r/Cursedcomments | FETUS DELETUS

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 10 ธ.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 6K

  • @cas4018
    @cas4018 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11726

    Petition for him to say "My Namien is Damien"

  • @sovietunion8087
    @sovietunion8087 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3922

    Joke
    Me: that's pretty funny
    Damien: *W H E E Z E*

  • @littlepotato5525
    @littlepotato5525 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5422

    Friends are kind of like toast.
    If you set them on fire, they are crunchy.

    • @Booce-db5db
      @Booce-db5db 5 ปีที่แล้ว +105

      Little Potato at least you tried

    • @speedylinguine
      @speedylinguine 5 ปีที่แล้ว +149

      Little Potato *KWISPY*

    • @FA-yi1vt
      @FA-yi1vt 5 ปีที่แล้ว +137

      I like my friends with a C r o n c h

    • @lunarpitch
      @lunarpitch 5 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      Krispy Friends Are Best Friends

    • @kalebriddle7215
      @kalebriddle7215 5 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      R/cursedcomments

  • @honeydew1917
    @honeydew1917 4 ปีที่แล้ว +97

    No one:
    My brain at 2 am: **thinks about Damien’s laugh and makes me start laughing too**

  • @clowns4fun
    @clowns4fun 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3411

    teacher: why u laughing
    me: nothing
    me: *emkay has a reddit*

    • @clowns4fun
      @clowns4fun 5 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      @Dylan Schell Blazkowikz yep, and i'm proud

    • @eclipsegeckothesecond8982
      @eclipsegeckothesecond8982 5 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      Dylan Schell Blazkowikz not all furries are part of the dark side 😤🥺

    • @its_unbearable
      @its_unbearable 5 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      @@eclipsegeckothesecond8982 thank you.

    • @sandtoe9272
      @sandtoe9272 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      SweetTeaX wait omg hi

    • @top2not2___
      @top2not2___ 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      What

  • @d3ad_ro0ster
    @d3ad_ro0ster 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3234

    The title reminds me of that one:
    Hermione: Harry, I'm pregnant
    Harry Potter: fetus deletus!

    • @geo4876
      @geo4876 4 ปีที่แล้ว +71

      dO do Do DO Dooooo dOOOooO

    • @breadiswater1979
      @breadiswater1979 4 ปีที่แล้ว +87

      FETUS DELETUS THE.FETUS IS MEATUS

    • @calypsosystem3726
      @calypsosystem3726 4 ปีที่แล้ว +50

      A b o r t i o n

    • @LucaGel23
      @LucaGel23 4 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      Better yet, have fun with her body!
      AVADA KEDAVRA!!!

    • @Sage-ve3pl
      @Sage-ve3pl 4 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      He better deltus that fetus Because his wife do be ginny

  • @lvd_johnskateboard8331
    @lvd_johnskateboard8331 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3259

    You can't spell manslaughter without laughter

    • @silentvixlet
      @silentvixlet 5 ปีที่แล้ว +107

      Mansloter

    • @theomegadestructor4974
      @theomegadestructor4974 5 ปีที่แล้ว +92

      Killstreak

    • @52xeloR
      @52xeloR 5 ปีที่แล้ว +106

      you can’t spell abuse without use

    • @geo4876
      @geo4876 4 ปีที่แล้ว +48

      @@52xeloR For a second I thought you said "you can't spell abuse without me"

    • @alexanderhiatt2399
      @alexanderhiatt2399 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Mans

  • @youfromthepast3513
    @youfromthepast3513 4 ปีที่แล้ว +351

    Time traveler here, we can’t eat humans anymore because of social distancing.

    • @alvinmiranda7574
      @alvinmiranda7574 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      No you can

    • @Mr.Pocket
      @Mr.Pocket 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I had a 20 inch fork so we can

    • @Mr.Pocket
      @Mr.Pocket 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Venom Snek only a spoon full

    • @Mr.Pocket
      @Mr.Pocket 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Venom Snek of ice cream

    • @Mr.Pocket
      @Mr.Pocket 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Venom Snek WhAt dId yOu ThInK I WaS gOiNg To SaY

  • @hayden9384
    @hayden9384 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4520

    Post: *something funny*
    Emkay:😕
    Emkay:His own joke
    Emkay:🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂🤣😂

    • @Altives
      @Altives 5 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      The Real Paul Rudd thats not funny

    • @Akira.0.
      @Akira.0. 5 ปีที่แล้ว +145

      @@Altives but it's true

    • @coronavirus8551
      @coronavirus8551 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Ah yes true comedy

    • @mirkeer814
      @mirkeer814 5 ปีที่แล้ว +39

      Alfred Gamer yeah but it’s tru tho so its kinda funny

    • @Altives
      @Altives 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      F.E.V ik

  • @LokiThePug
    @LokiThePug 5 ปีที่แล้ว +819

    2:59
    Me:”eating pineapple”
    The pineapple:PAYBACK MOTHERFUCKER NOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM

    • @mrmagunga2788
      @mrmagunga2788 5 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Ok this is so underrated

    • @forrevv
      @forrevv 5 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      The Pineapples are back, *W I T H V E N G E A N C E*

    • @veronnn.
      @veronnn. 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      sforeevoo lol I’m ded

    • @iamthechair6328
      @iamthechair6328 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Pineapples= Cow

    • @uglymugofaprofilepicture8312
      @uglymugofaprofilepicture8312 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I just imagined how spongebob would end up being eaten by his on home, or that one episode(The best day ever, I think)where those bugs were eating everything and would’ve gotten eaten by the pineapple inside out.

  • @therandom0ne939
    @therandom0ne939 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1208

    I named the spider in my room Cotton-eyed Joe because I need to know two things.
    1. Where did he come from
    2. Where did he go....

