Surviving Benzo and SSRI Withdrawal - My Story Part 1
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 30 ม.ค. 2023
- My time on SSRIs, Benzos, and more
This is part one of my story of surviving psychiatric medication. Please note that I am not a medical practitioner, and cannot offer any kind of medical advice. These are my experiences and what I have learned through my own research and communication with others going through this. I wish you all so much love, light, and healing.
There was a study with a group of monkeys in the wild. They took away the senative monkeys and when they went back to see how the group was doing they found all the monkeys dead. The sensitive monkeys knew when something wasn't right, when trouble was coming and could warn the others and without them the others did not survive. Sensitive people are very necessary in this world and should not be treated like they have a disease that needs to be medicated.
I couldn’t agree more
So true.
Agreed! We must protect the empaths.
I am proud of you Matt. You have been through hell in your life but you are still fighting. YOU WILL GET YOUR LIFE BACK and you will be blown away by what kind of life you are building, even now, while you heal. I know it sounds woo woo and is hard to believe but I am sitting here on the other side of a story similar to yours, to tell you that life will be better than you can dream. There is no other option here. You've been to the bottom. The only way is up.
This means the world to me. Thank you. I am gonna be posting the tapering and protracted withdrawal portions of my story soon. Thank you for the push to do this. I am very lucky to know you.
Thank you so much Angie, for everything your doing!!
Yes Angie I saw you on Medicating Normal the movie!! God bless you for all you are doing. These stories are making such a difference. Going through this hell makes you feel so alone. I am a nutritionist, exercise physiologist and have a Ph.D. In pastoral counseling. I was prescribed my first psych drug at 13. I am 51 now and have been off and on these drugs my entire life (mostly on). Now I have a host of physical issues and neurological issues that are 100% psych drug medication induced.
I found “Mad in America” and “Anatomy of an Epidemic” and the lights came on!!! Then I found the movie “Medicating Normal” and then I knew! I am tapering klonopin but it has taken me years to get from 4 mg klonopin and a bunch of other meds (SSRIs, neuroleptics) to 1.5 mg. No more antidepressants and neuroleptics but the struggle is just unreal.
I also found the work of Dr. Georgia Ede and Dr. Chris Palmer invaluable. His book “Brain Energy” and therapeutic ketosis has helped me. Certainly doesn’t fix all the horrific injuries caused by the psych drugs but I feel like it has helped my body and brain heal in the last 16 months.
Thank you Angie and Matt for telling your stories!!! Your stories are incredible stories of hope and resilience. We all need to hear them. God bless you both and may everyone who feels alone, isolated and tormented find your videos (both of you) to know there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Angie do you have a website for your counseling and coaching?
Hi Matt, you are such a strong person..I just wanted to tell it wasn't your fault, there was nothing wrong with you, you just have been poisoned. My name is Mar, I'm 36 yo and I was a doctor in Spain (can't work anymore). I started to have anxiety due to the whole COVID situation and work overload. I tried to treat it naturally as I was aware of the addiction and mind altering properties of this medications. It got to a point where I got desperate and thought that my pyschatric colleagues new better. I fell for the pyschatric trap too and I had enough medical knowledge not to. Fast forward to my story, it is exactly like yours. They kept putting on diferent medications and just kept feeling worse and worse. I have been put on antidepressants, antiphyscotics, benzos... and I have been in a physch ward 3 times. You would think doctors treat others doctors with a little more respect just because we have the same basic medical knowledge. But no, I have been lied and mistreated by my physcathric colleagues. I'm glad I'm not in that field as I could not carry the guilt of what they do to people. I'm trying to get off of all the medications and you describe so well the torture is. I hope we can all recover from the damage they have inflicted upon us. Thank you for sharing your story, you are not alone.
Thank you so much for sharing your story with me. I’m so sorry this happened to you too. Walking this with you ❤️
@@Heymattmarin Thanks for answering. Maybe one day when we recover we can meet. I have family in the US, I would love to meet you, you seem like a very special person. Keep strong!❤️❤️
@@marcordonholzknechthow do u deal with anxiety?
