That first one, is he saying a child should have that decor???? Because that sounds like the decor of an adult who knows what their interests and fascinations are and didn't let societal pressures force them into the drab catalogue cliche decor. Plus, endless talking points. Absolutely endless. She's an inspiration to the rest of us
Yeah he's definitely saying that her taste is childlike and he was 100% looking down on it. You can tell he has felt this for a long time and the frustration over her interests has boiled over especially now that people from his work have seen it. I don't know how you can be "in love" and this ashamed over your girlfriend's personality. Just wild.
right? anyone who judges her have an absolutely blank personality. they're boring people. it's okay to not like the decors because your personal preferences differ but to straight up call her a child or any other names intended to insult or belittle her for it is just disgusting
Even if the dog didn’t die, eating that many toxic things could cause permanent damage. My childhood dog got into a bag of dark chocolate chips that my mom left on the coffee table once, and he had issues for the rest of his life after that.
My dog drank water outside that was contaminated with blue-green algea when my parents weren't looking back when she was only 8 months old. She had 20+ seizures and stayed overnight at the vet. She recovered and is now 5 years old, but now she is prone to seizures if she gets stressed out.
I left my dog with my sister and I explicitly told her to not give my dog and table food like chicken, pork, and ham because whenever my dog has those foods she vomits and gets a fever, 3 hours later she calls me saying that my dog is vomiting after she gave me dog ham... I took her to court for it because she nearly killed my dog because she is also deathly allergic to pork which I told her about
Last Story: I audibly gasped when she said 'does it make you feel good to call me that?' I love her. Queen energy. I don't think he needs to worry about that state of anyone's privates after giving birth. After making a shitty joke like that, I don't see that being a concern for him in the future.
The fact he doubled-down and stormed away like a toddler just irks me to no end. I had already gasped at the horrible joke, but I'd have hated it less if he'd gone "sorry, intrusive thoughts, I'm sorry I was offensive", ig. I do hope he became the EX.
@@koalaeucalyptus Exactly. Everyone says something idiotic or regrettable from time to time. But the mature thing to do is think "hey, I didn't read the room" or "wrong place, wrong time, too soon" or "yeah that was really rude of me". And then you apologize and try to move on. This guy is making doubling down an extreme sport.
Lol I came home with a silly picture of a trex in a bathtub the other week and my fiancé laughed, said it was cute, and suggested a place in the bathroom to hang it. Real adults are secure enough to have fun and embrace their interests.
The second one. I would have called off the wedding, too. He never said he didn't address it. He just said he'd never bring it up in an argument. The point of the negligence coming close to ending any life would be my final straw, too.
He also doesnt need to justify leaving a relationship. Its not like they have kids or were married. There was no additional shared responsibilities between them. NO one has to stay in a relationship they dont want to be in and it doesnt matter why.
@carolbaker2773 you also shouldn't give up on a long term relationship that is typically healthy just because there's a few things wrong. You should attempt to work things out first.
@mesbalkema9996 like the initial comment says, he doesn't say it hasn't been brought up in the past. Probably why he wanted the dog put away in the first place and specifically mentioned it
@@mesbalkema9996a few things went wrong? If my partner, or any family member for that matter, was this negligent in this situation even though I had specifically given them clear instructions and they just didn't do it, I'm sorry but they simply do not care and they are definitely responsible for the outcome.
"It's understandable if you think your girlfriend's home is not suitable for a work event, but it's your hyper critial attitude that is off-putting"--he nailed it with this one
Yeah, like... I understand how it can be inappropriate to call the colleagues in her place if they're that sensitive to (admittedly) creepy decor, and wanting to shield both her and himself from possible negative judgment and arguing. But he HIMSELF is uncomfortable with it. He's uncomfortable with his own girlfriend's interests? Like, I get it, I'm a scaredy-cat, I'm sometimes frightened by a shadow casted by a cup I left on the windowsill and forgot about, and having that horrifying looking shark picture in your bathroom? No thanks, I'd forget that it's there, spot it in the corner of my eye and scream high enough to break all the glass in that place. But I'd just not date a person like that! Sure, she's probably awesome and a really interesting person to have conversations with but I'd just not be able to cohabitate. Some people aren't meant to be together and it's okay, no one has to change themselves or 'tolerate' each other and call it 'love'.
Yeah. That was exactly it. @@heilinstarling9436 Good point. I totally don't see why he thinks it's juvenile to decorate like that. He probably just convinced himself it is because he doesn't like it and that justifies him not liking it. As if justification is even needed. We don't all have to like the same things.
@@Alinor24 you know, now that I think about it, his whole "that's childish and you can't decorate your place because you're too old for that" probably stems from some childhood trauma. I can totally picture that guy getting picked on and mocked for some "childish" hobby of his, and he blocked it all out to the point where seeing other people being comfortable with their own unusual interests makes him feel uncomfortable and almost threatened. I would never know if it's true, but it'd make sence, right?
@@heilinstarling9436they weren’t even cohabitating. He was crashing at her place bc his was “under construction.” It’s not his space. He’s a GUEST there. I’m glad she found out early on that he’s embarrassed by her aesthetics & interests.
The last story: What in hell?! He made a sexist comment, tried to shut her up when she wouldn't take his BS, called her insecure (probably in lack of any arguments), left her without transportation and still thought she's the one overreacting?! Oh, hell no!
@@haileybalmer9722 yea they often talk about how they don’t know any m3n in their lives who would ever do anything harmful to wom3n. They’re the nice ones who always get friend zoned 😂
@@MBJean Ur comment is kinda weird, "the nice ones who always get friend zoned" so u are saying u friend zone nice men but like to be with idiots who treat you poorly. Obviously there are the "nice" guys that are just creepy individuals. I just don't really understand how you don't realise ur comment proves that a lot of women have poor taste in men yet complain about those men treating them bad. I'm not saying u deserve to get treated poorly but at some point u need to take some responsibility for the choices you have made.
@@shanks2872That comment was making fun of the “nice guys” who always complain that they’re “so nice” and still get friend-zoned, not realizing that they’re NOT nice and that’s why all their relationships fail. Also literally no woman wants people who will treat them badly. No PERSON wants that. Please stop parroting misogynistic talking points and try talking to a woman. Just any woman. /gen
When my husband and I got married he had a full sized movie poster of Conan the Barbarian (original movie) and another of Aliens. Those posters hung right in the middle of the wall of my country cottage living room for YEARS. Right beside his international beer bottle collection. I put them up because they were meaningful to him and never spoke a word against them. I had SO many female friends and relatives comment with disdain about the bottles and posters, but I shrugged it off. I loved him, they made him happy, and so the posters and beer bottles made me happy. We lost Aliens in an unfortunate 'toddler' accident only five years into the marriage, but we'd been married for about fifteen years when something in him snapped. One Saturday he brought home some massive boxes from U-Haul and began tossing all of his beer bottles in there. I asked what the HELL he was doing. He said, "Growing up." I managed to save the posters. We've been married for 35 years now and the Conan poster is hanging in his home gym. (I surprised him by saving up the money to put in the building. I'd already hired a concrete guy to pour the floor. The 'real' gym was a dream of his since before we were married. He works out in there every single morning.) Right now the living room has been turned into a construction zone because I've decided to remodel. I've painted one wall and I'm working on a mural I've always wanted to paint. I know the mess makes him crazy, and he's tripped over the air compressor hose several times already, but he's happy that I'm happy. We've only got one life to live. Don't be with someone who doesn't support your things and never be the reason someone sacrifices something they love. Don't be the reason someone gives up a dream. Life is just too damn short.
8:47 i've had my exes kill my animals on purpose. I immediately left them and told everybody what they did. I will never stay with anybody who has disregard for human or animal life either disrespectful vile disgusting pathetic childish. You don't deserve a relationship if you're acting like this.
My fiancée left my 1 year old, 6 lb dog in his unfenced front yard on a busy road many times. He always smiled in a peculiar way and said the dog would never go out in the road. When he called me about some obscure problem he had with me and was leaving (he did this to create drama many times), I rushed to his house (he wasn’t home) to grab the dog and all my things. He harassed me to come back for a year, I never did. It has been over 10 years, the dog is still alive, and I am grateful the dog got me out of a bad situation. Never tell a narcissist that you love something, they don’t know love, so it makes the thing you love a target of their abuse against you.
@@jet4415 Ugh I'm so sorry your fiancé was awful. I'm glad doggo is still alive thanks to you. And you're totally right about telling narcissists about what you love. I didn't have an extreme situation like some people, but growing up with someone who consistently used what I expressed appreciation/love/enjoyment of as ammo to manipulate and punish me, I learned to keep my interests to myself. For a long time afterward it was hard for me to express gratitude for anything, be affectionate, or open up about my preferences and interests. I was afraid if I was too happy about having something, it would be taken away. Thankfully with a lot of therapy I'm mostly past that.
I liked the OB response. Nice one. It is a thoroughly ick "joke", that has been around for at least four decades that I know of, so it is not even original. Just creepy sexist stuff.
can't remember where I heard it first (maybe Mama Dr Jones), but love it when the response is: "just exactly how small does it need to be for you?" - even better when holding up a pinky or pencil
@@pucamisc It's infuriating in so many ways, and one of them is that it makes sex painful, so the moron asking for it will have even less sex, and then have the nerve to whine about the consequences of his own actions-- which is historically typical of oppressors really.
The last guy. Oooooooh nelly, mister . A walking trope of "she can't take a joke" really meaning, "why can't I get away with being a sexist ahole anymore?"
If i was his girlfriend i would’ve just said very loudly but very calmly “why are you commenting about my friends vagina?!” So he learns through public ridicule
But beyond joke being sexist it's a weird joke when you know c section scars are on lower bellies, nowhere near where it would make a difference to how tight one is down there.
@@queenredfromthequeencity the joke isn’t about that. It’s about the fact that having a c-section means that she did NOT give birth v4ginally, which means her hoo-ha won’t be “stretched out” from going through labor, which is a thing some (the worst) men b*tch about.
And if she were a guy it wouldn't be too much. Bros decorate with football or baseball stuff all the time. It's so annoying that women are not allowed any interest without some dude mocking it.
@@hellionshark3197lol idk. I feel like a guy having specimens all over his house would creep me out, even though I think it's cool. And I haven't met that many guys who were over the top with sports memorabilia
Restaurant guy isn't an ahole, he's actually super helpful! By showing his true colors now, he saved her all the time she would have invested in the relationship before realizing she had to dump him.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with keeping parts of your childhood with you throughout your adult life. I'm 32 and have a life-sized Halo replica helmet on my desk right behind me right now, and a giant Halo poster that you can see in this video because I have been obsessed with the video game since I was 12 years old. Keep the glitter and rainbows comin!!
My ex wouldn’t let me hang my weird Halloween masks from old costumes on the wall in the guest room. He said it wasn’t “welcoming” 😑 that is literally the whole point. I am a spooky weirdo and obviously not hospitable. The people I want in my space won’t be upset by my decor choices. He took them down one day when I was at work and I never saw them again….. some of them were not cheap.
I'm sorry even if you were married, that is NOT ok! Great to know he's an ex! Though so sorry you had to lose your fun decor in the process. I bet they were pretty cool
“Oh it’s just a dog and it lived what the big deal?” Simple response: “what if it was our kid?” How is he now supposed to trust her with their future kids if she did something like that?
Even then, what if they didn't get lucky and the dog did die?? He told her before he left to put the dog in a safe space (bedroom), so I can't even count that as an accident. She sucks.
I agree, she’s lucky the dog lived and should realize a kid could have done the exact same thing with a different outcome. Hopefully she learned from that experience but the man sure learned not the be with her. It’s about trust as well, if I can’t trust my partner with my loved ones then it’s over
7:10, I would NEVER trust her again with a living anything! Not even a plant at that point, she doesnt seem to care enough to be responsible and anyone who puts ppl and animals at risk like that can’t be trusted with pets much less a future child. Plus, I’d likely choose a pet I’ve had for 7 years over a 4 year relationship if my partner displayed questionable behavior like that
I'm 54 years old and I at least would have sat the fiance down and talked about the issues that I had before I asked her to marry me if I was that guy. I also would have gotten someone to dog sit or taken my dog to a kennel if I knew she had done the things he said she did. But I agree with you somewhat
Exactly. Of she's this reckless with the dog, their potential future children were already in danger. How hard is it to not let a dog get poisoned with YOUR booze and edibles???
9:55 I was once told that "offence is taken, not given." I think they were trying to say its not their problem if someone is offended by their words, but what I took from it was that it doesn't matter is you didn't mean anything offensive, if they're offended, you apologise, because your intentions aren't the point. He could have just apologised for the joke and they could all move on with their lives
I would break up over the dog. What if a child had gotten into all of that? You have to be responsible for both what you're doing and what you failed to do.
Why would you trust your dog with someone who almost sets the house on fire regularly and is obviously negligent in the first place? I definitely agree that it's ESH. Also, if she is saying that she is trying, then maybe she needs to be assessed for adhd.
Last story: As someone who had a C-section. I would be pissed if my partner was making those comments on my privates after just having his kids cut opened out of me. Be even weirder and grosser for someone else in a relationship to do so. Yuck.
Speaking as someone who dumped a guy because he made fun of me for getting emotional when my mum bought me a proper vintage sextant and compass (I love nautical antiques and history) that i had always wanted for my birthday and asked why i cant be "normal", i want to be that first womans friend so badly. Your interests are your interests and you shouldnt have to feel that you need to hide your light under a bushel.
then don’t push for honesty.. he tried to just respectfully pass on hosting. she pushed, so he was honest with her.. i think he is pretty normal for finding bugs all over her wall to be creepy and uncomfortable for many guests he’d want to host.. with that said, it is her place. he didn’t ask her to change though.. he simply said, “i don’t like that stuff. it makes people feel uncomfortable.. so i just don’t want to host people here.” you’re allowed to like what you like.. but if it’s something particularly niche that also creeps the average person out, then you may have to decide how important it is to you to keep displaying that stuff.. maybe she just needs to find mister bug man. ya know? someone who shares her interest because most folks won’t.
I guarantee if a guy friend got that gift he’d be supportive, I so suspect that it’s you deviating from “”feminine interests”” that has his incel butt upset
6:59 i’m pretty sure dogs just have healing powers because one time my dog ate a whole SHARE SIZED BAG (the weird ziplock bag kind) of m&m’s that my own mother left open on her nightstand. (Don’t worry, he puked it all up and he’s still kicking to this day!, he’s very healthy now!) also: he is a chihuahua for size reference.
Work in vet med. Let’s talk about how expensive it probably was to save that dog! Likely a $10000 vet bill. Also “you’re gonna leave her after 4 years?” Umm the dog has been his ride or die for 7years.
It wasn't the dog, it was the culmination of lot of things and the dog was the last straw. I'll put up with a lot of things but put my puppers in danger because of your negligence? I wouldn't care if it was the eve of the wedding, it would be off. At least he woke up and smelled the coffee before it was too late.
@@LaeLiHeart I once had someone I was very much in love with about to move in until they said "Of course you'll have to get rid of the dog". I've never broken up with anyone so fast in my life. Oh no, not happening. I can get another boyfriend, I can't get another Rosie!! I made a promise to a baby small enough to fit in my hand that I would love and care for her until she drew her last breath. And I kept that promise. She died peacefully in her sleep early last year as an old lady and I miss her every day. The ex not so much 😁
@@adelucas4824Totally makes sense to me. I'd drop a partner so fast for my Georgie girl. I think at the end of the day it comes down to morals and lifestyle differences. I adore animals. I will always want pets in my life. If my partner disagrees or I find out they're in fact a danger to my pets, then we have irreconcilable differences and I simply could not date them.
