1:20 According to Google, it would take 1 day, 18 hours, 46 minutes, and 40 seconds for the world's fastest autoclicker to completely annihilate all of humanity.
One friend at my school once said, "What if humans laid giant eggs? Like instead of the child breaking the shell you'd have to know when to break it" so I replied with "What if you had to open up animals so they give birth like humans?"
Damien: *Pretty much just grunts instead of moaning in that one meme* Damien, two seconds later: *Gives an entire paragraph about why he won't contribute to the meme* 7:26 btw
(What) but cold outside (I have to go.) But outside the boy is cold. (Mary) I love you from the inside out (Pause) then hold it in your hand, it will be like ice (I start with a worried mother) You are rude (The boy goes to the floor.) Look at the claim. (I'm sure.) Please (Yes, he only drank half) Going to school, some notes (Thinks Neighbor) This oil is not good (Enter the line.) There is no taxi. (I want to know how) The eyes now look like stars (Recorded later) I took off my hat and wrist (Le-le-le, Pa) Isma (About the best I ever wanted) Why am I so proud? (Command cannot be turned off 1) cannot be used [But] cold, cold outside (I go away) Yes, it's cold outside (No answer) Hi, calm down (Thank you) Have fun (Too hot, your V) Look out the window during a storm (My sister is still coming back.) She is so amazing! (Brother is at the door) You want to enter the tropical ocean (The bride is ugly and beautiful.) Her lips are beautiful. (In another tree) And plant grass (I have to go.) But boy, are you cold or not? (Say, bring me a coat) (Good) I love you because you touch me; (But you can't see) What can you do? (With respect) His future of all the people in my life (And many other side effects) if you die of pneumonia (1 I can not stop) It is too late to escape this problem [Seims] NWA, Kal [But] cold, cold outside
"'Forbidden Bath Bomb' Mmhmmm exclusive one time use" A-aren't all bath bombs one time use? 6/21 Why the hell is this comment still getting traction I said this a year ago
0:26 The woman known for having the most children was a Russian woman who had 69 children. Sixteen (16) pairs of twins, seven (7) sets of triplets, and four (4) sets of quadruplets. Nice.
She had a fun time Ohh wait nevermind she had to give birth 69 times, I take it back, she had a GODDANN WONDERFUL TIME, it wasnt fun, no my friend, IT WAS EXCITING AND AMAZING, I would love to go into labor and give birth 69 times, the only bad part is I'm not dying but it would feel like it.
3:48 i know for a fact that more than one person has contemplated how to kill me c: jokes on them i'm still alive and the only one who can kill me is me
12:31 "Hello. I'm an art student/character designer from the Philippines," Me also art student and from Philippines: Ay, meron pala fan rin kay emkay galing sa philippines. 🙂
4:30 *damien dies* *scooby-doo gang comes* Fred: lets split up gang *everyone splits and he is alone* Damiens body: Im ready freddy. *damien wheeze insert here* Plz notice me damien-chan
Just had that scary "WHAT?!" moment when you are watching a video and it says what sounds like your name in the video when you aren't paying attention. Near heart attack at 2:52.
my friend is a part of a masonic lodge and they keep finding homless ppl in the basement, one time there was one there before a girls group slept over there
7:21 - one time a couple of friends (women) were visiting and we were all sitting in the living room, chatting and having a coffee. Another friend (man) phoned, I answered it, and the two friends who were at my house started calling out, "come back to bed Wolf", "we're getting lonely in here" etc. The friend on the phone is going "what? What does that mean?" I was thinking, "if he doesn't know what that means, then I feel really sorry for his wife!"
11:16 So the grandson gets to be a glass blower too
OHOHO!!!!
**starts hyperventilating**
R/technicallythetruth.
Like grandfather, like grandson
Well he isn't wrong
Damian: _moans_
Damian directly after that: "I'm not gonna moan, i'm not stupid"
Wait when did that happen??
@@grevohsdraws1925 7:31
Tawn Tawn Well I regret wanting the time stamp 😂😂
ah yes,D A M I A N
@Tawn Tawn
uwu
6:23
“YOU FIT IN A SPOoOoOon”
Sub 2pewdiepie thank you
Sub 2pewdiepie soo adorable
that was so cute
6:36 "im gunna name him- hnghg- henwy :3"
YES THATS MY FAV DAMIEN MOMENT EVER AHHH
Damien: I’m not gonna moan, I’m not that dumb.