@@marcordonholzknechthow are you doing now? With you brother ❤
thank you for sharing your experience. wishing you all the best and that you’re doing better now 🌟
You are an amazing person Matt ❤
So proud of you Matt! Thank you for speaking out ❤
Congratulations ❤ stay strong 🎉
Thanks for sharing your experience for a greater good.
All my support to you.
I sincerely admire you for all that you have fought through and continue to fight. I admire you for being open and vulnerable and know you're helping others by doing that.
so moving thank you so much, ill be uploading my story soon. watching part 2 now
Thank you so much for that extremely articulate and heartfelt story. I’m truly sorry for your former suffering and your suffering as of late as I know only too well. Take care of yourself Matt❤
Matt I heard you on Dr. Josef and came here to subscribe. Keep telling your story. It is so powerful. It is also my story.
God bless you for being transparent, vulnerable and spreading truth! The world needs to hear what happened to you. Blessings!
Wow. I laughed, I cried, I absolutely loved the climax/cliffhanger there at the end...! On to part 2 now. What a beautiful soul you are to share your story for the greater good. This world needs to wake up immediately. With little stars around *immediately.*
Thank you ❤️ it means a lot to me.
Glad to see you seem to be doing better, that shit is no joke
If you write a book i’d love to read it . Good luck
Thank you so much Matt!!!
So glad your account was recommended to me. Wonderful video, and I hope you know how much your story has helped others ❣
This means the world to me Kyle. Thank you.
Thank you ,🙏surviving psychiatry 😢tons off people need help to come off psychotropic meds .
Watching your videos because a friend of mine is going through SSRI/Benzo scripts wreaking havoc on his life. I sent this channel to him.
What caught my ears was he told me the doctors said they called in the scripts and when he showed up to the pharmacist they said it wasn’t called in. They playing games with him too. He’s going through a lot of what you’re talking about and I want to show him it’s possible to get to the other side and get better. Thanks for these vids!
I’m so sorry he’s going through the bullshit that this system puts people through. Glad to know that the videos are helpful ❤️
Hey, I remember you from Dr. Josef's interview. Wishing you a peaceful holiday season. 🐧🤗
Hello from France,
Very emotional video I agree with all you said about suffering
I am weaning off of 25mg valium for two years, now at 5mg, took me two years but every day I feel better
I wish all the best
Hi Matt. Thanks for sharing your story, I was addicted to benzos for about a year1/2 then decided to get off , benzo
withdraw is pure hell. I still don't think I'm 100 percent,. but definitely glad to be drug free. 😌
I was on meds for 17 years. Can absolutely relate to what you’ve shared. I tapered over 9 months. Way too short. It’s a brutal experience. Now off almost 5 years. Thanks for your incredible video. I’m very very proud of you. I’m crying thinking of your experience. And mine. Sending much love to you.
How long did it take you to feel 100% recovered?
Right there with ya... 23 year journey myself. We all can learn from one another!
@@briank1263 At what age did u start taking and hiw many meds?
@Mitch was put on zoloft at 17 and got off Lexapro at 39... during that time period, I was addicted/physically dependent on nicotine for 15 years, alcohol for 12 years, benzos for 3 years, and opoids for 12 years. I still use cannabis but that's about to go as well. I've been off Lexapro for about 3 months now. Currently enjoying post acute withdrawal symptoms. I've had a couple of windows of hope. I know it gets better. The only unknown factor is time.
@@briank1263 why did u start with ad? Depression or anxiety?
It’s amazing how the journeys all are so similar they follow that “Holy Trinity “ of psychiatry- ssri/snri a benzo and an antipsychotic and we land up in the psych ward. You said you got another channel you said? Other side wellness? Thank you for your raw honesty and testimony.
Thank you so much for sharing. Great job, you should be so proud of yourself. I am IN this place still trying to get off SSRIS and Benzodiazopines. It's terrifying. Good job
I know how uniquely terrifying it is. It will
Not last forever. Keep going and you will heal. Sending you love ❤️
Hang in there. It takes time; a lot of time. Be good to yourself.
Thank you for putting more information out there. I was put on Benzos aprox. 15 years ago, and will soon begin mico weaning. I also take an SNRI which does not help my depression, but keeps the body aches at bay. I want OFF this stuff!
