There’s something very off with this. If dad left money to kid, how did mom and stepdad get their hand on it? A lawyer should have sealed that account when dad drew up the will. Either it’s a verbal agreement or mom committed fraud.
@@mattwho81 it COULD be either that the mom was made his executor, or that she was made the trustee of a trust for her son until his majority. Either way, it's STILL misuse of funds and embezzlement.
The mother in that story is a thief, plain and simple. A white collar thief, no less. An opportunist who saw a chance and took it, no matter the expense to others' lives.
Demand an audit on your inheritance and once it’s proven they stole from you have them removed from your house and charged with fraud ... they’ve got to have broken some laws
Things that deserve a lengthy prison sentence: •Stealing from your kids •Stealing your child’s inheritance •Financial abuse of a child Oh, looks like a life sentence for mom and stepdad!
Story 1: NTA. I’d see what you can do legally. If your the family think he’s TA, if you think he’s TA, and if a JUDGE think he’s TA, he might just be TA!
Gonna have to wait until OP's 18. Minors can't sue unless there's a very specific, arduous process followed to do so, usually involving law enforcement and moths if not years of legal filings on behalf of the police and other authorities.
I agree! OP’s parents were divorced and she remarried.. the money wasn’t meant to be used by them! Op should get a lawyer for sure.. they obviously misused the money.. Story 2.. OP’s husband is a huge AH! She should leave this jerk! He throws her things away to punish and teach her a lesson? I’d throw his ass to teach him a lesson !
@@pansprayers Yes, and no. If he can show they already blew through the majority of his estate surreptitiously, and the remainder is under threat of being drained prior to his 18th birthday, there are processes in place to put an immediate injunction on the estate to prevent further draining. (The house with no loan, combined with his estate missing approximately the same amount, is proof enough to warrant further investigation and inunction, as long as he has a good attorney and a semi-human judge..) At that point, he can begin to make the case to start the investigation and lawsuit prior to his 18th birthday. There are *always* ways to use the law to get help that would otherwise be unavailable to use when the need calls for it.
Karma would be if mother and stepdad had to sign deed to house they bought with son's $$ over to son. Sounds like their dipping into son's inheritance is the only way they have anything. Stealing from a child deserves prison time plus restitution plus a financial penalty.
Throws away her stuff to “teach her a lesson”?!?! Darling you need to grab your daughter pack some stuff and run. It’s only going to get worse and heaven forbid he turns his attention towards the daughter
"why don't you call one of your friends to take care of Cloe? Oh right, you don't have any" he is also emotionaly manipulative on top of all, OP needs to get out with her kid as soon as she can.
If your husband is throwing away your items you should leave him. That's abusive. Manipulative. Evil. He's doing everything he can to hurt his own wife's feelings. He's a POS. Start recording all conversations with him. Save all texts. All emails. He's going to manipulate your kids as best he can.
@@brat46 That was my thought too. Take some stuff he doesn't regularly use and sell it on Craigslist or something less traceable to get her money back for all the shit he threw away. And if he does realize it's missing, just say "I threw it away to tech you a lesson for XYZ!" just as he does. I'm even willing to bet he's not actually throwing her stuff away, but giving it away. Assholes like him, who throw temper tantrums when they are forced to "babysit" their own children, even in the face of emergency, because their date night with "the boys" is more important than his kids, is also the same type of asshole to have a side piece as well. He also sounds controlling as hell, and some controlling assholes like reminders. Trophies to reminisce on and revel in that control, because they are sick mother fuckers. I don't know why, but I feel a jackass like that would likely get more pleasure seeing his wife's necklace on his side piece, knowing he's deprived and hurt his wife, "taught her a lesson", and at the same time rewarded his side piece for tickling his toothpick, than he would get from just throwing it out - never to be seen again.
Hell, just refusing to take care of your own child while your spouse is with a hospitalized parent is a huge red flag that you’ve married a selfish POS.
Story 1, I definitely need some kind of update to know what came of it, did he get a lawyer? Did his parent/step parent have to give him his money back? Sell the house or sign it over to him? UPDATES!!! STORIES WITH UPDATES!!!!!
Yeah, that's kind of the problem with these Reddit channels. There used to be a wealth of stories with updates. Now, all the channels have caught up and they only have the most recent stories to choose from, most of which have not been around long enough to gather updates.
MSNBC is/was actually covering the first story. Apparently a Law Office reached out because of this and OP was deemed NTA on Reddit. There are no updates so far outside of OP clarifying his Mother's child support and how OP is going to reach out to the Estate Lawyer. I genuinely hope this goes well for him.
@@Original_Tenshi_Chan Okay, first I’m going to do a cut and paste from one of the commenters, then I’ll put the link in a SEPARATE POST after. The reason is sometimes TH-cam gets funky w/posts w/links, so I don’t want this entire c/p to disappear. Here goes: Clearly *not* your area of law. 30+ yrs as a trial attorney, 20+ in probate/estate planning field. The advice about the statute of limitations starting at age 18 is the only solid piece of advice in the above post. Mom should have received SS funds for both OP and herself in equal amounts up until he turned 16. She is then expected to get a full time job. She was and remains legally liable to support him, not visa-versa. After age 16, she receives the funds on behalf of the OP. She can use the entirety if needed for *his* support, not hers, certainly not hubby’s. My youngest was 13 when her father (63) died (we were married and together). After age 16, I banked 25% for her personal allowance use, used the balance for her separate expenses such as music lessons, uncovered personal therapy (I paid half as parent), special travel, music subscriptions etc. I paid all the ordinary expenses. SS funds are not meant for step-anythings. Unless OP graduates high school at 18, funds continue to 19, graduation, whichever comes later. However, at 18, the funds legally belong to the OP. I brought my youngest to the bank shortly after her bd, helped her open a checking and savings account. I charged no rent or other basics bc she didn’t graduate until age 19, in June 2020. I worked with her on setting up her own appointments, getting own insurance, not even taking her as a dependent on my taxes. Adulting 101. I also handed over copies of all trust, life insurance, and SS information for her own file cabinet when she turned 18 and had her both open a personal bank box as well as speak with an experienced estate attorney without my being there. Parent owes a fiduciary duty to minor OP, irrespective of state. As a probate/estate planning/conservatorship/guardianship attorney, I was court appointed for a teen whose father and stepmother ripped him off. It involved a wrongful death payment for the mother he watched die in front of him at age nine. I seized their huge double cab 4WD truck, their beachfront home, their tax returns, the car they bought the stepdaughter, and the business assets he obtained through the use of his son’s funds. Not exactly the work of a “bank teller.” The OP should try to find out if the funds were his through a probate or by way of life insurance proceeds. He needs an advocate in his corner. If there is a trustworthy family member or friend of Dad’s, they may be able to help find an experienced litigator within the overall probate field. Also, there are probably records relating to his inheritance at home. Morally, thieves have no right to privacy from their victim but OP DO NOT risk your safety to get them. If they are readily available, take private photos or make copies and send to someone outside of home keep them safe, keep no copies at home or on your phone. To the OP: no, you are NTA. Both your mother and step are TAs. FINALLY: Don’t confront them on this anymore for your own personal safety. Do *not* threaten prosecution. See also if there is an adult who could take you immediately in an emergency. A CPS/criminal complaint is not the starting place. And no, I’m not hustling for a job here. I’m retired, no longer a licensed attorney and am *not* looking for work. I simply spent decades actively protecting vulnerable elders, minors and individuals with disabilities from greedy people, most of whom were family members. Best of luck, OP.
In my country, when a parent dies and until the child (or children) are legal adults, the remaining parent has a family court looking over their shoulder to make sure everything is above board with the kid’s inheritance. I guess to avoid situations like this one where remaining parent steals from their own child.
I wish it were that way here. My best friend's Mom stole a house he inherited from his grandmother. She illegally had his name and his late father's names taken off the deed & now he has no claim to it even though he repaired it and pays the taxes on it.
Weren't the guests HIS guests? GET A LAWYER PRONTO! Hopefully your dad had one to write his will to protect you. Your mother and stepfather are disgusting.
'Pronto' is going to have to be whenever they turn 18. Sucks, but minors can't hire lawyers without parent/guardian cooperation or a LONG process that involves law enforcement.
You told your husband to stop using your kids. He said ok, and then he did it again. He recognized that you didn't like it, SAID HE WOULDN'T DO IT, did it the next morning, and then he wants to get pissy after getting called out for doing something HE ALREADY SAID HE WOULD STOP DOING.
I can't imagine sending my husband kisses through children. What's so wrong with OP that he doesn't want to kiss her personally? Arguing through the little ones - wth that's beyond toxic.
And he is the step-dad, is he kissing the children to pass the kiss on to his wife? That is creepy in so many ways, he is touching those kids on pretense to pass on kisses to their mum. Who does that.
@@julianne089 Yeah, I kinda got that groomer vibe too, or a "normalization" vibe. (Basically, to normalize using the children as pawns, shields, and bludgeons he can use against OP. After all, she can't get mad at the kids, he can hand wave away her reservations as "uptight and heartless" for "not wanting kisses from the kids" while ignoring the other parts, normalize their unhealthy interaction in the kids' minds, and also to diminish or stop her reactions to him. What I mean by that last part is, if OP KNOWS without a doubt, that he will use the kids as a go between for their next fight, she may be less likely to stand up for herself and fight back. She may be more likely to accept his bullshit, in effort to spare the kids being used and manipulated.) One way or the other, there are TOO many red flags, this feels creepy, and she needs to take her kids and leave.
In abusive relationships like this (OP goes into more detail in the comments about what he's done to her), you can't fight fire with fire. Even though a relationship isn't physically abusive, it could go that way if the victim fights back. This is the wrong advice to give somebody in any type of abusive relationship because there will always be an escalation. My mum jumped from an abusive relationship straight into another one with my stepdad who did throw away our belongings whenever he got angry. He eventually stopped when he got called out on it, but the other forms of abuse were very much present and since I was a child, I thought it was normal. However, fighting fire with fire will cause an escalation. Trust me. I speak on experience from this... And it is absolutely dangerous, especially when you are a child having to fight off an attack by somebody who is supposed to be your father and is ten times your size.
