lol, yeah! help to love... themselves. Sorry, it's actually sad, though. Bad parenting. In essence.. love is important... the most important thing... and it starts from parents loving their child...
If a man ever says, "We'll see where it goes!" LEAVE. Thats his way of saying he likes you but not enough to snatch you up and claim you. If he isn't clear on his plan for you, say BYE.
Yes, it hurts but men assign points to women. You simply did not meet all the things on his list to make it worth it. Sorry it hurts and they won't tell you to your face but when they meet dream girl they pounce.
Women legit need to stop caring so damn much. It’s freeing. I don’t mean we shouldn’t care at all, just stop caring about this sh*t to your own detriment. We have lives to live. We need to honor ourselves.
Cats rock! However, I would rather be the older lady, who looks younger, travels alot, drinks wine and goes to wine tastings. I'm already 35, but look 25, so I'm going to be one hot looking "old lady." Lol!
I have recently started to like myself for who I am. I have been hurt to many times . So I have decided I'm going to be me. I have just moved in on my own and am busy with my new apartment and new job.
I am an Empath and if my ex narc heloed rebuilt me, i wiuld do the same but narcissists don't have compassiin and has a cristal ball to see the future bettail ? Think npt. Delusion
@@kvooo765 nope. Nope. Nope. What you do is building them up for the next one because by the end of your help all they will see you as is a therapist, nothing else.
Deceased husband DID do laundry, vacuum, cook, out to restaurants a lot!. Insisted he’s mowing yard, weed eating, fixing vehicles, fixing house, paying bills. Etc. He made certain I’d have what I needed before he died. Including our Tombstone. Medical situation. Several times... Everyday he’d say “I love you!” “Hello Gorgeous!” Then say with tears in his eyes, “I worship the dirt you walk on!” I loved him back the same way! There’s so much more! We lived in PEACE. He died in PEACE. I live in PEACE now... Bc of His TRUE LOVE!
I don’t know if it’s the same for men. I consider myself to be pretty emotionally mature with a lot of experience with humans in general. My gut told me “safe”, but the reality was “used” 😕
Just met a guy this week. Only texting. He says on day 4 “send me a pic of those tootsie pops In your mouth lol”.....ummm I’m 46 and don’t have time for such ignorance and arrogance. Next.
@@BK-tp6jf Oh, yes, believe it. They don't grow up no matter how old they are. I was shocked too when I was in my 40s and started dating again after my divorce. Now in my 60s I see where the term "dirty only man comes from". Men have no filter on how old they are. They still get just as excited on looking at a young woman as if they are the same age. This I've seen because I have an attractive daughter and have seen their first response. And these are decent men. 🤪👀👅 Not sickos. Sorry, it's in their testosterone. The main reason dating is so hard and no decency is because of the SEXUAL REVOLUTION that I lived through. Dating was always done with the pursuit of marriage. And the goal was no nookies until. (Not that that happened) But men stayed more respectful. Look at old Elvis Presley movies. In the end he always asked the girl to marry him. BUT WAIT IT GETS WORSE! Now the Democrats are gender neutralizing us. You can't say mom or dad. Its parents. You have a child. SICKOS ARE TURNING US INTO ROBOTS.
@@jadedstar7442 Do we just keep letting them tell us what we can say and can't say? No ! This a joke. I will continue with my Constitutional right to free speech.
Long distance is usually a joke if the guy goes months and months without meeting you or seeing you in person. As, he’s possibly married or in a relationship and using you as a side friend.
I’ve been in a long distance relationship for a year now and we see each other every other month. It’s the best relationship I’ve had and we treat each other even better than when we first started dating. Constant FaceTimes and love. Long distance is never a joke if you know what you want.
Yes I agree! I just broke up with a man who I met on a dating app because after 4 months of daily talking he was too busy to meet me. He only lived an hour away from me. Always had an excuse why he cant come see me. I got tired of it.
Here's the truth: he needs to want to be with you. You do you and if a man comes by often, is thoughtful, checks in (without being told) and respects your opinions that's someone who wants a relationship. You can't pick a man - he has to pick you.
Basically, if a guy really loves us (is sexually attracted, likes us mentally and is bonded emotionally and will make personal sacrifices for our happiness), we will feel safe and loved and won't be wondering.
Do you do things that they will want you? OR do you act stand offish? We have have to be appealing and caring too. If that goes unnoticed or unappreciated; THEN they are losers.
One time when I was watching one of your lives, we were going back and forth about my situation with a guy coming back after pulling away. You were saying what you say here, that he never would have pulled away if he was serious. It was hard to hear but shortly after, I let him go internally. I had to emotionally let him go. And once I did that, I began getting asked out by other men and am getting back into dating again soon. Thx.
Makes complete sense. If I guy really likes you be won't put himself in a position to lose you. He should be willing to commit to a relationship after eight dates. Well said.
At 40yo, I hate dating now. I have such envy of everyone who has found themselves a loving committed partner in life. I wish I had that, but I can’t find it anywhere.
Have you ever had one love in the past 20years? If yes, then it's time to celebrate what was & start to concentrate on yourself. If you've not had one, then stay hopeful & love yourself most of all. There's a lot of us in this situation. Each sit is different. But we must stay happy & hopeful. Most of all spiritual & lovingl. Love to you all
Yes , because he has a girl for each day I bet ! So yes .... you need seriousness and real commitment and share the same life long vision .... stay blessed. Pace to you !
Coach Elliot is so right ! I have dated a few men and realized after a few to many dates they didn’t want the same thing . I now have met me a man who after 3 weeks of us dating ( though we met 5 years ago) asked me to be exclusive. It is now going on 4 months and he hasn’t changed, though we had a few fights he is always the one to do the chasing , he has stepped up since I lost my job end of sept , still buys me flowers every other week , I’m with this man just about every day helping him with his business and I have my own key And my stuff at his house . He hates going a day without me . I’m looking forward to my first thanksgiving with him and our two grown sons . Ladies , if he doesn’t commit after a certain time , let it go because most men will continue to get it all without the commitment .
Why are you helping him with his business? Are you his employee? Or are you just helping to build it? I would not do that if I were you. Is he paying your bills aside from buying flowers?
@@ShinySilverBunny one thing I will not allow a man to take advantage of me for money ,. He has a landscaping and irrigation company , He is showing me things and keeping me busy while I’m not working . He is also going to give my son work cash in hand over the holidays . He gave my front yard a make over with all new landscaping and cost me nothing , he also fixed things in my house , he pays pretty much everything.
I attract men who don't know how to handle my loyalty, straightforwardness ( that men say they want),independence, thoughtfulness, empathetic nature. I feel they are use to toxic women that when a real one comes they get scared or think i have alterior motives. I feel all the real men are taken, gay or want to stay single because they've been hurt so much.
Don't give up on life and the universe I know of a great man who helped you me fix my broken hear beat relationship and everything was restored to pormal in days without delay
I had a similar situation happen. The guy was buttering me up in the beginning and was looking to move back to his home state, my state. Says he was going to move to my city specifically. He was expecting me to give it up. I didn't. Then he ghosted lol. These guys will tell you anything to get in your pants 😅
Elliot Scott you are 100% correct. We as women need to stop opening our legs and being idiots with men full stop. Wait assess, make sure all his actions meet his words. Stop being easy access, no man I know refuses sex. If you enjoy being a used up door mat. Then ignore and keep doing your thing that clearly is not working. I learnt the hard way and got wise. We all make mistakes but for goodness sake stop repeating them.
But if you did give up the assets and think you messed up? turn it around and say you used him too. Just sayin we as woman can’t be left feeling guilty all the time because we “gave it up” be a lioness ladies stop feeling guilty. 🦁 do what’s right and we won’t feel guilty bottomline
Thank you for the heart on my comment, I really appreciate your advice because its not sugar coated, you keep 100% cuss words and all! Your genuine and it shows thank you Elliott
@@gloriaa0214 Your right! Because let's face it women love sex too. Ive had my share of hooking up on the 1st date, and that basically set my place with the guy, I never leveled up to GF material just booty call. So I guess if you dont want him long term the .
