If I was the person who had died in the accident - I would be SO happy that someone chose to marry my other half, and parent my child. I would be so, so, so glad that someone loved them the way I loved them.
Same sentiments. My husband and I have talked about it, but we both insist we'd stay single anyways if anything ever happened. That kind of love is so hard to find, nurture and hold onto in this crazy world.
Same. I wouldn't want my love to suffer over me forever. I'd want them to find love again, and be happy again. And if your spouse would be mad that you tried to do that? Guess what, that's a RED FLAG!
Same. My first born often asks about death, and when she was 3, asked me where she could find a new mummy if I died. She said she could not live whitout a mummy, she needed to know where to find one just in case. 😢
Sounds Like the Story took place in Germany, so it is possible that the daughter stayed in the clinic with her mum. Depends on the clinic though, there are some which also provide childcare during therapy sessions.
It's refreshing to see someone who isn't jealous of a ghost. I've heard way too many stories of new partners whose spouses are widows, and they make it their personal mission to erase any evidence that person existed.
You know how people say they married their best friend. Well I dodged a bullet with mine. He turned into a bitter butthead in his older years. Tried telling me I shouldn't have been sad when my son's dad passed away. While my actual husband was totally understanding and comforted me so that I could grieve someone who deserved to be grieved.
Yeah, I wouldn’t put up with that. I was widowed in my late 20’s, and my new partner goes out of his way to be respectful of my late husband. It can be sort of hard sometimes, because I realized after he died that he didn’t treat me so good. One day my partner said “hm. You know, I really try to be respectful. You loved him, he’s the father of your child, but sometimes you tell me things that make me go ‘BUDDY. What the F^CK.’” That’s the most he’s ever really said.
That’s grounds for divorce for me. I understand if the grieving person makes their new spouse feel like second best, it can hurt them. But disrespecting the fact that person tragically passed away and trying to erase the memory of them? That goes beyond jealousy. That’s demented.
@benjie128 FR. Most of these stories are the living spouse couldn't wait to replace their deceased spouse, have no care for the children who have lost a parent and are now forcing them to love and accept the person replacing their deceased parent. Honestly, those cases have nothing to do with love, but lust - they can't keep it in their pants, refuse to grieve their loss, and are definitely the type of people who can't be single for more than 2 seconds. Story 1 is what people SHOULD be doing - he's the new spouse and knows that someone had to die for him to have this happiness. He's GRATEFUL! Grateful that he has this opportunity for something he didn't think he'd ever have and knows it only came about because the 1st husband had to die. And he repays that gratefulness by telling the husband what's happening in his family's lives. That's a GOOD man and a GOOD spouse!
My dad remarried, but they only had a year together before he lost his six year battle with cancer. A few years later, bonus mom remarried and now I refer to him as Dad #3 (bonus dad is Dad #2). He routinely goes with my bonus mom to visit my dad's grave. When I got engaged, Dad #2 and Dad #3 insisted on taking my now husband out to dinner to get to know him better (we live 7 hours away). Hubby is 6' 3" and had been a firefighter for seven years at that point. He said they intimidated him, not in a "I've got a shotgun" kind of way, but in a "We want to make sure you won't hurt her" kind of way. He said they both acted like I was their daughter.
This is what I believe it means when we say “it takes a village.” It’s not the literal incorporated city where you live. It is the village of interdependent people with whom we build our lives, and this can be blood, married, or friend relatives.❤
I wish yall could’ve seen the goosebumps that I had on my arm from that part 😭 really profound statement, and a layer of grief that most people don’t think about. His passing deeply affected someone he didn’t even know, because the husband can’t be happy without thinking about what it took for him to gain that happiness.
@@DustinPoynterVideos It's incredible how deeply your empathy goes. Take really good care of yourself man. I am HSP, but even I can mostly shield myself from going in that too much..as long as it's something I read. If it happens around me, I am a wreck. I'm just saying...I hope you can leave those stories behind, once your done making the video. Must be exhausting as it is
Just had a conversation with my Mom before watching the video that made me emotional, and the brother thing had me weeping because of the sheer familial love of it all.
I was nearly crying. I caught myself, cos I haven't had the strength left for a cry today. It reminded me a lot of my own childhood home. Triggered some of the worst memories. And all the time I am thinking: Why the heck can't the police and child services do anything? Like... how can this happen over years and years? Yes, victims especially children don't have the guts for it. Even think they would be disrespecting their parents. But I think the brother waited and waited so that the kids wouldn't end up in forster care. Which is even more sad. Those parents in the forster system should be absolutely save and reliable. So that an older sibling can finish school and then afterwards take the siblings to live with them. It's so sad in all points of view. Hope that sister doesn't skip school or learn an unwanted job like her brother, just to make it easier on everyone. One unhappy career is enough. The mental trauma they all have is longing for happy days. So doing what doesn't make you happy, daily, is really bad. I can sing a song about that
@@lisastenzel5713 I helped my best friend fight in court for almost 20 years and they never did anything for some of the most damaging abuse I've ever seen. She tried to unalive herself twice and her sister actually managed it. Horrendous.
In the last story, that is honestly a really important parenting moment, and I really hope OP had a conversation with the daughter about WHY this happened, what poverty can look like, and how (technically unintentionally, but still harmful) cruel she had been to her boyfriend in a moment where OP was trying to do something kind. I totally get not wanting a parent there. But I really think a mistake would be made on OPs part if there isn’t eventually a teaching conversation once the daughter has time to cool down.
The kid is really bad though. She literally dumped her boyfriend off to go hang with her friends because her parent offered to buy them dinner. She needs a firm talking to about this situation because it comes off as she is using the boy. Being a teenager isn't an excuse for treating people badly, we all did dumb stuff but even my friends knew how to spot when something was off.
@@ZombieMinion1992No, she's pretty normal for that age. You're thinking about it from the dad's perspective. For her, as a teenage girl who probably has no clue what her boyfriend is doing to support her, what happened was her dad horning in on a date for no reason, and her boyfriend being OK with that. I literally have never known a girl that age who would be OK with that _and_ was socially adept enough to date and have friends. The version of this I saw first didn't mention that the kid couldn't take money. I told my husband the story as something sweet, but he immediately started shaking his head and said the dad handled it wrong and should have slipped the kid some money. I get now why he didn't, but he still should have come up with a solution that didn't insert himself. It's not that teens have to rebel. It's that they want independence and privacy. That's the age that most, but especially girls, do not want any adults around their socializing, least of all parents.
@@AussieCrimeCasesno. Im 15, this girl is just stupid. Poverty isn’t always easy to see, so I guess maybe some of my sense comes from me being on the poorer side. (I don’t think Im impoverished though, and im definitely not starving. Just can always see a difference between middle class friends and i) but it’s not hard to tell when someone isn’t financially well, especially if they DONT EAT DURING A DATE?! This girl is straight up self absorbed for not realizing.
3rd story: Didn't the girl notice that her bf didn't get stuff for himself on their dates? Also, the accusations? Time for a sit down and talk with her.
I think the girl is abusing her boyfriend, and the mom saved the boyfriend from what could have been so much worse. In hindsight, the mom saved the boyfriend's life.
Okay I know the girl is being shitty rn, but she's also 14. I think it's a bit drastic to say OP saved the boys life. People with eating disorders are well known to be able to fool even those close to them for quite a while, I expect he'd be trying to hide his problems at home as well as he can. Teenagers are not the most observant people and for her, not being able to afford regular meals would be something that doesn't even enter her mind. I'm mostly concerned about that accusation. Where does a barely-teenager even get an idea like that? Am I that out of touch with what the kids are doing on tiktok? OP definitely needs to have a chat with the kid and talk about things. Also about expectations when dating, tho. This whole "the boyfriend pays for everything" is stupid and sexist enough when you're adults, but as kids, your only "income" is whatever your parents decide to give you in pocket money. Dumb all around. Nothing wrong one occasionally treating the other but this imbalance sets up a mountain of bullshit that can lead both of them down a very toxic path
As someone who was once a teenage girl: teenage girls are stupid. Boys do stupid things, girls think stupid things. Especially when it's things that are socially accepted/expected. Status quo has a chokehold on teen girls. For example, if a boy gets her stuff on dates, she's not gonna question it and frankly will be too busy being critical of herself to pay much attention to anything about him outside of what comes with the expectations.
@@BlueGangsta1958 I hope she matures but she didnt even know this guys life or like it has been said cared that he didnt order any food. Then she acts like her dad os going to sleep with a 14 yr old? If she is heavy online it is kind of hard to imagine she will be a better person later. Likely will be a dumpster fire.
Agree. I wish they could know how much genuine respect & appreciation OP has for a man he never knew. He has a sort of 'love' for this person in a way that is a bit hard to explain, & it's possible not everyone would 'get it', might make it sound 'strange' or 'obsessive' (when that absolutely is not what it is here).
It’s really unfair of them to reject him when he’s been such a supportive person. It makes no sense to me. Even if they don’t know, what he’s already shown them is worth respecting him for.
@@lilscenechick1995 I don't think they're rejecting him, I think they're just grieving. Every time he drops off his daughter at their house, it's a reminder that their son isn't around to do that anymore. Like OP himself acknowledged, he's filling shoes that, in a perfect world, he wouldn't have needed to fill. No parent should have to bury their child, they're allowed to struggle with the situation. We also don't know how long it's been (not accusing the wife of "moving on too fast" or anything, but people grieve differently and at different paces)
@@Indigo_Shard the person you're replying to was talking about the in-laws burying their son. Thinking about him when OP drops off their grand-daughter.
