What’s really interesting to me is how guys expect us to take their heartbreak seriously (he’s been cheated on so he has a wall up). But a broken heart is never respected when it comes to women, we’re just scorned & bitter. I’ve seen men commenting on many of these TH-cam videos about as resentful & bitter as anyone you’ve seen. It can be really startling seeing the baggage some of these men carry when their egos get bruised.
@@camillawilliams1418 Agreed! 100%. I remember talking to a male friend who was walking around looking unstable. He said he ACTUALLY felt like he was going crazy. I was like “ Is this your 1st heartbreak?”. He said yup…
Yep, same like single mothers are normalized but single fathers- praised and admired. Is the same shitty double standards and it will never go away 🤷🏻♀️
Love this - my husband asked me to be his gf on date 3 (about 4 weeks into early dating). That seems really fast in today's dating climate, however, I can attest that any man who wants a relationship with you, WILL make it happen ladies. Don't be confused. I've also learned the hard way before.
I won’t be sleeping or getting emotionally involved in the first few weeks especially when you do not know them and met them of a date App 90% time wasters on there or wanting sex after a couple of dates ! A man is more likely to stay around with the women he’s spent he’s money on and invested in ! Don’t settle for less ladies
8 weeks to convince a guy? I feel like good men don't need so much time to see if they want to commit unless like they're not looking for a real relationship in the first place.
Good men don’t. I’ve heard men typically know pretty early on whether or not to date you. BUT I think the whole point is essentially for us. We need time to properly get to know this guy slowly over time to make sure he is who he says he is. Unless you’ve known him already for a long time (talking years) or know people who know him personally, I’d say take it slow. Especially since psychopaths/narcissists prey on people who don’t mind moving fast.
My husband was divorced in June and we were married in August. He was emotionally ready to move on with me. That’s very rare . We had a good marriage for 10 years until he died.
"If you want casual, you'll be treated casual" ~ not always the case! Just processing a breakup with a guy who said: "Let's see where this goes" & he started saying & doing things that were out of alignment with the "casual" paradigm (namely, boyfriend things) which made things incredibly confusing throughout our time together. Later on, he let it slip that he never wanted a relationship to begin with & I've come to the conclusion that he was only doing those things to "hook" me in & get the sex that he wants. How I wish men would "clear the air" & state exactly what it is they want: friends with benefits, casual or longterm.
You'd think it would be simple. People could just be straightforward with what they want, it would save a lot of time and pain for people. Sadly, many people lack the emotional intelligence for this even though it seems so simple.
Girl next time make sure the dude says yes he’s looking to be serious and it’s with you, make him buy you a ring (not necessarily an engagement ring) or something of value $$ to make him prove to you that that’s what he really wants. No one has time for games in this day n age!!
They’re not ever going to be honest, because that would largely decrease their ability to get consistent sex. I’ve learned that people are only honest when it actually benefits them to be so. So most will continue to lie.
Elliott this is one if your most concise videos . Its the best explanation I ever heard of what happens when a man's behaviour changes. I was literally nodding my head at everyrhing you described. I've just got to the stage of already being able to filter them when i start talking to them.
Yep either they're all in or they're not and it goes quick because it feels right and then it transitions into a relationship. If you're with the right guy they're not gonna judge you.
Either a guy likes u or not. Whatever u say or not is not gonna change his mind. I have my fun and keep it moving. Some guys really like me and some don't. Idc
@@camillawilliams1418 the men on Bumble figured it out... they wait for women to make the first move and they collect the messages for ego boosts, it's for an ego boost for 90% of the men on there. Elliot, can you make a video on this?
You need to listen to this man. Did anyone else hear the latest how Taylor Swift broke up with her boyfriend of 6 years; unbelievable. Let me guess, he didn't want to commit.