Fourth story: I'll confess that the idea of sending kisses through children is _kinda_ cute. But everything in moderation. And if the kids don't like it, it stops being cute and starts being creepy. Add on that the kids continue to play messenger even through a fight is troubling. You don't get kids involved in a fight between you and your partner.
Children being forced to show affection when they don't want to is disgusting. It removes their bodily autonomy and ignores their feelings entirely. Forced hugs, kisses, pinched cheeks, none of it is appropriate.
When I refused to get a job my dad said job or volunteer but you will leave the house during the day I started volunteering it changed my entire outlook on life I got my crap together and now have a good life
People dont understand or appreciatte how horrific it is to be depressed and felling guilty over not being able to do stuff. So when a idea like "i wont do anything because it's pointless" comes out, people get annoyed, think is lazyness. They dont understand how it feels to be so hopeless and how this crushes you inside. To feel like nothing has meaning, or a point and be ashamed to think it is very dehumanizing.
while I don't think mental illness should be wiped off the table don't forget there are also a lot of these kinds of stories of kids who are just lazy mooches who see no reason to work because mom and dad will take care of them and we don't call those people depressed.
@@velvety2006 Yeah, but this kid has ADHD and has been also diagnosed with anxiety. It’s not unreasonable to assume that this is him spiraling rather than being a lazy mooch. A lot of neurodivergents have trouble with the transition to adulthood due to the sudden loss of structure and difficulty learning social norms for the workplace. On top of that, this young man is reaching adulthood during an economically difficult situation (and he’s right about the student loans). And people forget how debilitating anxiety can be.
@@velvety2006 I agree, there are people who lie and use mental issues as crutches. The point i'm trying to make is, dont brush it off as lazyness so quickly. Specially someone with a complex diagnosis like OP's kid. There is no time table to 'get well' and if someone is not improving, maybe search for different options, a different therapist, maybe change the medice or calibrate doses. People sometimes think a shrink or some pills will "fix" their kid, that is not realistic. The road to recovery in a case o mental illness is endless. You can control your problem, you cant cure it. So i think it's a matter of investigating why. Not pointing blame first, looking for answers later.
@@pinkdoobieYeah, the kid is probably going through something really tough. No one goes to Nihilism and proclaiming that everything is pointless because they are ok and just dont want to do something. That's a very radical response. Op needs to look into why they are not seeing results on his kid, he needs help.
Last story: Well clearly the crazy ex ISN'T "all bark and no bite" considering he HAS shown up at work TWICE. A friend had a similar situation. And despite never actually seeing her Ex, they found out her Ex had been parking close by, but not actually in the parking lot so then if she saw her leave alone, she could rush over there.
Exactly. The ex probably IS lurking somewhere out of sight and is waiting for Matt to walk to his car in a dark parkinglot (which probably has no/crappy cameras) alone.
I agree. I’d like to know if OP would be such a dismissive jerk if the co-worker were female. A scared teenager is being stalked and harassed and has asked for the same courtesy that women are routinely trained to request (an escort to his car after work at night), and OP mocks him for it? Come on.
Probably not. And since I posted that. I have been thinking. OP was most likely the only one asked because he probably was the most intimidating looking one there that the poor kid knew and most likely, until OP shot his mouth off like that, trusted.
@@Zanzetihunter it sounds like the entire store is behind Matt in this situation, why aren’t a few of his coworkers or hell even the management being the untrained bodyguards? OP isn’t that much older, there’s only 6 years between them! And maybe, just maybe, he doesn’t think it’s that serious because *no one* has filed a police report (either Matt himself or the management) so maybe he thinks “no police report = not that bad”? But more importantly it doesn’t matter if OP is the burliest guy in the place, cos unlike Superman I doubt he could stop a bullet or a blade if the guy turned out to be serious and OP did it out of peer pressure! The hypocrites can bugger right off with that thinking cos judging OP for something they themselves refuse to do (IDGAF what their reasons are) makes them assholes!
@@Mscrimsondragon Or he's pulling a "boy who cried wolf" gambit. It's common with starkers they make empty threats for a while so that people (especially the authorities) stop taking the victim fear seriously and then strike. (Friend of mien had a messy divorce and her lawyer warned her about this tacit, It might make you feel better to call the cops every time they make a threat but don't. Call the first time and if they don't follow threw take safety measures and document. If you call repeatedly about false threats it can actually come against you if/when you go for an restraining order)
Last story: YTA 100% look dude, i can undestand not wanting to walk him to his car but you really had to tell him he was "being a girl" about being paranoid about a psycho showing up at his work? Reject doing it if you want or ask someone else to do it for you, don't act like you wouldn't be scared of there was a weirdo ex threatening to show up at your work, he has all the right to feel unsafe about this.
Okay the comment was uncalled for, BUT why should the burden be on OP alone? Why aren’t any of his other coworkers who are clearly sooo concerned for Matt or even the management walking him out? Why OP _every day day Matt works? I agree with Iamwen03, reports should be made and the law made aware because, assuming Matt is telling the truth about it all, why should OP take on the role of his bodyguard?
Last story: If it was a young girl being harassed by her ex would he be so reluctant to walk her to her car? Yes he's male but that doesn't make the fear he feels any less valid.
THANK YOU for saying this! I said almost the exact same thing when I heard this story! Bet op would be happy to play "white night" if it was a woman. Jeez walking somebody to their car is not that big of a deal. Of course, op does have the right to say no.... but did he have to be a misogynist about it?
I think why does it have to be him all the time? It has been months and nothing has happened. Why only OP? What about any other coworker. I will say the “stop acting like a girl” was uncalled for but he shouldn’t be expected to be 24/7 protection
@@nyxspiritsong5557 yeah, i doesn't have to do it if he doesn't want to, but he is an idiot for being such an asshole about it. Any person of any age or gender would be scared in Matt's situation.
Agreed but the company should have security. I'm a nurse and we've had nurses threatened because some people have this weird sex thing with some nurses so they have hired security to walk you to your car at night. This company should have that for their employees. It shouldn't be a co-worker's responsibility to put themselves at risk because another coworker has a crazy ex. Mind you Op's attitude pretty toxic.
being forced to give hugs and kisses as a kid made me hate physical affection so, so much. I've only warmed up to it with a partner that is both very affectionate and (most importantly) completely respects my boundaries and doesn't take it personally when I don't wanna be touched.
Story 4: NTA. First off, what he is teaching your kids is that affection is mandatory and not something they have the right to deny. Secondly by doing this he’s creating a barrier between the two of you. Affection should be enthusiastic and consented to and your Husband is denying both of those requirements.
So in the last story if one was to replace Matt with a 17-year'old girl, would op be saying that her coworker is overreacting? Also that stop acting like a girl comment is very offensive to both genders: so girls are weak and need protection but a guy is supposed to be tough? Not saying that op should become Matt's shift buddy everyday but op should not be dismissing his fear of his ex. Again if Matt was Matty with the crazy ex op would probably not have the same attitude
Eye. Sexism is what it is. Even with all that is said. There is ALWAYS A chance his ex can come after and do far worse. To physically cut up. T death to him and OP and more people related.
Why has Matt not reported this to the police? There is obvious proof of stalking and threatening behavior. Make it official. It's what the police are for. If Matt was female you can be certain that would have already been done.
Two things: one I’m a woman and even I sometimes say to my male relatives “don’t be a girl”, because back then it was a joke and no one started marches over it. But more importantly and secondly: why should it be OP *alone?* Why is he the only one capable of walking the lad to his car? What about these other workers/management who were so mad at OP? Unless they’re willing to do the same then they can STFU because why should OP risk his own safety/job?
Exactly. People are saying that Matt should call the police, but I don't know why he isn't calling the police. There are reasons why there might not be a police report. 1) The entire bias when it comes to male victims of DV. He might also feel shame as a male victim. 2) The entire situation of not wanting to condemn a gay man, for PC/Diversity reasons. (Yes, it is a thing. Not wanting to rock the boat with activist groups is something some cops fear, because of overreaction of the public. Sad that the few crazy cops can ruin the rest from protecting law abiding citizens from genuine criminals of minority groups.) 3) The Ex is connected. He knows someone in the force, or in the city hall, etc. He might not be able to. 4) Emotional coercion. The ex might have threatened him that if he were to call the police, the ex will do something. There are a lot of female victims of DV that find it hard to involve authorities because their exbf is crazy enough to threaten them. 5) Stuck in emotional limbo. In a way, he might not know how to emotionally leave the situation of fear. He might need an advocate to bring him to the police to properly talk to them. 6) Brutal local police force. If the police force is known to be extremely easy to get brutal on citizens, he might not be willing to go ask the police for help, as they might be willing to beat him up as well. 7) Is on the bad side of a cop. It could be that one of the cops never warmed up to him, or a former bully could be one of the primary cops around. (Or even a relative of a school bully) Hell, he could have been tossed out by his family, and a direct family member is a cop. 8) Lack of knowledge on resources he could tap. Some think that they would be wasting police time. One or some of these could be good reasons why a police record might not be filed. Plus, if they are the only ones who share shifts together, why should another employee wake up, go out of their way, escort him, then go home? The buddy system is important. We don't know what the ex will do, or is capable of doing. It isn't something that really goes out of the OP's way. Some people think that men=buff gym guy that can fight off King Kong by himself. And it's like you said, genderswap it, and a lot of the people here would sing a different tune. Especially if the ladies here that are commenting would be said woman in the scenario, if their ex bf were stalking them. He's a kid, so he doesn't know what he can do.
17:00. Decades ago my buddy and I were early 20’s. Two young girls screamed at us. Brother. What are you doing here they were surrounded by older guys We knew what was up. Played it of. Bought them lunch and waited till parents came. Do the right thing
There’s an entire store of other employees, including management (but oddly no security), why is OP the only one capable of fulfilling the role of bodyguard? He’s hardly an adult himself at 23, between that and the lack of a police report (which to me means “not that serious”) I won’t shame him for not wanting the job everyone else decided he should do!
I feel for everyone in story 3 (the newly minted adult with ADHD and anxiety). There isn’t adequate support for neurodivergents during the transition to adulthood and employment, and a lot of us fall flat on our faces. Add to that an anxiety order and probably depression, plus the current economic situation, and it’s no wonder he feels hopeless. But I also have compassion for the father who is also lacking the tools to help his son and is now frantically trying everything, including punishment.