  • @Pteryll
    @Pteryll 4 ปีที่แล้ว +423

    This is not mine but:
    “ yeetus yeetus commit self deleteus”

  • @rob3840
    @rob3840 5 ปีที่แล้ว +750

    “Harry,you need to stop doing abortions at school”
    “Fetus deletus”

    • @aneasyliving
      @aneasyliving 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      hi my name is fitz, welcome to the vid

    • @rob3840
      @rob3840 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      IC3 CL0UD finally somebody pointed it out

    • @gremlinteddy
      @gremlinteddy 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      oof

    • @silvertheshinysylveon6646
      @silvertheshinysylveon6646 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      "Harry, You're A Wizard!"

    • @Edmonton-of2ec
      @Edmonton-of2ec 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      It would be funnier if it was phrased deletes the fetus

  • @mollytaylor8122
    @mollytaylor8122 5 ปีที่แล้ว +896

    *For all of you freaking out about pineapples:* Literally they're giving an overexaggeration of how acid works, and there's MUCH more acid in sour candies than in pineapples. There's absolutely nothing wrong with eating pineapples OR sour candy.

    • @mollytaylor8122
      @mollytaylor8122 5 ปีที่แล้ว +55

      @Silly Goose Yeah, our stomachs are strong enough to take Coca Cola, which can literally be used to strip through steel. I think it can take a lil 🍍

    • @mollytaylor8122
      @mollytaylor8122 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @Silly Goose lol your name is perfect for this - you silly goose, that'll kill ya!

    • @Micro13bk
      @Micro13bk 5 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      Apparently, it s because of the enzyme it contains, Bromelain... That enzyme digests proteins and it s technically "eating you"...Some people who are sensitive to it might experience bleeding gums and what not equivalent to minor scratches...But it s the same way people claimed that Coca-Cola disolves your teeth (If you keep it in your mouth for a reallllly long time, which is not realistic at all)...

    • @Micro13bk
      @Micro13bk 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@mollytaylor8122 I don t think Coke strips steel, it does however make rust removal too easy...Which, if I recal corectly, you can do the same thing with vinegar...

    • @zyloft2053
      @zyloft2053 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Molly Taylor ima say that’s an exaggeration so r/wooosh

  • @chaos7879
    @chaos7879 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1979

    Me: *YEETUS FEETUS*
    EmKay: *FEETUS DELETUS*
    Me: *.-.*

    • @theaxolotlman3345
      @theaxolotlman3345 5 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      Why not do both

    • @ironduke5058
      @ironduke5058 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@MajorGunner lmao how do you do that 😂😂?

    • @Megyazer
      @Megyazer 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Cletus yeetus feetus deletus

    • @poysona
      @poysona 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@danareese1895 okay..?

    • @MajorGunner
      @MajorGunner 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@ironduke5058 It's simple. Since i'm on mobile, ill explain how to do it on android cos I don't have an apple phone.
      𝖲𝗍𝖾𝗉 1: 𝖦𝗈 𝗍𝗈 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖦𝗈𝗈𝗀𝗅𝖾 𝖯𝗅𝖺𝗒𝗌𝗍𝗈𝗋𝖾.
      𝖲𝗍𝖾𝗉 2: 𝗌𝖾𝖺𝗋𝖼𝗁 𝗎𝗉 "𝖥𝗈𝗇𝗍 𝗄𝖾𝗒𝖻𝗈𝖺𝗋𝖽".
      𝖲𝗍𝖾𝗉 3: 𝗌𝖼𝗋𝗈𝗅𝗅 𝗍𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖿𝗂𝗇𝖽 𝖺𝗇 𝖺𝗉𝗉 𝖼𝖺𝗅𝗅𝖾𝖽 "𝖥𝗈𝗇𝗍𝗌".
      𝖲𝗍𝖾𝗉 4: 𝖽𝗈𝗐𝗇𝗅𝗈𝖺𝖽 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗈𝗉𝖾𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖺𝗉𝗉.
      𝖲𝗍𝖾𝗉 5: 𝖿𝗈𝗅𝗅𝗈𝗐 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗂𝗇𝗌𝗍𝗋𝗎𝖼𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌 𝗂𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖺𝗉𝗉.
      𝖲𝗍𝖾𝗉 6: 𝑒𝑛𝑗𝑜𝑦 ㋛

  • @frostywolfy6640
    @frostywolfy6640 4 ปีที่แล้ว +107

    “This is Twitter, not Google Grandma” okay natsuki

  • @thecaliconinja7667
    @thecaliconinja7667 5 ปีที่แล้ว +774

    Someone posts something*
    Comments: demonic laughter*

    • @microearthquake
      @microearthquake 5 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      *The Gates of Hell have opened*

    • @ziggyartz1217
      @ziggyartz1217 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      *laughs demonically*

    • @notklouds-3177
      @notklouds-3177 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      *you burst into tears as Satin laughs*

    • @bio5612
      @bio5612 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Satan has Entered the server

    • @eclipsedninja1346
      @eclipsedninja1346 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      *Satan has entered you*

  • @PIB2000
    @PIB2000 5 ปีที่แล้ว +647

    *Stares at pineapple* "I guess the real question is, who's eating who?"

    • @alex41201
      @alex41201 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Yes

    • @Hypesutube
      @Hypesutube 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      WDYM?

    • @lorenzopastorelli1114
      @lorenzopastorelli1114 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Bloodhound WHO CUMS IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA?

    • @jixo6294
      @jixo6294 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@lorenzopastorelli1114 why.. just why?

    • @lorenzopastorelli1114
      @lorenzopastorelli1114 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Jixo Plays Because i felt like it.

  • @wolfiethetimberwolf1363
    @wolfiethetimberwolf1363 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1544

    Damien: "There's nothing wrong with Grand-daddy Doms, _I'm one of those."_
    *_Fear has entered the chat_*
    Edit: Thanks for 1K likes!!

