NWO Checkpoint | ASMR

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 19 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 2.3K

  • @Dimentio36
    @Dimentio36 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4451

    ER 2013: "What if I made an ASMR roleplay series where the government has banned candy and you have to go visit a black market dealer to get candy? I think that would be cool"
    ER 2020: "The letter A is contraband"

    • @mostlysilentlistener893
      @mostlysilentlistener893 4 ปีที่แล้ว +242

      *Contr*b*nd

    • @gee_dubya
      @gee_dubya 4 ปีที่แล้ว +159

      Sir, the letter [REDACTED] is B*nned, you will be t*ken into custody immedi*tely

    • @azathoththe3rd
      @azathoththe3rd 4 ปีที่แล้ว +131

      ***dly the letter ** w** *l*o b*nned from the *lph*bet. Now we w*it to t*ke *weet revenge upon the NWO.

    • @shrug1250
      @shrug1250 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      xanadu sshh, no spoilers

    • @bnha_furryboi_gacha2069
      @bnha_furryboi_gacha2069 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      U should lol what a unique idea lol! (And in not lying.)

  • @nicks2658
    @nicks2658 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4312

    For a second I thought he was actually going to take my pipe bomb from me.

    • @jdmnissan
      @jdmnissan 4 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      Gotem

    • @Forlorn_Overseer
      @Forlorn_Overseer 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      @@jdmnissan Hey Jeff tell Joe I said hi

    • @denniscowe3289
      @denniscowe3289 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      707yorkie Le who’s Jeff

    • @ListenerDB
      @ListenerDB 4 ปีที่แล้ว +69

      @@denniscowe3289 Jeff mama

    • @denniscowe3289
      @denniscowe3289 4 ปีที่แล้ว +72

      Mr. Burns He’s a little confused but he’s got the spirit

  • @Argomundo
    @Argomundo 4 ปีที่แล้ว +420

    I fully expected the last thing he pulls out to be a Neuralyzer, and thats how we got a clean record

    • @JBUG-mx4ev
      @JBUG-mx4ev 4 ปีที่แล้ว +47

      Just use the time stone to yeet before the search and get rid of the contraband

  • @pyram1d207
    @pyram1d207 3 ปีที่แล้ว +642

    I like how nobody’s talking about how we had the time stone just casually lying in our rucksack.

    • @games_fusion1393
      @games_fusion1393 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Why don't we use the time stone to remove all the contraband from our rucksack? That's borderline insane

    • @berrynation4251
      @berrynation4251 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@games_fusion1393 we do

    • @aidanadkins5922
      @aidanadkins5922 3 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      @@5L1G_Zeref Unfortunately, the one and only limitation of the infinity stones is that they only work in their own universe. Here, they're about as useful as a paperweight.

    • @jadetheslime3140
      @jadetheslime3140 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      timestamp?

    • @Flutter_Aeina
      @Flutter_Aeina 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      We use them as paperweights

  • @Please-ic1bh
    @Please-ic1bh 4 ปีที่แล้ว +808

    “I’m gonna need to enter this into you’re record, which was clean. Until now.” Haven’t gotten around to banning passive-aggressiveness yet have we?

    • @Jomo667alt
      @Jomo667alt 4 ปีที่แล้ว +60

      NWO Officers are exempt from the bans.

    • @glitchtrap9112
      @glitchtrap9112 4 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      @@Jomo667alt yes exactly so we can use passive-agressiveness

    • @promeneuzivotu117
      @promeneuzivotu117 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@Jomo667alt but what if privilages get banned?

    • @braedenfluke5050
      @braedenfluke5050 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@promeneuzivotu117 We're exempt from that ban also.

    • @abel_amado
      @abel_amado 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@braedenfluke5050 Exempt from the exemption ban

  • @ceranopierce
    @ceranopierce 4 ปีที่แล้ว +572

    I love how all of the old video types are returning

    • @chrisbade2119
      @chrisbade2119 4 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      I just need my fix of the Clemmons brothers, Iggy Manley and Deep One Dave and I'm set

    • @notsocrazytank707
      @notsocrazytank707 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@chrisbade2119 Clemsons brothers? There is more than one?

    • @repatomonor21
      @repatomonor21 4 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      It would be about time to find out if the Plastic Pouch Predicament is curable. Or if the Couch Companion finally crawls out of the couch. Or regarding the state of Charlie Baggs.

    • @chrisbade2119
      @chrisbade2119 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Not so Crazy Tank William and Corvus. I think they might be twins actually

    • @edwardbeatty5227
      @edwardbeatty5227 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yes queen

  • @Mr.Animemeguy
    @Mr.Animemeguy 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4536

    Officer: "You should be outta here in 3 - 4 minutes tops"
    Me: *Checks Video Length*
    *Sweats profusely*

    • @connorwoodwards7668
      @connorwoodwards7668 4 ปีที่แล้ว +122

      Mr. Animemeguy
      Me: So that was a f*cking lie

    • @RealBomoth
      @RealBomoth 4 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      Damnit, I was gonna comment that!

    • @beanie640
      @beanie640 4 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      I knew I was gonna find this.

    • @Mr.Animemeguy
      @Mr.Animemeguy 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      @@RealBomoth Beat ya to it I guess. Maybe next time, my friend.