Also Damien: Moans anyway.
Sir Apple: Posts something
Sir Apple: Ill do it again
CDR-Micheal ninh
I come up with ideas and I have poor self restraint.
Also zero shame, that too.
Me: *Moans excessively at the top of my lungs*
Its more of a..... idk.... scream? AAAAAAAAAAA but quieter so aaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Aiza Gonzalez
Honestly, when they’re wearing a gag those two kinda blend together.
6:12 “omg look at you, you fit in a spoon!”
How Damien said that made me laugh and feel sheer joy
You, you*
GET NOOB Oh ok, I’ll fix my comment
@@TheJoshiePoshie Bruh
@@cbsvevy4718 you gotta do whatcha gotta do
Yummy
1:20 According to Google, it would take 1 day, 18 hours, 46 minutes, and 40 seconds for the world's fastest autoclicker to completely annihilate all of humanity.
Still wouldn't stop getting nuked.
Perfectly balanced, the way all things should be.
I'd run if for two days
@Nicholas Olson : If it makes you feel better, you'd crash the economy _long_ before you reached that point.
*_not if you upgrade it enough_*
Damian's confused voice is spine chilling, as well as his 'cute thing' voice
Damien*
Who's Damian
@@marcozorro7194 Dame DOLLA
So is your profile picture, Jesus christ
Your avatar is spine chilling lol
One friend at my school once said, "What if humans laid giant eggs? Like instead of the child breaking the shell you'd have to know when to break it" so I replied with "What if you had to open up animals so they give birth like humans?"
this is the proof of an happy couple
Kakyoin did you lay this egg?
Welcome to the world… of Pokémon!
(Also, people perform c-sections on cows if their calves are too big)
Damien: *Pretty much just grunts instead of moaning in that one meme*
Damien, two seconds later: *Gives an entire paragraph about why he won't contribute to the meme*
7:26 btw
Omg
7:20*
Unenthusiastic
"Second of all- were you *speed running?!* how do you have 44 children??" -Damian emkay 2019
@Nicholas Olson why do you always say comments like these whyyyyŷyyyy/yyyyyyyyyyyyyttyy
A stutter in the title?
*This Gon Be Good*
🔫🔫🔫
Vibe check complete
Who wants to go fishing with me
@@flixxtk6836 noone
wide dog detecting bad vibes
0:01 *welp....now I know I'm even more Pansexual than I thought I was*
@Batman The Dark Knight boo go away "intellectual"
@@sea_nymph damn, the raw passive aggression in your reply lmao
Wait hol up
@Batman The Dark Knight stfu
@Batman The Dark Knight no its 2020
Guys I'm gonna put the reddit guys moans in this pornography
send link
@ThePurplePlagueDucktor well done.
Call Joe, we have an emergency.
You belong on this subreddit
NO-
6:24
The Way He Said "You Fit In A"
SSSSSSSPOONN
(What) but cold outside
(I have to go.) But outside the boy is cold.
(Mary) I love you from the inside out
(Pause) then hold it in your hand, it will be like ice
(I start with a worried mother) You are rude
(The boy goes to the floor.) Look at the claim.
(I'm sure.) Please
(Yes, he only drank half) Going to school, some notes
(Thinks Neighbor) This oil is not good
(Enter the line.) There is no taxi.
(I want to know how) The eyes now look like stars
(Recorded later) I took off my hat and wrist
(Le-le-le, Pa) Isma
(About the best I ever wanted) Why am I so proud?
(Command cannot be turned off 1) cannot be used
[But] cold, cold outside
(I go away) Yes, it's cold outside
(No answer) Hi, calm down
(Thank you) Have fun
(Too hot, your V) Look out the window during a storm
(My sister is still coming back.) She is so amazing!
(Brother is at the door) You want to enter the tropical ocean
(The bride is ugly and beautiful.) Her lips are beautiful.
(In another tree) And plant grass
(I have to go.) But boy, are you cold or not?
(Say, bring me a coat)
(Good) I love you because you touch me;
(But you can't see) What can you do?