    • @lakethefemb0y
      @lakethefemb0y 5 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      I made an army of vampire sim that are the son of grim.
      *fear has left the chat*
      *Terrerisom has joined the chat*

    • @Feldsparb420
      @Feldsparb420 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      *how tf you make italics*

    • @wolfiethetimberwolf1363
      @wolfiethetimberwolf1363 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@Feldsparb420 ex: &I'm not here&
      But replace the & with _

    • @wolfiethetimberwolf1363
      @wolfiethetimberwolf1363 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      So it's _I'm not here_

    • @wolfiethetimberwolf1363
      @wolfiethetimberwolf1363 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @「SakuraFox」 *I'm confused*

  • @Lawsonomy1
    @Lawsonomy1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +220

    Eye condition: Idris heterochromia. It's more common in cats then it is in humans.

    • @basyaproductions8744
      @basyaproductions8744 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Same with dogs, i would know because i have a husky with the same condition

    • @ihavethisnowiguess
      @ihavethisnowiguess 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      cus incest iis kinda norm for cats

    • @ImADeity
      @ImADeity 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      coo

    • @smashypixel4188
      @smashypixel4188 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@basyaproductions8744 have a weiner with the same condition but one of her eyes have 2 colors for some reason and it looks like a pokeball

    • @thefutureismeaninglessthep7364
      @thefutureismeaninglessthep7364 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@ihavethisnowiguess r/cursedcomments

  • @rubix1619
    @rubix1619 5 ปีที่แล้ว +498

    6:51
    Emkay: Fetus Deletus
    Me: Lmao more like fetus beatus

  • @lightsinthesky4989
    @lightsinthesky4989 5 ปีที่แล้ว +465

    "Wooooo, I give dummy good tongue," is the only truly cursed comment in this video.

    • @Ryothh
      @Ryothh 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @deadspace the end is cursed also

    • @yousif639
      @yousif639 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Naaaah the yoda one made me regret mh existence

    • @mothmio
      @mothmio 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      We have the same pfp

    • @lightsinthesky4989
      @lightsinthesky4989 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@mothmio we are both amggree gators

    • @CatoMinemcrideisepic
      @CatoMinemcrideisepic 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Dummy good top*

  • @aurealite
    @aurealite 5 ปีที่แล้ว +644

    “I want a new joke, I want a new joke, I want a new joke”
    *and that kids is how I was born*
    (Do you really want my username to be Ctrl_Alt_Delete)

  • @enteikarino6921
    @enteikarino6921 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Regarding the pineapple, yes, it can eat away at your flesh. It’s often used as a tenderizer to soften meat. As for eating it, it can’t kill you if you digest it first.

  • @mosqit4324
    @mosqit4324 5 ปีที่แล้ว +718

    Teacher: what are you laughing at?
    Me: nothing, sir.
    My brain: Melon musk

    • @nickparkyn4712
      @nickparkyn4712 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Is it pronounced mee-lon musk?

    • @loliprison7759
      @loliprison7759 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Melon husk

    • @natsueyama
      @natsueyama 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@loliprison7759 yes.

    • @tanvikhare9710
      @tanvikhare9710 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@nickparkyn4712 came just to clarify this

    • @degistirmelutfen
      @degistirmelutfen 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@nickparkyn4712 mee loon

  • @pixalsamurai4048
    @pixalsamurai4048 5 ปีที่แล้ว +311

    Friends are like trees.
    If you spray water on them.....
    They will be wet.

    • @Sinstarclair
      @Sinstarclair 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      *processing*

    • @Neo6x1
      @Neo6x1 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Cursed comment

    • @-loonatheworld
      @-loonatheworld 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      my brain just went through a buffering stage

    • @melmaraquino5439
      @melmaraquino5439 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Wat

    • @quicksilverdaisyday
      @quicksilverdaisyday 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Pixal Samurai P....P.I.X.A.L.?? P.I.X.A.L. BORG?? FROM LEGO NINJAGO: MASTERS OF SPINJITZU??

  • @tatakae5339
    @tatakae5339 5 ปีที่แล้ว +708

    A "Laughter" in Slaughter!
    And "Art" in Fart

    • @silentvixlet
      @silentvixlet 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Oh man

    • @EB-yl6fn
      @EB-yl6fn 5 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      There is use in abuse

    • @tatakae5339
      @tatakae5339 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@EB-yl6fn Oh my God yes..

    • @jun-hs4eo
      @jun-hs4eo 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      A ‘Dad’ in ‘Daddy’

    • @renzovergara3436
      @renzovergara3436 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      when you get F in your art class

  • @wolfydawolf1296
    @wolfydawolf1296 4 ปีที่แล้ว +41

    The pic in the thumbnail would be sort of wholesome if he were holding a catcher's mitt instead of a bat

    • @paulwingert9993
      @paulwingert9993 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      What about an X and he's Holding a fork

  • @skywalkershand2338
    @skywalkershand2338 5 ปีที่แล้ว +360

    "What question do you never want to be asked again?"
    Why my dad is tied to my bed.

    • @TrashDeviant
      @TrashDeviant 5 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      "What question do you never want to be asked again?"
      I thought we were having steamed clams?

    • @Dippy__Draws
      @Dippy__Draws 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      TrashDeviant no,no I said steamed *HAM§*

    • @Ben_Cartwright
      @Ben_Cartwright 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      The first question you asked, now shut up and change the question so I don't read it again

    • @anintellectual1637
      @anintellectual1637 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      "What question do you never want to be asked again?"
      *hey... your grandma died 4 years ago right?*

  • @ryducks2873
    @ryducks2873 5 ปีที่แล้ว +198

    Me: I like dark jokes
    *turns off light*
    Me: Knock knock

    • @hiraeth776
      @hiraeth776 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Who is there?