    • @davidwhite9916
      @davidwhite9916 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      That's literally what I was going to type to lol

  • @GankbotShuk
    @GankbotShuk 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3004

    The fact that you just said: "Out." and not 'over and out' earned you a like. Thank you for using the proper terminology.

    • @wallonmcwoolworth819
      @wallonmcwoolworth819 4 ปีที่แล้ว +100

      I picked up on this also. Way to go ER.

    • @GankbotShuk
      @GankbotShuk 4 ปีที่แล้ว +63

      @GoTi4No I know. Hence why I commented...

    • @iNotAnHacker
      @iNotAnHacker 4 ปีที่แล้ว +257

      The proper term is actually “overerlyest’ve” meaning that you have finished talking and intend to return to your old home in the Nebraskan countryside

    • @ereynolds72
      @ereynolds72 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      GoTi4No he knows

    • @Snottco
      @Snottco 4 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      My grandfather used "over and out" whilst serving. Guess it's probably due to generation or location idk

  • @DellKaGor
    @DellKaGor 4 ปีที่แล้ว +564

    Take a shot everytime Officer Murray says "contraband"
    that is if hard drinks haven't been banned.

    • @weebwhacker6217
      @weebwhacker6217 3 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      If so, straight vinegar.

    • @games_fusion1393
      @games_fusion1393 3 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      @@weebwhacker6217 vinegar had been banned

    • @SuperAngel1345
      @SuperAngel1345 3 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      We know what happened last time alcohol was banned

    • @DellKaGor
      @DellKaGor 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@SuperAngel1345 better pay your taxes

    • @weebwhacker6217
      @weebwhacker6217 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@games_fusion1393 but not the cider vinegar

  • @thelemon0001
    @thelemon0001 4 ปีที่แล้ว +157

    Officer Murray is seriously my favourite character. :D He's such a perfect example of the average working man. Working his ass off for a low job in a corrupt system that doesn't care about him. And always takes the small opportunities he can to think about himself in the middle of it. So understandable and real.

  • @TheDamisen
    @TheDamisen 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3025

    Officer:
    “I’m sure you’re an upstanding citizen”
    Me who has spent the last year+ getting illegal items from the __ man’s:
    “... yup.”

    • @Baggeb0
      @Baggeb0 4 ปีที่แล้ว +41

      I wonder how the blank man's manage to slip through NWO checkpoints...or not get caught at all..

    • @brandbaard
      @brandbaard 4 ปีที่แล้ว +63

      @@Baggeb0 It's cuz they clearly look identical to NWO security guards!

    • @yourejustchildish2554
      @yourejustchildish2554 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Metin Ünlü maybe they weren’t banned

    • @EcdElite
      @EcdElite 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Where’d u get this book. Me: 😐😐😐😐😐

    • @dolandank.2976
      @dolandank.2976 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Wait... did u get a free N word pass?

  • @lillianfox6848
    @lillianfox6848 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1755

    deadly weapons: absolutely fine
    harmless random objects: *lemme stop you right there*

    • @michaelmyers5663
      @michaelmyers5663 4 ปีที่แล้ว +39

      Don’t forget the rubber chicken

    • @marekdolezel1991
      @marekdolezel1991 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Furry good

    • @blitzkrieg7353
      @blitzkrieg7353 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@marekdolezel1991 no.

    • @haiderkarkamaz6466
      @haiderkarkamaz6466 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I was going to write this but thought of something funnier but still there are people who’s ideas get posted by others

    • @stevengardiner4119
      @stevengardiner4119 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      You got the joke, good job.

  • @vitsecharo1853
    @vitsecharo1853 4 ปีที่แล้ว +651

    Officer Murray has a pretty interesting career: first - security officer at Arkham Sanitarium, now he works for the New world order. That's a career progression.

    • @jacobfederici3710
      @jacobfederici3710 4 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      Lol wasn’t it Arkham mall at first

    • @craigbainton4173
      @craigbainton4173 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Jacob Federici yep

    • @iveros8481
      @iveros8481 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Now he's a security officer for the wrestling group nWo

    • @clecanadalawexplained6330
      @clecanadalawexplained6330 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Jacob Federici Yes, he did. He’s quickly becoming one of my favourite minor characters in Rift World, right up there with Deep One Dave and Tinfoil Tim Tin Tipperman.

    • @Solar_Inferno
      @Solar_Inferno 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Peasant - all powerful being

  • @Karma-ji6ud
    @Karma-ji6ud 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2942

    Me: My apologies, I've come from an alternative reality you see... One where these things have not been banned...
    Security Guard: Oh I see... But are you aware that interdimensional travel has also been banned?
    Me: Well shit.

    • @strife9265
      @strife9265 4 ปีที่แล้ว +89

      it was worth the shot

    • @glitchtrap9112
      @glitchtrap9112 4 ปีที่แล้ว +72

      Well uh ya see I came from hell...so it wasn't really interdimensional travel but it was...selling my soul

    • @naughtymelon6712
      @naughtymelon6712 4 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      @Glitch Trap thanks for that by the way. Just another one to add to my collection.