Yep, dump these type guys that don’t care if they do things that may lose you. It’s a waste of your precious time when they could care less. Find someone that actually puts in the effort.
The " good looking Dude" is a Narcissist who is trying to Hoover the Lady from California up. He is not worthy of her. Go No Contact and learn about Narcisstic Abuse Recovery to save your Self the heartache. I am sending love and hugs from Washington State, USA, Jeanne of In Loving Hands Counseling and ASMR
He's right. Experience talking here: I waited longer than Elliot says. And this guy did get better. HOWEVER, the principle still applies. Holidays suck, because the principle still applies. Just because we're around each other does not mean he cherishes me. He does not. He knows he has a good woman, his friends know... but it's not in his heart. This guy is not even a bad guy or a player. He keeps to himself and is slightly generous but I don't have his heart. Elliott is right. A dumb amount of time has gone by at this point and I don't have his heart, so it is a little unhealthy to say the least. Elliot is right.
Yuou're right. I was inexperienced, it was my first, coming so late in my late 30's. I was waiting for two years. It did get better, but when it's low it's very low. And it still ended.
I like "positively cautious." It's true about gut feelings. Women have very instinctive, intuitive awareness that we do not use often enough, or do not tap into completely. Listen to that inner conscious voice when in a place of imbalance. Very seldom is it wrong. Great job again, Elliot! 😊💯
@@lioydwilliams1850 Actually, not right now. I have learned to let go of unhealthy situations and focus on becoming the best I can be for myself first, then for someone else, if it is to be in my future. It is an ongoing process.
i dont know why i've never felt anything like this my gut feeling just tells me to trust him and relax😅😌, i've never feel so peaceful while being in a relationship.. im not obssesed or too attached its just so balanced and i love him, he reciprocates this i think its why i feel at peace
@@lashondaward2924 I agree. I told my daughter that rather than that excited feeling you have in the beginning, what she's watching for are feelings of peace and well-being.
When you meet a man and start talking about things mention what you will and not tolerate and stick to it Don't let anyone test you don't fall for sugary words All relationships are usually perfect in the beginning Wait and see Be a listener not a talker and you will find out who he reminds you of If it is someone you didn't like then don't try to change them Find what you are looking for Its out there but you can't find them wearing rose colored glasses...take them off!!!!
I met my man online, went on a date within a week of talking and THE SECOND WE SPOKE I knew this was different. I was like ok don't fuck this up, this is it if you really want it to be. We went for dinner and forgot to look at menus we couldn't stop talking. We talked and talked and talked, went for a drink and talked and talked more. Before I knew it 3 hours had gone by. Usually I'm the introvert who will look for an escape because dating is exhausting, but this was so easy. We organised to meet again a few days later, a date that ended up lasting about 9 hours. We connected on such a deep, emotional level, and there were no games, no "does he/ doesn't he," it was just easy! 5 weeks later we went into full lockdown, so I moved in with him. Even though lockdown has ended, we still live together and are building a life together. We met only 10 months ago today, lived together 9 months, and neither of us have ever been more content. 10 months isn't long, but I've got a good feeling 😄
Absolutely love your videos! As a woman, even though there are topics that are uncomfortable for us to hear or come to the realization of situations, I can really respect and appreciate your bluntness and just getting right down to the point of the matter and calling out these shitbag kind of guys for what they are and helping us women to not run with our blinders on or make excuses! As far as I'm concerned that takes balls so keep up the good work!
And even after 6-8 dates don’t give it up until you’re married. 6-8 exclusive, 1 year of more dates, engaged...marriage then make all the love you want exclusively off the dating market.
Gotta play your cards right, dating is a game, “i know I know it sucks” but what i do is i “play dumb at times,I feed their egos, I tell them what they want to hear, I act as I don’t like them as much & play with their minds alit, dress causally but same time to the nines...It works because I’m testing them, I learned this from a young age.. I was a nice girl and kept it real before but that doesn’t work, us ladies we gotta be 100 steps ahead of them...We have the power to control everything, and I mean everything 😉.. Don’t give up your “goods” to any men!!! Make him work for you and want you ..👌🏼 We are powerful ladies, don’t give up that power ...
I met a guy a year and a half ago and I still haven't had sex with him. He is beyond obsessed with me till this day. I don't rush anything, as I matter to me and may the best guy for me be the man for me... Then he can have all of the goodies.
@@Sagha4 exactly!!👏🏼👏🏼 you know exactly what to do! Keep it up.. When I was younger I was so naive and gave it up to this guy I really liked, I thought by just giving it up would keep him, but I learned real quick, hell naw.. Us women we really do have the power over them.. I realize we gotta make them like us more then we do like them.. hope that made sense lol
You should teach a class My grandma told me dating was a game I wish I had understood how much it is a game I would have enjoyed dating so much more than stupidity getting married so fast 3 TIMES
@@Sagha4 Really the only problem I see with this is what is the point if you do not get to enjoy sex with him Or are you having sex with others and just denying him sex Either way it sounds like a bad relationship Because a sexless relationship is not a good relationship
Everything you said is valid 100%. That why u got to have options of guys to date ladies. Especially for men that just want to pop in & out of life all the time
This is so true! I have had a recent experience about that. They come back around because they like to consume, not to invest. Some are so stupid lazy that they don’t even realize that and they just lie even to themselves saying “I am a good guy” ....yeah, right :(
What he is doing now is breadcrumbing me, taking me for granted and I'm not even a priority anymore he says he's busy. I've tried the detachment of pulling away as he pulled away... he wasn't fazed. I've tried talking like an adult, he says he's busy but I see him go offline when I come online or go offline in the middle of our conversation. I broke up with him and we kept talking for a few weeks now that I'm going home soon(long distance relationship) he says he wants to meet up and rekindle the love we had 🙄😣. It hurts that I wasted my precious year with this guy hoping he would go back to normal. I'm not saying I'm in a rush to get married but the fact that women have a time limit to do so makes it that much more saddening that he wasted my time. Now I have to breakup with him officially when I go home and move on
You do not have to have a full blown meeting or conversation. Clear lines: “You’re being inconsistent and unreliable. With the distance and your behavior this is not going to work. I hope that you find what you’re looking for and good bye.” This is a job, if you’re not executing, you’re fired.
@@jenniferlouissaint Yasssss👏👏👏👏 you said the word Lady!! You know those dang tricks...he knows she's vulnerable ,he'll prob try to get some physical assets AND THEN resume his bargain basement behaviour. CM you are worth more than whatever cheap acts he's given and is still tryna give. I highly recommend you cut n paste what Jenn said up top. He won't know what hit him. All the Best✨
CM I have been there. What hurts the most in the end is losing our precious time. Men know that we do have a time limit, so those who doesn't show through their actions that they have a life plan with you in it dont deserve a second of your time. Many men need ego boosts from women and you have to cut them loose. All the best ❤
This man speaking straight facts it's the actions, motives , consistency, and effort for me. A man who wants you will consistently show you and pursue young man who is not wasting your time will make time if he makes consistent excuses cant answer simple yes or no exactly that coming and goin ghosting shit yes he has put himself in a position to lose you and pursue your other options stop letting him waste your time CUT IT OFF SIS BLOCK DELETE MOVE ON PERIODT!🙌🙌🙌💅💪✌ Trust me what he wont do another will I promise you!!!!!!😜🤪🙌🙌😍😍
@@ElliotScottDating Thanks Elliot love your content 🙌🙌 moving on isnt always easy but staying isnt always worth it either especially when it's someone playing games.
We don’t want to listen to our guts all the time because it’s so disappointing, as we always come across phonies, players, and nutcases. For once we want our gut to be wrong lol. 😏
Dude I’ve made so many excuses for this dude. He’s my ex and is going to remain that forever! He just wanted the assets! Us women need to be more cautious and not give into unavailable men.