    • @ryducks2873
      @ryducks2873 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Kanashi Ko frick didn’t think this far

    • @sulkii9437
      @sulkii9437 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      The door is open, get out

    • @ryducks2873
      @ryducks2873 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      * Turns back on light*
      Fine

    • @Andrea-by4jk
      @Andrea-by4jk 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      *naked grandma*

  • @kztraaa
    @kztraaa 5 ปีที่แล้ว +159

    I love how Damien calls every small animal a "little guy" its just adorable

  • @lazypaladin
    @lazypaladin 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I've never felt more connected to anyone...Damiens reaction to Mumbo Jumbo. Pretty much got naturally bass boosted by yours truly

  • @erinmayo5170
    @erinmayo5170 5 ปีที่แล้ว +657

    Me: yeetus skeetus
    EmKay: fetus deleteus
    My friend: incestus molestus
    Edit: holy shit, this is the most likes I've ever had by a lot

    • @mudwallop737
      @mudwallop737 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Dogo, you just don’t get it

    • @yustinj.3910
      @yustinj.3910 5 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      So your friend is from Alabama?

    • @erinmayo5170
      @erinmayo5170 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@yustinj.3910 actually yes he is lol

    • @nickalgiere8280
      @nickalgiere8280 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      H O W D Y Y A L L

    • @nickalgiere8280
      @nickalgiere8280 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I'm the 69th like too.

  • @tooded87thesecond48
    @tooded87thesecond48 5 ปีที่แล้ว +320

    Me: I stopped a kidnapping today.
    Friend: Really!? How?!
    Me: *Self Control*

    • @Matthew-um3dz
      @Matthew-um3dz 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Tooded87 TheSecond stolen

    • @tooded87thesecond48
      @tooded87thesecond48 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@Matthew-um3dz I took it off of twitter, yes.

    • @Arcturus155
      @Arcturus155 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      That's really twisted...

    • @mcgee.philip
      @mcgee.philip 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Arcturus155 tHatS wHaT ShE sAiS

    • @user-pl5lm3bb8n
      @user-pl5lm3bb8n 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Tooded87 TheSecond stolen off reddit actually, from fainted’s chats #5

  • @demonas4985
    @demonas4985 5 ปีที่แล้ว +192

    There is always “Fun” in funeral just look at the ghost around ya you will see him congratulating the new guy

  • @lfchubbuck
    @lfchubbuck 4 ปีที่แล้ว +157

    Teacher: okay class, today we will be doing something different, like finger paint
    Kid whose name is paint:😳😨😰😱🥵

    • @user-se8jg5ul7e
      @user-se8jg5ul7e 4 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      Kid named class: 😏

    • @stephanieperales7600
      @stephanieperales7600 4 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      Kids named something and different: 😳
      Kid named we:😉

    • @sangayghale9276
      @sangayghale9276 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      ALL OF U STOP MY INNCOENT EYES

    • @cherylvollen8426
      @cherylvollen8426 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Kid named Finger: 👁️👄👁️
      Kid named We: 😁

    • @miguelbaltazar7606
      @miguelbaltazar7606 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      oh god no I have no plot twist to save this

  • @ollaniuspius1211
    @ollaniuspius1211 5 ปีที่แล้ว +163

    "Undead head"
    *_Thinks back to that one Ghostbuster's scene_*

  • @DropOldGranny
    @DropOldGranny 5 ปีที่แล้ว +372

    Mukbangers: *exist*
    The Pokémon Muk: *intense Macarening*

    • @notkazman1678
      @notkazman1678 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Ya ded

    • @ImADeity
      @ImADeity 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      alolan muk has teeth

    • @pancakedum1980
      @pancakedum1980 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      R/cursedcomments

    • @ImADeity
      @ImADeity 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @Venom Snek Hold on

    • @ImADeity
      @ImADeity 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @Venom Snek Jesus, Lover of chastity, Mary, Mother most pure, and Joseph, chaste guardian of the Virgin, to you I come at this hour, begging you to plead with God for me. I earnestly wish to be pure in thought, word and deed in imitation of your own holy purity.
      Obtain for me, then, a deep sense of modesty which will be reflected in my external conduct. Protect my eyes, the windows of my soul, from anything that might dim the luster of a heart that must mirror only Christlike purity.
      And when the "Bread of Angels becomes the Bread of me" in my heart at Holy Communion, seal it forever against the suggestions of sinful pleasures.
      Heart of Jesus, Fount of all purity, have mercy on us.

  • @thetrashiesttrash9120
    @thetrashiesttrash9120 5 ปีที่แล้ว +193

    So I've decided to make a novel entirely composed of "Florida Man" stories

  • @spicystxrrs
    @spicystxrrs 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    2:32 just imagine you're laying in bed and feel that breeze then you just hear, "bOooOo iM a GhoOoOssstTt," then just a bunch of choking noises

    • @foxycinnamonkitten997
      @foxycinnamonkitten997 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I would have assumed that they were reliving their death

  • @Manuelslayor
    @Manuelslayor 5 ปีที่แล้ว +404

    Pinaple: "ima do whats called a progamer move"

    • @zun1111
      @zun1111 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      the fuck is a pinaple its pineapple ._.

    • @trentf8607
      @trentf8607 5 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      Isaac: Hey, did you know pinaples grow on trees?
      Zack: Did you just misspell pineapples?
      Isaac: Sorry, autocorrected haha
      Zack: We’re talking right now, what the hell?
      Isaac: *wipes forehead*
      Zack: Don’t wipe my forehead again.

    • @oingusboingus5662
      @oingusboingus5662 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      AlenFTW rbx ok so imagine a pineapple except no it’s PIN-APPLE!!!