    • @codymorris6702
      @codymorris6702 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      How d*re you don’t you know the letter (REDACTED) is b*nned

    • @romeovega4765
      @romeovega4765 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      LMAO

  • @ronin858
    @ronin858 4 ปีที่แล้ว +242

    *pulls out pipe bomb*
    Me: “Shouldn’t be an issue”
    *pulls out candy*
    Me: *nervously wipes sweat off forehead* “uhhhh, I can explain!”

  • @ian_grin7283
    @ian_grin7283 4 ปีที่แล้ว +872

    You have the right to remain relaxed. Resistance will result in forced relaxation.

    • @Caitlin939Cow
      @Caitlin939Cow 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Yo love Chelsea grin

    • @BritishPanda
      @BritishPanda 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Ian _grin There’s something I find entertaining about the Ashes To Ashes album cover pfp on an asmr vid haha, love that band though

    • @AWACS_Snowblind
      @AWACS_Snowblind 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      _RELAX! DROP THE STRESS! STOP RESISTING! RELAX-_

    • @stewiegriffin7237
      @stewiegriffin7237 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      👀

    • @ian_grin7283
      @ian_grin7283 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Phobia Star ;)

  • @xandermurdock6131
    @xandermurdock6131 4 ปีที่แล้ว +760

    (Log 2)
    An associate of mine nearly got caught by a security officer at a checkpoint. Evidently, the guard checked his bag and the secret compartments. The associate got off with a verbal warning. Unfortunately, the items were confiscated.
    Thankfully, he didn't find the sugary snacks and tinfoil AK-47 in the SECRET secret compartment.
    I've also continued my infiltration efforts. I've managed to steal a large chunk of intelligence and now have the location of an item known as "Grandma's Secret Pasta Sauce Recipe." Investigation ongoing.
    Will update as events warrant. Out.

    • @flim_flam_shrim_shram6653
      @flim_flam_shrim_shram6653 4 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      Dr.t reference?

    • @stewiegriffin7237
      @stewiegriffin7237 4 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      Copy that, comerade. Proceed with caution

    • @Solar_Inferno
      @Solar_Inferno 4 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      Did he find anything in the SeCrEt SECRET secret compartment with the tinfoil hat and get outta jail free card?

    • @stewiegriffin7237
      @stewiegriffin7237 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      @@Solar_Inferno thats too risky for him. Get out of jail free cards are banned

    • @benchristensen9035
      @benchristensen9035 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Xander Murdock there was no need to worry he is an undercover Tin Foil Hat Society agent

  • @PieceOfSchmidtt_Games
    @PieceOfSchmidtt_Games 4 ปีที่แล้ว +761

    ER:"You should be out of here in 3/4 mins tops"
    Me:*looks at time of video*
    Video: *is over an hour long*

    • @jakubpopowski3887
      @jakubpopowski3887 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Same

    • @babyYoda97
      @babyYoda97 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      😅

    • @sergiovergaramontemiranda2116
      @sergiovergaramontemiranda2116 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      This a a 3/4in asmr what do you mean?,
      Your time persection is altered i suggest than you go to the sanatorium for that my friend

    • @Rafael-vm7kj
      @Rafael-vm7kj 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      The video is so good that 1 hour just seems like 3-4min

    • @fishfishrun1207
      @fishfishrun1207 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Looks like I had a bag full of drugs dead hookers and all of the contraband from the Mans

  • @woofywoofy1689
    @woofywoofy1689 4 ปีที่แล้ว +677

    plot twist: he's just a very sophisticated thief, and the real checkpoint officer is gagged under the desk.

  • @Timebomb_19
    @Timebomb_19 4 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    I love how you actually type the object names.

  • @elliothayes1333
    @elliothayes1333 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1895

    Video Idea: Planning a heist to break into the NWO warehouse to reclaim everything that was banned

    • @ct918
      @ct918 4 ปีที่แล้ว +45

      Nothing man, tinfoil man and nothing man together

    • @justinthompson7238
      @justinthompson7238 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@ct918 buddy..

    • @nickofgames5740
      @nickofgames5740 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      not an reference at all -murky water

    • @surthing6711
      @surthing6711 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      You fool, there are multiple warehouses scatterd around the world. You cant reclaim everything from one heist.

    • @endermage77
      @endermage77 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Which warehouse?

  • @nannerbutter
    @nannerbutter 4 ปีที่แล้ว +251

    er holding that camcorder like hes trying to figure out which side to start eating it from

    • @sparkkoo0
      @sparkkoo0 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      that grilled cheese camcorder must be so good

    • @felix_spark7839
      @felix_spark7839 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Teodor Gerov ooooo what if it’s deep fried

    • @fameolife
      @fameolife 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Do you eat your camcorders with or without the cassettes

  • @flopanator
    @flopanator 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1340

    They may have banned sitting and lying down,
    But they never banned squatting
    *TURNS UP SLAV MUSIC*

    • @flyingfloorboard4097
      @flyingfloorboard4097 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      *UNTIL ME*

    • @aidanmcneely9704
      @aidanmcneely9704 4 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      Until 2025 when communism is illegal

    • @evanardelean7389
      @evanardelean7389 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      MUSIC IS ILLIGAL

    • @luda0512
      @luda0512 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      slavic music has nothing to do with squatting, hardbass maybe does

    • @luda0512
      @luda0512 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Tate Nakashima why are you typing gibberish in cyryllic? stop

  • @adelaidecruse2145
    @adelaidecruse2145 4 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    i love how ER's hair and facial hair changes so dramatically over time, it gives all the different characters unique looks as well as personality

  • @nervecentral
    @nervecentral 4 ปีที่แล้ว +152

    I never thought I would say the following sentence: “The sound of unscrewing that pipe bomb was very relaxing.”
    Ps: Great work - love the sense of humor.

