"If I don't like you, you're worthless-" Narcissism was the word I was looking for omg I've been telling telling my friends about this because I realized we often try to make ourselves feel better by saying "Their loss they don't know what they're missing" but autonomy is key. Everyone has the right to walk away from me just as I have the right to deny people access to me
the "their loss" mentality is so tempting after you split with someone who you valued. recently i reached out to a friend who i split from a year ago because she did things that were really questionable. i never got a response, and my gut instinct was to tell myself it's her loss and she's missing out and stuff but to be truthful and let myself be sad about it was a very healing experience.
I've recently changed this mentality within my self and have been more content but I never had a term for it. For me personally, in middle school I was (and still am) quite introverted and it wasn't as easy to genuinely connect with as many people. I convinced myself that the popular kids all had surface-level friendships and I was better than them for being smarter. This mentality became exhausting and I realized that some people just connect more easily with others, it doesn't make me worse from them for having that ability and it doesn't make them any less capable than me either. No one needs to convince themselves others are just worthless or dumb for leaving you in a relationship, I always wondered why that "their loss" encouragement felt so hollow. It attaches ourselves and our worth to others. But it really isn't like that, people are individuals, they may be bitter or angry over losing you or maybe they walked away without a second thought or don't care. Who knows? Why should we assume people are this or that when they behave a certain way, other than just be content with the single fact that you don't know and people are just people.
I hate when I see someone post about how they struggle with self-love or their identity as a black girl and all of the annoying ass girlies will drag them for the trauma that they've experienced. Like why are YOU mad at HER for being sad about her hair or her skin? You should be mad at SOCIETY for making HER feel that way. They feel personally offended.
This is how I first felt about the doja cat “scandal” two years ago. People said doja was insecure her identity and her 4c hair and instead of being understanding or at least upset with the white standards of beauty everyone was dragging her. It was very weird. As if dragging her would’ve made her like being black more.
@@halimaaa4839 Americans usually view every person as self-sufficient individual. Everyone is their own person, not a representative of a family, community, or any other group. It also plays into the whole “anyone can make it no matter what” and the American dream. For example another core value for America would be independence or freedom.
imo individualism is what created such an unempathetic society. Like "I made it" but there's a housing/homelessness issue. This other community is struggling but idc because mine is ok.
"i just want to exist, i dont want to be hurt anymore" is honestly such a mood. im so tired of useless fights, and/or just drama in general, especially when it comes to the internet. i just want to exist in my own little bubble, but so many people are used to just used to dragging people down when they see you're doing better than them because they're insecure.
Exactly. Even in this video game called Fall Guys (have you ever heard of it?) there are a number of people who are able to cross the finish line & complete the race! But, there are people who cannot deal when another person crosses before them, and they grab that person in an attempt to hold them back in order for themselves to pass before them! I'm like-! There are 12 people running for the finish line, 25 people can qualify - There are no lanes like there is in track & field, so SOME people are gonna be in front of you! I find it really petty 💢
What I don’t like is that when you open up about your experience, here comes people quick to either call you a LIAR or BLAME you for your experiences. I will never forget when I spoke up about colorism and a black woman told me if I dressed cute I would get a man. I have a man but colorism doesn’t just affect dating. I was also called a liar for speaking out on being sexually assaulted. I was also told I shouldn’t have invited him over even by my own family. That’s not even the worst of it. Another woman online told me that I “ attract “ negativity in my life and I need to hold myself accountable for attracting the wrong people. Like I asked to be abused by my mom, to deal with fake friends, to experience racism and colorism, and to be sexually assaulted 🙄
People can only speak and give advice from their own experiences... That's why it often falls pretty short on us with very different experiences :). I don't believe they had bad intentions
“Individuality is the only power that you have.” “Just because you don’t like me, doesn’t mean I’m not of value.” Somebody put these on a t-shirt. Immediately.
Yup very much narcissistic. I’ve always hated posts like “I’m such a pure-hearted person, I don’t know why anybody would ever hurt me” “Idk how anybody could ever dislike me, I’m so chill” “If you’ve ever seen me drunk, you’re welcome because I bet your night was boring” or people that constantly think everybody is envious of them or hating on them. The type of people that call others “fans” . Soooo annoying. Literally ended a friendship because of it. She was so full of herself online and offline. Posts like that are also the reason I deactivated social media. ESPECIALLY Twitter. The amount of overly inflated egos and everybody thinking they’re just soooo unique and special that they deserve special treatment from everyone. How narcissistic do you have to be to demand to be put on a pedestal and treated special by anyone who comes across your profile?!? The entitlement was out of control .
I think kids growing up in 2020 until the present are gonna have a hard time bc a lot of their reality was learning online and exposure to social media which honestly does promote some egotistical things
completely agree. my issue is finding community outside the internet. i looked for community within it and i realised how egotistical everyone is which only made me think it was ok when i was too. i deactivated everything too.
@@spinach4616 I'm currently finding one outside too and it's very difficult. I stopped seeking community online for similar reasons, plus people were just more mean and aggressive online for NO REASON
Today, I’ve learned about the concept of hyper reality, where social media intensifies reality to a point where our vision becomes biased and this applies especially to relationships and the concept of love.
@@ymaysernameuay1113 well let’s take couple accounts for exemple. Instagram girlfriends always seems to show how many gifts and flowers her boyfriend gets her and how good he treats her and how often they travel to beautiful places. All of this is beautiful but it contributes to Instagram users comparing their own relationships with her and having unrealistic standards for a relationship because at the end of the day, all the gifts, travels and flowers are absolutely not necessary for a happy healthy relationship
Ima just say something my therapist told me that was really interesting. I was talking something about social media and how I didn't like being on it for this reason and she was like "people forget that our phones are tools. they were designed to specifically help us to communicate with each other, and only become toxic when they replace reality" I was shocked because I had forgot HOW MUCH development has gone into phones and they do it for this exact reason, to replace our reality in order to (not to sound like a paranoid person) kind of mind control us into this different reality. So it is very very important to remember your phone as what it is, and if you can delete or limit your time on social media and tiktok. Now obviously a phone is not some dangerous thing but you have to be mindful.
HEAVY on the let black girls feel insecure, be embarrassing, etc. like when you bring up colorism, you get shamed for being insecure about it like, what the fuck? as though it's a thing of Shame to be insecure about colorism, or insecure in general. That speaks HEAVILY to the narcissism thing you were talking about. shaming people for being insecure, and black girls get it THEE worst. we are vulnerable and sensitive too, we are hurt just like anyone else. and i don't know why the fuck i even feel the need to say that but its sad that you HAVE to! literally allllll the other women of other racial/ethnic backgrounds of the world get to feel insecure, feel vulnerable and sensitive about the things that afflict them as far as how their body looks, nose, how they get treated, how they feel sad and down, etc. but let a black girl say she's insecure about the color of her skin from colorism, or the way black women have been treated in general, and others especially WITHIN the community will ridicule her or act like she's tweaking. YOU ARE NOT TWEAKING! THE SHIT IS F%CKED UP!
It’s because society sees BW women as these strong can go through anything and everything type of women. These SWJs who can save the world. Like we’re just like everyone else and our self esteem is low because of constantly being ridiculed and judge.
@@Kikiissewcute to be fair, i think initially the 'strong' label was carried as a badge of honor by bw. but we have caught on that it is a trap. and that's why there's such resistance to bw dropping that and being authentically human. as long as bw were pretending they could carry the weight of the world ppl - all people - were only to glad to give it to us. once we realized the game and stop playing folks just mad that they have to carry their own shit. LOLOL.
The part about the lack of sympathy is so true. Whenever black women express their dislike for a part of their blackness because of how society demonizes it, they are dragged and not met with sympathy as if dragging someone will make them hate themselves less.
Yup. The MOST invalidatiion I have received, my ENTIRE life, was from black people. Including my own family. I'm not allowed to speak the truth, have feelings, be hurt, be sensitive, or stand up for myself. If I do they are quick to take away my black card, question my blackness, tell me i DONT love myself and shame me. This is why since 6 I have had ZERO love for the black community. I love who I am, I hate who I am associated with. What's even more insane I'm told "black people are not a monolith" yet if I don't say the company line, I'm a sell out and not black. So much for being an individual.
i deleted tiktok for this exact reason. i missed ur thoughts and i’m so glad u have a channel but as usual i completely agree. this generation is is robotic and want everyone to be authentic/politically correct/the same constantly and bb we can’t do that. we are HUMANNN. i’m not saying you can’t critique people who have bigoted ideology but dang let us breathe and be realistic. we are loosing honestly, respect and empathy. Nobody should be treated crazy online mostly for shit you won’t even correct ur friends and family on. Thankfully i have my attention span intact. i can’t watch movies, i don’t know any good ones but i’m perfectly fine watching long ass youtube videos. Even in tiktok, the 3+ videos i would watch all the way. Fuck that app tho
Instagram is worse lol … tiktok you get on that side and you could ignore it, tiktok is annoying but I get that most of people are young there and they don’t know how to have a conversation
everybody has such different morals that we can't agree on anything lmfaooooo and trying to use the internet to decide whats right and wrong... its impossible lol
yas and esp on the topic of celebrities like… anyone with influencing power had to step on other people to get where they are so why pick and choose ppl u think are “good” and then being surprised when something comes out that they aren’t perfect? parasocial relationships even with non-celebs has gotten so bas
@@cocteautwin THIS!! LET'S TALK ABOUT IT!! People idolizing people they don't know and putting them above others like on a GOD LEVEL and then get shocked when they do something horrible or even act or look like a human being
That's why these conversations are not fair to have because it forces people to continually choose between being an individual and having people beside them and good and bad can be cultural, social, religious and sometimes instinctual plus literally sometimes it's warrented dragging people and I think we saw that happen when people dragged lipgloss about something small and she asked them to drag/defend her because her hair and appearance are things she's passionate about like most black women
I get it really!!Some people really lost their own opinions and cannot think by themselves without knowing smb else's thoughts."I thought we cancelled x?" "We doing x now?" Who is we?You don't need verification to like/dislike something!Fr ppl need to remember that they have their own critical thinking and not having popular opinions that aren't vocalised on social media is normal.