There's a guy I wasted 2 mos on. Just talking...for 8 weeks. He didn't plan any outings or even just to have lunch. Says "we're getting to know one another more", but yet didn’t want me talking to anyone else or hanging out with anyone else. He had been divorced for 3 years & had his ex still demanding money from him & talking sh*t to him. But yet, I was expected to cheer him up. It was always, "even if this doesn't work, we can still be friends." I didn't like the control factor without even being with him & needless to say, we couldn't be "friends" after I stopped wanting to "get to know" him more. Smh Don't settle or lower your standards. Oh yeah..and he was living with his son! Not his son living with him. 🤦♀️🙄😑
Had sumthin similar happen recently. If a guy doesnt prgress to calks, meetings etc within a month MAX. Cut your losses gurl this guy is playing games with you n other chicks at the same time. We have so much more value than these useless guys. Keep it moving.. next..next.. 😅🎉
Red flags all over the place. Any tendencies to control is a sign of narcissistic behavior. Not necessarily pathological/personality disorder, but definitely a strong flavor of narcissism. If I can offer my unsolicited advice, I’d say run run run and don’t look back
I am an attractive woman, but I noticed that my wittiness is what wins guys over, even to the point where they enjoy my company and go back and forth with me. I love 😘 a man that can be witty with me...I think I got this from having to always defend myself with all my silly male cousins...which are many.
Elliot I only match with guys that have "looking for relationships" on their profile as I have the same on mine, I talk about it on the first date to make sure we are on the same page, yet, after a few weeks pass the guy start pulling away and acting busy, I consider that I'm not pushy or too interested or too demanding, but I assume they lie from the go just to get me hooked and once they are a bit bored of me because they realise I'm actually serious and not gonna take bullshit they pull away, and I end up wasting weeks/couple of months on that.. what can I do differently?
What’s really interesting to me is how guys expect us to take their heartbreak seriously (he’s been cheated on so he has a wall up). But a broken heart is never respected when it comes to women, we’re just scorned & bitter. I’ve seen men commenting on many of these TH-cam videos about as resentful & bitter as anyone you’ve seen. It can be really startling seeing the baggage some of these men carry when their egos get bruised.
Hi Elliot, am so grateful to you for putting these videos out. I find them very unique and to the point as far as raw truth is concerned. Am trying to catch up on all your videos, too bad i came across your channel very late. Now doing 8 months of NC. Ex was unsure about relationship with me, tried the FWB approch on me, but i didn't give in, set my boundaries and cut off ties with him. He's onto his old triangulated supply. Both of them divorcees and narcs and obsessed with each other. Sadly, ex did me n his male BFF dirty, by doing his wife. His bff doesn't know abt this till date. Our serious relationship lasted only two months, after building good context with him and his family for more than a year, which the old supply was unable and incapable of doing. We all live very close, so they're benefiting when her hubby works hard and isn't around most of the time. She is very jealous of me and even destroyed her hubby friendship with my ex, and my ex relationship with me by poisoning his mind. After all this, ex still had her back instead of his friend or me. So been through a very horrible and painful breakup so much that it detonated my spirit. I watch your videos as they give me consulation and guidance that every woman on this earth needs to know. Keep them coming. ❤🙏✌
I had ten dates lasting hours at a time . He was fresh divorced on our tenth one . Talked about his 20 years with her . She left him . Tried to discuss the emotions . Was slow moving . Finally he tells me , after slow texting and one sentence replies , he’s not ready for a relationship ( he didn’t say in his profile either ) and he was fighting internally falling in love . I was gutted . I signed up to another dating app and found the same profile on that one . That hurts but the pattern will repeat unless he’s honest .
Question Elliot… What if you’ve known a guy for a couple of years and he’s chased you the whole time and then you start going out to see if it could become something more. What’s the rule for that? Because we had already been on more than 12 dates and known each other more than eight weeks just as friends. When or how do you approach the relationship conversation?
i do have a question, what if you almost get intimate after the first date and you say you would like to take it slow because you don't don't do that unless you're committed and they say they aren't looking to jump into a serious relationship and just want to date without expectations..... like i know its early but that seems like he knew right off the bat?
