#selfhealers, it's so important to understand that while we experience trauma it is not who we are. It does shift both the mind and body, but we can always heal. If this video resonates, check out the video I created on reparenting to begin your healing journey here: th-cam.com/video/wLVrwb7w37s/w-d-xo.html Also, we are so close to 100,000 followers! If my videos have been helpful for you, I'd so appreciate if you took a minute to subscribe. I can't thank this community enough. -Nicole (@the.holistic.psychologist)
The Holistic Psychologist Just subscribed!! Been trying to become aware since listening to you on MFCEO!! You have really opened my eyes, thank you so much for all the work you do!
My autobiography: 1. Early memories of confidence, curiosity, ease, extroversion. 2. Fuzziness; a sense that something happened. 3. Fear, anxiety, apprehension, shame, withdrawal, unending stress.
Oh wow, yes! I always remembered myself as someone outgoing, strong, curious. I was a child with boundless energy and strength. And then my memories become just a bunch of flashbacks to moments of abuse and just hell itself.
Very interesting. Reading this thread brought tears from my inner child. I don't remember a time of before... There was always tension. I have either wanted to hide or escape my whole life. Ty for more awareness of what to heal and release. It's not who I am now. I'm safe to be myself in the present 😊Grateful for Dr Nicole who is teaching us how to process the trauma and reparent ourselves. Her book How to do the work and podcast Selfhealers Soundboard helped so much 🙏
Yep that’s me. I was a bullied kid into high school and by my freshman year I gave up. Quit athletics and and hated school to the point of failing classes. I started fighting back my sophomore year and had no parental support at home- I was actually blamed for my issues at school. In my 30s I blew up my life with addiction and almost killed myself with alcohol. I’m recovered now and sober and it took 3 4th steps in AA to come to the conclusion that you talk about in this video. I’m better but I think the damage is permanent. I mistrust people still and I’m very wary of people who are nice to me. I struggle with success and feel I don’t deserve it and I’m not trying hard enough and I don’t even know how to explain my shame cycle. Parents- love your kids. Hug them every day. You have no idea what they’re going through.
All of the above apply to me. Abused by parents since I can remember. I've been aware of this cycle (and the fact that I let others abuse me when I grew up, too, which I called "bad luck" with people) for 20 years but never knew how to change things. At 44 I'm slowly starting to heal.
I was diagnosed last year with GAD and SAD. This concept of Trauma Brain is me 100% of the time and it makes social and work life situations so painfully difficult because I keep wanting validation and approval from people I honestly don't particularly care about but my ego seems obsessed with their perception of me. It makes it so hard to be in collaborative situations at work because all my ego cares about is having the best ideas and wanting people to think the best of me. Looking at it as Trauma Brain and knowing that I can Reparent is so much more helpful than calling it GAD and SAD because all I have then is a label. Dr. Nicole, and consequently my work, give me so much hope for my future self.
#3 really hits home. Ever since the traumatic event in my life I’ve been feeling like I can’t be alone with my thoughts. This is the most difficult at night when I’m trying to go to sleep so I play TH-cam videos so that I can fall asleep with “noise” in the background. You finally worded it for me because I struggled with identifying this feeling for a long time. I don’t feel safe in the present moment and haven’t felt safe since my trauma. Thank you for empowering me to understand my own thoughts and actions 🙏
Sending you so much love. I started to feel better and more present when I started calming my nervous system. Breathwork and connecting with myself throughout the day. Hand on my belly saying I am safe whenever I felt triggered 🙏
I saw your video with Mel Robbins and when you were talking about having very few memories of childhood because of being in state of anxiety and not present it hit me so hard, out of all the things that have resonated with me in reading and watching people like Brené Brown, Elizabeth Gilbert and so on, I don’t think anything had such an impact on me as that. It was likely finally finding someone who can really connect the dots. I’d been reading a reparenting book and I got stuck in parts where you were meant to think of your childhood and what it was like and I couldn’t really recollect. I thought there was something wrong with me, that I’d fail at reparenting because I couldn’t remember. And now this, all 5 of these make such sense to me. I even distracted myself from the present right now by going on YT and watching this video. I recently concluded that I always need some background distraction in order to focus, for example when I’m drawing I found it much easier to keep going if I was watching a livestream from an artist drawing or painting and talking, instead of just drawing ‘by myself’ or with only music, I get uncomfortable. Now I think that’s because my inner critic starts ramping up whenever it gets a chance and by having some form of distraction I don’t feel that so I can keep going. But I guess the point is that I need to figure out how to deal with that discomfort, that inner voice, so I can do this on my own. Because that’s another thing I do - always feel like I can’t do things by myself, like I always needs someone to give me advice, because I don’t trust my own opinion..... the outside confirmation thing really. I’m getting better at it, I’ve been reparenting through daily journaling, but there’s still a lot to uncover.
"Do they like me? Will they want me?" is the perfect prerequisite for joining a cult. "They like me! They are interested in me! They accept me!" and feeling part of something, feeling included .. Until you find yourself used and abused. Even then it's hard to leave .. the need for approval is so great. "They'll hate me if I leave .. I know how they're disgusted by those who are not-spiritual-enough to stay"...etc. I've spent the rest of my life self-recriminating over having joined - while at the same time wishing I could have managed to earn their love and approval! Oh dear .. 😣 ..