Thank you so much for this. I have been diagnosed with ADHD, Anxiety, Panic Disorder, Depression and Borderline Personality. I have never wanted to take medications I was prescribed, as I have been prescribed most of the meds you mentioned, plus some. I am so glad I have come across this video. I have had an increase in symptoms lately and was starting to think maybe I should be on medication or give it a try. This video is confirmation that I have been making the right choice. Thank you so much for sharing 🙏🏻 I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I hope this video gets more recognition.
Thank you Katy that really means a lot to me. I know what it’s like to collect diagnoses like that. If you ever want to chat let me know, always happy to provide support and share what I’ve learned in my journey. Wishing you the best ✨
@@Heymattmarin great vid. Spred the word Stay away from psych dr
Stay AWAY FROM PSYCH DR.
I too , have had a spiritual experience....I get it.
I feel like I’m listening to my own story but with an American accent, thank you. I relate to so much. I know that suffering, which is beyond language. I feel emotional listening to your videos because I can see how hard you’ve worked & how much you have suffered to create the hope for yourself. Also, you’re hilarious. Much love from UK
That means a lot, I’m so glad you find the videos helpful. And I’m wishing you a speedy recovery. Sending so much love your way.
Thank you for this. I can relate to much of your withdrawal experience. I agree , many of us who are coming off SSRI's are labeled as BPD . Ditto to talk therapy. Dealing now with rage , lethargy , mental bluntness. 8 months out.
I hear you. I’m sorry you’re in it too. You will make it through, keep going ❤️
@@Heymattmarin Thank you Matt
Thank you so much
Matt, you don't get withdrawal from binge drinking once on the weekends, you get hang overs from dehydration, so what would be more accurate would be you are very easily dehydrated.
I really hope you are doing better, and I sympathize with you 100% these medications are over prescribed and the dangers of the medications are under sold by the drs prescribing them. Especially SSRI and Benzo medications, Benzo being the most damaging and protracted withdrawals.
Thank you 🙏🏽
Jesus Matt were pretty similar I was the same way growing up was a worrier overly anxious compared to my class mates. If I get drunk I feel so mentally screwed up for days afterward but also I'm in PAWS so my system is chemically sensitive to everything. Drinking is a huggggge mistake for me
Thank you for Yr story. Can u plse advice and encourage others similiar experience, journey esp for young adults whom generally being prescribed like smarties.. Here n there... Talk about not losing hope u know... Antipsyhotic drugs eg olanzapine( zyprexa)is dished out for 'chemical imbalances' esp high school kids having anxiety, stress, trauma, young adults... Thank you matt for everything u r doing. No pressure sorry if I come across as such.. I don't know who else to turn to as I have been working with young ppl, losing my job due to being a whistleblower.. Etc.. Imho we need truth tellers... Take care. Thank you.
I have been going through all this for 8 months. The first few months were bad but then it picked up steam. Now I’m hanging on by a thread. The pain in the solar plexus is so insane. Cant sleep, constant terror, internal akithisia, insane depression and anxiety. I constantly feel that death is my only way out and I think about it constantly. How do I stop that part? The loss of my previous life seems too overwhelming. This all
Loops and cycles rapidly. I don’t want to give in but it is ruining my entire life. Obviously. Thanks for the videos man. I’m sorry you are going through this as well.
I can relate. Have you tried ice packs for the solar plexus pain? Sometimes it helps a little for me. In terms of the rumination, it’s torturous, but do your best to just allow it and remind yourself that your brain is LYING to you and it’s NOT your fault. I promise you you will get through this, it will likely be the hardest thing you’ll ever do. I’m with you ❤️
Hey. How are you doing? Even if you re not doing great, know you re loved.🫂
Never e er ever go to a psych Dr NEVER
I was hurted with cymbalta,7 week use (60mg) serotonin sydrome symptoms kick in,then ct by my dr,then came benzoz a year ago cause of cymbalta caused akathisia,tolerance kick quite soon,first i was in 30mg,soon 75mg of oxazepam,started tapering it on march 2023,now im in trouble.....so bad terror,and doom...worse than ever.tapering slowly,in 6 months i have tapered only 15mg.i want to get rid of benzoz but if i do this even in 5% month,im in this condition.dont know how i ever survive,all the traumas....all the time.thank you Matt❤
Wow 2 and half years for me since lexapro and risperidone
I believe you on the spiritual intervention. That's literally the meaning of divine intervention. Spiritual experiences are the only provable forms of spirituality, tbh. Psychedelics and ego death, lucid dreaming, dreaming in general, astral projection, NDEs are all proof of this.
