Loneliness on social media.
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 ก.ค. 2024
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Bonjour !
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SOURCES/RESSOURCES 📚
David Riesman, The Lonely Crowd, David Riesman, 1950.
Legacy Russell, Glitch Feminism, Verso Books, 2020.
Tanzim Pardiwalla, Lo-Fi Music Is Creating the Warmest Communities Of Support On the Internet, Mashable India : in.mashable.com/culture/2883/...
Other secondary sources are cited throughout the video :)
MUSIC 🎶
Singto Conley - Leave Me Be - thmatc.co/?l=39A90C25
TIME STAMPS:
00:00 : Intro
00:44 : Sponsored segment
02:23 : Living alone vlogs
05:32: Emma Chamberlain
11:20 : LoFi community + reflections
SOCIALS 👩💻
Storygraph: @alicecappelle
Instagram: / alicecappelle_
Enquiries: alice.cappelleyt@gmail.com
I think the other side of the "living alone vlogs" is how financially inaccessible it is to afford to live alone. Many of the vloggers in the US who create these videos rent one bedroom apartments in cities like NYC and LA that are incredibly expensive, when most young people can afford only to live with roommates or with their families. In those situations, it is a fantasy to have a space that is completely your own, and it's easier to place living alone on a pedestal compared to being lonely but surrounded by people.
i wonder how so many people can afford living alone in big cities. everything is so expensive, and apartments costs nearly the same for a 1 bedroom as a 2-3 bedroom
Same thing in London. I am tired of seeing influencers who talk about living alone in the center of London and picking up coffee and meals every day. London is expensive even with a good salary especially for that kind of lifestyle
This is so true and something I’ve been thinking about a lot
@@cocteautwin Hence why we move down south lol
@@MissieK this remote working feels likeca sales illusion excuse my cynicism maybe age
comparing emma chamberlain with holden caulfield is such big brain energy,,, honestly love the unique perspectives you present in your videos. thank you
!!!!!!
literally!! i remember being a freshman in high school and reading this book in class. i adored it, just completely adored it and others hated Holden. now they're watching emma chamberlain, maybe they should re-read the Catcher in the Rye.
She has nothing in common with Holden
She’s just a dumb TH-camr with loads of attention
how she can always come up with the most genius unexpected correlations between things i don’t know
Wow, this is such an interesting topic. As a single 22 year old studying abroad during the pandemic, i have never felt more alone in my life. Now things are getting back to normal, but its getting harder and harder to socialize and get out of my comfort zone again, so the internet has become my own little 'magic mirror' showing me what people have been up to and whats going on in the world, while im still laying in bed...
Oooooooooooooooo das mit den anderen 0p
Where are you studying? I am in the same situation, currently in Australia and it has been rough to adjust
I never thought of the internet as a magic mirror but that’s a really insightful comparison.
damn that's literally me, yikes :(
I feel you :/
I'm more of an introvert myself but I think the way social media is romanticising being alone / lonely, not having friends etc is just covering how individualistic western societies have become. Social life, friendships and being part of a community are actually some of the best predictors for life expectancy. Moreover, there are moments in life where being part of a social circle is essential, for example for newborns and toddlers, and for elderly people. I want to see multigenerational homes romanticised ! Anyways, a great topic again, thank Alice. Continue comme ça :)
Yes spot on. Too bad because of the pandemic my niece and nephew have some real problems with socialization, that will likely continue for there entire lives.
I've noted a similar trend as well.
Now, mistake not: I enjoy solitude (in fact, I find that a personal strength).
At the same time, however, socialization is important for our wellbeing - physical, mental, intellectual, moral, and spiritual wellbeing.
And I desire both.
It seems that we respond to loneliness in these ways, from my personal observation:
1) "Humanity is cancer" trope. Assume that all humans are [insert pejorative adjective here].
2) Live with the loneliness and have it cripple us.
3) (Verb) the feeling of loneliness - Drink it, shop it, work it away, casual-sex it away, Netflix it away, video-game it away, etc.
4) Trash the idea of not just romantic partnership but also platonic partnership as well.
I don't think 1-4 are good options, to be frank. And I think it's not just going to impact us socially, but individually as well.
@@a.p.mcintosh12 Let's hang out AP
Multi generational homes? Hell nah. Believe me, I'm from East, there's literally no privacy and it's hell.
@@Dehangus I'd be down.
as an introvert but someone who gets bitterly lonely, i find myself gravitating towards this type of content. it makes me feel less alone, but the average persons loneliness (like me) is nothing like the way these videos portray, unless there’s a video where a person cries into her unwashed sheets after telling her mom that she has no friends…just me?
I've been lonely for a while despite having friends, most of them have their life and their own problems, soooo... Yeah, even with online friends or friends irl, you can end up lonely.