I agree, although it depends on the family and what the parents teach their kids. At 14 yo, I didn´t just know the world could be cruel because I got bullied in middle school (high school was instead a blessing to me), I had some school friends who were in VERY critical situations (I mean "had to be taken away from the family" type of situation). I didn´t refuse to see the issues, despite coming from a happy and healthy family, also because my parents always spoke clearly with me on this stuff. The girl of which the reddit post talks about is IMHO definitely refusing to see the issue (I mean, come on! How can you not? Being a teen doesn´t mean being stupid, she must have noticed something at school too if this guy isn´t eating properly) and is probably being influenced by something toxic but "appealing" she read/saw online about "how a date should be" and "how to treat your date".
I wouldn’t exactly call my home completely healthy but growing up with all the things I need and want made me feel guilty for even having those things. Especially since both my parents grew up poor and would tell me stories of their lives back then. Not to mention both my parents experienced abuse, though my dad’s the only one that admits he was.
@teritt As a parent that grew up poor in the same town as my husband, who not only grew up poor but under strict pentecostal guidelines and a cold adoptive mother, we find ourselves shocked sometimes at the inability to find the kind of happiness we did over small and simple things. My single father would come home and say " look in my pocket " and he had stopped for candies. Those memories stuck to my heart. I knew I mattered and it meant everything to me. When we're constantly swiping our cards and being considerate but see them still unable to find joy it breaks our hearts and hurts our feelings. We internalize the behavior because we don't understand. But the truth is neither do they. You have to come to realize that sometimes what we saw as hardship was a blessing and the blessings they have can feel to them like hardship. We attempt to remove the hard things that shape us then expect them to think like us. Parenting teaches us a lot about ourselves and sometimes if we let it we can grow up again with our kids and both of us get a little of what the other didn't have.❤
@@alissahhodges5854 See I get all that Alissa, but I was called spoiled throughout childhood while I still could only comprehend spoiled as the bully in the tv screen.
@teritt I'm sorry about that hunny! They were most likely trying to convince you of something that simply wasn't true. They were in denial about what kind of parents they were. I hope you have good boundaries and learn that you are enough. You aren't spoiled a bit and you can decide what's good for you now! ❤️
The daughter was with the wife's mother during wife's time in the clinic. Also, the comment about the genes is because he considers his wife's daughter as his own, and jokes that the genes she got from him are the gamer genes, even though they aren't biologically related ❤
Yes, I agree. I used to say my middle stepdaughter took after me because we had so many similar interests and parts of our personalities even though she wasn't my birth child.
I love that even with the ability to edit you let us see when you got emotional. What's the opposite of toxic masculinity, because this definitely falls into that category.
@@Nixxks Toxic masculinity is an attitude or set of social guidelines stereotypically associated with manliness that often have a negative impact on men, women, and society in general. The term "toxic masculinity" isn't meant to imply that the idea of masculinity in itself is inherently bad. Toxic masculinity describes men who believe domination, aggression, and homophobia are the standard definition of “manliness.” On the other hand, a more positive and healthy definition of masculinity prioritizes self-growth and high emotional intelligence.
My husband talks to my late husband. Sometimes when I'm out, he'll put on movies that they both like and my husband will invite my late husband (LH) to watch with him. When my husband had to have surgery, as he was waking up, he told me my LH was with him. They talked about me, and LH asked my husband to tell his family he loved them and he was watching over them. LH and I had 4 children together and my husband has loved them and raised them as if they were his own and they all call him Dad. He thanks my LH for us all the time.
@@rowanlavellan9755 we are very happy together, thank you. I always say he was an anniversary gift from my LH because he found me on my LH and my wedding anniversary, 5 years after he passed away.
My mom visited me in my room when she died about 10 minutes before I got the call from my eldest sister that she had passed. I completely believe that your late husband visits your current one to check on you ❤
That older brother was my twin sister. She physically blocked my door and got beat instead of me. There is nobody in this world I am more grateful for.
Not all heroes wear capes. Some wear scars and bruises. She sounds like a wonderful woman, and I sincerely hope she gets the beautiful life she deserves!
@@eldaroses.g.r.7945 thank you so much. Not gonna lie your comment made me tear up a bit. I’m happy to report that she’s doing better nowadays with a wonderful husband and a lucky kid on the way. Selfishly I wish I had had more of a hand in helping her get to that happier place, but she’s always had the strength to pull through on her own, which I’m so proud of her for. Now it’s my turn to build that place for myself 😅
That brother.... I hope he finds all the happiness he deserves and can finally heal And I hope the first man gets over his guilt and can see that the dead husband is watching over them all
If it were possible for me to talk to the step dad, I would like to propose a perspective shift from “a good man had to die for my happiness” to “that good man would probably be very happy to know that *this good man* is giving his family the things he would give them if he could be there”
I was like that brother. I don't really cry (it brings more trouble), but when my younger siblings got together just to say thank you, I lost it. I'm tearing up just remembering. I didn't do it to be a hero, I just knew that it broke my heart when they got beat and the pain of that was worse than the blows. Afterward, I also knew I had to get them out of that house because their shield was gone. I regret nothing and, even if I used to, their gratitude put an end to that.
You deserve all the happiness this world has to offer. I physically placed myself in the middle whenever my dad started to regularly beat my mom. I would put myself in between them to protect my mom. When he finally left I thought it was over.. Then I got a stepdad. My stepdad was my Dad 2.0 and he really started to become violent from drinking. Then he started gambling away all of the rent money, and I did my best to protect my little brothers from the reality of the situation. My mom died when they were teenagers, (and my dad died 27 days before she did.) I guess I overprotected them, because they are so grateful for their dad, and I get blamed for their poor relationships with women. But I don’t regret a single thing, especially when it comes to protecting them. I am so happy your siblings thanked you; and like I said, you deserve everything good this world has to offer. Sorry for the word Vomit. I just think when someone sacrifices their own childhoods in order for your siblings to grow up happy and healthy, someone should point out how awesome YOU are, and I really hope your life is wonderful, because you deserve it--- This internet stranger will shut up now, lol. Take good care of yourself. 😊❤😊❤
@Chrisyt272 Thank you for that, and I noticed 0 word vomit! Just know, even if no one has told you, you're an amazing human being to risk your health and safety in service of others. In a world full of "individuals", we're a rare breed. 😊
@JessicaBiggers Thank you so much, Jessica❤️ I didn't know how much I needed to hear that. Sometimes, the guilt for having to take care of myself after my parents died can eat me alive. I wish I could have been stable enough to be able to take care of them whilst taking care of me with mental health. I live with the guilt that they both developed some form of addiction issues. (One died last year) and I can't help but blame myself even though the rational part of my brain reminds me that I had a nervous breakdown, and I was of no use to anyone in that condition. Again, thank you so much for the kind words; and you are absolutely right. We are a rare breed. Sending you a giant virtual hug!
For the 3rd story i for sure thought there was an update to it where the parent explains more to the daughter cause she was raised so well that her world view didnt even fathom the financial aspects of dating and had no idea of their bfs money issue and starving themselves for their dates.
There has to be. The mom-instincts kicked in& she was going to feed that starving child. It can be delicate tho, because the boy may rather lose his GF to a misunderstanding than the GF know he's too broke to feed himself & home life isn't stable. In his mind it may be too much on his ego, & the GF might think he's been "lying" this whole time. Kids can be awful. Mom's heart is in the right place! Someday she will tell her. Gf probably had no idea this was about compassion bc why else would BF need anything from her mom, ya know?
The second story....its so hard to break the cycle of abuse. And a lot of times it breaks the person who stands up to it, which is especially heart-breaking when theyre a child too. My great-uncle, my grandfather's older brother, did it for my grandfather. Thanks to him my grandfather grew up healthy and happy, and never passed on that cycle. My great uncle was an alcoholic until the day he died and i never met him, but I'm always grateful for what he did.
Third story: I don’t think May really comprehends that her boyfriend is literally food insecure at home, and instead of spending his pennies on buying himself food, he has been going hungry while trying to be a “good boyfriend” rather than being honest. Mom is absolutely not the red flag. May is 14, and just doesn’t get it now. Probably reading/watching a little too much trashy teen dramas if she genuinely thinks her mom was hitting on her boyfriend. I sincerely hope May comes around as she matures, that something clicks to understand her mom was just trying to feed a hungry kid without embarrassing him in front of his girlfriend.
For me mum is a red flag, but for different reasons. In the story I am missing any parenting moment, either explaining her daugher she acts like a gold-digger, or explaining why she took the boy out. This kind of story should not end on the question AITA, but with parenting moment/lesson. Additionally, we are living in period of equality, why the boy should be paying for both of them all the time! This should be another parenting moment.
@Daedalos_MSV could always be that she explained it later and they had a talk about it. But trying to have those convos w an angry teen isn't going to be conducive to learning; they're not going to hear you anyway. I'm also hoping she did in fact have that learning moment later on, but thr green flag is for helping out that boy who was starving.
The boy also probably hasn't told her that he's going hungry to pay for their dates either, which might make her feel a bit different if she knew for sure?
@@zenkozenko4989 that is a speculation. Based on very limited information I could speculate, that she would dump him, because he is unable to provide her a standard she is used to. And both speculations have same validity/probability. Simply we do not know, they are girls in the world who would feel different, and girls who don't.
When he says "I joke that these are my genes" he is saying that the (step) daughter is a gamer and he jokes that she got that from him/his genes. It's a joke because she didn't get any genes from him but they're both gamers
I make similar jokes to my eldest dog that his granddaughter has his plush fur, which is always interesting because she's a cat. (My two eldest dogs adopted a kitten after they had puppies, and that cat had kittens later.)