(With respect) His future of all the people in my life
(And many other side effects) if you die of pneumonia
(1 I can not stop) It is too late to escape this problem
[Seims] NWA, Kal
[But] cold, cold outside
6:21 My favourite Damien moment ever omg
Because hamster
“Is that a little guy? Look at you, you fit in a SPPPPOOOOOON!”
“Henwry”
Sounds like the average grandma
emkay having a cursed comment himself
"were you speedrunning?"
Damien slowly turning into an anime girl tho
@Pit rock Are you illiterate?
Juan Cortez Muro You uneducated swine bumbo
Juan Cortez Muro Bot.
Juan Cortez Muro ur mom gai
Like I know you’re a bot and are unable to read this but fuck you I hate bots-
10:07 Honestly I'd actually like that loading screen tip power, sounds very useful.
“When you realise you have a hair on your screen”
*when you realise your looking a a hair on screen meme and you find a hair on your screen*
Lol, ikr
Same
i didn't have a hair on my screen but i tried to swipe the hair away....
"'Forbidden Bath Bomb' Mmhmmm exclusive one time use"
A-aren't all bath bombs one time use?
6/21 Why the hell is this comment still getting traction I said this a year ago
When they mean one time use,
They mean your life.
I think One time use means...
Last bathbomb you will ever get to use.
Not if ya recycle the water
but this one is special, it can be reused.
Ultimate bath bomb
“Make it his last.” 💀
Mom said i couldn’t bring my mp3 to school...
so i brought my mp5
I brought my saiga-12
Gonna teach em a lesson...
So I brought my Glock-15
this speaks to me.
I brought a Kriss Vector.
Its faster than that
4:38 this is so cursed like WORSE THAN THE ACTUAL COMMENT
Yeeeaaaah..
They also won't ask who's up there up in the bedroom once they realize the brother and sister are not at the dining table.
DraconicReconcile um
me: *sleeps*
loading screen tip:
*How To Survive a House Fire*
me: wait what the actual frick?
Eh.
*Sleeps*
*Tip: How to survive deadly chemicals*
Imsorrywhat
Time to go to bed!
*Sleeps*
Tip: How to diagnose Aids
Excuse me
@Nicholas Olson nuh uh uh
i don't need those tips to do that already
**Epic Game Notice**
Forcefully feeding a wild wolf human bones will NOT make them into a dog
Instead ya feed the wolf to the thing in my basement and it doesn't go on a rampage
Smash it Tv wait really crap that’s why they keep dying
@Yagirlcass ikr don’t know how many pups I’ve killed (i do 43)
6:25 the way Damien says spoon is just so filled with joy and wonder it makes me feel really good about life
Cursed comments in a nutshell
*"Dead things that I find sexy"*
That newborn baby will do, I suppose. Even though I don't know it's alive or dead...**sighs**
*Unzips pants*
@@rezandrarizkyirianto-1933 Just slap it on the back and see if it burps. Either way works. Just, ones not as pleasant as the other.
@@draconicreconcile Just one slap on the back, and if it wasn't dead before it won't make a difference
@@rezandrarizkyirianto-1933 hey if i dont know an ant is dead i step on it, so if you dont know its dead shoot it at point blank
Is it just me or does Damien just have the best laugh ever? 😂
No one can convince me that Damien and Zach aren't in a secret relationship.
And I love it.
4:55 that's mean😂😂 as a wheelchair user, i almost felt attacked lmao
Wow, thanks for the heart
@@lucarudloff687 Congratulations on the heart 😃
I hate that I know the exact brand and model of the...
*Ahem* dinosaurs
What are they?
@@ZERO4LIFE young boy you will know soon
@@ZERO4LIFE .... IM NOT GETTING DAMEN DEMONITIZED.... But they're Tentacle Di--os
Are they Bad Dragon?
@@lostinthestars_ They are, yes. Also more for novelty than utility. They really don't go up a bum too easy but they're cool to look at
Emkay: *sees cute animal* hoohoohoo
New scientific discovery, Damian is SANTA
@Shoto Todoroki right, “I’m Santa Hoohoohoo”
0:22
**Christmas comes**
The mom:Sweats violently
Damien when hears someone else has the same common name: WHAT?!