In another video she talks about Trauma (big T, intense acute threatening event) vs trauma (little t, low grade chronic/cumulative threats). We often ignore the latter because each individual event doesn't "add up to much" but this distinction helps us understand why the symptoms of trauma seem much more prevalent than exposure to Traumatic (big T) events. And also probably the line between what constitutes Big T vs little t trauma differs from person to person and over time as either triggers build on and intersect with each other or as we do the necessary healing/growth work
I never subscribe to anything on You Tube, but I felt subscribing to this channel was the least I could do to say thank you to Nicole. Even after years of therapy, never has a therapist helped me like The Holistic Psychologist has. Thank you will never be enough for helping me have a better life.
Hi, doc. I don't know if you'll see this comment given how long ago the video was posted, but here goes. A little over a year ago, I lived through a relatively minor event that had a disproportionately big effect on me emotionally and threw me into a kind of depression. We were all on lockdown, I was unemployed, and my life was totally up in the air, so getting therapy was not an option, but I knew something had to change so I looked around online for books and gravitated towards yours. I read it and, for the first time, started reflecting on my childhood experiences and realizing how much trauma there really was in them, in the more expansive definition you give trauma here. Since then, I've had a lot more awareness when it comes to the root causes of certain kinds of emotional responses that I have in my relationships with others (and with myself, to be fair). I do have a lot of healthy practices, which I've had since before I even realized I had trauma brain: I eat well, I do my best to sleep well, I exercise, I sometimes meditate (or at least have a habit of bringing awareness into my actions, interactions, and reactions), I'm fairly well in touch with my body and breathing, etc. I have a long way to go on some issues, though, and this video nailed everything on the head about how my own experience of trauma seeps into my everyday life. It really helps to put a name to these phenomena, because a vague background awareness of them can only go so far when it comes to trying to tackle them. It was difficult for me to watch this and go "yup, yup, yup" as you went down the list, but also very eye-opening. And it's helping push me in the direction of acknowledging what's really wrong and stepping up to work on that rather than resisting like I have for such a long time, thinking that therapy is brainwashing and social conditioning, etc. I'm 42 years old and I don't want to stay stuck in this place anymore, or come circling back around to it cyclically. Thank you kindly from the bottom of my heart.
@@sayusayme7729 im tired of labels too. I believe whatever brings you comfort is a good plan honestly. One of my VA doctors was in a Native American family. I appreciated hearing different perspectives.
Dr. Nicole, you never cease to amaze me with your insights. I have always considered my strong suit the social world. I am ALWAYS watching everyone, especially when hosting events. I fixate on micro reactions, where people place their eye contact, their self awareness, my own. I used to think this made me highly socially intelligent, perhaps it still does, but I know this must be linked to trauma brain because I find that as I ask myself a lot of the questions you have offered to me, I am seeing that beneath I am easily exhausted around others... trying to manage everyone's feelings is too great a feat for one person. While my rational mind knows that it isn't my responsibility and it is a waste of energy to care, I still do. This has resulted in me being a lot more selective about who and how many people I spend my time with. This won't fix my mind, but maybe seeing this for what it is, social anxiety, will help forge the path ahead for more healing. If others reading this can relate, I hope you know that you aren't alone.
God can I relate to that. I thought I was a savant for being able to "feel" what every person was feeling in a room. Its exhausting and prevents me from being present.
Exactly that's what I was trying to put into words thank you for penning down miss. Exactly ma'am. I've felt traumatized but to consciously realize the factof trauma brain 😇😇😇😇thankuu doctor
My mother was killed when I was in the house when I was 13...25th anniversary this year hitting me like a ton of bricks. This video helped me. I will work on getting help very soon for this. Thanks for being you. I'm so thankful I found you.
This describes me very well. I thought I was one of the only ones with this much of a traumatic brain or whatever, and just thought there was something very wrong with me. Very good video. Thank you. You make me feel less alone and less different.
Nicole, I want to cry tears of joy from watching this video. I felt so heard and understood about things that I thought were unique to only myself!! It’s amazing how trauma affects us isn’t it. Thank you and I’m now going to watch the reparenting video. 🤍🤍🤍
My ego judges me and blames me for having the thoughts that I am observing their presence. He tells me that I am still the same person and healing hasn't happened yet. What to do?
Work to practice observing these stories over and over again. With practice, you'll see them as separate from truth and have the ability to make a conscious choice beyond the story.
I relate to all of these. Some of them to a hugely uncomfortable degree. There was a lot of fidgeting and sweating palms, holding of the forehead, full breath sighs, and unnecessary wiping of my eyes. I felt an inner seething for that last one.
Tears in my eyes because I operate in my trauma brain. 💔 I Often wonder there are people ever in the world who are wildly confident in themselves and work about feeling secure naturally 😩
We deal with our fears differently. I suffer and manifest all those signs of brain trauma highlighted in the video. In many ways, I portray as a confident person, charming and loved. But I do very well hiding my fears, and use this image as a protective shell that hides my reality.
@@Nain1982 I agree, for me it came as the "jokey" person all the time, the one that can laugh about anything and not take life seriously or anything to heart.....until I realised it was me being a people pleaser hiding away my fear of judgement from others and my insecurities of not ever belonging.
I'm hooked on this channel. You are helping sooo many people harness their own power. And I absolutely how you talk about the relationship between the mind and body in the context of mental health. You rock. Thank you thank you thank you
5/5 wow! Always knew I'd been through some rough things as a kid but didn't realize just how deep rooted my behaviors were because of trauma until this video. Tysm for this!