I deleted IG for this exact reason. The internet has too much room for negativity and toxicity. We can’t even think for ourselves anymore. We need sunshine, fresh air, water, exercise and peace of mind!!! The internet will not bring you happiness I promise you
I think people gravitate towards cancel culture, and inflicting pain, because they can’t imagine the person who did wrong ever feeling badly/remorseful about the harm they caused… which is just not true. A good amount of regular people ( so not psychopaths or narcissists ) have a conscience, and do mature enough ( eventually ) to feel awful about things they said or did to people. I know people who deeply hurt me in high school and even in college that, literally years later, realized the pain they caused and apologized profusely to me. No canceling needed. And there have been other times where I directly told people how they hurt me, and once they realized the magnitude, they apologized and didn’t do it after. Now… this never happened immediately after lmfaooo but it still eventually happened! The internet has created this weird idea that people can’t feel apologetic and change as a result. Anywayssssss - great video as usual!!!!!
This is very true. I said and did some mean things as a teenager and garnered a lot of hate to the point when people think I'm trying to lie/cover up the personality I have now. They refuse to believe someone can become a better person and feel sorry for their mistakes, mind you these people only knew my name and what I looked like, nothing about me as a person. They weren't even the people I hurt, yet they continued to pour their insecurities on me and say some of the foulest things I've ever had said to me. It's really sad.
@@sardlili8600 I’m not sure if this is a reply to me specifically or a response to the other replies, but I was talking about the berating portion of cancelling. I think not associating with someone that’s hurt you is fine ( it’s one of the many points lip glossssssssss makes that I agree with ), and often for the best, regardless of whether they’ve realized the pain they’ve inflicted. Also, nazis killed people…? I’m not sure if you were being hyperbolic ( I’m on the spectrum so I’m sorry if I’m reading this wrong! ), but it’s pretty well documented that many of them don’t feel guilt or remorse for what they did, and often feel like they were victims of the war. As a result, I don’t think nazis would fall into the category of regular people. Also, the type of abuse and murdering would rule them out of the ‘a lot regular people’ category as well, I think.
@@sardlili8600 What are you talking about? Lmao this has nothing to do with the original comment. At least be specific of what you are actually trying to say because your comment makes no sense. Especially because no one wants to associate with nazis and rightfully so. They are LITERALLY murderers and shameless racists.
ykw i thought something was wrong with me for trying to understand people & try giving them the benefit of the doubt but i realize i'm not. i just have healthy habits when it comes to my relationships. social media has definitely made me feel stupid or inadequate for caring about & respecting people even when i'm not getting that in return, but i realized that's just who i am. i love caring for people. & people's lack of care for me has nothing to do with me. i'll be my natural caring self whether i'm getting that in return or not.
That's not necessarily healthy it's a choice that you're being validated by with a TH-camr the same way people who cancel validate each other. Sometimes people don't learn don't have remorse especially in America so it's a choice and you don't have to make the same one every time it depends on the person like she swid
Not even finished with the video yet but I really love your directness and authenticity. "I don't need to hurt you back. All that matters is that people need to stop hurting me. I want to exist. I don't care about the fight. I don't care about the winning." I felt that so so much
I think another example is whenever a niche outfit or fashion piece becomes popular on the internet and people start saying things like, "I'm so glad this is trending again, now I can wear it!" Like???? Wear what the fuck you want to wear, why does everyone have to be doing something for you to do it??? Mob mentality.
I find this super sad when I see young people saying something similar, like they need someone else to even validate the kinda hobbies they're into. It's super sad cause the whole point of being a kid is curiosity and actually having fun exploring things!
Yesssss will just say as someone who’s been off Facebook, Instagram for 3 years and never used TikTok, but uses TH-cam and Reddit as my main social media, i feel a HUGE gap between me and others in my age group. It’s so weird to feel like you don’t know reality or even seeing how people communicate in similar ways and “aesthetisize” in these trend cycles that you don’t have access to. And I do see how others receive me in a particular way as though I’m an alien and fascinating because I’m not in the know or “trapped” as they feel they are. I totally am though but by a slower form of media. Anyway : Reality and daily experiences (formative and more passive) have moved from the physical world to the symbolic, fabricated and commercialized world. It’s definitely giving matrix…
I can relate to you in a way. When I first deleted my facebook account in 2014 people thought I was crazy. I went back on it for a few months and then permanently deleted in 2015. People asked me "are you ok?" "are you down thats why you deleted it?" and they thought I was absolutely crazy for not being on it and that I was so "weird and antisocial". Well, look at it now! Everyone hates it and I was right about deleting it. I think instagram and tiktok are just as bad. Although I do love tiktok. But trust me, you're not missing out. It's not real life and it's mostly a huuuuuuge waste of time. I'd rather live my real life. I think social media is only fine in small doses, we have to set up a time with an alarm to use it, that would be more mindful and responsible with ourselves.
The trend cycles prove that it's a waste of time, people invest so much money and time to being cool, on trend, in the know etc. only for it all to go away by the next year or so. It's not worth it. I also think it's very desperate to be chasing after trends or trying to fit in a certain aesthetic. It's all a waste of our time in the end because what matters is how we feel in the real world, day to day life and the people around us, all the rest is just a fantasy, a mirage. I think social media can be used for good, for instance I learn quite a few things on tiktok, from cooking, new ideas for recipes, to life hacks to book recommendations, but like I said, it has to be mindful or otherwise it turns into unnecessary consumerism.
@@Beauty_bydeborah thanks for sharing ! I completely relate to people assuming you got off due to mental health issues it’s kind of wild. Especially because I hear that most non influencers don’t post on their main Instagram accounts anymore like how people stopped posting on Facebook, which could be more indicative of the culture of I can contribute to this platform because I look like this, I can afford this kind of lifestyle and look which in turn is super unhealthy for those who can’t participate (most people) if they have to reach a certain standard or use a filter to feel okay about a post… and i guess it becomes an extremely voyeuristic practice and culture. Though I could be wrong about the above :)
@@Beauty_bydeborah yeah but the border between the real world and the one we create together online is nonexistent. I mean there’s a big segment of people that experience life through platforms more than off screen existence. What’s alarming to me is that I feel my life is lived online more than off - and I don’t even have the major social media platforms.. could be a me problem tho but again I suspect it’s a whole generation or two..
People are so vicious and mean spirited online. Especially on tiktok they say and comment anything like you won’t see it and talk crazy abt you in your own comments. As a creator on tiktok ppl feel the need to comment on anything which stems from jealousy a lot of the time
its gotten to the point where im just tired of everything ☠nobody wants to be genuine, the system continues to give us false hope and global warming bouta eat us up in like 2 years its too much i just wanna sit and watch hunter x hunter🏃🏻♀
i had a group of friends who are not even living near me. and we were always dragging each other for fun or to humilliate and make the other person feel powerful. and let me tell u, i'm so GLAD i got out of that toxic enviroment by talking 2 times a week and cutting access to the most toxic ones because i realised i was getting hurt and put down just for their enjoyment and i was also doing that to them. I repeated myself that that is not what a friendship is about, that's not what conversations should be. Friendships should be about trust, sympathy, hobbies. Not dragging, and narcisisstic bevaviour. If u feel like you relate to this in ur group of friends, CUT THEM OFF for your own good and peace ‼️‼️💞
I got into the same situation with a group of classmates from my uni. I don't even know how it started, the entire time we were coming after each other "for funsies" but it became toxic real fast. I still tried not to cross certain boundaries or hurt their feelings but they just didn't care, and one time they actually made fun of me while I was having a panic attack (because of some personal sh*t I was dealing with at the time). To this day, it's still one of the most horrific things I've ever experienced in a social setting, but thankfully that happened at the end of the school year so I didn't have to see them for months, and when we got back I was hella cold and didn't talk to them anymore.
this was my problem too !!! i realized that the ppl i was friends w didn’t bring out the best in me & was centered around dragging / making fun of other ppl . and that’s not what friendship is supposed to be about ! i’m soo glad u said this i really thought i was the only one who had this dilemma
Same. I remember calling the behaviour out at first, being shamed for having my own opinion, and then overtime being slowly convinced overtime that it was okay and the insults where just 'banter' because everyone else seemed to be okay with it. I choose to be solitary, avoiding influence will stop people from tampering with your compass.
People become so apathetic on social media. I feel like those types of environments just bring out the worst in people and its so easy to fall victim to that toxic behavior on online spaces. Like you said in the video you can say anything without little to no repercussions and that gives a lot of incentive to people to be horrible. Also this is kind of a rant but i cant stand how easily people believe things online. Like you can quite literally say anything and as long as its interesting people believe you with little to no thought. Social media breeds a lack of intelligence.
It's so sad how people completely disregard common sense just because they're online. The internet allows us to connect in unprecedented ways, but some people misunderstand it. Yelling at someone through comments is no different from yelling at them in the street. Imagine if you walked by somebody, heard what they were saying and started fighting with them. Like, pls understand that human relations online are still human relations and should still be regulated by some level of common sense. And yk, this is already terrible, but when I think about how many of these agressive people are actually kids lost, hurt and desperate on the internet, I just feel like crying man. The internet is dangerous in a child's developement. I feel like i was lucky to be born when reality (yea remember her) was still the main attraction. The internet was still just for fun. But nowadays kids literally grow up online. It's absolutely terrifying. I'm not saying "internet bad, don't give your kids wifi". What i mean is, as future parents, we should be really REALLY careful. We should learn so that our children don't have to learn the hard way. Idk man. Thank you so much for talking about things.
I’ve never thought about it this way but you’re actually so right. Of course people are more hostile online, as they aren’t faced with the possibility of a physical confrontation, but people forget that they’re still communicating with another human 😭
There's a serious Lack of Compassion, on Planet Earth. All that is coming to an end, as we transition into 4th Density. Wishing you the best. - Soluchi, a 3rd & 4th Density Co-Creator, Wanderer and Messenger of RA. Wishing you all Love and Light, in the Power, Peace, and Glory of the One Infinite Creator. 💚💚💚💚
@@doglover55soccer look into the age of Aquarius, the 4th dimension, and spirituality (preferably non-whitewashed 👀) and you’ll understand this comment 💛
@@cocteautwin it kind of is but not really. These new age spiritualists don’t know anything about Ra or any other Egyptian God. that’s why I said preferably non-whitewashed because they’re the only ones regurgitating hinduism, Buddhism, etc and selling it as “new age”. That doesn’t mean that “new age” spirituality didn’t come from truths from Asian or African spirituality though. So, imma still stick by my advice.
ngl, i'm glad you had the courage to make something of yourself on social media knowing how it can be and how disgusting social media is because in all reality you make a lot of people better people. i watched this and when the video ended i felt more intelligent and overall like a better person. you teach me a lot of lessons and how to not just see things from my perspective and ive honestly just gained a lot of amazing traits from watching you. your opinions mean a lot for real and i thank goddd that there's one person on here that can be as real as you
People get mad at others for living their own life. I've seen too many twitter arguments about things that could easily be resolved, but people want to get mad at others for how they choose to live their life. I see it a lot in relationships discords, and people hate to see what didn't work for them, work for someone else.