Exes are the most dangerous! I dumped an ex eons ago and he was more into me than him. Fast forward years later, I get divorced and we reconnect and he tells me “I’m the one that got away” yet he’s inconsistent, inconsiderate, future faked, broke promises. I was just looking to hook up since I had just left my marriage but once I wanted to venture into something more serious, I dropped him. Life is too short! Once you and that person aren’t on the same page you have to move on.
Hey Elliot, thanks alot. I have this mentality and principle in my life, once I break up with a guy no matter how much I loved and cared about him..... I never let him back into my life again coz I know they never change and they come back to pass time till they get someone else to accommodate them ❤
Thank you for your honesty. It's kindof the last message I needed to feel better about finally stepping away from this guy I've invested in for over two years - permanently. It's taken alot of crap to get to this point.
I really advocate for this guy’s channel. I’m sick of hearing all my homegirls’ hearts get broken with the red flags and signs literally in front of their face. Men have very simple minds, easy to decipher. And there’s a transition from boy to man as well. Men have integrity and clear intentions, period. Elliot is right, a man who truly likes you, will not put himself in a position to lose you. He won’t take you for granted. He will be consistent. And yes, I’m salty for the last girl I dated to not see that and choose a literal boy 11 years her junior who didn’t respect her from day 1 🤦🏽♂️. Can’t wait for that to burn 😈 😂. I
I know for a fact I'm generally delusional in life and try stay aware of my idealism but still get cognitive dissonance in relationships 😑 my gut feeling brought me here and 13 minutes later I've politely and lovingly given him the freedom to pick a direction and fuck off😂 Thank you for giving a fuck about the state of things. You've helped a lot❤ ... I may need to download this and revisit it every few months😂
This video ultimately has given me the strongest clarity I ever needed. The guy who I’ve been seeing for 5 months+, whom I left and he came back a week later is just here to waste my time. Despite him inviting me to be there for the biggest day of his life and meet his family, he’s off to uni for 10 months at the end of this month. It’s time for me to leave or simply create distance, as this isn’t it for me. Your not wanting a commitment from me, then you don’t need to be in my life like that anymore. I need a man who knows what he wants, is clear and decisive with it. Evidently, it just ain’t you. I need to protect myself and heart better.
I think every situation is different and unique, you can't group all dating situations together under one rule. Just use your instincts and knowledge to figure out what to do and you'll make the right decision, even if you don't, you will eventually. Just chill and things will fall into place.
I found out the hardest way that a man can even marry you and STILL just be using the woman I will set MUCH higher standards from now on I will NEVER wear rose colored glasses again Even marriage does not mean he wants a relationship
After being married twice I now think differently about marriage. It is a paper that is for possession and money control by the two parties. Love may not be there on either end or by only one. But, at least you get something out of the relationship for your time given to him such as a home, automobile, other possessions, and money. I know this sounds like it’s lacking depth but after doing this twice you want to get something tangible out of the time you give a man. Believe me, they will take your time and your body and give nothing in return if you let them.
It's the lies that gets me...my husband continues to lie over stuff we discussed that are true deal breakers in our marriage.. He got caught ..lied...then apologized...stated he will do better and I found out he is hiding what he's doing...I asked him about the situation because he has no idea that I know the truth. I asked him if he has done it again. And he lied. So now.. I am done!!
You are so correct sir !!! Ladies you will Dodge a big world of hurt bullet if you listen to this man!!! He’s truly telling you the truth!!! I really appreciate what he is saying!! Wish I had this advice years ago!!!
Guys usually want a relationship by date 3 with me. That’s rushing it. I need to know who I am dealing with first. Heck I move so slow they leave me lol.
A man who is really into you does not leave you if you slow. This men are players. They say and want a relationship with you after 3 dates to manipulate you. It is a trick. Especially when they leave you being slow. My unckle waited 7 years for his woman. She said... 1st i want to finish school. 2t first i want to marry you, before having sex and moving in together. He respected her conditions. They are 75 now. Bless you lady.
I feel like it's not so much about how fast you 'give it up' it's more so about to whom you give it up to. Because I know enough people that gave it up 'too fast' and are still in a happy relationship 🤷🏾♀️ I think the best way to go about it, is to follow your gut feeling, create your own standards and narrative and choose wisely. Bc at the end of the day, I would like to believe YOU know what's best for you and what works for you and if you don't, then learn what works for you naturally, by making those mistakes, I personally wouldn't recommend following specific rules on what not to do or to do... It's just not authentic
Yea but “giving it up fast” doesn’t give you enough time to properly vet and assess the man before sleeping with him. He could be a registered sex offender for all you know. It is better for a woman’s mental and emotional health to know where the guy’s head is at, and his intentions before giving it up. Instead, women give it up first and then hope later the guy commits. It usually doesn’t work that way. Due diligence is of the essence. I don’t know why people act like waiting a couple months or so before having sex is the end of the world.
It's not a good idea, casual sex. Those marriages that resulted are rare. I don't care if it's 2023, men still don't respect easy sex. It's a double standard but that's how it still is .
Today I told him i have to let him go, after months of hot and cold behaviour,and not responding to my messages. And he blocked me...what now elliot xx
My guess is that he blocked you because you rejected him first and it hurt his pride. I hope you stay strong and move forward and date more candidates that are worthy of you.
Sometimes I don’t even know if I want a relationship after 8 dates lol 😂😂😂 I agree this to be true 90 percent of the time . 10 percent gray area , I’ve wanted a relationship with some guys that wanted one with me but could not give them one due to circumstances. Sometimes timing is an issue .
@@BrooklynBaby100 OK. But it's not just about not having sex too soon it's also about him letting you in his Life. Meeting Friends and family. Him entering in your life. That should happen after Max 6 months.
6 years of ldr with a younger guy who hid me , never met me from the airport , bought me 2 xmass gifts 0 b day gifts 1 v day card, then dumped me online then ghosted me how dumb was i😔
The thing I love about you Elliot is how you call out this tendency women have to just bend themselves in every direction trying to understand men. Some women will give up years of their life trying to understand, support and be there for men who behave like little boys - whatever the reason for this. Women need to prioritize themselves. It's women who have a ticking clock and why would you give up so many of your fertile years when you could be starting a family with a grown-up, decent man, with someone who doesn't have any intentions. My son always says "a man always has a plan". If your man doesn't then tell him politely to go away and get one. A man without a plan is wasting your life. Oh and my son found a lovely girl, courted her for a year, and is now proposing. He wants to be married, settled down and have a family. He adores his gf and he knows that it's disrespectful to her to keep her dangling without a proper commitment. Since he never wants to hurt her, he isn't going to leave her wondering, and to Elliot's point he is not going to risk losing her to someone else.
Idk why This showed up on my feed. I haven’t watched these kind of videos in a while...ahh the good ole days, when I was dating!...SIKE!! I’m actually glad I moved on from this chapter. I’ve invested all that time in myself and turns out it wasn’t that bad. Now I’m the one refusing to settle. I don’t miss the time I would invest in understanding and figuring out how men think. All these dating channels for women and none for men to improve because we’re putting them on a pedestal. When we both shit. Why are they prize?? As soon as I stopped chasing, was the fastest time I seen them show up. They’re lined up at work, in my inbox and everywhere you could possibly think of. Now am the prize and honestly I’m not sure if I wanna change that. I’m still young and attractive and I’m gonna use this time for my come up. If it happens naturally then I’ll accept but no more looking!
I met a man a few months ago have had 12 consistent dates, he pays every time and we were talking daily (no sex) then Saturday he disappeared...I sent him a text this morning “hey is everything okay? The silence is not like you”. I’m bewildered?
Yea Suze, barring some freak accident, I'd venture to say the other commenters here are correct. Usually when it's that sharp of a cut off it's prob someone that he had his eye on for a bit but they weren't available or willing but now they are and he jumped at the opportunity. It legit happens like that these days. Some of these dudes are VERY convincing using dating as a pastime. With a smile like that you'll bounce back in no time though✨ All the best!
