Story one: I'm so confused. OP and his wife are incapable of caring for their healthy children if one is sick? You can take care of his twin, but not your oldest, who's able to do certain things for herself? YTA and so is your wife
Yeah, op was projecting super hard and sounds insufferable. Sam sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders and her reasoning is how most people would prefer it. Op was just a hit dog hollering since she’s unhappy with her own life.
With the edit though she doesn't sound too great either. I'm gonna have to go with a slight ESH. More heavily on OP's side and with Sam being a bit of an AH.
Good lord you didn't even call to check in on your daughter and the wife had past behaviors of singling out Amy from the family? 🤦🏻♀️ poor Amy she deserves better parents
Story 1 boils my blood. That poor child. I won’t let anybody in mine or my husbands family treat my oldest different. We were a package deal from the get go. Point blank period.
Mine too, 4 days in hospital and grandpa called 7th day what the hell he is doing. My youngest was unexpected in the hospital 3 year ago (appendix) my oldest then 13 had a sleepover by her friend. My boyfriend took her home at 12 pm, she was crying because she was worried about her little sister. I think Amelia had the same worry about her little brother, and he didn't even badr to give her an update. Iam so mad about this, that poor girl.
@@paulinadeboer3604 worse, she thinks she is being abandoned because dad and stepmother have new babies to replace her. Imagine her trauma after her mom has already died.
Step-mother is turning out to be a horrid, hateful, narcissistic sow of a step-parent for Amelia. OP needs to get his cranium removed from his posterior orifice, and either make his new wife see that Amelia is a part of the family, or drop the wife like she was "Little Boy" over Hiroshima.
Honestly the only thing he done wrong is not checking up on her regularly whilst she was at her grandparents. My mom used to do this but she would call in and ask for updates and give updates. Taking the child to the hospital with u everyday isn’t really an option and unrealistic. She could get stressed out seeing op and his wife stressed out, traumatised herself more.
@@babycakez8070 sorry but whar did they do with the brother. And this kid ain't a child, it's a teen. They don't want to be left out at something like this. The child was in hospital only for 4 days let that sink in! The let her by the grandparents a whole week. They had to get her when he got out of the hospital. And if they could not ask grandparents to bring her, maybe decorate the house. This is neglect.
2:39 This stepmom sucks. BIG TIME. “Oh, you’re going to see your daughter so she doesn’t think we set her aside for the new babies?? What a PERFECT opportunity to make this ALL ABOUT how well the new babies are doing!!” B*tch this is not about your babies!! OP needs to throw his partner back into therapy. Round One clearly didn’t work. And until he’s ready to stick up for and prioritize his daughter as much as he does his sons, that little girl needs to stay with Grandma and Grandpa. How long do we think it’ll be before the parentification begins? Five years? Maybe three? Before Amelia has to start “putting her siblings first” because “they’re FAMILY”
Story 1: YTA. At BARE MINIMUM you should have called daily with updates. Not only for your parents but your Daughter. I don’t blame them for being mad at you!
If I remember correctly the dad did call Amelia for about an hour each day so they could eat lunch together, but he passed out from exhaustion the last day, so didn't get to call her
@@petals3091 'been crying for a few days, especially since I didn't even bother to call yesterday' unless it's buried in the comments, that's not once a day. Passed out from exhaustion? Let me tell you something - two of my kids were hospitalized in two different hospitals 50 miles apart before the common use of cellphones and all THREE got MY time in person daily after I myself was out of the ICU. This guy's a deadbeat. Stop defending him.
@@pansprayers not defending, I think it was the wrong decision to leave her there for more than a day or two and not going to visit her on top of that. I was just giving information that was not in the video
@@pansprayers but that also makes me wonder what is happening with OP's wife especially because of said that she started showing favoritism when the kids weren't even born yet, could they be purposely excluding Amelia for their "ReAl FaaMilyyyy" and if Amelia has realized that's what's happening.
This happened over a decade ago, but my dad did something similar. During my mom's last week 😢, my dad had us basically holding a vigil on Sunday evening. My cousin drove my oldest sister home, while my middle sister overnighted on the couch. On Monday the hospice nurse told us that mom wasn't ready to go yet. On Thursday my middle sister called to tell me she needed a break, so since I hadn't gotten a break that week, dad gave me Friday and Saturday. On Friday I stopped by my oldest sister's place to see her and she handed me a list of questions. The theme of those questions made me realize that she thought our mom had died, and that nobody had told her. I immediately told her that mom was still alive and she burst into tears 😢😭. When I told my dad that he should have called her and told her that mom was still living he said "I thought no news was good news." My aunt proceeded to rip him up one side and down the other.
I'm sorry, but he "had no right" to kick guests out of his wedding for disrespecting his wife? This is one of the most WTF levels of delusion I've ever heard.
Story 1: YTA - How do you leave your tween at Grandpa's when her sibling is sick and not AT LEAST call in daily to make sure she's doing okay and to update her on her brother? You did abandon your daughter in favor of your new family. Your Dad is right.
I'm willing to be ops wife manipulate op into not calling or seeing the daughter. Like they get home from a hospital trip and she ask him for this or that keeping him bussy till he just either passes out, it's too late for a call or just forgot due to stress and being over worked. I'm putting more blame on the manipulative wife then on op.
I agree I would not be surprised if she decides to cut ties with him this can mean she won't let him near her during big events in her life and has someone toss him out
@@Yume10605 I agree. One of the commenters brought up a good point- if Colin was allowed to remain at home, why wasn't Amelia? It makes complete sense for Amelia to be wherever Colin is since they could have offered comfort and continuity to each other while Bastian was being looked at. And the wife wanting to delay the trip to see Amelia when all of them could come... Way to attempt a power move/United front while she's doing the most to ice out Amelia.
Regarding the story about the female best friend being preferred by the OP's family over his actual wife- I would be willing to bet that the best friend always had romantic feelings for the OP and thought there would always be time- to wait for the right moment to try and is now freaking out because her chance is gone.
Story 2 I knew a couple who were completely the opposite in temperament and interests but the loved each other. When they married they agreed they would wait for seven years before they had children just to make sure they could make their marriage work. When I met them they had been married for 18 years and had 3 children.
I did something similar. Now I am old and failing health with young children dependent on me. Seriously, some of my old classmates have grandchildren older than my youngest.
some of the better relationships i have seen in my life are people that balance eachother, in one case both families were sure it wouldnt work and pressured them to wait to have kids and kept doing it eventually they asked their friends for our honest opinions... "you have been a couple since highschool, have never wavered of faltered, fuck your idiot parents perspective, you 2 have been an old married couple since highschool, listen to us when we say this, for the..i have lost count how many times its been, f-their hangups, sure you bicker and fight.. but.. we have never seen you have a genuine fight... it always turns into you bickering till its so absurd you both are laughing as you try and figure out how to escilate that shit to even more absurd levels" they got 6 kids between them... and bicker flirt all the damn time... they are also one of the most healthy couples i have known... genuinely are eachothers, other half... "find somebody whos damage aligns well with your own, and make babies" as the old saying goes... LOL..
1. That poor girl. Thank goodness she has good grandparents. Grandad was right and I hope Amelia can find a way to stay with them forever if she can. 'My wife says we should wait longer' OH CHRIST IN A MANGER! 2. Sam is so sensible and was only thinking about her kids and how much better their life will be if their parents have a stable life. OP is so jealous and mad. 3. 'A strain on your friendship' DUDE SHE WAS NEVER YOUR FRIEND. You took way too long to put up boundaries with that crazy lady. Do better next time. 4. Consider some therapy about why you're so angry about being single. That poor guy seems so sweet but I hope he lets his sister know she can do better. 5. You are not obligated to fix the mess that someone else made of your life. Avoid these people like the plague because they will only drag you down.
But how was she supposed to know that her coworker knew? I think that he should have said that he was asking for his sister instead of saying that it was for a friend because he knew that she was gay
@@alphawolf2157 She never let him finish though, he was trying to explain and she over reacted. Also, why would you assume that his friend was automatically a guy? He never specified their gender.
@@alphawolf2157 He didn't say it was for a friend, she jumped to that conclusion just like she jumped to the first conclusion that he was asking for himself.
YTA, as is your wife. My heart broke for Amelia while reading this. I can't imagine how heartbroken she must have felt; being stuck there for a week with no idea what was going on and crying and wondering if she did something to make her father abandon her. Maybe she should actually live with her grandparents, since they've shown more concern and support for her than you have. Either that or kick your two-faced wife to the curb since apparently therapy didn't get through to her before. You better believe this won't be the only time she does something like this to your daughter, and probably won't be the only time she convinces you to go along with it.
I lived through a different but similar situation. I'm was the oldest of 3. I was 7. Dad was in jail so mom had to get a job and baby sitter for my younger bros. I went live with my grandma. Her nephews went to high school near my elementary school. They would drop me off at school and pick me up after school. I would eat supper at their house and stay til grandma got home from work. I was young and don't remember much from that time, but I still wonder why I was sent away.
Story 2: YTA - Yeah, raising kids IS easier with a partner and a stable roof over your head. You're JEALOUS of your friend for waiting, and projecting your own values onto her choices. You overstepped, and deserved everything you got, including her hubby thanking imaginary sky daddy for not being your spouse. I agree. You acted like a holier than thou B.
Hell, just having a *partner* you can rely on. My parents were in a cricket-infested apartment and Dad had just started school again because he'd lost his job and thought maybe getting a degree in teaching would be a good idea when I was born. But they were *married* and devoted to each other. Dad changed diapers and watched me when he was home so Mom could get a break. He was also rather clueless and tended to burst through the door with a *"HONEY, I'M HOME!"* when he got back from school. Inevitably right after Mom had *finally* gotten me to sleep. If looks could kill, Dad would've been *ash.* Still, they were 110% devoted to each other and still are 40 years and another five pregnancies later, three of which resulted in live births.
Story 3: NTA. You handled everything about this the right way. They all had plenty of warnings to knock it off but they didn’t because they weren’t counting on making good on your warnings. Your a good man OP.
Story 4: notice how she only changed her tune once she realized that she screwed up a potential relationship opportunity, not when she put that man's career at risk.
I think I heard this story on another channel. OP found the co-worker's sister's SM & has been communicating with her, not saying anything about the falling out with her brother. OP is an AH and a creep.
OMG, poor Amy! OP didn't even call her after he & his wife decided to leave her with her grandparents for another day? Maybe Amy should move in with her grandparents permanently. At least they seem to care about her. Story 2: OP behaved like a brat. Story 3: Yikes! Good on OP. I hope he and his new wife go NC with all of them.
As a single mom… having money does make certain aspects of raising children. Good lord op in that story needs a reality check. It may not guarantee that it will be perfect but it helps. Stability and security are very important to raising children.
Then provide it yourself! How does a man provide anything when YOU are dependent upon him for everything. Grow up and be accountable and responsible for your own actions. To do otherwise makes you a HORRIBLE parent. As a single woman I have fostered 3 children and adopted 1. Stop being a victim and start being a woman. YOU CANNOT BE BOTH.
@@paintedpony2935 first let’s get one thing straight. I am the provider for my children dad has be MIA for 6 years. It is not wrong to say extra money and everyday help would reduce stress especially since my two are autistic. I do everything and joyfully because their smile and laughter heal my soul. If op’s friend wanted things in a specific order before she started having children it is her purgative and I say that she is making decisions she feels would be in the best interest of her child. It is a personal decision and she doesn’t deserve to be judged for it. 2 parents (whatever gender) is helpful period. So get a grip. NO ONE was playing the victim. Just saying that she seems like she is badgering her friend because she is making a different decision and might be projecting her insecurities because she made different decisions. Another point is do what’s right for you and don’t judge others for making different decisions. You might want to ask clarifying questions before attacking someone. Try maturing a bit before you attempt to engage in civil discourse.