I knew a lady who would shame people online needless to say, people started threatening her family members irl. It’s important not to disrespect and shame people you know online. Because it will come back.
You still shouldn't threaten other people's irl lives who had nothing to do with the situation in the first place. You're just as bad as her. Or even worse when people dox you 🫤
I also think idolizing and looking up to people, especially someone you don't personally know is stupid. For example, you can like a tik tok creator because you find them funny or a celebrity that has good songs, but getting attached to them and expecting them to live up to a standard you have for them because you now idolize them is stupid. That's also why people get so depressed when someone they idolize does something horrible or slips up. Like you do not know this random person online because they have this internet persona you admire. It's like creating this relationship in your head with someone that doesn't know you and getting heartbroken that they cheated on you.
Literally! I agree with this but Idk if it could be said for celebrities and influencers for younger audiences because they tend to be easily influenced mentally and emotionally. But our secioty seriously drives on idolization is sick.
I agree I’ve never understood why people love celebrities so much like these people don’t care about you nor know you exist you’re just a number to them. I get liking their content but like being obsessed with them in general is weird.
Honestly and I know people say that separating the art from the artist is bad but I constantly do that because if we cancelled everybody then there would be no art. And I need some sort of art to survive. Like Amazon. I hate Jeff but I need to use Amazon to get my products. I can hate the artist while still benefiting from their art. Now if I can drop the artist, I will. Like how I stopped shopping at SheIn, but if it's unavoidable, then I might either find ANOTHER way to listen to their music (😉😉😉😉) or I'll still unfortunately listen to their stuff but stop going to their concerts as an example
“I’m a survivor, bitch” a word, because we gon find away to get this message across. also learning that sometimes holding up a mirror to people’s face is the best way to gag them and yesss, if you want the real me fr, catch me irl ok, I’m back at the end of the video but omg compassion!! nothing exists in a vacuum; so understanding where someone’s behavior may be coming from instead of immediately dragging them because you don’t agree can be very helpful
Some people need to be dragged and you can understand and drag and choose not to come back and that person has to evolve or continue doing bad things there are no guarantees in this situation that either person will get a desired outcome like the wrong doer changing their ways and someone constantly having compassion. Some people deserve compassion and some don't and that's called discernment but going extreme in either way will get you hurt it's that simple. You absolutely cant give each and everyone grace that's not even realistic
SPOT ON with the lack of respect part!!!! ARGHHH like bro the tone! omg I swear there's a difference between people who want to talk and people who want to accuse. like ??? how do you expect a civil conversation if you're gonna be so rude!
EXACTLY!! People can disagree and have a conversation, some people do not believe in that though. Spark up a conversation do not fucking yell and attack someone🤨
heavily agree with the last part of what you said. talked about this on twitter after seeing some vids on tiktok and youtube. i feel like when black women show any sign of insecurity, usually that stems from years of racism/colorism/fatphobja, some other black women gaslight them and call them insecure. and say it’s a “you problem” or that they’re projecting when they talk about their trauma dealing with oppression. as if getting affected by oppression is a personal problem and only confidence is the solution. and they pretend they don’t care about it. it’s giving “i’m not like the other negroes”
i was cancelled last year. let me tell you i was in a mental hospital THREE TIMES in the past year bc of the anxiety and trauma ot caused. cancel culture is REAL and the PAIN it inflicts is horrible. people really need to take what they say seriously bc i nearly lost my life because of the things people said and the state it put me in.
@@chosenqueen5109 yes. it was over the dumbest thing ever im being serious. the screenshots WERE FAKE and nobody believed me or let me tell my side of the story
ppl don’t understand how much impact their words have on others , even though it’s behind a screen doesn’t mean the other person doesn’t have their own feelings . i’m so sorry that happened to u, i hope ur doing much better now 🤍🤍
as a chubby girl, whenever i say im insecure about my weight it’s always something about me having to accept myself and that im the issue but why am i being bullied for the way i look in the first place? it’s hard to accept the way u are when ur getting comments on ur body
Right it's soo confusing, you have a group of people making u feel guilty for not liking your self and on the other hand you have a group of people making you feel guilty for liking your self
I always notice that coming for people/attacking ppl just draws you away from the situation. And just make you more mad and you both flare up. But exactly, ppl in your real life attack you and you quiet but online like trump quick with the Twitter response. It’s more of case ppl need to lear not everyone worth your reaction/ communication sometimes you have to ignore ppl bc ppl really be attention deficit.
Yea bruh like... I know "we are all connected, we are all one" but realise that we are both also allowed to and actually should mind our own damn business :))))))
What you said about these people’s moms not supporting their dreams killed me lmfao. That’s so true, these people will just hate their lives so much and the way they act online impacts their parental relations so much to the point they drop communication with their relatives, that’s ridiculous. These people will live in such a toxic environment where they never learn to speak their mind and hold people accountable in real life so they will start acting up online and start projecting the hell out of their misery.
It's crazy you just posted this because i decided a few days ago that i was gonna delete my social media apps for the month. it just got to the point where not only was it shortening my attention span and distracting me from real life, but the idiocy that takes place there...my god. and the fact that a lot of it is in the name of being woke??? ridiculous. i've had people try to cancel me because I talked to homophobic people because i wanted to understand them better, and hopefully educate them. and I was the one getting cancelled!! for trying to make actual change! anyways........
Literally 💯 I’ve been restricting the time and energy I spend on social media to improve my attention span too and because it can be very toxic and mentally draining sometimes, I’m also fed up with people stereotyping individuals as “woke” for making the effort to ensure everyone is respected, represented and treated equally 🤦🏽♀️ I also hate how social media makes me forget that I shouldn’t worry or stress about things that are out of my control and that some of the negative experiences I have or seen online are less likely to occur in my personal life.
Social media is terrifying and I think we’re going to have plenty more info on its psychological effects in the coming years. Anyone can get online and curse someone out and even threaten them for disagreeing with them and face absolutely no repercussions. This kind of behavior and consequence (or rather lack of) is socially and morally unacceptable in real life. I am glad you are talking about the narcissism part of it.
i stopped using instagram and twitter as much cus literally all everyone ever did was try and drag other people or stir up unnecessary drama and just attack people for dumb shit, but more than half of them wouldnt do that shit irl. Like yall really need to chill down and check yourselves
The Ed Sharon trend was a perfect example of this. Bc they started hating on him out of nowhere. I asked someone who participated in this why people now don't like Ed Sharon and they could not even tell me the reason. All a sudden everyone say they hate his music but y'all was vibin in 2015???
tbh I feel like this happens bc ppl don't acc stand for anything and don't rlly have any moral compass of their own bc how can u say that u support victims and all that other stuff they say and then go and abuse random ppl online.... its just empty words that they use to control others bc they can't get anything else in their life to go right
I remember talking about a game copying another game but it was like very obvious. And some people replied to me like they are such know-it-all-about games because their ass doesn't touch grass and getting up in my face about how this game actually copied blah blah blah but go off. Like, shut the fuck up HAHA. Then some more people of the same breed came after me acting like they are gonna drag me or smth. Lessoned learned In order to be unbothered, just don't even say anything or even reply back. These people are hiding behind a screen and honestly have no problem being miserable to others. Most of them are getting upset behind a digital screen because they can but in real life no one talks to each other like that unless your an idiot. I learned that what people do and say is ALL ABOUT THEM and their OPINION. But their thoughts is not my own so why should I give a flying shit if you don't like me? Even in real life too. Negative people will always stay negative unless they are willing to change. It's not other people's problems if a person isn't happy. But I think at this point there is no need to constantly be in survival mode and just exist. These hoes can act like their bad but real bad bitches change their mindset and seek for peace not drama.
"cancel culture is not about accountability, it's about inflicting pain" exactly!!! it's people pointing fingers to avoid looking at themselves. it's people inflicting the pain they want to give to themselves to other people. that is not normal. the pain should end. the internet is so full of hurt people hiding behind that idea of "making someone accountable" like how is that your duty. the fact that you want to bring anyone down by itself, is not normal.
Can I ask a question, I’m sorry if this comes of really dumb😭😭. When it comes to things like discrimination or like rlly extreme crimes. Is it bad to speak our against those things like that, do we just allow ppl to be racist, homophobic etc??
@@xxshanxx4290 that stuff is okay but what Lipgloss was saying in their video was the little things like saying a celebrity is hot, which isn't hurting anyone. R@c!sm, h0m0ph0bia, tr@nsph0bia, etc. DOES hurt people
@@xxshanxx4290 whatever will make you feel content and what u know for yourself is the best course of action Whenever u do something think "will this shit make me happier or keep me happy?" (DONT PONDER TOO HARD) and I promise u u aren't stupid for asking a question
I feel like everyone is a little narcissistic, we just don't notice it as well as noticing someone else being a narcissist. but I really do believe trauma is the cherry on top for it, and anyone who believes they are can say that
I don’t know, I think this is dismissive to how real a problem narcissism as a disorder can be for people and the levels it can extend to, like in the case of Trump
@@Rebecca-fo4nn Narceisim isnt a disorder. It's a normal human strait and everyone has it to varrying levels; its a spectrum. It has "evolutionary" benifits for ppl to be a little bit narcissistic. When narcism becoms negative is when it start becoming to high and unbalanced, all the way when it's so high it crosses the line into NDP, which is also a spectrum.
@@JDStar1295 I don’t know how Narcissism related to neurodivergency but I know autism is a broad spectrum that can present itself in similar ways so I get your point. If there’s anything I’ve learned it’s that even professionals are still figuring out how to label conditions like cptsd that can also occur as a result of the combination of childhood trauma and having autism or adhd or both
People throw that word around aimlessly almost and casually. We all have those traits and are on that spectrum. It’s HUMAN! Just because we have those traits does NOT MAKE U Or that individual a narcissist. You aren’t a psychiatrist. But please rephrase your terms. This person has characteristic that are aligned to a personality disorder or carry certain traits that are somewhat toxic or immoral.