Why don't people want to be friends with you?
@@Dehangus i do have friends !! i suffer with anxiety so it makes me feel like i don’t have any friends at times even though i do, i have difficulty perceiving things as they are :(
@@cricketiiella Ah ok, definitely understandable. And just another example of people being surrounded by others and still feeling lonely.
Omg same, i only have one close friend but they are busy with their own life, i don't want to bother tjem too much and can only cry :(
as soon as cold-approaching people fell out of the norm, our society only has gone downhill. and it never will become the norm again.
all open and public spaces are getting bought off by companies and brands, you almost literally can't sit anywhere in a big city on a crowded spot without having to buy or order something.
we need more room for unintended social interactions!
Which law makes it illegal to speak with strangers ?
@@conversationcorner1837 Anti-loitering
which country are you from, out of interest? I see the tendency of privatizing/commodifying public spaces too, but I still see public parks with benches, libraries with workspaces, free museums etc in my area (Germany). And I wonder if even if it is a global phenomenon, it might be happening differently in every country?
@@sophieserendipity4164 America
@@sophieserendipity4164 im from germany too tho, youre right there are still places but the trend is definitely negative!
We need to invest in more public spaces to interact and without it being seen as "creepy" to approach new people.
Edit: Also i saw a comment on advocating for multigenerational homes. Multigenerational homes are NOT the answer. Usually, they turn out to be toxic with no privacy and over burdening. Young people and young couples need thier own privacy and independence from thier parents. Western individualism isn't bad, Western countries who are individualistic are most happy in the world compared to collectivist eastern countries. When you've collective identity over your own individual identity, it's not that really good. What we are missing right now is public spaces to interact with people because of capitalism. We need more public spaces and COOL activities to interact with new people and be more communal. Also we cannot deny the toxic effect social media had on us and our perception. This new lonely epidemic started out at late 2000s when social media became kinda mainstream. I've personally lived through and without social media. In 2019, internet was banned in my state/country for a whole year and I remember people actually became more social, people were up to late at parks, old people jogging in parks, young kids in more public places, teens hanging out and it was all communal. It was no longer seen as "wierd" to approach new people. But after restoration of Internet in late 2019 (November), everything became what it was before, everyone became preoccupied to themselves. It was really like an amazing fair in 2019 tbh. So yes we'd have to look at both issues and try to solve them instead blame "individualism".
We already have plenty of spaces to do that. People are just to awkward or creeped out to actually talk to somebody like that. I've had plenty of conversations with random people I've seen walking around with cameras. I love photography and want to make a career put of it, so why not geek put about it or try to learn something from someone doing the same thing? But the other day, this girl looked at me like a murderer because I politely waited for her to snap her phone pictures around the same spot I was. I didn't want to get in her way, and even made a compliment about the flower we were both looking at and taking photos of, but she looked like she saw a ghost. If people give you the time or the space to communicate, but you're too awkward or paranoid to take it, then the solution isn't more spaces for you to still ignore anyway. You gotta put your own work in too.
I agree, I'm just curious what kind of "space" you mean?
@@whuwhaaa2 honestly i'd like just some small town centers. the streets used to be for socializing and gathering before car companies lobbied to take that away and give the space to cars. could just be a few blocks that are blocked off from traffic and there's seating (for chatting and relaxing) some trees for shade on smaller scale
Invest can be swapped for create. We can create safer spaces outside the bounds of capitalism by transforming public spaces, harnessing the power of the your community. We already have the means.
It would be interesting to look into an educated discussion on urban / rural planning and how it varies from country to country - like US vs UK / EU.
How do they design their buildings, their living spaces, their cities, etc.?
What people don’t understand is that the algorithm isn’t there to help you. It took me quite a lot of my energy to personalise and craft the people I want to follow rather than the biggest hit package I should be following.
That's how it should be.
I rarely find videos from TH-camrs I'm subscribed to anymore on my feed page. It's all recommendations from whatever is trending at the moment or a video ages ago that TH-cam somehow wants everyone to see.
I can only go to my subscription tab to see what these TH-camrs have been up to but the succession of videos from one channel doesn't make it fun.
I wish it were one video after another but from these channels I'm subscribed to.
How do I get my feed to show me videos of only my subscription, if not, mostly my subscriptions? Please do you have any suggestions or ideas?
The algorithm isn't here to help you... but also my feed is full of licensed social workers & psychologist videos, which is cool that that niche exists
I'm trying hard not to click on such videos, especially since I keep getting redpill videos recommend 🙄.How long does it take for me to reset the algorithm?