@@dianalereve5402 yeah thats why I told him that i don't get intimate outside of a relationship and that a platonic friendship is all i have to offer to offer. He said that worked and we never spoke again lol
I guess I see that anything with a recent guy I liked was screwed to begin with. After watching the video, the fact that he had been cheated on and been single for many years, those were two of the big red flags. Then I failed to even talk about what I was looking for before ever even getting together with him, so that's why I got taken advantage of!!
Elliot, I would love to hear your opinions on the reality dating shows. Like the Bachelor, Love is Blind, Married at First Sight, etc. How do you think these experiments work? I’m always so curious and always think it’s crazy they meet and are engaged or married after 20-30 days.
Entertainment is just capitalizing on the marriage/love establishment. It’s exploitation at its finest. I truely don’t take these shows seriously. And if they really do work it than it’s the exception to the rule. Kind of like how some people can get married a month after dating and stay together and in love for 30 years +
Ok I have a man that stead relationship in the very first conversation but how can you judge this advice on the timeline of dating based on a man that you can only see pretty much every other week because of custody? Is it just going to take longer for me?
U know what’s crazy ? The ones who’ve been single say after 2-3 after a long term relationship r still hung up on that girl😕 so dudes who’ve been in long term (unmarried) relationships watch out!
If that’s the pace that you are comfortable with then by all means continue to do so. However if you are wanting more, then you should make a suggestion to to pick up the pace, put the ball in his court and see what he does with that information. If nothing changes, then put a time limit on how much longer you will be willing to wait. ALWAYS be willing to walk away if necessary.
this guy places responsibility on women, we are tired. He furthers mysoginy by rating women by numbers, and saying men value physical attraction. the bar is so low for men it’s super sad!!
The men also lie…”I want a relationship…” to get sex. Ladies we have to be smart about it.
Yes, watch if his actions align with “wanting a relationship”. If they don’t, move on
Yes but so is women sometimes
Got to put him to the test though
Just got fooled with this one
Tell you “I love you”.
Sometimes a guy might want a relationship but it doesn’t mean he sees it with you. And vice versa
And it's ok
What’s really interesting to me is how guys expect us to take their heartbreak seriously (he’s been cheated on so he has a wall up). But a broken heart is never respected when it comes to women, we’re just scorned & bitter. I’ve seen men commenting on many of these TH-cam videos about as resentful & bitter as anyone you’ve seen. It can be really startling seeing the baggage some of these men carry when their egos get bruised.
💯💯💯
Men can’t handle but one heartbreak😏
@@camillawilliams1418 Agreed! 100%. I remember talking to a male friend who was walking around looking unstable. He said he ACTUALLY felt like he was going crazy. I was like “ Is this your 1st heartbreak?”. He said yup…
And the fact that they're just quite happy not dealing with their stuff while bouncing from person to person ~ very disappointing, indeed 👏🏻👏🏻
Yep, same like single mothers are normalized but single fathers- praised and admired.
Is the same shitty double standards and it will never go away 🤷🏻♀️
Love this - my husband asked me to be his gf on date 3 (about 4 weeks into early dating). That seems really fast in today's dating climate, however, I can attest that any man who wants a relationship with you, WILL make it happen ladies. Don't be confused. I've also learned the hard way before.
I won’t be sleeping or getting emotionally involved in the first few weeks especially when you do not know them and met them of a date App 90% time wasters on there or wanting sex after a couple of dates ! A man is more likely to stay around with the women he’s spent he’s money on and invested in ! Don’t settle for less ladies
👏👏👏
100% true.
the guy I was talking to was fresh out of a relationship and would always bring up his ex, almost used me as a therapist. I backed off real quick lol.
8 weeks to convince a guy? I feel like good men don't need so much time to see if they want to commit unless like they're not looking for a real relationship in the first place.
Good men don’t. I’ve heard men typically know pretty early on whether or not to date you. BUT I think the whole point is essentially for us. We need time to properly get to know this guy slowly over time to make sure he is who he says he is. Unless you’ve known him already for a long time (talking years) or know people who know him personally, I’d say take it slow. Especially since psychopaths/narcissists prey on people who don’t mind moving fast.