    • @butternic8825
      @butternic8825 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Kanye West*

    • @CalebXavierTerry
      @CalebXavierTerry 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@trentf8607 amazing

  • @sykurpudi1
    @sykurpudi1 5 ปีที่แล้ว +422

    "Shoutout to the quing of england."
    -Damien, 2019

    • @silentvixlet
      @silentvixlet 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Imposter! Imposter! The quing of England is fake!

    • @southernwulf530
      @southernwulf530 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Queen*
      Im an American and I can spell it correctly.....

    • @silentvixlet
      @silentvixlet 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@southernwulf530 lol thats how he said it.
      "quing of england"
      and what does that have to do with you being american??

    • @southernwulf530
      @southernwulf530 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@silentvixlet A lot of people in the world think Americans are a bunch of idiots etc..... Soooooooooooooo yeeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhhh

    • @silentvixlet
      @silentvixlet 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@southernwulf530 it still wasn't necessary?? I'm American but I didn't say "Imposter! Imposter! The quing of England is fake! btw I'm american". Even so, it doesn't matter at all. No one was asking where you were from.

  • @malvonos
    @malvonos 5 ปีที่แล้ว +762

    The dual-eye-color thing is a condition called heterochromia

    • @michellemccartan432
      @michellemccartan432 4 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      *yells in Bakugou* Gaychromia

    • @theseal1592
      @theseal1592 4 ปีที่แล้ว +52

      @@michellemccartan432 cringe

    • @gacha_jasmine1009
      @gacha_jasmine1009 4 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      @@michellemccartan432 r/youngpeopleyoutube

    • @candyskull7625
      @candyskull7625 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      @@haru_116 I do.

    • @bitchplease7602
      @bitchplease7602 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Michelle McCartan r/stopbeingcringy

  • @purplehatter550
    @purplehatter550 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Wise saying for the day:
    Fate is not determined by an outside force, but woven by the path you choose

  • @uwumaster1837
    @uwumaster1837 5 ปีที่แล้ว +179

    What's a question that people ask you?
    "Is that a dead body?"
    Erm yes why do you thing I'm at the cematery?

    • @mitskifan9000
      @mitskifan9000 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      blessed username and blessed pfp im glad to see another danganronpa fan watching reddit youtubers

    • @Seadrip
      @Seadrip 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Hehe 69 likes

    • @uwumaster1837
      @uwumaster1837 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@Seadrip time for me to give some undead head

    • @-Tidae
      @-Tidae 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@uwumaster1837 child..dude..dudette,
      Please dont

  • @lexxietm
    @lexxietm 5 ปีที่แล้ว +504

    Jesus: someone will betray me
    6ix9ine: its Judas
    Judas: *aight imma head out*
    Edit: thanks for likes please sub

    • @benwhitt7800
      @benwhitt7800 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Glasses Gaming r35s get stabbed

    • @wingy6060
      @wingy6060 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      You've heard of elf on a shelf, now get ready for Switch on a snitch!

    • @alexanderthegreat3444
      @alexanderthegreat3444 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I'm not gonna lie I laughed way harder at this than I should

    • @nevergonnagiveyouupnevergo7513
      @nevergonnagiveyouupnevergo7513 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Snitchessss

    • @PokeMaster22222
      @PokeMaster22222 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Isn't there a passage in one of the four contradictory stories where Jesus says the person he'll hand the bread to will betray him, then the "Messiah" gives bread to Judas, but no-one else at the table takes note of that?

  • @wilburmeows
    @wilburmeows 5 ปีที่แล้ว +228

    "That's how mumbo jumbo was born."
    Me just coming back from watching a hermitcraft video:
    oh naw *starts crying*

    • @ravenashburn3689
      @ravenashburn3689 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Oh, so many People are feeling the same stuff right now. :,(

    • @judyhein1074
      @judyhein1074 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      *Who the fuck is Mumbo jumbo*

    • @kettern4719
      @kettern4719 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@judyhein1074 a pretty famous redstone minecraft youtuber

    • @hunkychunk7148
      @hunkychunk7148 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Wait what happend

    • @doom7006
      @doom7006 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Minecraft happend btw mumbo jumbo and groan are the mistevious twins out of the hermit craft server

  • @mememaster6928
    @mememaster6928 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    9:57 I'm currently on the toilet having a violent crap and have goosebumps and now freaked out

    • @moocake057
      @moocake057 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thanks for....sharing..?

    • @thatpicklekid3536
      @thatpicklekid3536 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I am having a violent crap and I regret clicking on that time stamp

    • @azekiel7599
      @azekiel7599 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Ya done yet?

  • @glowstonelovepad9294
    @glowstonelovepad9294 5 ปีที่แล้ว +215

    A funeral is real fun. That is proved by rearrranging the ltters.

  • @Jordan-id2vi
    @Jordan-id2vi 5 ปีที่แล้ว +98

    Everyone: asks why there are dead bodies in your basement
    Me: I need ornaments for the Christmas tree

    • @has20quid
      @has20quid 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Hol up

    • @thealtpandapng
      @thealtpandapng 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      My response is normally “I need to get food somehow”

    • @olivia7444
      @olivia7444 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@ericolens3 I-

    • @therianprincess4902
      @therianprincess4902 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I think the real question should be: Why is the friend in the basement to find those bodies?

    • @aiko1000
      @aiko1000 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      "Wow Tim, Halloween has passed but these eyeball ornaments look awesome! Mind telling me where to get one?"

  • @denisify5984
    @denisify5984 5 ปีที่แล้ว +159

    FETUS DELETUS IS THE FUNNIEST THING I'VE HEARD AND ITS NEVER GONNA CHANGE

    • @joebrown1198
      @joebrown1198 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Is it still funniest??