The part about longing for safe spaces on the Internet it's so true. When I was 18 and first went to university all I did was sit alone on a bench watching people interact with each other, so I would trying to escape from my anxiety and loneliness by obsessively writing things to post later on my tumblr blog. I didn't even have internet on my phone but I felt a bit calmer knowing I would get nice messages once I got home. I wrote long messy personal stuff that some people actually read and I would get messages like "you got this!" or wishing my good luck and it felt so reassuring. It was like 10 years ago and we all had nicknames so I never knew much about them, but I still remember some of their profile pictures, like an owl or a moon.
that kinda sounds so charming
@bubbles bunny oh yeah I did that too, after leaving tumblr I used to post comics or drawings with very personal feelings on ig, but I wanted to be more anonymous so I switched to oversharing on reddit. I felt so understood but then I realized I was relying too much on Internet strangers, getting that excited feeling when I saw I had a reply or upvotes. So I stopped using it and deleted the app from my phone. Now I go back sometimes but mostly to check out the sims 2 subreddit or dumb stuff like that haha.
Alice, your style of commentary has become my absolute favorite. So many people view commentary through a judgemental/subjective lens, and it seems most of the time the thesis statement of these types of videos is "X is good" or "X is bad", whereas your work is more focused on exploring concepts and analyzing them through a shifting lens that I think is more fair to the genre. Thanks for creating so many thought-provoking videos that make my brain so happy and stimulated!
Thank you so much ✨
she's french that's why there is no black or white answer.
Feeling lonely is something that is very complex. We could have thousands of people around us, but we would still feel the same as if on an abandoned island. Interesting topic!
Very interesting indeed. As a loner myself I strangely find myself alone at home, or in nature, wishing people could see "this". As odd and counter intuitive as it sounds, I believe it is because so many of the quiet people's stories go unnoticed. I'm not always up to interacting with others, that takes effort and can quickly become draining, but I am at my peak when I'm enjoying my own company, that's when I am "out there", except there is no-one there. I have a lot to share, but the situation in which that is permitted and encouraged, through intense socialising at a loud party or with a large group of acquaintances , isn't one that permits that for me and many others.
I also really enjoy it when people forget to put down their blinds and one gets to see what is going on and imagine what might be said in the comfort of a kitchen at night. I suppose these kinds of volgs or videos unable the unseen to be celebrated for what it is, far away from the busy and unattainable lives of celebrities, and it gives the viewer the green light to fully indulge in that quiet voyeurism. TH-cam and social media are also great at shedding light on the diversity of people and their experiences, giving everyone a space to share into some kind of void, and miraculously be discovered by like-minded people, hence creating community.
Very well said!
I can relate to the need to be alone, as an introvert in order to feel our best and be in our most enjoyable states when we are alone, in a safe space, at home, whilst still desiring to share that with someone else because we still need that social connection. To satisfy this need, I've recently been thinking of going out with my more introverted friends to specifically do quiet and personal things, like going to a cafe and just reading our own books together for the whole afternoon. We're indulging in our personal activities but still sharing that experience with someone with similar introverted needs to us.
@@dragonslayer3203 that wouldn't do for me, what shuts me is the mere presence of an other, like, I can't be myself with others, not my relaxed free self at least. But I hope it will work for you.
@@julannelly Talking to yourself again...
That was so beautifully written! And a very apt observation-I agree
I really, really like your style of connecting pop culture with classics. This shows so beautifully how people over centuries have the same experiences.
Ugh I'm so conflicted. I really think it's important to advocate for safe space anywhere like irl or online and I love how online spaces have really transformed that experience for a lot of people and bring them together. At the same time I feel like I spent like the past decade watching an entire civilization become so engrossed with a tiny little screen that it seems like no irl experience is complete without someone (or everyone) bringing in their phones to have the experience. I also think that given technology's influence on creating feedback loops especially online, I don't know if this kind of behaviour brings us closer together or just makes us really stay in our camps. Like everyone wants to talk about being lonely online but no one wants to talk about how lonely it can feel to have a conversation with someone who is more interested in their phone than talking to you in person 🤷
But I gotta say like the Catcher in the Rye vs Emma Chamberlain analogy. Great take makes me want to check out the book and compare it myself 👌
I know I'm not alone in feeling somewhat awkward when I'm in a room full of people and they're all on their phones, especially with earbuds in, not really wanting to engage anyone else. I feel like an out of touch "boomer" for pointing it out, like I shouldn't have a problem with it. But I wish people felt the need to always be glued to their phones, watching Tik Toks, scrolling feeds etc. It doesn't help that apps are designed to be addictive, so it's not like people HAVE to live their lives this way.