My husband was divorced in June and we were married in August. He was emotionally ready to move on with me. That’s very rare . We had a good marriage for 10 years until he died.
were you his "just a friend" all while he was in his 1st marriage?
@@AmericanDreamer exactly what I was thinking
“You’re the 1st girl he’s talkin to since divorce..you’re F Ed 😂😂” so true
One of the many he is talking to
Realy..lol
Not always true. My ex is now living with the first girl he dated after our divorce. Some guys are anxious and don’t want to be alone
@@AD-hh6ddyuk. Codependency is not attractive
I say no to that…they are not healed and need a band aid
I like the perfume collection in the background 😊
"If you want casual, you'll be treated casual" ~ not always the case!
Just processing a breakup with a guy who said: "Let's see where this goes" & he started saying & doing things that were out of alignment with the "casual" paradigm (namely, boyfriend things) which made things incredibly confusing throughout our time together.
Later on, he let it slip that he never wanted a relationship to begin with & I've come to the conclusion that he was only doing those things to "hook" me in & get the sex that he wants.
How I wish men would "clear the air" & state exactly what it is they want: friends with benefits, casual or longterm.
If they “cleared the air” .. they wouldn’t get the sex. Do NOT sleep with these men until he’s committed.
You'd think it would be simple. People could just be straightforward with what they want, it would save a lot of time and pain for people. Sadly, many people lack the emotional intelligence for this even though it seems so simple.
Girl next time make sure the dude says yes he’s looking to be serious and it’s with you, make him buy you a ring (not necessarily an engagement ring) or something of value $$ to make him prove to you that that’s what he really wants. No one has time for games in this day n age!!
They’re not ever going to be honest, because that would largely decrease their ability to get consistent sex. I’ve learned that people are only honest when it actually benefits them to be so. So most will continue to lie.
Keep on waiting.. Men will never be clear on they want.. Just look at the actions, how he talks to u, for you to know his intentions
Elliot, I think you are one of the best dating coaches. Your advice breaks things down in a simple and easy to understand way...thank you!
I agree lol Thank you
Ng advices very clear good job
Elliott this is one if your most concise videos . Its the best explanation I ever heard of what happens when a man's behaviour changes. I was literally nodding my head at everyrhing you described. I've just got to the stage of already being able to filter them when i start talking to them.
@sjgbrighton thank you that means a lot
I like men who've been single..they've usually done it intentionally to work on himself.. but then I'm in my 50s
Yep either they're all in or they're not and it goes quick because it feels right and then it transitions into a relationship. If you're with the right guy they're not gonna judge you.
Either a guy likes u or not. Whatever u say or not is not gonna change his mind. I have my fun and keep it moving. Some guys really like me and some don't. Idc
Aren't dating profiles/websites full of time wasters?
Which site do you recommend??
and how do you spot a F boy on those sites?
They ain’t even really straight at all and too risky 🤢
None of them
@@camillawilliams1418 the men on Bumble figured it out... they wait for women to make the first move and they collect the messages for ego boosts, it's for an ego boost for 90% of the men on there. Elliot, can you make a video on this?
at this point I rather just stay single tbh 🙄
You need to listen to this man. Did anyone else hear the latest how Taylor Swift broke up with her boyfriend of 6 years; unbelievable. Let me guess, he didn't want to commit.