@@adelucas4824 I would do the same for my pets, but I have trouble believing this is a case of negligence during the party if this dudes dog was so destructive and/or desperate that it would sit there lapping up alcohol... Like the candies I get, it happens all the time even to decent owners, but the dog was drunk?? Training your animals is not just for the owners benefit, it's for the fur babies on safety first and foremost!!
The man who left his fiance over almost killing his dog, is absolutely right to. Some friends, and I, were in a car, with a woman who constantly got in car accidents, and sure enough, we got in one. The crash was the loudest noise I've ever heard in my life. It was so shocking. The saddest thing was, that in the other car, a child of about 5 was there. He was bawling his eyes out, and I felt so, so, so bad for this kid. This woman needed to be stopped. I'm not surprised if it happened all throughout her life. Seriously though, in school, she was voted worst driver. I agree, that the man in the subreddit, should've expressed his concerns earlier. That's on him, but I absolutely agree with his decision to leave. This level of negligence is already serious with a dog. What will she do with her children?
I would literally be triggered to psychosis by a bug wall. So I can see the problem here. Everyone is siding against her because they think bugs are cool. No, he can't just invite work people over to her place if these are her hobbies and interests lol what an insane take from this comment section.
@@TehilahFirewind you're completely missing the point. If anyone would have phobia, He could just politely say "my colleague has phobia of insects", that's normal and mature way. Just because you're a crybaby about few dead bugs, doesn't mean everyone is. The dude was degradatory to her and about her hobbies, why being with someone who yoh look down to? Oh yeah, cuz you're toxic, gotcha. Toxic people and manipulators dont like individuality. (You not Meaning literal you, before you accuse me of calling you, TehilahFirewind toxic) Everything can be talked through as adults in peace and with respect. He had none for her in her own home. She was kind enough to let him stay at her place only for him to complain like He Is some sort of royalty. Sounds like choosing beggar to me.
@@naiteiruakuma2261 maybe he doesn't know lol have you worked in a real workplace? You don't talk about health issues. The point is it's unprofessional, he tried to dodge putting her into this position, she pressed him, so he gave his opinion. He thinks living in a space like this is childish, so what? Then she gets mad at him. She is obviously insecure. Also, people who do childish things do that because they were denied their childhood. It's a sign of trauma
@@TehilahFirewind lmfao i love internet armchair psychologists such as yourself, you're a good laugh. Afaik handdrawn animation isnt childish thing, Its an art and saying Its trauma Is So ridiculous. And She isnt insecure, she just doesn't want to be ridiculed for what she likes by her partner who degrades it after being allowed do stay there. Again, chosing beggar. At that point i would just Tell jim to get a hotel if He doesn't like the place lol. You just sound like someone who doesn't Believe woman can be in a right. You demonize her so much. And when it comes to you whining about this entire comment section, remember this saying. "When i meet one asshole in a day, they Are He asshole, if everyone Is an asshole ..maybe i am the asshole." Might be an explanation why everyone seems Wrong to you
Years ago, I went out with a guy who revealed he was a smoker, I don't smoke and don't want to date a smoker. So he quit smoking but started vaping with the intent to quit that too. He wouldn't vape around me because it bothered my lungs and I would start coughing. I had several senior rescue Boxers at the time and explained to him that I didn't EVER smoke/vape in my home, or use aerosols, perfume, scented detergent, chemical cleaners, etc because I have a sensitive olfactory system and dogs have an extremely sensitive olfactory system. I respect my dog's comfort and don't upset their home with unnecessary chemicals/scents. Explicitly stating, NO VAPING/SMOKING IN MY HOME. 3 months after we started dating, things were going well, so he took me to meet his parents and we announced that we were officially dating. We went back to my house and I caught him vaping in my bathroom with the door open, complete smoke out..... I broke up with him and immediately kicked him out of my home. NO CONTACT. If someone disrespects you by doing something you stated is unacceptable for you. Don't waste your time or theirs by trying to force a square peg into a round hole. That kind of disrespect will never just be that one thing, it will be everything. 🚩🚩🚩
OP's family in the second story reminds me how my elementary school told my mom that my dog passing away hours before I had to leave for school was not a suitable excuse to be "skipping."
That's exactly what my school did when I arrived LATE to school because I found my cat dead and had to bury him before we left. We held a small funeral for him and then still went to school, but they were mad at me and my siblings for being late over a "dumb cat."
@@Liam_washere nawh my mom would have been coming to raise hell if my school had done that. Luckily all the people who worked at my school were really sweet but there would have been metaphorical blood.
@riverpubby lmao atleast my homeroom teacher let me draw during my main classes and gave me a freebie on homework that week. My mom did go to the school the next day and most likely cussed the principal out for what happened but im not %100 sure
The fact that nobody took the guy's side when she almost got one of his most precious companions killed out of a stupid irresponsible act is ABSOLUTELY INSANE. MAN please get yourself better friends and either have your family figure their fucking priorities out or distance yourself. She almost took an animal's life, THE LINE HAS BEEN DRAWN.
Thank you, I hate when people act as if animals lives aren't as precious as human lives. Like, anyone's life is only as precious as we care about them, he cared deeply about the dog, therefor the dogs life is precious to him.
While i love my dogs people and the relationship between them are more important than one with an animal. If it was an accident than i understand, if it a pattern of being unresponisble and putting others and other live in danger I see he reasoning, and maybe the other people just see the one incident. They all have a different percpective and thats what they are responding from so its quite understandable. He was almost going to marry the woman, leaving her over the almost accidental death of a dog is questionable to most with out all the context.
@@user-eu1rh2nm8jdudes not saying that his decision was questionable- he's saying that maybe the op's family thought it so bc they didn't have all the context.
@1:32 I literally want to know who his girlfriend is so I can know where her oddities shops are. She has so many unique collectors pieces and sounds like she is super into her hobbies, How boring do you have to be to not at least be fascinated with her collections.
YOURE SO RIGHT. She’s probably really sweet :( and if people did come over they would probably really enjoy the decor once she got to talking about it.
Only reason I voted NTA anyways was initially because he didn't even touch the decor, but now, it's also because the tarantulas, etc. part of the decor could be nightmare-inducing (I think this because I'm arachnophobic. OP having these opinions about her home decor might mean he's arachnophobic too. You judging him for having these opinions about her home decor is hella disrespectful and hella disgusting. Everyone can have their own opinions.).
I put NTA anyways because he: 1. He didn't even touch the decor. 2. He might be arachnophobic (Talking about the tarantulas, etc. part of the decor). 3. It's his opinion. You judging him for having it is hella disrespectful and disgusts me.
@@maxblanco1658bro did you even listen to the post?? he belittled his girlfriend because of her choice of decor, even going so far as too imply that it’s childish. he was obviously being an asshole. 🤨
I have never, EVER heard a story about a woman saying a grown man shouldn't have a wall for his videogames or his cars or action figures. The only time I read a story like that, the dude had Teddy Bears (which is considered feminine). So we all know what this truly is about. I hate the notion that women's apartments should look like a dentist's reception bc every hobby we have is judged like a crime
Nah tbf I’ve seen plenty. Not only displays, but even spending time doing “boyish” hobbies like video games or sports simulations or race cars is considered juvenile by some women. I’ve seen plenty of discussions of women who are discussing whether to leave their partner if they don’t quit video games. And this isn’t a case of video game addiction-they just think that playing computer games or trains or anything like that isn’t productive or mature enough,
BS I've heard and seen loads of women roasting men for action figures. If he didnt like her vibe just break it off. Dont try to change the other person but be honest for the reason why.
@@TumblinWeeds I think the only time I did not want my bf play a videogame is specifically Seige because he gets too upset over it. With yelling, screaming, and cursing to the point it upsets the pets and I'm worried about a noise complaint from the neighbors (renting an apartment). And personally I find it kind of scary, but he doesn't play Seige a lot.
Just last week, saw a story where she put all his "junk" into storage and "gave" him an "adult" office that he could be "proud" of. Reddit shredded her, she got the stuff back from storage and went to therapy. One woman managed to get reddit on her side by labeling her husband as a hoarder because his "toys" left his office space when he put up shelves in the hallway to display more figures. Pro-ahole tip: reddit defends collectors, but crucifies hoarders, and can't tell the difference without pictures! Another woman was throwing tantrums because her adult son was wearing Spider-man underwear, and he's too old for that. (Reddit told her to stop obsessing about her son's underwear.) Another woman did the same about wearing character tshirts. Two sets of parents had a meltdown because their adult children wanted to name their baby Anthony-- which is a very normal name but also an Ironman reference because they are Marvel fans. Seriously, our elders associate adulthood with unhappy marriages, unhappy jobs, boring office gossip, alcohol and cigarettes. The tide has turned to "I have the freedom to keep doing what I loved as a kid" and the resistance is ugly. But I'm 40 now, and you'll never take Batman from me. 🦇
So many of the AITA couple stories boil down to somebody just truly not realizing that they don’t like their partner. If their interests, hobbies, personality, or job drive you so insane that you want to change them, then you don’t like THEM. You like who you think they COULD be. It’s one thing to be annoyed by bad habits - we have to make allowances for people we love, which sometimes means accepting a request to change a PROBLEM behavior. But if you hate that I’m outgoing, hate that I love the color pink, etc. then go find someone else.
yeah but you legit only see husbands and wives on tv having issues with each other, never *anyone* explicitly dating unless you're watching a drama, in which case it is always *cheating* instead. Never just basic incompatibility.
To me it seemed like he had an opinion and wasn't comfortable bringing work folks around her house and she lost it at him for those reasons. I am surprised more people aren't saying something similar here. I mean, he can think it's childish and respect that she likes it. He never really made any effort to have her take it down before this, as far as we know. He just told her "I think it's not appropriate for work folks because reasons" and she got mad at him and everything that followed sounded like him responding to her hostility, honestly. I don't think the first story is being seen fairly here.
Whenever gossip spreads like wildfire and then the family attacks the person who broke things off with their fiancée I always think, “Man you don’t want to join that family anywhere.”
A cousin of mine broke off the wedding just days before the event. Me and a whole other bunch of family flew to the destination wedding and 2 days before, we were told it was not happening. I never once had a go at my cousin, he did the right thing. Some family was upset and trying to convince him to “go through with it” because of all the expenses and travel….which to me is just WILDLY INAPPROPRIATE! Trying to guilt someone into a lifelong commitment just because you feel you’re owed a wedding due to spending monies is outrageous
@@zcgbd32one of my coworkers broke up his engagement a week before the wedding, he knew 2 years before he didnt want to marry her. Thats the issue. Many of these people know way in advance but literally can only tell the other person at the final hour
Second story, OP is ABSOLUTELY NOT the AH. It is unfortunate that OP took so long to realize she was a huge red flag, and didn't even apologize when she almost got his dog killed. That is a 100% valid reason to break up, no matter how far into the relationship they were!
Dog guy. The context/history of behaviour was everything. Pet peeve of mine: people using ‘frustrated’ to describe when they are boiling with rage, flipping out, passive aggressive, etc.
Considering his family is trying to get him to ignore this huge red flag, I’m starting to see why the earlier obvious red flags were not visible to him
@@Art_museum28 Nah dude, without the history of behavior, this event would be an accident that could happen to anyone. Animals getting into stuff they shouldn't eat is a very common cause of vet expenses. So if he's been bottling this up and only told his family this one event then they are right to question him. To them it just seems like he's retroactively excusing an overreaction.
@@DemonstaI'm sorry, but if he's clearly told her to keep the dog away from the party (and therefore the harmful stuff), it's absolutely on her. Additionally putting stuff the dog is not supposed to get into in places where the dog will easily get into the (low coffee tables and stuff, basically the perfect eating height for a dog that size) is absolutely on her it's common knowledge (for people who know dogs) that most dogs will see this as an opportunity. And it's not just anything the fog got into either, it's alcohol and chocolate edibles, three things combined that are INCREDIBLY harmful for a dog and NEED to be kept far out of reach
@Demonsta I agree with the guy who previously responded to you. The issue here is more that the guy trusted his fiance (which is okay to do) with his pet, and he gave instructions on how to care for that pet, (he told her to put the dog in a separate room when the party starts) and she chose not to. I have pets. I used to have a bunch more than I do now. I can't even trust my sibling to put the right amount of bedding in the rat enclosures. It's hard to trust someone with your pet. It's so hard to trust someone again AFTER they broke your trust about an animal that you gave clear instructions on how to care for. She was absolutely wrong for what she did. was it an accident, Sure. But was in her fault? Yes. Was she responsible for the pet in the household at that time? Yes. It's the same as babysitting. If he had left his child with her and told her to put the kid to bed by a certain time, all to find out his child got hospitalized due to his partner not watching the child resulting in the consumption on toxic products. She was wrong to have not put the dog away, it even more wrong for not keeping an eye on the animal. You are absolutely right that it's normal for dogs to do this behavior of finding and eating things. But. She was responsible for stopping him from doing it. Again same with the child, they naturally grab things. Everyone knows that. But it is STILL the parent or guardians job and responsibility to keep an eye on that child and prevent them from grabbing something dangerous. Natural for them or not, it's the guardians who's responsibility is to watch them.
7:50 this is why nobody should judge others for calling off a wedding or breaking an engagement. You don't know what the relationship entails. I would so much rather be an a whole for a little bit of time than spend my life with someone who *constantly* makes me worry unnecessarily.
I kinda get why the first redflag boyfriend would want to avoid bringing his colleagues to his gf's place if it put someone unconfortable from work previously. BUT. This is not about having 'strange' or 'immature' taste. If he thinks that, it's because he dislikes her home but is not honest about it. Leave her alone and stay in your boring shade of gray colored flat !
Yeah that part I do understand, which I mentioned briefly but probably should've talked about more. That is understandable by itself, because it could be a distraction to people who come over and it could make his girlfriend feel uncomfortable if she notices other people's discomfort. It's the judgmental attitude that he has about his girlfriend's interests, his obvious embarrassment that he has towards her interests, and his clear attempt at bashing her for them. That's incredibly odd and it's confusing because why would you wanna be with someone if you're this irritated by their personality and interests?
Counter point as someone who's always had "the weird house," since my mum is odd (read: audhd) like me lmao. Just...be upfront about it. You can just be the quirky weirdos. Like hey y'all are welcome but fyi our decor features dead insects! Just give a head's up, and then own that shit. Usually people will then kinda embrace it and show up like they're going to a museum. They'll still talk about how weird things are, but then y'all can just...hang out and be normal, maybe talk about the weird decor. Someone goes to the bathroom and comes back talking about the weird shark and you get to tell them what a goblin shark is. Like i get appearance and wanting to make a good impression, but i disagree with the narrative that weirdness can't be a good impression. But also like. I'm not trynna force my opinions on you or anyone else!!!! You're valid!!! Just like, different pov for you, from a certified weirdo!!
@chickenanon Countrr counter point (as someone with ADHD but also in a profession that has similar standards), while I LOVE this approach personally, unfortunately depending on the field isn't just not realistic 😕. There's some fields that are REALLY big on conformity, especially if you're the low-man on the totem pole. Which sucks. Cuz it absolutely shouldn't be this big of an issue, but some fields something like that could end up shooting yourself in the foot.