You are absolutely beautiful amazing soul!! Thank you so soooo much for not giving up, letting go, fighting through, processing your personal situations. The wisdom you share is only through your own #selfhealing🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ #selfhealer
This is the best video on early trauma that I’ve ever watched. I’m now well on my way to healing from this but I’m sure this video will help those who are at an earlier stage of the journey. Thanks for the great content 🙏
I am 5/5 ; only learnt about the concept of trauma at the end of 2023 after a bad episode in life - I am 39 and everything makes so much sense now. At least I can start my healing journey. Thank you for work in bringing this awareness to us. Number 1 especially :(
I almost didn’t watch this because I thought “there’s no way any of this applies to me because I don’t think I’ve experienced anything terribly traumatic” and I read the points in the thumbnail and they apply so here I am...
That's because she's moved the goalposts of what trauma means so far that a normal childhood with the typical stresses of life is considered "traumatic"
I used to do and feel all of these things- reprogramming and your work (and doing the work on myself!) has been amazing in seeing myself and how I experience life as opposed to even just a year ago. Thank you for what you do!
My entire body resonate with allllll of these!!!! So well. explained!! They go like arrows to tbs heart of the problem! I feel so validates right now! I can finaly alow myself to say to believe that i had trauma, cptsd, dissociation!!! Inner child-controlled-brain! These gifts I got from (severely abused and abusive parents to each other.) immature fighting parents both controlling and mentally absent parents. With severely psychologically nerve wrecking upbringing! I know that! And i am tired of this state of powelessnesss. I need to heal!!
This is so helpful. I remember being so overwhelmed by my emotions, my parents didn't know how to regulate theirs either. It IS traumatic, I avoided feeling my emotions for years and I still struggle because I am afraid I can't control them if I let them out.
I’ve had a similar experience, especially being a highly sensitive intuitive. My emotions were so intense they frightened me and caused me to either withdraw from social interactions altogether, or create mostly shallow relationships with others that severely lacked in emotional intimacy. Thankfully I’m well on my healing journey now, and working towards consistently practicing self-regulation so that I can go out into the world and adventure freely like I had originally intended upon coming to Earth!
Thank you for the work you are doing here on youtube! My life also filled with traumatic moments...also a recent one. Good to just listening to your voice and I am thankful to feel that what I feel is normal....I just need to slow down, sometimes just rethink things and move along.
You are always on time. Thank you! This has been showing up and all 5 resonates.! I have trauma brain. I am going to show up differently. Thank you so much, i can’t thank you enough!
I definitely have a trauma brain, I was already aware of some of this traits but you helped me a lot making me consider how I need to be show up in relationships
Hi Dr Nicole, You're a miracle in my life. Thankyou for sharing all of this, I'm realising I've had trauma brain and even though there's the other video on self healing, I'm a little scared of going there yet. I'm kinda trying to diagnose myself first. I've done some terrible things while at the same time I'm a really amazing person, and the both do not sit together at all. I think I've always had trauma brain and an empath in the hyoervigilance sense, But I'm just starting to realise I don't have all things sorted as I thought I had. So thankyou very much for your content. Im gonna leave as many comments and likes, so the algo helps you as much as I can.
Sorry I'm a little late... As soon as I read the title of the video, I knew right away the answer's yes. So I most definitely found this video helpful! Dr. Nicole , you rock! This is exactly what I needed right now. I will be sharing this video with others😇 Thank you so much blessings 💞 *I have to be there for me. I was little and abandoned. But I don't feel that (anymore) because I know I am going to be there for me... Here for me. I'm here for me. And good people do happen. And I'm gonna be OK*
I have ALL of these. The one that is most apparent is the comparison yet every single one resonates with me. For example, I’ve recently set a goal for myself and now feel hatred for myself for not reaching that goal. And an acquaintance has same goal and achieved it and it feels like salt on my wound and it stings. I just want to eat junk food and watch TV and forget about my life and how much I hate myself and how I’m a loser.
I saw the "need for consistent distraction" and genuinely stopped and clapped a hand over my mouth. I've known for YEARS that this is my pattern. I've even said to others that I can tell when my depression is really flaring up because I'll dive headfirst into my MMO of choice (e.g. World of Warcraft) and just stay immersed for hours a day. I never correlated it with trauma, though. I just found your Facebook page tonight, and I already feel raw, like I've been through a really eye-opening therapy session.
Seriously Nicole every time I go back and watch one of your older videos it's just... *chef's kiss* exactly what I need to hear in my healing journey. Thank you!!
I am a new subscriber and what I appreciate is the doctor is so open, honest, and vulnerable about her life experiences. It makes the information so real and helpful/useful. Thanks You!
you should do a video on how to heal/resolve the trauma'd brain...great to know...now time to heal...otherwise just stuck for life & majority of world is trauma's on some key level...really enjoy your videos...thxs :)
The fact that this video was published in Jan of 2020, right as the world was beginning to learn about this far-away "novel virus" is such fortuitous timing for many. Mind you, I'm not seeing this video until just shy of 4 years later, in mid-December of 2023, but the fact that some people got this information at such a critical time makes me very happy for humanity.
Dr Nicole. Thank you for the video. I want to heal this trauma . I'm more aware now and I live my life intentionally. I do the work by feeding my mind with good stuff to change my negative thoughts with positive ones and I have good habits but I want to work on healing trauma brain. Actually I had tough childhood and I was in bad sick environment when I was a kid. I don't blame anyone and I know as an adult that I'm responsible for my life and for my own happiness.