There's a guy I wasted 2 mos on. Just talking...for 8 weeks. He didn't plan any outings or even just to have lunch. Says "we're getting to know one another more", but yet didn’t want me talking to anyone else or hanging out with anyone else. He had been divorced for 3 years & had his ex still demanding money from him & talking sh*t to him. But yet, I was expected to cheer him up. It was always, "even if this doesn't work, we can still be friends." I didn't like the control factor without even being with him & needless to say, we couldn't be "friends" after I stopped wanting to "get to know" him more. Smh Don't settle or lower your standards. Oh yeah..and he was living with his son! Not his son living with him. 🤦♀️🙄😑
Had sumthin similar happen recently. If a guy doesnt prgress to calks, meetings etc within a month MAX. Cut your losses gurl this guy is playing games with you n other chicks at the same time. We have so much more value than these useless guys. Keep it moving.. next..next.. 😅🎉
Red flags all over the place. Any tendencies to control is a sign of narcissistic behavior. Not necessarily pathological/personality disorder, but definitely a strong flavor of narcissism. If I can offer my unsolicited advice, I’d say run run run and don’t look back
You dodged a bullet... Congratulations 💃🏾🥂
Why did you talk to him for two months? 🤣
It’s great to see you bringing out more videos, Elliot 😊
I love your passion and honesty Elliott…so refreshing to listen to. Your advice is amazing. Thank you!! 🙏🏻❤️
I am an attractive woman, but I noticed that my wittiness is what wins guys over, even to the point where they enjoy my company and go back and forth with me. I love 😘 a man that can be witty with me...I think I got this from having to always defend myself with all my silly male cousins...which are many.
Same girl :)
Elliot I only match with guys that have "looking for relationships" on their profile as I have the same on mine, I talk about it on the first date to make sure we are on the same page, yet, after a few weeks pass the guy start pulling away and acting busy, I consider that I'm not pushy or too interested or too demanding, but I assume they lie from the go just to get me hooked and once they are a bit bored of me because they realise I'm actually serious and not gonna take bullshit they pull away, and I end up wasting weeks/couple of months on that.. what can I do differently?
Thanks for another great video .It would be interesting if you explain something like'How not to launch a relationship via texting' in your next video
100%! this would be a perfect and valuable topic
What’s really interesting to me is how guys expect us to take their heartbreak seriously (he’s been cheated on so he has a wall up). But a broken heart is never respected when it comes to women, we’re just scorned & bitter. I’ve seen men commenting on many of these TH-cam videos about as resentful & bitter as anyone you’ve seen. It can be really startling seeing the baggage some of these men carry when their egos get bruised.
a woman doesn't have eight weeks to convince a guy of shxt WE ARE THE PRIZE
Thank you this helped a lot .. not gonna stand for any more disrespect
I always enjoy your longer videos!
Ur Hair Looks 🔥😎💫✅
Hi Elliot, am so grateful to you for putting these videos out. I find them very unique and to the point as far as raw truth is concerned. Am trying to catch up on all your videos, too bad i came across your channel very late. Now doing 8 months of NC. Ex was unsure about relationship with me, tried the FWB approch on me, but i didn't give in, set my boundaries and cut off ties with him. He's onto his old triangulated supply. Both of them divorcees and narcs and obsessed with each other.
Sadly, ex did me n his male BFF dirty, by doing his wife. His bff doesn't know abt this till date. Our serious relationship lasted only two months, after building good context with him and his family for more than a year, which the old supply was unable and incapable of doing. We all live very close, so they're benefiting when her hubby works hard and isn't around most of the time. She is very jealous of me and even destroyed her hubby friendship with my ex, and my ex relationship with me by poisoning his mind. After all this, ex still had her back instead of his friend or me. So been through a very horrible and painful breakup so much that it detonated my spirit.
I watch your videos as they give me consulation and guidance that every woman on this earth needs to know. Keep them coming. ❤🙏✌
Thank you very, much. I always Listen to your advice.
😂 Your Funny lol Banter Is 💯 Doesn’t That Go Without Saying
I had ten dates lasting hours at a time . He was fresh divorced on our tenth one . Talked about his 20 years with her . She left him . Tried to discuss the emotions . Was slow moving . Finally he tells me , after slow texting and one sentence replies , he’s not ready for a relationship ( he didn’t say in his profile either ) and he was fighting internally falling in love . I was gutted . I signed up to another dating app and found the same profile on that one . That hurts but the pattern will repeat unless he’s honest .
This was a very good video. I watch a lot of stuff and this was super practical and makes sense.
