Professor, maybe PHD..nah. I have to admit this stuff is hard but human nature is flawed. Most men know diddly squat about relationships. Women have to know that and be super wise, like a professor. Oh the pain, the pain....
He's so right. My daughter is in college. The stories she's telling me are unbelievable. She is the choosy one, she is the detective. Each guy she runs into fails. She's frustrated. I said better single and on track to a better you, rather than with the wrong guy who drags you down. Yes, its stressful. BUt you have to think of your future.
The same thing happens to me around here... Society is sick and the consequence is that we have to deal with depression, anxiety, stress and loneliness 😢
It’s in the girl’s best interest to wait until he is your official committed boyfriend (or honestly ideally fiancé or husband) to have sex. (In the meantime, you should be multi-dating.) Otherwise you risk becoming the temporary bed placeholder. If he can’t wait, then he’s not honestly really into you anyway and there are better male options out there who would actually commit to you.
Relationships should never be THAT much work.... it's meant to be a relationship.....not child's play.... nobody has time for that. Actually, a healthy relationship just flows and neither party is keeping tabs on who called or texted first. ❤❤❤
True, but unfortunately people do play this game, we don't live in a utopia... and if you're not willing to play the game, you will get trampled on by the dating game and men out there.
A healthy loving relationship takes actual WORK and it’s work that is never done bc it takes a daily effort to love and prioritize another. Not one person’s relationship is ever “easy” and “flows” without putting in “the work”. Facts.
One more thing- I think just having the assumption that it’s a game they’re playing is a risky way of choosing to see things. Power dynamics are REAL & they exist in each and every relationship you’ve ever had and will have in the future- believe it. So to hold this attitude of “if it’s games I don’t want it”- don’t fool yourself so easily. We all tend to play these game however big or small at times in versions ways. There’s tons! But the one key point missed by most is this-- Every time you’re looking at the other person, you’re in the wrong. Look within. Try to stop telling yourself that you want this man who is perfect and ticks all of the countless boxes you’ve put out in front of him, as if to have this firm, unrealistic expectation of who he needs to be for you… LOOK WITHIN. Do you meet all of the rules and expectations that you’ve so confidently placed upon him? I sure hope so! Key point: A relationship is a place where you go to give. NEVER a place you go to take. Instead of focusing on your partner and who he isn’t, or who you expect him to be… BE THAT PERSON FOR HIM. Only then will you avoid game playing and manipulation as you so firmly stand against. (Or rather, firmly project) 😉
Last guy I went on a date with coerced me into buying him lunch, and was looking at his phone for "business reasons" a lot of the time even after I pointed out it was rude. At the end of date he tried kissing me and was expecting sex too. The audacity!!! From moment I paid for his food it was decided he would never see me again.
Do the work, get some self esteem take a break from the nonsense. Hone your intuition skills too. The odds are low though not going to lie and say "oh it will get better"..
@@christinarichie6171 It's getting ridiculous out there. If he's not investing or being intentional, best thing is to leave. I like Elliot but I feel he's making a buck off womens' vulnerabilities. And why isn't he married? How's he going to help us ladies navigate relationships and he's unmarried. In addition, he's not a follower of Christ. He needs prayer so y'all pray for his salvation.
How come some women need to do all this shit and men just get to just be assholes and still be such a prize. And how come so many people seem to pair up and settle down without needing a phd in male manipulation
I guess it depends on where you are in your life. If you are looking for something serious, then you may want to take his advice. He is helping to weed out the ones that don't want a serious relationship. If you're wanting to go with the flow and not concerned about a commitment, then no need to worry about his advice... just be prepared for the consequences.
Tricky to figure the balance out when you started as friends and you already had the habit of doing things for him. Totally different dynamic even if he was the one to initiate the romance from the friendship.
The one thing I don’t understand that keeps coming up is not to compliment him. I get why you wouldn’t want to bake him a pie lmao but compliments are free. I can compliment the mail lady on her shoes when she delivers my mail. I don’t see the “investment” in sharing a compliment. For all he knows I’m complimenting another guy about something the next day. There’s no baking a pie effort etc.
I compliment men and women, too, that is my personality...helpful information is good but you have the right to be your own person and live your own life with your own values...to me it is like when a celebrity gets a nose job...some people do but some people become stars with their own noses, not perfect but they want their own nose because that is their choice
@Sugarlips123 They can be. However, the more time and effort he spends investing in you, the more likely he is to value you as a person and thus not ghost. Make him earn everything!