"It fits in a little spOOOON"
-Damien 2019
Mr. Bologne Sandwich
NO
Dollface _studios lol
The way he says “He fits in a SPOON” is somehow cuter than the creature itself.
0:26
The woman known for having the most children was a Russian woman who had 69 children. Sixteen (16) pairs of twins, seven (7) sets of triplets, and four (4) sets of quadruplets.
Nice.
nice
*NOICE*
The man who had the most children I think had over 400.
She had a fun time
Ohh wait nevermind she had to give birth 69 times, I take it back, she had a GODDANN WONDERFUL TIME, it wasnt fun, no my friend, IT WAS EXCITING AND AMAZING, I would love to go into labor and give birth 69 times, the only bad part is I'm not dying but it would feel like it.
Ooh I've heard of her. I think her name was Valentina Treshkova or smthn
3:48 i know for a fact that more than one person has contemplated how to kill me c:
jokes on them i'm still alive and the only one who can kill me is me
Not if you kill him first
We'll see about that
So you're Hitler?
Is it just me or is Damiens laugh just so wholesome
Damien: *moans*
"I'm not gonna moan."
That's... not how that works...
Me: On the phone with my mom
The Bois: Pass The WEED
10:13 imagine when you're going to get some sheered cheese on the refrigerator and you heavily blink then you see "find a hiding spot in 36 seconds"
"Were you speedrunning? How do you have 44 children?" Best quote yet!
Damian: reads something strangely disturbing, also Damian: laughs every single time
People: Roast Me
Me: Damn I'ma need to buy another commercial smoker.
Emkay: Sees cursed coment
Also Emkay: *MAKES AN EVEN MORE CURSED COMMENT*
when robin does it he says whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy but proceds to still do it
That hiding the dead body comment is how I play hide and go seek.
6:11...
“a spoon that’s full of sugar helps the medicine go down”
6:24 that sounds like audio from a Berd video
12:31
"Hello. I'm an art student/character designer from the Philippines,"
Me also art student and from Philippines: Ay, meron pala fan rin kay emkay galing sa philippines. 🙂
Aye pilipino
who else is watching this on a toaster?
wcesanai im more of a smart fridge guy
I personally use Gucci Smart Socks.
Sorry I’m using air
this must be what setting 9 is for, toaster tv
You can’t watch this on a toaster... People are so dumb
8:38
I kind of agree
That kid looks like the anti christ
He looks like Gilbert from The Incredibles.
@@SLENDERFREAK5127 naw he looks like one of the muppets
SLENDERFREAK5127 I THOUGHT THE SAME THINGGGGG
2:51 Whats ironic is that my name is Sebastian, but more as “Sebastián”
He’s an art student let that sink in any historical events come to mind
4:30 *damien dies*
*scooby-doo gang comes*
Fred: lets split up gang
*everyone splits and he is alone*
Damiens body: Im ready freddy.
*damien wheeze insert here*
Plz notice me damien-chan
WHAT THE FREAK
@@cutiepaaii love truley exist sometimes XD
*damien wheeze here*
THANK YOU DAMIEN :D irl i screed when i seen you liked the comment.
Ready Freddy so get on the beddy
Reddit:
Emkay: I'm not going to moan *here* .
ever since i wandered too far off into the r/cursedcomments, my friends know me for the nsfw anime pics and comments.
ILL NEVER FORGIVE THE JAPANESE
6:22 "spOOnnn" that was the cutest thing i-
6:09 Damian getting excited over an itty bitty hamster just made my whole year
Why did the donor at the sperm bank was fired,
.
.
.
.
he was caught drinking on job...
Being a donor doesn't mean you work there
Lmao
My favorite
@@ashishere771 your favourite drink?
r/engrish
is this what being early feels like
yes indeed it is
Welcome to the pact
I guess
You have 69 likes and I am determined to keep it that way
@@FridaJo_ I'm gonna ruin it
"One time use bath bomb" What bath bomb has multiple uses, Damien?
Muriyaa Animation if you puke the water after drinking it you can drink it again.