I am so grateful to have found you. I am literally watching all of your videos and taking notes to help myself healing from Trauma bonding, learn to re-parent my inner child, and understand my own thoughts and patterns. The way in which you explain the science behind the mind for regular people to understand it it's outstanding. We needed somebody like you. THANK YOU SO MUCH for explaining it in a way we can easily relate. God bless you 🙌🏻
Woah, feeling all of these in the past year and feeling frustrated as I can’t figure out where it’s coming from to move through it. Never had an issue with these points before but the emotional guidance makes sense
Wow. I've been following for a while, reading you post, doing the future self journaling and watching your videos. But this one hit me hard... About 1 year ago I had the 5 characteristics you described in this video. It's amazing the transformation I've had. I guess I over look my progress but it's way WAY better now. Thank you so much!!!!
I recently discovered you and I love you from the bottom of my heart! And I mean it! I love your soul! My little world makes more sense now. If I know what it is I can do something and you are giving me the tools, the meanings and the right words! I’m very grateful for you!🙏 much blessings ✨✨✨
I spent almost my entire life feeling and doing these things. I dis suffer a lot of trauma. It was only a couple years ago I finally woke up as to why I was the way I was. It's been a long process to self heal. Still working on it.
Wow. Nicole, thank you from the bottom of my heart for this video. I experience all 5 daily. I have been self healing for a year now but have never come across the term trauma brain. This helps so so much.
You basically described me 😫 I've been trying to work on myself this year and take responsibility to parent myself as my parents didn't have the right tools to do so. I naturally find myself doing all these things...
This reminds me of my past relationship. I so resonate with this as it's what I am presently experiencing and didnt realise it. Thanks to much for this eye opener
Wow! This is definitely me. Especially the distraction I wonder why I constantly want to be on my computer on social media and youtube. I have such a hard time with just being.
Well. I’ve been feeling stuck, not necessarily “bad” but feeling “good” comes in brief moments, so I assumed that I was fine backing off my therapy appointments to once every two months because I didn’t have any changes to report to my therapist and it felt like I was just talking to them about the same things, which heavily revolve others’ behavior and I know I can’t change that. But seeing this and realizing that my brain has been doing this even though I *thought* I was getting better at self-care…maybe I’m not. I’m still feeling the unending craving for praise and affection but also feeling like I’m not good enough for it, that I have to keep being “helpful” and “productive” or no one will like me, but then I’m constantly tired and burnt out and I get ashamed and sad that I’m not doing any of the fun hobbies I used to love and do daily. I’ll have to talk to my therapist about this because clearly I’ve not been looking at myself as deeply as I thought.
#selfhealers, it's so important to understand that while we experience trauma it is not who we are. It does shift both the mind and body, but we can always heal. If this video resonates, check out the video I created on reparenting to begin your healing journey here: th-cam.com/video/wLVrwb7w37s/w-d-xo.html Also, we are so close to 100,000 followers! If my videos have been helpful for you, I'd so appreciate if you took a minute to subscribe. I can't thank this community enough. -Nicole (@the.holistic.psychologist)
The Holistic Psychologist Just subscribed!! Been trying to become aware since listening to you on MFCEO!! You have really opened my eyes, thank you so much for all the work you do!
What is the medical for “the trauma brain”
Thank you for this! It's way better than seeing a therapist. You get to the point. 💕
Thank you from the bottom of my heart
The Holistic Psychologist dr lepera, do you have an email/submission platform for questions?
My autobiography: 1. Early memories of confidence, curiosity, ease, extroversion. 2. Fuzziness; a sense that something happened. 3. Fear, anxiety, apprehension, shame, withdrawal, unending stress.
Oh wow, yes! I always remembered myself as someone outgoing, strong, curious. I was a child with boundless energy and strength. And then my memories become just a bunch of flashbacks to moments of abuse and just hell itself.
Are you me?
Very relatable
Very interesting. Reading this thread brought tears from my inner child. I don't remember a time of before... There was always tension.
I have either wanted to hide or escape my whole life. Ty for more awareness of what to heal and release. It's not who I am now. I'm safe to be myself in the present 😊Grateful for Dr Nicole who is teaching us how to process the trauma and reparent ourselves. Her book How to do the work and podcast Selfhealers Soundboard helped so much 🙏
Ergh this comment is so perfect. My autobiography is exactly identical. ‘A sense that something happened’ 🥺
I felt called out when you said "Need for constant distraction" as I'm distracting myself with this video😂
Right
Me: “time to play some Stardew Valley to relax”
Me, before even opening the game: “I need something to listen to while I focus on this game”
I look for distractions from my distractions---I have so many tabs open and I'm supposed to be working
Yep me too
Hahaha me too!
Yep that’s me. I was a bullied kid into high school and by my freshman year I gave up. Quit athletics and and hated school to the point of failing classes. I started fighting back my sophomore year and had no parental support at home- I was actually blamed for my issues at school. In my 30s I blew up my life with addiction and almost killed myself with alcohol. I’m recovered now and sober and it took 3 4th steps in AA to come to the conclusion that you talk about in this video. I’m better but I think the damage is permanent. I mistrust people still and I’m very wary of people who are nice to me. I struggle with success and feel I don’t deserve it and I’m not trying hard enough and I don’t even know how to explain my shame cycle. Parents- love your kids. Hug them every day. You have no idea what they’re going through.