Oop!! I was waiting for this one!! Binged watched all your videos last week. I am on such a similar journey to you. I used to love arguing and “clapping back” at people online but eventually I started realizing that was just damaging my mental health and causing more issues in general. Cancel culture is so toxic and it normalizes communicating and giving energy to people that do not care about you and are just projecting their insecurities onto you.
I'm older, in my 30s and I wish I had you to look up to when I was younger, I've barely been learning all this shit too and definitely made a fool of myself online for years. Everyone take notes.
I feel like the word “narcissist” is thrown around a lot nowadays, especially on the internet. Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a serious mental illness that, like every disorder, must be actually diagnosed in order to be certain someone has it. Often times people say the word “narcissist” when they really mean vain, self-absorbed, self-entitled, or something of that sort. I really think we should be more careful with the words we use to avoid confusion.
Narcissism is running rampant...it's not just a disorder it is a personality trait...hence EVERYONE IS NOT Narcissistic....but you know when your dealing with one.
No bc I was just upset with my sister the other day bc she did something to really hurt my feelings. When i specifically let her know what she did to me and how it made me feel she "apologized" and was left feeling guilty the rest of the day. I noticed when we just go back and forth with each other the conversation goes nowhere and nobody wants to take the guilt. Great video!!!
20:33-21:19 “Don’t be holding the victims accountable no more” when you said this it reminded me of the movie freedom writers (which I didn’t finish yet so please excuse me for lack of any context) and how in the movie the students would fight with each other and blame each other for their problems without seeing how they’re all victims of the system that put them in their situation
People only care about their own problem, I’ve met misogynistic but economically left wing men, I’ve met trans people who will never speak up on ableism, black people who don’t care about class issues, I’m done sticking up for others when it’s never reciprocated.
i feel so enlightened everytime i finish watching ur videos, its like i learn a lesson. idk about the rest but these type of opinions matter a lot to me, you’re like one of the realest ppl left here 😭 fr please don’t ever stop making videos like these talking about such topics.
No bc I use to live for cancel culture but it doesn’t give ppl a chance to grow and being constantly reminded of ur past…and cancel culture is very like now down to us bc ur fate is in our hands type ish
“If someone were to take my man” nobody can “take” your partner, if they wanna leave, then they’ll leave. U can’t wreck a home without an invitation into said home
You’re right, I take back my comment where I said that black women shouldn’t be on the internet crying for black men to date them. We shouldn’t drag black women for being sensitive.
I met someone like this! He is so open minded, so patient, empathetic and understanding with people! The first we met he helped me with being more understanding with my friends that I was mad at. I don’t know something about his energy caught me like his energy consumed me in a very positive way I felt so drawn to him it’s like his soul was snatching mine outta my body, lol im very attracted to him
Damn I didn’t realize I was being cut throat till I watched this 😭😭 I thought cutting people off like it’s nothing was detaching.. now I’m not so sure..
Yeah, it's really really bad if you cut someone off with no explanation or no compassion. If someone wronged me, I let them know and try to get an explanation. Then I go based off of that explanation. But yeah, I used to think cutting people off was the way but it's just making people more hyper-individualistic and needlessly lonely
Absolutely loved and enjoyed this video. The mob mentality the internet gives us is not normal and we have to remember that we are all different individuals with our own personal morals codes. We can’t all be the same, want the same things and act/ think the same. We all need to learn what real accountability looks like and just enjoy life for ourselves.
Girl yes, I have a good amount of followers on Instagram and I can be “surrounded” by people but feel so alone. Like straight up I just want to delete it so bad. I’ve met some cool people but I’ve also met some trash people who continue to be fake. Kinda torn between: is this not a good space for me or should I push through it and just try to be authentic? IDK it’s exhausting bruh
I think you should listen to your intuition. What is your intention to being on social media? If it’s for ego, and to receive for self alone, then that leads you to one answer. But if you are on Instagram to receive for the sake of sharing and to help others, to show and share your light within and encourage others to do the same, then that leads you to a totally different answer. The thing I am learning is that it’s not so much about the act in question but, rather, YOUR INTENTION that powers the act. So it goes like this: Desire->Intention->Thought->Action (aka cause)->Result (aka effect). Assess your true intention to assess whether you should keep your current Instagram situation.
@@Listening_2_Still_Small_Voice wow, this was super helpful 🥺 the social media algorithm can absolutely feed your ego in toxic ways. When I step back and say something authentically I get much less engagement, it’s like the algorithm only supports monotony and not individualism. But there are still people who care genuinely and want to hear what I have to say it’s just not the majority of my audience. This got me thinking a lot so thank you so much 💜🙏🏼
@@Listening_2_Still_Small_Voice omg, are you me? lol! I just had the same convo with my brother not too long ago. I deleted social media about 2 years ago and was recently contemplating downloading ig again but I had to take a step back and really evaluate why I thought I needed it again. Your advice is so great and I eventually listened to my intuition by choosing not to redownload it esp since the desire arose from peer pressure, being in college and feeling a bit out of the loop. Great advice!
I’m the dumb person on the other extreme side of the argument. I’m the one who overbore because I thought people don’t mean to hurt and I’d be wrong to take their harshness personally. Now I’m realizing I’m enabling people, some of whom I actually love, to hurt me I knowingly. Dumb dumb dumb. I’m learning to set boundaries now and stand up for myself respectfully.
I had to take a break from tik tok several times as it severely impacted my self esteem and worthiness of myself. seeing people go viral for doing nothing but being attractive can do numbers on the brain, especially if you already coming from a hard place. seeing beautiful faces shoved in your face everyday but not even recognizing your own beauty is so sooo damaging. I’m still working now on my self esteem & try to tell myself individuality is the best thing we have j don’t have to look like everyone else to be beautiful or worthy of living.
When she started talking about holding them accountable part I felt that! I recently did this at work! The boy was talking about my skin instead of me going off like I use to do as a child and cry I just told him straight up. You are a colorist. You trying to put me down because of my skin complexion as if you not black yourself is crazy. You keep talking about “I’m not that dark” I said when you get pulled over by the police you think they give af about what shade of blackness you are? Nobody gives af about that but black people. I literally schooled him so bad he started apologizing to me. Then gone say I know black people people sensitive about they skin because they use too get joked on a lot I said so if you know that’s why try to make me feel bad about my skin? He just kept apologizing. And guess what tho? This boy “liked” me lmfaoooo
"If I don't like you, you're worthless-" Narcissism was the word I was looking for omg I've been telling telling my friends about this because I realized we often try to make ourselves feel better by saying "Their loss they don't know what they're missing" but autonomy is key. Everyone has the right to walk away from me just as I have the right to deny people access to me
Exactly, Well said!
I’ve been saying this for years and thought I was alone
the "their loss" mentality is so tempting after you split with someone who you valued. recently i reached out to a friend who i split from a year ago because she did things that were really questionable. i never got a response, and my gut instinct was to tell myself it's her loss and she's missing out and stuff but to be truthful and let myself be sad about it was a very healing experience.
I've recently changed this mentality within my self and have been more content but I never had a term for it.
For me personally, in middle school I was (and still am) quite introverted and it wasn't as easy to genuinely connect with as many people. I convinced myself that the popular kids all had surface-level friendships and I was better than them for being smarter. This mentality became exhausting and I realized that some people just connect more easily with others, it doesn't make me worse from them for having that ability and it doesn't make them any less capable than me either.
No one needs to convince themselves others are just worthless or dumb for leaving you in a relationship, I always wondered why that "their loss" encouragement felt so hollow. It attaches ourselves and our worth to others. But it really isn't like that, people are individuals, they may be bitter or angry over losing you or maybe they walked away without a second thought or don't care. Who knows? Why should we assume people are this or that when they behave a certain way, other than just be content with the single fact that you don't know and people are just people.
Exactly! I'm so glad i found someone else who thinks this way too!
“realness and authenticity is scary to a lot of people…. but it’s not to me btich” hahaha i loved that part
Me too!
I hate when I see someone post about how they struggle with self-love or their identity as a black girl and all of the annoying ass girlies will drag them for the trauma that they've experienced. Like why are YOU mad at HER for being sad about her hair or her skin? You should be mad at SOCIETY for making HER feel that way. They feel personally offended.
exactly it comes off so aggressive when the girl is struggling and just needs someone to listen
This is how I first felt about the doja cat “scandal” two years ago. People said doja was insecure her identity and her 4c hair and instead of being understanding or at least upset with the white standards of beauty everyone was dragging her. It was very weird. As if dragging her would’ve made her like being black more.
Its the lack of empathy they have for us.
It could be because subconsciously they know they’re apart of it
Facts💯👏🏾
It’s crazy how individualism is an Americanized core value yet NO ONE UNDERSTANDS WHAT IT ACTUALLY SHOWS UP AS
It is so ironic
What does individuality mean in America can you explain pls
@@halimaaa4839 Americans usually view every person as self-sufficient individual. Everyone is their own person, not a representative of a family, community, or any other group. It also plays into the whole “anyone can make it no matter what” and the American dream. For example another core value for America would be independence or freedom.
Sis we need to speak on it fr bc its very much this
imo individualism is what created such an unempathetic society. Like "I made it" but there's a housing/homelessness issue. This other community is struggling but idc because mine is ok.
"i just want to exist, i dont want to be hurt anymore" is honestly such a mood. im so tired of useless fights, and/or just drama in general, especially when it comes to the internet. i just want to exist in my own little bubble, but so many people are used to just used to dragging people down when they see you're doing better than them because they're insecure.
Exactly. Even in this video game called Fall Guys (have you ever heard of it?) there are a number of people who are able to cross the finish line & complete the race! But, there are people who cannot deal when another person crosses before them, and they grab that person in an attempt to hold them back in order for themselves to pass before them!
I'm like-! There are 12 people running for the finish line, 25 people can qualify - There are no lanes like there is in track & field, so SOME people are gonna be in front of you! I find it really petty 💢
Both these comments are 💯💯💯
The problem is people really dgaf who they hurt.