I'm so glad Emma Chamberlain is finally getting respectful commentary. I find it interesting how her content has shifted and matured so much, yet she has retained so much of her 'basic' (I don't mean this in a derogatory way) and young audience that will post the same type of comments as before her shift (either copy-pasting 'trending' comments or writing very gushy messages). Her last videos seem to go largely unnoticed on 'intellectual' TH-cam, while I genuinely think Emma is a very intelligent person and her vlogs are some of the most moving vlogs I've ever seen on the platform. She's more real than a lot of purportedly 'real' TH-camrs think they are.
I got a little teary at the end because I feel like you perfectly encapsulated the reason I am drawn to political video essay content. We live in such an atomized society and you made me realize that engaging with this content is my way of trying to transition my life from one of loneliness into one of community and solidarity *in real life*. I say transition because this is the middle step: parasocially connecting with creators online and building a shared analysis of the world SO THAT I can muster up the courage to find people like you, or real community, in my own life. Thank you so much, Alice.
I think this success of lonely vlog is a reflexion of our individualistic society that enhance lonely people who are driven by their scopes
lo-fi mixes and radio stations on youtube kinda got me through a huge chunk of isolation and depression in early 2021. I don't know exactly where the culture of radical sincerity in these communities came from, but it gave me a lot of solace and hope. it creates a sense of physical place on these videos, like reading bits of graffiti at an old, quiet park
Aside from loneliness, there is alienation and isolation. Plus other factors like other mental health issues and environment that affects us. I'm from a place that lacks privilege, I experience the things I mentioned and to try to keep myself sane by resorting to things I can relate. I think there is positive things if handled properly even if you'll say it's romanticize. We need to try to help each other in these issues of loneliness and other mental health issues if we want this society of ours to work. Referencing the book Frankenstein, one of it's ideas was that society creates it's own monsters or demons through neglection. I wish therapy will be more accessible. Social media for me when I'm trying to connect with someone through here makes me more lonely. Also the insecurities that it can create to some of us if we can't help ourselves being envy of other people's lives. So if it's geneuine, I think people expressing their loneliness if it's in right circumstances is one way to help themselves and also help other people with the same sentiments. Seeing others like you will make you less lonely but it's suceptible to people who will just exploit others.
I never realised that I would enjoy an Academic Analysis of Emma Chamberlain. Great job 👏🏽
Loneliness can be addictive, I believe. It's hard to get out of the comfort zone, out of our "safe space". But recently I've been thinking that the most essential thing of living is to interact with other people, to let them know that you exist, to let them hug you, laugh with you, cry with you, sharing moments is the most precious thing. So I'm making the effort to spend more time with my loved ones and trying to make my almost non-existent friendships a thing and cultivate them. Thank you Alice, for the video, it made me reflect a lot and why is this a trend in society. Keep it up with the great content.
It’s not the most essential thing
I haven’t watched the video but that title alone is absolutely true
I have been craving social interaction lately, and I used to feel really weird about this, since as an “introvert” i am supposed to enjoy being lonely, but the truth is we’re not introverts or extroverts, we just react according to our feelings in a specific situation/ period of time. At the end, we’re all social beings because we’re humans and socializing is healthy and necessary. For me I need extroverted friends to get out of my bubble and it feels great to be appreciated.
It is what it is, being lonely most of the time is just bad for mental health.
I hope y’all find lots of lovely friends
Xx thanks for making this video
Solitude =/= loneliness
I find the idea of low social expectation online really interesting and have been thinking about it a lot recently. As an introvert who plays a fair bit of video games, I'm at times torn between my desire to share gaming with friends and play together, and my low "social battery" after a long day working. Ultimately that's where watching youtube or twitch has been nice - it's like gaming with a friend, except it doesn't take any energy.
I used to lament as a teen about how video games were pushing for online connectivity and not really making fun split screen games anymore. I didn't want to be interacting with strangers on a solo game, but I did want to be able to play games with my friends in the same room as me.
I was really excited when the switch was announced because it has a lot more support for games you can play together with people. Plus all of the charm and convenience of ds', Tamagotchi's and the like.
I had also been thinking lately about how culturally we don't watch tv together anymore (like set airing times), we just stream privately on demand, so we don't get to really chat and discuss our thoughts and feelings about the programs, we're alone with our thoughts. At least until we stumble into some niche online community
Me listening to lofi music while studying and this video comes up: Let's take a break from studying
Close enough to fall in, but far enough to fall out is the reason that makes people tell strangers about their life
This kind of reminded me of a book I'm reading by brazilian female author Clarice Lispector: "Água Viva".
I found this on Amazon (lol) for the english edition: "A meditation on the nature of life and time, Água Viva (1973) shows Lispector discovering a new means of writing about herself, more deeply transforming her individual experience into a universal poetry. In a body of work as emotionally powerful, formally innovative, and philosophically profound as Clarice Lispector’s, Água Viva stands out as a particular triumph."