Thankyou Elliott- You Are Exactly Who I Need To Coach Us Females -
Elliot, I can tell my fellow women are putting grey hairs on your head, having you repeat the same s&^t every other video lol😂
Love you you’re the best dating coach ❤
Best video yet.
Question Elliot… What if you’ve known a guy for a couple of years and he’s chased you the whole time and then you start going out to see if it could become something more. What’s the rule for that? Because we had already been on more than 12 dates and known each other more than eight weeks just as friends. When or how do you approach the relationship conversation?
Elliot said, after 8 weeks and there's no title, more than likely, he's not going to commit. He's wasting your time. Just saw that video...
Elliot you are hilarious
My husband had been sinlge for 10 years before he married me so being single doesnt mean anyrhing.
He is the minority not the mean. Also depends on his circumstances and his age too.
i do have a question, what if you almost get intimate after the first date and you say you would like to take it slow because you don't don't do that unless you're committed and they say they aren't looking to jump into a serious relationship and just want to date without expectations..... like i know its early but that seems like he knew right off the bat?
exactly. he wants casual only
@@dianalereve5402 yeah thats why I told him that i don't get intimate outside of a relationship and that a platonic friendship is all i have to offer to offer. He said that worked and we never spoke again lol
@@NAPA5119 well done. There are men who want a relationship, all the best : )
@@NAPA5119good yar
I guess I see that anything with a recent guy I liked was screwed to begin with. After watching the video, the fact that he had been cheated on and been single for many years, those were two of the big red flags. Then I failed to even talk about what I was looking for before ever even getting together with him, so that's why I got taken advantage of!!
Elliot, I would love to hear your opinions on the reality dating shows. Like the Bachelor, Love is Blind, Married at First Sight, etc. How do you think these experiments work? I’m always so curious and always think it’s crazy they meet and are engaged or married after 20-30 days.
Entertainment is just capitalizing on the marriage/love establishment. It’s exploitation at its finest. I truely don’t take these shows seriously. And if they really do work it than it’s the exception to the rule. Kind of like how some people can get married a month after dating and stay together and in love for 30 years +
Those retarded shows...are you serious?
It's social engineering..
That's a lot to cope with. I'm exhausted. I'm fed up with man.
Love you Elliot ❤
Great content
Ok I have a man that stead relationship in the very first conversation but how can you judge this advice on the timeline of dating based on a man that you can only see pretty much every other week because of custody? Is it just going to take longer for me?
Sometimes you’re so on the money it trips me the fuck out!
Not the F word Elliot 😄
Sometimes only the F word will do! 😂 He gets away with it
I so needed to hear this today! Helps me with a lot of introspection work I have to do .
You are god sent! ❤
WoW! - Xerjoff; Nishane; Armaf Club de nuit... the dude knows his frags! :)
Of course I do haha.
I've got over 400 bottles myself... its crazy! :)) (but I cant stop). Here is another idea for a video - how to stop being a frag head :))
Excellent ❤
Thank you!! ❤
What if I guy refuses to tell you what he wants at all - like won’t give you an answer either way?
I don’t even last 12 dates lol
Then u will get someone better soon❤
Do you provide email coaching?
Do you do live seminars similar to Mathew Hussey?
15:05 personal timestamp
U know what’s crazy ? The ones who’ve been single say after 2-3 after a long term relationship r still hung up on that girl😕 so dudes who’ve been in long term (unmarried) relationships watch out!
I got tired just listening to this😂
Ha so true
What if we are just meeting once a month and it’s been 4 dates in ( august last year , then Jan, Feb , April ) ?
If that’s the pace that you are comfortable with then by all means continue to do so. However if you are wanting more, then you should make a suggestion to to pick up the pace, put the ball in his court and see what he does with that information. If nothing changes, then put a time limit on how much longer you will be willing to wait. ALWAYS be willing to walk away if necessary.
😂 you need to watch all his videos, I think 😂
Is he a f*cking 10?
this guy places responsibility on women, we are tired. He furthers mysoginy by rating women by numbers, and saying men value physical attraction. the bar is so low for men it’s super sad!!