Sounds like a skill issue--jkjk no but like. Like i get sometimes circumstances are crazy. But if your job is controlling your home life? Fuck that job. Like i respect the grind, i know we gotta eat. But as the only person I've seen in miniskirts in this entire town in the past 5 years? Fuck the haters man. If i lose my job over having a cool house?????? Are you kidding me? They can die mad lmao. Live your best life, i ain't trynna tell you what to do. But like, home/work separation, you feel me? @MissPuppy468
For the one with the negligent girlfriend that almost killed the dog; it might not be a case of OP not saying anything to anyone for 4 years, it might be a case of its finally obvious and in his face that she could very well get someone killed because she almost did finally. Its like when you know the oven is hot because you turned it on but you go about doing things any forget your oven mit for the .00002 seconds it takes to burn the tip of your finger, then you remember the hot oven is hot. Brains are good at ignoring the little things until the little things metaphotically bite them
To me it looked like OP realized WHILE writing the post because he’d never listed out all the things she’d done before. To me it looks like someone who just didn’t put together the separate instances until just now.
But he literally never said anything until it was time for him to host the event. He said that several people had come over and been confused about the decoration, and its not his taste, but he literally never asked her to change anything as he clearly didnt care. He knows its her space. Then she got upset and said "ill decorate the space how i want" After SHE asked why he didnt want people coming over and he told her what OTHERS have said, not his personal opinion. He made it clear that her decorations are not his taste, but that's hardly judgemental.
@@fatalposiie umm, he did outright say something judgeful about it tho🤨🤨. when she confronted him about why he didn’t want to host at her place he said her decor was strange and not how a grown woman should decorate. did you even listen to the story??
"this isn't even about the dog." I'm a 28 year old female and if my fiance carelessly let my dog eat edibles and drink beer, making her sick, I would 110% break up with him. That is not the kind of person I want to be with. My dog might as well be my child. Only an extremely neglectful, careless person would allow a human child to have access to alcohol and edibles. Why is it less reprehensible with a dog? It would have to have been a really weird, freak accident for me to not break up with someone over this. This guy might be a red flag in some way but I don't blame him for breaking up with her over the dog thing, especially if she has shown this kind of carelessness before... What sends up red flags for me is his "this isn't even about the dog" part. I get his point, but I would risk life and limb to save my dog from harm, so how is it not about the dog? I get that it would not be ONLY about the dog... But for me the dog's safety is the biggest issue in this situation. If I couldn't trust my partner to keep my dog safe when I'm not around (obviously allowing for freak accidents and things out of his control), then I don't want him as a partner. 🤷🏼♀️
Exactly! Like what are they doing while you're asleep or at work that could potentially cost you your animal's life and potentially all of your belonging or even your partner's life? Your life even if something happens while you're home. I can't handle people who are careless like that.
As someone who thinks people go way too batshit crazy over animals online, even I agree with the dude here. That level of negligence is unforgivable, the poor dog must’ve felt horrible and he nearly died.
Ngl i think the only reason he said "its not even about the dog" is because everyone in his personal life is getting mad at him for leaving her over the dog. So he feels he has to justify it by also bringing up his other issues. Cause they all probably made him feel like the asshole and when he realized that hurting his dog was the final straw, he left her, but still has to justify it mentally for himself. Often when you're in a situation where no one os on your side and everyone is ganging up on you, you get lax on your own viewpoints. Thats why mob mentality and mass hysteria and the likes are so effective.
I am almost 50 and would totally decorate with dinosaurs rn if I had the extra income for it. I haven ever cared whether people like what I like. I've put up with my husband's stuffed marlin, he can deal with my stuff lol
Story #1: All he had to do was tell his colleagues that his home was unavailable and switch with someone else - and not bring his GF into the equation. He is using the work-happy hour situation as an excuse to complain about his GF and looking for validation for his dislike of her decor, making him the AH. And, go girl, decorate however you want.
I'm a little confused about that story. I think he's an AH for his blatant disregard of his GF, the fact that he clearly doesn't love or respect her... But he literally DID just try to switch with someone else. She pushed the issue. He said he was going to skip, but she continued to press him. I don't think he was going to say anything until he felt backed into a corner by her. I don't think his opinions are less AH-y, but I don't think he set out to have the conversation with her and I feel he ought to be cleared at the very least on that front.
@SliceofSimple I thought about n that as well but then Dog story happened and I wondered how long would Embarrassed Boyfriend continue to be silent. What if they decided to move in together (or worse, get married before they moved in together)? Would he still keep his “serious grownup” looking apartment for after work parties? Would her things slowly disappear to storage/the trash? It’s best they figure this stuff out now instead of ignoring it.
@@SliceofSimple i personally wouldn’t feel comfortable going into her house goblin sharks creep ME OUT but that’s my issue and i’m allowed to not go in there, i am NOT allowed to tell her it’s weird or wrong or anything that she should remove or change i don’t like people saying my room needs changing cause it mine so why would i do that to her
@@LaeLiHeart Yeah, that kind of goes away when you're considering a professional gathering. If you bring your coworkers to your house and surprise! your house is a halloween haunted house, you might suffer serious consequences over time. Not having a friendly space for people to come over to is kind of a red flag. This is more about the insect wall and the goblin shark than the animation, though, tbh, being interested in animation is becoming more and more of a red flag due to the association between animation and creeps. Why not take some stuff down for one evening? I frequently move stuff in my apartment to my room if I don't want my guests to see it/it would be in the way (Like my dog's bed or my art projects.) It doesn't mean I love my dog less, it means I want my guests to be comfortable and have space to be themselves. Like what if one of the professional guests was arachnophobic and was surprised by the insect wall, had a panic attack? They're both red flags here, IMHO.
@@pensandshakersI think the way he went about it was wrong. But they aren't red flags for having very different lives and interests. They're just incompatible. It is a red flag that he wasn't going to bring it up and continue on with the relationship, if the understanding of the relationship was that it was going to progress to marriage/space sharing. He was wasting her time, or hoping to change her. Neither is appropriate, unless she expressed the desire for such (she expressed the exact opposite). Her lifestyle works for her and her interests. She's not doing anything wrong by existing on her own. If he had brought it up under a no stress conversation, that would have been different; though it would have still resulted in the obvious fact they're incompatible long term... But he was actively trying to guilt her into it. Otherwise he wouldn't have brought it up at all, spared her feelings, and found a way to make it work without forcing her to change her lifestyle for him. He needs a vanilla lady, if that's what he wants to present to his colleagues. She isn't that. Shaming her is childish.
As an autistic person, I am happy I don't do things that make people wonder if I am mentally handicapped like get angry about not having work folks in an inappropriate environment lol but that's me
I like watching a 32 year old man running around with a red flag. Still loving these long form vids, and sooo grateful for the captions! Having apd makes it so I very much rely on them, yay for accessibility!
If anyone put my dog in that situation after being told to lock him up, I’d call it off too. Your dog isn’t just a dog. He’s your baby. You should have talked to people about it before, but better not get married now, than an expensive divorce.
What also gets me about that story is her being into animation. The first cartoons that were produced weren't by any stretch of the imagination meant for kids, not to mention that many animated shows to this day aren't necessarily for kids.
Finally, someone who knows the history of animation. I agree. They were meant for adult eyes. Just because something is animated doesn't automatically mean it's meant for kids.
@@rabbit0664 I mean when I look at some of the old Merry Melodies I remember jokes flying over my head as a kid, but getting them as a teen or younger adult.
@@DespairDoctor True true. Not to mention on top of that some of the earlier cartoons were shown in-between news about the war in theaters. Then it goes further back where they were used in peep shows.
And even if she *did* like children's animation (wich I highly doubt based on the other décor), that still wouldn't warrant this kind of condescension, ESPECIALLY not from her partner.
So that dog could have longterm health issues from the alcohaul, edibles and chocolate it ingested. Just because the dog survived, doesnt mean its healthy
As a professional tax accountant, if I went over to someone's house with the decorations that the first story's girlfriend had, I would have thought the house was super cool. You being an insecure little nitwit is exactly why people think that professionals in finance/accounting are sticks in the mud. She has interests that don't revolve around you! That is very baller my guy. Hope she finds someone that sees her sparkle, as you obviously don't.
Given he mentioned her job is high paying only the cross over of high paying female job that date finance bros, my guess is she is a tax accountant too.
"When I grew up, I put away childish things - such as the fear of being seen as childish and the need to be very grown up" - a line from C.S. Lewis that seems like O.P. of first story should ruminate on.
I’m sure he does have one, and is now getting completely unnecessary work done to try and impress his coworkers (like a gold toilet and marble sinks or some other nonsense). The business card scene from American Psycho is a good example of the finance culture
The last one is one of those "hey it was just a joke!!" type of sexist comment situations where it's absolutely not okay. Good on her for not letting it slide and confronting him about it
I mean this in the most polite respectful way I can muster, as a 15 year old cis and straight girl… holy shit, muscle mommy, your girlfriend is so cool 3:54
Story 2: Disagree on the red flag - he clearly asked her to keep the dog safe, she didn’t, and then she couldn’t even own up to what she did when he found out - the friends had to tell him what happened. Would it have been worse if he wasted everyone’s time after the wedding due to an annulment or a divorce? You can return suits, and cancel flights, but you can’t undue a horrible marriage.
He is the difference type of red flag, he is like Anne from amphibia. The toxic kindness, the one who don't tell other their concern and let the red flag build up until it burst. I'm glad he finally stand up, but he need to learn to communicate and stand by for now on. That way, his life would be on the safe ground with his dog :3
tbh as someone who has pet sit a lot it sounds like she overestimated how well trained his dog is. Most people think it's ok to put food on a table, that's what tables are for. Training your pet is for the pets benefit and safety, not the owners convenience. She fucked up but he is also responsible for failing to train his dog, as well as leaving it alone with someone he claims to have known all along was this negligent. He is an AH to the dog, and to everyone he inconvenienced by planning and cancelling a wedding with someone he says has always been like this.
@@DemonstaI mean, ngl, some dog breeds are much harder to train to leave food, especially when it's at perfect eating height no one is paying attention. Some breeds are going to get into food in such a situation no matter how well trained they are. Yes, if he really felt this uneasy about he negligent behaviour, he shouldn't have left the dog with her, but I can also say from personal experience that sometimes it can be quite easy to push feelings of unease about certain things away for the sake of other factors (like maybe they did get along really well outside of her reckless behaviour, probably if they were engaged). So I feel like it's pretty unfair to call him an AH for first planning and then cancelling the wedding (or inconveniencing others with it) is pretty harsh
@@tezzanoia Labs are one of those breeds. They were bred to be highly food motivated as it makes them easier to train. It also makes them more susceptible to obesity. There was no way a less than impeccably trained lab was not going to go for the food.
@@elfdragon1227or American Bulldogs, who would sleep it off and be fine, or puggles who are prone to endocrine disorders, the list goes on. The idea that the DOG should have known the food contained edibles is insane lol
I am 38, and my husband is 36, and we have a large Zelda poster over one wall of our dining room, and then a huge dragon mural on the other(we play DnD). That's just the tip of the iceberg. It's important to nurture your inner child. And no, you fuck with my cat, I will hold you under water until the bubbles stop. Lol, sorry, but that second story enraged me.
My husband and I just turned 36 this year. We have a long entryway in our house that has framed posters along one way - Dr. Who, Star Trek, Pokemon, HP, Tron, and other geeky stuff. My in-laws (also total nerds) were over recently and my FIL made a comment about the "weird pictures". I asked what was weird about them; they're some of his favorite shows too (okay, maybe not the Pokemon one). He said, "It's weird you'd show people that. Your office makes sense, but not the entryway." I said I was using it as a warning - "Turn back now! Unapologetic geeks ahead!" If people don't like it, the door is *right there* and they can leave.
I would know from your choice of decor that we would not get along, personally. That to me is just signaling unresolved childhood trauma. Like playing it is one thing. Decorating with it is another. It is childish, I actually agree here. A POSTER lol like actual children. Is it framed? I guess it's different if it's tasteful?
@@TehilahFirewind bahahah, ok Freud😆 Or maybe we are just nerds and like to have fun. Also, we aren't judgmental pricks 😁 And I'm not worried about getting along with you, your judgemental personality and snobbishness tells me we REALLY wouldn't get along!
@@lizthedisjointedzebra692 it's not really judgmental, I mean, psychology isn't judgmental. People get stuck at all sorts of ages for all kinds of reasons. I would never judge someone for hanging whatever they want in their own home. I can tell we wouldn't get along, though. I have had too many bad experiences with people who do this kind of thing and speak like you. I'm too old to put up with it. I need to just start saying no to people who haven't and can't seem to grow up. And that's just a passing thought I had from being on this thread today, and seeing how for instance you reacted to this video.
Dustin your reaction to the apartment ahole is so sweet, wholesome & awesome. This is why I trust you enough to recommend you to my Mom & favorite Great Aunt.
I have a couple comments here! First story - I live in a house with frog art on the right and otters on the left, and all kinds of Disney stuff in between. We love our life and if people come over and think it is strange then so what! Second story, this is a tale from my parents. They once had a rousing New Years Eve party wherein the alcohol was spilled. The dog apparently licked it up and had a major hangover the next day. It was an accident of youth! But I agree with you that if she is this careless with her actions, he really should have addressed it before the wedding. Last one...he is lucky she didn't call all her friends to whack him in the you-know-whats with a wiffle ball bat. Okay...said my side. FYI - you are awesome!
Story 2. He's absolutely right to break up with her. Dog is essentially a little kid. What if they had a child and the child ended up in a similar situation??? Especially considering she's quite careless as author says after the story. I would NOT want someone this careless to be around me and to put themselves and others in dangerous situations, especially pets and children.
I was about to comment the same thing! I mean, I'd hope you wouldn't be having this type of party with kids or locking them in the bedroom, of course, but the point still stands. Also, his family and friends not understanding this are also red flags. Hopefully, with time, they will come to understand. I'm sure the initial shock of it and it being "just a dog," which I don't agree with, is their reasoning. Overall, she just sounds very childish and irresponsible. I do not blame him.
No, you suckered for narcissistic reasoning? Would you leave your fur baby alone without you with drunk strangers, one who knows reaction, one bite, put down risk, two, drunk people smoke, let dog out by accident, let alone clearly, had a dog once who would drink scotch people left in cocktail glass, realized dogs shouldn't be at a party, booze is at... so HE is the one with no accountability, he could've taken dog, let them relax and party, dog spa, relatives...it's one night...He shouldn't have children with anyone EVER
@@tinmaddog7 he had some trust in his gf, which, well, you're supposed to trust your partner, hence leaving the dog to her counting on her being responsible. So he might be guilty but only for trusting his partner who had proven to be untrustworthy, which in turn isn't that much of his fault.
@@tinmaddog7This was supposed to be his wife and mother of his kids, btw. How the heck is it narcisistic to expect better? This is a literal "one job"-moment.
Honestly, I think he was looking for a reason to cut her loose. This emergency situation with the dog was his way out and good for him. She clearly wasn't ready to be in an adult relationship. However, how he ended things was terrible. He didn't even bother to have a conversation. How does he expect to maintain a relationship if he's unwilling to share his concerns?
For the first one: i would understand saying that he wouldn't want his work colleagues to come because he was worried that his colleagues might say something about the decor and maybe hurt his gf's feelings or something like that. For example, if he had said something in the post that he loved her decor but knew how others might not like it, i would maybe understand him a bit more. But he was rude, talking about her during the whole time, so it's clear that he doesn't even really love her for her.
Exactly! Its the condescension with which he says it. The way he looks down on her for having these interests and displaying them in this manner.🚩 Not wanting to bring guests over was fine. The way he consistently states that she is childish and that "grown women" do not decorate like she does? That was completely unacceptable and shows a disrespect for her as a 'real' adult woman. A woman who likes what she likes.🚩 He could have had that conversation in a green flag way, but he didnt. He just shows that he thinks she needs to "grow up" and be more serious. 🚩 (Also apparently he was raised by parents who think only adults on The Spectrum are enthusiastic about hobbies. So thats kinda sad for him. What a boring world.🏳)
Subscribed! My ex-husband was a Man-child just like AITA #3 - he was offended whilst picking me up from work and drove off without me AND OUR 6-MONTH OLD CHILD who was in daycare. I had to get a ride from a friend, get a carseat from another friend, go pick up the baby and then get home. He had no remorse and called me selfish. Good call Dustin - this is the ultimate in Red Flag behavior.