Sounds like you're Guardian Spirit (Angel/Spirit Guide/Higher Self) intervened on your behalf to save your life that day. Not everybody has that happen. The thing that's the most surprising to me is that it was able to push through all the medication and get to you, considering those medications (especially antipsychotics) cut our connection to spirit. Anything that makes a psychedelic, which will literally connect you fully to spirit, not work, is something I consider to sever your connection to spirit. I believe this is all being done by design, but I'm not going to get into that here. Sounds like you have a powerful intuition. I do, too, and I always listen to it. It has never steered me wrong before, so long as I listened properly. There were things that made my life harder in the short-term, that I was like "Why am I doing this/going through this", that turned out to be the best things that happened to me. I'm looking forward to seeing Part 2.
Three things I would recommend, not just for the guy making the video but for anybody out there. For anxiety, practice acceptance. For depression, practice gratitude. For anger, practice forgiveness. There is power in prayer, regardless of whether or not you're a Christian (I am not a Christian and I pray every single day). Sending love and prayers to all of you!
I’d like to know what you think about Jordan Peterson’s experience and coma “therapy” in Russia (?) after akathisia set in.
I relate soooo much....I'm kinda scared, like...all the time
Samething with all psychiatrist treated me the sameway. Did even know my name after 4 yrs.
Hi, great videos! I am a highly sensitive person. I coped with life extremely well. I didn't drink or smoke or wear makeup. Summer 2022 I got put on cortisone. I had withdrawal symptoms from that including tinnitus, anxiety and insomnia. I saw many doctors and none linked it to the meds. I went to therapy. The therapy center for CBT recommended me rivotril as a safe sleeping aid, wtf. I asked the GP what it was and whether it was safe cause I didn't want anything habit forming, she prescribed without info. I took for 12 days and felt weird but didn't realize. I have been in hell for 6+ months trying to taper. I am traumatized by therapy. Acupuncture doesn't work on me anymore since this poison. How to survive this 😢
I was perfectly calm and happy before meds ruined my CNS.
I’m so sorry. Iatrogenic nervous system injuries are truly indescribable. I relate, I don’t know how to adapt to this level of physical and mental distress. It’s ineffably difficult. Sending you so much love, I’m here walking this with you ❤️
@@Heymattmarin thank you for the reply. You are very courageous with your videos. I'm happy you're at least of the benzo already. I hope to make it there one day. How 12 days ruined my life, wauw. I'm trying to change the laws in my country about this.
How do you feel today?
7.5 months off Klonopin and my worst symptom since tolerance are constant daily pvcs 😔 at this point I'm thinking they are permanent
How long were you on it?
@@Av-uv6xu 3 years
Just realized that come out under my daughter’s name Sheila. This was my experience and not hers.
Hello I'm a 22 yo girl I went through PTSD severe traumatic physical abuse
So they gave me Ativan...I took it every single day.. now I don't anymore prescriptions. They stopped me cold turkey I'm on 2 day off and I'm dying honestly please help my soul god
I'm having hallucinanations 140 bon heart rate shivering hot flash on and off nausea INSOMNIA and my panic disorder is at its worse anyways idk I might die honestly from those severe withdrawal but I just i hope I make it man I hope
Are you ok now? How is it?
I hope you're alright.
You will be ok! Believe 🙏send you to much love ❤️😊
You need to go to the hospital. People can die from Benzos withdrawal.
Thanks
Would love to talk to
Did you do you feel schizophrenic at all? I pray I’m not my anxiety and thoughts are insane.
No, I am not schizophrenic. But I know many people experience symptoms of it upon getting off of these drugs. And I believe it all heals with time. Hang in there ❤️ you’re not insane.