If you swallow the water, it’ll feel *extra good*
The cluster bomb kind
I love it when Damien calls something a little guy. It’s so pure
0:38 that isn't r/cursedcomments that's r/murderedbywords
Perhaps even r/rareinsults
Bro turned into an old man for a second there
Me: Trying to relax and watch some EmKay
Ad: StEpHeN hOrSfOrD
BOSG ACOG
D
3:28 So this is why piss sprays everywhere when i try urinal...
I was born with a smoothbore urethra!
you know you didn't have to say smoothbore urethra right you could have spared us that image
Totenkopf ßänß please refrain from using “smoothbore” and “urethra” in one sentence
but smoothbores can shoot farther, so...
also gives a whole new meaning to "shooting your load"
Rishi Das STOP
"Hey Toby on the Tele! I love that guy!"
Me: *heavy breathing*
s a me
"I'd be a hot demon"
-Damien from EmKay, 2019
Legendary zombie apocalypse strategy: eat as many painkillers and sleep meds as possible before you fall asleep
6:22 I got this guys.
Ahem. “A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, in the most delightful way!”
What is that though? It’s so cute!
Is that a Mary Poppins reference?
1:16
The person that dies is the person that clicked it
Cursed comment:
You know what's better than 5 kids nailed to a tree?
*1 kid nailed to 50 different trees.*
What's black and pink and has 20 nipples?
The trashcan behind the cancer ward
Eh, not as bad as Jesus being nailed to a cross.
@@draconicreconcile 50 different crosses*
*Yin Yang* how can a child get nailed to 50 different trees
@@youraveragetroller4467 a circular saw
Just had that scary "WHAT?!" moment when you are watching a video and it says what sounds like your name in the video when you aren't paying attention. Near heart attack at 2:52.
"OMG lOok aT yOu!!! YoU fIt iN a SpOoOoOoooOOn!!!! *giggles*"
- Damian 2019
"Where's the scissors? My Weiner is too long." "In the Junk drawer."
That right there deserves a like lol.
Why not put it in the trash can?
For the first one. That means the oldest child is about 40 yrs old and the youngest is probably around 1. My mind no worky no mor
6:22 “Oh my god, look at you! You fit in a spooooooon!”
That way he said spoon
Jake james it was so cute how he said it
6:23
*Damien sees an animal that is small*
Damien:LITTLE GUY
Emkay is the funniest reddit reading youtuber i have ever seen
1:57
Oh! Connect 4! Im great at that.
-and nothing else-
I'm not good at anything
8:35 the kid looks like mr Incredibles boss
Oh yea he does, he even is hurt.
3:49 trying to get into a dedicated relationship with the being that is me
Something about the way you said he fits in a spoon cured my depression some how, thank you man
The Epilepsi made me laugh more than it should, I almost had one myself...
E-jaculantern? LOL. Good one, Em Kay.
He didn't create it, though....
I actually never been this early before.
Yoo I know the first commenter at 7:12
But oh boy that reply surely is filled with *despair*
I-I feel like you are referncing Danganronpa...
my friend is a part of a masonic lodge and they keep finding homless ppl in the basement, one time there was one there before a girls group slept over there
6:25 “SpOoN!!” Ah I love how you said spoon
As a pansexual, that first joke is overused.
But it’s freaking _amazing_
0:47
Toby : *comes out as trans, gets diagnosed with gender dysphoria*
Damien: Hey, i love that guy!
Wtf?
6:59 hey I’ve seen that commenter before
Where?
7:21 - one time a couple of friends (women) were visiting and we were all sitting in the living room, chatting and having a coffee. Another friend (man) phoned, I answered it, and the two friends who were at my house started calling out, "come back to bed Wolf", "we're getting lonely in here" etc. The friend on the phone is going "what? What does that mean?" I was thinking, "if he doesn't know what that means, then I feel really sorry for his wife!"
10:30 I hate that when I'm chopping up lumber to use for firewood and it spills out with human intestines. Damn eldritch woods.
I sincerely regret to inform everyone that the human urethra is NOT, in fact, rifled.
It is not NATURALLY rifled
Mine is
@@lfestevao Now wait just a minute-
Damien: "iD bE a HoT dEmOn!!!"
Who wouldn't?
5:07
Oh Damien, you sweet summer child.
Listening to Damien gush over cute animals is absolutely adorable
My " I don't get paid enough for this" moment is every moment.