  • @albertahall3624
    @albertahall3624 4 ปีที่แล้ว +698

    Officer: “I’m sure you’re an upstanding citizen.”
    Me: Lying down in bed, falling asleep to asmr “Welllll....”

    • @TheSammami
      @TheSammami 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Haha oh my god took me a second.

    • @jdmnissan
      @jdmnissan 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Took me too long ...

    • @superbob1906
      @superbob1906 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      And because you fell asleep you are tonight’s biggest loser

    • @aerodynamichotdog
      @aerodynamichotdog 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Are you aware that falling asleep, laying down, and listening to ASMR are all banned?

    • @calblack4156
      @calblack4156 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@aerodynamichotdog Us officers of the NWO are exempt from these bans

  • @TheChoosenOne187
    @TheChoosenOne187 4 ปีที่แล้ว +409

    Officer Murray: "Oh, a brain. Is this yours?
    Actually cracked me up ngl

    • @sans5808
      @sans5808 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Robert Holder 25 Your profile pic translates to sponge man ice cone

    • @rickgrimes_69420
      @rickgrimes_69420 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      im crazy ok just take a look at this:

    • @rickgrimes_69420
      @rickgrimes_69420 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      hey dude how do i was the night last week you got me a a hoodie or a tank army hoodie for you bruh was a great day for me and my dad to get me back home i was a great day i is is that a tank of gas masks are on my car and then go to the town where you are and what do ya want to me and i go get away with it haha was the way you are the one who is in love your way you can just go get away and then do it again i was like that was the best thing you could ever get for it to do so you wanna is is your day and i was a great night i is is your day and the moon and your back in a good zombie apocalypse you are so good omg was a great night and i is is your birthday 🎁 i dont wanna day i was a great 👍 morning and a merry go home 🏠 night i did i is a day that we can get to go get some sleep 🛏 night is gonna the game you play a game of your life.

    • @supergamerhell5110
      @supergamerhell5110 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@rickgrimes_69420 are you talking to yourself?

    • @rickgrimes_69420
      @rickgrimes_69420 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@supergamerhell5110 my brain was going crazy

  • @lankyboi2521
    @lankyboi2521 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2962

    “Im sure you’re an upstanding citizen”
    People who are in wheelchairs: well yes but actually no

    • @purpleblob704
      @purpleblob704 4 ปีที่แล้ว +49

      Best comment. 10/10

    • @Hypergen-
      @Hypergen- 4 ปีที่แล้ว +63

      But the NWO banned wheelchairs

    • @rustlerv6549
      @rustlerv6549 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Wheels is an upstanding errr upsitting citizen

    • @finn8665
      @finn8665 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Oof size: LARGE

    • @Cowman2626
      @Cowman2626 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Unless they kill someone

  • @soggyapples1518
    @soggyapples1518 2 ปีที่แล้ว +89

    I assure you officer, I’m merely a courier to deliver these items, I’m not permitted to rummage through them.

    • @FrogEnthusiast_TheOneAndOnly
      @FrogEnthusiast_TheOneAndOnly 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I am the one at fault, thanks for delivering the items, I will have you reward prepared and waiting with the “man” man

  • @SakuyalzayoiTheMaid
    @SakuyalzayoiTheMaid 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    *_Checking the gunpowder inside a pipebomb to be sure there is no contraband inside is a sure practice my sir. Good job._*

  • @jacobski4824
    @jacobski4824 4 ปีที่แล้ว +502

    “Honey, what are you doing? It’s time for dinner.”
    “Just making a pipe bomb I’ll be right up”

    • @yourmomsafurry1971
      @yourmomsafurry1971 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I do that all the time!

    • @saihv
      @saihv 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      sorry, significant others are banned.

    • @jimbothetimbo6790
      @jimbothetimbo6790 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      He got divorced :(

    • @Airgialla32
      @Airgialla32 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      *S.A.M song plays in the distance*

    • @anthrazite
      @anthrazite 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@jimbothetimbo6790 Whut?

  • @itsyaboimason7069
    @itsyaboimason7069 4 ปีที่แล้ว +816

    "you should be out of here in 3-4 minutes tops"
    **proceeds to sit in silence for 1 hour 6 minutes and 50 seconds while he slowly checks my bag**
    (Edit: ASMR idea, The viewer and a friend [you] [[Possibly Benjamin]] being freshly recruited by the NWO excitedly browse through the banned and confiscated items, examining them, tasting them [if they are eatable], and talking about the items if they are interesting, talking about what bans that you think are dumb, how you and the viewer like their new job.)

    • @hammedburger3712
      @hammedburger3712 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Edible not eatable

    • @shanf1639
      @shanf1639 4 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      @@hammedburger3712 shut up pope, go drown in the Roman peninsula.