I can understand that first story. My SA has my interests secluded to a corner of our home because it’s not “adult enough.” I’ve always felt like she looks down on me because of this but I love her so I just try to ignore it. It does hurt that it took almost 7 years to have my own corner of the house.
I have a dog and I'm a 100% with that guy. I understand freak accidents happen, so when I first read the title I was like... I need context. But this was pure negligence and incredibly irresponsible on her part. My dog is everything to me. And if they want kids in the future is she going to treat the kids that way too? For me it would also be the last straw. I would never be able to trust her with my dog again. That is not someone I would want to build my life with.
My lounge has a collection of Star Wars paintings by an artist who paints with tea & alcohol. My throw blankets for the sofa are also Star Wars. My sister & I are waiting for my nephew to move out of her apartment (he’s a 25 year old accountant!) as we want his room as a LEGO room. We have a number of items to build, the last thing was a birthday present for her which was the cantina on Tatooine. ⭐️
The paintings and throws are fine. The legos, unless it's like a museum or show room, will be seen as childish. None of these hobbies would cause a health crisis in someone with a phobia of bugs like me, however, so I'd still invite work folks over to a house like yours. I assume you stated this to hear how folks compare it to the initial example, pardon me if not.
I don't think that's a red flag at all. In fact, that's the smart thing to do. His fiance had a consistent and blatant disregard for human and animal life and that's honestly scary. But I think him refusing to address it with her or even talk about it with any family members or friends is inconsiderate -- especially considering everyone bought suits, flights, helped pay for the wedding, bought wedding gifts, etc. I think it was pretty telling that everyone was blindsided by this and no one was on his side. He just didn't address it and he still proposed 6 months prior, despite knowing that his fiance had this glaring red flag in her personality and hadn't talked to her about it. That's why I gave them both one.
I think it's weird to assume he didn't address this with her in the past. I think that's why he explicitly told her to put the dog away. Just because he said he doesn't bring it up in a fight, doesn't mean he hasn't ever expressed his concerns to her outside a verbal altercation. But that's just me. Either way. He's not a red flag at all to me especially lacking any context on how he has addressed things when catching her texting and driving/ setting shit on fire on the stove. Those incidents did happen and I'm willing to bet he probably tried to address her carelessness then, and just isn't willing to rehash it again when arguing.
@@DustinPoynterVideosGotta disagree. He gave her the benefit of the doubt until he couldn't deny any longer that she wasn't capable of change. I wouldn't fault someone for a last-minute epiphany like that, even if it sucked for me personally. I just ALWAYS find it icky when someone is blamed for staying in a relationship where the other person does bad things. it's victim-blamey.
@@Errenium very much this! It's easy to have a 'they'll grow out of this' kind of mindset and essentially understanding that someone's doing something bad but not really recognizing that it's an issue until something really bad happens, because you basically think that you can teach them to be better. I think that's exactly what this guy was trying to do by telling her to out the dog away and not just saying something like 'make sure you watch him', like he wanted to keep the dog in a safe place because yes party bad for dog, but also because she's not trusted to watch the dog during the party. If any of that makes sense 😵
That first Story: 👏DON'T👏LET👏OTHERS👏DULL👏YOUR👏SHINE!!!👏 OP sounds like they have a personality akin to dry toast. The Girlfriend's house sounds AWESOME! I'm currently making A Giant bead lizard wall art, a fully bedazzled worm on a string chandelier, and looking for ways to find a way to put spongebob flower clouds all over my wardrobe to name a few Decor things i'm doing. If my style bothers anyone, they don't deserve my time of day. 💖
My rooms fulled with trinkets and nick nacks that I like or find cool or even that makes me happy, like the skeleton hand sand timer or even the porcelain doll that looks similar to me. If you don’t like it, leave, your not the kinda person I wanna have in my life anyways ya know?
Me: this place is so sick (dry wretches in arachnophobia), really really cool decor 🤢 oh gods above, why did I look at the bird eater?! May I be excused? (Stares at goblin shark in awe). Honestly, the bathroom is preferable to the rest of the house. I might stay in here for a bit...
Thank you for standing up for creative people. I like being odd in my own little ways. I often hide my true self to please others. I know I have something but never been diagnosed. I'm 50 years old and back when I was in school, I was casted aside and left for dumb. Nothing dumb about myself....thank you for standing up for us slightly different people.
Story 2#: I know it'd be a COMPLETELY different story if she let a young child wandering around drinking booze in the chocolate edibles. Just because it was a dog and not a human, they see the dogs lives as less than and they're like it's not really a big deal, when in fact, IT IS. if she can't handle a dog when you're out of the house, then imagine when y'all have kids 😂 Fuck his friends and family. He's got me supporting him. ESPEVIALLY when he explicitly told her, "Please put the dog in the bedroom when you guys get started with your party." Any human with a heart and a love for dogs would never let this happen under their watch.
Absolutely!! This is so not ok! And he would have to shoulder double the amount of responsibility by having to watch over her all the time, sounds exhausting.
Story 2: I mean you might've had a point if it wasn't for OPs literal FAMILY telling him what she did wasn't that big of a deal 💀 it doesn't surprise me he didn't talk to her!! He's being gaslit from every angle. This was absolutely the nail in the coffin and I'm glad he left that toxicity behind. Probably low contact with family too so they realise they can't pull the curtains over his eyes again.
Also like, even if this was just one instance, she's a grown adult who should be capable of caring for a dog. Especially when all it entails is putting the dog in another room. The fact that her "oopsy" nearly killed the dog is enough reason to leave, regardless of history.
3:25 Problem: he did not try to pressure her into taking anything down, and apparently it HAD caused a bad impression when other people saw her apartment, so having a work meeting there WOULD cause problems for him. Not that I did not cringe at him saying animation isn’t fit for adults.
On the dog story: Many marriages are the next step before having children. So many people do not hash out their ideas of parenting beforehand, leaving them to solve discrepancies on the fly with an actual human as stakes in the gamble. Not the azzhole. She can’t properly protect a dog, or even herself, from her recklessness. Calling off the wedding is definitely a bullet dodged. Getting a divorce over endangering your children puts them at a higher risk. You can completely remove a dog from their care when you leave, but children are at the mercy of shared custody or visitation rights, during which you have no access to thwart harmful activities. Smart decision.
Another excellent presentation, as per usual, Dustin! 🎉 Also, cheers for the first "grown woman" for decorating HER place with things that bring HER joy! This is coming from a 55 y/o chick (probably still not a grown woman 😆) who decorates her house with as many SNOOPY items as she can! 😂 Much love to you & yours, my friend! ❤🫂
My mom absolutely loves Snoopy and my dad is always buying her anything with Snoopy on it like stuffies, hand towels, mugs, really anything she can use or display and it is so wholesome
I assume she "read something on the internet" about hyperfixation. And came to some conclusions of her own. I would guess something like: ""Only Autistic adults would be enthusiastic enough about hobbies to put them on their walls"" So thats kinda sad for her. What a boring world🏳.
You know exactly why speaking as someone with an autistic older brother and uncle 😂 My uncle has a room with knights armor and swords which is obviously really cool but it's not exactly common
i find the 2nd one so unbelievable because of how many people were siding with the fiance. how is op surrounded by SO many people that clearly dont respect other living beings if theyre not human
Story Three: Listen, I’m autistic and have been known to put my foot in it and miss social cues, but literally why would he make that type of comment? Completely gross and inappropriate! Also, story one: I want to be best friends with that woman!
I'm autist too. I think that either 1)The family saw on TV in a show or a film an ASD character that decorated in a similar way. Or 2)They heard people with ASD have special interests and act strange so they called her that. Still, it looked more like an insult rather than concern. Honestly, while I prefer less clutter and more natural look the description of her home was epic, would love to have a tour in there.
In the middle story, why is the dude the red flag? The Fiancé was irresponsible, and the dog almost DIED! She chose to look after them but didn't, I would break it too if my partner did that to my baby and make her ass pay the vet bill.
No you aren't, when I edited this I was laughing so hard that I had tears in my eyes, because I was legitimately irritated in the moment and it was killing me after the fact. The flag blowing in my face right after was actually pissing me off when it happened 😭
I gotta be quite honest for the first one, especially given his professional and career situation. I absolutely understand why he wouldn’t want to bring colleagues over to a place like that that actually makes a lot of sense in that business you don’t really have room to make people uncomfortable. However, if it was like friends or family or something, and he had a problem with it, well, then he needs to decide if he wants to choose her over them.
I had to scroll WAYYYY TOO FAR for this comment. I think everyone in this thread is being extremely ableist. I would have a mental health crisis in that woman's apartment. I would have to leave immediately. I am disabled and I have a service dog, but when I am not exposed to horror elements and bugs on the wall, everything is fine. I literally could not attend a work event at that house.
That first one, is he saying a child should have that decor???? Because that sounds like the decor of an adult who knows what their interests and fascinations are and didn't let societal pressures force them into the drab catalogue cliche decor. Plus, endless talking points. Absolutely endless. She's an inspiration to the rest of us
Yeah he's definitely saying that her taste is childlike and he was 100% looking down on it. You can tell he has felt this for a long time and the frustration over her interests has boiled over especially now that people from his work have seen it. I don't know how you can be "in love" and this ashamed over your girlfriend's personality. Just wild.
Right! Like a residential museum 🎉 I love it for her
Seriously, the more he described, the more awesome her decor sounded
right? anyone who judges her have an absolutely blank personality. they're boring people. it's okay to not like the decors because your personal preferences differ but to straight up call her a child or any other names intended to insult or belittle her for it is just disgusting
She sounds fun!!
Even if the dog didn’t die, eating that many toxic things could cause permanent damage. My childhood dog got into a bag of dark chocolate chips that my mom left on the coffee table once, and he had issues for the rest of his life after that.
So sorry to hear that. 🥺
My dog drank water outside that was contaminated with blue-green algea when my parents weren't looking back when she was only 8 months old. She had 20+ seizures and stayed overnight at the vet. She recovered and is now 5 years old, but now she is prone to seizures if she gets stressed out.
I left my dog with my sister and I explicitly told her to not give my dog and table food like chicken, pork, and ham because whenever my dog has those foods she vomits and gets a fever, 3 hours later she calls me saying that my dog is vomiting after she gave me dog ham... I took her to court for it because she nearly killed my dog because she is also deathly allergic to pork which I told her about
@@havoc-yw8xq How did the court case turn out?
@@lindybarnes641 I won, she was sentenced for animal cruelty
Last Story: I audibly gasped when she said 'does it make you feel good to call me that?' I love her. Queen energy. I don't think he needs to worry about that state of anyone's privates after giving birth. After making a shitty joke like that, I don't see that being a concern for him in the future.
I was your 1000th like ^_^
The fact he doubled-down and stormed away like a toddler just irks me to no end. I had already gasped at the horrible joke, but I'd have hated it less if he'd gone "sorry, intrusive thoughts, I'm sorry I was offensive", ig. I do hope he became the EX.
The wildest part was that he posted the story to Reddit, assuming he'd get validation from people thinking he was in the right! What a tool.
@@koalaeucalyptus Exactly. Everyone says something idiotic or regrettable from time to time. But the mature thing to do is think "hey, I didn't read the room" or "wrong place, wrong time, too soon" or "yeah that was really rude of me". And then you apologize and try to move on. This guy is making doubling down an extreme sport.
Me listening to the decor of the first story. "HONEY CAN I MAKE OUR BATHROOM SHARK THEMED?!"
Boyfriend: "I thought you were already doing that."
Same! I've been wondering how to spruce up my bathroom, and now I know!
And that is what we call a 'keeper,' ladies and gentlemen 😍
100th well-deserved like
Mine is Kraken-themed. I guess OP would hate me too
Lol I came home with a silly picture of a trex in a bathtub the other week and my fiancé laughed, said it was cute, and suggested a place in the bathroom to hang it. Real adults are secure enough to have fun and embrace their interests.
The second one. I would have called off the wedding, too. He never said he didn't address it. He just said he'd never bring it up in an argument. The point of the negligence coming close to ending any life would be my final straw, too.
He also doesnt need to justify leaving a relationship. Its not like they have kids or were married. There was no additional shared responsibilities between them. NO one has to stay in a relationship they dont want to be in and it doesnt matter why.
@carolbaker2773 you also shouldn't give up on a long term relationship that is typically healthy just because there's a few things wrong. You should attempt to work things out first.
@mesbalkema9996 like the initial comment says, he doesn't say it hasn't been brought up in the past. Probably why he wanted the dog put away in the first place and specifically mentioned it
@@mesbalkema9996a few things went wrong? If my partner, or any family member for that matter, was this negligent in this situation even though I had specifically given them clear instructions and they just didn't do it, I'm sorry but they simply do not care and they are definitely responsible for the outcome.
@@mesbalkema9996you should probably try to work things out, but if you choose to end the relationship instead, that's your prerogative.
I wanna be the new bestie of the girlfriend in that first story. Vampire squid, horrifying bugs, and angler fish? ABSOLUTELY, GIRLFRIEND, YOU DO YOU.
Exactly!!
I have a whole Star Wars living room and I am deeply impressed with this woman. It would be a blast going to a party at her house.
The combination of sleek and modern and this, she seems to have her shit together.
Dude dosen't have a personality of his own
FRRR it sounds so cool! I'd be asking about all the bugs and sea creatures, and then geek out over the animation wall!
ikr she sounds awesome! She could even be an animator too!
"It's understandable if you think your girlfriend's home is not suitable for a work event, but it's your hyper critial attitude that is off-putting"--he nailed it with this one
Yeah, like... I understand how it can be inappropriate to call the colleagues in her place if they're that sensitive to (admittedly) creepy decor, and wanting to shield both her and himself from possible negative judgment and arguing. But he HIMSELF is uncomfortable with it. He's uncomfortable with his own girlfriend's interests?
Like, I get it, I'm a scaredy-cat, I'm sometimes frightened by a shadow casted by a cup I left on the windowsill and forgot about, and having that horrifying looking shark picture in your bathroom? No thanks, I'd forget that it's there, spot it in the corner of my eye and scream high enough to break all the glass in that place.
But I'd just not date a person like that! Sure, she's probably awesome and a really interesting person to have conversations with but I'd just not be able to cohabitate. Some people aren't meant to be together and it's okay, no one has to change themselves or 'tolerate' each other and call it 'love'.
Yeah. That was exactly it.
@@heilinstarling9436 Good point. I totally don't see why he thinks it's juvenile to decorate like that. He probably just convinced himself it is because he doesn't like it and that justifies him not liking it. As if justification is even needed. We don't all have to like the same things.
@@Alinor24 you know, now that I think about it, his whole "that's childish and you can't decorate your place because you're too old for that" probably stems from some childhood trauma. I can totally picture that guy getting picked on and mocked for some "childish" hobby of his, and he blocked it all out to the point where seeing other people being comfortable with their own unusual interests makes him feel uncomfortable and almost threatened.
I would never know if it's true, but it'd make sence, right?
@@heilinstarling9436they weren’t even cohabitating. He was crashing at her place bc his was “under construction.” It’s not his space. He’s a GUEST there. I’m glad she found out early on that he’s embarrassed by her aesthetics & interests.