Story 3: imagine being very jealous and not coming to terms with it. Having a house, a degree, a stable job, money, and a marriage DO make it easier. Based on studies. Obviously, some people don't have everything. And that's fine as long as they are able to provide basic needs for the kids. But these things do make it easier. And a healthy relationship is also very much necessary. Of course, children of divorcees, broken homes, and ONS manage---but typically not without trauma. Having two parents in a stable and healthy relationship has been proven to be ideal (be it M+W, WLW, or MLM---just two parents is the optimal dynamic).
It’s funny cause the way I heard it being told was OPs friends was saying that waiting for marriage means everything will be easier and happily ever after. And she was saying this to her friend that had a kid and was getting mare after the fact. The comment section jumps in with OP is the AHole but the truth is I know plenty of people who have kids after marriage and they hate it and I know plenty that are not married and have a much better life. In other words being stable like OPs friends is smarter but thinking Happily Ever After is dumb.
@@FirstChronus OP specifically said that her friend should not have waited until she had a marriage and a house to try for kids--basically saying that trying for a financially stable two-parent household from the get-go was dumb because it might not work out. How does that make any sense? How is it NOT easier to have 2 adults rather than one when there's an infant around? How is it not easier when both parents have good jobs? As for the stars in her friend's eyes, since when is that unusual or even dumb for a newlywed? If you don't have a few stars in your eyes at the beginning of the marriage, good luck making it through the tough times.
@@Daniko2 re-read what I wrote. I never said it was easier and neither did OP. Your writing based on feelings. Also a “few stars in you eyes” isn’t the same as “happily ever after”. It’s obvious OP and her friend are Frienamies.
@@FirstChronus I think you might need to re-read. I didn't write that you or OP said it was easier to have kids as a single parent: I pointed out that OP argued that their friend shouldn't have waited for marriage and a house before trying for kids--on the grounds that it might not work out. OP specifically said "I told her having a house and husband didn't mean she shouldn't have started". Awkward phrasing might make that statement need a second to parse, but that is an outright statement that OP's friend should not have hesitated to start trying for kids just because they did not yet have a house and husband. And that is a ridiculous argument for the reasons I pointed out above. Sure the marriage might not work out, but it's far more likely that certain struggles can be minimized in a two-parent household. Also, I don't know where you get "writing based on feelings" from. There's nothing in this story that clearly states OP's friend expected happily ever after just because the friend waited to have a house and husband. The friend pointed out differences that already exist. The friend is already in a less stressful, more financially stable, and better professional place than OP was, because they did not try for kids while single and not finished with school. In the worst-case scenario, OP's friend will still have a that degree and better job, as well as whatever asset split occurs in a divorce. That's not expecting happily-ever-after. That's pointing out the reasons that OP's advice to have not waited did not make a whole lot of sense. You're probably right that OP and friend are frenemies--or if they aren't already, they're well on their way to becoming so.
Final Story: NTA. Luck can only take you so far. You found a good family, you made your own life better. The best they are doing is sicking their kids on you to shame you.
Story 4: And this is exactly why just being 'Uncomfortable' is such a horrible standard when it comes to Harassment. Because she admitted that if she knew it was for his sister she would have been welcoming. Because she thought it was for him, she decided to try to screw his career over by going to her boss.
Toxic misandrist that op was. She already was Triggered by her own assumption and only felt that she lost that moment but didn't apologize to the guy. No wonder shes still single.
like the comic strip with the handsome guy and the fat ugly guy giving compliments to a woman in the work place, one was a kind gesture and the other and HR visit
He wasn't affected, from what it sounds like. And with the amount of men who decide they can 'fix' a lesbian, she was acting from a place of protecting herself.
@@cursedwithsetience4017 except he was affected. If your boss pulls you aside for a sexual harassment claim that typically goes in your file regardless. She didn’t even let him explain, she overreacted. And since she admitted if she knew she wouldn’t have responded that way, puts her entirely in the wrong. I ben if she was straight or a guy this was overreacting.
@@cursedwithsetience4017 He was affected (talk with boss, harassment recorded in his file, having to change shifts to avoid her), and she reacted under the belief that he didn't know she was a lesbian.
Story 1- Hi. I'm the younger half-sibling in this scenario, my brother being exactly 12 years older than me. Do you know where my parents would have taken him? Fucking with them! Poor girl is worried about her brothers, thinks her parents hate her, and neither of her parents are doing anything to help! God, I can only imagine how much therapy the poor thing is gunna need by the time she's 18...
Story 1: OP, you fail at communication with your daughter. I can understand why you left her with your parents for a week, I´ve been in Amelia´s stead years ago. My 3 y.o little brother got sick, my 8 months old little sister was too young to be separated from our mom, and my parents were stretched too thin to take care of all three of us, so an 11 years old me was sent to my uncle and aunt. It was supposed to be only for a week, but my brother hadn´t gotten better after than so I ended up away for more than two weeks. But the difference was, my parents kept me (and aunt and uncle) well informed. It was the time before smartphone, or even cellphone at all, but my parents always made sure to call my aunt for at least once a day and me at least every two days. They told me how my brother was doing, apologizing for not being able to come sooner, and asked how my day was. That really make a difference because I knew I wasn´t being abandoned, that my parents wanted me there too, but truly can´t.
Stpry 2: did OP just say that having a house and more money doesn't make raising kids easier? 🤣🤣🤣 And I agree with the commenter that said by her logic no one should have kids. It absolutely DOES sound like that.
Agree!! OP's just jealous that her baby dad was a loser who ditched her so instead of being happy for her friend she has to make it about her!! I mean so her friend waited till she had a good carer, stable relationship and home before having kids.... that's a GOOD thing!!! And responsible imo so you don't have a child you CANT afford!!! OP literally picked this fight for no reason as she can't just be happy that her friends life worked out the way she would have wanted hers to.
@@Miltz69 Yup. Bitterness, jealousy, and condescension were all dripping from every word she wrote. I hope Sam decides she doesn't need this "friend" in her life.
story 1: YTA, at a bare minimum you should have called and told them that the 2 days would be extended but better then that you should have gone and got here, you can watch a baby and your other child, she's 12 not 2 she can be fine without constant supervision just the occasional check to see she's fine.
Congratulations you allowed this woman to manipulate you again and hurt your daughter again. Have cup of coffee and wake up honey Mommy dearest doesn't want the old child around. God bless this poor child and when she grows up and you don't ever see her again this is why. You are destroying her self-esteem and South worth
PSA: When someone asks you if you're single and you don't want to answer directly, try, "Thanks, but my plate's a little full right now." It evades the question while expressing your unavailability in a non-threatening manner.
Or...you could just say, "Yeah, but I've just been so busy with life stuff/job/college/etc that I don't have any time/room for relationships right now. Direct answer, but also a reason why you don't want to date them specifically.
Story 2: YTA, ah, can you smell the jealousy in the air or is it just me? Story 3: YTA for not cutting Marry off waaaaaay earlier and for not having put up propper boundaries, I mean, why the fuck was Marry doing in the wedding anyway?
I don’t think so. Yes they were wrong for not even calling her to check up, but I can see why. Being worried about an inconsolable infant at the hospital is a lot to worry about at once, but again they should have at least called her.
@@goodmooneung totally and this will continue, they are sick? leave amy with grandpa, kids have something at school? grandpa. poor girl and stepmom ""lets take the babies to show them they are okey" this is not the moment for that. my family had had serious incidents and never ever leave without explain or calling specially if you are a kid.
I understand the baby was sick but how do you forget to pick up your other kid and not even make a phone call to let anyone know what's going on? They have scarred that little girl. For a long time she will be wondering what she did and why they didn't want her anymore.
Story 1: “something in his stomach” anyone else thinking the mom may have caused the issue to begin with? I wouldn’t leave her alone with any of the kids. She isn’t a good person just based on how she is treating the daughter.
Considering toddlers like putting things in their mouths that don't belong there I'll wait for a second reoccurrace from either twin before I make a judgment on that.
@@nightigal op says infant sons, no age mentioned. You are assuming they are toddlers. Or am I missing information? I haven’t read the actual Reddit story. So I’m going on what information was given. Edit: 7 months so maybe crawling. I’m still suspicious.
@@nightigal you are good! I had to go back and look because I thought I had missed part of it. They don’t read the ages but sometimes they will show it. I was just listening and didn’t realize that OP gave the age. It’s enough suspicion that it worries me. Just the way OP talks about how his wife treats his daughter. She wants all attention on their sons.
I don’t know how the first OP can claim to care at all about his daughter when he totally abandoned her for a week. Didn’t drop in to see her, not even a video or phone call. Unbelievable. This poor girl. I hope her grandparents check in on her frequently. I wouldn’t be surprised if the OP forgets to feed her for days on end because the golden sons have all of their attention.
This is awesome that you found your family. Thank goodness for you. They are not your responsibility. Not the idiot. Not the truth.. Keep them away from you. Report the lack of care of the younger children.
So OP basically left his own daughter at his parents and just forgot about her for a whole week. Yet cannot see why people are mad at him for it. I calling it right now, he is gonna be back here in a few years wondering why is daughter cut all contact with him after she moves out. And i hope she does, too. At least her grand parents are backing her up.
Good Grandparents/Parents right there. Telling their son is a gigantic idiot for leaving his child and making him do the right thing by making him explain it to the child rather than them. Too bad their own Son turned out that way.
The wedding story: OP did what he was *supposed* to do. Protect the new wife against attack from the "family" and that toxic female friend that they love so much.
Lmaooo at tha lesbian wondering if she's tha idiot. Even if he was tryna ask her out. Seemed respectful enough. "I'm not interested " is never a non-rude answer to that question. Off rip?? Come on
Yes because if someone said that and then you proceeded to stop the person tell them it for a friend and their still not interested and tell them what's your problem. You would be getting uncomfortable or mad.
@@cursedwithsetience4017 - Do you know the amount of lesbians that are in emotionally and physically abusive relationships? His sister dodged a bullet.
I am a bisexual woman, and that story about a lesbian made me so angry, people nowadays are so sensitive that they assume everyone wants to date them without even a hint of what the person was going to say. And what's more enraging is that when she heard that his sister us a lesbian too and a potential partner she changed her tune but still wanted a apology. No wonder she is single, no one wants such a toxic insecure partner lesbian or not.
Story 4: Really wish the train wreck of an update was added. She reached out to the sister on Instagram, got her phone number, and has been chatting her up. She says the sister doesn't know OP's connection to her brother and she'll "cross that blown up bridge somehow when i get to it". Op developed feelings for her, the truth came out, and now OP's blocked.
Co-Worker Story: YTA. 100%. Op was completely in her right to turn down any date offer. The problem is she showed up to the question pre-offended. The co-worker wasn't at all unreasonable. He asked her a question and then tried to clarify, but before he could, OP became rude. Co-worker asks why she's being rude, OP then upgrades yo being both rude and insulting. At this point, the co-worker finally shoots back with something to defend himself and gives up trying to clarify, because he doesn't want to subject his sister to this kind of stupidity. OP is so offended that a guy said one mildly unkind thing to her ("I see why you're single") after she was rude, aggressive and insulting to him that he brought him up to HR. And expected him to apologize to her, and wondered why he wasn't talking to her or no longer setting her up with his sister. OP assumed the worse, and like the saying goes, made an ass out of herself.
ikr? Guy barely spoke 2 sentences and she went after his job. He's doing the smart thing getting away from her if she's that volatile and self-absorbed. It took 2 people telling her she was way out of line before she even considered she _might_ be slightly guilty of being a huge tool.
@@yaqbulyakkerbat4190 Not even that. It took her supervisor telling her that she screwed-up her chance at a relationship with his sister before she realized that she might've been a huge tool. Before that, she was sitting on her high horse looking down at him, expecting him to apologize.