Needless to mention the adhd kid is 100% right about western nations and the utter failure the boomers have left for their children; millenials and zoomers alike. The boomer father still operates under the delusion that it's easy to buy a house and everything else. What was 8,000 in his day is 800,000 today.
@@michaelplunkett8059 people aren't desperate to immigrate here lmao. Most immigrants continue straight on to Canada actually. Those are those on the western hemisphere btw. America is ass. The western imperial core has destroyed the world as a whole. You're not ready for that conversation yet though.
Story 2 - NTA. Get into counseling or get a divorce, throwing out your items during or after disagreements or arguments is absolutely unreasonable. He’s a loser man child.
Counseling does not work with abusers, especially this kind of abuse. He even used counselling against OP and said that she was the one crazy enough to need that service. I speak from experience when I say that OP needs to pack the hell up and get out of that relationship. Her thirteen year old daughter is old enough in many jurisdictions to choose who she wants to live with full time.
It’s literally a sign of abuse turning physical later, he’s harming inanimate objects to emotionally hurt her. It’s a step away of hurting her physically to hurt her emotionally.
@@drewthistlethwaite8909 not to mention hurting his daughter who made her the jewelry in the first place. My stepdad would throw out my belongings every time he started a fight until I put a lock on my door and told him never to enter my bedroom. He stopped throwing out our belongings when his best friend called him out for it and had a go at him. He refused to go to counselling and he resumed being verbally, emotionally and psychologically abusive. Even crossing the line into physical abuse until I punched him in the face when he had me cornered against the sink screaming at me when I was a fourteen year old schoolgirl. He didn't put his hands on me after that until the day he dragged me out of the house when I was fifteen and told me to go find my bio dad because he was no longer my father. ETA: stepdad often used my absent father and my trauma against me, too.
Second story: Throw all his shit in the trash, and tell him that if he goes to be with his buddies, he'll be coming back to changed locks and divorce papers. For that matter, OP should divorce him anyway. He *destroys her property* to 'teach her a lesson'. That's literal, textbook abuse.
Um, why does he need the kids to "pass along" his affection for her? Does he ever actually show physical affection toward his wife or does he have to ALWAYS have the kids do it for him? Setting aside the mental and emotional strain all this is putting on OP's kids for a moment, I'm also worried on OP's behalf.
If this was your wife, daughter or mother & a security guard refused to walk them to their car if they were being stalked & threatened how would you feel? Would you tell them to grow up & handle it? My dad was a state trooper & he would have had a patrol officer at least drive through the parking lot if there were no emergencies going on.
I’m wondering because of these stories (#1) with inheritance intended for the kid is abused by the surviving parent, can the Will be written where the surviving parent/guardian cannot have access or lay claim to the money until said child(ren) are of age?
yeah it can. here courts appoint .. trustee? that supervises the money. money can be used by remaining partner but they have to request it and give explanation where money is going.
This is why you need to have an attorney write up a will. In general (in the US), any money or assets that are intended for the child when they grow up should be put in trust. It’s also possible to put aside money for use in raising the child, though that is more commonly done through life insurance and survivor’s benefits. I am guessing in this story that either the father didn’t put the money in trust or he made the mistake of appointing the mother as the trustee.
Knowing my mom she would never take my money. But I'd do what ever I could to treat her for taking great care of 5 boys. Not that she would accept anything. She would rather I use it on myself.
Last story -NTA. So why should you put your life in danger for someone else? I've seen enough 20/20's where someone snaps and kills the ex. So whoever called you the AH is an AH. What if the ex comes after you? Is your job description "bodygard " You should.not risk your life for anything. If your co worker has a problem,he should call the cops
1st story: you can guarantee the stepfather felt entitled to do it since his wife had to pay child support for her own kid! He absolutely needs to get a lawyer and they either put the house in his name and move or pay him back. He surely has a case against them.
2nd story: As someone with severe ADHD (42m, diagnosed only at 32) ... OP is kind of the AH, but not for what he is trying right now. He is bc he failed to address his sons ADHD properly. Its likely the diagnosis was not too long ago (anxiety and depression follow closely if ADHD is not treated properly). The brute force method will not work at this point (anymore). Try to understand how his brain works first - work with him to figure out what motivates him (even if that is "professional gamer" ^^) 3 tips: - check out the TH-cam-channel "how to adhd" - I found it very helpful and some clips are especially for family - lack of sports worsens my ADHD (even with medication it makes a huge difference - covid really did screw me over) - maybe look into that - for me vitamin D plays a huge part. if I don't go outside (and in general during the winter) the medication works way less efficient. --> try to remember if his mood is worse during winter and if so ... make sure he gets enough light (go outside, lots of windows, daylight lamps), consider even to try 1-2 weeks on holiday in the south (worked wonders for me - that's how I actually recognised the difference. every 2nd year we would spend some time at the beach in Dec and those very years were the only ones when I wasn't feeling low in Jan/Feb)
The last story makes me sick. Somehow men who get harassed is told to "handle it by yourself"? That "be a man" stigma is poison and it forces men to use violent measures to stop things like harassment when they didn't have to resort to that.
The comment was uncalled for ... but assuming there is a real threat a) why should OP be the only one risking his own safety and b) why has no police report been made? Hell where are Matt’s family and friends in all this?! I’d say the same thing if it were a woman which is “sorry but I’m not a trained bodyguard!”
@@LadyLeomon The kid is 17 and probably has no clue how to go about doing those things. Someone needs to step up and tell him what he needs to do. As for his parents and family, maybe they disapprove of same sex relationships and refuse to help him out. I've seen that attitude in the parents and families of gay people. Their attitude is, "Well, it's your fault because you're gay and dated a gay guy. Deal with it yourself!" Some families would consider Matt getting the crap beaten out of him by an ex lover as just punishment for being gay. We don't know. Maybe Matt sees OP as his closest coworker and is convinced no one else will help him because he's afraid at least some of his co workers have that attitude towards LGPTQ people.
@@bunnyslippers191 even if he does not know, management is aware of the situation what's stopping them from helping him make a report to the police, even if they don't do anything at least there will be a paper trail
Exactly, the lack of a police report either from Matt himself or the management is honestly vexing. To me “no police report = not that serious”, and I don’t blame OP for thinking that.
Story 2: NTA. OP hun, you know this isn’t a healthy relationship right? Like it’s not at all normal or healthy for a grown man to throw away thing whenever you have an argument.
Although it has been posted about hubby throwing away your things, I had to toss in my 2 cents. OP, I honestly know exactly how you are feeling. Although mine was while growing up the feeling is the same. It is a difficult feeling to express just how much it hurts and how you feel betrayed. This man child that you are married to has "zero" respect for you. Think about what he did to you. He threw out something that cannot be replaced. I get that she can remake it but it will never hold that exact special feeling when she first gave it to you. I cannot stress enough that you need to leave him. What he did and the fact that it was a punishment ls beyond a "teach you a lesson" it is a form of extreme abuse. Please remove this behavior from you and your daughters life.
Get something of your husband's of value and sell it for the tools AND tell him you threw it away and will continue to throw away items until he buys the tools.
@@mekaplush2148 I was actually in this position (found out my abusive ex worked at my new job, and began stalking me) and had 0 issues getting my TL who was a large man to walk me to my car at night. Everyone deserves safety and to feel safe.
@@SheenaReine yes everyone does deserve to feel safe, including OP. At no point in the story does he mention that he is a paid security guard trained to mess up troublemakers likes the ex. Why has it been decided that he *alone* should take the risk while everyone else is calling him TA for wanting none of this mess that he had no part in making? Plus given that Matt has thus far not made a statement maybe OP took that fact as “it’s not that serious if he didn’t tell the law” and thus thinks accordingly? Or why hasn’t the store filed a complaint (disturbing the peace or whatever)? Why should it be OP’s burden *alone?*
...I don't get the YTA from the lazy kid story - I mean, I didn't get myself a degree when I was a kid, but do you know what I got myself? A MOTHER EFFIN' JOB. I was delivering parcels all over Rome, sun or rain, on a freakin' motorscooter. And, trust me on this, delivering seven boxes of printer paper on a motorscooter is NOT FUN. That crap is as heavy as me! Afterwards I got a programming degree, worked as a programmer, then as a secretary assistant, then I lost my job. But I effin' tried. And I keep effin' trying. It's SO easy to whine about society ending and no purpose existing when your pops and mom fork payola for everything and then some... Try having to live on stale chicken and flatbread for ONE MONTH, see how fun that is!
With the last story you're in the wrong big time the fact that you said stop acting like a girl is enough for you to be the a-hole but the whole fact that you're dismissing a dude who's clearly going through signs of domestic violence from a psychological standpoint tells me that you're not used to seeing men go through this as victims of domestic violence. There's definitely anti mayo and and Thai female rhetoric remarks in this that rain supreme. You're in the wrong big time and I suggest you look at issues of domestic violence from both ends of the stick.
Oh good God this is getting tiring! Why is everyone focusing on the comment alone and not the reason for it? The reason being that OP is *not* Matt’s personal bodyguard! It’s a scary thing Matt is going through BUT why is OP alone the only one he thinks can deter this “crazy ex”? If Matt is serious about this then he better tell the law so they can be aware, but also people need to lay off OP because I don’t see any of the coworkers *or management* are volunteering for the job!
@@LadyLeomon yes we are stuck on what Op said cause that was not the way to deal with it. And come on tell the law? The law will do fuck all until its too late, especially when its a man that gets threats.
@@couchpotato631 so f*ck using common-sense and telling the people who are actually paid to protect us? Nah fam, best guilt a total stranger into it and shame him mercilessly when he wants none of that? Free advice: pack pepper spray wherever you go because if this happens to you you’ll just accept it despite the very real possibility of you getting hurt? Nope, you’ll risk your safety without a second thought ... alas poor CouchPotato I knew him not but he died kowtowing to peer pressure by weaker hypocrites 😏😏😏
@@LadyLeomon common sense? The guy seems to think he is friends with Op and is asking... notice ASKING for help. Not demanding but asking. And Op was an ah about it, instead of just saying no I'm not comfortable doing that. At least to me common sense would be to just deny the request and not be a total ah about it, calling the victim a girl?