If it's not suitable for work stuff then don't bring work stuff home. Simple.
The last story:
What in hell?! He made a sexist comment, tried to shut her up when she wouldn't take his BS, called her insecure (probably in lack of any arguments), left her without transportation and still thought she's the one overreacting?!
Oh, hell no!
Yea that one pissed me off, he’s one of those God’s gift to women product of psychotic boy mom types
I love that dudes will talk about how reasonable and rational men are and then they’ll turn around and do things like this.
@@haileybalmer9722 yea they often talk about how they don’t know any m3n in their lives who would ever do anything harmful to wom3n. They’re the nice ones who always get friend zoned 😂
@@MBJean Ur comment is kinda weird, "the nice ones who always get friend zoned" so u are saying u friend zone nice men but like to be with idiots who treat you poorly.
Obviously there are the "nice" guys that are just creepy individuals. I just don't really understand how you don't realise ur comment proves that a lot of women have poor taste in men yet complain about those men treating them bad.
I'm not saying u deserve to get treated poorly but at some point u need to take some responsibility for the choices you have made.
@@shanks2872That comment was making fun of the “nice guys” who always complain that they’re “so nice” and still get friend-zoned, not realizing that they’re NOT nice and that’s why all their relationships fail.
Also literally no woman wants people who will treat them badly. No PERSON wants that. Please stop parroting misogynistic talking points and try talking to a woman. Just any woman. /gen
When my husband and I got married he had a full sized movie poster of Conan the Barbarian (original movie) and another of Aliens.
Those posters hung right in the middle of the wall of my country cottage living room for YEARS. Right beside his international beer bottle collection. I put them up because they were meaningful to him and never spoke a word against them. I had SO many female friends and relatives comment with disdain about the bottles and posters, but I shrugged it off. I loved him, they made him happy, and so the posters and beer bottles made me happy.
We lost Aliens in an unfortunate 'toddler' accident only five years into the marriage, but we'd been married for about fifteen years when something in him snapped. One Saturday he brought home some massive boxes from U-Haul and began tossing all of his beer bottles in there. I asked what the HELL he was doing. He said, "Growing up." I managed to save the posters.
We've been married for 35 years now and the Conan poster is hanging in his home gym. (I surprised him by saving up the money to put in the building. I'd already hired a concrete guy to pour the floor. The 'real' gym was a dream of his since before we were married. He works out in there every single morning.)
Right now the living room has been turned into a construction zone because I've decided to remodel. I've painted one wall and I'm working on a mural I've always wanted to paint. I know the mess makes him crazy, and he's tripped over the air compressor hose several times already, but he's happy that I'm happy.
We've only got one life to live. Don't be with someone who doesn't support your things and never be the reason someone sacrifices something they love. Don't be the reason someone gives up a dream. Life is just too damn short.
I love that!
❤❤❤❤❤
Holy crap this is one of the healthiest marriages I think I’ve ever read about
8:47 i've had my exes kill my animals on purpose. I immediately left them and told everybody what they did. I will never stay with anybody who has disregard for human or animal life either disrespectful vile disgusting pathetic childish. You don't deserve a relationship if you're acting like this.
He did the right thing and so did you
I’m sorry they’ve killed your animals on purpose? Is your ex still alive? Cuz if so, probably go fix that.
Exes? As in multiple people? Sounds like serial killers are your "type."
My fiancée left my 1 year old, 6 lb dog in his unfenced front yard on a busy road many times. He always smiled in a peculiar way and said the dog would never go out in the road. When he called me about some obscure problem he had with me and was leaving (he did this to create drama many times), I rushed to his house (he wasn’t home) to grab the dog and all my things. He harassed me to come back for a year, I never did. It has been over 10 years, the dog is still alive, and I am grateful the dog got me out of a bad situation.
Never tell a narcissist that you love something, they don’t know love, so it makes the thing you love a target of their abuse against you.
@@jet4415 Ugh I'm so sorry your fiancé was awful. I'm glad doggo is still alive thanks to you. And you're totally right about telling narcissists about what you love. I didn't have an extreme situation like some people, but growing up with someone who consistently used what I expressed appreciation/love/enjoyment of as ammo to manipulate and punish me, I learned to keep my interests to myself.
For a long time afterward it was hard for me to express gratitude for anything, be affectionate, or open up about my preferences and interests. I was afraid if I was too happy about having something, it would be taken away. Thankfully with a lot of therapy I'm mostly past that.
I worked in L&D for over 20 years. Men that asked “can you add an extra stitch?” were ICKs. One OB would respond “feeling insecure about yourself?” 😂😂
I liked the OB response. Nice one.
It is a thoroughly ick "joke", that has been around for at least four decades that I know of, so it is not even original. Just creepy sexist stuff.
The “husband stitch ” is such a disgusting thing to exist
can't remember where I heard it first (maybe Mama Dr Jones), but love it when the response is: "just exactly how small does it need to be for you?" - even better when holding up a pinky or pencil
@@pucamisc It's infuriating in so many ways, and one of them is that it makes sex painful, so the moron asking for it will have even less sex, and then have the nerve to whine about the consequences of his own actions-- which is historically typical of oppressors really.
Can you explain this pls I don't understand what the guy meant by the stitch joke
The last guy. Oooooooh nelly, mister . A walking trope of "she can't take a joke" really meaning, "why can't I get away with being a sexist ahole anymore?"
woow the last guy is an embarrassment!!!!!
If i was his girlfriend i would’ve just said very loudly but very calmly “why are you commenting about my friends vagina?!” So he learns through public ridicule
But beyond joke being sexist it's a weird joke when you know c section scars are on lower bellies, nowhere near where it would make a difference to how tight one is down there.
@@queenredfromthequeencity the joke isn’t about that. It’s about the fact that having a c-section means that she did NOT give birth v4ginally, which means her hoo-ha won’t be “stretched out” from going through labor, which is a thing some (the worst) men b*tch about.
@@queenredfromthequeencity The implication is that she will stay "tight" because she did not give birth naturally (through her birth canal).
Story #1: if she’s too much, GO FIND LESS. Do not suppress her being herself.
And if she were a guy it wouldn't be too much. Bros decorate with football or baseball stuff all the time. It's so annoying that women are not allowed any interest without some dude mocking it.
Exactly! If that's the only thing you find wrong about her and you can't handle it, you're dumb, dude
@@hellionshark3197lol idk. I feel like a guy having specimens all over his house would creep me out, even though I think it's cool. And I haven't met that many guys who were over the top with sports memorabilia
This is the take.
But his whole purpose in dating is finding someone who he can transform into whatever he needs (hopefully with very little resistance & for free).
Restaurant guy isn't an ahole, he's actually super helpful! By showing his true colors now, he saved her all the time she would have invested in the relationship before realizing she had to dump him.
😂😂😂😂 absolutely!
1:06 Weird triangle guy? That sounds like… Bill Ciper.
Gravity Falls! Hell ya! Why hasn’t this gotten more likes? That show is so wonderful and bizarro, the flying f’in’ eyeballs
Exactly what I thought when I seen that 😭😭
I WAS LOOKING FOR A COMMENT THAT WOULD POINT THAT OUT!!
Was looking for this comment thank you
Thank you for standing up for autistic people! I have had people mad at me for being "juvenile". I think they need more glitter 🪩 and rainbows 🌈.
Absolutely they do!!!!! 😍🙌
There is absolutely nothing wrong with keeping parts of your childhood with you throughout your adult life. I'm 32 and have a life-sized Halo replica helmet on my desk right behind me right now, and a giant Halo poster that you can see in this video because I have been obsessed with the video game since I was 12 years old. Keep the glitter and rainbows comin!!
I don't like rainbows but as a fellow autist I say heck yes! More glitter and more fun!
You're never too old to enjoy childish things.😊
i collect toy dinosaurs and im 25. i dont care what people say.
My ex wouldn’t let me hang my weird Halloween masks from old costumes on the wall in the guest room. He said it wasn’t “welcoming” 😑 that is literally the whole point. I am a spooky weirdo and obviously not hospitable. The people I want in my space won’t be upset by my decor choices. He took them down one day when I was at work and I never saw them again….. some of them were not cheap.
Oh hell naw! I can understand masks aren’t everybody’s cup of tea, but you don’t remove someone’s belongings like that!
I celebrate the fact that he’s your *ex* with a wildly exuberant happy dance. Huzzah for freedom from arseholes and douchebugs!
Noooo wtf I’m glad he’s an ex now
I would not even give him the time of day. Either give them back or I'm gonna find a way to charge you for them
I'm sorry even if you were married, that is NOT ok! Great to know he's an ex! Though so sorry you had to lose your fun decor in the process. I bet they were pretty cool
“Oh it’s just a dog and it lived what the big deal?” Simple response: “what if it was our kid?” How is he now supposed to trust her with their future kids if she did something like that?
Accidents happen honestly. That said I'm gone. If they can't put up with my dogs and keep them safe they need to be out of my dogs life and mine.
Yeah I don’t think that guy is the red flag either
Even then, what if they didn't get lucky and the dog did die?? He told her before he left to put the dog in a safe space (bedroom), so I can't even count that as an accident. She sucks.
I agree, she’s lucky the dog lived and should realize a kid could have done the exact same thing with a different outcome. Hopefully she learned from that experience but the man sure learned not the be with her. It’s about trust as well, if I can’t trust my partner with my loved ones then it’s over
@@hyiso811
She sounds rather reckless and oblivious. That's not the same as having a shitty personality though.
7:10, I would NEVER trust her again with a living anything! Not even a plant at that point, she doesnt seem to care enough to be responsible and anyone who puts ppl and animals at risk like that can’t be trusted with pets much less a future child. Plus, I’d likely choose a pet I’ve had for 7 years over a 4 year relationship if my partner displayed questionable behavior like that
I'm 54 years old and I at least would have sat the fiance down and talked about the issues that I had before I asked her to marry me if I was that guy. I also would have gotten someone to dog sit or taken my dog to a kennel if I knew she had done the things he said she did. But I agree with you somewhat
I'd choose a pet I had for a few months over a years long relationship.
Pets always come first.
Exactly. Of she's this reckless with the dog, their potential future children were already in danger.
How hard is it to not let a dog get poisoned with YOUR booze and edibles???
9:55 I was once told that "offence is taken, not given." I think they were trying to say its not their problem if someone is offended by their words, but what I took from it was that it doesn't matter is you didn't mean anything offensive, if they're offended, you apologise, because your intentions aren't the point. He could have just apologised for the joke and they could all move on with their lives
I would break up over the dog. What if a child had gotten into all of that? You have to be responsible for both what you're doing and what you failed to do.
Exactly!!
Why would you trust your dog with someone who almost sets the house on fire regularly and is obviously negligent in the first place? I definitely agree that it's ESH. Also, if she is saying that she is trying, then maybe she needs to be assessed for adhd.
@@maggieavilla1336 ADHD BIG TIME!!! I hope she gets help, and sadly this may be the feul she needs, but will need to recover from.
I was thinking that too, sounds a bit like ADHD, but that’s sadly no excuse here.
@@maggieavilla1336assessed for ADHD....I was thinking the same thing.
Last story: As someone who had a C-section. I would be pissed if my partner was making those comments on my privates after just having his kids cut opened out of me. Be even weirder and grosser for someone else in a relationship to do so. Yuck.
My brother in law made a comment about me still being 'tight' as a result of having a C-section. My husband (now ex) just laughed.
@@kikidevine694 bet he ain't laughing now
@@kikidevine694 EWWWWWWtf do they not understand we go back to being somewhat tight after the kid is born 🥲 we don’t stay dialated
"Do you think about my [person's relationship to you]'s vagina often? Dont you think thats kinda gross and weird?"
@@devonmack982 Obvious bait. Go do something else with your free time.
Speaking as someone who dumped a guy because he made fun of me for getting emotional when my mum bought me a proper vintage sextant and compass (I love nautical antiques and history) that i had always wanted for my birthday and asked why i cant be "normal", i want to be that first womans friend so badly. Your interests are your interests and you shouldnt have to feel that you need to hide your light under a bushel.
Fuck yeah! You go Captain!
I'm a female captain in Mexico. I love all that stuff!!
then don’t push for honesty.. he tried to just respectfully pass on hosting. she pushed, so he was honest with her..
i think he is pretty normal for finding bugs all over her wall to be creepy and uncomfortable for many guests he’d want to host..
with that said, it is her place. he didn’t ask her to change though.. he simply said, “i don’t like that stuff. it makes people feel uncomfortable.. so i just don’t want to host people here.”
you’re allowed to like what you like.. but if it’s something particularly niche that also creeps the average person out, then you may have to decide how important it is to you to keep displaying that stuff.. maybe she just needs to find mister bug man. ya know? someone who shares her interest because most folks won’t.
Your mother is awesome & a sextant sounds SUPER cool!
I guarantee if a guy friend got that gift he’d be supportive, I so suspect that it’s you deviating from “”feminine interests”” that has his incel butt upset
6:59 i’m pretty sure dogs just have healing powers because one time my dog ate a whole SHARE SIZED BAG (the weird ziplock bag kind) of m&m’s that my own mother left open on her nightstand. (Don’t worry, he puked it all up and he’s still kicking to this day!, he’s very healthy now!) also: he is a chihuahua for size reference.
You just got lucky
Goblin sharks are even cooler when you find out their mouths detatch to look like that and usually they look like a normal shark
Work in vet med. Let’s talk about how expensive it probably was to save that dog! Likely a $10000 vet bill. Also “you’re gonna leave her after 4 years?” Umm the dog has been his ride or die for 7years.
It wasn't the dog, it was the culmination of lot of things and the dog was the last straw. I'll put up with a lot of things but put my puppers in danger because of your negligence? I wouldn't care if it was the eve of the wedding, it would be off. At least he woke up and smelled the coffee before it was too late.
@@adelucas4824 at the second my lover becomes a danger to my best fur friend I WOULD LOOSE THE LOVER FASTER THAN A PETADOPTION PROCESS
@@LaeLiHeart I once had someone I was very much in love with about to move in until they said "Of course you'll have to get rid of the dog". I've never broken up with anyone so fast in my life. Oh no, not happening. I can get another boyfriend, I can't get another Rosie!! I made a promise to a baby small enough to fit in my hand that I would love and care for her until she drew her last breath. And I kept that promise. She died peacefully in her sleep early last year as an old lady and I miss her every day. The ex not so much 😁
@@adelucas4824Totally makes sense to me. I'd drop a partner so fast for my Georgie girl. I think at the end of the day it comes down to morals and lifestyle differences. I adore animals. I will always want pets in my life. If my partner disagrees or I find out they're in fact a danger to my pets, then we have irreconcilable differences and I simply could not date them.
@@adelucas4824 I would do the same for my pets, but I have trouble believing this is a case of negligence during the party if this dudes dog was so destructive and/or desperate that it would sit there lapping up alcohol... Like the candies I get, it happens all the time even to decent owners, but the dog was drunk?? Training your animals is not just for the owners benefit, it's for the fur babies on safety first and foremost!!
The man who left his fiance over almost killing his dog, is absolutely right to. Some friends, and I, were in a car, with a woman who constantly got in car accidents, and sure enough, we got in one. The crash was the loudest noise I've ever heard in my life. It was so shocking. The saddest thing was, that in the other car, a child of about 5 was there. He was bawling his eyes out, and I felt so, so, so bad for this kid. This woman needed to be stopped. I'm not surprised if it happened all throughout her life. Seriously though, in school, she was voted worst driver.
I agree, that the man in the subreddit, should've expressed his concerns earlier. That's on him, but I absolutely agree with his decision to leave. This level of negligence is already serious with a dog. What will she do with her children?