My girlfriend’s partner before me was my housemate, and they passed away very suddenly due to a seizure-induced heart attack. My now girlfriend and I had already been good friends, her partner was living with me because they had just moved to the area and needed a place to live, so of course I supported her after they passed. Eventually, she asked if I wanted to give dating a try. We’ve been together for almost 3 years now and I am incredibly happy with her and she seems to be the same with me, but every now and then I think about how a good person, who had been dating her for 6 years at that point, had to die in order for me to be this happy. They had had wedding plans and were looking at apartments. I love my girlfriend more than I can easily express, and do my best to make it known every day, because if nothing else, I want her partner to know that she is being taken care of. I try to love her enough for both of us, because her partner isn’t here to do it anymore. I can’t be them, but I will always try to give her enough love that she doesn’t feel less loved than she did with them.
"You grew a botanical garden out of a pile of shit." I know what you mean by that, and I'm not taking anything away from that; but that is technically what fertilizer is.
I used to talk to my ex-bfs dead wife. She had passed from cancer after having their daughter. I felt that I wanted to be the best person I could for that little girl while I was with her. she was so special and very important to me. Sometime I would just say little thank yous or prayers up to her mother who had passed away, kind of letting her know how proud I was of her daughters achievements in school or dance or gymnastics. I remember she had to get shots one day and was really scared. We watched videos of kids getting shots on TH-cam before going to the doctor. When we got there she was so brave and did great. I sent a little prayer and message up to her mother who had passed away that night, letting her know how proud I was of her being brave and how well she did. It just kind of felt like the right thing to do. Makes me tear up just thinking about it now. It’s too bad her dad was kind of a jerk, we broke up and I missed that little girl so much. More than I missed him to be honest. 😢
Isn’t empathy such an incredible thing? It’s the only thing that let’s anyone on the planet imagine themselves in the shoes of an alcoholic man who learned English as a second language who got a second chance at love because of a tragic death and I think that’s beautiful
I really hope the 1st guy's wife finds/reads her reddit. I've watched it 3xs & cry every single time. I'm a widow & if it were reversed, I'd be so happy to know that he found someone who loved him & our children as much as it sounds like he loves her. 😭
I irony of that fact that the “good man” was taken by a drunk driver and he was struggling with alcoholism at that time and him getting with the mom helped him to get clean to fix his life and provide the mom and daughter with a life is crazy that whole story gave me chills it’s an absolutely beautiful sad set of circumstances that sounds lyk it’s turned out as best as possible I pray for this whole family ❤
Saying that they wanted to be a safe space for their brother like he was for them really hit me hard. I'm glad they had each other through the abuse their parents put them through, and the older brother is THE example of what a truly selfless person is, we must protect him.
The brother is so kind, imagine a child having to step up like that! It makes me so sad but they are so lucky to have each other and to be able to stay together!
The writer in the 3rd story is the mum/mom. Hence the daughter saying she thought her mum liked her boyfriend romantically (still a wild claim, but hey)
Hearing “I’ll tell him about this post, that people will know he existed and was good” made me think about my brother… I miss him every day, and me and my family were the only ones who knew he existed… I wish I could go visit him
@@frankiemillcarek6976 I think you may have completely misunderstood my point. I’m not defending drinking and driving. I’m saying that taxis and Uber are not universally safe options.
It should be noted; a kid should not have to be the hero for their siblings to be safe. But he’s still a hero and I’m so happy he’s getting the help he needs and his siblings want him to be happy, too.
3:00 I think it was a joke about how even though he wasn’t her biological father, she “inherited” his gamer genes because they didn’t come from her mom or dad. A sweet way of acknowledging someone as a father figure without labelling it, as long as it’s done respectfully.
My father had an abusive father. He was the second oldest boy. We would take beatings for his little sisters. My aunt told me about it. He also helped out them through college.
My high school boyfriend was the only man, besides my father, who ever loved. He used to take me on dates and not eat. Years later I realized he was homeless at the time; he was living in his car, but he spent his limited cash on spending time with me. RIP Armadillo
@@nicolewood7957 Thanks for your answer. Maybe I am naive in this, but I believe that with our partner (boyfriend, husband or whatever) we should be always be honest, as it's open possibility for different outcomes. Sometimes these different outcomes are sad, but in a long run, I believe they are always better. How much I understand why he did not tell you the truth, especially good men are deeply ashamed where they cannot provide, and we do not ask for help, because instead of help we receive mockery. I hope this will change one day.
@@Daedalos_MSV I think it’s understandable that a lot of teens won’t fully understand or realise that some of their friends and peers are in bad situations.
My husband passed away 5 years ago. My son was born shortly after. While I just want to focus on my son, eventually, I may want to date again. Anyway, the guy talking about the wife's late husband. Yeah. I cried a lot. That was so beautifully tragic. I like that guy though. He is a good guy. I hope he knows that.
10:03 “Let me ask you: when you guys went to the pool did he swim in the water or walk on it? Was there always an abundance of fish and bread in the house? Was he a carpenter? Because I️ think he may have been Jesus.” Is not something that I️ knew I️ needed but it’s such a good description of that brother. Horrible that they all had to go through that especially him but I️ salute him for what he’s done for his family 🫡
It breaks my heart. I try to be hyper vigilant as a teacher for any signs of abuse or neglect, but even when it's reported usually nothing happens or if it does the foster care system or whoever takes guardianship of the children are usually just as bad. 😭 People are so fucking cruel. I wish the best for these siblings. I hope they can heal together and find inner peace and heal their inner child.
That third story makes me have some pretty serious questions about what is happening to the daughter in other areas of her life. This reaction is considered disproportionate to the stimuli under any circumstances and is indicative of some form of major toxic stress somewhere. Girlypop could do with a talk with a counsellor who specialises in adolescents, just to ensure that she is safe in all areas of her life. As a person who specialises in community social health with a trauma history of my own, that makes my spidey senses go off.
I feel like it's a mix of negative outside influence : Like girl friends that try to give advices for her relationship which actually makes the situation worse ie : the guy has to pay for everything and other stuff. It doesn't explain why she thought her mum was romantically interested in Felix tho. Probably as you said something that happened in a certain part of her life. The other thing is life experience : OP realized the moment she got the clues but May who is closer to Felix didn't realize because A) She wasn't exposed to this kind of situation so she couldn't recognize the patterns. B) Felix himself is hiding it from her. From experience, it's weirdly simple to hide your worst situation to your loved ones. I do believe Mom and Daughter should have a talk about it because this is a very important lesson in her development
it just sounds like she's lived the good life, and has no concept that some people don't have enough food. There is so much rhetoric about inappropriate adults that children hear that and make it the go to when they don't like something about adults. She's probably just embarrassed that her parent was nicer to her boyfriend than she was, and that's what she was lashing out about. I don't think there's anything nefarious. I think she's just a bit spoiled.
As the eldest child from an abusive home I can tell you this is a natural response for some of us to protect the youngers. You know someone is gonna get it, might as well just be you. I am no saint, I am no hero. I was just a kid in an impossible situation who loved my little brother enough that I didn't want him to go through being beaten and berated. There are lots of us oldest punching bags out there.
That first story man has me ugly crying. I love that guy I hope he knows how worthy he is. I hope his pillow is always a cool spot, that his food is always the perfect temperature and delicious, and his clothes are always comfy.
That third story is so wholesome. When I was in my late teens I dated a girl for a few years and I was pretty broke. Her mum probably took me out to dinner every few months. A couple of times was after we dropped her daughter to the airport. It was cool, we just hung out.
I very recently found your channel. I enjoy your humor, but also your kindness. The world needs more people like you in it. Thank you for sharing. You may never know the full impact your videos have on your audience, but I can tell you that watching you in your videos is like a wonderful breath of fresh air to me.
"Because if I don't joke, I'll cry." Reminds me of Rise Leonardo, my favorite character. No toxic masculinity and uses humor to cover up his discomfort. Subbed!
I'm just glad to know that I'm not the only one who cries while reading random stories. Everyone always made me feel like I was too emotional. It always reminds me of when I was in health class in high school, when we were watching a video of babies who were born addicted to drugs, and when the light turned back on everyone laughed at me and the only other person who was tearing up.
That second one got me. I grew up in an abusive household. My mum would target either me or my older brother. We'd sometimes protect each other by lying but mostly we would use each other as a shield. My brother also started abusing me because he saw me as the golden child (I thought he was the same). I wouldn't expect my brother to do what this man did but I can't deny part of me wishes he did. We don't have a relationship now as adults because we can't get over the rivalry to survive
Bloody hell, that sounds like such a difficult relationship, it's a shame that you two couldn't have a positive bond but I understand that shielding yourselves with each other for self-preservation ended up the norm. Just a pity that he started taking it out on you too. I hope that you've been long out of contact with your mother.
@azrael5839 I went full no contact with my mum last year after she started referring to my second child (who was 1.5 at the time), as 'that thing' abs my then 4 year old started getting upset by it. I'm a lot happier without her around and I wish I had had the bravery to do it earlier
@@o0BlackSand0o blech (at what your mum said about your child). I’m sorry she acted in such a way that you felt like you needed to walk away, but glad you are happier.
The older brother protecting his siblings from the abusive parents gives me the absolute feals, his love and desire to protect, and care for his siblings as astounding and that man deserves the world, and he is a amazing person.
That third story... YIKES. If my child ever made that type of accusation against me, that'd be hard to forgive. How could such a green flag have raised such a red flag?? Yikes!!