All of the above apply to me. Abused by parents since I can remember. I've been aware of this cycle (and the fact that I let others abuse me when I grew up, too, which I called "bad luck" with people) for 20 years but never knew how to change things. At 44 I'm slowly starting to heal.
lets goooo!
I've been struggling with all over these, I didn't realize some of them could be from trauma. Thank you
I was diagnosed last year with GAD and SAD. This concept of Trauma Brain is me 100% of the time and it makes social and work life situations so painfully difficult because I keep wanting validation and approval from people I honestly don't particularly care about but my ego seems obsessed with their perception of me. It makes it so hard to be in collaborative situations at work because all my ego cares about is having the best ideas and wanting people to think the best of me. Looking at it as Trauma Brain and knowing that I can Reparent is so much more helpful than calling it GAD and SAD because all I have then is a label. Dr. Nicole, and consequently my work, give me so much hope for my future self.
I have never felt so simultaneously supported and called out by a video 😂 Lots of love to you wonderful healing work you are doing! 💖
#3 really hits home. Ever since the traumatic event in my life I’ve been feeling like I can’t be alone with my thoughts. This is the most difficult at night when I’m trying to go to sleep so I play TH-cam videos so that I can fall asleep with “noise” in the background. You finally worded it for me because I struggled with identifying this feeling for a long time. I don’t feel safe in the present moment and haven’t felt safe since my trauma. Thank you for empowering me to understand my own thoughts and actions 🙏
Sending you so much love. I started to feel better and more present when I started calming my nervous system. Breathwork and connecting with myself throughout the day. Hand on my belly saying I am safe whenever I felt triggered 🙏
I saw your video with Mel Robbins and when you were talking about having very few memories of childhood because of being in state of anxiety and not present it hit me so hard, out of all the things that have resonated with me in reading and watching people like Brené Brown, Elizabeth Gilbert and so on, I don’t think anything had such an impact on me as that. It was likely finally finding someone who can really connect the dots. I’d been reading a reparenting book and I got stuck in parts where you were meant to think of your childhood and what it was like and I couldn’t really recollect. I thought there was something wrong with me, that I’d fail at reparenting because I couldn’t remember. And now this, all 5 of these make such sense to me. I even distracted myself from the present right now by going on YT and watching this video. I recently concluded that I always need some background distraction in order to focus, for example when I’m drawing I found it much easier to keep going if I was watching a livestream from an artist drawing or painting and talking, instead of just drawing ‘by myself’ or with only music, I get uncomfortable. Now I think that’s because my inner critic starts ramping up whenever it gets a chance and by having some form of distraction I don’t feel that so I can keep going. But I guess the point is that I need to figure out how to deal with that discomfort, that inner voice, so I can do this on my own. Because that’s another thing I do - always feel like I can’t do things by myself, like I always needs someone to give me advice, because I don’t trust my own opinion..... the outside confirmation thing really. I’m getting better at it, I’ve been reparenting through daily journaling, but there’s still a lot to uncover.
"Do they like me? Will they want me?" is the perfect prerequisite for joining a cult. "They like me! They are interested in me! They accept me!" and feeling part of something, feeling included ..
Until you find yourself used and abused. Even then it's hard to leave .. the need for approval is so great.
"They'll hate me if I leave .. I know how they're disgusted by those who are not-spiritual-enough to stay"...etc.
I've spent the rest of my life self-recriminating over having joined - while at the same time wishing I could have managed to earn their love and approval!
Oh dear .. 😣 ..
In another video she talks about Trauma (big T, intense acute threatening event) vs trauma (little t, low grade chronic/cumulative threats). We often ignore the latter because each individual event doesn't "add up to much" but this distinction helps us understand why the symptoms of trauma seem much more prevalent than exposure to Traumatic (big T) events. And also probably the line between what constitutes Big T vs little t trauma differs from person to person and over time as either triggers build on and intersect with each other or as we do the necessary healing/growth work
I never subscribe to anything on You Tube, but I felt subscribing to this channel was the least I could do to say thank you to Nicole. Even after years of therapy, never has a therapist helped me like The Holistic Psychologist has. Thank you will never be enough for helping me have a better life.
Hi, doc. I don't know if you'll see this comment given how long ago the video was posted, but here goes. A little over a year ago, I lived through a relatively minor event that had a disproportionately big effect on me emotionally and threw me into a kind of depression. We were all on lockdown, I was unemployed, and my life was totally up in the air, so getting therapy was not an option, but I knew something had to change so I looked around online for books and gravitated towards yours. I read it and, for the first time, started reflecting on my childhood experiences and realizing how much trauma there really was in them, in the more expansive definition you give trauma here. Since then, I've had a lot more awareness when it comes to the root causes of certain kinds of emotional responses that I have in my relationships with others (and with myself, to be fair). I do have a lot of healthy practices, which I've had since before I even realized I had trauma brain: I eat well, I do my best to sleep well, I exercise, I sometimes meditate (or at least have a habit of bringing awareness into my actions, interactions, and reactions), I'm fairly well in touch with my body and breathing, etc. I have a long way to go on some issues, though, and this video nailed everything on the head about how my own experience of trauma seeps into my everyday life. It really helps to put a name to these phenomena, because a vague background awareness of them can only go so far when it comes to trying to tackle them. It was difficult for me to watch this and go "yup, yup, yup" as you went down the list, but also very eye-opening. And it's helping push me in the direction of acknowledging what's really wrong and stepping up to work on that rather than resisting like I have for such a long time, thinking that therapy is brainwashing and social conditioning, etc. I'm 42 years old and I don't want to stay stuck in this place anymore, or come circling back around to it cyclically. Thank you kindly from the bottom of my heart.