@@LadyLeomon And just to clarify what I mean. Op was in their right to refuse to walk Matt to the car. That's fine. In my books he is clear on that part. But how Op went about it makes him the ah. And how he obviously thinks men cant be the victims of abuse.
Story 3: NTA. I’ve experienced a lot of what your Son is going through but the big difference is I kept moving forward. You Son can be as doom and gloom as he wants but eventually he’s got to get up off is butt. Kick him out of the nest.
Management should be the one to escort Matt to his car. THEY get PAID to ensure employee safety, you do not. If Matt’s stalker did show up & harmed you, management, owner, company would be in the hook for a huge lawsuit. Matt needs to contact the police & start a file. They may not be able to do anything since it’s “only threats” right now but there would be a record. Maybe the police could sit in the parking lot for 5-10 minutes while Matt exits the building & is safely in his car. Why is Matt asking you only & not management or other employee?
This. Whilst I guess it toxic to say stop being a girl about it. Maybe OP doesn’t like Matt. Maybe he doesn’t like walking back on his own. Maybe it cold outside or he doesn’t want to walk? Maybe op had a really good leg day, the day before. At the end of the day it isn’t OP responsibility or problem. Management should be doing it. And everyone going he a kid dude. Op isn’t that much older than him. Who to say he that much wiser, or could responsibly managed and keep safe in that situation if it did happen or escalate.
Eight months of threats and he hasn't bothered to do anything about the threats? Where are the kids parents? Where are the ex's parents? Almost nine months of threats aren't just threats they're harassment, where are the cops?
Thank you so much! I’ve been going batty with all these comments saying OP is TA for not wanting to risk his own safety when Matt himself, or the store, isn’t concerned enough to tell the law!
Story 2: Wow, if there's a definition of an abuser, this is it. OP should leave him or her daughter will marry someone like this thinking it is alright. *Divorce*
If hubby has a gaming system , golf clubs , sports memorabilia, whatever ... sell them and tell him 2 can play that game if he throws your stuff away after an argument you’ll sell stuff and your daughter didn’t need any help figuring out her dad is a tool
Story 1. As in all inheritance cases insult with a lawyer. From the info provided the mother must have been the trustee of the money left by the Father so she has broken her duty under the law and will be liable for it. If this property has been bought solely with the money from the inheritance then OP should have it transferred into his name and then kick out both his mother and the step-father, he can then do what he wants with the house most probably sell it and go to college debt free and just buy himself an apartment. Whatever once this is settled OP go Hard NC with both of these people you don't need leeches like that in your life. I await an up-date. Good luck OP.
1st story. Get a lawyer OP. If there was any set stipulations set by your BIO Dad, that they went against, you can have them charged and can be forced to pay it back. They have some gal going on about you being selfish when they STOLE from you, Which is exactly what they did. They had no right and were not entitled to your inheritance. At the very least a Lawyer can tell you your options.
I don't get why they needed a large house when they already had a place to live.. I love when OP asked if they were going to move out when he wa ls 18 or 19. Also OP'S response when stepdad was pestering him, stepdad got what he deserved. OP get a lawyer. And get that money back and for someone to do an audit cuz it looks like your mom and stepdad are using that money from your dad for their own wants and who knows mom might be stealing money. It is sad when one can't trust ones parent's.
Story 1. Nta. I would talk to a lawyer when you're 18, and since that money was for you and they pretty much stole it, see if you can sue for the money or house, cause it was the last screw you to your dad after he passed, sorry for your loss. Then, kick them out.
It sounds like there is an entire store full of coworkers who support Matt (them all getting irked at OP is proof), yet I don’t see any of them lining up to be on bodyguard duty! Hell have them all walk Matt out and let the (potential) creeper know he’s got backup! Why is everyone else, including the management, dog-piling on OP like he’s Matt’s boyfriend who doesn’t care?!
@@LadyLeomon I think they are more upset about what OP said. It would be one thing if OP had asked Matt to ask other people but instead they held in resentment until they blew up and we're insulting. Matt thought he was getting help from a willing friend and got told to stop acting like a little girl among other things.
@@SnowyWolborg Matt is only 17 so probably still lives at home. From what I understand it seems hard to get a stalker reported because the police won't do much until something physical happens.
Last story: NTA NO ONE SHOULD BE WALKING ANYONE TO THEIR CAR. If someone is threaten, then they need to call the proper authorities to handle this. I worked with individuals in situations like these. Its all harmless until both end up hurt or worse. Its isn't safe for anyone. If management and coworkers want to put themselves in danger by all means they are welcome to. He needs to call police get a restraining order or tell his parents so that they might move him somewhere safer away. I don't care how you said it. This is a clear no. No means no. Your NTA for saying no.
Final Story: YTA. This is a serious situation poor Matt is in. Yes maybe his EX is all bark, or he’s just enough bite to handle one teenage boy. These stalking incidents can get very serious so if your so tired of walking him to his car then trade off with another co worker or help him get a safety device like pepper spray or a screamer.
If this was gender reversed, and Matt was an actual girl, then everyone would be on watch out and OP would be just fine walking this female to her car, but since it's a guy, OP doesn't give a darn.
@@rosemarie1817 that’s a lame argument. What if the Ex was a girl? if OP doesn’t feel comfortable to keep being 24/7 security, he doesn’t have to be, but for 8 months?! Nah. Rotate the help at least
There's been a whole lot of stalkers that weren't serious...until the people they stalked wound up dead. Then it's a little too late to say they were right for being scared.
@@blaiktrout376 The kid just wanted to make sure to leave safety not a bodyguard. He probably terrified. We don't know how bad things could have been when they were together. Maybe he has reason to think he could be capable of something.
Some of the red flags ppl are willing to put up with...As soon as my partner started throwing out my stuff or doing anything to "punish" me for an argument, I'd have divorce papers on the table or, if not married I'd already be out the door
The OP in the first story needs to get a lawyer and sue his mom and stepdad. It is possible it happened because the mom was left in charge of the OP’s funds until he is old enough. The mom broke her fiduciary responsibility and used the money illegally. The house needs to be sold to get the money back. OP needs to not let this go.
OP in the first story needs to consult an estate attorney. That situation should have never happened.
There’s something very off with this. If dad left money to kid, how did mom and stepdad get their hand on it? A lawyer should have sealed that account when dad drew up the will. Either it’s a verbal agreement or mom committed fraud.
@@mattwho81 it COULD be either that the mom was made his executor, or that she was made the trustee of a trust for her son until his majority. Either way, it's STILL misuse of funds and embezzlement.
The mother in that story is a thief, plain and simple. A white collar thief, no less. An opportunist who saw a chance and took it, no matter the expense to others' lives.
Demand an audit on your inheritance and once it’s proven they stole from you have them removed from your house and charged with fraud ... they’ve got to have broken some laws
OP's going to have to wait until they're 18. Minors have very little recourse, unfortunately.
I dont think he could get the house. He could sue and put a lien on the house.
@@ButtonsCasey Which in turn he will get the house because those two in no way have the money to pay that back.
I hope we get an update on this one.
Who let them have the money without proof the house was in your name ? SUE ALL OF THEM !
The mom, most likely. If she's the executrix, she is BONED. And she should be.
Court yes! They are both thieves and he's a petulant child.
Things that deserve a lengthy prison sentence:
•Stealing from your kids
•Stealing your child’s inheritance
•Financial abuse of a child
Oh, looks like a life sentence for mom and stepdad!
Story 1: NTA. I’d see what you can do legally. If your the family think he’s TA, if you think he’s TA, and if a JUDGE think he’s TA, he might just be TA!
Gonna have to wait until OP's 18. Minors can't sue unless there's a very specific, arduous process followed to do so, usually involving law enforcement and moths if not years of legal filings on behalf of the police and other authorities.
I agree! OP’s parents were divorced and she remarried.. the money wasn’t meant to be used by them! Op should get a lawyer for sure.. they obviously misused the money..
Story 2.. OP’s husband is a huge AH! She should leave this jerk! He throws her things away to punish and teach her a lesson? I’d throw his ass to teach him a lesson !
Yeah. I would not let that go.
@@pansprayers Yes, and no. If he can show they already blew through the majority of his estate surreptitiously, and the remainder is under threat of being drained prior to his 18th birthday, there are processes in place to put an immediate injunction on the estate to prevent further draining. (The house with no loan, combined with his estate missing approximately the same amount, is proof enough to warrant further investigation and inunction, as long as he has a good attorney and a semi-human judge..) At that point, he can begin to make the case to start the investigation and lawsuit prior to his 18th birthday. There are *always* ways to use the law to get help that would otherwise be unavailable to use when the need calls for it.
Sue them for your inheritance! Since it was your money, they need to pay it back.
Karma would be if mother and stepdad had to sign deed to house they bought with son's $$ over to son. Sounds like their dipping into son's inheritance is the only way they have anything. Stealing from a child deserves prison time plus restitution plus a financial penalty.
Throws away her stuff to “teach her a lesson”?!?! Darling you need to grab your daughter pack some stuff and run. It’s only going to get worse and heaven forbid he turns his attention towards the daughter
He's abusive...
He is 100% abusive. That’s why he breaks and throws out her stuff. She should throw the hole man out and devotes that abusive assh*le.
It wouldn’t surprise me if he already has but told the daughter that if she told her mother about it he would something more away
Teach me a lesson wtf .
Throwing your things out is on the same level of abuse as bleaching clothes, burning clothes, cut up clothes. Call domestic abuse services
"why don't you call one of your friends to take care of Cloe? Oh right, you don't have any" he is also emotionaly manipulative on top of all, OP needs to get out with her kid as soon as she can.
If your husband is throwing away your items you should leave him. That's abusive. Manipulative. Evil.
He's doing everything he can to hurt his own wife's feelings. He's a POS.
Start recording all conversations with him. Save all texts. All emails. He's going to manipulate your kids as best he can.
I would be throwing his stuff away or selling it.
Sounds like she needs to throw the whole man away.
@@brat46 That was my thought too. Take some stuff he doesn't regularly use and sell it on Craigslist or something less traceable to get her money back for all the shit he threw away. And if he does realize it's missing, just say "I threw it away to tech you a lesson for XYZ!" just as he does.