I have opened myself up to dating four years after my divorce. Somehow kept attracting toxic men not sure whether its just a new trend out there for men to take advantage of young women who are divorced with kids, or perhaps im doing something wrong. Either way I've stopped questioning myself and wont put up wuth dudes like this anymore they're really a waste of time im raising children (always keep my dating life far away from my kids) can't date men who acts like children.
It's most certainly not you especially if you have done the inner work and don't put up with nonsense. It's the degradation of society and most of women will not have a real relationship as we enter into dystopian hell. Which we are nearly in 🤡
I’m a commited girl and do hate play game. I usually respond texts fast and okay with 50/50 because I do love taking care for my partner. And get what I got 😅 a guy that loose interest in me, being taken for granted and he put lower and lower effort in the relationship 😇 after I got attached. It begin with the ‘I feels comfortable around you’. Playing game, or other words ‘keep him chasing’ actually a test what if his words match his actions and train him how to treat a women in a relationship. You might disagree and said that ‘high value man don’t have time to play game’ but let’s be honest. A same man treat different women in different ways. It’s all about value, efforts and we are women are not free 😊 to get so do not blame that relationship is ‘hard’
Elliot, why do we give to much intent in the early stages as if we are trying to win him over, prove ourselves. Whyyyyyy. It literally feels like you are selling your soul.
Women are primed to seek attention and validation. From a young age... Its like a beautiful flower attracting the bees. I do agree, its ridiculous way to go on. Once you are aware of this stop doing it.
I knew this guy , before he was a player and he noticed that I’m good girl , I’m only in bed with boyfriends so in that time he pulled me away and he told me sorry because he didn’t want a relationship . So after 7 years he contacted me again ! And a few days ago we see agh other and he was very nice and we laugh a lot . Then second date was great as well ! And he told me that he wants a relationship ( generally ) and after hours and hours of talking and laughing we get intimate and was very good as well ! . Now he is texting me , but until now he is not planning dates 🥺 what should I do ? Nothing right ?
@@SS-in1ts yeah ! Actually I’m dark no someone else and it’s better !💓 and he wants something serious with me and me too with him ! 🩷 the other guy just waste my time with games 😂
You’re no side chick, you’re the prize. Start accepting it and leave that time waster! Find out what it means to be a queen and attract a serious man!! ❤❤❤
I almost become a side chick. I didn't know he had a girlfriend, but once he told me the truth (after trying to sleep with me), he told me to cut all communication. I'm glad I didn't accept to sleep with him, but I just feel bad for all his lies.
Update: I am no longer the side chick and we are moving in together and he blocked her off everything. I'm a bit concerned he still will think about her but there's nothing I can do about that
@@SR77736 So pick your poison.. a broken heart, being emotionally drained and bat shyt crazy because your chasing a man that ditched you after he got your goods, getting pumped and dumped every other weekend, a guy who uses your body as a living mattress just to jump on, or being a continual dumpster for a man’s bodily fluids. OR….exercise a little self control that is FOR YOUR OWN BENEFIT to at lease have a ring on your finger before you start giving a boyfriend wifey benefits. I don’t need sex that bad, and if your here watching these videos obviously your way isn’t working either.
I have told this man I'm here I'm litterly right here ... I fell in love with his bare minimum even if it's hard to believe ... Because I know his back story ... But I can't force him ... He ghosts and comes back 8 times doing this ... He's like the biggest fish in the bottom of the ocean he will smell the bait but ignore it until he wants it. It's annoying very nonchalant but a sweetheart as well
Wow. Dating continues so hard. Unless… unless I begin viewing the dating of men as one after the other after the other. Hmmm. Caveat: Might I strongly suggest subtitles? Why? Because your info is interesting, however there’s A Lot of it. Thanks.
I usually really like you Elliott maybe you're hungover I don't really know but you're not making sense first you're saying we have to be choosy and not give it up and then you're say the opposite I'm talking about pregnancy in 9 months pregnant and how the mind works it just doesn't make sense to me sorry bro
It's easier doing a PhD and becoming a professor than this stuff
😂😂😂
Professor, maybe PHD..nah. I have to admit this stuff is hard but human nature is flawed. Most men know diddly squat about relationships. Women have to know that and be super wise, like a professor. Oh the pain, the pain....
Facts
😆😆😆I know right?? Lol
😂😂😂
He's so right. My daughter is in college. The stories she's telling me are unbelievable. She is the choosy one, she is the detective. Each guy she runs into fails. She's frustrated. I said better single and on track to a better you, rather than with the wrong guy who drags you down. Yes, its stressful. BUt you have to think of your future.