Hi, I'm brazilian and I absolutely love that book. Clarice is a very important author to us and I also recommend anything else by her.
i am from a culture where moving out and living alone before you get married (especially if you are a women) is not an option. i remember consuming so much western content growing, teens moving out to their own small apartments after they turn 18 and being independant forever remained a fantasy for me. i remember being 15 and telling my mum on how i wanted to live alone when i grew up (not necessarily at 18) and her response wasnt so positive. it made me realise that she thought of me moving out as "ungrateful" and that i wasnt satisfied for what they were providing and this type of blackmailing is quite common in desi households which is the reason you wont see many of these people moving out young. i dont think there is anything wrong with being self dependant as soon as you can but i can also understand the parents concern as its not easy living alone as you think so these type of vids were more of like an escape for me especially as someone who likes being in their own company.
Agreed. as a south east asian, My sister was 27, done with her MBA abroad and had a decent amount of savings and still got flak not only from our parents but family friends for moving out as she was unmarried. living alone can definitely be alienating, but living with family who restrain your growth and emotionally blackmail you can be more draining
Same here as an Arab girl lol. I don’t think I’ll leave home till I’m married and I’ve accepted it :”) i remember wanting to move out to live with one of my very close friends (who lives very close to my parents house mind u) but all I got in response was the laughter of my parents at how ridiculous my request was
Indian?
@@triptinath5675 pakistani
I turned 40 this year. My life has been lonely for most of it. Prior to the pandemic, I was lonely, but never alone. After the pandemic, I'm ok with the loneliness, but I also really, really want to be left alone.
in my country there’s this expression: your video “came to me from the sky”. it means that it was something i longed for and it healed my soul ❤️
I had a sad lofi song go viral a few years ago, and I noticed that people were dumping their emotions/rants/feelings in the Soundcloud comment section totally unprovoked. I found it fascinating, and I'm glad you made a video on it. Thank you, Alice!
I got so happy when you talked about 'The Catcher in the Rye'. It has been my favourite book ever since I read it a year ago. Something about it makes me feel seen and valid. I think it is not just the loneliness, but also the coming of age kind of vlogs and novels that we are attracted to nowadays (at least young adults), which isn't weird, considering the fact that a lot of us grew up being online very often.
Let's not confuse introversion with being a measure of sociability. It is a preference for how we process information, not if we are gregarious or not. That's a separate scale.
I’m hoping to start a commentary channel this year and I just wanted to express that your videos are a breath of fresh air. They encourage discussion and critical thinking & you do it so well. It’s all very much appreciated, including the time you put into each video. Thank you 💖
I think one of the biggest reasons for this phenomena is how it almost involuntarily caters to lonely/isolated people. The pandemic shook social dynamics up, but the painful feeling and the stigma of being alone still stands. These spaces create a place where all types of loners can come around and make each other company not just in the safety and comfort of their room, but anonymously behind the screen. No need to worry about finding the bar that plays your type of music or about your appearance in a public space. There's a shared feeling of vulnerability knowing that the people in those spaces are in a similar position to yours that allows for them to find this feeling of belonging they so longed for.
That being said, they run the risk of becoming too comfortable to ever have people go out and try to socialize in real life, which could reduce their feeling of loneliness.
You know, that first book is pretty interesting (The lonely crowd) and I might buy it. To me it speaks a lot about the generations in my country, more specifically the difference between people who grew up in the countryside then migrated to the city versus people who are the children of people who grew up in the countryside then migrated to the city (in this case me). Growing up in the countryside brings a lot of this tradition-directedness vibe, and being a child of a family that grew up in the countryside brings the other two directedness vibe, depending on the person, in my opinion. Of course, I would have to read the book, but so far it feels pretty interesting.
The vlogs have the same exact vibe to me, that is indie films, indie documentaries, the false and pretentious vibe where we see a character who plays a fake friend with no depth to anything they say. There is no connection, only an idea of being someone worthy of that intimacy, that fake intimacy. Whatever is put out is safe, it cannot fall under moral judgment, because it's fake, it's like going out with someone who really doesn't want to talk, who is just waiting for whatever they want to happen and dealing with us, the public. Like going out with someone who just wants to get hammered, high, or whatever. You feel important, but you are not, because nothing important is being said, or shared.
The idea of lo-fi communities feels weird to me because it's too specific. TH-cam has that with every video, because if you go to a popular song there is likely a chance a popular comment will be about some personal stuff. "When my dad was sick we would listen to this", "When I was a child blablabla this song", etc. So I don't think it is a "community" thing, and the fact anyone would call it a community just labels it as a teenager/young adult thing. Teenagers/young adults want to own stuff, want to brand their generations, want to have their own slang, and want to belong. To me it's silly, it's just like listening to classical music and writing some vampire fanfiction in the comment section. It might have meaning if we consider strict parenting and all that, but all in all when the word "community" is used it is 100% silly and meaningless. It becomes about a bunch of people who wish they had the courage to make vlogs like those empty-minded people and then become famous for it.