Today is the first day I have watched your green flags. I am so impressed by your compassion, vulnerability, and ability to see the best in people in spite of all the red flags in the world. I'm a cynical realist with a strong optimistic streak.
In the third story, the parent was the mom. She took him out to dinner that is why the daughter accused her of "liking" him. even though she was just caring for him like a good mother does.
8:10 As someone who’s also the eldest and grew up in abusive households; I completely relate to this story. It’s interesting because I felt like I had to be the parent and protector for my little sister and I feel like that feeling is shared between all eldest siblings who are growing up in abusive households. And even some younger siblings.
The big brother...OMG. That did me in. He deserves only the BEST things in life for his thoughtfulness of others, his sacrifice for his family and for trying to keep them together. He took it, for realz, on the chin, for all of them. If you've ever been in an abusive alcoholic relationship, IYKYK. Brother HERO.
Hi. Im here from tik Tok. So glad I found this channel. You make this world a bit better and I'm glad you found a way to do it. Thanks for what you do and I can't wait to keep watching
This post popped up on my recommended feed. The first story made me audibly sob. In June, I lost a really close friend in a car accident. A lot of people haven’t been empathetic about it and I wish more people treated the situation with as much empathy as the first man did for his wife and stepdaughter
12:37 where did OP say they were the Dad? Nowhere did they say who they are. The final comment from daughter said, liking her boyfriend "romantically". Seems like this is Mom!!! ❤❤
Idk how this video made me cry _and_ laugh. From the “good man had to die for my happiness” to “every time I’m in TSA, I’m immediately thinking ‘what if I have a bomb?’” 😭
The first story hit me pretty hard though for different reasons. In a couple months is the unfortunate anniversary of the passing of my cousin. He died way too young, in his twenties, from a hit and run on his motorcycle. Being a bit of a black sheep among my family, he was one of the few family members I could just have fun with and I looked up to him a lot despite the fact he was a bit younger than me. We didn't live in the same area and so we didn't get to spend a ton of time together, but I appreciate the memories I do have of him. This time of year is particularly hard for me because of this as well as a few other familial tragedies that happened around this time of year, but with that pain comes the memories of good times. I remember when he and I were both taken to one of those RV campgrounds with some of our family. I mostly had a miserable time due to how I was being treated by everyone else, but Daniel always hung out with me. I remember when we were walking around at the base of the river and on reflex he reached out and snatched a fish straight out of the water! He was shocked and super proud. I wish I still had the photo I took of him, but I can still remember his face beaming with pride.
I'm sending you the ample love, strength, and support you deserve. I am so sorry you lost such a wonderful relative and friend. please know that although he was taken from you, he isn't completely gone, as he'll live on in the memories you shared, all the laughs you had together, and in the little habits and quirks that friends swap among each other, such as starting to use a phrase that the other uses a lot or taking up a hobby someone else tried. it seems that your cousin made your world a brighter place, and in doing so, he gave you some of that light to keep forever. you now know that even though your other family aren't all the nicest to you, people who are truly kind, compassionate, and wise will and do treat you with the love and respect that everyone, you included, deserves.
The first story hit me. I lost my first husband when I was 21 years old because he drove drunk. As much pain as losing him caused me I was always extremely grateful he never injured anyone else in his accident. I have always been very against driving while drinking because of what it cost me and our 2 daughters. They were 2 and 4 when he died. They are now 26 and 28, both married and such amazing human beings. And there will always be a hole in my heart for their father who wasn't here for it. Driving drunk isn't worth it.
You’re not wrong about the second story people literally make movies and books about people like that it’s insane. I wish I could say I would’ve done the same but I don’t know if I could’ve. That oldest brother is the truest mvp
Hello young man, I'm old enough to be your grandma...and just recently came across your channel. Thank you from the bottom of my heart...for giving me some hope. I adore your perspective and admire your energy. I will be watching. God Bless 🙏🙏🙏
Lost one of the closest people to me from a drunk driver. His name was also Dustin, he was such a good man and I think it made his funeral harder. The first story is so sad but wholesome ❤
"tell people that he exsisted and that he did an amazing job"...yeah tears! i hope he knows the first husband must tell him the same thing. sounds to me like her picker works great. that amount of love is wonderful. im happy he can love and respect the great man who was the reason he was blessed.
I joke with my stepfather that I inherited his taste buds because I was obviously influenced by the food he made over time. He might be joking that she somehow inherited his love of gaming.
The first story has me sobbing 😭. The best thing my partner does for me is hold space to listen to me talk about my late husband. He wasn't a good man but I still loved him and often cry/laugh at the memories of him.
I've seen these stories on Reddit. Definitely restores some faith in humanity. But, IIRC, I'm pretty sure the third story was written by the mom. Hence the daughter's weird over-the-top reaction.
I think that it was the daughter's mother who took the boyfriend out to dinner which is why the daughter accused her of being romantically interested in her boyfriend and said that she couldn't trust her around her boyfriends now.
"tell him that other people knew he existed and did an amazing job" broke me. how many of us have wondered or feared that people would forget us if were gone? this man will never know, but he's remembered and loved. and we will be, too, no matter what happens. even if it's "just" by that kid we met during a childhood vacation and played with at the pool. the person we showed kindness without knowing they had had a bad day. the stranger we complimented on their outfit or hair or smile. kindness will be remembered.
If I was the person who had died in the accident - I would be SO happy that someone chose to marry my other half, and parent my child. I would be so, so, so glad that someone loved them the way I loved them.
Same sentiments. My husband and I have talked about it, but we both insist we'd stay single anyways if anything ever happened. That kind of love is so hard to find, nurture and hold onto in this crazy world.
Same. I wouldn't want my love to suffer over me forever. I'd want them to find love again, and be happy again. And if your spouse would be mad that you tried to do that? Guess what, that's a RED FLAG!
exactly, i would love for someone to look after my family, to let them experience joy i could no longer give them
Same. My first born often asks about death, and when she was 3, asked me where she could find a new mummy if I died. She said she could not live whitout a mummy, she needed to know where to find one just in case. 😢
That term “god sent” applies sm to him.
"Her daughter was with her mother" likely meant that the woman went to the clinic and her daughter fell to grandma
Yes 100% 👆
Yep, I’m surprised that was confusing.
Yes. Seemed obvious daughter was with grandma.
I took it as she was with her mother during the time of the accident ,but it was worded weird and this was just my first thought when it came ot it.
Sounds Like the Story took place in Germany, so it is possible that the daughter stayed in the clinic with her mum. Depends on the clinic though, there are some which also provide childcare during therapy sessions.
It's refreshing to see someone who isn't jealous of a ghost. I've heard way too many stories of new partners whose spouses are widows, and they make it their personal mission to erase any evidence that person existed.
You know how people say they married their best friend. Well I dodged a bullet with mine. He turned into a bitter butthead in his older years. Tried telling me I shouldn't have been sad when my son's dad passed away. While my actual husband was totally understanding and comforted me so that I could grieve someone who deserved to be grieved.
That is manipulative insecure behavior.
Yeah, I wouldn’t put up with that. I was widowed in my late 20’s, and my new partner goes out of his way to be respectful of my late husband. It can be sort of hard sometimes, because I realized after he died that he didn’t treat me so good. One day my partner said “hm. You know, I really try to be respectful. You loved him, he’s the father of your child, but sometimes you tell me things that make me go ‘BUDDY. What the F^CK.’” That’s the most he’s ever really said.
That’s grounds for divorce for me. I understand if the grieving person makes their new spouse feel like second best, it can hurt them. But disrespecting the fact that person tragically passed away and trying to erase the memory of them? That goes beyond jealousy. That’s demented.
@benjie128 FR. Most of these stories are the living spouse couldn't wait to replace their deceased spouse, have no care for the children who have lost a parent and are now forcing them to love and accept the person replacing their deceased parent.
Honestly, those cases have nothing to do with love, but lust - they can't keep it in their pants, refuse to grieve their loss, and are definitely the type of people who can't be single for more than 2 seconds.
Story 1 is what people SHOULD be doing - he's the new spouse and knows that someone had to die for him to have this happiness. He's GRATEFUL! Grateful that he has this opportunity for something he didn't think he'd ever have and knows it only came about because the 1st husband had to die. And he repays that gratefulness by telling the husband what's happening in his family's lives.
That's a GOOD man and a GOOD spouse!
“Good man had to die for my happiness” got me cryin in the club.
It was such a loaded statement with so much meaning behind it that it honestly overwhelmed me. Just unreal.
That got me, too, honestly
I had not expected to cry as much as I did at that statement.
So overwhelmed. hit me right in the gut
Aaaaah emotional gut punch.
My dad remarried, but they only had a year together before he lost his six year battle with cancer. A few years later, bonus mom remarried and now I refer to him as Dad #3 (bonus dad is Dad #2). He routinely goes with my bonus mom to visit my dad's grave.
When I got engaged, Dad #2 and Dad #3 insisted on taking my now husband out to dinner to get to know him better (we live 7 hours away). Hubby is 6' 3" and had been a firefighter for seven years at that point. He said they intimidated him, not in a "I've got a shotgun" kind of way, but in a "We want to make sure you won't hurt her" kind of way. He said they both acted like I was their daughter.
That's incredibly sweet, & so healthy.
🥹🥹🥹 that’s so awesome and I’m so happy for you.
This is what I believe it means when we say “it takes a village.” It’s not the literal incorporated city where you live. It is the village of interdependent people with whom we build our lives, and this can be blood, married, or friend relatives.❤
This is so beautiful 🥹.
please tell me they both will walk you down the aisle
"A good man had to die for my happiness" I'm sobbing, that hit me harder than I thought.