I'm even willing to bet he's not actually throwing her stuff away, but giving it away. Assholes like him, who throw temper tantrums when they are forced to "babysit" their own children, even in the face of emergency, because their date night with "the boys" is more important than his kids, is also the same type of asshole to have a side piece as well. He also sounds controlling as hell, and some controlling assholes like reminders. Trophies to reminisce on and revel in that control, because they are sick mother fuckers. I don't know why, but I feel a jackass like that would likely get more pleasure seeing his wife's necklace on his side piece, knowing he's deprived and hurt his wife, "taught her a lesson", and at the same time rewarded his side piece for tickling his toothpick, than he would get from just throwing it out - never to be seen again.
Start throwing his stuff away. His reaction will tell her everything she needs to know.
Hell, just refusing to take care of your own child while your spouse is with a hospitalized parent is a huge red flag that you’ve married a selfish POS.
Story 1, I definitely need some kind of update to know what came of it, did he get a lawyer? Did his parent/step parent have to give him his money back? Sell the house or sign it over to him? UPDATES!!! STORIES WITH UPDATES!!!!!
Yeah, that's kind of the problem with these Reddit channels. There used to be a wealth of stories with updates. Now, all the channels have caught up and they only have the most recent stories to choose from, most of which have not been around long enough to gather updates.
This TH-camr uses the most recent at the time stories.
I would think if he is still 17, he has to bide his time to get legal action, if needed.
@@MrBeevee5 depends on the area
and some lawyers would at least be able to advise them
Infuriating when they give you the business and there’s no update! Bollocks!
First OP: I'd sue them. Sue them back to the stone age.
Agreed sue them both for the money they spend and the step dad for being petty
MSNBC is/was actually covering the first story. Apparently a Law Office reached out because of this and OP was deemed NTA on Reddit. There are no updates so far outside of OP clarifying his Mother's child support and how OP is going to reach out to the Estate Lawyer. I genuinely hope this goes well for him.
Do you have a link to any of it hun? I would love to bookmark it and follow up. Thanks!
Agreed
@@Original_Tenshi_Chan Okay, first I’m going to do a cut and paste from one of the commenters, then I’ll put the link in a SEPARATE POST after. The reason is sometimes TH-cam gets funky w/posts w/links, so I don’t want this entire c/p to disappear. Here goes:
Clearly *not* your area of law. 30+ yrs as a trial attorney, 20+ in probate/estate planning field. The advice about the statute of limitations starting at age 18 is the only solid piece of advice in the above post.
Mom should have received SS funds for both OP and herself in equal amounts up until he turned 16. She is then expected to get a full time job. She was and remains legally liable to support him, not visa-versa. After age 16, she receives the funds on behalf of the OP. She can use the entirety if needed for *his* support, not hers, certainly not hubby’s. My youngest was 13 when her father (63) died (we were married and together). After age 16, I banked 25% for her personal allowance use, used the balance for her separate expenses such as music lessons, uncovered personal therapy (I paid half as parent), special travel, music subscriptions etc. I paid all the ordinary expenses. SS funds are not meant for step-anythings. Unless OP graduates high school at 18, funds continue to 19, graduation, whichever comes later. However, at 18, the funds legally belong to the OP. I brought my youngest to the bank shortly after her bd, helped her open a checking and savings account. I charged no rent or other basics bc she didn’t graduate until age 19, in June 2020. I worked with her on setting up her own appointments, getting own insurance, not even taking her as a dependent on my taxes. Adulting 101. I also handed over copies of all trust, life insurance, and SS information for her own file cabinet when she turned 18 and had her both open a personal bank box as well as speak with an experienced estate attorney without my being there.
Parent owes a fiduciary duty to minor OP, irrespective of state.
As a probate/estate planning/conservatorship/guardianship attorney, I was court appointed for a teen whose father and stepmother ripped him off. It involved a wrongful death payment for the mother he watched die in front of him at age nine. I seized their huge double cab 4WD truck, their beachfront home, their tax returns, the car they bought the stepdaughter, and the business assets he obtained through the use of his son’s funds. Not exactly the work of a “bank teller.”
The OP should try to find out if the funds were his through a probate or by way of life insurance proceeds. He needs an advocate in his corner. If there is a trustworthy family member or friend of Dad’s, they may be able to help find an experienced litigator within the overall probate field. Also, there are probably records relating to his inheritance at home. Morally, thieves have no right to privacy from their victim but OP DO NOT risk your safety to get them. If they are readily available, take private photos or make copies and send to someone outside of home keep them safe, keep no copies at home or on your phone.
To the OP: no, you are NTA. Both your mother and step are TAs.
FINALLY: Don’t confront them on this anymore for your own personal safety. Do *not* threaten prosecution. See also if there is an adult who could take you immediately in an emergency. A CPS/criminal complaint is not the starting place. And no, I’m not hustling for a job here. I’m retired, no longer a licensed attorney and am *not* looking for work. I simply spent decades actively protecting vulnerable elders, minors and individuals with disabilities from greedy people, most of whom were family members.
Best of luck, OP.
@@GrumpyOldFart2 I wish I could hire you to protect my daughter & her future.
@@amandakay789 Hire me? I just cut and pasted from another commenter. I am not a lawyer and never was.
In my country, when a parent dies and until the child (or children) are legal adults, the remaining parent has a family court looking over their shoulder to make sure everything is above board with the kid’s inheritance. I guess to avoid situations like this one where remaining parent steals from their own child.
This is America
@@danihomes7697 land of the freee (to screw over others)
I wish it were that way here. My best friend's Mom stole a house he inherited from his grandmother. She illegally had his name and his late father's names taken off the deed & now he has no claim to it even though he repaired it and pays the taxes on it.
Weren't the guests HIS guests?
GET A LAWYER PRONTO! Hopefully your dad had one to write his will to protect you. Your mother and stepfather are disgusting.
'Pronto' is going to have to be whenever they turn 18. Sucks, but minors can't hire lawyers without parent/guardian cooperation or a LONG process that involves law enforcement.
Story 1: I'd sue those @$$holes for stealing from my inheritance.
I hope OP rips them a new asshole lol.
"My husband and I have normal disagreements"
*proceeds to outline abusive husband's behavior
You told your husband to stop using your kids. He said ok, and then he did it again.
He recognized that you didn't like it, SAID HE WOULDN'T DO IT, did it the next morning, and then he wants to get pissy after getting called out for doing something HE ALREADY SAID HE WOULD STOP DOING.
I can't imagine sending my husband kisses through children. What's so wrong with OP that he doesn't want to kiss her personally?
Arguing through the little ones - wth that's beyond toxic.
I got a creepy grooming vibe from this too. Like getting them to accept unwanted touch. I’d kick that guy to the curb.
And he is the step-dad, is he kissing the children to pass the kiss on to his wife? That is creepy in so many ways, he is touching those kids on pretense to pass on kisses to their mum. Who does that.
@@julianne089 Yeah, I kinda got that groomer vibe too, or a "normalization" vibe. (Basically, to normalize using the children as pawns, shields, and bludgeons he can use against OP. After all, she can't get mad at the kids, he can hand wave away her reservations as "uptight and heartless" for "not wanting kisses from the kids" while ignoring the other parts, normalize their unhealthy interaction in the kids' minds, and also to diminish or stop her reactions to him. What I mean by that last part is, if OP KNOWS without a doubt, that he will use the kids as a go between for their next fight, she may be less likely to stand up for herself and fight back. She may be more likely to accept his bullshit, in effort to spare the kids being used and manipulated.)
One way or the other, there are TOO many red flags, this feels creepy, and she needs to take her kids and leave.
@@Original_Tenshi_Chan I agree! Her gut reaction is absolutely right on this.
@@julianne089 I agree about kicking him to the curb, a curb at least a few miles away with a sewer drain big enough for him to fall into.
I would literally throw away everything he owns, including his car, if he tossed out my stuff.
Waited for this one. HE WOULD NOT HAVE SO MUCH AS DEODORANT
In abusive relationships like this (OP goes into more detail in the comments about what he's done to her), you can't fight fire with fire. Even though a relationship isn't physically abusive, it could go that way if the victim fights back. This is the wrong advice to give somebody in any type of abusive relationship because there will always be an escalation. My mum jumped from an abusive relationship straight into another one with my stepdad who did throw away our belongings whenever he got angry. He eventually stopped when he got called out on it, but the other forms of abuse were very much present and since I was a child, I thought it was normal. However, fighting fire with fire will cause an escalation. Trust me. I speak on experience from this... And it is absolutely dangerous, especially when you are a child having to fight off an attack by somebody who is supposed to be your father and is ten times your size.
@@TiffWaffles Do you have a link to the post hun, so I can read her comments too? Thanks!
@@Read1love don't do that you're no better than the bf if you do and he can press charges so
Throwing a car away would be considered theft
Fourth story: I'll confess that the idea of sending kisses through children is _kinda_ cute. But everything in moderation. And if the kids don't like it, it stops being cute and starts being creepy. Add on that the kids continue to play messenger even through a fight is troubling. You don't get kids involved in a fight between you and your partner.
i feel the same way! i thought the kisses were cute, but only in moderation and when everyone wants to do it
Children being forced to show affection when they don't want to is disgusting. It removes their bodily autonomy and ignores their feelings entirely. Forced hugs, kisses, pinched cheeks, none of it is appropriate.
Yeah, it really only works for kids
I would get the deceased father's family in on this nonsense. Get them to help OP consult a lawyer regarding the stolen inheritance/trust.
When I refused to get a job my dad said job or volunteer but you will leave the house during the day I started volunteering it changed my entire outlook on life I got my crap together and now have a good life
These “parents” made me feel so gross that I think I should have a shower lol. So disgusting and gross.
People dont understand or appreciatte how horrific it is to be depressed and felling guilty over not being able to do stuff.
So when a idea like "i wont do anything because it's pointless" comes out, people get annoyed, think is lazyness.
They dont understand how it feels to be so hopeless and how this crushes you inside. To feel like nothing has meaning, or a point and be ashamed to think it is very dehumanizing.
while I don't think mental illness should be wiped off the table don't forget there are also a lot of these kinds of stories of kids who are just lazy mooches who see no reason to work because mom and dad will take care of them and we don't call those people depressed.