To me, the glass metaphor applies perfectly to the fake behavior of everyone. The vloggers, the people who want to be part of a "community" of anonymous folks who could all be dead tomorrow, people who want to belong to an aesthetic. People who want to cosplay whatever they think they should be. The romanticization of a pseudo identity crisis. Instead of discovering who I am, of diving into the lake, I will dance over the frozen surface and talk about how I have to discover who I am. Seems pretty poetic.
yes yes yes! additionally to these great points, i find it very troubling to see such a strong community feeling created around depression, loneliness, isolation, alienation and notbelonging; having pretty pictures online and an invisible group that tells you it is okay - that seems like taking away power and necessity to move forward for every single one. yes, we need comfort, comfort will calm you down from time to time, but it won't lead your further way. nobody is encouraging one another to be drastical and daring in their approach to mental illness, we just accept generally the circumstances in which they take place (often the city, the stereotypical working life, maybe financial problems and then a vicious circle). seeking relieve from mental illness online feels like giving up to me. what people define as "belonging" is merely consuming and identifying with people that have the same problems as they have. and thats that also, you enjoy to define yourself being depressed because it makes you be someone. never denying mental illness - just really worried about the rise and normalization of low feelings & suicidal tendencies & not having energy left to direct yourself outwards (same goes for any other more psychiatric illness and addiction that is less in the spoline)
sorry it is probably not clearly related to your well put thoughts, my associations just kept going
Wow ! The last paragraph of your comment hits a nerve and could be the topic of a next video !
@@SkillSage_Pathways same thought.
I like the image of dancing on the frozen surface of the lake, instead of diving in.
Additionally, there is an anthropological concept of imagined communities (people in different places, sharing the same interest or feeling of belonging), and that isn't new at all, but it got blown up through the internet. Think Harry Potter/LOTR fandoms... they derive a sense of group identity from the books/movies and make their own worlds for each other. Many of them may never meet, but they do feel a sense of belonging, and that's a form of community. Imagined community, that is. The word community gets overused so much (also "fam" for someone's following that is definitely not family), that it doesn't surprise me that younger kids are using it for whatever. It's parasocial relationships over the internet that changed a lot of people's perception on this, I think.
I love how this popped up in my feed ☺️ Nearly two weeks ago, I realized my loneliness and my fear of being authentic is the root cause of my depression. I’m 27 with two Bachelor’s degree, yet I feel more lost than ever as I’m unemployed. I graduated the winter before the pandemic hit, which SUCKED. I see all these TH-camrs living alone and I thought there was something wrong with me; Why couldn’t I see my struggle as something motivational? While it’s nice to be alone most of the time, it’s truly just me avoiding my fear of judgement.
I also think the popularity/appeal of living alone content is in part due to how unattainable it is in a lot of areas these days. It's increasingly common for people to have to share with multiple people just to afford a roof over their head. So the idea of having privacy and autonomy over your space feels like a wistful dream. Additionally, those who do prioritise living alone usually have to sacrifice a lot of other activities or pastimes to compensate for the amount they are spending to have a comfortable home. Which I feel adds to the feelings of loneliness and social isolation a lot of these creators are expressing (obviously excluding those who are from privileged financial backgrounds, though I'm sure there's other factors for their loneliness)
Man the catcher in the rye feels so relatable in its loneliest moments
With the lofi music communities, I found something similar with the comment sections under ‘why am I depressed’ videos where people would be super open about their worries, hopes and insecurities and I thought that was something you don’t see on the internet very frequently these days
The catcher in the rye is one of my favourite books, it affected me so deeply
the ´living alone vlogs’ movement has separated the ideas of loneliness and being alone. the vlogs enforce that you don’t have to feel lonely when you’re alone, in fact they are sharing their aloneness with other people removing the loneliness from the mix. it encourages you to enjoy your own company and entertaining yourself
just the other day I was like "I'd like to read/ watch a deep investigation of the community on always-on lofi chat rooms". I've been going to one every now and then and it really is like a group chat with people all over the world. they're talking about their lives, sharing recipes, role-playing, flirting...
The flickering candle is so good, better than a static lamp.
WOW, I do not know how you always manage to capture unvoiced feeling of people -me, in your analysis. The connection you make between lofi communities, living alone vlogs and the video-essay community is worth observing and highlighting.
This was so inspired, Alice! Absolutely love bridging literature and art with current digital media. What a cool niche for you, would love to hear more of it!