I wish yall could’ve seen the goosebumps that I had on my arm from that part 😭 really profound statement, and a layer of grief that most people don’t think about. His passing deeply affected someone he didn’t even know, because the husband can’t be happy without thinking about what it took for him to gain that happiness.
@@DustinPoynterVideos It's incredible how deeply your empathy goes. Take really good care of yourself man. I am HSP, but even I can mostly shield myself from going in that too much..as long as it's something I read. If it happens around me, I am a wreck. I'm just saying...I hope you can leave those stories behind, once your done making the video. Must be exhausting as it is
That made me tear up
That brother had me CRYING. He never should have had to be a hero, but goddamn, he was.
Just had a conversation with my Mom before watching the video that made me emotional, and the brother thing had me weeping because of the sheer familial love of it all.
The first one had me tearing up but the brother one really, really tested my ability to not start crying at work.
I was nearly crying. I caught myself, cos I haven't had the strength left for a cry today.
It reminded me a lot of my own childhood home. Triggered some of the worst memories.
And all the time I am thinking: Why the heck can't the police and child services do anything? Like... how can this happen over years and years? Yes, victims especially children don't have the guts for it. Even think they would be disrespecting their parents. But I think the brother waited and waited so that the kids wouldn't end up in forster care. Which is even more sad. Those parents in the forster system should be absolutely save and reliable. So that an older sibling can finish school and then afterwards take the siblings to live with them. It's so sad in all points of view.
Hope that sister doesn't skip school or learn an unwanted job like her brother, just to make it easier on everyone. One unhappy career is enough. The mental trauma they all have is longing for happy days. So doing what doesn't make you happy, daily, is really bad. I can sing a song about that
@@lisastenzel5713 I helped my best friend fight in court for almost 20 years and they never did anything for some of the most damaging abuse I've ever seen. She tried to unalive herself twice and her sister actually managed it. Horrendous.
I'm not an overly empathic person, I usually don't have that much empathy for people, but the brother story.. that got to me
In the last story, that is honestly a really important parenting moment, and I really hope OP had a conversation with the daughter about WHY this happened, what poverty can look like, and how (technically unintentionally, but still harmful) cruel she had been to her boyfriend in a moment where OP was trying to do something kind.
I totally get not wanting a parent there. But I really think a mistake would be made on OPs part if there isn’t eventually a teaching conversation once the daughter has time to cool down.
The kid is really bad though. She literally dumped her boyfriend off to go hang with her friends because her parent offered to buy them dinner. She needs a firm talking to about this situation because it comes off as she is using the boy. Being a teenager isn't an excuse for treating people badly, we all did dumb stuff but even my friends knew how to spot when something was off.
@@ZombieMinion1992 in short, I think 14yos these days dont really get exposed to social cues as much as we did...
@@ZombieMinion1992No, she's pretty normal for that age. You're thinking about it from the dad's perspective. For her, as a teenage girl who probably has no clue what her boyfriend is doing to support her, what happened was her dad horning in on a date for no reason, and her boyfriend being OK with that. I literally have never known a girl that age who would be OK with that _and_ was socially adept enough to date and have friends.
The version of this I saw first didn't mention that the kid couldn't take money. I told my husband the story as something sweet, but he immediately started shaking his head and said the dad handled it wrong and should have slipped the kid some money. I get now why he didn't, but he still should have come up with a solution that didn't insert himself.
It's not that teens have to rebel. It's that they want independence and privacy. That's the age that most, but especially girls, do not want any adults around their socializing, least of all parents.
@@AussieCrimeCasesno. Im 15, this girl is just stupid. Poverty isn’t always easy to see, so I guess maybe some of my sense comes from me being on the poorer side. (I don’t think Im impoverished though, and im definitely not starving. Just can always see a difference between middle class friends and i) but it’s not hard to tell when someone isn’t financially well, especially if they DONT EAT DURING A DATE?! This girl is straight up self absorbed for not realizing.
And personally, the whole "gentleman has to pay for everything while on dates" is crap. I don't care if the parties are 14, 41 or 400.
3rd story: Didn't the girl notice that her bf didn't get stuff for himself on their dates? Also, the accusations?
Time for a sit down and talk with her.
I think the girl is abusing her boyfriend, and the mom saved the boyfriend from what could have been so much worse. In hindsight, the mom saved the boyfriend's life.
Okay I know the girl is being shitty rn, but she's also 14. I think it's a bit drastic to say OP saved the boys life.
People with eating disorders are well known to be able to fool even those close to them for quite a while, I expect he'd be trying to hide his problems at home as well as he can. Teenagers are not the most observant people and for her, not being able to afford regular meals would be something that doesn't even enter her mind. I'm mostly concerned about that accusation. Where does a barely-teenager even get an idea like that? Am I that out of touch with what the kids are doing on tiktok?
OP definitely needs to have a chat with the kid and talk about things. Also about expectations when dating, tho. This whole "the boyfriend pays for everything" is stupid and sexist enough when you're adults, but as kids, your only "income" is whatever your parents decide to give you in pocket money. Dumb all around. Nothing wrong one occasionally treating the other but this imbalance sets up a mountain of bullshit that can lead both of them down a very toxic path
@@nevaehhamilton3493they are 14…. It’s not that she was abusing but has a weird idea of what dating is and can’t put two and two together.
As someone who was once a teenage girl: teenage girls are stupid. Boys do stupid things, girls think stupid things. Especially when it's things that are socially accepted/expected. Status quo has a chokehold on teen girls. For example, if a boy gets her stuff on dates, she's not gonna question it and frankly will be too busy being critical of herself to pay much attention to anything about him outside of what comes with the expectations.
@@BlueGangsta1958 I hope she matures but she didnt even know this guys life or like it has been said cared that he didnt order any food. Then she acts like her dad os going to sleep with a 14 yr old? If she is heavy online it is kind of hard to imagine she will be a better person later. Likely will be a dumpster fire.
If the family knew that man went to the first husband’s grave by himself to talk to him and give him updates, I think they would like him more 😢
Agree. I wish they could know how much genuine respect & appreciation OP has for a man he never knew. He has a sort of 'love' for this person in a way that is a bit hard to explain, & it's possible not everyone would 'get it', might make it sound 'strange' or 'obsessive' (when that absolutely is not what it is here).
It’s really unfair of them to reject him when he’s been such a supportive person. It makes no sense to me. Even if they don’t know, what he’s already shown them is worth respecting him for.
@@lilscenechick1995 I don't think they're rejecting him, I think they're just grieving. Every time he drops off his daughter at their house, it's a reminder that their son isn't around to do that anymore. Like OP himself acknowledged, he's filling shoes that, in a perfect world, he wouldn't have needed to fill. No parent should have to bury their child, they're allowed to struggle with the situation. We also don't know how long it's been (not accusing the wife of "moving on too fast" or anything, but people grieve differently and at different paces)
@@violet7773 If your talking about the first story the OP was talking to his wife's late husband not her son.
@@Indigo_Shard the person you're replying to was talking about the in-laws burying their son. Thinking about him when OP drops off their grand-daughter.
It is true that children raised in a healthy home really struggle understanding the darkness and terror that occurs in other homes.
I agree, although it depends on the family and what the parents teach their kids.
At 14 yo, I didn´t just know the world could be cruel because I got bullied in middle school (high school was instead a blessing to me), I had some school friends who were in VERY critical situations (I mean "had to be taken away from the family" type of situation).
I didn´t refuse to see the issues, despite coming from a happy and healthy family, also because my parents always spoke clearly with me on this stuff.
The girl of which the reddit post talks about is IMHO definitely refusing to see the issue (I mean, come on! How can you not? Being a teen doesn´t mean being stupid, she must have noticed something at school too if this guy isn´t eating properly) and is probably being influenced by something toxic but "appealing" she read/saw online about "how a date should be" and "how to treat your date".
I wouldn’t exactly call my home completely healthy but growing up with all the things I need and want made me feel guilty for even having those things. Especially since both my parents grew up poor and would tell me stories of their lives back then.
Not to mention both my parents experienced abuse, though my dad’s the only one that admits he was.
@teritt As a parent that grew up poor in the same town as my husband, who not only grew up poor but under strict pentecostal guidelines and a cold adoptive mother, we find ourselves shocked sometimes at the inability to find the kind of happiness we did over small and simple things. My single father would come home and say " look in my pocket " and he had stopped for candies. Those memories stuck to my heart. I knew I mattered and it meant everything to me. When we're constantly swiping our cards and being considerate but see them still unable to find joy it breaks our hearts and hurts our feelings. We internalize the behavior because we don't understand. But the truth is neither do they. You have to come to realize that sometimes what we saw as hardship was a blessing and the blessings they have can feel to them like hardship. We attempt to remove the hard things that shape us then expect them to think like us. Parenting teaches us a lot about ourselves and sometimes if we let it we can grow up again with our kids and both of us get a little of what the other didn't have.❤
@@alissahhodges5854
See I get all that Alissa, but I was called spoiled throughout childhood while I still could only comprehend spoiled as the bully in the tv screen.
@teritt I'm sorry about that hunny! They were most likely trying to convince you of something that simply wasn't true. They were in denial about what kind of parents they were. I hope you have good boundaries and learn that you are enough. You aren't spoiled a bit and you can decide what's good for you now! ❤️
Hey Dustin. I’m a therapist and addiction specialist. The oldest child in a family with addicted parents often shield their siblings from abuse.