Yah I can’t agree with him listing him as a red flag
nah, bro is actually dumb. Its. Just. A. Dog.
Totally agree
I agree too
That was my exact thought. If she couldn't even put the dog away who can do its own thing for awhile, what is she gonna do with kids?
Ok but can we talk about how GORGEOUS Dustin’s girlfriend is?!?!?!! That leg tattoo is so sick 😭👏🏻
Omg yes I'm shook nobody's talking about that! She's a freaking queen ❤️
So buff as well, omg I love her
Oh my god, i wanna be friends with the first girl!!! Oceanography, entomology and animation?! GURL YOU'RE THE COOLEST PERSON EVER
I would literally be triggered to psychosis by a bug wall. So I can see the problem here. Everyone is siding against her because they think bugs are cool. No, he can't just invite work people over to her place if these are her hobbies and interests lol what an insane take from this comment section.
@@TehilahFirewind you're completely missing the point. If anyone would have phobia, He could just politely say "my colleague has phobia of insects", that's normal and mature way. Just because you're a crybaby about few dead bugs, doesn't mean everyone is.
The dude was degradatory to her and about her hobbies, why being with someone who yoh look down to? Oh yeah, cuz you're toxic, gotcha. Toxic people and manipulators dont like individuality. (You not Meaning literal you, before you accuse me of calling you, TehilahFirewind toxic)
Everything can be talked through as adults in peace and with respect. He had none for her in her own home. She was kind enough to let him stay at her place only for him to complain like He Is some sort of royalty. Sounds like choosing beggar to me.
@@naiteiruakuma2261 maybe he doesn't know lol have you worked in a real workplace? You don't talk about health issues. The point is it's unprofessional, he tried to dodge putting her into this position, she pressed him, so he gave his opinion. He thinks living in a space like this is childish, so what? Then she gets mad at him. She is obviously insecure. Also, people who do childish things do that because they were denied their childhood. It's a sign of trauma
@@TehilahFirewind lmfao i love internet armchair psychologists such as yourself, you're a good laugh.
Afaik handdrawn animation isnt childish thing, Its an art and saying Its trauma Is So ridiculous.
And She isnt insecure, she just doesn't want to be ridiculed for what she likes by her partner who degrades it after being allowed do stay there. Again, chosing beggar. At that point i would just Tell jim to get a hotel if He doesn't like the place lol.
You just sound like someone who doesn't Believe woman can be in a right. You demonize her so much.
And when it comes to you whining about this entire comment section, remember this saying.
"When i meet one asshole in a day, they Are He asshole, if everyone Is an asshole ..maybe i am the asshole."
Might be an explanation why everyone seems Wrong to you
Years ago, I went out with a guy who revealed he was a smoker, I don't smoke and don't want to date a smoker. So he quit smoking but started vaping with the intent to quit that too. He wouldn't vape around me because it bothered my lungs and I would start coughing. I had several senior rescue Boxers at the time and explained to him that I didn't EVER smoke/vape in my home, or use aerosols, perfume, scented detergent, chemical cleaners, etc because I have a sensitive olfactory system and dogs have an extremely sensitive olfactory system. I respect my dog's comfort and don't upset their home with unnecessary chemicals/scents. Explicitly stating, NO VAPING/SMOKING IN MY HOME. 3 months after we started dating, things were going well, so he took me to meet his parents and we announced that we were officially dating. We went back to my house and I caught him vaping in my bathroom with the door open, complete smoke out..... I broke up with him and immediately kicked him out of my home. NO CONTACT. If someone disrespects you by doing something you stated is unacceptable for you. Don't waste your time or theirs by trying to force a square peg into a round hole. That kind of disrespect will never just be that one thing, it will be everything. 🚩🚩🚩
OP's family in the second story reminds me how my elementary school told my mom that my dog passing away hours before I had to leave for school was not a suitable excuse to be "skipping."
That's exactly what my school did when I arrived LATE to school because I found my cat dead and had to bury him before we left. We held a small funeral for him and then still went to school, but they were mad at me and my siblings for being late over a "dumb cat."
@@Liam_washere nawh my mom would have been coming to raise hell if my school had done that. Luckily all the people who worked at my school were really sweet but there would have been metaphorical blood.
@riverpubby lmao atleast my homeroom teacher let me draw during my main classes and gave me a freebie on homework that week. My mom did go to the school the next day and most likely cussed the principal out for what happened but im not %100 sure
@@Liam_washere AS SHE SHOULD.
YES IT IS!! Jeez
"Oh God... Deliver me. Deliver me from rage."
Oh my god. This is the best quote.
New merch idea??
@@DustinPoynterVideos PLEASE!!!!!! 🥺
@@DustinPoynterVideos agree
@@DustinPoynterVideosabsolutely!
The fact that nobody took the guy's side when she almost got one of his most precious companions killed out of a stupid irresponsible act is ABSOLUTELY INSANE. MAN please get yourself better friends and either have your family figure their fucking priorities out or distance yourself. She almost took an animal's life, THE LINE HAS BEEN DRAWN.
Thank you, I hate when people act as if animals lives aren't as precious as human lives. Like, anyone's life is only as precious as we care about them, he cared deeply about the dog, therefor the dogs life is precious to him.
While i love my dogs people and the relationship between them are more important than one with an animal. If it was an accident than i understand, if it a pattern of being unresponisble and putting others and other live in danger I see he reasoning, and maybe the other people just see the one incident. They all have a different percpective and thats what they are responding from so its quite understandable. He was almost going to marry the woman, leaving her over the almost accidental death of a dog is questionable to most with out all the context.
You are right, he was stupid and irresponsible!
@@devonmack982 Its really not. She knew how important that dog was to him but chose to not care. That says enough about her.
@@user-eu1rh2nm8jdudes not saying that his decision was questionable- he's saying that maybe the op's family thought it so bc they didn't have all the context.
@1:32 I literally want to know who his girlfriend is so I can know where her oddities shops are. She has so many unique collectors pieces and sounds like she is super into her hobbies, How boring do you have to be to not at least be fascinated with her collections.
Fr! Like if my partner had an apartment like that I would marry them asap 😂🥲
YOURE SO RIGHT. She’s probably really sweet :( and if people did come over they would probably really enjoy the decor once she got to talking about it.
Same!!!!
I would be inviting everyone I could over to show off her unique tastes! She sounds fun and unique!!!!
Only reason I voted NTA anyways was initially because he didn't even touch the decor, but now, it's also because the tarantulas, etc. part of the decor could be nightmare-inducing (I think this because I'm arachnophobic. OP having these opinions about her home decor might mean he's arachnophobic too. You judging him for having these opinions about her home decor is hella disrespectful and hella disgusting. Everyone can have their own opinions.).
2:20 IF HE CANT HANDLE A GOTH BADDIE HE NEEDS TO LEAVE 🚨🚨🚨🚨 he probably doesn’t see the satire in American psycho and admires Patrick Bateman
I put NTA anyways because he:
1. He didn't even touch the decor.
2. He might be arachnophobic (Talking about the tarantulas, etc. part of the decor).
3. It's his opinion. You judging him for having it is hella disrespectful and disgusts me.
@@maxblanco1658bro did you even listen to the post?? he belittled his girlfriend because of her choice of decor, even going so far as too imply that it’s childish. he was obviously being an asshole. 🤨
@@penguinesque3869 Ok? If he thinks it's childish, let him think that. Respecting people's opinions is not that hard to do.
Some of us have never seen American Psycho and are too sensitive to ever watch it. It's not work appropriate.
He shouldn't be dating her if he doesn't like the decor@@maxblanco1658
I have never, EVER heard a story about a woman saying a grown man shouldn't have a wall for his videogames or his cars or action figures. The only time I read a story like that, the dude had Teddy Bears (which is considered feminine). So we all know what this truly is about. I hate the notion that women's apartments should look like a dentist's reception bc every hobby we have is judged like a crime
Nah tbf I’ve seen plenty. Not only displays, but even spending time doing “boyish” hobbies like video games or sports simulations or race cars is considered juvenile by some women. I’ve seen plenty of discussions of women who are discussing whether to leave their partner if they don’t quit video games. And this isn’t a case of video game addiction-they just think that playing computer games or trains or anything like that isn’t productive or mature enough,
BS I've heard and seen loads of women roasting men for action figures. If he didnt like her vibe just break it off. Dont try to change the other person but be honest for the reason why.
@@TumblinWeeds I think the only time I did not want my bf play a videogame is specifically Seige because he gets too upset over it. With yelling, screaming, and cursing to the point it upsets the pets and I'm worried about a noise complaint from the neighbors (renting an apartment). And personally I find it kind of scary, but he doesn't play Seige a lot.
Just last week, saw a story where she put all his "junk" into storage and "gave" him an "adult" office that he could be "proud" of. Reddit shredded her, she got the stuff back from storage and went to therapy. One woman managed to get reddit on her side by labeling her husband as a hoarder because his "toys" left his office space when he put up shelves in the hallway to display more figures. Pro-ahole tip: reddit defends collectors, but crucifies hoarders, and can't tell the difference without pictures! Another woman was throwing tantrums because her adult son was wearing Spider-man underwear, and he's too old for that. (Reddit told her to stop obsessing about her son's underwear.) Another woman did the same about wearing character tshirts. Two sets of parents had a meltdown because their adult children wanted to name their baby Anthony-- which is a very normal name but also an Ironman reference because they are Marvel fans. Seriously, our elders associate adulthood with unhappy marriages, unhappy jobs, boring office gossip, alcohol and cigarettes. The tide has turned to "I have the freedom to keep doing what I loved as a kid" and the resistance is ugly. But I'm 40 now, and you'll never take Batman from me. 🦇
I've seen plenty. It's never stopped being okay to hate people with nerdy/weird hobbies, irrespective of gender.
So many of the AITA couple stories boil down to somebody just truly not realizing that they don’t like their partner. If their interests, hobbies, personality, or job drive you so insane that you want to change them, then you don’t like THEM. You like who you think they COULD be.
It’s one thing to be annoyed by bad habits - we have to make allowances for people we love, which sometimes means accepting a request to change a PROBLEM behavior. But if you hate that I’m outgoing, hate that I love the color pink, etc. then go find someone else.
yeah but you legit only see husbands and wives on tv having issues with each other, never *anyone* explicitly dating unless you're watching a drama, in which case it is always *cheating* instead.
Never just basic incompatibility.
Dang that was deep. That’s good
To me it seemed like he had an opinion and wasn't comfortable bringing work folks around her house and she lost it at him for those reasons. I am surprised more people aren't saying something similar here. I mean, he can think it's childish and respect that she likes it. He never really made any effort to have her take it down before this, as far as we know. He just told her "I think it's not appropriate for work folks because reasons" and she got mad at him and everything that followed sounded like him responding to her hostility, honestly. I don't think the first story is being seen fairly here.
Whenever gossip spreads like wildfire and then the family attacks the person who broke things off with their fiancée I always think, “Man you don’t want to join that family anywhere.”
A cousin of mine broke off the wedding just days before the event. Me and a whole other bunch of family flew to the destination wedding and 2 days before, we were told it was not happening. I never once had a go at my cousin, he did the right thing. Some family was upset and trying to convince him to “go through with it” because of all the expenses and travel….which to me is just WILDLY INAPPROPRIATE! Trying to guilt someone into a lifelong commitment just because you feel you’re owed a wedding due to spending monies is outrageous
@@zcgbd32 Woah! Good for you for being understanding. At the very least it’s a bit of a family reunion. Your poor cousin!
@@zcgbd32one of my coworkers broke up his engagement a week before the wedding, he knew 2 years before he didnt want to marry her. Thats the issue. Many of these people know way in advance but literally can only tell the other person at the final hour
Second story, OP is ABSOLUTELY NOT the AH. It is unfortunate that OP took so long to realize she was a huge red flag, and didn't even apologize when she almost got his dog killed.
That is a 100% valid reason to break up, no matter how far into the relationship they were!
"I love my girlfriend."
"No you don't. Shut up."
GOT ME LAFFIN IN A TEASPACE
Dog guy. The context/history of behaviour was everything. Pet peeve of mine: people using ‘frustrated’ to describe when they are boiling with rage, flipping out, passive aggressive, etc.
Considering his family is trying to get him to ignore this huge red flag, I’m starting to see why the earlier obvious red flags were not visible to him
@@Art_museum28 Nah dude, without the history of behavior, this event would be an accident that could happen to anyone. Animals getting into stuff they shouldn't eat is a very common cause of vet expenses. So if he's been bottling this up and only told his family this one event then they are right to question him. To them it just seems like he's retroactively excusing an overreaction.
@@DemonstaI'm sorry, but if he's clearly told her to keep the dog away from the party (and therefore the harmful stuff), it's absolutely on her. Additionally putting stuff the dog is not supposed to get into in places where the dog will easily get into the (low coffee tables and stuff, basically the perfect eating height for a dog that size) is absolutely on her it's common knowledge (for people who know dogs) that most dogs will see this as an opportunity. And it's not just anything the fog got into either, it's alcohol and chocolate edibles, three things combined that are INCREDIBLY harmful for a dog and NEED to be kept far out of reach
@Demonsta I agree with the guy who previously responded to you.
The issue here is more that the guy trusted his fiance (which is okay to do) with his pet, and he gave instructions on how to care for that pet, (he told her to put the dog in a separate room when the party starts) and she chose not to.
I have pets. I used to have a bunch more than I do now. I can't even trust my sibling to put the right amount of bedding in the rat enclosures. It's hard to trust someone with your pet.
It's so hard to trust someone again AFTER they broke your trust about an animal that you gave clear instructions on how to care for. She was absolutely wrong for what she did. was it an accident, Sure. But was in her fault? Yes. Was she responsible for the pet in the household at that time? Yes.
It's the same as babysitting. If he had left his child with her and told her to put the kid to bed by a certain time, all to find out his child got hospitalized due to his partner not watching the child resulting in the consumption on toxic products. She was wrong to have not put the dog away, it even more wrong for not keeping an eye on the animal.
You are absolutely right that it's normal for dogs to do this behavior of finding and eating things. But. She was responsible for stopping him from doing it. Again same with the child, they naturally grab things. Everyone knows that. But it is STILL the parent or guardians job and responsibility to keep an eye on that child and prevent them from grabbing something dangerous. Natural for them or not, it's the guardians who's responsibility is to watch them.
Dog guy- I’d be very concerned about her ability to be a responsible wife and mother. I think he’s right to leave.
7:50 this is why nobody should judge others for calling off a wedding or breaking an engagement. You don't know what the relationship entails. I would so much rather be an a whole for a little bit of time than spend my life with someone who *constantly* makes me worry unnecessarily.
Really ANY reason is a good enough reason. Marriage should be a thing one is very sure about.
I kinda get why the first redflag boyfriend would want to avoid bringing his colleagues to his gf's place if it put someone unconfortable from work previously. BUT. This is not about having 'strange' or 'immature' taste. If he thinks that, it's because he dislikes her home but is not honest about it. Leave her alone and stay in your boring shade of gray colored flat !
This!!! "I work in a field where X interests are seen as undesirable/professional" is VERY different from "your taste is childish and immature"
Yeah that part I do understand, which I mentioned briefly but probably should've talked about more. That is understandable by itself, because it could be a distraction to people who come over and it could make his girlfriend feel uncomfortable if she notices other people's discomfort. It's the judgmental attitude that he has about his girlfriend's interests, his obvious embarrassment that he has towards her interests, and his clear attempt at bashing her for them. That's incredibly odd and it's confusing because why would you wanna be with someone if you're this irritated by their personality and interests?