I find very ingesting this dynamic of comparing Emma Chamberlain’s vlog with The Catcher in the Rye. Thanks for this content Alice
I'm actually lonely, I don't meet anyone, I go out just if I have to buy something or do some sport, I don't communicate/speak with anyone on social media, I only have Reddit and TH-cam and I only watch and comment, the only people I speak with are my parents because I live with them
+ I have no friend or girlfriend or boyfriend or bestfriend
As soon as you said that Emma reminds you of a literary character... I knew you were going to say Holden Caulfield! But omg! I have never made that connection before. You are a genius lol! I love your videos :-)
I absolutely love the Holden/Emma comparison. Totally accurate.
Thank you so much! Your work inspires me so much!
Your commentaries are great. And I love the topics that interest you. Keep making them, thank you.
you always cover all the right topics!
Welcome back! It’s always a delight to see a new video here.
I'm so glad I found your channel (or the algorithm gifted it to me). It's getting more and more rare that I discover great channels like yours, filled with continuously thought-through content. So thank you for sharing your fascinating perspective
I love the evolution of your content. Seeing more clips and images in your videos adds to its engagement and shows how much you've grown presentation-wise.
Reflections on social/content platforms, its pros and cons etc, are urgently needed.
Thanks for your sharing.
I really got into Emma's vlogs last year too, they are really well done, actually missing her vlogs now
You probably won’t read this but you are so intellectually and emotionally intelligent, it’s truly a wonder to behold. Thank you for sharing your insights.
You genuinely blew my mind with "escaping and relating to your other-directed nature" - I never realized that, the double appeal of online safe spaces.
It's so true. With online safe spaces, like the lofi community, you can make everything you say "perfect". You're less likely to be incoherent or come off as awkward. And living alone vlogs are "interaction" - but with none of the anxiety. Both are heaven for lonely anxious people.
Especially cause when you’re lonely, any verbal communication “develops a disproportionate importance, and with it a disproportionate risk”. (Quote from "the Lonely City" by Olivia Laing)
When u mess up (which is likely since you’re already anxious) - it’s hell.
So online spaces are SUCH a nice escape. But I think they can make things worse. The longer u stay there the more u prefer it, the longer u stay there the less practice u get, it’s a vicious cycle.
Thank you for posting this! It gave me a lot to think about. (thank you for introducing me to the term "other-directed" too!)
Love your content 💕
Ahh feelin called out and I love it! As someone who just started a “Solo Diaries” series, I agree because it’s my creative way of merging lifestyle content & commentary/video essay content to create vlog like content that still has meaning. Will def give Glitch a read!! I’m sure it’ll help me think more about the content I’m creating/work I’m doing. Perhaps more of the action and ability to think beyond ourselves that you spoke about :) loved this vid!
This is a great one. Thanks !
This was so beautiful made your voice is calming and the vibes are immaculate 10/10!!!!
i love EVERYTHING about this video
I really loved this video! Especially the beginning with nighthawks and the comparison to Holden
Really relatable cuz in China you have some counterpart of lofi community, namely some music app where people put random expressions of lonliness, depression etc in the comment area(with no specific relativity to the song). I just wonder how this can turn into a power of political action and if possible, is that a desirable future of the way we organize the society...I doubt we will get deeplier stucked in the cyberspace.
Living and studying in Paris, at times I think of producing this kind of living alone videos. After introspection it comes to my desire to look "different but relatable". I actually want to attract those who share the similar "enjoying being alone" sentiment, which is itself a desire to socialize. And if do so I might gotta have a production team, consequently I would be kinda "performing loneliness"...(très overthinking)
Some of the TH-cam videos celebrate solitude, which is not the same as lonelyness. Besides this, glad I found this channel
Absolutely loved this
Alice, I just love how your videos are so well-structured and how you provide in-depth analyses of relevant topics. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
When alice said “yes I managed to turn something very apolitical into something political” in conclusion to her analysis, it somehow reminded me of when hozier said in one of his interview “music is political no matter what “ and that really fueled my practice in trying to see through things and events from a birds eye view.
Great video Alice, as always a sharp look to internet media, I usually listen to lofi music and I've never realized the comment section, and thanks for the books recommendation.
I love your content, and thanks for your videos that make my English better!! saludos desde Venezuela!
Wow this is a very interesting topic, thank you Alice. One thing that I do find interesting to add to your points of discussion is how with these vlogs/videos discussing loneliness and insecurities it is far less common to see males participating in this exercise (by that I mean be open to talk about there loneliness sincerely to there viewers). I think this would be an interesting topic to dive into further, or if any other TH-camr has talked about to leave links to
That's a conscious choice by men, to avoid talking about it and keep working. Nothing wrong with that btw. If you want to hear a man talk about loneliness and insecurity go watch Theo Von.