What I don’t like is that when you open up about your experience, here comes people quick to either call you a LIAR or BLAME you for your experiences. I will never forget when I spoke up about colorism and a black woman told me if I dressed cute I would get a man. I have a man but colorism doesn’t just affect dating. I was also called a liar for speaking out on being sexually assaulted. I was also told I shouldn’t have invited him over even by my own family. That’s not even the worst of it. Another woman online told me that I “ attract “ negativity in my life and I need to hold myself accountable for attracting the wrong people. Like I asked to be abused by my mom, to deal with fake friends, to experience racism and colorism, and to be sexually assaulted 🙄
Yup. Same but watch them throw a tantrum when somebody has that same energy w them when they have to go thru tough times. Karma collects
"accountability" has become such a buzzword in the black community and its always used to blame bw
People can only speak and give advice from their own experiences... That's why it often falls pretty short on us with very different experiences :). I don't believe they had bad intentions
@@Jordan-xg4pn seriously???
Yes I can totally relate to all of the isms you talking bout @Pretty Princess Just know our time is here and more to come And your not alone.
“Individuality is the only power that you have.”
“Just because you don’t like me, doesn’t mean I’m not of value.”
Somebody put these on a t-shirt. Immediately.
Tell em!
“Your mom don’t even support your biggest dreams” GAH! 😂😂😂 damnnnn💀👉🏽👈🏽
Yup very much narcissistic. I’ve always hated posts like “I’m such a pure-hearted person, I don’t know why anybody would ever hurt me” “Idk how anybody could ever dislike me, I’m so chill” “If you’ve ever seen me drunk, you’re welcome because I bet your night was boring” or people that constantly think everybody is envious of them or hating on them. The type of people that call others “fans” . Soooo annoying. Literally ended a friendship because of it. She was so full of herself online and offline. Posts like that are also the reason I deactivated social media. ESPECIALLY Twitter. The amount of overly inflated egos and everybody thinking they’re just soooo unique and special that they deserve special treatment from everyone. How narcissistic do you have to be to demand to be put on a pedestal and treated special by anyone who comes across your profile?!? The entitlement was out of control .
I think kids growing up in 2020 until the present are gonna have a hard time bc a lot of their reality was learning online and exposure to social media which honestly does promote some egotistical things
completely agree. my issue is finding community outside the internet. i looked for community within it and i realised how egotistical everyone is which only made me think it was ok when i was too. i deactivated everything too.
@@spinach4616 I'm currently finding one outside too and it's very difficult. I stopped seeking community online for similar reasons, plus people were just more mean and aggressive online for NO REASON
Unfortunately it’s the previous generation to blame, they neglected their kids so much they grew up to look for the attention elsewhere
@@amy-n1q i’m not sure about that
Today, I’ve learned about the concept of hyper reality, where social media intensifies reality to a point where our vision becomes biased and this applies especially to relationships and the concept of love.
i dont get it. how does social media intestify reality?
@@ymaysernameuay1113 well let’s take couple accounts for exemple.
Instagram girlfriends always seems to show how many gifts and flowers her boyfriend gets her and how good he treats her and how often they travel to beautiful places.
All of this is beautiful but it contributes to Instagram users comparing their own relationships with her and having unrealistic standards for a relationship because at the end of the day, all the gifts, travels and flowers are absolutely not necessary for a happy healthy relationship
@@mon4577 i mean yeah she has like 1M views
And manifestation is real. Imagine how many humans pour their energy into hyper reality. Cough cough COVID
Ima just say something my therapist told me that was really interesting. I was talking something about social media and how I didn't like being on it for this reason and she was like "people forget that our phones are tools. they were designed to specifically help us to communicate with each other, and only become toxic when they replace reality" I was shocked because I had forgot HOW MUCH development has gone into phones and they do it for this exact reason, to replace our reality in order to (not to sound like a paranoid person) kind of mind control us into this different reality. So it is very very important to remember your phone as what it is, and if you can delete or limit your time on social media and tiktok. Now obviously a phone is not some dangerous thing but you have to be mindful.
HEAVY on the let black girls feel insecure, be embarrassing, etc. like when you bring up colorism, you get shamed for being insecure about it like, what the fuck? as though it's a thing of Shame to be insecure about colorism, or insecure in general. That speaks HEAVILY to the narcissism thing you were talking about. shaming people for being insecure, and black girls get it THEE worst. we are vulnerable and sensitive too, we are hurt just like anyone else. and i don't know why the fuck i even feel the need to say that but its sad that you HAVE to! literally allllll the other women of other racial/ethnic backgrounds of the world get to feel insecure, feel vulnerable and sensitive about the things that afflict them as far as how their body looks, nose, how they get treated, how they feel sad and down, etc. but let a black girl say she's insecure about the color of her skin from colorism, or the way black women have been treated in general, and others especially WITHIN the community will ridicule her or act like she's tweaking. YOU ARE NOT TWEAKING! THE SHIT IS F%CKED UP!
Facts 💯👏🏾
It’s because society sees BW women as these strong can go through anything and everything type of women. These SWJs who can save the world. Like we’re just like everyone else and our self esteem is low because of constantly being ridiculed and judge.
@@Kikiissewcute Exactly 👏🏾 these stereotypes need to stop because it’s unfair how we’re always represented that way in the media
@@Kikiissewcute to be fair, i think initially the 'strong' label was carried as a badge of honor by bw. but we have caught on that it is a trap. and that's why there's such resistance to bw dropping that and being authentically human. as long as bw were pretending they could carry the weight of the world ppl - all people - were only to glad to give it to us. once we realized the game and stop playing folks just mad that they have to carry their own shit. LOLOL.
What's your opinion on a sexy ass dude with no ig? And very low snap score?
The part about the lack of sympathy is so true. Whenever black women express their dislike for a part of their blackness because of how society demonizes it, they are dragged and not met with sympathy as if dragging someone will make them hate themselves less.
Yup. The MOST invalidatiion I have received, my ENTIRE life, was from black people. Including my own family. I'm not allowed to speak the truth, have feelings, be hurt, be sensitive, or stand up for myself. If I do they are quick to take away my black card, question my blackness, tell me i DONT love myself and shame me. This is why since 6 I have had ZERO love for the black community. I love who I am, I hate who I am associated with. What's even more insane I'm told "black people are not a monolith" yet if I don't say the company line, I'm a sell out and not black. So much for being an individual.
facts!!!!!!
i deleted tiktok for this exact reason. i missed ur thoughts and i’m so glad u have a channel but as usual i completely agree. this generation is is robotic and want everyone to be authentic/politically correct/the same constantly and bb we can’t do that. we are HUMANNN. i’m not saying you can’t critique people who have bigoted ideology but dang let us breathe and be realistic. we are loosing honestly, respect and empathy. Nobody should be treated crazy online mostly for shit you won’t even correct ur friends and family on.
Thankfully i have my attention span intact. i can’t watch movies, i don’t know any good ones but i’m perfectly fine watching long ass youtube videos. Even in tiktok, the 3+ videos i would watch all the way. Fuck that app tho
Right? Like we’re humaaaan beeeeiiing
I really need to get off Tik Tok, my attention span has deteriorated BADLY
Instagram is worse lol … tiktok you get on that side and you could ignore it, tiktok is annoying but I get that most of people are young there and they don’t know how to have a conversation
@@marianne22222 yuppppp, instagram is really bad too. i deleted both.
What's your opinion on a sexy ass dude with no ig? And very low snap score?
everybody has such different morals that we can't agree on anything lmfaooooo and trying to use the internet to decide whats right and wrong... its impossible lol
and i think it's always been like that but the internet just makes it so much more in your face. its like an energy transfer machine
@@illustrious-jaco totally agree.
yas and esp on the topic of celebrities like… anyone with influencing power had to step on other people to get where they are so why pick and choose ppl u think are “good” and then being surprised when something comes out that they aren’t perfect? parasocial relationships even with non-celebs has gotten so bas
@@cocteautwin THIS!! LET'S TALK ABOUT IT!! People idolizing people they don't know and putting them above others like on a GOD LEVEL and then get shocked when they do something horrible or even act or look like a human being
That's why these conversations are not fair to have because it forces people to continually choose between being an individual and having people beside them and good and bad can be cultural, social, religious and sometimes instinctual plus literally sometimes it's warrented dragging people and I think we saw that happen when people dragged lipgloss about something small and she asked them to drag/defend her because her hair and appearance are things she's passionate about like most black women
I get it really!!Some people really lost their own opinions and cannot think by themselves without knowing smb else's thoughts."I thought we cancelled x?" "We doing x now?" Who is we?You don't need verification to like/dislike something!Fr ppl need to remember that they have their own critical thinking and not having popular opinions that aren't vocalised on social media is normal.
FR
This the one
@ちゃんマイメロ omg true . all it takes is one comment to make fun of someone and the rest of these 12 yr old make unoriginal jokes. lmaoo
What's your opinion on a sexy ass dude with no ig? And very low snap score?
I am ashamed to admit that I user to do this and sometimes still do but I am learning that that's not ok
I deleted IG for this exact reason. The internet has too much room for negativity and toxicity. We can’t even think for ourselves anymore. We need sunshine, fresh air, water, exercise and peace of mind!!! The internet will not bring you happiness I promise you
I think people gravitate towards cancel culture, and inflicting pain, because they can’t imagine the person who did wrong ever feeling badly/remorseful about the harm they caused… which is just not true.
A good amount of regular people ( so not psychopaths or narcissists ) have a conscience, and do mature enough ( eventually ) to feel awful about things they said or did to people. I know people who deeply hurt me in high school and even in college that, literally years later, realized the pain they caused and apologized profusely to me. No canceling needed. And there have been other times where I directly told people how they hurt me, and once they realized the magnitude, they apologized and didn’t do it after. Now… this never happened immediately after lmfaooo but it still eventually happened!
The internet has created this weird idea that people can’t feel apologetic and change as a result. Anywayssssss - great video as usual!!!!!
This is very true. I said and did some mean things as a teenager and garnered a lot of hate to the point when people think I'm trying to lie/cover up the personality I have now. They refuse to believe someone can become a better person and feel sorry for their mistakes, mind you these people only knew my name and what I looked like, nothing about me as a person. They weren't even the people I hurt, yet they continued to pour their insecurities on me and say some of the foulest things I've ever had said to me. It's really sad.