Counter point as someone who's always had "the weird house," since my mum is odd (read: audhd) like me lmao. Just...be upfront about it. You can just be the quirky weirdos. Like hey y'all are welcome but fyi our decor features dead insects! Just give a head's up, and then own that shit. Usually people will then kinda embrace it and show up like they're going to a museum. They'll still talk about how weird things are, but then y'all can just...hang out and be normal, maybe talk about the weird decor. Someone goes to the bathroom and comes back talking about the weird shark and you get to tell them what a goblin shark is.
Like i get appearance and wanting to make a good impression, but i disagree with the narrative that weirdness can't be a good impression.
But also like. I'm not trynna force my opinions on you or anyone else!!!! You're valid!!! Just like, different pov for you, from a certified weirdo!!
@chickenanon Countrr counter point (as someone with ADHD but also in a profession that has similar standards), while I LOVE this approach personally, unfortunately depending on the field isn't just not realistic 😕. There's some fields that are REALLY big on conformity, especially if you're the low-man on the totem pole. Which sucks. Cuz it absolutely shouldn't be this big of an issue, but some fields something like that could end up shooting yourself in the foot.
Sounds like a skill issue--jkjk no but like. Like i get sometimes circumstances are crazy. But if your job is controlling your home life? Fuck that job. Like i respect the grind, i know we gotta eat. But as the only person I've seen in miniskirts in this entire town in the past 5 years? Fuck the haters man. If i lose my job over having a cool house?????? Are you kidding me? They can die mad lmao. Live your best life, i ain't trynna tell you what to do. But like, home/work separation, you feel me? @MissPuppy468
For the one with the negligent girlfriend that almost killed the dog; it might not be a case of OP not saying anything to anyone for 4 years, it might be a case of its finally obvious and in his face that she could very well get someone killed because she almost did finally. Its like when you know the oven is hot because you turned it on but you go about doing things any forget your oven mit for the .00002 seconds it takes to burn the tip of your finger, then you remember the hot oven is hot. Brains are good at ignoring the little things until the little things metaphotically bite them
To me it looked like OP realized WHILE writing the post because he’d never listed out all the things she’d done before. To me it looks like someone who just didn’t put together the separate instances until just now.
4:16 THIS!!!
It is one thing if he doesn’t want his colleagues judging her because he knows they will be snooty about it. But he is doing it too!
But he literally never said anything until it was time for him to host the event. He said that several people had come over and been confused about the decoration, and its not his taste, but he literally never asked her to change anything as he clearly didnt care. He knows its her space.
Then she got upset and said "ill decorate the space how i want" After SHE asked why he didnt want people coming over and he told her what OTHERS have said, not his personal opinion.
He made it clear that her decorations are not his taste, but that's hardly judgemental.
he, several times, wonders "why a grown woman would decorate her house like that", that's just outright condescending
@@seachelle2316 But again, he WONDERED. He didn't outwardly say anything and understood that she had a right to her styling choices in HER house.
@@fatalposiie umm, he did outright say something judgeful about it tho🤨🤨. when she confronted him about why he didn’t want to host at her place he said her decor was strange and not how a grown woman should decorate. did you even listen to the story??
@@penguinesque3869 I literally said that. He knew that it was her decision and didn't say anything until he was asked. Can you not read?
"this isn't even about the dog."
I'm a 28 year old female and if my fiance carelessly let my dog eat edibles and drink beer, making her sick, I would 110% break up with him. That is not the kind of person I want to be with.
My dog might as well be my child. Only an extremely neglectful, careless person would allow a human child to have access to alcohol and edibles. Why is it less reprehensible with a dog?
It would have to have been a really weird, freak accident for me to not break up with someone over this.
This guy might be a red flag in some way but I don't blame him for breaking up with her over the dog thing, especially if she has shown this kind of carelessness before... What sends up red flags for me is his "this isn't even about the dog" part. I get his point, but I would risk life and limb to save my dog from harm, so how is it not about the dog? I get that it would not be ONLY about the dog... But for me the dog's safety is the biggest issue in this situation. If I couldn't trust my partner to keep my dog safe when I'm not around (obviously allowing for freak accidents and things out of his control), then I don't want him as a partner. 🤷🏼♀️
Exactly! Like what are they doing while you're asleep or at work that could potentially cost you your animal's life and potentially all of your belonging or even your partner's life? Your life even if something happens while you're home. I can't handle people who are careless like that.
I'd have to go John Wick if ANYONE hurt my fur babies.
As someone who thinks people go way too batshit crazy over animals online, even I agree with the dude here. That level of negligence is unforgivable, the poor dog must’ve felt horrible and he nearly died.
❤ I’m tardy for the party but this is the comment I agree with 100%. Thank you.
Ngl i think the only reason he said "its not even about the dog" is because everyone in his personal life is getting mad at him for leaving her over the dog. So he feels he has to justify it by also bringing up his other issues. Cause they all probably made him feel like the asshole and when he realized that hurting his dog was the final straw, he left her, but still has to justify it mentally for himself. Often when you're in a situation where no one os on your side and everyone is ganging up on you, you get lax on your own viewpoints. Thats why mob mentality and mass hysteria and the likes are so effective.
I am an adult woman that unabashedly decorates with dinosaurs. So defensive for gf in story #1 right now. It’s HER damn place!!
I am almost 50 and would totally decorate with dinosaurs rn if I had the extra income for it. I haven ever cared whether people like what I like. I've put up with my husband's stuffed marlin, he can deal with my stuff lol
I love dinosaurs so much!!! (33F)
DINOOOOOOOS i need to see pics i recently bought a jurassic world t shirt and the evolution 2 game 😅
where do i find good dinosaur decor? Legitimately asking for a friend who’s obsessed and i want to get them nice gifts 👀
I'm 27 and our bathroom is fully shark theme. Framed shark teeth and all
Story #1: All he had to do was tell his colleagues that his home was unavailable and switch with someone else - and not bring his GF into the equation. He is using the work-happy hour situation as an excuse to complain about his GF and looking for validation for his dislike of her decor, making him the AH. And, go girl, decorate however you want.
I'm a little confused about that story. I think he's an AH for his blatant disregard of his GF, the fact that he clearly doesn't love or respect her...
But he literally DID just try to switch with someone else. She pushed the issue. He said he was going to skip, but she continued to press him. I don't think he was going to say anything until he felt backed into a corner by her.
I don't think his opinions are less AH-y, but I don't think he set out to have the conversation with her and I feel he ought to be cleared at the very least on that front.
@SliceofSimple I thought about n that as well but then Dog story happened and I wondered how long would Embarrassed Boyfriend continue to be silent.
What if they decided to move in together (or worse, get married before they moved in together)? Would he still keep his “serious grownup” looking apartment for after work parties? Would her things slowly disappear to storage/the trash?
It’s best they figure this stuff out now instead of ignoring it.
@@SliceofSimple i personally wouldn’t feel comfortable going into her house goblin sharks creep ME OUT but that’s my issue and i’m allowed to not go in there, i am NOT allowed to tell her it’s weird or wrong or anything that she should remove or change i don’t like people saying my room needs changing cause it mine so why would i do that to her
@@LaeLiHeart Yeah, that kind of goes away when you're considering a professional gathering. If you bring your coworkers to your house and surprise! your house is a halloween haunted house, you might suffer serious consequences over time. Not having a friendly space for people to come over to is kind of a red flag. This is more about the insect wall and the goblin shark than the animation, though, tbh, being interested in animation is becoming more and more of a red flag due to the association between animation and creeps.
Why not take some stuff down for one evening? I frequently move stuff in my apartment to my room if I don't want my guests to see it/it would be in the way (Like my dog's bed or my art projects.) It doesn't mean I love my dog less, it means I want my guests to be comfortable and have space to be themselves.
Like what if one of the professional guests was arachnophobic and was surprised by the insect wall, had a panic attack? They're both red flags here, IMHO.
@@pensandshakersI think the way he went about it was wrong. But they aren't red flags for having very different lives and interests. They're just incompatible.
It is a red flag that he wasn't going to bring it up and continue on with the relationship, if the understanding of the relationship was that it was going to progress to marriage/space sharing.
He was wasting her time, or hoping to change her. Neither is appropriate, unless she expressed the desire for such (she expressed the exact opposite).
Her lifestyle works for her and her interests. She's not doing anything wrong by existing on her own.
If he had brought it up under a no stress conversation, that would have been different; though it would have still resulted in the obvious fact they're incompatible long term... But he was actively trying to guilt her into it. Otherwise he wouldn't have brought it up at all, spared her feelings, and found a way to make it work without forcing her to change her lifestyle for him.
He needs a vanilla lady, if that's what he wants to present to his colleagues. She isn't that. Shaming her is childish.
1:30 can I be her friend?
Same here
Bro same
3:40
As an autistic person this was a kind of unexpected and very pleasant thing to hear from this channel. Made me so happy
As an autistic person, I am happy I don't do things that make people wonder if I am mentally handicapped like get angry about not having work folks in an inappropriate environment lol but that's me
I like watching a 32 year old man running around with a red flag. Still loving these long form vids, and sooo grateful for the captions! Having apd makes it so I very much rely on them, yay for accessibility!
I find him to be an absolute _delight._ And my lazy butt can't help but appreciate the very cathartic enthusiasm.
If anyone put my dog in that situation after being told to lock him up, I’d call it off too. Your dog isn’t just a dog. He’s your baby. You should have talked to people about it before, but better not get married now, than an expensive divorce.
dogs are wonderful but they aren’t really comparable to children. I get your point tho
@@fairykeibani9155 I loved my dog as much as my children
What also gets me about that story is her being into animation. The first cartoons that were produced weren't by any stretch of the imagination meant for kids, not to mention that many animated shows to this day aren't necessarily for kids.
Finally, someone who knows the history of animation. I agree. They were meant for adult eyes. Just because something is animated doesn't automatically mean it's meant for kids.
@@rabbit0664 I mean when I look at some of the old Merry Melodies I remember jokes flying over my head as a kid, but getting them as a teen or younger adult.
@@DespairDoctor True true. Not to mention on top of that some of the earlier cartoons were shown in-between news about the war in theaters.
Then it goes further back where they were used in peep shows.
@@rabbit0664 exactly
And even if she *did* like children's animation (wich I highly doubt based on the other décor), that still wouldn't warrant this kind of condescension, ESPECIALLY not from her partner.
7:17
This story. “At least the dog didn’t die”
What if that dog was a child instead?? You wouldn’t be nonchalant about it lmaooo
So that dog could have longterm health issues from the alcohaul, edibles and chocolate it ingested. Just because the dog survived, doesnt mean its healthy
As a professional tax accountant, if I went over to someone's house with the decorations that the first story's girlfriend had, I would have thought the house was super cool. You being an insecure little nitwit is exactly why people think that professionals in finance/accounting are sticks in the mud. She has interests that don't revolve around you! That is very baller my guy. Hope she finds someone that sees her sparkle, as you obviously don't.
Nicely said 👌 100% agree.
Given he mentioned her job is high paying only the cross over of high paying female job that date finance bros, my guess is she is a tax accountant too.
I'd have a mental health crisis in a room with a bug wall, and possibly psychosis in a bathroom with horror fish decor. It's not work appropriate
"When I grew up, I put away childish things - such as the fear of being seen as childish and the need to be very grown up" - a line from C.S. Lewis that seems like O.P. of first story should ruminate on.
I bet all my quarters that the finance bro's "construction" at his place = he doesn't HAVE a place.
I’m sure he does have one, and is now getting completely unnecessary work done to try and impress his coworkers (like a gold toilet and marble sinks or some other nonsense). The business card scene from American Psycho is a good example of the finance culture
Omg! Lissa I miss you sis
I’m so glad I wasn’t the only one thinking of American Psycho
@@ValarieSawyer-nh2dg hi sissy! I love you! ♥️♥️♥️
The last one is one of those "hey it was just a joke!!" type of sexist comment situations where it's absolutely not okay. Good on her for not letting it slide and confronting him about it
I mean this in the most polite respectful way I can muster, as a 15 year old cis and straight girl… holy shit, muscle mommy, your girlfriend is so cool 3:54
Story 2: Disagree on the red flag - he clearly asked her to keep the dog safe, she didn’t, and then she couldn’t even own up to what she did when he found out - the friends had to tell him what happened.
Would it have been worse if he wasted everyone’s time after the wedding due to an annulment or a divorce? You can return suits, and cancel flights, but you can’t undue a horrible marriage.
He is the difference type of red flag, he is like Anne from amphibia. The toxic kindness, the one who don't tell other their concern and let the red flag build up until it burst. I'm glad he finally stand up, but he need to learn to communicate and stand by for now on. That way, his life would be on the safe ground with his dog :3
tbh as someone who has pet sit a lot it sounds like she overestimated how well trained his dog is. Most people think it's ok to put food on a table, that's what tables are for. Training your pet is for the pets benefit and safety, not the owners convenience. She fucked up but he is also responsible for failing to train his dog, as well as leaving it alone with someone he claims to have known all along was this negligent. He is an AH to the dog, and to everyone he inconvenienced by planning and cancelling a wedding with someone he says has always been like this.
@@DemonstaI mean, ngl, some dog breeds are much harder to train to leave food, especially when it's at perfect eating height no one is paying attention. Some breeds are going to get into food in such a situation no matter how well trained they are. Yes, if he really felt this uneasy about he negligent behaviour, he shouldn't have left the dog with her, but I can also say from personal experience that sometimes it can be quite easy to push feelings of unease about certain things away for the sake of other factors (like maybe they did get along really well outside of her reckless behaviour, probably if they were engaged). So I feel like it's pretty unfair to call him an AH for first planning and then cancelling the wedding (or inconveniencing others with it) is pretty harsh
@@tezzanoia Labs are one of those breeds. They were bred to be highly food motivated as it makes them easier to train. It also makes them more susceptible to obesity. There was no way a less than impeccably trained lab was not going to go for the food.
@@elfdragon1227or American Bulldogs, who would sleep it off and be fine, or puggles who are prone to endocrine disorders, the list goes on. The idea that the DOG should have known the food contained edibles is insane lol
The “joke” the guy made in the third story made me gag wtf
I am 38, and my husband is 36, and we have a large Zelda poster over one wall of our dining room, and then a huge dragon mural on the other(we play DnD). That's just the tip of the iceberg. It's important to nurture your inner child.
And no, you fuck with my cat, I will hold you under water until the bubbles stop. Lol, sorry, but that second story enraged me.
My husband and I just turned 36 this year. We have a long entryway in our house that has framed posters along one way - Dr. Who, Star Trek, Pokemon, HP, Tron, and other geeky stuff. My in-laws (also total nerds) were over recently and my FIL made a comment about the "weird pictures". I asked what was weird about them; they're some of his favorite shows too (okay, maybe not the Pokemon one). He said, "It's weird you'd show people that. Your office makes sense, but not the entryway." I said I was using it as a warning - "Turn back now! Unapologetic geeks ahead!" If people don't like it, the door is *right there* and they can leave.
Jealous! I want a huge Zelda poster too!
I would know from your choice of decor that we would not get along, personally. That to me is just signaling unresolved childhood trauma. Like playing it is one thing. Decorating with it is another. It is childish, I actually agree here. A POSTER lol like actual children. Is it framed? I guess it's different if it's tasteful?
@@TehilahFirewind bahahah, ok Freud😆 Or maybe we are just nerds and like to have fun. Also, we aren't judgmental pricks 😁 And I'm not worried about getting along with you, your judgemental personality and snobbishness tells me we REALLY wouldn't get along!