    • @kttouchdownf2w
      @kttouchdownf2w 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Bro ok joe ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown

    • @kttouchdownf2w
      @kttouchdownf2w 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brown ok joe brown Joe Brow

    • @krakenman3132
      @krakenman3132 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      "yeetus the fetus from the vageetus"
      -SSSniperwolf
      i don't remember from which video unfortunately :(

    • @cheese-jv1nh
      @cheese-jv1nh 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@kttouchdownf2w ok

  • @abrogaming5976
    @abrogaming5976 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Mumbo Jumbos birth story is now officially the best thing ive ever heard

  • @jaxsterminator8634
    @jaxsterminator8634 5 ปีที่แล้ว +112

    1:17 Your kid is Sans, and so is your cat. The father's kid.

    • @Geny4029
      @Geny4029 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      O. 0 okay

    • @lunaticpuffist9727
      @lunaticpuffist9727 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      It could also be ulla britta

    • @zulumike7534
      @zulumike7534 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Don’t bully him. You’ll have a bad time.

  • @Hellionknow
    @Hellionknow 5 ปีที่แล้ว +515

    * knock knock *
    Me: who’s there?
    Them: joe
    Me: joe who
    Them: jehovas witnesses u want to join our religion

    • @anoemuser310
      @anoemuser310 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      It’s original though.

    • @kaylacc3596
      @kaylacc3596 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@anoemuser310 originally unfunny

    • @anoemuser310
      @anoemuser310 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I didn’t say it was. However at least it wasn’t a copy of other comments.

    • @Snecho
      @Snecho 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      This is funny!

    • @Hellionknow
      @Hellionknow 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Skylar Evans never said it was supposed to be funny

  • @Jireninyourrecommendations
    @Jireninyourrecommendations 5 ปีที่แล้ว +523

    Most of these comments is just everyone trying to become the next Shane Dawson

    • @bradleysiew3621
      @bradleysiew3621 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Why tf do I keep seeing you

    • @cymes82
      @cymes82 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Whom ?

    • @v1oletv0id
      @v1oletv0id 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Jiren in your recommendations a cat fucker?

    • @KurRanze
      @KurRanze 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I see u everywhere wtf

    • @eyeverse7184
      @eyeverse7184 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@ServantOfSatania wow he deleted my comment lmao

  • @djtj5778
    @djtj5778 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    1:05 why does this feel like the least horrible thing to happen in December

  • @dougbanks7777
    @dougbanks7777 5 ปีที่แล้ว +508

    I feel like all of this is bestiality jokes

    • @peoplewhoroleplayincomment4000
      @peoplewhoroleplayincomment4000 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Correction, furry jokes.

    • @princekatana8792
      @princekatana8792 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@peoplewhoroleplayincomment4000 Correction, bestiality jokes

    • @-firathelightpheonix-3117
      @-firathelightpheonix-3117 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@peoplewhoroleplayincomment4000
      Quit being a fucking ignorant person and go talk to real furries where you'll learn that not all of them are zoophiles.

    • @ThatOneLeek
      @ThatOneLeek 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@-firathelightpheonix-3117 Aww, awe you offended? Does wittwe fuwwy-defendew Fiwa feew wike they've been pewsonyawwy attacked? Aww I'm sowwy ;( I'ww pway a sad song fow you on the wowwd's smawwest viowin.

    • @-firathelightpheonix-3117
      @-firathelightpheonix-3117 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@ThatOneLeek
      Nice uwu -speak, that was very "furry" of you. Go read a book, child.
      {Edit} And no, I wasn't personally attacked, I'm just fed up with all of the ignorance in this world.

  • @drizz2237
    @drizz2237 5 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    6:46
    She's up to the plate
    Here comes the pitch
    Oh look at that hit!
    Its going... going... its outta here!!

  • @jerryli6737
    @jerryli6737 5 ปีที่แล้ว +134

    0:00
    ...my initial guess was "They're both snacks"

    • @GemCandy
      @GemCandy 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      I literally thought 'they are both underage?'

    • @thesleepyoc8661
      @thesleepyoc8661 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@GemCandy same

    • @hughjanus2192
      @hughjanus2192 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      *Suicidal

    • @sokkvabekkr5973
      @sokkvabekkr5973 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      i thought "theyre both children"

  • @Bookwurm22
    @Bookwurm22 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    “Why do we eat this fruit? I-Is eating pineapple just some kind of way to establish dominance over the fruit kingdom? “ I spit out my water.

  • @autumnbryant2557
    @autumnbryant2557 5 ปีที่แล้ว +125

    EmKay: "I'm a gran-daddy dom*laughs*I have hard candies! "
    My gutter of a brain: the candies arnt the only things hard :>

  • @Sparkle8205
    @Sparkle8205 5 ปีที่แล้ว +49

    People are like animals.
    If you abuse them, they hate you.

    • @kyoto3695
      @kyoto3695 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      And people are also like snowflakes, if you pee on them, they disappear.

    • @gaelic_geek5709
      @gaelic_geek5709 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      People are like birds. If you kill them, they die.

    • @jewelxiat
      @jewelxiat 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      I don't get the joke here, that's just what happens xP

    • @jakebake0652
      @jakebake0652 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      People are like animals.
      When a babies gender is revealed it’s future is no longer guaranteed

    • @thefutureismeaninglessthep7364
      @thefutureismeaninglessthep7364 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@jewelxiat see the funny thing is, all of our senses of humor is so devolved, we've begun to laugh at stuff like this.... We being the entirety of the internet.

  • @leonardchurch7505
    @leonardchurch7505 5 ปีที่แล้ว +86

    "You want a Wether's Original? The candy's almost as hard as I am."

    • @noone6991
      @noone6991 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Leonard Church werther’s original: chewy toffee.