You never paid? Or even offered to? Call me dysfunctional, but I like to pay my fair share to avoid any sense of "obligation" whatsoever. Why does he have to pay every single time for 12 dates? Maybe he had a 12-date cutoff to see if she would ever offer to pay and, if not, she's entitled and taking him for granted. Or, he just didn't get any return (sex) on his investment? You would think after 12 dates though that he wouldn't just ghost her. If he doesn't contact her soon with some sort of explanation, she dodged a bullet and is better off. Well, better off either way. I'm older, but of the last two men I dated where it didn't work out for them, I was given a reasonable explanation from each that I could see and agreed with. The one even mentioned he didn't want to do "that ghost thing." lol He received lots of appreciation and best wishes from me. Good men. A more recent dating possibility was ended by me before it even started. In a long ago previous conversation we discussed, among other things, him being widowed and he mentioned that he really missed the "affection." He didn't take me up on any suggestions to go do something fun or grab lunch or dinner and only suggested coming to visit me at my home because he lives over an hours' drive away. He gave me his number. Later, during the pandemic, I texted him to see how he and his adult children were doing. We texted and talked a couple times and he started working in sexual innuendo and again suggested visiting me at my home. I couldn't deny to myself that this 67-year-old man was trying to booty call me. Does it never end? I'm an intelligent, active, interesting person--and apparently attractive enough for a booty call. I was actually pretty insulted. This man was otherwise civilized, smart and (I think) somewhat wealthy based on his main career, side gig (musician) and fact that he has his own little Cessna and classic sports car. I finally just mentioned to him that we apparently didn't share the same interests, and left it at that. Hey, old guys, the way to a real woman's heart (and booty) is through her mind! You want a gold-digger? Go for it, dude.
He did come back around ... he needed to work out his own path and said he is feeling more focused now and has a plan. I’m going to take it slow and feel my way with him because i feel very happy when we spend time together.
Elliot, you have studied literature so you must be an introvert. Nevetheless, you have an awesome youtube channel and you seem so open sharing your expertise with us. How the hell do you do it?
I see it for what it is: He is not true to his words, just no action. He wants my money, No give and take, He is not going to change, I saw and see his true colors. All you said true, active social media always texting to many. He sleeps around, but lies. Long Distance. A player. 5 years I keep it platonic. Thanks for your accurate advice. He needs too move on. I try but I am cordial , he keeps coming around, unreliable, not stable, who needs that kind of serious relationship.?
Alot of people are not looking for love they're looking for help
lol, yeah! help to love... themselves. Sorry, it's actually sad, though. Bad parenting. In essence.. love is important... the most important thing... and it starts from parents loving their child...
Like yourself
You can have both! 😉
@@CrystalDatingCoach both what?
@@matilda4406 Probably love *and* help...!?🤷🏼
If a man put himself in the position to lose you he should lose you.
You should be: Hard to get and EASY to lose.
Yeah!!
Thank You.
Amen
@@memoryrinehart
p
P
If a man ever says, "We'll see where it goes!" LEAVE. Thats his way of saying he likes you but not enough to snatch you up and claim you. If he isn't clear on his plan for you, say BYE.
Translation. I'm going to USE you until I find the Woman really like. Tell them to get LOST!
Your so right! I don't know if I want to cry or ball bust.
Yes, it hurts but men assign points to women. You simply did not meet all the things on his list to make it worth it. Sorry it hurts and they won't tell you to your face but when they meet dream girl they pounce.
@@JDoe-hb7pc OK it hurts. But Other people opinions about us are not out problem. Someone will appreciate you...believe me.
Not true. It just mean he doesn’t know if you’re suitable yet. Don’t rush people.
Genius phrase! So true ...”a guy who wants me will not put himself in a position to loose me.” That’s actually freeing!!!!!
It’s genius!
Truest statement everrr
Lose
@@flower9218 I mean hey, they want to “loose” us too. Lolol
Women legit need to stop caring so damn much. It’s freeing. I don’t mean we shouldn’t care at all, just stop caring about this sh*t to your own detriment. We have lives to live. We need to honor ourselves.
Well I don't care at all. I am done.
Yes i totally agree! Honour thy self!
STOP loving Men who give. Nothing.
Amen.
That’s a really good observation. Thanks for the comment
I don't even care anymore......just rather be the crazy old lady with a house full of cats!!!!!!
Me too!
Amen!!! Cats are the best ❤️💯
Cats rock! However, I would rather be the older lady, who looks younger, travels alot, drinks wine and goes to wine tastings. I'm already 35, but look 25, so I'm going to be one hot looking "old lady." Lol!
Already getting started I have 2 cats and live alone
Haha love this!
I dont care if he likes me, i like me. The end.
That is a very healthy way I will be the same bc I have learned I enjoy my own company very much LOL I LIKE ME TOO
I have recently started to like myself for who I am. I have been hurt to many times . So I have decided I'm going to be me. I have just moved in on my own and am busy with my new apartment and new job.
Snap.
😂😂😂😂👍👍👍👍
Amen...and that's ALL that matters.
Guys always try to come back , from what I've learned most are damaged and insecure ..dont feed their ego.
@@kvooo765 Yea so they can destroy you with the constructs you helped build them - ehm we think not.
@@kvooo765 best thing you can do is let 'em go. Let them heal themselves. Don't burn yourself trying to heal others and don't advice others to.
I am an Empath and if my ex narc heloed rebuilt me, i wiuld do the same but narcissists don't have compassiin and has a cristal ball to see the future bettail ? Think npt. Delusion
@@ritah4713 Yep! Happened to me
@@kvooo765 nope. Nope. Nope. What you do is building them up for the next one because by the end of your help all they will see you as is a therapist, nothing else.
Deceased husband DID do laundry,
vacuum, cook, out to restaurants a lot!.
Insisted he’s mowing yard,
weed eating, fixing vehicles,
fixing house, paying bills. Etc.
He made certain I’d have what
I needed before he died.
Including our Tombstone.
Medical situation.
Several times...
Everyday he’d say “I love you!”
“Hello Gorgeous!”
Then say with tears in his eyes,
“I worship the dirt you walk on!”
I loved him back the same way!
There’s so much more!
We lived in PEACE.
He died in PEACE.
I live in PEACE now...
Bc of His TRUE LOVE!
So lucky, may he RIP
That’s beautiful, so happy you had that with him. We all want that kind of guy.❤️
How I miss my Dale. He was just that kind of stand up guy. He was my Superman 😢
So beautiful! 💜
Sorry for your loss sugar. he sounded like 1 of a kind 💕
I would rather die alone (happily) than to compromise my sanity by someone who treats my love like a habit
🎯
ok
You are truly a “smarty pants”.
For all the ‘unsure’ ladies...that is your gut telling you “NO”...
Your gut feeling is NEVER wrong
Agreed
I don’t know if it’s the same for men. I consider myself to be pretty emotionally mature with a lot of experience with humans in general. My gut told me “safe”, but the reality was “used” 😕
Just met a guy this week. Only texting. He says on day 4 “send me a pic of those tootsie pops In your mouth lol”.....ummm I’m 46 and don’t have time for such ignorance and arrogance. Next.
This guy who never dated me now after 4 years wants to pick up where we left off? So what does he want now? I’m easy and his last resort ?
Eww I know I went out with someone who called me babygirl,,gross I’m 50
@@burberryclaretred6676 Please ignore him, he should have given it his best effort the first time!
@@BK-tp6jf Oh, yes, believe it. They don't grow up no matter how old they are. I was shocked too when I was in my 40s and started dating again after my divorce. Now in my 60s I see where the term "dirty only man comes from". Men have no filter on how old they are. They still get just as excited on looking at a young woman as if they are the same age. This I've seen because I have an attractive daughter and have seen their first response. And these are decent men. 🤪👀👅 Not sickos. Sorry, it's in their testosterone. The main reason dating is so hard and no decency is because of the SEXUAL REVOLUTION that I lived through. Dating was always done with the pursuit of marriage. And the goal was no nookies until. (Not that that happened) But men stayed more respectful. Look at old Elvis Presley movies. In the end he always asked the girl to marry him.