She is married and in a stable situation. That sounds like a reasonable time to start kids. Also having a partner and financial stability 100% makes having kids easier. It doesn’t make it a picnic but it is always easier not worrying about affording food and basic for your child and having someone else to help with the hard stuff.
Co-worker story YTA!! and made me laugh when OP realised he wanted to set her up with his sister as she then cared more about the "missed opportunity" than how she MASSIVELY overeacted and treated the poor guy!! Sounds like they HAD a friendship so him asking "are you single" and then "its not for me" is an honest question that OP could have replied to politely (without outing herself) instead of going 0-100000000% and not only insulting the guy but putting his job at risk by reporting him. I don't blame him for blocking OP and switching shifts to avoid OP and keeping it purely professional and agree his statement "no wonder you're single" so I wouldn't even try and get anywhere near OP's personal crap!! Also I'd warn the sisters; just in case OP decides to try and contact them on sm; as she sounds desperate enough to do so
@@liwiathan Uhh... yes she would. They were, as she claimed, work buddies. It's not wrong to ask a work-buddy if they were interested in after work drinks, dinner, whatever, to explore if they could be buddies outside of work as well, and possibly even more than that. Why should this be wrong? How did you think people met and dated people before GRINDR or TINDR or whatever these hooking-up apps are called? The only way dating/hookups at work can be wrong is when a) the one coming on to you is more powerful than you and is using this to pressure you into a relationship/hookup you don't want or b) when you say 'no' and s/he doesn't take that for an answer. Just saying 'hey, we're kinda friends at work, wanna go grab some coffee/grub/a movie sometime' is NOT a crime.
Story1: Gigantic YTA. What the hell kind of parent abandons their kid for a week, without a word??? I'm glad his father gave him the chewing out he so richly deserves! Sounds like OP has turned into a giant simp for his new wife. Shame on him. And since she's the only mother Amelia's ever known, shame on her too!
Xena background: YTA on so many levels. First he asked off company time even took a few steps back to show he had no I'll will. OP went and snitched to HR. He went to great lengths to avoid her. Dude straight up changed not only his location but his hours too. She still tried to reach out because his sister is hot. He blocked her. Then OP still tried to get with his sister. Apparently OP is so lacking in social skills that she doesn't understand that "don't speak often" doesn't mean bad relationship. She contacts the sister directly disregarding that she could potentially be damaging their relationship. I hope the guy tells his sister about the crazy at work he tried to set her up with from his job but she instead got him in trouble. God no wonder she's single with so few friends. I hope sister finds out who OP is and what she did and blocks her stalker butt. If this is real which I doubt
@@owenfautley Everyone says that, but I haven't even found any evidence the thread ever existed. I'm starting to think someone faked the story and others just rolled with it.
S1: Limited cars. I was working as a caretaker for my ungrateful hag of a grandmother to eliminate stress from my mother who was her full time caretaker back then. I worked weekends, would be brought home Sunday evening. Well Sunday turned to Monday, Monday turn to Thursday until I ended up living with her. My father pretty much took advantage of me watching his mom even more so when my own mother was hospitalized with pneumonia. I didn't get to leave much. Always stuck there to the point where I'd cry because of the summer heat in the poorly non-insulated house with no wind or a/c except her room, barely being paid. Upon hearing that he just dropped her off, then days passed had me thinking back to it and how I felt I was tossed out while relatives didn't care or worry on ME. 20 some years ago and it still boils my blood on stories like this. Dude, you want resentment? You're gonna get it.
Last Story: OP never asked his best friend's mom to take care of him. It only worked out the way it did bc they formed a bond naturally and were able to give and receive love from eachother without expectation. Not once did OP speak of all the money she had. He spoke in great detail about the stability, guidance and family bond. That is what changed his life. OP can't give his siblings what they are asking for, they have to choose to be good parents.
Can we also mention that he was the second YOUNGEST out of seven kids? The story doesn’t mention the age spread, but I can’t imagine having the youngest taking care of the OLDER siblings and their brood. Sounds to me they were waiting to see if SOMEONE in the family would “make it”, and then hit them up if they did.
First paradox a child has to learn is this. Who are the only people you can count on? Family. Who are the first ones to duck you over? Family. Making it compared to his siblings is not a high bar. He may have a more stable life compared to them. Doesn’t mean he has a ton of money to support even one of his nieces and nephews. No need to set himself on fire 🔥 to keep them warm. They would watch him to burn to ash and continue the “woe is me” crap.
If amelia/amy is both your real daughter, will your now wife let her stay away for that long? I guess not! Cause if you're a real mother, whatever happens, you can't sleep nicely if you're not complete as a family!!!
This guy didn't go to pick her up ASAP because his wife? This isn't a casual visit it's already tense between the grandparents, husband and the child without her strolling through the door to make it all about her babies. She is upset that she can't bring the babies when the whole point is to bring the daughter back home because she hasn't seen her family in a week.
Story 2: OP is the AH because it basically looked like she was raining on Sam's parade about her seemingly logical and reasonable choices. Many people try to go that straight path but life happens. No one is saying it's a 100% guarantee that a marriage will last and you'll have a home forever but both of those things are highly recommended before having children. OP was definitely being pessimistic and getting defensive. I didn't understand the point of her saying all of that to Sam 1 month after she got married and trying for a child after getting her stuff together. 😒
I mean, in a way I agree with the OP, you shouldn't plan that you will always be happily married, especially a month in. If you're really trying to be sensible, you might want live a couple of years together to move forward with kids. Sam's a little too sure she outplanned life and I think that surety reads as criticism directed at women who didn't plan like herself. She'll fit in perfect in the mommy groups, tho!
@@Kimberly_Sparkles It's how OP was saying it which made her TA imo. She stated that having a house and a good income doesn't make raising a kid easier, which a lot of studies disprove. They definitely alleviate problems and give one a peace of mind. She just came off bitter and ignorant. I understand she was likely voicing her concerns for her friend but she could have phrased things better.
I think it was the child free wedding that caused the issue, since OP would've had to find a babysitter to attend. She accepted it at the time as she thought they didn't want any children of their own, but that immediately changed once the baby talk started. Newly wed likely doesn't fuss or show any interest in the 2 year old either, so that conversation would've come as a surprise.
Nope, not needed. There are plenty of perfectly happy, healthy single by choice parents out there who rent. Blanket statements and absolutes are logical fallacies.
@@pansprayers Teacher here. There is a distinct difference between my students who are being raised by single parents vs those from a two parent home. It may not be necessary for a parent to get by but it definitely is better for the child in terms of social and mental development to have two parents. It also helps for children to have more space to grow depending on the size of the family.
I love how after OP reports her coworker to HR for asking her a question, not only does she expect an apology, she expects her coworker to still want to be friends with her. What OP did could have gotten the coworker FIRED. Yes OP YTA, i understand you have issues with men, but this wasn’t a random man catcalling you on the streets, this was a coworker who, per your story, you were at least friendly with. You overreacted big time and YOU should apologize to him.
Why did he go radio silent after going for the jugular of his job when a simple no I'm sorry I'm not interested would have been fine? Surprised Pikachu face
And correct me if I am wrong, but she is still in the closet right. I mean, she said she is out to only a handful of friends, and no one else knows. That sounds like in the closet. And she was surprised that the co-worker knew and wanted to know how he knew. It sounds like she wants men to treat her like they know she is a lesbian, without them knowing she is a lesbian, and being offended when they don't treat her how she thinks she should be treated. I can see why she has trouble talking to men.
@@ruthmeow4262 no, she expects to be treated like a human being in the work place. Your work place isn't the place to play match maker, especially if you AREN'T close enough to let it be known that you're LGBTQ. I'm bi. My relationship status is mine to disclose when I decide, not yours to ask. Just asked my husband if HE thought it was an appropriate question to ask anyone, his answer was, 'fuck no, that's their business'. It's EXHAUSTING to be constantly asked if you're single. It has nothing to do with her sexuality, everything to do with appropriate behaviour, and is literally none of anyone's business.
@@pansprayers But being a man hater is ok? It's ok to treat the man no like a human and jump all over him? The lady didn't even hear him out. Just jump all over him (like you are btw) and then wondered why he wants nothing to do with her? I won't want to deal with that ether. She could have got him fired over this. So him leaving her alone and running for it seem fair to me. But sure the LGBTQ the one that wasn't treated like a human. Also what this bs about not finding good people where you work? Are you for real? I know lots of people that meet their SO in the work place. You are right that it not anyone business about sexuality but that goes both ways hun. Why couldn't the girl just have said no to dating someone? Asked why he asked and then found out why without jumping all over him? Or you know if he did want to date her then she could have just said no without say why and they could have stayed work friends. Why did she need to jump him?
Story one: Amelia is in for a bumpy road ahead of her, i for her mental health. Of she’s already noticing the way she’s being treated now, she’ll be able to see it more clearly and understand why when she’s older. I can see her going no contact with her father one day. Might as well start calling her Cinderella as that’s how her stepmother treats her. The fact the wife was mad he wanted to pick up his child earlier says it all. He and wife are both AHs and im so happy his parents are at least responsible and good people and I’m sure they will continue to support his daughter. His father was right to call him a deadbeat, screw parents who favor their new families over their children.
Umm.... having a stable living situation, does help with having kids. Having money helps with that stability, as does home ownership and being in a committed relationship.
@@vampire9545 That’s because women didn’t really have much say in the home or with finances. Heck, a woman in America couldn’t even have their own bank account in their name until the late 60’s and wives/mothers were considered dependents and husbands/fathers the breadwinners until the mid 70’s. Now it’s easier for women to leave bad situations and not have to jump into a bad marriage to survive.
@@AllieOopsTK Actually it was 1970, when women could own a bank account alone. A man raping his wife wasn't a crime in the USA until the 1990s. When my mom learned I was engaged in 1999, the first thing she did was open a joint savings account with me and a joint safety deposit box with official copies of all my important documents(because it's joint, untouchable in a divorce). I supported my late husband (he was crippled in an accident), our infant daughter (7mo at time of accident) and myself on $500 a month for three years. Then we got SSD and SSI. I was a better mother when less stressed. A year after that we got a substantial settlement. Our life was finally stable, and we were all happier and felt safer.
2nd op ‘ I’m not bitter and defensive I’m just a single mother who lives in an apartment who took issue with my friend waiting to try for kids for…some other reason. ‘
I hate it when people make a statement like "We're ready to have kids." and the listener turns it around to "Are you saying WE weren't ready to have kids?" I think that what story 2 was doing. She got her nose out of joint because she took her friend saying she was ready to have kids to be an insult to the way she did things. Talk about projecting. That OP is definitely the AH.
Story 1: they leave her alone for a week, after already knowing she’s insecure about having new babies in the house, and they can’t even call, can’t go check in with her at all? Big yikes.
Sam story. YTA being married and owning a home DOES make it easier. You're just jealous she is happy and starting her family. Lesbian coworker story. YTA and there is an update to this story where op still goes after her coworkers sister. She is a horrible person and needs to stay away from her coworkers sister.
Story 1: YTA. OP didn’t even call???!?!? A five minute phone call to the grandparents and Amelia could have avoided this issue. I can’t believe OP or stepmom couldn’t even be bothered to send them a text.
Honestly I think this is the real issue. Personally I don’t think it good to take young children to the hospital with u when your a mess and not even looking after yourself. But he should have been calling her every day or every other day
i feel so bad for this girl ...this will continue and will grew up into a woman with a lot issues because "DAD" AND "mOM" they barely deserve that tittle readding their comments on reddit if i were her grandparents i will probably ask for custody cuss this will get worst and more painful.
I can't imagine how heartbroken Amelia must have felt; being stuck there for a week with no idea what was going on and crying and wondering if she did something to make her father abandon her. My heart broke for while reading this. Maybe she should actually live with her grandparents, since they've shown more concern and support for her than you have.