Yep, I was the older sibling, my brothers still don’t know even half of what went on during our childhood
It’s our duty afterall. Who else will defend the smaller ones?
@@sadie1606it should be the parents but yeah if you they fail it’s fall to the elder child. It’s really unfair for them
Trauma a Informed Community Health specialist here, and also the oldest child of an alcoholic. I definitely agree.
Yes, this was me
The daughter was with the wife's mother during wife's time in the clinic. Also, the comment about the genes is because he considers his wife's daughter as his own, and jokes that the genes she got from him are the gamer genes, even though they aren't biologically related ❤
Me reading your comment too fast read it as "the daughter was the wife's mother" and I got confused for a moment
Yes, I agree. I used to say my middle stepdaughter took after me because we had so many similar interests and parts of our personalities even though she wasn't my birth child.
That's how I understood it as well.
I love that even with the ability to edit you let us see when you got emotional. What's the opposite of toxic masculinity, because this definitely falls into that category.
We normalize crying on this channel 👏
I got a bit teary too (can't let it out bc I'm at work), so I'm really grateful for the moment of respect and pure empathy we all feel for this guy 💙💙
Loving masculinity?
Apparently there's no such thing as toxic masculinity there's only "toxic" and "masculine"
@@Nixxks Toxic masculinity is an attitude or set of social guidelines stereotypically associated with manliness that often have a negative impact on men, women, and society in general. The term "toxic masculinity" isn't meant to imply that the idea of masculinity in itself is inherently bad.
Toxic masculinity describes men who believe domination, aggression, and homophobia are the standard definition of “manliness.” On the other hand, a more positive and healthy definition of masculinity prioritizes self-growth and high emotional intelligence.
My husband talks to my late husband. Sometimes when I'm out, he'll put on movies that they both like and my husband will invite my late husband (LH) to watch with him. When my husband had to have surgery, as he was waking up, he told me my LH was with him. They talked about me, and LH asked my husband to tell his family he loved them and he was watching over them. LH and I had 4 children together and my husband has loved them and raised them as if they were his own and they all call him Dad. He thanks my LH for us all the time.
I'm sobbing reading this. I hope you and your husband are very happy together, I'm so glad you have each other.
@@rowanlavellan9755 we are very happy together, thank you. I always say he was an anniversary gift from my LH because he found me on my LH and my wedding anniversary, 5 years after he passed away.
I watched the video without tearing up, but this just opened the flood gates.
im not gonna lie i thought this was the wife from the first story😅
My mom visited me in my room when she died about 10 minutes before I got the call from my eldest sister that she had passed. I completely believe that your late husband visits your current one to check on you ❤
That older brother was my twin sister. She physically blocked my door and got beat instead of me. There is nobody in this world I am more grateful for.
Not all heroes wear capes. Some wear scars and bruises. She sounds like a wonderful woman, and I sincerely hope she gets the beautiful life she deserves!
@@eldaroses.g.r.7945 thank you so much. Not gonna lie your comment made me tear up a bit. I’m happy to report that she’s doing better nowadays with a wonderful husband and a lucky kid on the way. Selfishly I wish I had had more of a hand in helping her get to that happier place, but she’s always had the strength to pull through on her own, which I’m so proud of her for. Now it’s my turn to build that place for myself 😅
@@Lol-zw8ksbest of luck to you in building that place! And congrats to your sister. I hope you two always have each other to lean on. ❤️
Omg. He goes back every few months to give updates?! 😭😭😭😭😭😭 he existed and did an amazing job 🖤
INCREDIBLE HUMAN
I had to pause, I could not even think there were so many emotions to feel
The brightest of green flags flashed in my eyes at that moment. Just- WOW 🥹
He is the manliest of men. All shall bow before him.
5:00 "Tell him that other people knew he existed and he did an amazing job" got me dropping tears in my oatmeal. Good grief!
Literally - good .... grief.
That brother.... I hope he finds all the happiness he deserves and can finally heal
And I hope the first man gets over his guilt and can see that the dead husband is watching over them all
The self sacrificing brother made me cry. Omg. Protect that man.
The "good man had to die" part had me in tears.
❤
If it were possible for me to talk to the step dad, I would like to propose a perspective shift from “a good man had to die for my happiness” to “that good man would probably be very happy to know that *this good man* is giving his family the things he would give them if he could be there”
that's what i was thinking
I was like that brother. I don't really cry (it brings more trouble), but when my younger siblings got together just to say thank you, I lost it. I'm tearing up just remembering. I didn't do it to be a hero, I just knew that it broke my heart when they got beat and the pain of that was worse than the blows. Afterward, I also knew I had to get them out of that house because their shield was gone. I regret nothing and, even if I used to, their gratitude put an end to that.
You deserve all the happiness this world has to offer. I physically placed myself in the middle whenever my dad started to regularly beat my mom. I would put myself in between them to protect my mom. When he finally left I thought it was over.. Then I got a stepdad. My stepdad was my Dad 2.0 and he really started to become violent from drinking. Then he started gambling away all of the rent money, and I did my best to protect my little brothers from the reality of the situation. My mom died when they were teenagers, (and my dad died 27 days before she did.) I guess I overprotected them, because they are so grateful for their dad, and I get blamed for their poor relationships with women. But I don’t regret a single thing, especially when it comes to protecting them. I am so happy your siblings thanked you; and like I said, you deserve everything good this world has to offer. Sorry for the word Vomit. I just think when someone sacrifices their own childhoods in order for your siblings to grow up happy and healthy, someone should point out how awesome YOU are, and I really hope your life is wonderful, because you deserve it--- This internet stranger will shut up now, lol. Take good care of yourself. 😊❤😊❤
@Chrisyt272 Thank you for that, and I noticed 0 word vomit! Just know, even if no one has told you, you're an amazing human being to risk your health and safety in service of others. In a world full of "individuals", we're a rare breed. 😊
@JessicaBiggers Thank you so much, Jessica❤️ I didn't know how much I needed to hear that. Sometimes, the guilt for having to take care of myself after my parents died can eat me alive. I wish I could have been stable enough to be able to take care of them whilst taking care of me with mental health. I live with the guilt that they both developed some form of addiction issues. (One died last year) and I can't help but blame myself even though the rational part of my brain reminds me that I had a nervous breakdown, and I was of no use to anyone in that condition. Again, thank you so much for the kind words; and you are absolutely right. We are a rare breed. Sending you a giant virtual hug!
Me too. Just did it to get them through. I'm so proud of my sister the days though. All worth it.
You're a hero man
The daughter was with the grandmother +2:31
Came to say this
I think this
Same
The baby red flag 🤣🤣
Tiny flags for tiny folks!
The tiny voice too had me 🤣
Baby red flags can still change colour or grow...
@@ameliab324 It's true. You have a beautiful outlook.
For the 3rd story i for sure thought there was an update to it where the parent explains more to the daughter cause she was raised so well that her world view didnt even fathom the financial aspects of dating and had no idea of their bfs money issue and starving themselves for their dates.
There has to be. The mom-instincts kicked in& she was going to feed that starving child. It can be delicate tho, because the boy may rather lose his GF to a misunderstanding than the GF know he's too broke to feed himself & home life isn't stable. In his mind it may be too much on his ego, & the GF might think he's been "lying" this whole time. Kids can be awful. Mom's heart is in the right place! Someday she will tell her. Gf probably had no idea this was about compassion bc why else would BF need anything from her mom, ya know?
The second story....its so hard to break the cycle of abuse. And a lot of times it breaks the person who stands up to it, which is especially heart-breaking when theyre a child too. My great-uncle, my grandfather's older brother, did it for my grandfather. Thanks to him my grandfather grew up healthy and happy, and never passed on that cycle. My great uncle was an alcoholic until the day he died and i never met him, but I'm always grateful for what he did.
That is.. so heartbreaking, I thought this video couldn’t make me cry anymore.. god bless your grandfather and god rest your great-uncle
That's so sad 😢
Thank you for telling us about him, I’m so thankful to him now as well.
Third story: I don’t think May really comprehends that her boyfriend is literally food insecure at home, and instead of spending his pennies on buying himself food, he has been going hungry while trying to be a “good boyfriend” rather than being honest.
Mom is absolutely not the red flag. May is 14, and just doesn’t get it now. Probably reading/watching a little too much trashy teen dramas if she genuinely thinks her mom was hitting on her boyfriend. I sincerely hope May comes around as she matures, that something clicks to understand her mom was just trying to feed a hungry kid without embarrassing him in front of his girlfriend.
For me mum is a red flag, but for different reasons. In the story I am missing any parenting moment, either explaining her daugher she acts like a gold-digger, or explaining why she took the boy out. This kind of story should not end on the question AITA, but with parenting moment/lesson.
Additionally, we are living in period of equality, why the boy should be paying for both of them all the time! This should be another parenting moment.
@Daedalos_MSV could always be that she explained it later and they had a talk about it. But trying to have those convos w an angry teen isn't going to be conducive to learning; they're not going to hear you anyway. I'm also hoping she did in fact have that learning moment later on, but thr green flag is for helping out that boy who was starving.
The boy also probably hasn't told her that he's going hungry to pay for their dates either, which might make her feel a bit different if she knew for sure?
@@zenkozenko4989 that is a speculation. Based on very limited information I could speculate, that she would dump him, because he is unable to provide her a standard she is used to. And both speculations have same validity/probability.
Simply we do not know, they are girls in the world who would feel different, and girls who don't.