@@velvety2006 Yeah, but this kid has ADHD and has been also diagnosed with anxiety. It’s not unreasonable to assume that this is him spiraling rather than being a lazy mooch. A lot of neurodivergents have trouble with the transition to adulthood due to the sudden loss of structure and difficulty learning social norms for the workplace. On top of that, this young man is reaching adulthood during an economically difficult situation (and he’s right about the student loans). And people forget how debilitating anxiety can be.
@@velvety2006 I agree, there are people who lie and use mental issues as crutches.
The point i'm trying to make is, dont brush it off as lazyness so quickly.
Specially someone with a complex diagnosis like OP's kid.
There is no time table to 'get well' and if someone is not improving, maybe search for different options, a different therapist, maybe change the medice or calibrate doses.
People sometimes think a shrink or some pills will "fix" their kid, that is not realistic.
The road to recovery in a case o mental illness is endless. You can control your problem, you cant cure it.
So i think it's a matter of investigating why.
Not pointing blame first, looking for answers later.
@@pinkdoobieYeah, the kid is probably going through something really tough.
No one goes to Nihilism and proclaiming that everything is pointless because they are ok and just dont want to do something.
That's a very radical response.
Op needs to look into why they are not seeing results on his kid, he needs help.
Last story: Well clearly the crazy ex ISN'T "all bark and no bite" considering he HAS shown up at work TWICE. A friend had a similar situation. And despite never actually seeing her Ex, they found out her Ex had been parking close by, but not actually in the parking lot so then if she saw her leave alone, she could rush over there.
Exactly. The ex probably IS lurking somewhere out of sight and is waiting for Matt to walk to his car in a dark parkinglot (which probably has no/crappy cameras) alone.
I agree. I’d like to know if OP would be such a dismissive jerk if the co-worker were female. A scared teenager is being stalked and harassed and has asked for the same courtesy that women are routinely trained to request (an escort to his car after work at night), and OP mocks him for it? Come on.
Probably not. And since I posted that. I have been thinking. OP was most likely the only one asked because he probably was the most intimidating looking one there that the poor kid knew and most likely, until OP shot his mouth off like that, trusted.
@@Zanzetihunter it sounds like the entire store is behind Matt in this situation, why aren’t a few of his coworkers or hell even the management being the untrained bodyguards? OP isn’t that much older, there’s only 6 years between them! And maybe, just maybe, he doesn’t think it’s that serious because *no one* has filed a police report (either Matt himself or the management) so maybe he thinks “no police report = not that bad”?
But more importantly it doesn’t matter if OP is the burliest guy in the place, cos unlike Superman I doubt he could stop a bullet or a blade if the guy turned out to be serious and OP did it out of peer pressure! The hypocrites can bugger right off with that thinking cos judging OP for something they themselves refuse to do (IDGAF what their reasons are) makes them assholes!
@@Mscrimsondragon Or he's pulling a "boy who cried wolf" gambit. It's common with starkers they make empty threats for a while so that people (especially the authorities) stop taking the victim fear seriously and then strike.
(Friend of mien had a messy divorce and her lawyer warned her about this tacit, It might make you feel better to call the cops every time they make a threat but don't. Call the first time and if they don't follow threw take safety measures and document. If you call repeatedly about false threats it can actually come against you if/when you go for an restraining order)
1. Get an estate lawyer.
Last story: YTA 100% look dude, i can undestand not wanting to walk him to his car but you really had to tell him he was "being a girl" about being paranoid about a psycho showing up at his work? Reject doing it if you want or ask someone else to do it for you, don't act like you wouldn't be scared of there was a weirdo ex threatening to show up at your work, he has all the right to feel unsafe about this.
Why the hell have there been no reports to the police? Threats, stalking? This needs to be made official.
@@lamwen03 i agree, Matt needs a restraining order and block the ex.
Sad thing is, as a man no one usually takes it seriously. They are just expected to "Man Up" and "Deal With It".
@@lamwen03 sad truth most police won't do anything when woman stalking because they have same mentality as op
Okay the comment was uncalled for, BUT why should the burden be on OP alone? Why aren’t any of his other coworkers who are clearly sooo concerned for Matt or even the management walking him out? Why OP _every day day Matt works? I agree with Iamwen03, reports should be made and the law made aware because, assuming Matt is telling the truth about it all, why should OP take on the role of his bodyguard?
Last story:
If it was a young girl being harassed by her ex would he be so reluctant to walk her to her car? Yes he's male but that doesn't make the fear he feels any less valid.
THANK YOU for saying this! I said almost the exact same thing when I heard this story! Bet op would be happy to play "white night" if it was a woman. Jeez walking somebody to their car is not that big of a deal. Of course, op does have the right to say no.... but did he have to be a misogynist about it?
I think why does it have to be him all the time? It has been months and nothing has happened. Why only OP? What about any other coworker. I will say the “stop acting like a girl” was uncalled for but he shouldn’t be expected to be 24/7 protection
@@nyxspiritsong5557 yeah, i doesn't have to do it if he doesn't want to, but he is an idiot for being such an asshole about it. Any person of any age or gender would be scared in Matt's situation.
@@blaiktrout376 you're right of course but Op dismissing the young boys fear in that manner was uncalled for.
Agreed but the company should have security. I'm a nurse and we've had nurses threatened because some people have this weird sex thing with some nurses so they have hired security to walk you to your car at night. This company should have that for their employees. It shouldn't be a co-worker's responsibility to put themselves at risk because another coworker has a crazy ex. Mind you Op's attitude pretty toxic.
being forced to give hugs and kisses as a kid made me hate physical affection so, so much. I've only warmed up to it with a partner that is both very affectionate and (most importantly) completely respects my boundaries and doesn't take it personally when I don't wanna be touched.
Story 4: NTA. First off, what he is teaching your kids is that affection is mandatory and not something they have the right to deny. Secondly by doing this he’s creating a barrier between the two of you. Affection should be enthusiastic and consented to and your Husband is denying both of those requirements.
Gotta wonder if he’s grooming her kids.
@Tasia Cooper I apologize but i think you meant to say consented to, not conceited to.
So in the last story if one was to replace Matt with a 17-year'old girl, would op be saying that her coworker is overreacting?
Also that stop acting like a girl comment is very offensive to both genders: so girls are weak and need protection but a guy is supposed to be tough?
Not saying that op should become Matt's shift buddy everyday but op should not be dismissing his fear of his ex. Again if Matt was Matty with the crazy ex op would probably not have the same attitude
Eye. Sexism is what it is. Even with all that is said. There is ALWAYS A chance his ex can come after and do far worse. To physically cut up. T death to him and OP and more people related.
Why has Matt not reported this to the police? There is obvious proof of stalking and threatening behavior. Make it official. It's what the police are for. If Matt was female you can be certain that would have already been done.
Two things: one I’m a woman and even I sometimes say to my male relatives “don’t be a girl”, because back then it was a joke and no one started marches over it. But more importantly and secondly: why should it be OP *alone?* Why is he the only one capable of walking the lad to his car? What about these other workers/management who were so mad at OP? Unless they’re willing to do the same then they can STFU because why should OP risk his own safety/job?
yeah it was ah comment.
also Matt need to contact police.
Exactly. People are saying that Matt should call the police, but I don't know why he isn't calling the police. There are reasons why there might not be a police report.
1) The entire bias when it comes to male victims of DV. He might also feel shame as a male victim.
2) The entire situation of not wanting to condemn a gay man, for PC/Diversity reasons. (Yes, it is a thing. Not wanting to rock the boat with activist groups is something some cops fear, because of overreaction of the public. Sad that the few crazy cops can ruin the rest from protecting law abiding citizens from genuine criminals of minority groups.)
3) The Ex is connected. He knows someone in the force, or in the city hall, etc. He might not be able to.
4) Emotional coercion. The ex might have threatened him that if he were to call the police, the ex will do something. There are a lot of female victims of DV that find it hard to involve authorities because their exbf is crazy enough to threaten them.
5) Stuck in emotional limbo. In a way, he might not know how to emotionally leave the situation of fear. He might need an advocate to bring him to the police to properly talk to them.
6) Brutal local police force. If the police force is known to be extremely easy to get brutal on citizens, he might not be willing to go ask the police for help, as they might be willing to beat him up as well.
7) Is on the bad side of a cop. It could be that one of the cops never warmed up to him, or a former bully could be one of the primary cops around. (Or even a relative of a school bully) Hell, he could have been tossed out by his family, and a direct family member is a cop.
8) Lack of knowledge on resources he could tap. Some think that they would be wasting police time.
One or some of these could be good reasons why a police record might not be filed.
Plus, if they are the only ones who share shifts together, why should another employee wake up, go out of their way, escort him, then go home?
The buddy system is important. We don't know what the ex will do, or is capable of doing. It isn't something that really goes out of the OP's way.
Some people think that men=buff gym guy that can fight off King Kong by himself.
And it's like you said, genderswap it, and a lot of the people here would sing a different tune. Especially if the ladies here that are commenting would be said woman in the scenario, if their ex bf were stalking them. He's a kid, so he doesn't know what he can do.
17:00. Decades ago my buddy and I were early 20’s. Two young girls screamed at us. Brother. What are you doing here they were surrounded by older guys We knew what was up. Played it of. Bought them lunch and waited till parents came. Do the right thing
There’s an entire store of other employees, including management (but oddly no security), why is OP the only one capable of fulfilling the role of bodyguard? He’s hardly an adult himself at 23, between that and the lack of a police report (which to me means “not that serious”) I won’t shame him for not wanting the job everyone else decided he should do!
I feel for everyone in story 3 (the newly minted adult with ADHD and anxiety). There isn’t adequate support for neurodivergents during the transition to adulthood and employment, and a lot of us fall flat on our faces. Add to that an anxiety order and probably depression, plus the current economic situation, and it’s no wonder he feels hopeless. But I also have compassion for the father who is also lacking the tools to help his son and is now frantically trying everything, including punishment.
Agreed entirely
Needless to mention the adhd kid is 100% right about western nations and the utter failure the boomers have left for their children; millenials and zoomers alike.