Your comments were rude and aggressive. They did not hit a nerve. They were rude. It IS easier raising kids with a house and garden and 2 parents/carers. It's not impossible otherwise but it's harder as you know. You might need to get some bracing to help you carrying that huge chip on your shoulder!!
Last Story, Keep your distance from your bio family, the 1st sign they think you owe them, they will drag u down if you want to help do it without them knowing.
To the gentleman who recently had biological siblings pop up asking for help and using their children to try and sway you. In your situation I would 100% tell them if they are concerned about their children you would be willing to accept custody of them, have them live with you and their parents have scheduled visitation either at your home or in a public space such as the park. If a parent is truly fearing for their child like what you described then they would be willing to at least consider it or come up with a similar plan on your own that sees you helping their kids but not them.
I think OP way trying to say how a person doesn't need to have a home and married partner to start a family, but took her words as a personal attack on her charecter due to her not having a stable enviroment at the time of her daughters birth.
Yeesh, story 4. The guy barely asked the question and your first response was to bite his head off and insult his qualities as a person. You might want to consider therapy if your first response to innocent questions and dialogue is to scream and foam at the mouth.
There was an update, when she found the sister she tried to stalk her and then when she eventually told the sister the situation she had to be blocked by the sister due to her behaviour. Lesbian creeps and stalkers are way more common most people think (lesbians are more likely to stalked by previous or current or in this case prospective partners than straight women) but society doesn't take women being creeps seriously in a lot of cases.
12 years old is plenty old enough to be kept in the loop about family health issues. She wasn’t even kept in the loop about how long she had to stay with her grandparents or why!
Story 1: Yeah YTA. When my little sister was born (I was 4) my parents left me at my aunt and uncle’s house while my mom was in labor. It lasted longer than anticipated and my dad didn’t check in with me for two days. I thought they were mad at me and got really upset- it also didn’t help that I was afraid of the dark and my aunt refused to let me use my night light (still think that was an AH move on her part). Kids need reassurance. Story 2: WTH is wrong with op? They sound so dang bitter and regretful of their child. I mean the literally ask their friend a question and go off on her about the answer. Definitely the AH.
The 1 of 7 who escaped a toxic family. OP, I have families, like your's, in my extended families. The simple truth is: WHAT WE ARE IS BASED SOLELY ON OUR CHOICES. I have a family of cousins in which the Middle Child chose the military to escape the cesspool of their family. He is the only not living in that cesspool to this day. Any one of your siblings could have made better choices. If they are coming to you for help, they don't care about you: they just want money, and if you give them a dime, they will bleed you dry. They will steal anything not nailed down, they will destroy the exterior of you home just to get into it, to steal everything inside. No, Calling CPS is the better answer for you, and honestly, I think you should move just to hide from them.
1) so let me get this right OP’s babies are in the hospital possibly might need surgery I’m not entirely sure which is already stressful. And to keep the older ones safe because they don’t know when they’re going to be home they send the older one to the grandparents house. Yes oh he should have called his daughter to let her know that everything was okay but sometimes when your mind is going 1000 mi./s you will overlook things the child was safe with her grandparents she was not abandoned. The real issue is the stepmother. Because she didn’t want to go get the daughter as soon as possible.
Nope, you don't drop the ball like this. Two parents and a team of medical professionals. Only one needs to be there to make medical decisions. The world doesn't stop turning and you don't just more or less ghost a kid, especially a child you're already traumatizing with prior behaviour from the stepmother, because one's sick. Stop defending this guy.
@@pansprayers I’ve seen plenty of parents go to the bedside of one child mostly the younger one if they possibly might need surgery especially if a baby gets something stuck in its stomach I’m not sure why you think this is abnormal I don’t know if mommy and daddy didn’t love you enough but that’s on you not me. The only sings this dude did wrong was not check up on his daughter that’s it the real issue is the stepmother I said what I said and I mean what I said
4. Story: YTA good that OP showed her character before the coworker was able to introduce his sister, just imagine OP showing her character after getting together with the sister and the sister starting to hate OP because he set her up with someone abusive
Story 2: OP is seriously trying to maintain that being a single mother with a child who’s father has skipped out is no harder than having a child with a stable engaged partner? Then why is there story after story about kids who say their single mother made them feel guilty for all the sacrifices she had to make? Or so many single parent stories where they cry for their child having a deadbeat parent that just disappoints the kids and is no support? Of course having 2 people makes raising kids easier. Having a green space literally outside your door makes it easier to let them run and play. OP is jealous and projecting hard.
You have to be careful with the co worker thing. I do advise against going to HR so fast, people that do that do that rarely do well in the office, especially if the office requires team work. At least make it look like you tried to work it out before getting HR being involved. You also have to know the co worker you are talking to, if you are not 100% sure they are comfortable than don't say anything. Also I would like to point out that OP seems to call her boss a friend, it makes me wonder if she has had history of going to the boss to talk about co workers (I also have always had great relationship with my bosses, but I never actually considered them friends while I was under their leadership, its good to have that great relationship, but you have to be careful that others do not claim favoritism). Side note: I have know a girl that used to run to HR with everything, even situations that do not involve her. Lets just say the whole office turned on her. She accused someone of asking her out, but the guy that she accused is openly gay (he has a picture of his boyfriend in his office), and he was trying to schedule whole department to go for a movie as a team bonding...... Lets just say that my department is very protective of our friend, and that before anyone knew it she developed a reputation. Side Note 2: Do not post stuff on social media about your work, especially if your co workers hate you. Side Note 3: When she did that I was already interviewing for a promotion at a different department 20 floors away, so I do not know exactly how bad things got for her, but I do know that every mistake she made was brought up by the remaining co workers in a way that her bosses boss heard about it.
@@pawel2669 No. She said she went to the manager that also a friend to op outside the office and they told op what the guy said. He had said he found out based on Xena warrior princess screensaver she had.
@@hothead2463 yeah he told that to manager, I am just saying that it’s possible she omitted something in her post. The Buffy thing is weird, i know few women that love that show and they are both straight
Story1, Dad did call but between selfish new wife and daughter Grand parent's being difficult,(when Gdaughter felt abandoned why didn't they call Dad or try to assure her she's loved and wanted) Dad and Daughters relationship is doomed
STORY #1 YTA. There was no good reason to send Amelia away. OP needs to apologize to Amy, make it clear she didn't do anything wrong and that it won't happen again, and make it up to the poor girl. Then, OP needs to sit Suze down and make it clear Cinderella shit won't be tolerated. STORY #2 YTA. OP's comments were hurtful and unnecessary. She was shitting on Sam's happy plans because she thinks caution is stupid. STORY #3 NTA. The three of them openly disrespected OP's wife at his wedding. He has every right to kick them out of the ceremony and out of his life, and the same goes for any relative trying to extend an olive branch. STORY #4 YTA. OP obviously didn't owe coworker a "yes", but there was no reason for her to be so hostile to someone she knew and previously got along well with. Here's how the conversation would have gone if OP was less defensive. Coworker: "Are you single?" OP: "Yes. Why do you ask?" Coworker: "Well, my sister is single too and I think the two of you would hit it off." *describes sister* OP: "Oh, she sounds cool. Sure, I'll meet her for coffee." Coworker: "Great! I'll let her know." -Or- OP: "Thanks for the offer, but I'm still not interested." Coworker: "Alright then. No worries." Instead, OP got angry and made assumptions. She assumed Coworker was hitting on her, then she assumed Coworker's friend was a man, then she assumed Coworker's friend wanted a one-night stand instead of just a meeting for coffee. In this case "Assume" only made an ass of OP, and now she lost Coworker as a friend. Hopefully OP can take this as a lesson to not assume the worst of people in her life. STORY #5 NTA. Family is love, and that's clearly not present between OP and Bio-Siblings. OP's Bio-Parents were awful, and the other siblings clearly took after them.
Coworker Story So OP's first impulse was to insult him and her second one was going to HR. Can't imagine why the coworker doesn't want to talk to her anymore.
There was an update, when she found the sister she tried to stalk her and then when she eventually told the sister the situation she had to be blocked by the sister due to her behaviour. Lesbian creeps and stalkers are way more common most people think (lesbians are more likely to stalked by previous or current or in this case prospective partners than straight women) but society doesn't take women being creeps seriously in a lot of cases.
Op married the wrong woman for his family- I agree with the last commenter. Time to block Mary on everything! And I would tell you Mom and Sis that you won't be speaking to them for months, because of how they hurt you and your wife ON YOUR WEDDING DAY. Let the three of them stew in their own misery. When you do contact them, if there isn't an apology, or they bring up Mary, tell them they failed again, and you won't speak to them for a year this time. Honestly, they are obviously, not going to stop with this, since this has been going on for 7 years. WHY IS MARY PLAYING INTO THIS? HOW DOES A GROWN WOMAN DELUDE HER SELF FOR 7 YEARS? The ONLY question you never answered: WHO IS TRULY PUSHING THIS MADNESS OF YOU WITH MARY? IS THIS TRULY YOUR FAMILY, OR IS MARY THE INSTIGATOR? Cutting your family off for a few months, might wake them up to the fact that Mary is destroying their relationship with you. If this is the family pushing this, again, how does a grown woman believe she still has a chance on your bloody wedding day?! You and your wife need to spend several months away from that, and honestly, you might need to cut them off, entirely.
I absolutely love the lines "now everyone thinks I'm the idiot." "You are the idiot". Being placed right next to each other.
This will be used against Op for the rest of his life
Story one: I'm so confused. OP and his wife are incapable of caring for their healthy children if one is sick? You can take care of his twin, but not your oldest, who's able to do certain things for herself? YTA and so is your wife
Sam wanted to be sure that she had her ducks in a row before adding ducklings to the nest, there's nothing wrong with that.
Having a house and being in a marriage is indeed a great environment for having kids.
People think that people need to suffer like they do in order to feel validated
Yeah, op was projecting super hard and sounds insufferable. Sam sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders and her reasoning is how most people would prefer it. Op was just a hit dog hollering since she’s unhappy with her own life.
With the edit though she doesn't sound too great either. I'm gonna have to go with a slight ESH. More heavily on OP's side and with Sam being a bit of an AH.
Op is just jealous
Good lord you didn't even call to check in on your daughter and the wife had past behaviors of singling out Amy from the family? 🤦🏻♀️ poor Amy she deserves better parents
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Story 1 boils my blood. That poor child. I won’t let anybody in mine or my husbands family treat my oldest different. We were a package deal from the get go. Point blank period.
Mine too, 4 days in hospital and grandpa called 7th day what the hell he is doing. My youngest was unexpected in the hospital 3 year ago (appendix) my oldest then 13 had a sleepover by her friend. My boyfriend took her home at 12 pm, she was crying because she was worried about her little sister. I think Amelia had the same worry about her little brother, and he didn't even badr to give her an update. Iam so mad about this, that poor girl.
@@paulinadeboer3604 worse, she thinks she is being abandoned because dad and stepmother have new babies to replace her. Imagine her trauma after her mom has already died.
Step-mother is turning out to be a horrid, hateful, narcissistic sow of a step-parent for Amelia. OP needs to get his cranium removed from his posterior orifice, and either make his new wife see that Amelia is a part of the family, or drop the wife like she was "Little Boy" over Hiroshima.
Honestly the only thing he done wrong is not checking up on her regularly whilst she was at her grandparents. My mom used to do this but she would call in and ask for updates and give updates. Taking the child to the hospital with u everyday isn’t really an option and unrealistic. She could get stressed out seeing op and his wife stressed out, traumatised herself more.
@@babycakez8070 sorry but whar did they do with the brother. And this kid ain't a child, it's a teen. They don't want to be left out at something like this. The child was in hospital only for 4 days let that sink in! The let her by the grandparents a whole week. They had to get her when he got out of the hospital. And if they could not ask grandparents to bring her, maybe decorate the house. This is neglect.