Yeaaaah we as a culture aren’t exactly big on forgiveness or the idea that people can change for the better
im sorry but y’all are literally ex nazis and complain that people don’t want to associate with you, this ain’t it lmao
@@sardlili8600 I’m not sure if this is a reply to me specifically or a response to the other replies, but I was talking about the berating portion of cancelling. I think not associating with someone that’s hurt you is fine ( it’s one of the many points lip glossssssssss makes that I agree with ), and often for the best, regardless of whether they’ve realized the pain they’ve inflicted.
Also, nazis killed people…? I’m not sure if you were being hyperbolic ( I’m on the spectrum so I’m sorry if I’m reading this wrong! ), but it’s pretty well documented that many of them don’t feel guilt or remorse for what they did, and often feel like they were victims of the war. As a result, I don’t think nazis would fall into the category of regular people. Also, the type of abuse and murdering would rule them out of the ‘a lot regular people’ category as well, I think.
@@sardlili8600 What are you talking about? Lmao this has nothing to do with the original comment. At least be specific of what you are actually trying to say because your comment makes no sense. Especially because no one wants to associate with nazis and rightfully so. They are LITERALLY murderers and shameless racists.
"if you cannot hold people accountable in your real life, you have no business holding people accountable online" - TALK THAT TALK!
she was a philosopher. i miss her
What happened?😔
@@parisortiz8731she decided to quit social media for her own good
@@parisortiz8731She’s doing school and taking care of herself
ykw i thought something was wrong with me for trying to understand people & try giving them the benefit of the doubt but i realize i'm not. i just have healthy habits when it comes to my relationships. social media has definitely made me feel stupid or inadequate for caring about & respecting people even when i'm not getting that in return, but i realized that's just who i am. i love caring for people. & people's lack of care for me has nothing to do with me. i'll be my natural caring self whether i'm getting that in return or not.
I'm glad you found strength and acceptance in your naturally caring nature. :-)
What's your opinion on a sexy ass dude with no ig? And very low snap score?
That's not necessarily healthy it's a choice that you're being validated by with a TH-camr the same way people who cancel validate each other. Sometimes people don't learn don't have remorse especially in America so it's a choice and you don't have to make the same one every time it depends on the person like she swid
Bye idk why ts got me deadddd like im happy for u fr but 😭😭
But i do seriously find that admirable
Not even finished with the video yet but I really love your directness and authenticity.
"I don't need to hurt you back. All that matters is that people need to stop hurting me. I want to exist. I don't care about the fight. I don't care about the winning." I felt that so so much
I think another example is whenever a niche outfit or fashion piece becomes popular on the internet and people start saying things like, "I'm so glad this is trending again, now I can wear it!" Like???? Wear what the fuck you want to wear, why does everyone have to be doing something for you to do it??? Mob mentality.
What's your opinion on a sexy ass dude with no ig? And very low snap score?
Fr, like stop waiting for someone to validate your interest and likes. Just like what you like!
I find this super sad when I see young people saying something similar, like they need someone else to even validate the kinda hobbies they're into. It's super sad cause the whole point of being a kid is curiosity and actually having fun exploring things!
Yesssss will just say as someone who’s been off Facebook, Instagram for 3 years and never used TikTok, but uses TH-cam and Reddit as my main social media, i feel a HUGE gap between me and others in my age group. It’s so weird to feel like you don’t know reality or even seeing how people communicate in similar ways and “aesthetisize” in these trend cycles that you don’t have access to. And I do see how others receive me in a particular way as though I’m an alien and fascinating because I’m not in the know or “trapped” as they feel they are. I totally am though but by a slower form of media. Anyway : Reality and daily experiences (formative and more passive) have moved from the physical world to the symbolic, fabricated and commercialized world. It’s definitely giving matrix…
I can relate to you in a way. When I first deleted my facebook account in 2014 people thought I was crazy. I went back on it for a few months and then permanently deleted in 2015. People asked me "are you ok?" "are you down thats why you deleted it?" and they thought I was absolutely crazy for not being on it and that I was so "weird and antisocial". Well, look at it now! Everyone hates it and I was right about deleting it. I think instagram and tiktok are just as bad. Although I do love tiktok. But trust me, you're not missing out. It's not real life and it's mostly a huuuuuuge waste of time. I'd rather live my real life. I think social media is only fine in small doses, we have to set up a time with an alarm to use it, that would be more mindful and responsible with ourselves.
The trend cycles prove that it's a waste of time, people invest so much money and time to being cool, on trend, in the know etc. only for it all to go away by the next year or so. It's not worth it. I also think it's very desperate to be chasing after trends or trying to fit in a certain aesthetic. It's all a waste of our time in the end because what matters is how we feel in the real world, day to day life and the people around us, all the rest is just a fantasy, a mirage. I think social media can be used for good, for instance I learn quite a few things on tiktok, from cooking, new ideas for recipes, to life hacks to book recommendations, but like I said, it has to be mindful or otherwise it turns into unnecessary consumerism.
@@Beauty_bydeborah thanks for sharing ! I completely relate to people assuming you got off due to mental health issues it’s kind of wild. Especially because I hear that most non influencers don’t post on their main Instagram accounts anymore like how people stopped posting on Facebook, which could be more indicative of the culture of I can contribute to this platform because I look like this, I can afford this kind of lifestyle and look which in turn is super unhealthy for those who can’t participate (most people) if they have to reach a certain standard or use a filter to feel okay about a post… and i guess it becomes an extremely voyeuristic practice and culture. Though I could be wrong about the above :)
@@Beauty_bydeborah yeah but the border between the real world and the one we create together online is nonexistent. I mean there’s a big segment of people that experience life through platforms more than off screen existence. What’s alarming to me is that I feel my life is lived online more than off - and I don’t even have the major social media platforms.. could be a me problem tho but again I suspect it’s a whole generation or two..
@@ajbd4268 yeah you have to unengage. I’m studying stuff from books, not online, at least a couple hours a day and I read out loud. And take notes.
“ If you don’t like me, I’m still of value sis.” Preach 👏🏽
People are so vicious and mean spirited online. Especially on tiktok they say and comment anything like you won’t see it and talk crazy abt you in your own comments. As a creator on tiktok ppl feel the need to comment on anything which stems from jealousy a lot of the time
its gotten to the point where im just tired of everything ☠nobody wants to be genuine, the system continues to give us false hope and global warming bouta eat us up in like 2 years its too much i just wanna sit and watch hunter x hunter🏃🏻♀
Mood
there’s such a lack of empathy, emotional intelligence omg. it’s so crazy
Me and this girl just alike on so many levels
i had a group of friends who are not even living near me. and we were always dragging each other for fun or to humilliate and make the other person feel powerful. and let me tell u, i'm so GLAD i got out of that toxic enviroment by talking 2 times a week and cutting access to the most toxic ones because i realised i was getting hurt and put down just for their enjoyment and i was also doing that to them. I repeated myself that that is not what a friendship is about, that's not what conversations should be. Friendships should be about trust, sympathy, hobbies. Not dragging, and narcisisstic bevaviour. If u feel like you relate to this in ur group of friends, CUT THEM OFF for your own good and peace ‼️‼️💞
I got into the same situation with a group of classmates from my uni. I don't even know how it started, the entire time we were coming after each other "for funsies" but it became toxic real fast. I still tried not to cross certain boundaries or hurt their feelings but they just didn't care, and one time they actually made fun of me while I was having a panic attack (because of some personal sh*t I was dealing with at the time). To this day, it's still one of the most horrific things I've ever experienced in a social setting, but thankfully that happened at the end of the school year so I didn't have to see them for months, and when we got back I was hella cold and didn't talk to them anymore.
@@eurekamreum5458 period as you should
this was my problem too !!! i realized that the ppl i was friends w didn’t bring out the best in me & was centered around dragging / making fun of other ppl . and that’s not what friendship is supposed to be about ! i’m soo glad u said this i really thought i was the only one who had this dilemma
@@bree.4745 yess i love to hear that sis
Same. I remember calling the behaviour out at first, being shamed for having my own opinion, and then overtime being slowly convinced overtime that it was okay and the insults where just 'banter' because everyone else seemed to be okay with it. I choose to be solitary, avoiding influence will stop people from tampering with your compass.
People become so apathetic on social media. I feel like those types of environments just bring out the worst in people and its so easy to fall victim to that toxic behavior on online spaces. Like you said in the video you can say anything without little to no repercussions and that gives a lot of incentive to people to be horrible.
Also this is kind of a rant but i cant stand how easily people believe things online. Like you can quite literally say anything and as long as its interesting people believe you with little to no thought. Social media breeds a lack of intelligence.
What's your opinion on a sexy ass dude with no ig? And very low snap score?
It's so sad how people completely disregard common sense just because they're online. The internet allows us to connect in unprecedented ways, but some people misunderstand it. Yelling at someone through comments is no different from yelling at them in the street. Imagine if you walked by somebody, heard what they were saying and started fighting with them. Like, pls understand that human relations online are still human relations and should still be regulated by some level of common sense. And yk, this is already terrible, but when I think about how many of these agressive people are actually kids lost, hurt and desperate on the internet, I just feel like crying man. The internet is dangerous in a child's developement. I feel like i was lucky to be born when reality (yea remember her) was still the main attraction. The internet was still just for fun. But nowadays kids literally grow up online. It's absolutely terrifying. I'm not saying "internet bad, don't give your kids wifi". What i mean is, as future parents, we should be really REALLY careful. We should learn so that our children don't have to learn the hard way. Idk man. Thank you so much for talking about things.
I’ve never thought about it this way but you’re actually so right. Of course people are more hostile online, as they aren’t faced with the possibility of a physical confrontation, but people forget that they’re still communicating with another human 😭
What's your opinion on a sexy ass dude with no ig? And very low snap score?
I S P R I N T E D and broke my foot, the table, and my dignity to get here but I made it anyway
There's a serious Lack of Compassion, on Planet Earth. All that is coming to an end, as we transition into 4th Density. Wishing you the best. - Soluchi, a 3rd & 4th Density Co-Creator, Wanderer and Messenger of RA. Wishing you all Love and Light, in the Power, Peace, and Glory of the One Infinite Creator. 💚💚💚💚
what do u mean?
@@doglover55soccer look into the age of Aquarius, the 4th dimension, and spirituality (preferably non-whitewashed 👀) and you’ll understand this comment 💛
@@nayatarot777 idk their comment is giving new age spirituality that’s just been regurgitated for years
@@cocteautwin he’s referencing the law of one / Ra.