Even if you do cycle back to same issues, remember to practice patience, compassion, kindness and love for yourself.
Thank you for sharing
I’m am so tired of conventional therapy and labels. Going to try indigenous therapy/medicine 🦉
Love this doctor and her explanation. Thank you
@@sayusayme7729 im tired of labels too. I believe whatever brings you comfort is a good plan honestly. One of my VA doctors was in a Native American family. I appreciated hearing different perspectives.
Dr. Nicole, you never cease to amaze me with your insights. I have always considered my strong suit the social world. I am ALWAYS watching everyone, especially when hosting events. I fixate on micro reactions, where people place their eye contact, their self awareness, my own. I used to think this made me highly socially intelligent, perhaps it still does, but I know this must be linked to trauma brain because I find that as I ask myself a lot of the questions you have offered to me, I am seeing that beneath I am easily exhausted around others... trying to manage everyone's feelings is too great a feat for one person. While my rational mind knows that it isn't my responsibility and it is a waste of energy to care, I still do. This has resulted in me being a lot more selective about who and how many people I spend my time with. This won't fix my mind, but maybe seeing this for what it is, social anxiety, will help forge the path ahead for more healing. If others reading this can relate, I hope you know that you aren't alone.
God can I relate to that. I thought I was a savant for being able to "feel" what every person was feeling in a room. Its exhausting and prevents me from being present.
Resonate so much.. I’ve never thought of my experience as trauma but it was. Thanks for your insight.
Exactly that's what I was trying to put into words thank you for penning down miss. Exactly ma'am. I've felt traumatized but to consciously realize the factof trauma brain 😇😇😇😇thankuu doctor
Oh wow. #1 ! Why I was obsessing over people I don't even like very much. It made 0 sense, but I was still doing it. Thank you for this.
My mother was killed when I was in the house when I was 13...25th anniversary this year hitting me like a ton of bricks. This video helped me. I will work on getting help very soon for this. Thanks for being you. I'm so thankful I found you.
So very sorry to hear this. I'm so glad that you found this video and I pray that you are able to heal. Best wishes.
@@Selena-tv9ge thank you! 😊❤
Once again, BRILLIANTLY explained. Sincere gratitude for your wisdom 🙏♥️
Thank you so much, Nena!
The Holistic Psychologist thank YOU ♥️
This describes me very well. I thought I was one of the only ones with this much of a traumatic brain or whatever, and just thought there was something very wrong with me. Very good video. Thank you. You make me feel less alone and less different.
Nicole, I want to cry tears of joy from watching this video. I felt so heard and understood about things that I thought were unique to only myself!! It’s amazing how trauma affects us isn’t it. Thank you and I’m now going to watch the reparenting video. 🤍🤍🤍
My ego judges me and blames me for having the thoughts that I am observing their presence. He tells me that I am still the same person and healing hasn't happened yet. What to do?
Work to practice observing these stories over and over again. With practice, you'll see them as separate from truth and have the ability to make a conscious choice beyond the story.
You label the EGO a He...
Interesting......
@@iamenough6958 he has a male name
@@iamenough6958 maybe his first language has genders for words :)
@@iamenough6958
Maybe he’s a male and that’s his inner monologue talking to himself in a way.
I relate to all of these. Some of them to a hugely uncomfortable degree. There was a lot of fidgeting and sweating palms, holding of the forehead, full breath sighs, and unnecessary wiping of my eyes. I felt an inner seething for that last one.
Tears in my eyes because I operate in my trauma brain. 💔 I Often wonder there are people ever in the world who are wildly confident in themselves and work about feeling secure naturally 😩
We deal with our fears differently. I suffer and manifest all those signs of brain trauma highlighted in the video. In many ways, I portray as a confident person, charming and loved. But I do very well hiding my fears, and use this image as a protective shell that hides my reality.
@Deep Inside thanks for coming here to troll
@@Nain1982 I agree, for me it came as the "jokey" person all the time, the one that can laugh about anything and not take life seriously or anything to heart.....until I realised it was me being a people pleaser hiding away my fear of judgement from others and my insecurities of not ever belonging.
I'm hooked on this channel. You are helping sooo many people harness their own power. And I absolutely how you talk about the relationship between the mind and body in the context of mental health. You rock. Thank you thank you thank you
5/5 wow!
Always knew I'd been through some rough things as a kid but didn't realize just how deep rooted my behaviors were because of trauma until this video. Tysm for this!
You are absolutely beautiful amazing soul!! Thank you so soooo much for not giving up, letting go, fighting through, processing your personal situations. The wisdom you share is only through your own #selfhealing🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ #selfhealer
Michelle, you're so sweet. I see you!
This is the best video on early trauma that I’ve ever watched. I’m now well on my way to healing from this but I’m sure this video will help those who are at an earlier stage of the journey. Thanks for the great content 🙏
Any stage really...
Probably the clearest whiteboard writing and best background on the net. Seriously though, this is so clear and well explained. Thank you!
I am 5/5 ; only learnt about the concept of trauma at the end of 2023 after a bad episode in life - I am 39 and everything makes so much sense now. At least I can start my healing journey. Thank you for work in bringing this awareness to us. Number 1 especially :(
I almost didn’t watch this because I thought “there’s no way any of this applies to me because I don’t think I’ve experienced anything terribly traumatic” and I read the points in the thumbnail and they apply so here I am...