2:39 This stepmom sucks. BIG TIME.
“Oh, you’re going to see your daughter so she doesn’t think we set her aside for the new babies?? What a PERFECT opportunity to make this ALL ABOUT how well the new babies are doing!!” B*tch this is not about your babies!!
OP needs to throw his partner back into therapy. Round One clearly didn’t work. And until he’s ready to stick up for and prioritize his daughter as much as he does his sons, that little girl needs to stay with Grandma and Grandpa.
How long do we think it’ll be before the parentification begins? Five years? Maybe three? Before Amelia has to start “putting her siblings first” because “they’re FAMILY”
I'm thinking 2 years.
Depending on how much of a coward he is it might be sooner.
And this is why fairy tales are full of evil stepmothers.
Story 1: YTA. At BARE MINIMUM you should have called daily with updates. Not only for your parents but your Daughter. I don’t blame them for being mad at you!
If I remember correctly the dad did call Amelia for about an hour each day so they could eat lunch together, but he passed out from exhaustion the last day, so didn't get to call her
@@petals3091 'been crying for a few days, especially since I didn't even bother to call yesterday' unless it's buried in the comments, that's not once a day. Passed out from exhaustion? Let me tell you something - two of my kids were hospitalized in two different hospitals 50 miles apart before the common use of cellphones and all THREE got MY time in person daily after I myself was out of the ICU. This guy's a deadbeat. Stop defending him.
@@pansprayers not defending, I think it was the wrong decision to leave her there for more than a day or two and not going to visit her on top of that. I was just giving information that was not in the video
@@pansprayers but that also makes me wonder what is happening with OP's wife especially because of said that she started showing favoritism when the kids weren't even born yet, could they be purposely excluding Amelia for their "ReAl FaaMilyyyy" and if Amelia has realized that's what's happening.
This happened over a decade ago, but my dad did something similar.
During my mom's last week 😢, my dad had us basically holding a vigil on Sunday evening. My cousin drove my oldest sister home, while my middle sister overnighted on the couch. On Monday the hospice nurse told us that mom wasn't ready to go yet. On Thursday my middle sister called to tell me she needed a break, so since I hadn't gotten a break that week, dad gave me Friday and Saturday.
On Friday I stopped by my oldest sister's place to see her and she handed me a list of questions. The theme of those questions made me realize that she thought our mom had died, and that nobody had told her. I immediately told her that mom was still alive and she burst into tears 😢😭. When I told my dad that he should have called her and told her that mom was still living he said "I thought no news was good news."
My aunt proceeded to rip him up one side and down the other.
I'm sorry, but he "had no right" to kick guests out of his wedding for disrespecting his wife? This is one of the most WTF levels of delusion I've ever heard.
Story 1: YTA - How do you leave your tween at Grandpa's when her sibling is sick and not AT LEAST call in daily to make sure she's doing okay and to update her on her brother? You did abandon your daughter in favor of your new family. Your Dad is right.
I'm willing to be ops wife manipulate op into not calling or seeing the daughter. Like they get home from a hospital trip and she ask him for this or that keeping him bussy till he just either passes out, it's too late for a call or just forgot due to stress and being over worked. I'm putting more blame on the manipulative wife then on op.
I agree I would not be surprised if she decides to cut ties with him this can mean she won't let him near her during big events in her life and has someone toss him out
@@Yume10605 I agree. One of the commenters brought up a good point- if Colin was allowed to remain at home, why wasn't Amelia? It makes complete sense for Amelia to be wherever Colin is since they could have offered comfort and continuity to each other while Bastian was being looked at. And the wife wanting to delay the trip to see Amelia when all of them could come... Way to attempt a power move/United front while she's doing the most to ice out Amelia.
@@melindasmith4998 yup that's why I'm thinking the wife manipulated op to not check in on his daughter.
Story 1:You already admitted you took an extra day for yourselves. You also didn't call... The wife may want to make an appearance also.
Regarding the story about the female best friend being preferred by the OP's family over his actual wife- I would be willing to bet that the best friend always had romantic feelings for the OP and thought there would always be time- to wait for the right moment to try and is now freaking out because her chance is gone.
Story 2 I knew a couple who were completely the opposite in temperament and interests but the loved each other. When they married they agreed they would wait for seven years before they had children just to make sure they could make their marriage work. When I met them they had been married for 18 years and had 3 children.
7 yrs is an awfully long time, but good for them.
I did something similar. Now I am old and failing health with young children dependent on me. Seriously, some of my old classmates have grandchildren older than my youngest.
some of the better relationships i have seen in my life are people that balance eachother, in one case both families were sure it wouldnt work and pressured them to wait to have kids and kept doing it eventually they asked their friends for our honest opinions... "you have been a couple since highschool, have never wavered of faltered, fuck your idiot parents perspective, you 2 have been an old married couple since highschool, listen to us when we say this, for the..i have lost count how many times its been, f-their hangups, sure you bicker and fight.. but.. we have never seen you have a genuine fight... it always turns into you bickering till its so absurd you both are laughing as you try and figure out how to escilate that shit to even more absurd levels"
they got 6 kids between them... and bicker flirt all the damn time... they are also one of the most healthy couples i have known... genuinely are eachothers, other half... "find somebody whos damage aligns well with your own, and make babies" as the old saying goes... LOL..
1. That poor girl. Thank goodness she has good grandparents. Grandad was right and I hope Amelia can find a way to stay with them forever if she can. 'My wife says we should wait longer' OH CHRIST IN A MANGER!
2. Sam is so sensible and was only thinking about her kids and how much better their life will be if their parents have a stable life. OP is so jealous and mad.
3. 'A strain on your friendship' DUDE SHE WAS NEVER YOUR FRIEND. You took way too long to put up boundaries with that crazy lady. Do better next time.
4. Consider some therapy about why you're so angry about being single. That poor guy seems so sweet but I hope he lets his sister know she can do better.
5. You are not obligated to fix the mess that someone else made of your life. Avoid these people like the plague because they will only drag you down.
the "christ in a manger" had me rolling 🤣 VERY well said.
But how was she supposed to know that her coworker knew? I think that he should have said that he was asking for his sister instead of saying that it was for a friend because he knew that she was gay
@@alphawolf2157 She never let him finish though, he was trying to explain and she over reacted. Also, why would you assume that his friend was automatically a guy? He never specified their gender.
@@alphawolf2157 He didn't say it was for a friend, she jumped to that conclusion just like she jumped to the first conclusion that he was asking for himself.
The guy was not sweet; he was being a creepo
YTA, as is your wife. My heart broke for Amelia while reading this. I can't imagine how heartbroken she must have felt; being stuck there for a week with no idea what was going on and crying and wondering if she did something to make her father abandon her. Maybe she should actually live with her grandparents, since they've shown more concern and support for her than you have. Either that or kick your two-faced wife to the curb since apparently therapy didn't get through to her before. You better believe this won't be the only time she does something like this to your daughter, and probably won't be the only time she convinces you to go along with it.
I lived through a different but similar situation.
I'm was the oldest of 3. I was 7. Dad was in jail so mom had to get a job and baby sitter for my younger bros.
I went live with my grandma. Her nephews went to high school near my elementary school. They would drop me off at school and pick me up after school. I would eat supper at their house and stay til grandma got home from work.
I was young and don't remember much from that time, but I still wonder why I was sent away.
And next thing you know OP will be posting on Reddit again in 6 years asking why Amelia went NC...
Story 2: YTA - Yeah, raising kids IS easier with a partner and a stable roof over your head. You're JEALOUS of your friend for waiting, and projecting your own values onto her choices. You overstepped, and deserved everything you got, including her hubby thanking imaginary sky daddy for not being your spouse. I agree. You acted like a holier than thou B.
Hell, just having a *partner* you can rely on. My parents were in a cricket-infested apartment and Dad had just started school again because he'd lost his job and thought maybe getting a degree in teaching would be a good idea when I was born. But they were *married* and devoted to each other. Dad changed diapers and watched me when he was home so Mom could get a break. He was also rather clueless and tended to burst through the door with a *"HONEY, I'M HOME!"* when he got back from school. Inevitably right after Mom had *finally* gotten me to sleep. If looks could kill, Dad would've been *ash.*
Still, they were 110% devoted to each other and still are 40 years and another five pregnancies later, three of which resulted in live births.
What imaginary sky daddy?
Story 3: NTA. You handled everything about this the right way. They all had plenty of warnings to knock it off but they didn’t because they weren’t counting on making good on your warnings. Your a good man OP.
Story 4: notice how she only changed her tune once she realized that she screwed up a potential relationship opportunity, not when she put that man's career at risk.
I think I heard this story on another channel. OP found the co-worker's sister's SM & has been communicating with her, not saying anything about the falling out with her brother. OP is an AH and a creep.
@@SnowyWolborg LOL! That's amazing. 🤣 🤣
@@SnowyWolborg 🤣 Serves her right 🤣
OMG, poor Amy! OP didn't even call her after he & his wife decided to leave her with her grandparents for another day? Maybe Amy should move in with her grandparents permanently. At least they seem to care about her.
Story 2: OP behaved like a brat.
Story 3: Yikes! Good on OP. I hope he and his new wife go NC with all of them.
If they move her in with the grandparents, it's going to traumatize her even more, thinking she did something wrong. The whole thing sucks.
As a single mom… having money does make certain aspects of raising children. Good lord op in that story needs a reality check. It may not guarantee that it will be perfect but it helps. Stability and security are very important to raising children.
Then provide it yourself! How does a man provide anything when YOU are dependent upon him for everything. Grow up and be accountable and responsible for your own actions. To do otherwise makes you a HORRIBLE parent. As a single woman I have fostered 3 children and adopted 1. Stop being a victim and start being a woman. YOU CANNOT BE BOTH.
@@paintedpony2935 first let’s get one thing straight. I am the provider for my children dad has be MIA for 6 years. It is not wrong to say extra money and everyday help would reduce stress especially since my two are autistic. I do everything and joyfully because their smile and laughter heal my soul. If op’s friend wanted things in a specific order before she started having children it is her purgative and I say that she is making decisions she feels would be in the best interest of her child. It is a personal decision and she doesn’t deserve to be judged for it. 2 parents (whatever gender) is helpful period. So get a grip. NO ONE was playing the victim. Just saying that she seems like she is badgering her friend because she is making a different decision and might be projecting her insecurities because she made different decisions. Another point is do what’s right for you and don’t judge others for making different decisions. You might want to ask clarifying questions before attacking someone. Try maturing a bit before you attempt to engage in civil discourse.
Story 3: imagine being very jealous and not coming to terms with it. Having a house, a degree, a stable job, money, and a marriage DO make it easier. Based on studies. Obviously, some people don't have everything. And that's fine as long as they are able to provide basic needs for the kids. But these things do make it easier.
And a healthy relationship is also very much necessary. Of course, children of divorcees, broken homes, and ONS manage---but typically not without trauma. Having two parents in a stable and healthy relationship has been proven to be ideal (be it M+W, WLW, or MLM---just two parents is the optimal dynamic).
It’s funny cause the way I heard it being told was OPs friends was saying that waiting for marriage means everything will be easier and happily ever after. And she was saying this to her friend that had a kid and was getting mare after the fact. The comment section jumps in with OP is the AHole but the truth is I know plenty of people who have kids after marriage and they hate it and I know plenty that are not married and have a much better life. In other words being stable like OPs friends is smarter but thinking Happily Ever After is dumb.
@@FirstChronus OP specifically said that her friend should not have waited until she had a marriage and a house to try for kids--basically saying that trying for a financially stable two-parent household from the get-go was dumb because it might not work out. How does that make any sense?
How is it NOT easier to have 2 adults rather than one when there's an infant around? How is it not easier when both parents have good jobs? As for the stars in her friend's eyes, since when is that unusual or even dumb for a newlywed? If you don't have a few stars in your eyes at the beginning of the marriage, good luck making it through the tough times.