The boomer father still operates under the delusion that it's easy to buy a house and everything else. What was 8,000 in his day is 800,000 today.
@@michaelplunkett8059 Tell us you don’t believe mental illnesses are real without telling us you don’t believe mental illnesses are real.
@@michaelplunkett8059 people aren't desperate to immigrate here lmao. Most immigrants continue straight on to Canada actually. Those are those on the western hemisphere btw. America is ass. The western imperial core has destroyed the world as a whole. You're not ready for that conversation yet though.
@@michaelplunkett8059 which is a 0.07% of the total population of Canada yearly and 0.03% of America's per capita. Checkmate.
Story 2 - NTA. Get into counseling or get a divorce, throwing out your items during or after disagreements or arguments is absolutely unreasonable. He’s a loser man child.
Counseling does not work with abusers, especially this kind of abuse. He even used counselling against OP and said that she was the one crazy enough to need that service. I speak from experience when I say that OP needs to pack the hell up and get out of that relationship. Her thirteen year old daughter is old enough in many jurisdictions to choose who she wants to live with full time.
It’s literally a sign of abuse turning physical later, he’s harming inanimate objects to emotionally hurt her. It’s a step away of hurting her physically to hurt her emotionally.
@@drewthistlethwaite8909 not to mention hurting his daughter who made her the jewelry in the first place. My stepdad would throw out my belongings every time he started a fight until I put a lock on my door and told him never to enter my bedroom. He stopped throwing out our belongings when his best friend called him out for it and had a go at him. He refused to go to counselling and he resumed being verbally, emotionally and psychologically abusive. Even crossing the line into physical abuse until I punched him in the face when he had me cornered against the sink screaming at me when I was a fourteen year old schoolgirl. He didn't put his hands on me after that until the day he dragged me out of the house when I was fifteen and told me to go find my bio dad because he was no longer my father.
ETA: stepdad often used my absent father and my trauma against me, too.
Get a lawyer. Your mom and stepdad committed fraud. Press charges.
Step-dad pulled his true colors telling you not to talk to him in such way in his house on your dime, lawyer up asap.
Second story: Throw all his shit in the trash, and tell him that if he goes to be with his buddies, he'll be coming back to changed locks and divorce papers.
For that matter, OP should divorce him anyway. He *destroys her property* to 'teach her a lesson'. That's literal, textbook abuse.
Um, why does he need the kids to "pass along" his affection for her? Does he ever actually show physical affection toward his wife or does he have to ALWAYS have the kids do it for him? Setting aside the mental and emotional strain all this is putting on OP's kids for a moment, I'm also worried on OP's behalf.
If this was your wife, daughter or mother & a security guard refused to walk them to their car if they were being stalked & threatened how would you feel? Would you tell them to grow up & handle it?
My dad was a state trooper & he would have had a patrol officer at least drive through the parking lot if there were no emergencies going on.
I wish these stories would have updates.
Me too, There are a lot of stories on here that need updates or at the very least I want updates
@@Symphonia30 yeah, I don't like being left hanging....they desperately need updates for sure.
"he may be depressed"
So what? Depression isn't going to pay his bills, and it's a pain in the butt for the people you live with
I’m wondering because of these stories (#1) with inheritance intended for the kid is abused by the surviving parent, can the Will be written where the surviving parent/guardian cannot have access or lay claim to the money until said child(ren) are of age?
I think that can be done if the money is put in a trust, those can have rules for when or who can use them, but I don't know much more than that😅
yeah it can.
here courts appoint .. trustee? that supervises the money. money can be used by remaining partner but they have to request it and give explanation where money is going.
This is why you need to have an attorney write up a will. In general (in the US), any money or assets that are intended for the child when they grow up should be put in trust. It’s also possible to put aside money for use in raising the child, though that is more commonly done through life insurance and survivor’s benefits. I am guessing in this story that either the father didn’t put the money in trust or he made the mistake of appointing the mother as the trustee.
Knowing my mom she would never take my money. But I'd do what ever I could to treat her for taking great care of 5 boys. Not that she would accept anything. She would rather I use it on myself.
Last story -NTA. So why should you put your life in danger for someone else? I've seen enough 20/20's where someone snaps and kills the ex. So whoever called you the AH is an AH. What if the ex comes after you?
Is your job description "bodygard "
You should.not risk your life for anything.
If your co worker has a problem,he should call the cops
Story 1 after you turn 18 get a lawyer and get your money back.
OP should start throwing out Husbands crap. Maybe he should fear sleeping.
1st story: you can guarantee the stepfather felt entitled to do it since his wife had to pay child support for her own kid! He absolutely needs to get a lawyer and they either put the house in his name and move or pay him back. He surely has a case against them.
It's illegal to misuse a minor's inheritance..stand up for the rights to your money
Find the lawyer that wrote up the will and go over it with him.
2nd story: As someone with severe ADHD (42m, diagnosed only at 32) ... OP is kind of the AH, but not for what he is trying right now. He is bc he failed to address his sons ADHD properly. Its likely the diagnosis was not too long ago (anxiety and depression follow closely if ADHD is not treated properly). The brute force method will not work at this point (anymore). Try to understand how his brain works first - work with him to figure out what motivates him (even if that is "professional gamer" ^^)
3 tips:
- check out the TH-cam-channel "how to adhd" - I found it very helpful and some clips are especially for family
- lack of sports worsens my ADHD (even with medication it makes a huge difference - covid really did screw me over) - maybe look into that
- for me vitamin D plays a huge part. if I don't go outside (and in general during the winter) the medication works way less efficient. --> try to remember if his mood is worse during winter and if so ... make sure he gets enough light (go outside, lots of windows, daylight lamps), consider even to try 1-2 weeks on holiday in the south (worked wonders for me - that's how I actually recognised the difference. every 2nd year we would spend some time at the beach in Dec and those very years were the only ones when I wasn't feeling low in Jan/Feb)
Story 2: NTA Has OP considered "what's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander" and thrown out something of his "to teach him a lesson"?
She should save herself the headache, and throw him out.
The last story makes me sick. Somehow men who get harassed is told to "handle it by yourself"? That "be a man" stigma is poison and it forces men to use violent measures to stop things like harassment when they didn't have to resort to that.
The comment was uncalled for ... but assuming there is a real threat a) why should OP be the only one risking his own safety and b) why has no police report been made? Hell where are Matt’s family and friends in all this?! I’d say the same thing if it were a woman which is “sorry but I’m not a trained bodyguard!”
@@LadyLeomon The kid is 17 and probably has no clue how to go about doing those things. Someone needs to step up and tell him what he needs to do. As for his parents and family, maybe they disapprove of same sex relationships and refuse to help him out. I've seen that attitude in the parents and families of gay people. Their attitude is, "Well, it's your fault because you're gay and dated a gay guy. Deal with it yourself!" Some families would consider Matt getting the crap beaten out of him by an ex lover as just punishment for being gay. We don't know. Maybe Matt sees OP as his closest coworker and is convinced no one else will help him because he's afraid at least some of his co workers have that attitude towards LGPTQ people.
@@bunnyslippers191 even if he does not know, management is aware of the situation what's stopping them from helping him make a report to the police, even if they don't do anything at least there will be a paper trail
1st story, check the estate lawyer for the will, sue your parents for the total amount owed once you turn 18.
Good afternoon. Thanks for the stories. Have a great day
First story-You got ripped off by your mom and stepdad. Get a lawyer. Now.
Well, she just thinks about how important it is to moisturize her drying up hole down there.
Her son wouldnt do that for her...
tell the young man to get a restraining order against the ex
Agreed
Exactly, the lack of a police report either from Matt himself or the management is honestly vexing. To me “no police report = not that serious”, and I don’t blame OP for thinking that.
Story 2: NTA. OP hun, you know this isn’t a healthy relationship right? Like it’s not at all normal or healthy for a grown man to throw away thing whenever you have an argument.
Story 1. The mother values intimacy over her child.
Story 2. KIck your husband out. Get divorce. YOUR DAUGHTER DESERVES BETTER.
Call the lawyer that made the will for your dad to sue your mother and step dad
Badly need an update on story one!!!
I really want to hear the update on OP's stolen inheritance
Although it has been posted about hubby throwing away your things, I had to toss in my 2 cents.
OP, I honestly know exactly how you are feeling. Although mine was while growing up the feeling is the same. It is a difficult feeling to express just how much it hurts and how you feel betrayed. This man child that you are married to has "zero" respect for you. Think about what he did to you. He threw out something that cannot be replaced. I get that she can remake it but it will never hold that exact special feeling when she first gave it to you. I cannot stress enough that you need to leave him. What he did and the fact that it was a punishment ls beyond a "teach you a lesson" it is a form of extreme abuse.
Please remove this behavior from you and your daughters life.
The fact he threw away something his daughter put time and effort into shows he’s willing to hurt her too.
Sounds like step-dad family gave him a load of shyte, good on them:)
Story 1: OP get a lawyer ASAP and sue them asap.
I can't think his video games and seclusion are helping his issues.
Get something of your husband's of value and sell it for the tools AND tell him you threw it away and will continue to throw away items until he buys the tools.
“You’re being a girl about it”
This is why toxic masculinity is bad for us all. The kid deserves to feel safe regardless of gender.
I bet if Mat was a young woman he wouldn't have 1 problem bout walking her 2 her car cause of a crazy ex🤨🤨🤨
@@mekaplush2148 I was actually in this position (found out my abusive ex worked at my new job, and began stalking me) and had 0 issues getting my TL who was a large man to walk me to my car at night. Everyone deserves safety and to feel safe.
@@SheenaReine yes everyone does deserve to feel safe, including OP. At no point in the story does he mention that he is a paid security guard trained to mess up troublemakers likes the ex. Why has it been decided that he *alone* should take the risk while everyone else is calling him TA for wanting none of this mess that he had no part in making? Plus given that Matt has thus far not made a statement maybe OP took that fact as “it’s not that serious if he didn’t tell the law” and thus thinks accordingly? Or why hasn’t the store filed a complaint (disturbing the peace or whatever)? Why should it be OP’s burden *alone?*
...I don't get the YTA from the lazy kid story - I mean, I didn't get myself a degree when I was a kid, but do you know what I got myself? A MOTHER EFFIN' JOB. I was delivering parcels all over Rome, sun or rain, on a freakin' motorscooter. And, trust me on this, delivering seven boxes of printer paper on a motorscooter is NOT FUN. That crap is as heavy as me! Afterwards I got a programming degree, worked as a programmer, then as a secretary assistant, then I lost my job. But I effin' tried. And I keep effin' trying.