    • @Toastandtea682
      @Toastandtea682 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Glad you shaved that shit of your face

    • @mustardman1040
      @mustardman1040 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Shannon 510th this is such an oddly specific insult lmao beautiful

    • @prettyblaq7574
      @prettyblaq7574 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Well... I was going to say that I thought the original idea was pretty cool, but since the other comments have taken a turn.... I'm just gonna sit this here and uh.... Good day/night everyone ✌️✌️

  • @ethantaylor9613
    @ethantaylor9613 4 ปีที่แล้ว +145

    Last time they cornered the spam man they lost 15 agents on account of him being a goddamn Viking

  • @CrypticOfThUnderworld
    @CrypticOfThUnderworld ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Wow the oil can trigger is very very satisfying.

  • @Morpheus-wt7yb
    @Morpheus-wt7yb 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Is nobody talking about, that BAKING has been banned? Not even a service or an item, but baking in general. Paired with all kitchen utensils. If shops have been banned as well, the only grain you get is raw, if it´s not yet banned too. Now I´m scared of the future!

  • @shlapnut_6666
    @shlapnut_6666 4 ปีที่แล้ว +90

    "Oh you got a clean record"
    Little did he know i had the cleaning man clear my record huehuehue

  • @LorreMaitale
    @LorreMaitale 4 ปีที่แล้ว +93

    I’m surprised there haven’t been any “Big Brother” references like in 1984. Would fit really well into the NWO. Even better would be a video set in 1984 (the book). Would be cool to see you talk about the Party, thoughtcrime, etc.

    • @stewiegriffin7237
      @stewiegriffin7237 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Also reminds me the animations of 'Autodale' on youtube

    • @TheDismissor
      @TheDismissor 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Phobia Star 1984 was banned that’s why

    • @stewiegriffin7237
      @stewiegriffin7237 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@TheDismissor ah

    • @enriqueiglesias3176
      @enriqueiglesias3176 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@TheDismissor why was it banned

    • @JeiPegOfARaptor
      @JeiPegOfARaptor 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Oh boy thoughtcrime. Dont even think about Big Brother in any wrong way in your sleep or they'll be down on you quicker than bees on flowers

  • @froglover6998
    @froglover6998 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Ive been watching you for about two years now and i just cant even explain how much i love your work. The acting is convincing enough that the characters dont even seem dumb even when theyre over the top or just strange. its good stuff. And you can crank all these crazy ideas out without it even sounding absurd its just cool sci fi lore.

  • @jimmypadgett4288
    @jimmypadgett4288 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    You deserve way more subscribers for the work you put in. Seriously, keep it up!

  • @starwarsiscooll
    @starwarsiscooll 4 ปีที่แล้ว +119

    "If you're caught with a pencil ✏, you can be pUbIcLy ExEcUtEd FoR tHaT"

  • @Amadeus55555
    @Amadeus55555 4 ปีที่แล้ว +43

    Ya know, for us the viewer, this is very relaxing. But imagine what it’s like for the person in the vid, having one item that has been banned, and you can be shot immediately and they had eight items, that’s gotta be real scary

    • @toomenytingles4123
      @toomenytingles4123 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Well, it might be scary but the god-tier tingles are worth it!

  • @purpleblob704
    @purpleblob704 4 ปีที่แล้ว +117

    Me: (starting to doze off as ER begins to check my rucksack)
    ER: *”Is this a human brain?”*
    Me: .____.

  • @woden__
    @woden__ 4 ปีที่แล้ว +646

    26:00 ER: "What is this"
    Me: "A pipe bomb"
    ER: "A pipe bomb?"
    Me: "Hey wait"

    • @cokodogo00
      @cokodogo00 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      neonrain 😂

    • @JeiPegOfARaptor
      @JeiPegOfARaptor 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      "Whats this?"
      "A pipe bomb"
      "Alright youre good to go"
      " *_nani_* "

    • @ShiroIsMyName
      @ShiroIsMyName 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Pi 8

    • @JeiPegOfARaptor
      @JeiPegOfARaptor 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Nani

    • @comradetumble9243
      @comradetumble9243 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      If it was a bomb then he wouldn't be messing with it

  • @initialdespacito3666
    @initialdespacito3666 4 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    Him: “The human brain is not allowed here”
    Me: nO sHiT sHeRlOcK

  • @Lockon2077
    @Lockon2077 4 ปีที่แล้ว +162

    Officer:
    "Here's your time stone"
    Me time to reverse time and hide my contraband.

    • @tonyds1231
      @tonyds1231 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      How many futures did you see about the new world order?

    • @Lockon2077
      @Lockon2077 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@tonyds1231 To many to count and all end with a record

    • @PieceOfSchmidtt_Games
      @PieceOfSchmidtt_Games 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Exactly that's why I had such clean records

  • @annie820
    @annie820 4 ปีที่แล้ว +309

    Officer: I see you're breathing
    Me: ...
    Officer: Did you know breathing has bEeN BAnNeD>*$@-?