Almost everyone experiences some kind of trauma. Some can handle it some can’t. This is to help handle it.
That's because she's moved the goalposts of what trauma means so far that a normal childhood with the typical stresses of life is considered "traumatic"
I used to do and feel all of these things- reprogramming and your work (and doing the work on myself!) has been amazing in seeing myself and how I experience life as opposed to even just a year ago. Thank you for what you do!
I am so grateful to have discovered your videos 💛
My entire body resonate with allllll of these!!!! So well. explained!! They go like arrows to tbs heart of the problem! I feel so validates right now! I can finaly alow myself to say to believe that i had trauma, cptsd, dissociation!!! Inner child-controlled-brain! These gifts I got from (severely abused and abusive parents to each other.) immature fighting parents both controlling and mentally absent parents. With severely psychologically nerve wrecking upbringing! I know that! And i am tired of this state of powelessnesss. I need to heal!!
I've never felt more comforted than the comments on this video. Thank you all for sharing and vulnerability...this is how the world will change
Can relate to everything, often times it seems there is no way out, but here you are with all your work, thank you for inspiration and hope!
You are most interesting
Keep it coming and spreading
People need this
Bloody hell, you just described in detail how my brain works 24/7
This is so helpful. I remember being so overwhelmed by my emotions, my parents didn't know how to regulate theirs either. It IS traumatic, I avoided feeling my emotions for years and I still struggle because I am afraid I can't control them if I let them out.
I’ve had a similar experience, especially being a highly sensitive intuitive. My emotions were so intense they frightened me and caused me to either withdraw from social interactions altogether, or create mostly shallow relationships with others that severely lacked in emotional intimacy. Thankfully I’m well on my healing journey now, and working towards consistently practicing self-regulation so that I can go out into the world and adventure freely like I had originally intended upon coming to Earth!
Thank you for the work you are doing here on youtube! My life also filled with traumatic moments...also a recent one. Good to just listening to your voice and I am thankful to feel that what I feel is normal....I just need to slow down, sometimes just rethink things and move along.
I can't believe I thought I was "over it". This video makes clear I have trauma brain. But I also see hope. TY Dr L! 💚
Thank you so much for this information. I do all 5 very frequently.
I feel like I couldn’t leave this video without saying, your hair looks amazing. Thank you for this video the work you’re doing is so beautiful 🙏🏼🤗
You are always on time. Thank you! This has been showing up and all 5 resonates.! I have trauma brain. I am going to show up differently. Thank you so much, i can’t thank you enough!
I lost many years having trauma, felt all the above mentioned😭. Now I'm healing 🙂. If there is someone like me, I want to say that u are not alone.❤️
I definitely have a trauma brain, I was already aware of some of this traits but you helped me a lot making me consider how I need to be show up in relationships
Nailed it on the head. I so resonate with this!
Hi Dr Nicole,
You're a miracle in my life. Thankyou for sharing all of this, I'm realising I've had trauma brain and even though there's the other video on self healing, I'm a little scared of going there yet.
I'm kinda trying to diagnose myself first.
I've done some terrible things while at the same time I'm a really amazing person, and the both do not sit together at all.
I think I've always had trauma brain and an empath in the hyoervigilance sense,
But I'm just starting to realise I don't have all things sorted as I thought I had. So thankyou very much for your content.
Im gonna leave as many comments and likes, so the algo helps you as much as I can.
Sorry I'm a little late... As soon as I read the title of the video, I knew right away the answer's yes. So I most definitely found this video helpful! Dr. Nicole , you rock! This is exactly what I needed right now. I will be sharing this video with others😇
Thank you so much blessings 💞
*I have to be there for me. I was little and abandoned. But I don't feel that (anymore) because I know I am going to be there for me... Here for me. I'm here for me. And good people do happen. And I'm gonna be OK*
I have ALL of these. The one that is most apparent is the comparison yet every single one resonates with me.
For example, I’ve recently set a goal for myself and now feel hatred for myself for not reaching that goal. And an acquaintance has same goal and achieved it and it feels like salt on my wound and it stings. I just want to eat junk food and watch TV and forget about my life and how much I hate myself and how I’m a loser.
I saw the "need for consistent distraction" and genuinely stopped and clapped a hand over my mouth. I've known for YEARS that this is my pattern. I've even said to others that I can tell when my depression is really flaring up because I'll dive headfirst into my MMO of choice (e.g. World of Warcraft) and just stay immersed for hours a day. I never correlated it with trauma, though.
I just found your Facebook page tonight, and I already feel raw, like I've been through a really eye-opening therapy session.
Seriously Nicole every time I go back and watch one of your older videos it's just... *chef's kiss* exactly what I need to hear in my healing journey. Thank you!!
Wow. Everything clicked. I love how you take the truth and its so reassuring instead of listening to all my fears.
I wanted to reach out and tell you you do a wonderful job of explaining things.
Wow, such a concise and impactful video. Thank you for the thoughtful and informed content. It’s so universal. It’s so needed.
I am a new subscriber and what I appreciate is the doctor is so open, honest, and vulnerable about her life experiences. It makes the information so real and helpful/useful. Thanks You!
This color looks amazing on you!!
you should do a video on how to heal/resolve the trauma'd brain...great to know...now time to heal...otherwise just stuck for life & majority of world is trauma's on some key level...really enjoy your videos...thxs :)
this is so insightful, thank you! really helped inform me more of the trauma I see in myself and in others.
I’m glad I’ve found this channel!