    • @bookapillar
      @bookapillar 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@noone6991 the original ones are almost tooth breakingly hard, they still make that kind (and a newer coffee flavor too that I am looking at right now lol) but they did indeed create a chewy version I believe in the last 90s or early 2000s

  • @1qxd
    @1qxd 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    2:58
    Fun fact, if you soak steak in ground up pineapple (skin and everything) for about 40 minutes, it makes the steak alot less chewy.

  • @jakeariel3974
    @jakeariel3974 5 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    Bruh when Damien sees a funny jokes he's like "oH yOu'Re sO fUnNy dOn'T yOu"
    But when he tells his own joke that are kinda funny he always laugh

  • @chrishale7480
    @chrishale7480 5 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    Remember kids:
    You can’t spell slaughter without laughter!

    • @melmaraquino5439
      @melmaraquino5439 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      You can't spell Illegal without legal!

  • @Jinnox
    @Jinnox 5 ปีที่แล้ว +165

    Stop, you're only making me stronger with this black magic

  • @shrekwes4957
    @shrekwes4957 4 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    I really regret looking up “tumors with teeth” and clicking images...

  • @dawidtan8
    @dawidtan8 5 ปีที่แล้ว +54

    Me: Iranus Penus
    Damien: Fetus Deletus
    Vatican: Hymnus Pontificius

  • @iankinton9667
    @iankinton9667 5 ปีที่แล้ว +119

    What’s worse than five babies in one dumpster
    One baby in five dumpsters

    • @chimblemasterofchimney4771
      @chimblemasterofchimney4771 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I like the one where they're nailed to trees.

    • @realjooj1296
      @realjooj1296 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      The less babies in dumpsters
      The worse it gets

    • @iankinton9667
      @iankinton9667 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      RealJooJ lolololololololol

    • @isaiahf-d846
      @isaiahf-d846 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      1/5 of a baby per dumpster 5 times

    • @s0up118
      @s0up118 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Oh no

  • @graymudkip1015
    @graymudkip1015 5 ปีที่แล้ว +226

    What do anti-abortionists say?
    “Yeetus the feetus, commit self deletus”

    • @AngeredFiber
      @AngeredFiber 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Repeat chant until fetus is deleted and ejaculated out of the body

    • @r_se
      @r_se 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      It's called pro-life norlt anti-abortion lol.

    • @felixargyle1285
      @felixargyle1285 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@r_se nah its anti abortion

    • @graymudkip1015
      @graymudkip1015 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Rusescu Ioan Radu anti-abortion and pro-life are the same thing
      Besides, I don’t like using the term pro-life because I don’t think it fits properly

    • @freddykrueger9086
      @freddykrueger9086 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@graymudkip1015 you think pro-life "doesnt fit properly" even thought that is the right term? what the hell are you on about

  • @shrs06_
    @shrs06_ 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    3:00 Pineapple's my favorite fruit since I ate it the first time, and now, it is still my favorite.

  • @williamwinder3466
    @williamwinder3466 5 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    3:45 There are types of tumors that can grow teeth, hair, eyes, and organs though.

    • @PeterPansexual
      @PeterPansexual 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @A Random Person look up teratoma

  • @michaelterrencefernandezli6688
    @michaelterrencefernandezli6688 5 ปีที่แล้ว +51

    8:24
    there is also "eat" in "death"

  • @3rdbaseline
    @3rdbaseline 5 ปีที่แล้ว +70

    “We’re edgy and funny”
    *SO WERE DARK, FUNNY, AND FUNNY?*

    • @apollo4294
      @apollo4294 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You double posted
      You double posted

    • @RidhRidh
      @RidhRidh 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      you hav bad grammar

    • @GODOFDRAGONS666
      @GODOFDRAGONS666 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      I disagree, edgy and funny does not equal sick and twisted. To each their own I will say

    • @GODOFDRAGONS666
      @GODOFDRAGONS666 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@RidhRidh have*

    • @superluckyandroid9449
      @superluckyandroid9449 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@GODOFDRAGONS666 it's a joke though, so
      r/whoosh

  • @FlameWing-fi1tx
    @FlameWing-fi1tx 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Who else like Damien the most..?? He's definitely my favorite!!

  • @weird_friend5162
    @weird_friend5162 5 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    "And there will always be an eat in death"

  • @bacca4813
    @bacca4813 5 ปีที่แล้ว +91

    "That's how Mumbo Jumbo was born. Noooo!"
    It's worse for me because I literally just came here from a Hermitcraft episode.

    • @Chris-ts6ie
      @Chris-ts6ie 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I'm still crying laughing in the corner

    • @wilburmeows
      @wilburmeows 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Same I'm crying for 15 minutes now hELP ME PLEASE

    • @Chris-ts6ie
      @Chris-ts6ie 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      My mom came to my room to ask why I was crying so loudly... And saw me on the floor

    • @ninjareal2830
      @ninjareal2830 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Lol

    • @adjacent819
      @adjacent819 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Lol

  • @fluxit5205
    @fluxit5205 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    1:17 this post (minus the cursed part) made me legit cry

  • @ThatPyukumuku
    @ThatPyukumuku 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    3:50
    is it bad that my immediate thought was to add *splat splat* to the end of this?

  • @MegaMyown
    @MegaMyown 5 ปีที่แล้ว +314

    Damien: *pretends he’s getting ghost undead head*
    Me: *cringes*

    • @GamezIdiot
      @GamezIdiot 5 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      *Dont you dare cringe in the face of damien*

    • @jixo6294
      @jixo6294 4 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      Cringing just means you're too weak to handle it

    • @rudylopez2979
      @rudylopez2979 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@jixo6294
      I-
      Good one ✌

    • @screw_a_username7491
      @screw_a_username7491 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      How to make the dislike button show

    • @moro8772
      @moro8772 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Shame 😔

  • @confusedpersonwithacatprof7865
    @confusedpersonwithacatprof7865 5 ปีที่แล้ว +434

    Nobody:
    Not a single person:
    Everything in the galaxy:
    Me: yeetus feetus gender equality deletus.
    Edit: 8:23 *I’ll make it fun*

    • @wanderingsoul5169
      @wanderingsoul5169 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      The 90 days are up Now I can change my name...