Good mum. ❤
100% my ex was dragging me down. I haven't succeeded more in life since I left him.
The same thing happens to me around here... Society is sick and the consequence is that we have to deal with depression, anxiety, stress and loneliness 😢
Yep
It’s in the girl’s best interest to wait until he is your official committed boyfriend (or honestly ideally fiancé or husband) to have sex. (In the meantime, you should be multi-dating.) Otherwise you risk becoming the temporary bed placeholder. If he can’t wait, then he’s not honestly really into you anyway and there are better male options out there who would actually commit to you.
I agree. Sex without commitment = heartbreak.
If you're not on his health care plan and if you don't have his last name you shouldn't be having sex with him.
@@kristenmoonriseooh girl
Relationships should never be THAT much work.... it's meant to be a relationship.....not child's play.... nobody has time for that. Actually, a healthy relationship just flows and neither party is keeping tabs on who called or texted first. ❤❤❤
True, but unfortunately people do play this game, we don't live in a utopia... and if you're not willing to play the game, you will get trampled on by the dating game and men out there.
Get out of the fantasy that folks are not competing, it’s crazy.
I don’t want it either. I don’t play.
It’s just not worth it for me.
Thank god.
A healthy loving relationship takes actual WORK and it’s work that is never done bc it takes a daily effort to love and prioritize another. Not one person’s relationship is ever “easy” and “flows” without putting in “the work”.
Facts.
One more thing- I think just having the assumption that it’s a game they’re playing is a risky way of choosing to see things. Power dynamics are REAL & they exist in each and every relationship you’ve ever had and will have in the future- believe it. So to hold this attitude of “if it’s games I don’t want it”- don’t fool yourself so easily. We all tend to play these game however big or small at times in versions ways. There’s tons!
But the one key point missed by most is this--
Every time you’re looking at the other person, you’re in the wrong. Look within.
Try to stop telling yourself that you want this man who is perfect and ticks all of the countless boxes you’ve put out in front of him, as if to have this firm, unrealistic expectation of who he needs to be for you… LOOK WITHIN.
Do you meet all of the rules and expectations that you’ve so confidently placed upon him? I sure hope so!
Key point:
A relationship is a place where you go to give. NEVER a place you go to take.
Instead of focusing on your partner and who he isn’t, or who you expect him to be…
BE THAT PERSON FOR HIM.
Only then will you avoid game playing and manipulation as you so firmly stand against.
(Or rather, firmly project) 😉
One time you just met someone clicked and that was it, now its an obstacle course and you might get half way through it but then fail.
I agree with most except ladies: DON’T be paying on dates. He needs to prove he can be a provider.
I completely agree! I don't believe in the 50/50 thing. If he wants to be with you, it's his job as a man to prove he can provide for you.
A valuable and masculine man is a provider. Men provide for what they want. 👏👏👏
Basic stuff... any woman paying for a man and buying him stuff is an absolute disgrace!
Last guy I went on a date with coerced me into buying him lunch, and was looking at his phone for "business reasons" a lot of the time even after I pointed out it was rude. At the end of date he tried kissing me and was expecting sex too. The audacity!!!
From moment I paid for his food it was decided he would never see me again.
Times have changed with some men acting like princesses. Nooooo...
Do the work, get some self esteem take a break from the nonsense. Hone your intuition skills too. The odds are low though not going to lie and say "oh it will get better"..
@@christinarichie6171 It's getting ridiculous out there. If he's not investing or being intentional, best thing is to leave. I like Elliot but I feel he's making a buck off womens' vulnerabilities. And why isn't he married? How's he going to help us ladies navigate relationships and he's unmarried. In addition, he's not a follower of Christ. He needs prayer so y'all pray for his salvation.
U should have never paid, and left at that point.
@@DinaStrangeI’ve actually excused myself to the bathroom and never came back. 😂
You’re the best! I didn’t have a father to teach me those things, or a mother to show me… you’re saving my life In dating game
How come some women need to do all this shit and men just get to just be assholes and still be such a prize. And how come so many people seem to pair up and settle down without needing a phd in male manipulation
because women devalued themselves by giving sex for free.
You don't know what their relationships are like. Over 50% of relationships end up in breakup.