BUT WAIT IT GETS WORSE! Now the Democrats are gender neutralizing us. You can't say mom or dad. Its parents. You have a child. SICKOS ARE TURNING US INTO ROBOTS.
@@jadedstar7442 Do we just keep letting them tell us what we can say and can't say? No ! This a joke. I will continue with my Constitutional right to free speech.
Some house plants would transform that space.
🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂
Long distance is usually a joke if the guy goes months and months without meeting you or seeing you in person. As, he’s possibly married or in a relationship and using you as a side friend.
I’ve been in a long distance relationship for a year now and we see each other every other month. It’s the best relationship I’ve had and we treat each other even better than when we first started dating. Constant FaceTimes and love. Long distance is never a joke if you know what you want.
@@juri8821 Exactly, I stated that it is a joke if you haven’t met or not seeing each other regularly. My comment was not meant for your situation. 😁
oh yea my ex broke up w me cus of distance even though i said i’ll come see u each week he said i just don’t have the time lol
Y
Yes I agree! I just broke up with a man who I met on a dating app because after 4 months of daily talking he was too busy to meet me. He only lived an hour away from me. Always had an excuse why he cant come see me. I got tired of it.
Here's the truth: he needs to want to be with you. You do you and if a man comes by often, is thoughtful, checks in (without being told) and respects your opinions that's someone who wants a relationship. You can't pick a man - he has to pick you.
“Stop beating a dead horse, you’re only breaking your own bones.”
Ha ha! I suppose your right! Xxx
Wow we had a argument today and he mention one subject was like beating a dead horse. Seems like I should just walk away
@@jenniferwhite1413 xoxo
@@anajayasmr7126 damn.. sorry your stud is a dud
Most of the time the gut feeling is real, sometimes we are just to cocky to follow our gut. I always like how real you are! 🥰🤗
Not cocky many dont trust themselves
@@toneyfox6328 I have been too cocky to not follow my gut. But every case is different, I'd say my case was one in a thousand 🤷
@@michelleperez4274 i got u my love least u are honest
Michelle Perez,Your lovely smile 😊 can make the news!😊😊🤙
@@oscarwilliamson1264 you're so sweet, thank you 😊
Basically, if a guy really loves us (is sexually attracted, likes us mentally and is bonded emotionally and will make personal sacrifices for our happiness), we will feel safe and loved and won't be wondering.
Apparently no guy has ever wanted a relationship with me because they all put themselves in a position to lose me.
Do you do things that they will want you? OR do you act stand offish? We have have to be appealing and caring too. If that goes unnoticed or unappreciated; THEN they are losers.
I feel ya girl! Felt like no one chooses me either!
What type of men are you going after?
Same
I hope you are well today. I feel what you are saying ❤. Never excuse yourself for having a good heart.
One time when I was watching one of your lives, we were going back and forth about my situation with a guy coming back after pulling away. You were saying what you say here, that he never would have pulled away if he was serious. It was hard to hear but shortly after, I let him go internally. I had to emotionally let him go. And once I did that, I began getting asked out by other men and am getting back into dating again soon. Thx.
It's all a cycle baby! The only thing you have to give up for your new life is your old one!
It's an awful cycle. Hurt then hurt then hurt then hurt again, ad finem.
Yeah been there. Appears, disappears, appears again. Hurting, led me to heart ache
Makes complete sense.
If I guy really likes you be won't put himself in a position to lose you.
He should be willing to commit to a relationship after eight dates.
Well said.
So don’t have sex until 8 dates in
8 dates? lmao if he really like you it only take 3-4
same goes for you ladies. If you really like him, you won’t put yourself in a position to lose him. Goes both ways. That’s fair to say.
8 :0
At 40yo, I hate dating now. I have such envy of everyone who has found themselves a loving committed partner in life. I wish I had that, but I can’t find it anywhere.
I feel this 150%,my friend.
If you already have a passport - start booking flights - see more of the world & you will gain perspective. Blessings to you 💕🙏🏽
stop claiming your negativity. research youtube. trust God
Have you ever had one love in the past 20years? If yes, then it's time to celebrate what was & start to concentrate on yourself. If you've not had one, then stay hopeful & love yourself most of all. There's a lot of us in this situation. Each sit is different. But we must stay happy & hopeful. Most of all spiritual & lovingl. Love to you all
Try being older than 40, uts tough it seems that some of us are luckier in love and some of us hv a really hard time and may end up single.
He calls and make Dates he likes you. He Texts you every day. Morning and nite. Send cute messages. MEANS NOTHING.
Yes , because he has a girl for each day I bet ! So yes .... you need seriousness and real commitment and share the same life long vision .... stay blessed. Pace to you !
I couldn't agree more
@@maryt7959 Stop rushing into their beds!
Preach woman yassss
Thank you!
Coach Elliot is so right ! I have dated a few men and realized after a few to many dates they didn’t want the same thing . I now have met me a man who after 3 weeks of us dating ( though we met 5 years ago) asked me to be exclusive. It is now going on 4 months and he hasn’t changed, though we had a few fights he is always the one to do the chasing , he has stepped up since I lost my job end of sept , still buys me flowers every other week , I’m with this man just about every day helping him with his business and I have my own key And my stuff at his house . He hates going a day without me . I’m looking forward to my first thanksgiving with him and our two grown sons . Ladies , if he doesn’t commit after a certain time , let it go because most men will continue to get it all without the commitment .
Why are you helping him with his business? Are you his employee? Or are you just helping to build it? I would not do that if I were you. Is he paying your bills aside from buying flowers?
@@ShinySilverBunny one thing I will not allow a man to take advantage of me for money ,. He has a landscaping and irrigation company , He is showing me things and keeping me busy while I’m not working . He is also going to give my son work cash in hand over the holidays . He gave my front yard a make over with all new landscaping and cost me nothing , he also fixed things in my house , he pays pretty much everything.
@@nicolebrowne3632 right on. You got it girl!!
Thank you! I needed to see this.
True
Guys do a thousand crazy things & so don't take em seriously. Take yourself seriously! Stay confident, loving & spiritually sound.
I attract men who don't know how to handle my loyalty, straightforwardness ( that men say they want),independence, thoughtfulness, empathetic nature.
I feel they are use to toxic women that when a real one comes they get scared or think i have alterior motives.
I feel all the real men are taken, gay or want to stay single because they've been hurt so much.
Don't give up on life and the universe I know of a great man who helped you me fix my broken hear beat relationship and everything was restored to pormal in days without delay
Text him on WhatsApp
+1=2=0=4=8=0=8=2=2=3=4...
I’ve been sayin this for days now. Your comment is definitely my confirmation🙌🏽. The whole damn part💯💯
That's me exactly I feel too much and the men that I Date don't feel enough. Drives me nuts.
I had a similar situation happen. The guy was buttering me up in the beginning and was looking to move back to his home state, my state. Says he was going to move to my city specifically. He was expecting me to give it up. I didn't. Then he ghosted lol. These guys will tell you anything to get in your pants 😅
Or move in.
@@jackseve lol true!
Sounds like you avoided a disaster. ❤️
@@jackseve This...
This literally just happened to me verbatim!!!
Elliot Scott you are 100% correct. We as women need to stop opening our legs and being idiots with men full stop. Wait assess, make sure all his actions meet his words. Stop being easy access, no man I know refuses sex. If you enjoy being a used up door mat. Then ignore and keep doing your thing that clearly is not working. I learnt the hard way and got wise. We all make mistakes but for goodness sake stop repeating them.