    • @vminisfuckingreal998
      @vminisfuckingreal998 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      dude.

    • @beeofwulf
      @beeofwulf 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      after my grandmother's cremation we couldn't find the ashes and the pepper tasted weird

    • @WeevilLover9000
      @WeevilLover9000 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yeetus feetus your face deletus

    • @WeevilLover9000
      @WeevilLover9000 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@beeofwulf
      uh dude what

  • @ncrtrooper1782
    @ncrtrooper1782 5 ปีที่แล้ว +43

    Everybody gangsta untill the person in the casket moves slightly to get confterble

    • @silentvixlet
      @silentvixlet 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Files>>Emotions>>Negative>> -Sad- >>Scared

    • @benschwanke22
      @benschwanke22 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      everybody gangsta till the claymore roomba come around the corner

    • @thealtpandapng
      @thealtpandapng 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Here’s what I recommend you do right now
      1.go to the My Chemical Romance TH-cam channel
      2.find the “Helena” music video
      3.realize that a funeral isn’t complete without the deceased coming back to life.

  • @olivia_is_online8192
    @olivia_is_online8192 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Friends are like birds.
    They die if you kill them.

  • @huntershay2067
    @huntershay2067 5 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    Teenager: Oh crap, mom's gonna kill me
    Fetus: Oh crap, mom's gonna kill me
    Mom: *Heart attack*
    Fetus: Oh never mind
    Teenager: *kills self*
    I apologize in advance

  • @imsosillygoofy
    @imsosillygoofy 5 ปีที่แล้ว +78

    i feel like whenever somethings unfunny damien has to make his own joke to laugh at

    • @ros3m4ries
      @ros3m4ries 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Delete this you ruined the magic

    • @bleh1569
      @bleh1569 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@ros3m4ries ikr

  • @dilobs
    @dilobs 5 ปีที่แล้ว +144

    Why is that kid being bullied hes litterally sans

    • @beeguy2555
      @beeguy2555 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      He better not have any Gaster Blaster

    • @tatakae5339
      @tatakae5339 5 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Bullies: You worthless mistake!
      Kid: Do you wanna have a bad time?...
      Bullies: What?...
      *MEGALOVANIA INTENSIFIES*

    • @Meower_Sophia
      @Meower_Sophia 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      imagine the kid just saying: birds are singing flowers are blooming on days likethese bullies like you should be burning in hell

    • @zeia5472
      @zeia5472 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Them: *bullies the kid*
      Also them: Why do we hear boss music?

    • @awesomegaymer5786
      @awesomegaymer5786 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      likely because it's near impossible to get that condition and the cleft lip without incest

  • @curseds0ldier
    @curseds0ldier 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Friend: how can you not like pineapples on your pizza?
    Me 3:02

  • @squidcoffee
    @squidcoffee 5 ปีที่แล้ว +38

    Me: * wakes up *
    Also me: time to showe-!
    Emkay! * uploads *
    Me: *shower can wait*

    • @Ben_Cartwright
      @Ben_Cartwright 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Then as you start watching the video you feel drops of water on your head

    • @danielthrelfall1946
      @danielthrelfall1946 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Ben Cartwright or drops of radioactive liquid because I installed it
      (Dad’s account I do not want to add this so i g n o r e p l z)

  • @808mitrov
    @808mitrov 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Honestly people who laugh at their own jokes are the best kind of people.

  • @swilson1454
    @swilson1454 5 ปีที่แล้ว +134

    Damien, you should do r/livestreamfails it is what the name says and I think it is good

  • @MrRhino-gu6ni
    @MrRhino-gu6ni 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    8:24 Well of course,and man’s laughter in manslaughter.

  • @martinbefartin
    @martinbefartin 5 ปีที่แล้ว +54

    You guys forgot the most cursed thing ever....
    Comments that ask for likes.

  • @firesleeve6581
    @firesleeve6581 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Pineapple is my favorite food because when you eat it eats you back you got to give credit to such a determined fighter!

  • @prettyboyincc4064
    @prettyboyincc4064 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Once in the middle of class my friend started chanting *fetus deletus* and my whole table joined in. That was one of the best days of my life.

  • @skyreapergamer1832
    @skyreapergamer1832 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    1:17 i WISH i had that eye condition cause then i could go around telling kids that im the real sans undertale

  • @Nylak-Otter
    @Nylak-Otter 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Not gonna lie, I treat meat with a bit of pineapple before seasoning/cooking to start digesting the proteins and tenderize the flesh. It works extremely well.

  • @itztoa5t483
    @itztoa5t483 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    7:31 ITS NATSUKI

  • @AydenGamin
    @AydenGamin 5 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    Ya know, people are like grapes.
    *If ya skin em they bleed*

    • @starsinthedarkness6315
      @starsinthedarkness6315 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I usually just eat them with the skin

    • @TheBrutalGingerBrit8925
      @TheBrutalGingerBrit8925 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      R/cursedcomments

    • @sphee4149
      @sphee4149 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@TheBrutalGingerBrit8925
      r/foundthemobileuser

    • @AlcholicMage
      @AlcholicMage 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      People are also like onions if you skin em they have a meaty layer under thet is a bony layer than you get to the Sweet spot

  • @Miminoichiji
    @Miminoichiji 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    5:02 basically what I tell myself when my parents say I was born during a storm