Have u taken 5htp and tyrosine
Had bad reactions to both. For some reason supplements are really tricky in this. The body becomes very hypersensitized during this injury to all kinds of things. If you’re gonna try a supplement I recommend starting with a really small dose and paying close attention to how you respond. And try one thing at a time.
@@Heymattmarin I use glutamine and taurine now with nician
Youre smart guy dont let peoples negative opinions about you put you in a box. Do not be a a victim of peoples toxicity. People are like plants some are poison. you need to associate yourself with the good plants and pull up the weeds. Or allow the rabbits to eat them.
Did you ever feel you couldn't breathe properly always having to think about breathing
Yes. This was a big one for me especially in the beginning. I can breathe normally for the most part now, but breath work still makes my symptoms way worse. It’s like my parasympathetic nervous system has been hijacked.
I found myself holding my breath, often.
Which is the worst withdrawal
Everyone is differnet. Benzos and SSRI's if you ask me.
Slapping down peanut butter lol
There is no drug to treat BPD if you even have it. Doctors know this. Are you artistic? You're likely more a HSP, Highly Sensitive Person which is a trait, not a disorder. No meds needed for that either. It's incredible how drugs are to go to instead of actually listening to a patient and empathizing.
Agreed. The diseasification of so many human experiences is mind blowing. Yeah I do consider myself to be an HSP and I’m an artist, usually, though I haven’t been able to create much through this journey. It’s hard to be creative when in a constant state of survival mode.
@@Heymattmarin I couldn't be creative trying to recover from the benzo either. Heck I could barely keep myself from suicide. I will tell you though, I certainly learned alot about accepting myself, HSP and all, going through hell and back. I'm almost grateful for that experience because I like myself now. I could never feel that before. Such a waste. You too will get through this and feel the same. I'm sure of it. And never will we seek psychiatry again. It does more harm than good for our kind. Our kind has so much to offer the world. I'll never doubt that again.
@@JoJo65654 thank you for this. I just want to be on the other side of it so badly. But it’s still so severe and certain symptoms keep getting worse. I just doubt every day that I’m ever gonna make it through. Everything fills me with fear and dread. Anything creative, even just thoughts of what to do for work. It all sends my nervous system into complete overdrive. Feels like all I can do is distract.
@@Heymattmarin Your nervous system is not working properly right now. All the neuro transmitters need to rebuild from what the drug took away. I didn't think I'd make it either. It took me 2 years to feel like me again. In the mean time, be good to yourself. It's not your fault. I used to think I was effected more because of my hypersensitivity. I don't think so now. These drugs hurt an aweful lot of people of every type. It takes time to heal the brain. Time is all you can give this injury. You will heal too. No irreversible damage is caused by taking these horrible pills. That's the only good thing. Your life is on hold for a while, but you will get past this. I promise.
@@JoJo65654 thank you so much. Truly.
SSRI = bad medisin
Hi Matt! Congats for having guts to talk about all this. Unfortunately lot of us are in the similar position...
But let me ask u something. U werent well at the first place. U said u were talking about suicide even before meds. Why do u think u will be ok off the meds? I know what is wd and i know wd symptoms but u were suicidal before meds too... If u know what i mean...
Fair question. I touched on this in my video, but basically there were so many aspects about how I was living my life before meds that I believe greatly impacted the way I felt on a daily basis. In a way, I believe that I was at least partially inducing my issues through diet, drugs, alcohol, etc. And one thing I can say for sure- what I experienced before the meds is not even in the same dimension as what I am experiencing because of withdrawing from them.
There were so many things I wish I had made an effort to change before ever considering drugs (I plan to make a video about this very soon). I am dedicated to my health and wellbeing in a way I never have been before, and that is the greatest gift that has come out of this journey. It has forced me to take myself seriously and treat myself better. It is my belief that once the damage from these drugs has healed, my new lifestyle will carry me the rest of the way. And the biggest difference is that now I understand that I am going to feel many things in my life, not just good things. I am more welcoming to the negative, and I embrace the hard times in a different way now. I hope that is helpful.
@@Heymattmarin can’t relate to this more
Pls how can I contact you pls
I’m not doing support or coaching calls right now I’m sorry. I’m still healing too. There are a lot of great coaches out there and good support community resources on inner compass. I am sending you a lot of love.