But if you did give up the assets and think you messed up? turn it around and say you used him too. Just sayin we as woman can’t be left feeling guilty all the time because we “gave it up” be a lioness ladies stop feeling guilty. 🦁 do what’s right and we won’t feel guilty bottomline
💯
Ladies Don't give up your peach, until he shows you he really cares. Hold off
Thank you for the heart on my comment, I really appreciate your advice because its not sugar coated, you keep 100% cuss words and all! Your genuine and it shows thank you Elliott
@@autumnclark631 you must be a precious being
@@lioydwilliams1850 i do my best
So hard
@@gloriaa0214
Your right! Because let's face it women love sex too. Ive had my share of hooking up on the 1st date, and that basically set my place with the guy, I never leveled up to GF material just booty call. So I guess if you dont want him long term the .
The men that comes after me never got love from their mom, they are always looking for the love their mom never gave them.
Sad. So many broken men
Yep, dump these type guys that don’t care if they do things that may lose you. It’s a waste of your precious time when they could care less. Find someone that actually puts in the effort.
If he calls you mommy, there's an entirely separate set of issues
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Nicole Jennings lol unless he is Hispanic Mami is actually an endearment ( call actual mom Ama )😂
@@shirleymorales3161 still Freud would have a word or two hundred thousand to say on that.
🤣🤣
The " good looking Dude" is a Narcissist who is trying to Hoover the Lady from California up. He is not worthy of her. Go No Contact and learn about Narcisstic Abuse Recovery to save your Self the heartache. I am sending love and hugs from Washington State, USA, Jeanne of In Loving Hands Counseling and ASMR
100% narcissist! They need constant supply wherever they can get it to feed their ego.
He's right. Experience talking here: I waited longer than Elliot says. And this guy did get better. HOWEVER, the principle still applies. Holidays suck, because the principle still applies. Just because we're around each other does not mean he cherishes me. He does not. He knows he has a good woman, his friends know... but it's not in his heart. This guy is not even a bad guy or a player. He keeps to himself and is slightly generous but I don't have his heart. Elliott is right. A dumb amount of time has gone by at this point and I don't have his heart, so it is a little unhealthy to say the least. Elliot is right.
Yuou're right. I was inexperienced, it was my first, coming so late in my late 30's. I was waiting for two years. It did get better, but when it's low it's very low. And it still ended.
He IS a bad guy if he knows you're not in his heart, but he keeps you around for your benefits.
@@Alixir1228 Two years since I posted that. I was still looking for potential. You are right. He was a bad guy. An opportunist.
I’m so glad I don’t date. I don’t have time for this mess.
Right. Too many games smh
Same. Some bs
PREACH!!
Date when you've realized a man is decently mature after you've known him for 5-8 months
@Kate Middlefinger oouch. Be graceful inhere
I like "positively cautious." It's true about gut feelings. Women have very instinctive, intuitive awareness that we do not use often enough, or do not tap into completely. Listen to that inner conscious voice when in a place of imbalance. Very seldom is it wrong. Great job again, Elliot! 😊💯
👍🎯🎯🎯
Lisa Joye,hope you are with a good man
@@lioydwilliams1850 Actually, not right now. I have learned to let go of unhealthy situations and focus on becoming the best I can be for myself first, then for someone else, if it is to be in my future. It is an ongoing process.
i dont know why i've never felt anything like this my gut feeling just tells me to trust him and relax😅😌, i've never feel so peaceful while being in a relationship.. im not obssesed or too attached its just so balanced and i love him, he reciprocates this i think its why i feel at peace
I believe you have found the one if your soul is at peace .Congratulation he really could be the one
@@lashondaward2924 I agree. I told my daughter that rather than that excited feeling you have in the beginning, what she's watching for are feelings of peace and well-being.
When you meet a man and start talking about things mention what you will and not tolerate and stick to it
Don't let anyone test you don't fall for sugary words
All relationships are usually perfect in the beginning
Wait and see
Be a listener not a talker and you will find out who he reminds you of
If it is someone you didn't like then don't try to change them
Find what you are looking for
Its out there but you can't find them wearing rose colored glasses...take them off!!!!
Yesssss!!!! This! When they remind you of someone else that’s a huge flag!
@@Dia_Hunny_Boo yes it is...I know
This was hard to hear but so soooooo true. Listen to Elliot.
Laura,your lovely smile can make the news
Laura,ulu look stunning 🌹🌹🌷🌷 dear
I think if a woman says "It will be different this time " It is a very very bad sign It is NOT going to work out
I usually put in the effort, but if I see that she's not reciprocating it back, I just walk away.
“What is he doing now?” Reminds me if the Janet Jackson song “What have you done for me lately” aka, my new theme tune! 😂
So he doesn't like me, he's just addicted to me. What a cruel real raw TRUTH!
I met my man online, went on a date within a week of talking and THE SECOND WE SPOKE I knew this was different. I was like ok don't fuck this up, this is it if you really want it to be. We went for dinner and forgot to look at menus we couldn't stop talking. We talked and talked and talked, went for a drink and talked and talked more. Before I knew it 3 hours had gone by. Usually I'm the introvert who will look for an escape because dating is exhausting, but this was so easy. We organised to meet again a few days later, a date that ended up lasting about 9 hours. We connected on such a deep, emotional level, and there were no games, no "does he/ doesn't he," it was just easy! 5 weeks later we went into full lockdown, so I moved in with him. Even though lockdown has ended, we still live together and are building a life together. We met only 10 months ago today, lived together 9 months, and neither of us have ever been more content. 10 months isn't long, but I've got a good feeling 😄
You
Ate so rigjt
The
👊
Thats awesome! Hope you are still going strong!
Absolutely love your videos! As a woman, even though there are topics that are uncomfortable for us to hear or come to the realization of situations, I can really respect and appreciate your bluntness and just getting right down to the point of the matter and calling out these shitbag kind of guys for what they are and helping us women to not run with our blinders on or make excuses! As far as I'm concerned that takes balls so keep up the good work!
Yes it’s not pleasant to hear but so needed and helpful . Thanks Elliot !
And even after 6-8 dates don’t give it up until you’re married. 6-8 exclusive, 1 year of more dates, engaged...marriage then make all the love you want exclusively off the dating market.
Gotta play your cards right, dating is a game, “i know I know it sucks” but what i do is i “play dumb at times,I feed their egos, I tell them what they want to hear, I act as I don’t like them as much & play with their minds alit, dress causally but same time to the nines...It works because I’m testing them, I learned this from a young age.. I was a nice girl and kept it real before but that doesn’t work, us ladies we gotta be 100 steps ahead of them...We have the power to control everything, and I mean everything 😉.. Don’t give up your “goods” to any men!!! Make him work for you and want you ..👌🏼 We are powerful ladies, don’t give up that power ...
I met a guy a year and a half ago and I still haven't had sex with him. He is beyond obsessed with me till this day. I don't rush anything, as I matter to me and may the best guy for me be the man for me... Then he can have all of the goodies.
@@Sagha4 exactly!!👏🏼👏🏼 you know exactly what to do! Keep it up.. When I was younger I was so naive and gave it up to this guy I really liked, I thought by just giving it up would keep him, but I learned real quick, hell naw.. Us women we really do have the power over them.. I realize we gotta make them like us more then we do like them.. hope that made sense lol
You should teach a class My grandma told me dating was a game I wish I had understood how much it is a game I would have enjoyed dating so much more than stupidity getting married so fast 3 TIMES
@@Sagha4 Really the only problem I see with this is what is the point if you do not get to enjoy sex with him Or are you having sex with others and just denying him sex Either way it sounds like a bad relationship Because a sexless relationship is not a good relationship
Everything you said is valid 100%. That why u got to have options of guys to date ladies. Especially for men that just want to pop in & out of life all the time
This is so true! I have had a recent experience about that. They come back around because they like to consume, not to invest. Some are so stupid lazy that they don’t even realize that and they just lie even to themselves saying “I am a good guy” ....yeah, right :(
😂 Elliot is right. If he calls you Mommy - run girl, run!