@@Daniko2 re-read what I wrote. I never said it was easier and neither did OP. Your writing based on feelings.
Also a “few stars in you eyes” isn’t the same as “happily ever after”.
It’s obvious OP and her friend are Frienamies.
That's story #2.
@@FirstChronus I think you might need to re-read. I didn't write that you or OP said it was easier to have kids as a single parent: I pointed out that OP argued that their friend shouldn't have waited for marriage and a house before trying for kids--on the grounds that it might not work out. OP specifically said "I told her having a house and husband didn't mean she shouldn't have started". Awkward phrasing might make that statement need a second to parse, but that is an outright statement that OP's friend should not have hesitated to start trying for kids just because they did not yet have a house and husband.
And that is a ridiculous argument for the reasons I pointed out above. Sure the marriage might not work out, but it's far more likely that certain struggles can be minimized in a two-parent household.
Also, I don't know where you get "writing based on feelings" from. There's nothing in this story that clearly states OP's friend expected happily ever after just because the friend waited to have a house and husband. The friend pointed out differences that already exist. The friend is already in a less stressful, more financially stable, and better professional place than OP was, because they did not try for kids while single and not finished with school. In the worst-case scenario, OP's friend will still have a that degree and better job, as well as whatever asset split occurs in a divorce. That's not expecting happily-ever-after. That's pointing out the reasons that OP's advice to have not waited did not make a whole lot of sense.
You're probably right that OP and friend are frenemies--or if they aren't already, they're well on their way to becoming so.
Final Story: NTA. Luck can only take you so far. You found a good family, you made your own life better. The best they are doing is sicking their kids on you to shame you.
Story 4: And this is exactly why just being 'Uncomfortable' is such a horrible standard when it comes to Harassment. Because she admitted that if she knew it was for his sister she would have been welcoming. Because she thought it was for him, she decided to try to screw his career over by going to her boss.
Toxic misandrist that op was. She already was Triggered by her own assumption and only felt that she lost that moment but didn't apologize to the guy. No wonder shes still single.
like the comic strip with the handsome guy and the fat ugly guy giving compliments to a woman in the work place, one was a kind gesture and the other and HR visit
He wasn't affected, from what it sounds like. And with the amount of men who decide they can 'fix' a lesbian, she was acting from a place of protecting herself.
@@cursedwithsetience4017 except he was affected. If your boss pulls you aside for a sexual harassment claim that typically goes in your file regardless. She didn’t even let him explain, she overreacted. And since she admitted if she knew she wouldn’t have responded that way, puts her entirely in the wrong. I ben if she was straight or a guy this was overreacting.
@@cursedwithsetience4017 He was affected (talk with boss, harassment recorded in his file, having to change shifts to avoid her), and she reacted under the belief that he didn't know she was a lesbian.
Story 1- Hi. I'm the younger half-sibling in this scenario, my brother being exactly 12 years older than me. Do you know where my parents would have taken him? Fucking with them! Poor girl is worried about her brothers, thinks her parents hate her, and neither of her parents are doing anything to help! God, I can only imagine how much therapy the poor thing is gunna need by the time she's 18...
Don't have more than one kid if you can't take care of all of the kids equally.
Story 1: OP, you fail at communication with your daughter.
I can understand why you left her with your parents for a week, I´ve been in Amelia´s stead years ago. My 3 y.o little brother got sick, my 8 months old little sister was too young to be separated from our mom, and my parents were stretched too thin to take care of all three of us, so an 11 years old me was sent to my uncle and aunt. It was supposed to be only for a week, but my brother hadn´t gotten better after than so I ended up away for more than two weeks. But the difference was, my parents kept me (and aunt and uncle) well informed. It was the time before smartphone, or even cellphone at all, but my parents always made sure to call my aunt for at least once a day and me at least every two days. They told me how my brother was doing, apologizing for not being able to come sooner, and asked how my day was. That really make a difference because I knew I wasn´t being abandoned, that my parents wanted me there too, but truly can´t.
Stpry 2: did OP just say that having a house and more money doesn't make raising kids easier? 🤣🤣🤣
And I agree with the commenter that said by her logic no one should have kids. It absolutely DOES sound like that.
Agree!! OP's just jealous that her baby dad was a loser who ditched her so instead of being happy for her friend she has to make it about her!! I mean so her friend waited till she had a good carer, stable relationship and home before having kids.... that's a GOOD thing!!! And responsible imo so you don't have a child you CANT afford!!!
OP literally picked this fight for no reason as she can't just be happy that her friends life worked out the way she would have wanted hers to.
@@Miltz69 Yup. Bitterness, jealousy, and condescension were all dripping from every word she wrote. I hope Sam decides she doesn't need this "friend" in her life.
Essentially op was like "how dare you not suffer as i did"
story 1: YTA, at a bare minimum you should have called and told them that the 2 days would be extended but better then that you should have gone and got here, you can watch a baby and your other child, she's 12 not 2 she can be fine without constant supervision just the occasional check to see she's fine.
Congratulations you allowed this woman to manipulate you again and hurt your daughter again. Have cup of coffee and wake up honey Mommy dearest doesn't want the old child around. God bless this poor child and when she grows up and you don't ever see her again this is why. You are destroying her self-esteem and South worth
PSA: When someone asks you if you're single and you don't want to answer directly, try, "Thanks, but my plate's a little full right now." It evades the question while expressing your unavailability in a non-threatening manner.
Or...you could just say, "Yeah, but I've just been so busy with life stuff/job/college/etc that I don't have any time/room for relationships right now. Direct answer, but also a reason why you don't want to date them specifically.
@@misterb3577 You could. I tend to go for the vague. If not, they may ask further details.
True, or "Single, but not looking".
"If my comment hit a nerve so easily then maybe it was a sign that they knew I was right and had a point" wow the POV of a narcissist
Story 2: YTA, ah, can you smell the jealousy in the air or is it just me?
Story 3: YTA for not cutting Marry off waaaaaay earlier and for not having put up propper boundaries, I mean, why the fuck was Marry doing in the wedding anyway?
They straight up abandoned their child
I don’t think so. Yes they were wrong for not even calling her to check up, but I can see why. Being worried about an inconsolable infant at the hospital is a lot to worry about at once, but again they should have at least called her.
@@bkjay20 I disagree. If OP's dad didn't confront him they would've left her even longer.
@@goodmooneung totally and this will continue, they are sick? leave amy with grandpa, kids have something at school? grandpa.
poor girl and stepmom ""lets take the babies to show them they are okey" this is not the moment for that.
my family had had serious incidents and never ever leave without explain or calling specially if you are a kid.
@@goodmooneung after reading the original story I agree with the point you made. I also think the stepmother might have alternate motives.
@@bkjay20 it was left out of the video but he did call her every day at lunch time
I understand the baby was sick but how do you forget to pick up your other kid and not even make a phone call to let anyone know what's going on? They have scarred that little girl. For a long time she will be wondering what she did and why they didn't want her anymore.
Story 1: “something in his stomach” anyone else thinking the mom may have caused the issue to begin with? I wouldn’t leave her alone with any of the kids. She isn’t a good person just based on how she is treating the daughter.
Munchhausen by proxy? Yeah, that kinda crossed my mind as well...
Considering toddlers like putting things in their mouths that don't belong there I'll wait for a second reoccurrace from either twin before I make a judgment on that.
@@nightigal op says infant sons, no age mentioned. You are assuming they are toddlers. Or am I missing information? I haven’t read the actual Reddit story. So I’m going on what information was given. Edit: 7 months so maybe crawling. I’m still suspicious.
@@zrayneofchaosz my bad I had gotten into my head that they were at least a year. Suspension of wife approved
@@nightigal you are good! I had to go back and look because I thought I had missed part of it. They don’t read the ages but sometimes they will show it. I was just listening and didn’t realize that OP gave the age. It’s enough suspicion that it worries me. Just the way OP talks about how his wife treats his daughter. She wants all attention on their sons.
I don’t know how the first OP can claim to care at all about his daughter when he totally abandoned her for a week. Didn’t drop in to see her, not even a video or phone call. Unbelievable. This poor girl. I hope her grandparents check in on her frequently. I wouldn’t be surprised if the OP forgets to feed her for days on end because the golden sons have all of their attention.
This is awesome that you found your family. Thank goodness for you. They are not your responsibility. Not the idiot. Not the truth.. Keep them away from you. Report the lack of care of the younger children.
So OP basically left his own daughter at his parents and just forgot about her for a whole week. Yet cannot see why people are mad at him for it.
I calling it right now, he is gonna be back here in a few years wondering why is daughter cut all contact with him after she moves out. And i hope she does, too.
At least her grand parents are backing her up.
Story 1, OP put your house in order, your wife is not very nice to OP's daughter.
Good Grandparents/Parents right there. Telling their son is a gigantic idiot for leaving his child and making him do the right thing by making him explain it to the child rather than them. Too bad their own Son turned out that way.
The wedding story: OP did what he was *supposed* to do. Protect the new wife against attack from the "family" and that toxic female friend that they love so much.
Lmaooo at tha lesbian wondering if she's tha idiot. Even if he was tryna ask her out. Seemed respectful enough. "I'm not interested " is never a non-rude answer to that question. Off rip?? Come on
Do you even know the amount of men who think they can 'fix' a lesbian? It's not always safe to gently tell a man no.
Yes because if someone said that and then you proceeded to stop the person tell them it for a friend and their still not interested and tell them what's your problem. You would be getting uncomfortable or mad.
@@cursedwithsetience4017 - Do you know the amount of lesbians that are in emotionally and physically abusive relationships? His sister dodged a bullet.
I am a bisexual woman, and that story about a lesbian made me so angry, people nowadays are so sensitive that they assume everyone wants to date them without even a hint of what the person was going to say. And what's more enraging is that when she heard that his sister us a lesbian too and a potential partner she changed her tune but still wanted a apology. No wonder she is single, no one wants such a toxic insecure partner lesbian or not.
100%.
Story 4: Really wish the train wreck of an update was added. She reached out to the sister on Instagram, got her phone number, and has been chatting her up. She says the sister doesn't know OP's connection to her brother and she'll "cross that blown up bridge somehow when i get to it". Op developed feelings for her, the truth came out, and now OP's blocked.
Oooooh my goodness
Co-Worker Story: YTA. 100%.
Op was completely in her right to turn down any date offer. The problem is she showed up to the question pre-offended. The co-worker wasn't at all unreasonable. He asked her a question and then tried to clarify, but before he could, OP became rude. Co-worker asks why she's being rude, OP then upgrades yo being both rude and insulting. At this point, the co-worker finally shoots back with something to defend himself and gives up trying to clarify, because he doesn't want to subject his sister to this kind of stupidity.
OP is so offended that a guy said one mildly unkind thing to her ("I see why you're single") after she was rude, aggressive and insulting to him that he brought him up to HR. And expected him to apologize to her, and wondered why he wasn't talking to her or no longer setting her up with his sister.
OP assumed the worse, and like the saying goes, made an ass out of herself.
ikr? Guy barely spoke 2 sentences and she went after his job.
He's doing the smart thing getting away from her if she's that volatile and self-absorbed. It took 2 people telling her she was way out of line before she even considered she _might_ be slightly guilty of being a huge tool.
@@yaqbulyakkerbat4190 Not even that. It took her supervisor telling her that she screwed-up her chance at a relationship with his sister before she realized that she might've been a huge tool. Before that, she was sitting on her high horse looking down at him, expecting him to apologize.
She is married and in a stable situation. That sounds like a reasonable time to start kids. Also having a partner and financial stability 100% makes having kids easier. It doesn’t make it a picnic but it is always easier not worrying about affording food and basic for your child and having someone else to help with the hard stuff.