I feel like I have no idea about men after watching your videos, thank you for your wisdom ❤🙏
I have only paid for a boyfriend if it is his birthday dinner. That’s the only time it is appropriate for a women to pay.🎂
This is crazy .. whatever happened you liked someone and you went with the flow .. now we are analyzing everything
😩
I guess it depends on where you are in your life. If you are looking for something serious, then you may want to take his advice. He is helping to weed out the ones that don't want a serious relationship. If you're wanting to go with the flow and not concerned about a commitment, then no need to worry about his advice... just be prepared for the consequences.
It will be alright.
So sad how dating these days is like a mind game. Why do guys have to be so difficult! We just want to love and care for them. 🤯🤯🤯
Men have always been like this. "Looking for the best deal" the ideal is all the women on the globe.
Bcs they’re crazy 🤪
Elliot you are my favorite relationship coach. You tell it like it is!
I love your hair, and I’m so curious on your cologne collection in the background 😂
Nice hair cut Elliot
He’s obsessed with his hair and that’s why he loved this comment but ignored the rest. Maybe he met an Asian woman
Tricky to figure the balance out when you started as friends and you already had the habit of doing things for him. Totally different dynamic even if he was the one to initiate the romance from the friendship.
I know, I recently started a relationship with a person I have known 13 years and so it's a little different 💕😇
Camera quality is fire
You’re back!
I would not pay on dates. I except to be courted. If that is too much trouble for him I am better off alone.
The one thing I don’t understand that keeps coming up is not to compliment him. I get why you wouldn’t want to bake him a pie lmao but compliments are free. I can compliment the mail lady on her shoes when she delivers my mail. I don’t see the “investment” in sharing a compliment. For all he knows I’m complimenting another guy about something the next day. There’s no baking a pie effort etc.
I compliment men and women, too, that is my personality...helpful information is good but you have the right to be your own person and live your own life with your own values...to me it is like when a celebrity gets a nose job...some people do but some people become stars with their own noses, not perfect but they want their own nose because that is their choice
No way having sex without true emotional bonds from both sides. That means months in is too soon.
Amen!
Exactly!! 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
It doesn’t matter how long you wait. You could wait months and he could still Ghost you. Men are fickle.
@Sugarlips123 They can be. However, the more time and effort he spends investing in you, the more likely he is to value you as a person and thus not ghost. Make him earn everything!
I have opened myself up to dating four years after my divorce. Somehow kept attracting toxic men not sure whether its just a new trend out there for men to take advantage of young women who are divorced with kids, or perhaps im doing something wrong. Either way I've stopped questioning myself and wont put up wuth dudes like this anymore they're really a waste of time im raising children (always keep my dating life far away from my kids) can't date men who acts like children.
I’m on the same boat. Very similar situation ❤
It's most certainly not you especially if you have done the inner work and don't put up with nonsense. It's the degradation of society and most of women will not have a real relationship as we enter into dystopian hell. Which we are nearly in 🤡
He always has to show intent that is so right very true!!!!
I miss your lengthy video..yay!!
Doesnt matter if he is not attracted to you
True but why stay if you know he doesn't? That's the question. Recognize it and leave.
Makes sense
But I'm celibate
I am 41, never date and why I am watching this! 😅
Great video!! Thank you!!!
I’m a commited girl and do hate play game. I usually respond texts fast and okay with 50/50 because I do love taking care for my partner. And get what I got 😅 a guy that loose interest in me, being taken for granted and he put lower and lower effort in the relationship 😇 after I got attached. It begin with the ‘I feels comfortable around you’. Playing game, or other words ‘keep him chasing’ actually a test what if his words match his actions and train him how to treat a women in a relationship. You might disagree and said that ‘high value man don’t have time to play game’ but let’s be honest. A same man treat different women in different ways. It’s all about value, efforts and we are women are not free 😊 to get so do not blame that relationship is ‘hard’
Elliott, Great video as always, greatly appreciated. Is your guide available in a hard copy? I would love to purchase.
I can't follow you to save my life. It's like trying to keep up with the little ball in a pinball machine! 🙃
Girls, just look for a man who doesn't need to chase you. You'll be a lot happier. :)
It is not easy for a full-blooded woman who enjoys sex.
Have sex with different guys, not the one you want😂
Just in time for my situation!
What's her name Elliot🙂 You make less videos these days.
Elliot, why do we give to much intent in the early stages as if we are trying to win him over, prove ourselves. Whyyyyyy. It literally feels like you are selling your soul.
I'm not Elliot but likely because as a child you did not receive unconditional positive regard from your parents.
Women are primed to seek attention and validation. From a young age... Its like a beautiful flower attracting the bees. I do agree, its ridiculous way to go on. Once you are aware of this stop doing it.