@@cocteautwin it kind of is but not really. These new age spiritualists don’t know anything about Ra or any other Egyptian God. that’s why I said preferably non-whitewashed because they’re the only ones regurgitating hinduism, Buddhism, etc and selling it as “new age”. That doesn’t mean that “new age” spirituality didn’t come from truths from Asian or African spirituality though. So, imma still stick by my advice.
ngl, i'm glad you had the courage to make something of yourself on social media knowing how it can be and how disgusting social media is because in all reality you make a lot of people better people. i watched this and when the video ended i felt more intelligent and overall like a better person. you teach me a lot of lessons and how to not just see things from my perspective and ive honestly just gained a lot of amazing traits from watching you. your opinions mean a lot for real and i thank goddd that there's one person on here that can be as real as you
i can honestly say the same of her. i feel so enlightened everytime i finish her videos. and she’s hilarious
What's your opinion on a sexy ass dude with no ig? And very low snap score?
I love your username!!! Team Damon!
agreed! my parents didnt taught me these things and tiktok made me think thats who i am... no bitch im learning how to be a proper person
People get mad at others for living their own life. I've seen too many twitter arguments about things that could easily be resolved, but people want to get mad at others for how they choose to live their life. I see it a lot in relationships discords, and people hate to see what didn't work for them, work for someone else.
"if you don't like me, I'm still of value sis" I'm dead :))))))
I knew a lady who would shame people online needless to say, people started threatening her family members irl. It’s important not to disrespect and shame people you know online. Because it will come back.
You still shouldn't threaten other people's irl lives who had nothing to do with the situation in the first place. You're just as bad as her. Or even worse when people dox you 🫤
Lip Gloss for PRESIDENT damnit!
The internet is a toxic minefield
I also think idolizing and looking up to people, especially someone you don't personally know is stupid. For example, you can like a tik tok creator because you find them funny or a celebrity that has good songs, but getting attached to them and expecting them to live up to a standard you have for them because you now idolize them is stupid.
That's also why people get so depressed when someone they idolize does something horrible or slips up. Like you do not know this random person online because they have this internet persona you admire. It's like creating this relationship in your head with someone that doesn't know you and getting heartbroken that they cheated on you.
THISSSSSSSSSSS NOBODY TALKS ABOUT THISSSSDDD
Literally! I agree with this but Idk if it could be said for celebrities and influencers for younger audiences because they tend to be easily influenced mentally and emotionally. But our secioty seriously drives on idolization is sick.
I agree I’ve never understood why people love celebrities so much like these people don’t care about you nor know you exist you’re just a number to them. I get liking their content but like being obsessed with them in general is weird.
Honestly and I know people say that separating the art from the artist is bad but I constantly do that because if we cancelled everybody then there would be no art. And I need some sort of art to survive. Like Amazon. I hate Jeff but I need to use Amazon to get my products. I can hate the artist while still benefiting from their art. Now if I can drop the artist, I will. Like how I stopped shopping at SheIn, but if it's unavoidable, then I might either find ANOTHER way to listen to their music (😉😉😉😉) or I'll still unfortunately listen to their stuff but stop going to their concerts as an example
Makes me think of KPop stans
“I’m a survivor, bitch” a word, because we gon find away to get this message across. also learning that sometimes holding up a mirror to people’s face is the best way to gag them
and yesss, if you want the real me fr, catch me irl
ok, I’m back at the end of the video but omg compassion!! nothing exists in a vacuum; so understanding where someone’s behavior may be coming from instead of immediately dragging them because you don’t agree can be very helpful
you are so right
What's your opinion on a sexy ass dude with no ig? And very low snap score?
Some people need to be dragged and you can understand and drag and choose not to come back and that person has to evolve or continue doing bad things there are no guarantees in this situation that either person will get a desired outcome like the wrong doer changing their ways and someone constantly having compassion. Some people deserve compassion and some don't and that's called discernment but going extreme in either way will get you hurt it's that simple. You absolutely cant give each and everyone grace that's not even realistic
SPOT ON with the lack of respect part!!!! ARGHHH like bro the tone! omg I swear there's a difference between people who want to talk and people who want to accuse. like ??? how do you expect a civil conversation if you're gonna be so rude!
EXACTLY!! People can disagree and have a conversation, some people do not believe in that though. Spark up a conversation do not fucking yell and attack someone🤨
girl sometimes i feel dragged so hard by you even though you’re not talking abt me
heavily agree with the last part of what you said. talked about this on twitter after seeing some vids on tiktok and youtube. i feel like when black women show any sign of insecurity, usually that stems from years of racism/colorism/fatphobja, some other black women gaslight them and call them insecure. and say it’s a “you problem” or that they’re projecting when they talk about their trauma dealing with oppression. as if getting affected by oppression is a personal problem and only confidence is the solution. and they pretend they don’t care about it. it’s giving “i’m not like the other negroes”
i was cancelled last year. let me tell you i was in a mental hospital THREE TIMES in the past year bc of the anxiety and trauma ot caused. cancel culture is REAL and the PAIN it inflicts is horrible. people really need to take what they say seriously bc i nearly lost my life because of the things people said and the state it put me in.
Do you feel like you didn't do anything wrong? Hope you're doing better now
@@chosenqueen5109 yes. it was over the dumbest thing ever im being serious. the screenshots WERE FAKE and nobody believed me or let me tell my side of the story
@@Tigerheiress omg that's horrible 💔
@@ms.x1669 it honestly…. is
ppl don’t understand how much impact their words have on others , even though it’s behind a screen doesn’t mean the other person doesn’t have their own feelings . i’m so sorry that happened to u, i hope ur doing much better now 🤍🤍
as a chubby girl, whenever i say im insecure about my weight it’s always something about me having to accept myself and that im the issue but why am i being bullied for the way i look in the first place? it’s hard to accept the way u are when ur getting comments on ur body
What's your opinion on a sexy ass dude with no ig? And very low snap score?
Right it's soo confusing, you have a group of people making u feel guilty for not liking your self and on the other hand you have a group of people making you feel guilty for liking your self
exactly... fukk "accepting the ugly" how about we stop calling people ugly for their natural state
The algorithms really make us think our world view is what everyone else sees. U always speak so much truth thank you
I always notice that coming for people/attacking ppl just draws you away from the situation. And just make you more mad and you both flare up. But exactly, ppl in your real life attack you and you quiet but online like trump quick with the Twitter response. It’s more of case ppl need to lear not everyone worth your reaction/ communication sometimes you have to ignore ppl bc ppl really be attention deficit.
Yea bruh like... I know "we are all connected, we are all one" but realise that we are both also allowed to and actually should mind our own damn business :))))))
What you said about these people’s moms not supporting their dreams killed me lmfao. That’s so true, these people will just hate their lives so much and the way they act online impacts their parental relations so much to the point they drop communication with their relatives, that’s ridiculous. These people will live in such a toxic environment where they never learn to speak their mind and hold people accountable in real life so they will start acting up online and start projecting the hell out of their misery.
It's crazy you just posted this because i decided a few days ago that i was gonna delete my social media apps for the month. it just got to the point where not only was it shortening my attention span and distracting me from real life, but the idiocy that takes place there...my god. and the fact that a lot of it is in the name of being woke??? ridiculous. i've had people try to cancel me because I talked to homophobic people because i wanted to understand them better, and hopefully educate them. and I was the one getting cancelled!! for trying to make actual change! anyways........
Literally 💯 I’ve been restricting the time and energy I spend on social media to improve my attention span too and because it can be very toxic and mentally draining sometimes, I’m also fed up with people stereotyping individuals as “woke” for making the effort to ensure everyone is respected, represented and treated equally 🤦🏽♀️ I also hate how social media makes me forget that I shouldn’t worry or stress about things that are out of my control and that some of the negative experiences I have or seen online are less likely to occur in my personal life.
you can't change bigoted people... the change has to come from themselves
@@nolalala7444 Yeah at times it’s a waste trying to change their views and knock sense into them
What's your opinion on a sexy ass dude with no ig? And very low snap score?
Social media is terrifying and I think we’re going to have plenty more info on its psychological effects in the coming years. Anyone can get online and curse someone out and even threaten them for disagreeing with them and face absolutely no repercussions. This kind of behavior and consequence (or rather lack of) is socially and morally unacceptable in real life. I am glad you are talking about the narcissism part of it.
6:07 is my favorite thing on TH-cam, many people need to hear it (myself included lmao)
i stopped using instagram and twitter as much cus literally all everyone ever did was try and drag other people or stir up unnecessary drama and just attack people for dumb shit, but more than half of them wouldnt do that shit irl. Like yall really need to chill down and check yourselves
Her communication is A1
I miss her real bad
when you get humbled you really do get humbled... hearing this is golddddd
The Ed Sharon trend was a perfect example of this. Bc they started hating on him out of nowhere. I asked someone who participated in this why people now don't like Ed Sharon and they could not even tell me the reason. All a sudden everyone say they hate his music but y'all was vibin in 2015???
This video was needed. So many bots and haters picking fights under almost every video on TH-cam. 😩
tbh I feel like this happens bc ppl don't acc stand for anything and don't rlly have any moral compass of their own bc how can u say that u support victims and all that other stuff they say and then go and abuse random ppl online.... its just empty words that they use to control others bc they can't get anything else in their life to go right
You are literally my therapist at this point
I remember talking about a game copying another game but it was like very obvious. And some people replied to me like they are such know-it-all-about games because their ass doesn't touch grass and getting up in my face about how this game actually copied blah blah blah but go off. Like, shut the fuck up HAHA. Then some more people of the same breed came after me acting like they are gonna drag me or smth. Lessoned learned In order to be unbothered, just don't even say anything or even reply back. These people are hiding behind a screen and honestly have no problem being miserable to others. Most of them are getting upset behind a digital screen because they can but in real life no one talks to each other like that unless your an idiot. I learned that what people do and say is ALL ABOUT THEM and their OPINION. But their thoughts is not my own so why should I give a flying shit if you don't like me? Even in real life too. Negative people will always stay negative unless they are willing to change. It's not other people's problems if a person isn't happy. But I think at this point there is no need to constantly be in survival mode and just exist. These hoes can act like their bad but real bad bitches change their mindset and seek for peace not drama.