    • @jimmypadgett4288
      @jimmypadgett4288 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Annie Good ah S H I T

    • @GomiGames
      @GomiGames 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Me: oh ok......... WAIT WHAT
      [3 minutes later]
      Mom: he was a beautiful young man
      ER: (gets arrested)
      ER: WHAT DID I DO, whoops sorry (coughs)
      Speaking softly: what did I do (I don't know what I was doing typing this but the point was I died because I because I could not breath)

    • @glitchtrap9112
      @glitchtrap9112 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You're comment has been ordered to be removed from this off limits site known by it's... referred self which is TH-cam by the NWO for the thing of which it holds off limit letters in it

    • @Overkeyboarded
      @Overkeyboarded 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Annie Good
      oh not again!!!

  • @Mkmcco
    @Mkmcco 4 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    That dude must've gotten so annoyed when he said 5 minutes tops but the inspection ended up lasting over an hour

    • @larrythecucumber4359
      @larrythecucumber4359 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Matthew McConico we are the dudes 😳😳

    • @GomiGames
      @GomiGames 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Me : hey man I'll be back in a minute
      ER: OK
      Me grabs time stone and go's to the future
      That room 50 year's later:
      ER: he maybe went to get some McDonalds?

  • @0megamanX
    @0megamanX 4 ปีที่แล้ว +315

    next: NWO rigs the Iowa caucus | ASMR

    • @jdmnissan
      @jdmnissan 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Yes

    • @sukhoisu-24fencer3
      @sukhoisu-24fencer3 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      That was an embarrassment. Damn Democrats.

    • @jakobcarver9825
      @jakobcarver9825 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      This made me laugh historically. Thank you.

  • @user-tb4nv4kk6w
    @user-tb4nv4kk6w 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    0:11 this is a certified hood classic

  • @CanonRailfan97
    @CanonRailfan97 4 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    “If this didn’t have a lid, you’d still be able to keep it.”
    Why not confiscate just the lid? 🤔

  • @troobix_s
    @troobix_s 4 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    8:40 - he did not write how many meters of bubble wrap. I see he wants to use some for himself...

  • @calstri
    @calstri 4 ปีที่แล้ว +250

    25:50
    *rustling*
    “What do we have in here next?”
    *stares at grey tube*
    “And what is this?”
    “A pipe bomb? Okay, interesting.”
    This is great

    • @Shy-RG
      @Shy-RG 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Explodes

    • @YourMom-yg1yw
      @YourMom-yg1yw ปีที่แล้ว

      “Pipe bombs…. Have not been banned yet, you’re free to keep this”

  • @maxm7200
    @maxm7200 4 ปีที่แล้ว +58

    Can we take a moment to appreciate the fact he doesn't do the incorrect "over and out" at the start

    • @UltimoScorpion
      @UltimoScorpion 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Hows that incorrect

    • @ltlgameing
      @ltlgameing 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      @@UltimoScorpion when someone says "over" it means for the other guy to respond and "out" means it's the end of the conversation. So saying "over and out" is telling the other guy to respond but I'm ending the conversation

    • @VPraetorian
      @VPraetorian 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Is it neccsarily wrong if you want to send your last message but still expect a final response from your correspondant? I don't see why the application is inflexible even if the terminology is correct. What if you just want to give the other guy a chance to respond without doing a "no you hang up" routine or hearing their entire life story before they decide to stop.

    • @zachcate7102
      @zachcate7102 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Virgil Peterson does that happen to you often?

    • @mikecleveland7042
      @mikecleveland7042 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@VPraetorian Yes, it is wrong because "out" not only indicates that you are specifically not expecting a response, but that you won't even still be on the radio to receive a response.

  • @TheAmazingGhostNinja
    @TheAmazingGhostNinja 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    My head canon is that the record is actually getting wiped from every checkpoint and we're one of the "insert thing here" mans runners trying to deliver what you can. However since it's always wiped you manage to just get away with a warning every time.

  • @MrGoose-hy8nk
    @MrGoose-hy8nk 4 ปีที่แล้ว +122

    ER: “It’s from the 20th century? And here we are in the 194th century.”
    Me: “Odd flex but proceed”

    • @Alisibeth_Talia212
      @Alisibeth_Talia212 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      ...This threw me way off-

    • @wannabe-werecat
      @wannabe-werecat 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      seeing 'okay' replaced with 'proceed' is very unnecessarily funny

    • @the05thatasked52
      @the05thatasked52 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@wannabe-werecat he had to change it
      The letter a has been banned lol

  • @ghostly_games6731
    @ghostly_games6731 4 ปีที่แล้ว +208

    I have a code Magenta Squirrel -481 rhubarb pie in custody

    • @MArs110-
      @MArs110- 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Ghostly_ Games 69th like nice

    • @forc3ofxf3ar51
      @forc3ofxf3ar51 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Ghostly_ Games idk how u can say that sentence and not even smirk lol

    • @joshporter5205
      @joshporter5205 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      A code Slappy Squirrel yackety schmackety rhubarb rhubarb rhubarb.

  • @ImmortalPlayer42069
    @ImmortalPlayer42069 4 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    I have a feeling that “Time Stone” is going to some how fix everything going to shit.