Co-worker story YTA!! and made me laugh when OP realised he wanted to set her up with his sister as she then cared more about the "missed opportunity" than how she MASSIVELY overeacted and treated the poor guy!!
Sounds like they HAD a friendship so him asking "are you single" and then "its not for me" is an honest question that OP could have replied to politely (without outing herself) instead of going 0-100000000% and not only insulting the guy but putting his job at risk by reporting him.
I don't blame him for blocking OP and switching shifts to avoid OP and keeping it purely professional and agree his statement "no wonder you're single" so I wouldn't even try and get anywhere near OP's personal crap!!
Also I'd warn the sisters; just in case OP decides to try and contact them on sm; as she sounds desperate enough to do so
you mad bro? lol
She wouldn't be in the wrong if he had been trying to ask her out so why is she in the wrong now
@@liwiathan cuz he didn't ask her out and she already was pre triggered
@@liwiathan Uhh... yes she would. They were, as she claimed, work buddies. It's not wrong to ask a work-buddy if they were interested in after work drinks, dinner, whatever, to explore if they could be buddies outside of work as well, and possibly even more than that. Why should this be wrong? How did you think people met and dated people before GRINDR or TINDR or whatever these hooking-up apps are called?
The only way dating/hookups at work can be wrong is when a) the one coming on to you is more powerful than you and is using this to pressure you into a relationship/hookup you don't want or b) when you say 'no' and s/he doesn't take that for an answer. Just saying 'hey, we're kinda friends at work, wanna go grab some coffee/grub/a movie sometime' is NOT a crime.
@@Smallpotato1965 this
Story1: Gigantic YTA. What the hell kind of parent abandons their kid for a week, without a word??? I'm glad his father gave him the chewing out he so richly deserves! Sounds like OP has turned into a giant simp for his new wife. Shame on him. And since she's the only mother Amelia's ever known, shame on her too!
10:40 take a note fellas, this is how you treat your wife, she your immediate family now, and only your kids (if any) can be added
Xena background: YTA on so many levels. First he asked off company time even took a few steps back to show he had no I'll will. OP went and snitched to HR. He went to great lengths to avoid her. Dude straight up changed not only his location but his hours too. She still tried to reach out because his sister is hot. He blocked her. Then OP still tried to get with his sister. Apparently OP is so lacking in social skills that she doesn't understand that "don't speak often" doesn't mean bad relationship. She contacts the sister directly disregarding that she could potentially be damaging their relationship. I hope the guy tells his sister about the crazy at work he tried to set her up with from his job but she instead got him in trouble. God no wonder she's single with so few friends. I hope sister finds out who OP is and what she did and blocks her stalker butt. If this is real which I doubt
Is that in updates or something?
@@owenfautley Everyone says that, but I haven't even found any evidence the thread ever existed. I'm starting to think someone faked the story and others just rolled with it.
S1: Limited cars. I was working as a caretaker for my ungrateful hag of a grandmother to eliminate stress from my mother who was her full time caretaker back then. I worked weekends, would be brought home Sunday evening. Well Sunday turned to Monday, Monday turn to Thursday until I ended up living with her. My father pretty much took advantage of me watching his mom even more so when my own mother was hospitalized with pneumonia. I didn't get to leave much. Always stuck there to the point where I'd cry because of the summer heat in the poorly non-insulated house with no wind or a/c except her room, barely being paid. Upon hearing that he just dropped her off, then days passed had me thinking back to it and how I felt I was tossed out while relatives didn't care or worry on ME. 20 some years ago and it still boils my blood on stories like this. Dude, you want resentment? You're gonna get it.
Last Story: OP never asked his best friend's mom to take care of him. It only worked out the way it did bc they formed a bond naturally and were able to give and receive love from eachother without expectation. Not once did OP speak of all the money she had. He spoke in great detail about the stability, guidance and family bond. That is what changed his life. OP can't give his siblings what they are asking for, they have to choose to be good parents.
But why would they if they have a successful sibling from whom they can demand help from lol?
Can we also mention that he was the second YOUNGEST out of seven kids? The story doesn’t mention the age spread, but I can’t imagine having the youngest taking care of the OLDER siblings and their brood. Sounds to me they were waiting to see if SOMEONE in the family would “make it”, and then hit them up if they did.
First paradox a child has to learn is this. Who are the only people you can count on? Family. Who are the first ones to duck you over? Family.
Making it compared to his siblings is not a high bar. He may have a more stable life compared to them. Doesn’t mean he has a ton of money to support even one of his nieces and nephews. No need to set himself on fire 🔥 to keep them warm. They would watch him to burn to ash and continue the “woe is me” crap.
Story 1. I'm so pleased that OP's dad called him out. This type of behaviour had to be nipped in the bud!!
Story 2: YTA. Stop projecting because you're jealous lol.
If amelia/amy is both your real daughter, will your now wife let her stay away for that long? I guess not! Cause if you're a real mother, whatever happens, you can't sleep nicely if you're not complete as a family!!!
This guy didn't go to pick her up ASAP because his wife? This isn't a casual visit it's already tense between the grandparents, husband and the child without her strolling through the door to make it all about her babies. She is upset that she can't bring the babies when the whole point is to bring the daughter back home because she hasn't seen her family in a week.
Story 2: OP is the AH because it basically looked like she was raining on Sam's parade about her seemingly logical and reasonable choices. Many people try to go that straight path but life happens. No one is saying it's a 100% guarantee that a marriage will last and you'll have a home forever but both of those things are highly recommended before having children. OP was definitely being pessimistic and getting defensive. I didn't understand the point of her saying all of that to Sam 1 month after she got married and trying for a child after getting her stuff together. 😒
I mean, in a way I agree with the OP, you shouldn't plan that you will always be happily married, especially a month in. If you're really trying to be sensible, you might want live a couple of years together to move forward with kids.
Sam's a little too sure she outplanned life and I think that surety reads as criticism directed at women who didn't plan like herself. She'll fit in perfect in the mommy groups, tho!
@@Kimberly_Sparkles It's how OP was saying it which made her TA imo. She stated that having a house and a good income doesn't make raising a kid easier, which a lot of studies disprove. They definitely alleviate problems and give one a peace of mind. She just came off bitter and ignorant. I understand she was likely voicing her concerns for her friend but she could have phrased things better.
I think it was the child free wedding that caused the issue, since OP would've had to find a babysitter to attend. She accepted it at the time as she thought they didn't want any children of their own, but that immediately changed once the baby talk started. Newly wed likely doesn't fuss or show any interest in the 2 year old either, so that conversation would've come as a surprise.
Story two: having a house and a stable relationship is needed for children
Nope, not needed. There are plenty of perfectly happy, healthy single by choice parents out there who rent. Blanket statements and absolutes are logical fallacies.
Desirable, but not a necessity.
I would not think of bringing children to the world without these...
Otherwise the child would not receive the best, and that's what they deserve.
@@pansprayers Teacher here. There is a distinct difference between my students who are being raised by single parents vs those from a two parent home. It may not be necessary for a parent to get by but it definitely is better for the child in terms of social and mental development to have two parents. It also helps for children to have more space to grow depending on the size of the family.
Story 2. OP was being a wet blanket, putting a damper on someone's happy moment.
Why didn't you call your daughter at least? Being upset after a weeks absence is not being spoiled.
It's not in the video but he called her for an hour every day but the last day because he was exhausted and slept most of the day
Story 1 : Hansel and Gretel much??? Op is a massive ah
Story 4: after all the BS she now wants the prize of a gf. What an A
Thanks again XOS. Op does sound jealous completely. Have a great day
I love how after OP reports her coworker to HR for asking her a question, not only does she expect an apology, she expects her coworker to still want to be friends with her.
What OP did could have gotten the coworker FIRED.
Yes OP YTA, i understand you have issues with men, but this wasn’t a random man catcalling you on the streets, this was a coworker who, per your story, you were at least friendly with. You overreacted big time and YOU should apologize to him.
Why did he go radio silent after going for the jugular of his job when a simple no I'm sorry I'm not interested would have been fine? Surprised Pikachu face
And correct me if I am wrong, but she is still in the closet right. I mean, she said she is out to only a handful of friends, and no one else knows. That sounds like in the closet. And she was surprised that the co-worker knew and wanted to know how he knew. It sounds like she wants men to treat her like they know she is a lesbian, without them knowing she is a lesbian, and being offended when they don't treat her how she thinks she should be treated. I can see why she has trouble talking to men.
@@ruthmeow4262 no, she expects to be treated like a human being in the work place. Your work place isn't the place to play match maker, especially if you AREN'T close enough to let it be known that you're LGBTQ. I'm bi. My relationship status is mine to disclose when I decide, not yours to ask. Just asked my husband if HE thought it was an appropriate question to ask anyone, his answer was, 'fuck no, that's their business'. It's EXHAUSTING to be constantly asked if you're single. It has nothing to do with her sexuality, everything to do with appropriate behaviour, and is literally none of anyone's business.
"You overreacted big time and YOU should apologize to him" lol no b
@@pansprayers But being a man hater is ok? It's ok to treat the man no like a human and jump all over him? The lady didn't even hear him out. Just jump all over him (like you are btw) and then wondered why he wants nothing to do with her? I won't want to deal with that ether. She could have got him fired over this. So him leaving her alone and running for it seem fair to me. But sure the LGBTQ the one that wasn't treated like a human.
Also what this bs about not finding good people where you work? Are you for real? I know lots of people that meet their SO in the work place.
You are right that it not anyone business about sexuality but that goes both ways hun. Why couldn't the girl just have said no to dating someone? Asked why he asked and then found out why without jumping all over him? Or you know if he did want to date her then she could have just said no without say why and they could have stayed work friends. Why did she need to jump him?
Story one: Amelia is in for a bumpy road ahead of her, i for her mental health. Of she’s already noticing the way she’s being treated now, she’ll be able to see it more clearly and understand why when she’s older. I can see her going no contact with her father one day. Might as well start calling her Cinderella as that’s how her stepmother treats her. The fact the wife was mad he wanted to pick up his child earlier says it all. He and wife are both AHs and im so happy his parents are at least responsible and good people and I’m sure they will continue to support his daughter. His father was right to call him a deadbeat, screw parents who favor their new families over their children.
Umm.... having a stable living situation, does help with having kids. Having money helps with that stability, as does home ownership and being in a committed relationship.
And yet the whole lot of baby boomers and gen x were abused
@@vampire9545 That’s because women didn’t really have much say in the home or with finances. Heck, a woman in America couldn’t even have their own bank account in their name until the late 60’s and wives/mothers were considered dependents and husbands/fathers the breadwinners until the mid 70’s. Now it’s easier for women to leave bad situations and not have to jump into a bad marriage to survive.
@@AllieOopsTK Actually it was 1970, when women could own a bank account alone. A man raping his wife wasn't a crime in the USA until the 1990s. When my mom learned I was engaged in 1999, the first thing she did was open a joint savings account with me and a joint safety deposit box with official copies of all my important documents(because it's joint, untouchable in a divorce). I supported my late husband (he was crippled in an accident), our infant daughter (7mo at time of accident) and myself on $500 a month for three years. Then we got SSD and SSI. I was a better mother when less stressed. A year after that we got a substantial settlement. Our life was finally stable, and we were all happier and felt safer.
2nd op ‘ I’m not bitter and defensive I’m just a single mother who lives in an apartment who took issue with my friend waiting to try for kids for…some other reason. ‘
Op basically called the work guy an AH for asking a simple question. Smh
I hate it when people make a statement like "We're ready to have kids." and the listener turns it around to "Are you saying WE weren't ready to have kids?" I think that what story 2 was doing. She got her nose out of joint because she took her friend saying she was ready to have kids to be an insult to the way she did things. Talk about projecting. That OP is definitely the AH.