@@lizthedisjointedzebra692 it's not really judgmental, I mean, psychology isn't judgmental. People get stuck at all sorts of ages for all kinds of reasons. I would never judge someone for hanging whatever they want in their own home. I can tell we wouldn't get along, though. I have had too many bad experiences with people who do this kind of thing and speak like you. I'm too old to put up with it. I need to just start saying no to people who haven't and can't seem to grow up. And that's just a passing thought I had from being on this thread today, and seeing how for instance you reacted to this video.
Dustin your reaction to the apartment ahole is so sweet, wholesome & awesome. This is why I trust you enough to recommend you to my Mom & favorite Great Aunt.
I have a couple comments here! First story - I live in a house with frog art on the right and otters on the left, and all kinds of Disney stuff in between. We love our life and if people come over and think it is strange then so what! Second story, this is a tale from my parents. They once had a rousing New Years Eve party wherein the alcohol was spilled. The dog apparently licked it up and had a major hangover the next day. It was an accident of youth! But I agree with you that if she is this careless with her actions, he really should have addressed it before the wedding. Last one...he is lucky she didn't call all her friends to whack him in the you-know-whats with a wiffle ball bat. Okay...said my side. FYI - you are awesome!
"You douchebug!" is my new favorite insult. lol!
Feel free to use at any time 🪰🪰
Mine too! ♥️🤣
SAME 😂🤩😂
Story 2. He's absolutely right to break up with her. Dog is essentially a little kid. What if they had a child and the child ended up in a similar situation??? Especially considering she's quite careless as author says after the story. I would NOT want someone this careless to be around me and to put themselves and others in dangerous situations, especially pets and children.
I was about to comment the same thing! I mean, I'd hope you wouldn't be having this type of party with kids or locking them in the bedroom, of course, but the point still stands. Also, his family and friends not understanding this are also red flags. Hopefully, with time, they will come to understand. I'm sure the initial shock of it and it being "just a dog," which I don't agree with, is their reasoning. Overall, she just sounds very childish and irresponsible. I do not blame him.
No, you suckered for narcissistic reasoning? Would you leave your fur baby alone without you with drunk strangers, one who knows reaction, one bite, put down risk, two, drunk people smoke, let dog out by accident, let alone clearly, had a dog once who would drink scotch people left in cocktail glass, realized dogs shouldn't be at a party, booze is at... so HE is the one with no accountability, he could've taken dog, let them relax and party, dog spa, relatives...it's one night...He shouldn't have children with anyone EVER
@@tinmaddog7 he had some trust in his gf, which, well, you're supposed to trust your partner, hence leaving the dog to her counting on her being responsible. So he might be guilty but only for trusting his partner who had proven to be untrustworthy, which in turn isn't that much of his fault.
@@tinmaddog7This was supposed to be his wife and mother of his kids, btw. How the heck is it narcisistic to expect better? This is a literal "one job"-moment.
Honestly, I think he was looking for a reason to cut her loose. This emergency situation with the dog was his way out and good for him. She clearly wasn't ready to be in an adult relationship. However, how he ended things was terrible. He didn't even bother to have a conversation. How does he expect to maintain a relationship if he's unwilling to share his concerns?
For the first one: i would understand saying that he wouldn't want his work colleagues to come because he was worried that his colleagues might say something about the decor and maybe hurt his gf's feelings or something like that. For example, if he had said something in the post that he loved her decor but knew how others might not like it, i would maybe understand him a bit more. But he was rude, talking about her during the whole time, so it's clear that he doesn't even really love her for her.
Exactly!
Its the condescension with which he says it. The way he looks down on her for having these interests and displaying them in this manner.🚩
Not wanting to bring guests over was fine. The way he consistently states that she is childish and that "grown women" do not decorate like she does? That was completely unacceptable and shows a disrespect for her as a 'real' adult woman. A woman who likes what she likes.🚩
He could have had that conversation in a green flag way, but he didnt. He just shows that he thinks she needs to "grow up" and be more serious. 🚩
(Also apparently he was raised by parents who think only adults on The Spectrum are enthusiastic about hobbies. So thats kinda sad for him. What a boring world.🏳)
Or have a health crisis like I would. It's just not work appropriate
Subscribed! My ex-husband was a Man-child just like AITA #3 - he was offended whilst picking me up from work and drove off without me AND OUR 6-MONTH OLD CHILD who was in daycare. I had to get a ride from a friend, get a carseat from another friend, go pick up the baby and then get home. He had no remorse and called me selfish. Good call Dustin - this is the ultimate in Red Flag behavior.
"Some poops are terrifying"
Me, with food poisoning:
"YOU DON'T SAY!?"
Nah, if you hurt the fur baby, the wedding is canceled AND you're getting these hands!!!!!
4:01 im a bodybuilder too!! And also eclectic. My home is COVERED with oddities, skulls, medical instruments, antiques, and very scary stuff 😈
That's awesome 👌
Ok you rock, keep being yourself you absolute bad ass
I can understand that first story. My SA has my interests secluded to a corner of our home because it’s not “adult enough.” I’ve always felt like she looks down on me because of this but I love her so I just try to ignore it. It does hurt that it took almost 7 years to have my own corner of the house.
You sound cool af 😊
I have a dog and I'm a 100% with that guy. I understand freak accidents happen, so when I first read the title I was like... I need context. But this was pure negligence and incredibly irresponsible on her part. My dog is everything to me. And if they want kids in the future is she going to treat the kids that way too? For me it would also be the last straw. I would never be able to trust her with my dog again. That is not someone I would want to build my life with.
1:12 A WEIRD TRIANGLE GUY?! 🔺️
BILL!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!??!
BILL CIPHER???
Absolutely
My lounge has a collection of Star Wars paintings by an artist who paints with tea & alcohol. My throw blankets for the sofa are also Star Wars. My sister & I are waiting for my nephew to move out of her apartment (he’s a 25 year old accountant!) as we want his room as a LEGO room. We have a number of items to build, the last thing was a birthday present for her which was the cantina on Tatooine. ⭐️
The paintings and throws are fine. The legos, unless it's like a museum or show room, will be seen as childish. None of these hobbies would cause a health crisis in someone with a phobia of bugs like me, however, so I'd still invite work folks over to a house like yours. I assume you stated this to hear how folks compare it to the initial example, pardon me if not.
the last one is so funny when she said “does it make you feel good to call me insecure” and he left out of insecurity
I love that "if she comes after you i cant stop her" 🤣🤣 that's how it should be! 4:49
I would 100% leave anyone who harmed my pet in any way. I don't think that's a red flag. If you marry someone you've got to be able to trust them.
I don't think that's a red flag at all. In fact, that's the smart thing to do. His fiance had a consistent and blatant disregard for human and animal life and that's honestly scary. But I think him refusing to address it with her or even talk about it with any family members or friends is inconsiderate -- especially considering everyone bought suits, flights, helped pay for the wedding, bought wedding gifts, etc. I think it was pretty telling that everyone was blindsided by this and no one was on his side. He just didn't address it and he still proposed 6 months prior, despite knowing that his fiance had this glaring red flag in her personality and hadn't talked to her about it. That's why I gave them both one.
I think it's weird to assume he didn't address this with her in the past. I think that's why he explicitly told her to put the dog away. Just because he said he doesn't bring it up in a fight, doesn't mean he hasn't ever expressed his concerns to her outside a verbal altercation. But that's just me. Either way. He's not a red flag at all to me especially lacking any context on how he has addressed things when catching her texting and driving/ setting shit on fire on the stove. Those incidents did happen and I'm willing to bet he probably tried to address her carelessness then, and just isn't willing to rehash it again when arguing.
@@DustinPoynterVideosGotta disagree. He gave her the benefit of the doubt until he couldn't deny any longer that she wasn't capable of change. I wouldn't fault someone for a last-minute epiphany like that, even if it sucked for me personally.
I just ALWAYS find it icky when someone is blamed for staying in a relationship where the other person does bad things. it's victim-blamey.
@@Errenium very much this! It's easy to have a 'they'll grow out of this' kind of mindset and essentially understanding that someone's doing something bad but not really recognizing that it's an issue until something really bad happens, because you basically think that you can teach them to be better. I think that's exactly what this guy was trying to do by telling her to out the dog away and not just saying something like 'make sure you watch him', like he wanted to keep the dog in a safe place because yes party bad for dog, but also because she's not trusted to watch the dog during the party. If any of that makes sense 😵
"You put a turd in a ball gown and expect no one to smell." Is an amazing expression and should be used more.
Side note: every single time he talks about how cool his girlfriend is, it makes me so happy 😄
Story 1 - decor is sooo cool ❤ . Old woman in here that has realised if a man controls you, you dump him and keep the Angler Fish 💓
His masculinity felt threatened by her angler fish. He was afraid to be just a pair of testicles dangling from his much cooler girlfrienf
Stranding your girlfriend at the restaurant is awful. If you need to cool off, go to the Men's Room instead.
That first Story: 👏DON'T👏LET👏OTHERS👏DULL👏YOUR👏SHINE!!!👏
OP sounds like they have a personality akin to dry toast. The Girlfriend's house sounds AWESOME!
I'm currently making A Giant bead lizard wall art, a fully bedazzled worm on a string chandelier, and looking for ways to find a way to put spongebob flower clouds all over my wardrobe to name a few Decor things i'm doing. If my style bothers anyone, they don't deserve my time of day.
💖
My rooms fulled with trinkets and nick nacks that I like or find cool or even that makes me happy, like the skeleton hand sand timer or even the porcelain doll that looks similar to me. If you don’t like it, leave, your not the kinda person I wanna have in my life anyways ya know?
Me: this place is so sick (dry wretches in arachnophobia), really really cool decor 🤢 oh gods above, why did I look at the bird eater?! May I be excused? (Stares at goblin shark in awe). Honestly, the bathroom is preferable to the rest of the house. I might stay in here for a bit...
i wouldnt be able to stay around the insects very long (phobias ☹️)but it sounds so cool
That guy is a "beige mom". Boooooringgggg!
You sound awesome. You go, girl!
“I know people like this- they wear fancy clothes, they go to church…” I felt that!
Thank you for standing up for creative people. I like being odd in my own little ways. I often hide my true self to please others. I know I have something but never been diagnosed. I'm 50 years old and back when I was in school, I was casted aside and left for dumb. Nothing dumb about myself....thank you for standing up for us slightly different people.
"... you're vapid."
*aggressively hits like*
That story hit a little too close to home for me 🤢
@@DustinPoynterVideos hard same.
@@DustinPoynterVideosyou went ballistic on him as if he personally insulted you 😅😅 listen your own speech..
Story 2#: I know it'd be a COMPLETELY different story if she let a young child wandering around drinking booze in the chocolate edibles. Just because it was a dog and not a human, they see the dogs lives as less than and they're like it's not really a big deal, when in fact, IT IS.
if she can't handle a dog when you're out of the house, then imagine when y'all have kids 😂
Fuck his friends and family. He's got me supporting him. ESPEVIALLY when he explicitly told her, "Please put the dog in the bedroom when you guys get started with your party."
Any human with a heart and a love for dogs would never let this happen under their watch.
Absolutely!! This is so not ok!
And he would have to shoulder double the amount of responsibility by having to watch over her all the time, sounds exhausting.
Simple you are good parent or bad....
Story 2: I mean you might've had a point if it wasn't for OPs literal FAMILY telling him what she did wasn't that big of a deal 💀 it doesn't surprise me he didn't talk to her!! He's being gaslit from every angle. This was absolutely the nail in the coffin and I'm glad he left that toxicity behind. Probably low contact with family too so they realise they can't pull the curtains over his eyes again.
Also like, even if this was just one instance, she's a grown adult who should be capable of caring for a dog. Especially when all it entails is putting the dog in another room. The fact that her "oopsy" nearly killed the dog is enough reason to leave, regardless of history.
That first lady sounds like someone I would really like. I love a good insect collection.
3:25 Problem: he did not try to pressure her into taking anything down, and apparently it HAD caused a bad impression when other people saw her apartment, so having a work meeting there WOULD cause problems for him. Not that I did not cringe at him saying animation isn’t fit for adults.
On the dog story: Many marriages are the next step before having children. So many people do not hash out their ideas of parenting beforehand, leaving them to solve discrepancies on the fly with an actual human as stakes in the gamble. Not the azzhole. She can’t properly protect a dog, or even herself, from her recklessness. Calling off the wedding is definitely a bullet dodged. Getting a divorce over endangering your children puts them at a higher risk. You can completely remove a dog from their care when you leave, but children are at the mercy of shared custody or visitation rights, during which you have no access to thwart harmful activities. Smart decision.
Another excellent presentation, as per usual, Dustin! 🎉 Also, cheers for the first "grown woman" for decorating HER place with things that bring HER joy! This is coming from a 55 y/o chick (probably still not a grown woman 😆) who decorates her house with as many SNOOPY items as she can! 😂 Much love to you & yours, my friend! ❤🫂
My mom absolutely loves Snoopy and my dad is always buying her anything with Snoopy on it like stuffies, hand towels, mugs, really anything she can use or display and it is so wholesome
@@annmariebarreiroart 🎉HOORAY🎉 That totally made me smile! 😊❤
3:35 what does autism have to do with it?. Speaking as an autistic person myself
I assume she "read something on the internet" about hyperfixation. And came to some conclusions of her own.
I would guess something like: ""Only Autistic adults would be enthusiastic enough about hobbies to put them on their walls""
So thats kinda sad for her. What a boring world🏳.
You know exactly why speaking as someone with an autistic older brother and uncle 😂
My uncle has a room with knights armor and swords which is obviously really cool but it's not exactly common
@@NateUnderZion Uh... non-autistic people have hobby rooms too.
Dog killer: negligent, heavy drinker, yes. But she purposely decided to endanger YOUR dog. Ditch her.
i find the 2nd one so unbelievable because of how many people were siding with the fiance. how is op surrounded by SO many people that clearly dont respect other living beings if theyre not human
Story Three: Listen, I’m autistic and have been known to put my foot in it and miss social cues, but literally why would he make that type of comment? Completely gross and inappropriate!
Also, story one: I want to be best friends with that woman!
I'm autist too. I think that either 1)The family saw on TV in a show or a film an ASD character that decorated in a similar way. Or 2)They heard people with ASD have special interests and act strange so they called her that. Still, it looked more like an insult rather than concern.
Honestly, while I prefer less clutter and more natural look the description of her home was epic, would love to have a tour in there.
@@livingwikipedia1952 Honestly some offbeat decor is way better than a normal-looking place that's a pigsty. No contest at all
I would have a mental health crisis in woman one's house
In the middle story, why is the dude the red flag? The Fiancé was irresponsible, and the dog almost DIED! She chose to look after them but didn't, I would break it too if my partner did that to my baby and make her ass pay the vet bill.
AITH for giggling at your muddy misfortune? However, I have done the same plenty of times before, so just think of it as an empathy giggle. 😉
No you aren't, when I edited this I was laughing so hard that I had tears in my eyes, because I was legitimately irritated in the moment and it was killing me after the fact. The flag blowing in my face right after was actually pissing me off when it happened 😭
I gotta be quite honest for the first one, especially given his professional and career situation. I absolutely understand why he wouldn’t want to bring colleagues over to a place like that that actually makes a lot of sense in that business you don’t really have room to make people uncomfortable. However, if it was like friends or family or something, and he had a problem with it, well, then he needs to decide if he wants to choose her over them.
I had to scroll WAYYYY TOO FAR for this comment. I think everyone in this thread is being extremely ableist. I would have a mental health crisis in that woman's apartment. I would have to leave immediately. I am disabled and I have a service dog, but when I am not exposed to horror elements and bugs on the wall, everything is fine. I literally could not attend a work event at that house.
The guy was right to call off the wedding, dude