  • @Zimtblut
    @Zimtblut 4 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    The more I hear about the outside world, the more I long for the "safety" of Arkham Sanitarium *shudders*

  • @sparkplugdoug4489
    @sparkplugdoug4489 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Does his world kinda remind anyone else of the series of unfortunate events universe? Like organizations that are kinda wacky but really seriously carried out, eerie world that’s similar to ours but through a different lens if you will. It’s so freaking fascinating and I love the mythos he’s created

  • @MrMadPenny3000
    @MrMadPenny3000 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Every time I, a citizen, return to the US 😂😂 I don’t know how you can make such a stressful infuriating experience into a comforting relaxing thing, but you do it so well, love this one.

  • @almostshay
    @almostshay 4 ปีที่แล้ว +65

    When they banned "and such" I really lost it

    • @mattstudios740
      @mattstudios740 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      They banned the word NWO. This is getting ridiculous.

  • @Definesleep938
    @Definesleep938 4 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    "pulls out rubber chicken"
    Me: slowly turns volume down from 100%

  • @AlekVen
    @AlekVen 4 ปีที่แล้ว +258

    *Hears sound while tabbed out*
    Me: "That's dice."
    Murray: "A pouch of... dice?"
    Me: "Still worthy!"
    EDIT: we got to keep those even though some were banned. Never underestimate the power of the dice.

    • @MagWasTaken
      @MagWasTaken 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Nat20 persuasion

    • @craigbainton4173
      @craigbainton4173 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Mag. Or just a +9/10

    • @geargrinder9935
      @geargrinder9935 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      AlekVen's stupidface you rolled a 20 and confused the NWO guard you got to keep your dice!

    • @weebwhacker6217
      @weebwhacker6217 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      *The divining stones*

    • @the05thatasked52
      @the05thatasked52 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Guess you got lucky with the dice...
      *I'll stop*

  • @specter_badguy9675
    @specter_badguy9675 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    Guard: I can't believe you would try to smuggle candy through a checkpoint.
    Me: No it's my bribe

  • @etherealhawk
    @etherealhawk 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    This legend out here serving and protecting every day for 4 years 🫡

  • @socialisingsigma1532
    @socialisingsigma1532 4 ปีที่แล้ว +60

    "And youll be on your way"
    Me: have you seen what its like out there mur-ray?

    • @BizzareJungle13
      @BizzareJungle13 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Ah a man of culture

    • @alevelthreemage344
      @alevelthreemage344 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      You get what you fu**ing deserve

    • @Amadeus55555
      @Amadeus55555 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      *shreds him to death with tinfoil covered AK-47*

    • @SOULMuvex
      @SOULMuvex 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      What do you get, when you cross, a mentally ill loner, WITH A SOCIETY THAG ABANDONS HIM AND TREATS HIM LIKE TRASH!???

    • @jackwill9592
      @jackwill9592 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @Christian Chavarria *proceeds to draw firearm and shoots Murray in the face*

  • @VoiceofPersonaASMR
    @VoiceofPersonaASMR 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I’m lowkey pumped to see officer Murray back. Underrated character!

  • @Mochael84
    @Mochael84 4 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    “I’m sure you’re an upstanding citizen.”
    Me, who has seen the other Officer Murray videos: h-heh heh...yeaaaaaah...bout that...

  • @Erftan57
    @Erftan57 3 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    ER: The letter A is banned.
    Me: *Looks at the letter A in “slave” and “today” on the wall behind him* Hmmmm

    • @kenny5577
      @kenny5577 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      He said if you work for the nwo you can use the prohibited items and things

  • @Gorilla_Chaos
    @Gorilla_Chaos 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    “Oh so you have a primed pipbomb? “
    *Proceeded to tap on it for a solid minute*

  • @wiktordorsz4900
    @wiktordorsz4900 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I think it was the last time when i happen to be checked in chekpoint... The fact that I had a time changing amulet... You know... And once again Rift has made an relaxing and interesting Asmr... Thanks Rift!

  • @somepharmacist
    @somepharmacist 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Thank The Entity for rift not putting ads in the middle of his videos.

  • @ShaunTheCHB
    @ShaunTheCHB 4 ปีที่แล้ว +56

    "The following ASMR.....has been paid for by the New World Order".

    • @TheDismissor
      @TheDismissor 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      But currency was banned O_O_O

    • @shock4826
      @shock4826 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      this is literally the world 50 years in the future if net neutrality had taken action

    • @Duck-404
      @Duck-404 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@shock4826 No I'd in a couple months to 3 years.

    • @CAPTTIGHT230
      @CAPTTIGHT230 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      LMAO

    • @CtKEngage
      @CtKEngage 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I was looking for the nWo wrestling reference. Mission accomplished.

  • @FrogEnthusiast_TheOneAndOnly
    @FrogEnthusiast_TheOneAndOnly 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    ER: I’m sure you’re an outstanding citizen
    Me: bro I was humanity’s greatest threat before all this went went down 💀

  • @QUCKSCPER
    @QUCKSCPER 4 ปีที่แล้ว +86

    Rift: are you breathing?
    Person: yes.
    Rift:Sorry you’re not allowed to bring your lungs with you I’m gonna have to take these.
    Person: falls dead on floor cause they don’t have lungs.
    Rift: sorry you can’t bring dead bodies with you either.
    Person: disappears.
    Rift: ok you good to go.

  • @zacharymaher2855
    @zacharymaher2855 4 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    Wait... Isn't Officer Murray a member of the Tin Foil Hat Society...