Great video and advice.🙏 As always
I knew this guy , before he was a player and he noticed that I’m good girl , I’m only in bed with boyfriends so in that time he pulled me away and he told me sorry because he didn’t want a relationship . So after 7 years he contacted me again ! And a few days ago we see agh other and he was very nice and we laugh a lot . Then second date was great as well ! And he told me that he wants a relationship ( generally ) and after hours and hours of talking and laughing we get intimate and was very good as well ! . Now he is texting me , but until now he is not planning dates 🥺 what should I do ? Nothing right ?
@@sharonqui he’s not able to have a relationship even if he wants one…you’re wasting your time and heart. I’m going through similar.
@@SS-in1ts yeah ! Actually I’m dark no someone else and it’s better !💓 and he wants something serious with me and me too with him ! 🩷 the other guy just waste my time with games 😂
En what about the woman what is typicle woman behaving and what does she needs?
How come you don’t make as many videos anymore?
Thank you. Love you.
I gave him all my power and have become a side chick.
. I'm getting sick of it I'm wasting my time..
Us side chicks need to unite and leave these losers. I totally know how you feel😢
Listen 2 him ;)
You’re no side chick, you’re the prize. Start accepting it and leave that time waster! Find out what it means to be a queen and attract a serious man!! ❤❤❤
I almost become a side chick. I didn't know he had a girlfriend, but once he told me the truth (after trying to sleep with me), he told me to cut all communication. I'm glad I didn't accept to sleep with him, but I just feel bad for all his lies.
Update: I am no longer the side chick and we are moving in together and he blocked her off everything. I'm a bit concerned he still will think about her but there's nothing I can do about that
Do you still go live I used to love it?
That’s why you just wait till your married or at lease halfway there.
True but unfortunately everyone isn't going to do that.
@@SR77736 So pick your poison.. a broken heart, being emotionally drained and bat shyt crazy because your chasing a man that ditched you after he got your goods, getting pumped and dumped every other weekend, a guy who uses your body as a living mattress just to jump on, or being a continual dumpster for a man’s bodily fluids. OR….exercise a little self control that is FOR YOUR OWN BENEFIT to at lease have a ring on your finger before you start giving a boyfriend wifey benefits. I don’t need sex that bad, and if your here watching these videos obviously your way isn’t working either.
You give the best advise ever! You should make your guide into videos and sell them
You right!! 💜🤗
What do you mean when a woman's pregnant she's ostracized by other guys?
He means no guy wants to date a woman that’s pregnant with someone’s else child.
@@bernieoconnell5515 ah
@@bernieoconnell5515How many men will date a pregnant gal is what he meant.
Omg I’m so going to use your line!
“No, I wanna do it as friends, mother fucker.”
This is gold 🤭
What about shy introverted guys?
What if I fell into casual and am now being orbited. How do I transition back to dating if he returns?
Don’t respond. See how far he’s willing to go when your actions show that you don’t want what he’s offering.
Please don't let him return
...ugh...he left...he thinks he can do better...let him....
Don’t worry everything will be alright guys.
We’re not cavemen and cavewomen anymore. We’re a little more sophisticated than that.
Three dates… no kiss! Then evaporates.
I have told this man I'm here I'm litterly right here ... I fell in love with his bare minimum even if it's hard to believe ... Because I know his back story ... But I can't force him ... He ghosts and comes back 8 times doing this ... He's like the biggest fish in the bottom of the ocean he will smell the bait but ignore it until he wants it. It's annoying very nonchalant but a sweetheart as well
That's not a sweetheart. He comes back bc u have no boundries and u allow him to use u. You can do better
@@Virgolove i use him to
Girl run he doesn’t want you 🏃🏾♀️
@@taralo3371 I blocked him he came back twice after this comment I'm done
@@rareroseglosses1554 good for you! They always come back
Men don’t wanna pursue anymore. They want to be the princess in the relationship. The bar is getting so low.
Wow. Dating continues so hard. Unless… unless I begin viewing the dating of men as one after the other after the other. Hmmm.
Caveat: Might I strongly suggest subtitles? Why? Because your info is interesting, however there’s A Lot of it. Thanks.
😂 Your Hilarious
🤍😍
Its too difficult.
I usually really like you Elliott maybe you're hungover I don't really know but you're not making sense first you're saying we have to be choosy and not give it up and then you're say the opposite I'm talking about pregnancy in 9 months pregnant and how the mind works it just doesn't make sense to me sorry bro
Can you marry me Elliott? ❤
Yes
@@ElliotScottDatinglol if only it was that easy