ! I wonder if , because, dating has and is getting harder and harder, if most people in the future will stay single.. I’m not anything near the “ beauty - range- standard ” and yet I’m like “ damn… it’s hard for everyone “ 😅
You’re speaking the truth!
I need some advice-the only dates I’ve been on have been from me initiating something with a man. All nice men, but it would become clear that they weren’t interested, leading to break ups, even ghosting. In a few of the cases, there were other women that they were dating at the same time and were more interested in. It felt as though me being the initiator bled into the overall dynamic of the ‘relationship’ where I found myself inquiring about dates, etc…just overall not seeing any initiative being taken on the man’s part.
Based on these past experiences, I just don’t think men like or want to get to know me as a person, beyond appearances. I’m more of a reserved/conservative personality, which I know can present more boring to those who don’t get a chance to truly know me. Even growing up in school, I was used to being overlooked, but I remain thankful for that because the quality of the friends I have in my life now is so high. I hope for the same outcome for my marriage.
All that to say, what are some additional techniques I can incorporate into my daily life that would help encourage others to give me a chance??
To all the beautiful women out there, don’t listen to this man. He is simply lowering the bar for men. If you’re beautiful, if you’re pretty, have standards, enforce those standards, and be OK with being alone because if you can’t spend time alone you’re really not that high quality of a woman.
The “mid ugly” guys are often the ones with the absolute most audacity. I’ve come to the conclusion you can’t win out here so imma just focus on myself until I croak lol
i've always seen women dating down and men dating up.
Lol.... this rating math is hysterical.... and the truisms of the much maligned "mid ugly" man was too much
Body shaming is wrong
Perfect timing I needed to hear this ! New subscriber 🌞
Can we get more “experts” that focus on women being happily single and less male-centered? 🙄
I gotta agree!!!! Whew this is wisdom!
Thanking Lord that I am safe from this problem!
Try being a pretty woman that’s 5’8 no man wants to approach me!! 😢 I believe I look very intimidating, but I promise I’m really a sweet girl when you get to know me. It sucks.
So I'm attractive...not 8-10, but I'm confident and aware of who I am. I was told I'm "intimidating," what does that correlate to?
Dating is for the birds. 😅
If we all closed our eyes and listened to the other person, you would see the real person for what they really are. Looks are fleeting, but they're true character will reveal itself.❤
We live in a vain society…. Everyone is beautiful in their own way… what one person dislikes in looks another loves!
So true someone said it
Thank you so much.
Im what people see as Highly Attractive and Most fear because i have high intellect ... ive Always dated Attractive Men ... with Amazing Emotional quotient ... even if sometimes feel im Smarter than them ... there still smart enough that i dont feel its a compromise 😊
Genuinely asking: how do you find these beautiful and intelligent men? And how do you end up with them? I always (no, not always, but often) attract 5-6 level men that may be intelligent , but emotionally they’re a zero! All and all, they think they’re the sh!t.
@@cassiopee26curious as well
we also have no friends
Beautiful women have to simply be direct and take control, you 2ould be surprised at how many men alike that, the problem is women still having the damsel complex. Men hate rejection, so simply being direct stomps that out, what men want most is to know they are wanted and dont have to worry.
I love this channel you're AMAZING ❤
I feel like when guys see me the problem is they only focus on my looks. And I want to just bond a little bit because I have a personality and a good heart. And I wish they would give me the chance to hear me speak just before judging me by my looks.
B aware! Guard ur beauty & ur happiness. ❤🌎❤
Omg you were on point with everything! Smdh lol
It's hard dating period. If you don't have a relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ the relationship with fail. ❤
Yea once ugly always ugly unless you are really doing the work and I have never seen it
Like beauty and the beast, he is beautiful inside and that's what she sees above all.
Wow that’s crazy. You’d think guys would like beautiful women. 🤷♀️ Pretty effed up world we live in. That’s like saying you’d prefer a Nissan when you could have a Bentley or a Mercedes at the same expense.
And yeah I’m figuring out men don’t really want or value a 9 / 10. 🤦🏽♀️