Story 2: it objectively is easier the more money you have. 😂
Story 1: they leave her alone for a week, after already knowing she’s insecure about having new babies in the house, and they can’t even call, can’t go check in with her at all? Big yikes.
Sam story. YTA being married and owning a home DOES make it easier. You're just jealous she is happy and starting her family.
Lesbian coworker story. YTA and there is an update to this story where op still goes after her coworkers sister. She is a horrible person and needs to stay away from her coworkers sister.
Story 1: YTA. OP didn’t even call???!?!? A five minute phone call to the grandparents and Amelia could have avoided this issue. I can’t believe OP or stepmom couldn’t even be bothered to send them a text.
Honestly I think this is the real issue. Personally I don’t think it good to take young children to the hospital with u when your a mess and not even looking after yourself. But he should have been calling her every day or every other day
Ok I have brought up children in a relationship and as a single parent. Both are difficult in their own way. But I love all my children equally
i feel so bad for this girl ...this will continue and will grew up into a woman with a lot issues because "DAD" AND "mOM" they barely deserve that tittle readding their comments on reddit
if i were her grandparents i will probably ask for custody cuss this will get worst and more painful.
I can't imagine how heartbroken Amelia must have felt; being stuck there for a week with no idea what was going on and crying and wondering if she did something to make her father abandon her.
My heart broke for while reading this.
Maybe she should actually live with her grandparents, since they've shown more concern and support for her than you have.
Your comments were rude and aggressive. They did not hit a nerve. They were rude. It IS easier raising kids with a house and garden and 2 parents/carers. It's not impossible otherwise but it's harder as you know. You might need to get some bracing to help you carrying that huge chip on your shoulder!!
Last Story, Keep your distance from your bio family, the 1st sign they think you owe them, they will drag u down if you want to help do it without them knowing.
To the gentleman who recently had biological siblings pop up asking for help and using their children to try and sway you. In your situation I would 100% tell them if they are concerned about their children you would be willing to accept custody of them, have them live with you and their parents have scheduled visitation either at your home or in a public space such as the park. If a parent is truly fearing for their child like what you described then they would be willing to at least consider it or come up with a similar plan on your own that sees you helping their kids but not them.
I think OP way trying to say how a person doesn't need to have a home and married partner to start a family, but took her words as a personal attack on her charecter due to her not having a stable enviroment at the time of her daughters birth.
Yeesh, story 4.
The guy barely asked the question and your first response was to bite his head off and insult his qualities as a person. You might want to consider therapy if your first response to innocent questions and dialogue is to scream and foam at the mouth.
There was an update, when she found the sister she tried to stalk her and then when she eventually told the sister the situation she had to be blocked by the sister due to her behaviour.
Lesbian creeps and stalkers are way more common most people think (lesbians are more likely to stalked by previous or current or in this case prospective partners than straight women) but society doesn't take women being creeps seriously in a lot of cases.
12 years old is plenty old enough to be kept in the loop about family health issues. She wasn’t even kept in the loop about how long she had to stay with her grandparents or why!
Lol, I love how reddit glosses over what the opposite situation would call "casual misandry."
Story 1: Yeah YTA. When my little sister was born (I was 4) my parents left me at my aunt and uncle’s house while my mom was in labor. It lasted longer than anticipated and my dad didn’t check in with me for two days. I thought they were mad at me and got really upset- it also didn’t help that I was afraid of the dark and my aunt refused to let me use my night light (still think that was an AH move on her part).
Kids need reassurance.
Story 2: WTH is wrong with op? They sound so dang bitter and regretful of their child. I mean the literally ask their friend a question and go off on her about the answer. Definitely the AH.
Notice how op kept dodging sams responses/questions by rewording them back at her as answers
Being environmentally secure, ie; home, food, transportation, income, etc makes things easier, kids or not.
Best thing to pass time with
The 1 of 7 who escaped a toxic family. OP, I have families, like your's, in my extended families. The simple truth is: WHAT WE ARE IS BASED SOLELY ON OUR CHOICES. I have a family of cousins in which the Middle Child chose the military to escape the cesspool of their family. He is the only not living in that cesspool to this day. Any one of your siblings could have made better choices. If they are coming to you for help, they don't care about you: they just want money, and if you give them a dime, they will bleed you dry. They will steal anything not nailed down, they will destroy the exterior of you home just to get into it, to steal everything inside.
No, Calling CPS is the better answer for you, and honestly, I think you should move just to hide from them.
1) so let me get this right OP’s babies are in the hospital possibly might need surgery I’m not entirely sure which is already stressful. And to keep the older ones safe because they don’t know when they’re going to be home they send the older one to the grandparents house. Yes oh he should have called his daughter to let her know that everything was okay but sometimes when your mind is going 1000 mi./s you will overlook things the child was safe with her grandparents she was not abandoned.
The real issue is the stepmother. Because she didn’t want to go get the daughter as soon as possible.
Nope, you don't drop the ball like this. Two parents and a team of medical professionals. Only one needs to be there to make medical decisions. The world doesn't stop turning and you don't just more or less ghost a kid, especially a child you're already traumatizing with prior behaviour from the stepmother, because one's sick. Stop defending this guy.
@@pansprayers I’ve seen plenty of parents go to the bedside of one child mostly the younger one if they possibly might need surgery especially if a baby gets something stuck in its stomach I’m not sure why you think this is abnormal I don’t know if mommy and daddy didn’t love you enough but that’s on you not me.
The only sings this dude did wrong was not check up on his daughter that’s it the real issue is the stepmother I said what I said and I mean what I said
First story; ATA. How dare you abandon your daughter for new family. The poor girl would grow up resenting you
Wow, the parents in story 1 are just plain horrible. Both of them (op AND his wife)
1st story: He’s the AH she’s already finding ways alienating daughter wanted just him, twins happy new family alone as long as possible.
4. Story: YTA
good that OP showed her character before the coworker was able to introduce his sister, just imagine OP showing her character after getting together with the sister and the sister starting to hate OP because he set her up with someone abusive
@@SnowyWolborg didn't know about her coming clean, but knew the rest, thanks
Story 2: OP is seriously trying to maintain that being a single mother with a child who’s father has skipped out is no harder than having a child with a stable engaged partner? Then why is there story after story about kids who say their single mother made them feel guilty for all the sacrifices she had to make? Or so many single parent stories where they cry for their child having a deadbeat parent that just disappoints the kids and is no support? Of course having 2 people makes raising kids easier. Having a green space literally outside your door makes it easier to let them run and play. OP is jealous and projecting hard.
You have to be careful with the co worker thing. I do advise against going to HR so fast, people that do that do that rarely do well in the office, especially if the office requires team work. At least make it look like you tried to work it out before getting HR being involved. You also have to know the co worker you are talking to, if you are not 100% sure they are comfortable than don't say anything. Also I would like to point out that OP seems to call her boss a friend, it makes me wonder if she has had history of going to the boss to talk about co workers (I also have always had great relationship with my bosses, but I never actually considered them friends while I was under their leadership, its good to have that great relationship, but you have to be careful that others do not claim favoritism).
Side note: I have know a girl that used to run to HR with everything, even situations that do not involve her. Lets just say the whole office turned on her. She accused someone of asking her out, but the guy that she accused is openly gay (he has a picture of his boyfriend in his office), and he was trying to schedule whole department to go for a movie as a team bonding...... Lets just say that my department is very protective of our friend, and that before anyone knew it she developed a reputation.
Side Note 2: Do not post stuff on social media about your work, especially if your co workers hate you.
Side Note 3: When she did that I was already interviewing for a promotion at a different department 20 floors away, so I do not know exactly how bad things got for her, but I do know that every mistake she made was brought up by the remaining co workers in a way that her bosses boss heard about it.
But how he found out sounds so stupid. He guessed based on a screensaver!!! So if op had a screensaver of buffy would he assume she was gay.
@@hothead2463 I have a feeling that OP might have excluded few things out of her story that would have made her sound bad
@@pawel2669 No. She said she went to the manager that also a friend to op outside the office and they told op what the guy said. He had said he found out based on Xena warrior princess screensaver she had.
@@hothead2463 yeah he told that to manager, I am just saying that it’s possible she omitted something in her post. The Buffy thing is weird, i know few women that love that show and they are both straight
@@pawel2669 That's because I didn't know that Xena is apparently the most know for lesbians. Not that old.
Jealousy for Sam is just gushing out of this opie like an overflowing river.
Step monsters are threatened by bio children and Amelia deserves a better family. Bastion isn’t the only child ffs. Older kids have feelings too
Story1, Dad did call but between selfish new wife and daughter Grand parent's being difficult,(when Gdaughter felt abandoned why didn't they call Dad or try to assure her she's loved and wanted) Dad and Daughters relationship is doomed
STORY #1
YTA. There was no good reason to send Amelia away. OP needs to apologize to Amy, make it clear she didn't do anything wrong and that it won't happen again, and make it up to the poor girl. Then, OP needs to sit Suze down and make it clear Cinderella shit won't be tolerated.
STORY #2
YTA. OP's comments were hurtful and unnecessary. She was shitting on Sam's happy plans because she thinks caution is stupid.
STORY #3
NTA. The three of them openly disrespected OP's wife at his wedding. He has every right to kick them out of the ceremony and out of his life, and the same goes for any relative trying to extend an olive branch.
STORY #4
YTA. OP obviously didn't owe coworker a "yes", but there was no reason for her to be so hostile to someone she knew and previously got along well with.
Here's how the conversation would have gone if OP was less defensive.
Coworker: "Are you single?"
OP: "Yes. Why do you ask?"
Coworker: "Well, my sister is single too and I think the two of you would hit it off." *describes sister*
OP: "Oh, she sounds cool. Sure, I'll meet her for coffee."
Coworker: "Great! I'll let her know."
-Or-
OP: "Thanks for the offer, but I'm still not interested."
Coworker: "Alright then. No worries."
Instead, OP got angry and made assumptions. She assumed Coworker was hitting on her, then she assumed Coworker's friend was a man, then she assumed Coworker's friend wanted a one-night stand instead of just a meeting for coffee. In this case "Assume" only made an ass of OP, and now she lost Coworker as a friend.
Hopefully OP can take this as a lesson to not assume the worst of people in her life.
STORY #5
NTA. Family is love, and that's clearly not present between OP and Bio-Siblings. OP's Bio-Parents were awful, and the other siblings clearly took after them.
Coworker Story
So OP's first impulse was to insult him and her second one was going to HR. Can't imagine why the coworker doesn't want to talk to her anymore.
Yeah, really. Ridiculous woman, that one.
There was an update, when she found the sister she tried to stalk her and then when she eventually told the sister the situation she had to be blocked by the sister due to her behaviour.
Lesbian creeps and stalkers are way more common most people think (lesbians are more likely to stalked by previous or current or in this case prospective partners than straight women) but society doesn't take women being creeps seriously in a lot of cases.
Op married the wrong woman for his family- I agree with the last commenter. Time to block Mary on everything! And I would tell you Mom and Sis that you won't be speaking to them for months, because of how they hurt you and your wife ON YOUR WEDDING DAY. Let the three of them stew in their own misery. When you do contact them, if there isn't an apology, or they bring up Mary, tell them they failed again, and you won't speak to them for a year this time.
Honestly, they are obviously, not going to stop with this, since this has been going on for 7 years. WHY IS MARY PLAYING INTO THIS? HOW DOES A GROWN WOMAN DELUDE HER SELF FOR 7 YEARS? The ONLY question you never answered: WHO IS TRULY PUSHING THIS MADNESS OF YOU WITH MARY? IS THIS TRULY YOUR FAMILY, OR IS MARY THE INSTIGATOR? Cutting your family off for a few months, might wake them up to the fact that Mary is destroying their relationship with you. If this is the family pushing this, again, how does a grown woman believe she still has a chance on your bloody wedding day?!
You and your wife need to spend several months away from that, and honestly, you might need to cut them off, entirely.