Yeah, as a former 14 year old girl, this kind of behavior is normal
When he says "I joke that these are my genes" he is saying that the (step) daughter is a gamer and he jokes that she got that from him/his genes. It's a joke because she didn't get any genes from him but they're both gamers
I make similar jokes to my eldest dog that his granddaughter has his plush fur, which is always interesting because she's a cat. (My two eldest dogs adopted a kitten after they had puppies, and that cat had kittens later.)
@@marthastout5340Omg you’re as pet nutty as i am! Love it 😂
"He deserves to have a safe space too" from story 2 got me good. I dont know how one person can be so selfless after all of that 😭
My girlfriend’s partner before me was my housemate, and they passed away very suddenly due to a seizure-induced heart attack. My now girlfriend and I had already been good friends, her partner was living with me because they had just moved to the area and needed a place to live, so of course I supported her after they passed.
Eventually, she asked if I wanted to give dating a try. We’ve been together for almost 3 years now and I am incredibly happy with her and she seems to be the same with me, but every now and then I think about how a good person, who had been dating her for 6 years at that point, had to die in order for me to be this happy. They had had wedding plans and were looking at apartments.
I love my girlfriend more than I can easily express, and do my best to make it known every day, because if nothing else, I want her partner to know that she is being taken care of. I try to love her enough for both of us, because her partner isn’t here to do it anymore. I can’t be them, but I will always try to give her enough love that she doesn’t feel less loved than she did with them.
I'm sobbing. That first story was so heartbreakly lovely.
I hope all these people have every happiness
If the brother dose not get a family of his own, this world is lost. He deserves it and will be a great father.
"You grew a botanical garden out of a pile of shit."
I know what you mean by that, and I'm not taking anything away from that; but that is technically what fertilizer is.
+1, even when it isn't specifically horse or goat shit, it will be worm shit.
I used to talk to my ex-bfs dead wife. She had passed from cancer after having their daughter. I felt that I wanted to be the best person I could for that little girl while I was with her. she was so special and very important to me. Sometime I would just say little thank yous or prayers up to her mother who had passed away, kind of letting her know how proud I was of her daughters achievements in school or dance or gymnastics. I remember she had to get shots one day and was really scared. We watched videos of kids getting shots on TH-cam before going to the doctor. When we got there she was so brave and did great. I sent a little prayer and message up to her mother who had passed away that night, letting her know how proud I was of her being brave and how well she did. It just kind of felt like the right thing to do. Makes me tear up just thinking about it now. It’s too bad her dad was kind of a jerk, we broke up and I missed that little girl so much. More than I missed him to be honest. 😢
Isn’t empathy such an incredible thing? It’s the only thing that let’s anyone on the planet imagine themselves in the shoes of an alcoholic man who learned English as a second language who got a second chance at love because of a tragic death and I think that’s beautiful
that first story is devastating in so many ways. what a self aware man. their love gives me hope.
oh god the second story is just as cutting in the best and worst ways possible. oh i will be crying this whole video 😫😭😩
I really hope the 1st guy's wife finds/reads her reddit. I've watched it 3xs & cry every single time. I'm a widow & if it were reversed, I'd be so happy to know that he found someone who loved him & our children as much as it sounds like he loves her. 😭
I irony of that fact that the “good man” was taken by a drunk driver and he was struggling with alcoholism at that time and him getting with the mom helped him to get clean to fix his life and provide the mom and daughter with a life is crazy that whole story gave me chills it’s an absolutely beautiful sad set of circumstances that sounds lyk it’s turned out as best as possible I pray for this whole family ❤
Saying that they wanted to be a safe space for their brother like he was for them really hit me hard. I'm glad they had each other through the abuse their parents put them through, and the older brother is THE example of what a truly selfless person is, we must protect him.
4:03 …. god, that hit HARD.
Damn that deep woah
The brother is so kind, imagine a child having to step up like that! It makes me so sad but they are so lucky to have each other and to be able to stay together!
The writer in the 3rd story is the mum/mom. Hence the daughter saying she thought her mum liked her boyfriend romantically (still a wild claim, but hey)
Dustin, thank you for being the greenest of flags.
Hearing “I’ll tell him about this post, that people will know he existed and was good” made me think about my brother… I miss him every day, and me and my family were the only ones who knew he existed… I wish I could go visit him
Not all countries have Uber.. BUT all of them have taxis!
For a woman traveling alone, unfortunately taxis and ride services such as Uber are not always safe options.
@@genevalawrence801if you can't drink and not drive, don't go out drinking
@@frankiemillcarek6976 I think you may have completely misunderstood my point. I’m not defending drinking and driving. I’m saying that taxis and Uber are not universally safe options.
@@genevalawrence801Taxis aren't always safe, neither is drunk driving.
@@laurazepam8382 Sigh. Can you please show me where I said that drunk driving was defensible? That’s nowhere in my words.
People don’t cry because there week, they cry because they have been strong for to long. - Johnny Depp
It should be noted; a kid should not have to be the hero for their siblings to be safe. But he’s still a hero and I’m so happy he’s getting the help he needs and his siblings want him to be happy, too.
That is his child and he loves her, that he honors her father is so pure
"I feel incredible guilt because a good man had to die for my happiness."
Not many things make me tear up but that line got me.
3:00 I think it was a joke about how even though he wasn’t her biological father, she “inherited” his gamer genes because they didn’t come from her mom or dad. A sweet way of acknowledging someone as a father figure without labelling it, as long as it’s done respectfully.
My father had an abusive father. He was the second oldest boy. We would take beatings for his little sisters. My aunt told me about it. He also helped out them through college.
4:32 This legit made me cry.
My high school boyfriend was the only man, besides my father, who ever loved. He used to take me on dates and not eat. Years later I realized he was homeless at the time; he was living in his car, but he spent his limited cash on spending time with me. RIP Armadillo
You never asked him, why he is not eating?
@@Daedalos_MSV he would say he wasn’t hungry, he ate a big lunch, etc
@@nicolewood7957 Thanks for your answer.
Maybe I am naive in this, but I believe that with our partner (boyfriend, husband or whatever) we should be always be honest, as it's open possibility for different outcomes. Sometimes these different outcomes are sad, but in a long run, I believe they are always better.
How much I understand why he did not tell you the truth, especially good men are deeply ashamed where they cannot provide, and we do not ask for help, because instead of help we receive mockery. I hope this will change one day.
@@Daedalos_MSV I think it’s understandable that a lot of teens won’t fully understand or realise that some of their friends and peers are in bad situations.
I secretly love "Book of Faces" as a title for Facebook.
Thank you! 😂 I was wondering why that was funny. 🙄 I was actually picturing a book… of faces. 🫤 😆
My husband passed away 5 years ago. My son was born shortly after. While I just want to focus on my son, eventually, I may want to date again.
Anyway, the guy talking about the wife's late husband. Yeah. I cried a lot. That was so beautifully tragic. I like that guy though. He is a good guy. I hope he knows that.
10:03 “Let me ask you: when you guys went to the pool did he swim in the water or walk on it? Was there always an abundance of fish and bread in the house? Was he a carpenter? Because I️ think he may have been Jesus.” Is not something that I️ knew I️ needed but it’s such a good description of that brother. Horrible that they all had to go through that especially him but I️ salute him for what he’s done for his family 🫡
12:44 I'm so glad I'm not the only one like this going through TSA
9:13 the brother's energy came from his sheer will to survive and make sure his sibblings did too 🥲
It breaks my heart. I try to be hyper vigilant as a teacher for any signs of abuse or neglect, but even when it's reported usually nothing happens or if it does the foster care system or whoever takes guardianship of the children are usually just as bad. 😭 People are so fucking cruel. I wish the best for these siblings. I hope they can heal together and find inner peace and heal their inner child.
That third story makes me have some pretty serious questions about what is happening to the daughter in other areas of her life. This reaction is considered disproportionate to the stimuli under any circumstances and is indicative of some form of major toxic stress somewhere. Girlypop could do with a talk with a counsellor who specialises in adolescents, just to ensure that she is safe in all areas of her life. As a person who specialises in community social health with a trauma history of my own, that makes my spidey senses go off.
Same, actually. It sounds like she's getting pressure from somewhere, or something happened that she lashed out.
Sometimes teenagers are just vindictive assholes.
I feel like it's a mix of negative outside influence :
Like girl friends that try to give advices for her relationship which actually makes the situation worse
ie : the guy has to pay for everything and other stuff.
It doesn't explain why she thought her mum was romantically interested in Felix tho. Probably as you said something that happened in a certain part of her life.
The other thing is life experience : OP realized the moment she got the clues but May who is closer to Felix didn't realize because
A) She wasn't exposed to this kind of situation so she couldn't recognize the patterns.
B) Felix himself is hiding it from her. From experience, it's weirdly simple to hide your worst situation to your loved ones.
I do believe Mom and Daughter should have a talk about it because this is a very important lesson in her development
it just sounds like she's lived the good life, and has no concept that some people don't have enough food. There is so much rhetoric about inappropriate adults that children hear that and make it the go to when they don't like something about adults. She's probably just embarrassed that her parent was nicer to her boyfriend than she was, and that's what she was lashing out about. I don't think there's anything nefarious. I think she's just a bit spoiled.
Accusing her mom of liking her 14 year old bf is WILD! I can't even! 😅
As the eldest child from an abusive home I can tell you this is a natural response for some of us to protect the youngers. You know someone is gonna get it, might as well just be you. I am no saint, I am no hero. I was just a kid in an impossible situation who loved my little brother enough that I didn't want him to go through being beaten and berated. There are lots of us oldest punching bags out there.