What he is doing now is breadcrumbing me, taking me for granted and I'm not even a priority anymore he says he's busy. I've tried the detachment of pulling away as he pulled away... he wasn't fazed. I've tried talking like an adult, he says he's busy but I see him go offline when I come online or go offline in the middle of our conversation. I broke up with him and we kept talking for a few weeks now that I'm going home soon(long distance relationship) he says he wants to meet up and rekindle the love we had 🙄😣. It hurts that I wasted my precious year with this guy hoping he would go back to normal. I'm not saying I'm in a rush to get married but the fact that women have a time limit to do so makes it that much more saddening that he wasted my time. Now I have to breakup with him officially when I go home and move on
You do not have to have a full blown meeting or conversation. Clear lines:
“You’re being inconsistent and unreliable. With the distance and your behavior this is not going to work. I hope that you find what you’re looking for and good bye.”
This is a job, if you’re not executing, you’re fired.
@@jenniferlouissaint Yasssss👏👏👏👏 you said the word Lady!! You know those dang tricks...he knows she's vulnerable ,he'll prob try to get some physical assets AND THEN resume his bargain basement behaviour. CM you are worth more than whatever cheap acts he's given and is still tryna give.
I highly recommend you cut n paste what Jenn said up top. He won't know what hit him.
All the Best✨
CM I have been there. What hurts the most in the end is losing our precious time. Men know that we do have a time limit, so those who doesn't show through their actions that they have a life plan with you in it dont deserve a second of your time. Many men need ego boosts from women and you have to cut them loose. All the best ❤
This man speaking straight facts it's the actions, motives , consistency, and effort for me. A man who wants you will consistently show you and pursue young man who is not wasting your time will make time if he makes consistent excuses cant answer simple yes or no exactly that coming and goin ghosting shit yes he has put himself in a position to lose you and pursue your other options stop letting him waste your time CUT IT OFF SIS BLOCK DELETE MOVE ON PERIODT!🙌🙌🙌💅💪✌ Trust me what he wont do another will I promise you!!!!!!😜🤪🙌🙌😍😍
facts on facts on facts girl!
@@ElliotScottDating Thanks Elliot love your content 🙌🙌 moving on isnt always easy but staying isnt always worth it either especially when it's someone playing games.
The gut never lies. Thank you for this. Xoxo
"don't let him call you Mommy". Oh my..😂😂😂
Exactly
Mami, with a Spanish tone is actually different
@@zoraidacastro5403 exactly zo
Why not? Mine calls me momma l!
He wants you to be his mother. Beware. Look up narcissism....
We don’t want to listen to our guts all the time because it’s so disappointing, as we always come across phonies, players, and nutcases. For once we want our gut to be wrong lol. 😏
Yes v true
Lol I love your lack of political correctness
THIS is probably your best video of all times!!!
Finally I have the feeling while you‘re talking, that you really want to help us!
You are right, I knew that in my gut. Mostly because he lives on the other country and it would only be long distance!
Dude I’ve made so many excuses for this dude. He’s my ex and is going to remain that forever! He just wanted the assets! Us women need to be more cautious and not give into unavailable men.
Exes are the most dangerous! I dumped an ex eons ago and he was more into me than him.
Fast forward years later, I get divorced and we reconnect and he tells me “I’m the one that got away” yet he’s inconsistent, inconsiderate, future faked, broke promises. I was just looking to hook up since I had just left my marriage but once I wanted to venture into something more serious, I dropped him.
Life is too short! Once you and that person aren’t on the same page you have to move on.
Damn this was some hardcore truth I needed to hear 😔😒
6-8 dates in the midst of pandemic? I’m doomed
🤣
Exactly lol
🤣🤣
Dates can be a hike, a walk in park, coffee by your cars, eating outside restaurant if weather good
Elliott needs his own television show or podcast !!!! You need a relationship book for us women
Hey Elliot, thanks alot. I have this mentality and principle in my life, once I break up with a guy no matter how much I loved and cared about him..... I never let him back into my life again coz I know they never change and they come back to pass time till they get someone else to accommodate them ❤
I’m the same way.......break up = no contact EVER.......
An ex is an EX for a reason.
Thank you for your honesty. It's kindof the last message I needed to feel better about finally stepping away from this guy I've invested in for over two years - permanently. It's taken alot of crap to get to this point.
Elliot is the type of guy I need in my life as my best friend 😆
Very true :)
I really advocate for this guy’s channel. I’m sick of hearing all my homegirls’ hearts get broken with the red flags and signs literally in front of their face. Men have very simple minds, easy to decipher. And there’s a transition from boy to man as well. Men have integrity and clear intentions, period. Elliot is right, a man who truly likes you, will not put himself in a position to lose you. He won’t take you for granted. He will be consistent. And yes, I’m salty for the last girl I dated to not see that and choose a literal boy 11 years her junior who didn’t respect her from day 1 🤦🏽♂️. Can’t wait for that to burn 😈 😂. I
I know for a fact I'm generally delusional in life and try stay aware of my idealism but still get cognitive dissonance in relationships 😑 my gut feeling brought me here and 13 minutes later I've politely and lovingly given him the freedom to pick a direction and fuck off😂
Thank you for giving a fuck about the state of things. You've helped a lot❤ ... I may need to download this and revisit it every few months😂
Hahahhaa don’t let him call you “mommy” I’m crying!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Where was this 10 years ago? I’m stuck in this never ending situationship
For 10 years ? thats rough ! Hope you'l find the courage to leave
Giiiirl... look up sheraseven1
@@GemZbabe101 right
Leave
@@GemZbabe101 for real
This video ultimately has given me the strongest clarity I ever needed. The guy who I’ve been seeing for 5 months+, whom I left and he came back a week later is just here to waste my time. Despite him inviting me to be there for the biggest day of his life and meet his family, he’s off to uni for 10 months at the end of this month. It’s time for me to leave or simply create distance, as this isn’t it for me. Your not wanting a commitment from me, then you don’t need to be in my life like that anymore. I need a man who knows what he wants, is clear and decisive with it. Evidently, it just ain’t you. I need to protect myself and heart better.
If a guy truly loves you, he wont put himself in a position to lose you
I think every situation is different and unique, you can't group all dating situations together under one rule. Just use your instincts and knowledge to figure out what to do and you'll make the right decision, even if you don't, you will eventually. Just chill and things will fall into place.
I found out the hardest way that a man can even marry you and STILL just be using the woman I will set MUCH higher standards from now on I will NEVER wear rose colored glasses again Even marriage does not mean he wants a relationship
After being married twice I now think differently about marriage. It is a paper that is for possession and money control by the two parties. Love may not be there on either end or by only one. But, at least you get something out of the relationship for your time given to him such as a home, automobile, other possessions, and money. I know this sounds like it’s lacking depth but after doing this twice you want to get something tangible out of the time you give a man. Believe me, they will take your time and your body and give nothing in return if you let them.
@godlove Yes so very true . Just look at shanann watts situation. RIP.
It's true! If something feels suspicious it's usually because there is something wrong.
It's the lies that gets me...my husband continues to lie over stuff we discussed that are true deal breakers in our marriage..
He got caught ..lied...then apologized...stated he will do better and I found out he is hiding what he's doing...I asked him about the situation because he has no idea that I know the truth. I asked him if he has done it again. And he lied. So now.. I am done!!
You are so correct sir !!! Ladies you will Dodge a big world of hurt bullet if you listen to this man!!! He’s truly telling you the truth!!! I really appreciate what he is saying!! Wish I had this advice years ago!!!
We can't keep watering a dead flower....it's pointless! 😘😘 Forget it.....
Wow... wish I heard this years ago. Thank you for writing on the wall. Love you!!!
After five years and a one sided relationship with a 2 yr old I finally left his ass for good hope he found himself and whatever he’s looking for
Guys usually want a relationship by date 3 with me. That’s rushing it. I need to know who I am dealing with first. Heck I move so slow they leave me lol.
A man who is really into you does not leave you if you slow.
This men are players. They say and want a relationship with you after 3 dates to manipulate you. It is a trick. Especially when they leave you being slow.