So true! Its such a different approach (underestimated) to trauma. Widely misunderstood.
You are fantastic! So happy I found you on my next step toward recovery. Thanks for sharing your gift. ✌️😁
The fact that this video was published in Jan of 2020, right as the world was beginning to learn about this far-away "novel virus" is such fortuitous timing for many.
Mind you, I'm not seeing this video until just shy of 4 years later, in mid-December of 2023, but the fact that some people got this information at such a critical time makes me very happy for humanity.
The self-sabotage point really hit me. Thanks for sharing this information.
Dr Nicole. Thank you for the video. I want to heal this trauma . I'm more aware now and I live my life intentionally. I do the work by feeding my mind with good stuff to change my negative thoughts with positive ones and I have good habits but I want to work on healing trauma brain. Actually I had tough childhood and I was in bad sick environment when I was a kid. I don't blame anyone and I know as an adult that I'm responsible for my life and for my own happiness.
Incredible helpful information thank you. The comments are also in many ways helpful and healing ❤
I am so grateful to have found you. I am literally watching all of your videos and taking notes to help myself healing from Trauma bonding, learn to re-parent my inner child, and understand my own thoughts and patterns. The way in which you explain the science behind the mind for regular people to understand it it's outstanding. We needed somebody like you. THANK YOU SO MUCH for explaining it in a way we can easily relate. God bless you 🙌🏻
This really resonated with me. I don’t think I’ve ever asked myself that first question ever in my life!!!
Absolutely resonates! Thank you so much! these videos really help me think more clearly and understand my life.
Hi, thank you so much for this video!It helped me being more comfortable with my trauma pain bodies and accepting you can't wish them away.
Every single indicator resonated with me...
Thank you for this. It comes at the right time. ❤
the way this list just described all of my issues....
PLEASE do a podcast on just this topic alone! 🙏🏾
Woah, feeling all of these in the past year and feeling frustrated as I can’t figure out where it’s coming from to move through it. Never had an issue with these points before but the emotional guidance makes sense
Awareness is the starting step to heal and thank you for helping us to become aware of these things. very powerful medicine!!
Wow. I've been following for a while, reading you post, doing the future self journaling and watching your videos. But this one hit me hard... About 1 year ago I had the 5 characteristics you described in this video. It's amazing the transformation I've had. I guess I over look my progress but it's way WAY better now. Thank you so much!!!!
How did you do it?
This is so encouraging to treat
read
Wow, can't wait to get to where you are, it's possible, yes!
I recently discovered you and I love you from the bottom of my heart! And I mean it! I love your soul! My little world makes more sense now. If I know what it is I can do something and you are giving me the tools, the meanings and the right words! I’m very grateful for you!🙏 much blessings ✨✨✨
#5 hit me big time!!! 🔥🔥🔥
Thank you for making this video!!!
I'm new to this channel and absolutely love it, so I'm really just commenting for the algorithm. 😅
Thank you! I have been looking for the world's to describe the way I feel and you have given me that. I am grateful for you💖
Thank you, what you are saying is so insightful.
Every single one of these points I feel every day and it’s crazy to see it in words
I spent almost my entire life feeling and doing these things. I dis suffer a lot of trauma. It was only a couple years ago I finally woke up as to why I was the way I was. It's been a long process to self heal. Still working on it.
I just discovered your channel. Thank you from Italy!
Really really great vid. I was diagnosed with c-ptsd and worked a lot on it in intensive therapy. Still, I learned so much from this!
Please make a video on Maladaptive daydreamingand Depersonalization Disorder--How to overcome it??
Wow. I didn’t know this was a thing. Makes so much sense.
Wow. Nicole, thank you from the bottom of my heart for this video. I experience all 5 daily. I have been self healing for a year now but have never come across the term trauma brain. This helps so so much.
Resonate hard with a lot of these. ❤️
Thank you, again&again. Billy-Jean
You basically described me 😫 I've been trying to work on myself this year and take responsibility to parent myself as my parents didn't have the right tools to do so. I naturally find myself doing all these things...
It’s called the trauma of the person/personality. We are the self, pure awareness. But good to know 🌈
This reminds me of my past relationship. I so resonate with this as it's what I am presently experiencing and didnt realise it. Thanks to much for this eye opener
Wow! This is definitely me. Especially the distraction I wonder why I constantly want to be on my computer on social media and youtube. I have such a hard time with just being.
As soon as I heard the accent I knew it was Philly! Great content as well!!!
I just found your channel, and this video hits home so much. I am truly grateful for the knowledge you are sharing. Thank you!
Well. I’ve been feeling stuck, not necessarily “bad” but feeling “good” comes in brief moments, so I assumed that I was fine backing off my therapy appointments to once every two months because I didn’t have any changes to report to my therapist and it felt like I was just talking to them about the same things, which heavily revolve others’ behavior and I know I can’t change that. But seeing this and realizing that my brain has been doing this even though I *thought* I was getting better at self-care…maybe I’m not. I’m still feeling the unending craving for praise and affection but also feeling like I’m not good enough for it, that I have to keep being “helpful” and “productive” or no one will like me, but then I’m constantly tired and burnt out and I get ashamed and sad that I’m not doing any of the fun hobbies I used to love and do daily. I’ll have to talk to my therapist about this because clearly I’ve not been looking at myself as deeply as I thought.
I think this is a great video. Thank you very much. Believe I'm on third base running home on my healing journey :)
This is literally me all the time... this is so great!