That first story man has me ugly crying. I love that guy I hope he knows how worthy he is. I hope his pillow is always a cool spot, that his food is always the perfect temperature and delicious, and his clothes are always comfy.
That he always has a safe place to live and water and food and health too.
That third story is so wholesome. When I was in my late teens I dated a girl for a few years and I was pretty broke. Her mum probably took me out to dinner every few months. A couple of times was after we dropped her daughter to the airport. It was cool, we just hung out.
Your flag running gasps are iconic, my friend.
That brother is absolutely book worthy.
I very recently found your channel. I enjoy your humor, but also your kindness. The world needs more people like you in it. Thank you for sharing. You may never know the full impact your videos have on your audience, but I can tell you that watching you in your videos is like a wonderful breath of fresh air to me.
This seriously means a lot 😭 thank you so much!!!
"Because if I don't joke, I'll cry."
Reminds me of Rise Leonardo, my favorite character. No toxic masculinity and uses humor to cover up his discomfort. Subbed!
I'm just glad to know that I'm not the only one who cries while reading random stories. Everyone always made me feel like I was too emotional. It always reminds me of when I was in health class in high school, when we were watching a video of babies who were born addicted to drugs, and when the light turned back on everyone laughed at me and the only other person who was tearing up.
I love these long form videos, they're a nice thing to have on in the background that isn't depressing or mind numbing
That second one got me. I grew up in an abusive household. My mum would target either me or my older brother. We'd sometimes protect each other by lying but mostly we would use each other as a shield. My brother also started abusing me because he saw me as the golden child (I thought he was the same). I wouldn't expect my brother to do what this man did but I can't deny part of me wishes he did.
We don't have a relationship now as adults because we can't get over the rivalry to survive
Bloody hell, that sounds like such a difficult relationship, it's a shame that you two couldn't have a positive bond but I understand that shielding yourselves with each other for self-preservation ended up the norm. Just a pity that he started taking it out on you too.
I hope that you've been long out of contact with your mother.
@azrael5839 I went full no contact with my mum last year after she started referring to my second child (who was 1.5 at the time), as 'that thing' abs my then 4 year old started getting upset by it. I'm a lot happier without her around and I wish I had had the bravery to do it earlier
@@anjafrohlich1170 thank you
@@o0BlackSand0o blech (at what your mum said about your child). I’m sorry she acted in such a way that you felt like you needed to walk away, but glad you are happier.
I hope the second story tells their brother all that. He deserves to hear it ❤
The older brother protecting his siblings from the abusive parents gives me the absolute feals, his love and desire to protect, and care for his siblings as astounding and that man deserves the world, and he is a amazing person.
That third story... YIKES. If my child ever made that type of accusation against me, that'd be hard to forgive. How could such a green flag have raised such a red flag?? Yikes!!
Well to be fair, she’s like 12! She probably said this because she was mad.
@@Parker_DNDnerdShe’s 14
@kuro.hitsuji For real!! Except for the forgiving part. For me, it would be a **teaching moment, not a forgiving moment.
@@sandrales1351 you're right, I guess I meant "forget" lol
@@kuro.hitsuji You can forgive, but it is never wise to forget.
Today is the first day I have watched your green flags. I am so impressed by your compassion, vulnerability, and ability to see the best in people in spite of all the red flags in the world. I'm a cynical realist with a strong optimistic streak.
Gosh... I'm not in a great place right now. This video made me feel 1000 times better.
Thanks Dustin❤
Damn...really sorry to hear this! But also very glad that this could help in some way.
@@DustinPoynterVideosYou replied!! ❤️ Thank you so much for the concern
You're a green flag yourself 💚
In the third story, the parent was the mom. She took him out to dinner that is why the daughter accused her of "liking" him. even though she was just caring for him like a good mother does.
8:10 As someone who’s also the eldest and grew up in abusive households; I completely relate to this story. It’s interesting because I felt like I had to be the parent and protector for my little sister and I feel like that feeling is shared between all eldest siblings who are growing up in abusive households. And even some younger siblings.
The big brother...OMG. That did me in. He deserves only the BEST things in life for his thoughtfulness of others, his sacrifice for his family and for trying to keep them together. He took it, for realz, on the chin, for all of them. If you've ever been in an abusive alcoholic relationship, IYKYK.
Brother HERO.
Hi. Im here from tik Tok. So glad I found this channel. You make this world a bit better and I'm glad you found a way to do it. Thanks for what you do and I can't wait to keep watching
Thank you so much for being here and thank you for the kind words!! It seriously means a ton. Excited to keep it moving!!
Here from TikTok too 🎉
This post popped up on my recommended feed. The first story made me audibly sob. In June, I lost a really close friend in a car accident. A lot of people haven’t been empathetic about it and I wish more people treated the situation with as much empathy as the first man did for his wife and stepdaughter
"Was there always an abundance of fish and barley in the house" 😂😂😂
😂😂😂
The one about the older brother cannot possibly be topped. That was intense and simultaneously beautiful. Heartbreaking for him but WOW.
12:37 where did OP say they were the Dad? Nowhere did they say who they are. The final comment from daughter said, liking her boyfriend "romantically". Seems like this is Mom!!! ❤❤
Idk how this video made me cry _and_ laugh. From the “good man had to die for my happiness” to “every time I’m in TSA, I’m immediately thinking ‘what if I have a bomb?’” 😭
The first story hit me pretty hard though for different reasons.
In a couple months is the unfortunate anniversary of the passing of my cousin. He died way too young, in his twenties, from a hit and run on his motorcycle.
Being a bit of a black sheep among my family, he was one of the few family members I could just have fun with and I looked up to him a lot despite the fact he was a bit younger than me. We didn't live in the same area and so we didn't get to spend a ton of time together, but I appreciate the memories I do have of him.
This time of year is particularly hard for me because of this as well as a few other familial tragedies that happened around this time of year, but with that pain comes the memories of good times.
I remember when he and I were both taken to one of those RV campgrounds with some of our family. I mostly had a miserable time due to how I was being treated by everyone else, but Daniel always hung out with me. I remember when we were walking around at the base of the river and on reflex he reached out and snatched a fish straight out of the water! He was shocked and super proud.
I wish I still had the photo I took of him, but I can still remember his face beaming with pride.
I'm sending you the ample love, strength, and support you deserve. I am so sorry you lost such a wonderful relative and friend. please know that although he was taken from you, he isn't completely gone, as he'll live on in the memories you shared, all the laughs you had together, and in the little habits and quirks that friends swap among each other, such as starting to use a phrase that the other uses a lot or taking up a hobby someone else tried.
it seems that your cousin made your world a brighter place, and in doing so, he gave you some of that light to keep forever. you now know that even though your other family aren't all the nicest to you, people who are truly kind, compassionate, and wise will and do treat you with the love and respect that everyone, you included, deserves.
@@projectjupiter5523 this made me tear up, thank you ❤
Omg first story is making me tear up 😭 I hope OP can let go of his guilt. He sounds like a very loving husband and father.
I got overwhelmingly emotional, too, Dustin. Thank you for sharing! 🥺❤❤❤❤❤
I'm glad I'm not the only one 😰thank you for watching!
The first story hit me. I lost my first husband when I was 21 years old because he drove drunk. As much pain as losing him caused me I was always extremely grateful he never injured anyone else in his accident. I have always been very against driving while drinking because of what it cost me and our 2 daughters. They were 2 and 4 when he died. They are now 26 and 28, both married and such amazing human beings. And there will always be a hole in my heart for their father who wasn't here for it. Driving drunk isn't worth it.
You’re not wrong about the second story people literally make movies and books about people like that it’s insane. I wish I could say I would’ve done the same but I don’t know if I could’ve. That oldest brother is the truest mvp
That first story...I will always cry over a step father doing the absolute most 😭💖
Yeah, I had to pause at 4:08 for a few minutes. That hit hard. Geez.
Hello young man, I'm old enough to be your grandma...and just recently came across your channel. Thank you from the bottom of my heart...for giving me some hope. I adore your perspective and admire your energy. I will be watching. God Bless 🙏🙏🙏
Lost one of the closest people to me from a drunk driver. His name was also Dustin, he was such a good man and I think it made his funeral harder. The first story is so sad but wholesome ❤
"tell people that he exsisted and that he did an amazing job"...yeah tears! i hope he knows the first husband must tell him the same thing. sounds to me like her picker works great. that amount of love is wonderful. im happy he can love and respect the great man who was the reason he was blessed.
I joke with my stepfather that I inherited his taste buds because I was obviously influenced by the food he made over time. He might be joking that she somehow inherited his love of gaming.
The first story has me sobbing 😭. The best thing my partner does for me is hold space to listen to me talk about my late husband. He wasn't a good man but I still loved him and often cry/laugh at the memories of him.
I've seen these stories on Reddit. Definitely restores some faith in humanity. But, IIRC, I'm pretty sure the third story was written by the mom. Hence the daughter's weird over-the-top reaction.
That's what I thought too!
I’m sobbing! Such beautiful souls out there not looking for any validation, just being absolutely phenomenal people. 💚💚💚💚💚💚
I think that it was the daughter's mother who took the boyfriend out to dinner which is why the daughter accused her of being romantically interested in her boyfriend and said that she couldn't trust her around her boyfriends now.
"tell him that other people knew he existed and did an amazing job" broke me. how many of us have wondered or feared that people would forget us if were gone? this man will never know, but he's remembered and loved. and we will be, too, no matter what happens. even if it's "just" by that kid we met during a childhood vacation and played with at the pool. the person we showed kindness without knowing they had had a bad day. the stranger we complimented on their outfit or hair or smile. kindness will be remembered.