It's SO easy to whine about society ending and no purpose existing when your pops and mom fork payola for everything and then some... Try having to live on stale chicken and flatbread for ONE MONTH, see how fun that is!
OP needs to go to the hardware store and buy new locks. Wait till his mom and step dad leaves and then change the locks
Story 1. Enjoy YOUR new house!
With the last story you're in the wrong big time the fact that you said stop acting like a girl is enough for you to be the a-hole but the whole fact that you're dismissing a dude who's clearly going through signs of domestic violence from a psychological standpoint tells me that you're not used to seeing men go through this as victims of domestic violence. There's definitely anti mayo and and Thai female rhetoric remarks in this that rain supreme. You're in the wrong big time and I suggest you look at issues of domestic violence from both ends of the stick.
Oh good God this is getting tiring! Why is everyone focusing on the comment alone and not the reason for it? The reason being that OP is *not* Matt’s personal bodyguard! It’s a scary thing Matt is going through BUT why is OP alone the only one he thinks can deter this “crazy ex”? If Matt is serious about this then he better tell the law so they can be aware, but also people need to lay off OP because I don’t see any of the coworkers *or management* are volunteering for the job!
@@LadyLeomon yes we are stuck on what Op said cause that was not the way to deal with it. And come on tell the law? The law will do fuck all until its too late, especially when its a man that gets threats.
@@couchpotato631 so f*ck using common-sense and telling the people who are actually paid to protect us? Nah fam, best guilt a total stranger into it and shame him mercilessly when he wants none of that?
Free advice: pack pepper spray wherever you go because if this happens to you you’ll just accept it despite the very real possibility of you getting hurt? Nope, you’ll risk your safety without a second thought ... alas poor CouchPotato I knew him not but he died kowtowing to peer pressure by weaker hypocrites 😏😏😏
@@LadyLeomon common sense? The guy seems to think he is friends with Op and is asking... notice ASKING for help. Not demanding but asking. And Op was an ah about it, instead of just saying no I'm not comfortable doing that.
At least to me common sense would be to just deny the request and not be a total ah about it, calling the victim a girl?
@@LadyLeomon And just to clarify what I mean. Op was in their right to refuse to walk Matt to the car. That's fine. In my books he is clear on that part. But how Op went about it makes him the ah. And how he obviously thinks men cant be the victims of abuse.
Story 3: NTA. I’ve experienced a lot of what your Son is going through but the big difference is I kept moving forward. You Son can be as doom and gloom as he wants but eventually he’s got to get up off is butt. Kick him out of the nest.
Management should be the one to escort Matt to his car. THEY get PAID to ensure employee safety, you do not. If Matt’s stalker did show up & harmed you, management, owner, company would be in the hook for a huge lawsuit.
Matt needs to contact the police & start a file. They may not be able to do anything since it’s “only threats” right now but there would be a record.
Maybe the police could sit in the parking lot for 5-10 minutes while Matt exits the building & is safely in his car.
Why is Matt asking you only & not management or other employee?
This.
Whilst I guess it toxic to say stop being a girl about it.
Maybe OP doesn’t like Matt. Maybe he doesn’t like walking back on his own. Maybe it cold outside or he doesn’t want to walk? Maybe op had a really good leg day, the day before.
At the end of the day it isn’t OP responsibility or problem. Management should be doing it. And everyone going he a kid dude. Op isn’t that much older than him. Who to say he that much wiser, or could responsibly managed and keep safe in that situation if it did happen or escalate.
Eight months of threats and he hasn't bothered to do anything about the threats? Where are the kids parents? Where are the ex's parents? Almost nine months of threats aren't just threats they're harassment, where are the cops?
It because people don’t believe when men are the victim case in point all the commenters
@@joimumu there are multiple witnesses and no point for excuses.
Thank you so much! I’ve been going batty with all these comments saying OP is TA for not wanting to risk his own safety when Matt himself, or the store, isn’t concerned enough to tell the law!
They did it because this son isn't smart! Notice he isn't saying he wants to sue
first story: dude it's sad to say but you need to sue them. they stole thousands.
Story 2: Wow, if there's a definition of an abuser, this is it. OP should leave him or her daughter will marry someone like this thinking it is alright. *Divorce*
You need to sue them to got your money back . They will have to sell the house . Get a lawyer right away
First story OP has to contact the lawyer as soon as he is 18 and sue them out of the house.
If hubby has a gaming system , golf clubs , sports memorabilia, whatever ... sell them and tell him 2 can play that game if he throws your stuff away after an argument you’ll sell stuff and your daughter didn’t need any help figuring out her dad is a tool
Story 1. As in all inheritance cases insult with a lawyer. From the info provided the mother must have been the trustee of the money left by the Father so she has broken her duty under the law and will be liable for it. If this property has been bought solely with the money from the inheritance then OP should have it transferred into his name and then kick out both his mother and the step-father, he can then do what he wants with the house most probably sell it and go to college debt free and just buy himself an apartment. Whatever once this is settled OP go Hard NC with both of these people you don't need leeches like that in your life. I await an up-date. Good luck OP.
1st story. Get a lawyer OP. If there was any set stipulations set by your BIO Dad, that they went against, you can have them charged and can be forced to pay it back. They have some gal going on about you being selfish when they STOLE from you, Which is exactly what they did. They had no right and were not entitled to your inheritance. At the very least a Lawyer can tell you your options.
Threatening Ex needs to get restraining order. Proof of threats by email should make that easy.
I don't get why they needed a large house when they already had a place to live.. I love when OP asked if they were going to move out when he wa ls 18 or 19. Also OP'S response when stepdad was pestering him, stepdad got what he deserved. OP get a lawyer. And get that money back and for someone to do an audit cuz it looks like your mom and stepdad are using that money from your dad for their own wants and who knows mom might be stealing money. It is sad when one can't trust ones parent's.
Story 1. Nta. I would talk to a lawyer when you're 18, and since that money was for you and they pretty much stole it, see if you can sue for the money or house, cause it was the last screw you to your dad after he passed, sorry for your loss. Then, kick them out.
Second story: everyone say it with me "divorce this piece of crap!" This is abuse!
There ARE good and bad therapists. It is not simply an issue of chemistry.
any time someone says their day, week or any period of time is ruined when not messing up any plans just screams self absorbed to me
OP hasn't considered that the ex has never done anything because Matt has never been alone.
It sounds like there is an entire store full of coworkers who support Matt (them all getting irked at OP is proof), yet I don’t see any of them lining up to be on bodyguard duty! Hell have them all walk Matt out and let the (potential) creeper know he’s got backup! Why is everyone else, including the management, dog-piling on OP like he’s Matt’s boyfriend who doesn’t care?!
@@LadyLeomon I think they are more upset about what OP said. It would be one thing if OP had asked Matt to ask other people but instead they held in resentment until they blew up and we're insulting.
Matt thought he was getting help from a willing friend and got told to stop acting like a little girl among other things.
@@SnowyWolborg Matt is only 17 so probably still lives at home. From what I understand it seems hard to get a stalker reported because the police won't do much until something physical happens.
@@ian0143 Not every moment of course but it's easy to build up a support system. Plus at 17 it's unlikely that he is living alone.
@@amilikestea433 OP himself says he thinks Matt is cool *but they are not friends.*
Last story: NTA NO ONE SHOULD BE WALKING ANYONE TO THEIR CAR. If someone is threaten, then they need to call the proper authorities to handle this. I worked with individuals in situations like these. Its all harmless until both end up hurt or worse. Its isn't safe for anyone. If management and coworkers want to put themselves in danger by all means they are welcome to. He needs to call police get a restraining order or tell his parents so that they might move him somewhere safer away. I don't care how you said it. This is a clear no. No means no. Your NTA for saying no.
*THANK YOU!* All these other YTAs are jumping on the girl comment solely as the reason for their judgement, but you get it! Thanks 👍🏻
Take their butts to court for stealing from you!
1. Nothing for you to apologize for. Seek legal optuonas to see if they can be forced to apologize and pay back the money they stole.
Final Story: YTA. This is a serious situation poor Matt is in. Yes maybe his EX is all bark, or he’s just enough bite to handle one teenage boy. These stalking incidents can get very serious so if your so tired of walking him to his car then trade off with another co worker or help him get a safety device like pepper spray or a screamer.
If this was gender reversed, and Matt was an actual girl, then everyone would be on watch out and OP would be just fine walking this female to her car, but since it's a guy, OP doesn't give a darn.
@@rosemarie1817 that’s a lame argument. What if the Ex was a girl? if OP doesn’t feel comfortable to keep being 24/7 security, he doesn’t have to be, but for 8 months?! Nah. Rotate the help at least
There's been a whole lot of stalkers that weren't serious...until the people they stalked wound up dead. Then it's a little too late to say they were right for being scared.
@@lorisewsstuff1607 Too little, too late...
@@blaiktrout376 The kid just wanted to make sure to leave safety not a bodyguard. He probably terrified. We don't know how bad things could have been when they were together. Maybe he has reason to think he could be capable of something.
First story- SUE THEM
Yea. Anyone that throws away my stuff as a "punishment" will be backhanded....INTO LAST WEEK!
RE: House Really embarrass him a lawyer up at 18, sue them and take the house away from them. Let him explain that to his family.
Some of the red flags ppl are willing to put up with...As soon as my partner started throwing out my stuff or doing anything to "punish" me for an argument, I'd have divorce papers on the table or, if not married I'd already be out the door
Get lawyer and sue them for fraud and theft and when you win kick them out
Get a lawyer and tell them you're mom used your inheritance money and sue them.
The OP in the first story needs to get a lawyer and sue his mom and stepdad. It is possible it happened because the mom was left in charge of the OP’s funds until he is old enough. The mom broke her fiduciary responsibility and used the money illegally. The house needs to be sold to get the money back. OP needs to not let this go.