"cancel culture is not about accountability, it's about inflicting pain" exactly!!! it's people pointing fingers to avoid looking at themselves. it's people inflicting the pain they want to give to themselves to other people. that is not normal. the pain should end. the internet is so full of hurt people hiding behind that idea of "making someone accountable" like how is that your duty. the fact that you want to bring anyone down by itself, is not normal.
Can I ask a question, I’m sorry if this comes of really dumb😭😭. When it comes to things like discrimination or like rlly extreme crimes. Is it bad to speak our against those things like that, do we just allow ppl to be racist, homophobic etc??
@@xxshanxx4290 that stuff is okay but what Lipgloss was saying in their video was the little things like saying a celebrity is hot, which isn't hurting anyone. R@c!sm, h0m0ph0bia, tr@nsph0bia, etc. DOES hurt people
@@xxshanxx4290 do whatever the hell makes u feel PEACE
@@xxshanxx4290 whatever will make you feel content and what u know for yourself is the best course of action
Whenever u do something think "will this shit make me happier or keep me happy?" (DONT PONDER TOO HARD) and I promise u u aren't stupid for asking a question
@@farifatid2366 this makes a lot of sense, thanks for answering❤️
this is honestly the most important video on the internet
I feel like everyone is a little narcissistic, we just don't notice it as well as noticing someone else being a narcissist. but I really do believe trauma is the cherry on top for it, and anyone who believes they are can say that
I don’t know, I think this is dismissive to how real a problem narcissism as a disorder can be for people and the levels it can extend to, like in the case of Trump
@@Rebecca-fo4nn Narceisim isnt a disorder. It's a normal human strait and everyone has it to varrying levels; its a spectrum. It has "evolutionary" benifits for ppl to be a little bit narcissistic. When narcism becoms negative is when it start becoming to high and unbalanced, all the way when it's so high it crosses the line into NDP, which is also a spectrum.
@@JDStar1295 I don’t know how Narcissism related to neurodivergency but I know autism is a broad spectrum that can present itself in similar ways so I get your point. If there’s anything I’ve learned it’s that even professionals are still figuring out how to label conditions like cptsd that can also occur as a result of the combination of childhood trauma and having autism or adhd or both
People throw that word around aimlessly almost and casually. We all have those traits and are on that spectrum. It’s HUMAN! Just because we have those traits does NOT MAKE U Or that individual a narcissist. You aren’t a psychiatrist. But please rephrase your terms. This person has characteristic that are aligned to a personality disorder or carry certain traits that are somewhat toxic or immoral.
Also black girls deserve to be assertive without being called ghetto and problematic.
Stawp bc I had to stop this video multiple times to be like “YES THIS IS WHAT IM TALKING AB LIKE BLAH BLAH BLAH” to nobody
“1922 opinions” 💀💀💀 damnnn I didn’t know you were a comediannnn 😂😂
Oop!! I was waiting for this one!! Binged watched all your videos last week. I am on such a similar journey to you. I used to love arguing and “clapping back” at people online but eventually I started realizing that was just damaging my mental health and causing more issues in general. Cancel culture is so toxic and it normalizes communicating and giving energy to people that do not care about you and are just projecting their insecurities onto you.
I'm older, in my 30s and I wish I had you to look up to when I was younger, I've barely been learning all this shit too and definitely made a fool of myself online for years. Everyone take notes.
What's your opinion on a sexy ass dude with no ig? And very low snap score?
I feel like the word “narcissist” is thrown around a lot nowadays, especially on the internet. Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a serious mental illness that, like every disorder, must be actually diagnosed in order to be certain someone has it. Often times people say the word “narcissist” when they really mean vain, self-absorbed, self-entitled, or something of that sort. I really think we should be more careful with the words we use to avoid confusion.
Narcissism is running rampant...it's not just a disorder it is a personality trait...hence EVERYONE IS NOT Narcissistic....but you know when your dealing with one.
i dont agree with everything she says but she be making some good ass points
No bc I was just upset with my sister the other day bc she did something to really hurt my feelings. When i specifically let her know what she did to me and how it made me feel she "apologized" and was left feeling guilty the rest of the day. I noticed when we just go back and forth with each other the conversation goes nowhere and nobody wants to take the guilt. Great video!!!
What's your opinion on a sexy ass dude with no ig? And very low snap score?
I relate to that you just have to know who is emotionally available/ open to talk to
20:33-21:19 “Don’t be holding the victims accountable no more” when you said this it reminded me of the movie freedom writers (which I didn’t finish yet so please excuse me for lack of any context) and how in the movie the students would fight with each other and blame each other for their problems without seeing how they’re all victims of the system that put them in their situation
People only care about their own problem, I’ve met misogynistic but economically left wing men, I’ve met trans people who will never speak up on ableism, black people who don’t care about class issues, I’m done sticking up for others when it’s never reciprocated.
Your channel is soo healing , especially as a dark skin girl
Every person on the internet needs to see this video
you’re such an intelligent girl. i’ve learned sm from you and your videos. keep up the authenticity love 🫶🏽
I've never been articulate. You put everything I feel into words perfectly and I love you so much for it.
i feel so enlightened everytime i finish watching ur videos, its like i learn a lesson. idk about the rest but these type of opinions matter a lot to me, you’re like one of the realest ppl left here 😭 fr please don’t ever stop making videos like these talking about such topics.
No bc I use to live for cancel culture but it doesn’t give ppl a chance to grow and being constantly reminded of ur past…and cancel culture is very like now down to us bc ur fate is in our hands type ish
i love how you speak critically of the way you used to think and how that has changed for the better
I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS SO MUCH YOUR SO SMART AND PRETTY
“If someone were to take my man” nobody can “take” your partner, if they wanna leave, then they’ll leave. U can’t wreck a home without an invitation into said home
You’re right, I take back my comment where I said that black women shouldn’t be on the internet crying for black men to date them. We shouldn’t drag black women for being sensitive.
when i tell you i been rewatching all of your vids until you posted something new
“If you cannot hold people accountable in your real life, you have no business trying to hold people accountable online.” 💯
I met someone like this! He is so open minded, so patient, empathetic and understanding with people! The first we met he helped me with being more understanding with my friends that I was mad at. I don’t know something about his energy caught me like his energy consumed me in a very positive way I felt so drawn to him it’s like his soul was snatching mine outta my body, lol im very attracted to him
I wish I had more friends like you, I love having these conversations
Damn I didn’t realize I was being cut throat till I watched this 😭😭 I thought cutting people off like it’s nothing was detaching.. now I’m not so sure..
Yeah, it's really really bad if you cut someone off with no explanation or no compassion. If someone wronged me, I let them know and try to get an explanation. Then I go based off of that explanation. But yeah, I used to think cutting people off was the way but it's just making people more hyper-individualistic and needlessly lonely
Question is : Why do you want to drag the girl when your man is at fault
That opens up a whole new can of worms😂
Absolutely loved and enjoyed this video. The mob mentality the internet gives us is not normal and we have to remember that we are all different individuals with our own personal morals codes. We can’t all be the same, want the same things and act/ think the same. We all need to learn what real accountability looks like and just enjoy life for ourselves.
I needed this because I think I’m narssistic-
Lmao. At least you’re aware and trying to better yourself :)
Girl yes, I have a good amount of followers on Instagram and I can be “surrounded” by people but feel so alone. Like straight up I just want to delete it so bad. I’ve met some cool people but I’ve also met some trash people who continue to be fake. Kinda torn between: is this not a good space for me or should I push through it and just try to be authentic? IDK it’s exhausting bruh
I think you should listen to your intuition. What is your intention to being on social media? If it’s for ego, and to receive for self alone, then that leads you to one answer. But if you are on Instagram to receive for the sake of sharing and to help others, to show and share your light within and encourage others to do the same, then that leads you to a totally different answer.
The thing I am learning is that it’s not so much about the act in question but, rather, YOUR INTENTION that powers the act. So it goes like this: Desire->Intention->Thought->Action (aka cause)->Result (aka effect). Assess your true intention to assess whether you should keep your current Instagram situation.
@@Listening_2_Still_Small_Voice wow, this was super helpful 🥺 the social media algorithm can absolutely feed your ego in toxic ways. When I step back and say something authentically I get much less engagement, it’s like the algorithm only supports monotony and not individualism. But there are still people who care genuinely and want to hear what I have to say it’s just not the majority of my audience. This got me thinking a lot so thank you so much 💜🙏🏼
@@Listening_2_Still_Small_Voice omg, are you me? lol! I just had the same convo with my brother not too long ago. I deleted social media about 2 years ago and was recently contemplating downloading ig again but I had to take a step back and really evaluate why I thought I needed it again. Your advice is so great and I eventually listened to my intuition by choosing not to redownload it esp since the desire arose from peer pressure, being in college and feeling a bit out of the loop. Great advice!
@@Listening_2_Still_Small_Voice love this!!
What's your opinion on a sexy ass dude with no ig? And very low snap score?
6:26 LSNHA “your mom doesn’t even support your biggest dreams”
This video motivated me to confront my sister about something bothering me lol 😂
I’m the dumb person on the other extreme side of the argument. I’m the one who overbore because I thought people don’t mean to hurt and I’d be wrong to take their harshness personally. Now I’m realizing I’m enabling people, some of whom I actually love, to hurt me I knowingly. Dumb dumb dumb. I’m learning to set boundaries now and stand up for myself respectfully.
I had to take a break from tik tok several times as it severely impacted my self esteem and worthiness of myself. seeing people go viral for doing nothing but being attractive can do numbers on the brain, especially if you already coming from a hard place. seeing beautiful faces shoved in your face everyday but not even recognizing your own beauty is so sooo damaging. I’m still working now on my self esteem & try to tell myself individuality is the best thing we have j don’t have to look like everyone else to be beautiful or worthy of living.
When she started talking about holding them accountable part I felt that! I recently did this at work! The boy was talking about my skin instead of me going off like I use to do as a child and cry I just told him straight up. You are a colorist. You trying to put me down because of my skin complexion as if you not black yourself is crazy. You keep talking about “I’m not that dark” I said when you get pulled over by the police you think they give af about what shade of blackness you are? Nobody gives af about that but black people. I literally schooled him so bad he started apologizing to me. Then gone say I know black people people sensitive about they skin because they use too get joked on a lot I said so if you know that’s why try to make me feel bad about my skin? He just kept apologizing. And guess what tho? This boy “liked” me lmfaoooo