My unckle waited 7 years for his woman. She said...
1st i want to finish school.
2t first i want to marry you, before having sex and moving in together. He respected her conditions. They are 75 now.
Bless you lady.
You are 100% right... OMG! I see it now after dating a guy for 9 months.
Aye the gymsweat always makes an appearance with wise words of relationships👌
Yep! All of them come back, if you let them. But in between he does his break and take to start from beginning with you.
I feel like it's not so much about how fast you 'give it up' it's more so about to whom you give it up to. Because I know enough people that gave it up 'too fast' and are still in a happy relationship 🤷🏾♀️ I think the best way to go about it, is to follow your gut feeling, create your own standards and narrative and choose wisely. Bc at the end of the day, I would like to believe YOU know what's best for you and what works for you and if you don't, then learn what works for you naturally, by making those mistakes, I personally wouldn't recommend following specific rules on what not to do or to do... It's just not authentic
Yea but “giving it up fast” doesn’t give you enough time to properly vet and assess the man before sleeping with him. He could be a registered sex offender for all you know. It is better for a woman’s mental and emotional health to know where the guy’s head is at, and his intentions before giving it up.
Instead, women give it up first and then hope later the guy commits. It usually doesn’t work that way. Due diligence is of the essence. I don’t know why people act like waiting a couple months or so before having sex is the end of the world.
It's not a good idea, casual sex. Those marriages that resulted are rare. I don't care if it's 2023, men still don't respect easy sex. It's a double standard but that's how it still is .
Women keep your proper place. Dont give it up. Hold the power.....
Today I told him i have to let him go, after months of hot and cold behaviour,and not responding to my messages. And he blocked me...what now elliot xx
Now it's time you move on lol. Nothing more here. It was done months ago. I am proud of you!
My guess is that he blocked you because you rejected him first and it hurt his pride. I hope you stay strong and move forward and date more candidates that are worthy of you.
@@ElliotScottDating I like you for one thing, you are straight forward man
@@nkeiruka5930 awe shucks. Thank you
@@ElliotScottDating you welcome
Sometimes I don’t even know if I want a relationship after 8 dates lol 😂😂😂
I agree this to be true 90 percent of the time . 10 percent gray area , I’ve wanted a relationship with some guys that wanted one with me but could not give them one due to circumstances. Sometimes timing is an issue .
8 dates and no SEX...if he's still around. He's a keeper.
@@CrystalDatingCoach I went 6 months and no sex and I still didn’t keep him.
@@BrooklynBaby100 OK. But it's not just about not having sex too soon it's also about him letting you in his Life. Meeting Friends and family. Him entering in your life. That should happen after Max 6 months.
6 years of ldr with a younger guy who hid me , never met me from the airport , bought me 2 xmass gifts 0 b day gifts 1 v day card, then dumped me online then ghosted me how dumb was i😔
The thing I love about you Elliot is how you call out this tendency women have to just bend themselves in every direction trying to understand men. Some women will give up years of their life trying to understand, support and be there for men who behave like little boys - whatever the reason for this. Women need to prioritize themselves. It's women who have a ticking clock and why would you give up so many of your fertile years when you could be starting a family with a grown-up, decent man, with someone who doesn't have any intentions. My son always says "a man always has a plan". If your man doesn't then tell him politely to go away and get one. A man without a plan is wasting your life. Oh and my son found a lovely girl, courted her for a year, and is now proposing. He wants to be married, settled down and have a family. He adores his gf and he knows that it's disrespectful to her to keep her dangling without a proper commitment. Since he never wants to hurt her, he isn't going to leave her wondering, and to Elliot's point he is not going to risk losing her to someone else.
Idk why This showed up on my feed. I haven’t watched these kind of videos in a while...ahh the good ole days, when I was dating!...SIKE!! I’m actually glad I moved on from this chapter. I’ve invested all that time in myself and turns out it wasn’t that bad. Now I’m the one refusing to settle. I don’t miss the time I would invest in understanding and figuring out how men think. All these dating channels for women and none for men to improve because we’re putting them on a pedestal. When we both shit. Why are they prize?? As soon as I stopped chasing, was the fastest time I seen them show up. They’re lined up at work, in my inbox and everywhere you could possibly think of. Now am the prize and honestly I’m not sure if I wanna change that. I’m still young and attractive and I’m gonna use this time for my come up. If it happens naturally then I’ll accept but no more looking!
I met a man a few months ago have had 12 consistent dates, he pays every time and we were talking daily (no sex) then Saturday he disappeared...I sent him a text this morning “hey is everything okay? The silence is not like you”. I’m bewildered?
They switch up just like that.
He found someone else
Yea Suze, barring some freak accident, I'd venture to say the other commenters here are correct. Usually when it's that sharp of a cut off it's prob someone that he had his eye on for a bit but they weren't available or willing but now they are and he jumped at the opportunity. It legit happens like that these days. Some of these dudes are VERY convincing using dating as a pastime.
With a smile like that you'll bounce back in no time though✨
All the best!
You never paid? Or even offered to? Call me dysfunctional, but I like to pay my fair share to avoid any sense of "obligation" whatsoever. Why does he have to pay every single time for 12 dates? Maybe he had a 12-date cutoff to see if she would ever offer to pay and, if not, she's entitled and taking him for granted. Or, he just didn't get any return (sex) on his investment? You would think after 12 dates though that he wouldn't just ghost her. If he doesn't contact her soon with some sort of explanation, she dodged a bullet and is better off. Well, better off either way.
I'm older, but of the last two men I dated where it didn't work out for them, I was given a reasonable explanation from each that I could see and agreed with. The one even mentioned he didn't want to do "that ghost thing." lol He received lots of appreciation and best wishes from me. Good men.
A more recent dating possibility was ended by me before it even started. In a long ago previous conversation we discussed, among other things, him being widowed and he mentioned that he really missed the "affection." He didn't take me up on any suggestions to go do something fun or grab lunch or dinner and only suggested coming to visit me at my home because he lives over an hours' drive away. He gave me his number. Later, during the pandemic, I texted him to see how he and his adult children were doing. We texted and talked a couple times and he started working in sexual innuendo and again suggested visiting me at my home. I couldn't deny to myself that this 67-year-old man was trying to booty call me. Does it never end? I'm an intelligent, active, interesting person--and apparently attractive enough for a booty call. I was actually pretty insulted. This man was otherwise civilized, smart and (I think) somewhat wealthy based on his main career, side gig (musician) and fact that he has his own little Cessna and classic sports car. I finally just mentioned to him that we apparently didn't share the same interests, and left it at that. Hey, old guys, the way to a real woman's heart (and booty) is through her mind! You want a gold-digger? Go for it, dude.
He did come back around ... he needed to work out his own path and said he is feeling more focused now and has a plan. I’m going to take it slow and feel my way with him because i feel very happy when we spend time together.
Elliot, you have studied literature so you must be an introvert. Nevetheless, you have an awesome youtube channel and you seem so open sharing your expertise with us. How the hell do you do it?
Real men that are interested to a lady will take real efforts and real kindness. Put more time and emotions to you.
"Go to the fridge lil johnny" 😂😂😂😂😂 omg
“Dont let him call you mommy”
😂I burst out laughing 🤣
I see it for what it is: He is not true to his words, just no action. He wants my money, No give and take, He is not going to change, I saw and see his true colors. All you said true, active social media always texting to many. He sleeps around, but lies. Long Distance. A player. 5 years I keep it platonic. Thanks for your accurate advice. He needs too move on. I try but I am cordial , he keeps coming around, unreliable, not stable, who needs that kind of serious relationship.?
The gut brain is for real, good video Elliot ❤️
lol. scott is the truth and the light of telling it like it is. THANK YOU words of truth I am following.
chicago love
best advice I ever got about relationships
Thank you :)
Great advice! With me in the beginning, it's one strike and you're out.
If he hurt you once...it will continue.
Roe Lacasse, you got a lovely smile