    • @nickbrandt2915
      @nickbrandt2915 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Shhh my fellow tin foil hat member don't blow his cover!

    • @tonyds1231
      @tonyds1231 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@nickbrandt2915 dont worry. Nefarious organizations are banned....also tinfoil....

    • @fadedflame2537
      @fadedflame2537 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Nick Brandt y’all just been found out. *Cocks NWO brand tinfoil killer shotgun*

  • @IsabruhMoment
    @IsabruhMoment 4 ปีที่แล้ว +45

    45:40 “What is this...or do I not want to know?”
    Hilarious.

  • @Tark0wo
    @Tark0wo 4 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    "I pipe bomb, interesting."
    Me on a different tab: A what!?

    • @Tark0wo
      @Tark0wo 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      And its not banned!??

    • @rockythunder4458
      @rockythunder4458 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Tarku hi! What country are you from?

    • @zarrowthehorse
      @zarrowthehorse 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@rockythunder4458 what

  • @AllFatherMedia
    @AllFatherMedia 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I used to listen to the NWO, post apocalyptic/dystopic stuff to relax. Now I listen to it to prepare.

  • @admiralmudkip9836
    @admiralmudkip9836 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    The best part of this roleplay is that Comic sans has outlived normal society.
    Comic sans is eternal

  • @diogoguerramontenegro8319
    @diogoguerramontenegro8319 4 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    "I'm sure you're an upstanding citizen"
    Me:*personal aquaitance of The Man*
    Yeah... about that

  • @tobim5574
    @tobim5574 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    “Make sure you’re not transporting any contraband.”
    *me knowing I have at least 8 3D printed full auto sears in my backpack*

  • @Heytomat0
    @Heytomat0 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Hey Ephemeral Rift! Have you ever heard of "Hunt Showdown?" Its a horror fps about hunters slaying beasts and avoiding other hunters and i believe you could do probably a pretty cool Hunt style ASMR

  • @lunarnebulari
    @lunarnebulari 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    When he said, “I’ll have to add this to your record. Which WAS clean, until now.” He seemed so disappointed, like I actually felt bad.

  • @mike6916
    @mike6916 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I like how the way you say N.W.O. almost sounded like "End of your world" to me at first

  • @professionalwrestlingvideo8650
    @professionalwrestlingvideo8650 4 ปีที่แล้ว +45

    Ephemeral. I purchased a shirt from you, excited to wear my "Godless animal" shirt.

  • @door.4975
    @door.4975 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I accidentally sinned
    I came here to be purified by your calm voice

  • @stewiegriffin7237
    @stewiegriffin7237 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    The N.W.O.!
    We put the Banned in Contraband!

  • @etherealhawk
    @etherealhawk ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Makes me wonder what happened to that loaner brain and whether the "not-mine" loophole was patched by the devs

  • @colonclosedparantheses293
    @colonclosedparantheses293 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Oh boy. NWO! Otherwise known as New World Online! My favorite fantasy VR game in an anime called: *"I hate being in pain so I think I'll make a full defense build"* I'm not in the right neighborhood am I?

    • @hello_i_exist_uwu
      @hello_i_exist_uwu 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      breaking news!
      Monster destroys part of a NWO storage house, people get the banned items back!

  • @guffly
    @guffly ปีที่แล้ว +6

    >”Should be out in 3-4 minutes”
    > checks time
    > “if you say so man”

  • @shamdogg
    @shamdogg 4 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    Do you write lines and memorize them for these videos or do you just wing it? i mean don't you ever forget what to say? it's impressive

    • @Sceleri
      @Sceleri 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I mean he gets an item out of the bag and asks you about it. Isn't that hard to remember, maybe some little things like the comment about the oil can and which order to take stuff out

  • @cosplayqueen4316
    @cosplayqueen4316 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I NEEEEEED to see one of these but with nothing

    • @EphemeralRift
      @EphemeralRift  ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Caught smuggling nothing? Oooooo I like that...

  • @MontyTheMothman
    @MontyTheMothman 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    I’m loving the lore comin back. Candy man is a name I haven’t heard in a while.

  • @nicoandtheniners8111
    @nicoandtheniners8111 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Quote of the day: "And what were you planning on doing with this ampersand?"

  • @denniscowe3289
    @denniscowe3289 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    ER: You should be out of here in 3, maybe 4, minutes.
    Me: *checks timestamp* “1:06:50”
    Me: X to doubt

  • @U_C_G
    @U_C_G 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    ER: 'This should take 3 or 4 minutes tops'
    *Video is over an hour long*
    Me: 'Uh oh... I'm carrying some serious contraband, aren't I?'

  • @Pascal33Hitman33
    @Pascal33Hitman33 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I love when german words are used in english ASMR videos :D
    "Rucksack" (ger) is just the simple translation of backpack :P It's almost as funny as "verboten" (en) which means strictly forbidden, but in german it is just used as the normal translation for forbidden :D (we would also say "streng verboten" if we mean "strictly forbidden")
    It's like a little Easteregg for me as a german.

  • @etherealhawk
    @etherealhawk 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Man I watch this every 3 days, almost literally. This and the rain in the garage video.

  • @unrealjay6159
    @unrealjay6159 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    that journal sounds godly .... journal tapping video PLEEEEEEASE :D