Photography trends lean into this too. It's very popular among young people to make moody, "cinematic" lonely photos of empty petrol stations, and night streets. I tend to only see older photographers leaning into the brigher, daylight, colourful photography.
Also, since your Alt Self-help critique, every time I watch your videos YT starts recommending me Alt Self-Help. 😂
for me internet or you say social media is the only thing that can escape from this lonely world to a busy world ,now by also typing this i feel somebody will read or will not who know it and what matters at all i get a sense of busyness or friendlyness without having no friend to talk like this also my friends are also lonely and busy like me so i cant help them i only help myself the whole world can only stay with only themselves or i mean to say with live with their own thought or your own thoughts (like me )just talking to myself without listening to the video just going through a suffering like i am stuck in a thought(why i will live my rest of my life from today,what will be the main purpose after i wake up in the morning )i think i will never find these answers i am stuck or i can let it to time where it will take me(i have so much freedom to express my thoughts thank you youtube,and thank you to you to make tgus video)
I find your topics and approach very intriguing, and captivating. I can honestly say up until now I had never followed a channel of this nature. Great work. I look forward to future videos.
I never thought about the connections between these three types of content. how interesting that they are the main types of videos i watch here on youtube
your voice is so calming
Your videos are amazing and so well researched!!
Wasn't expecting the JD Salinger comparison but wow it's so spot on !!
Love this video my favourite of yours so far
this is such a good video. the parallel between holden and emma is so perceptive!
Thank goodness that women like you are getting recognition! More please and best wishes!
Wow, listening to this reading of the painting's meaning on loneliness makes me think about how great of a visual reference it was for one of the scene's with the riddler in 'The Batman' (2022). This modern version of the Riddler was a very terrifying update on the character, tapping into zeitgeist anxieties of lonely, online, incel culture leading to small groups of men taking violent, horrific, evil action in the real world against minority groups.
So cool I love your content so much and it is so nice to watch your growth as a video creator
this is such an amazing video
Excellent video Alice, really interesting takes!
You bring such interesting topic! Gotta watch the video...
Damn I was so thoroughly invested in this video that I was bummed when it ended. I found this topic super interesting. I like how much it challenged me to think more deeply about the types of videos I watch on here. These days I'm mostly into commentary videos instead of lifestyle content for the reasons that you mentioned in this video. I guess it feels like I'm listening to an older/wiser friend whenever I watch commentary videos.
"it shows a desire to not only share feelings through the camera, but also use this connection we have to actually think beyond ourselves." Absolutely.
I just can't help but feel sad when I see these kind of videos. Loneliness is common, but there's a difference between being "Alone" and being by yourself. And the few human beings that are truly alone, it is tragic; that's not how it should be.
I am OBSESSED with this topic. I make TH-cam videos that are similar in nature to some of the accounts that you talk about here and I am constantly obsessed with evaluating different approaches to understanding what is influencing the perspective I present, the distance with the audience I'm intentionally (or unintentionally creating) and what message that communicates, the intention behind the subject or content, or noticing the trends in this genre and why it's so popular... I could go on and on... Again, girl, I want to sit down for coffee with you and talk for hours about this!!
My understanding about this is constantly evolving -- it's an endlessly juicy topic -- the genre truly is a microcosm of the macrocosm -- (maybe part of the reason I make content like this) -- I don't think that I know anything BUT, the understanding that I have in this moment is this: this genre is SO intriguing is because *it visually represents a sense of Self Possessiveness/Sovereignty.* Within Modern People Culture (MPC - a term I use to describe a generalised globalised modern culture) *Self Possessiveness/Sovereignty is GOLD. It is a kind of power.* Not only does it connect us to a fundamental part of ourselves that is mostly denied or not validated by the current system (inner communion & inner "success" or even raw honesty about our experience) but it also an expression of resistance against a world where we are largely stripped of our self determination/soverignty by external demands of society, making money, cultural programming etc. OR robbed of our ability to be honest about our experience and struggles because stories of success, control, and "having it all figured out" were prioritised, validated, and glorified in the past.
*We are becoming disillusioned by solely external measures and expressions of success, fulfilment etc. (hello self-help genre). This genre visually expresses: inner connectedness, inner realm development or sovereignty; creating/navigating our world, our Self, separate from the influences of society and the demands of the incredibly overwhelming external world that demands that become reactive beings to external demands. Alone-ness is a new measure of empowerment and self determination in reaction to the highly externalised trends of previous decades.*
I could write a book on this but I'll stop here. THANK YOU for this Alice.
Cool video. Your videos got me into this type of video and content so thank you
Love the illustration.
this is unrelated but i love your voice, it sounds very calming :) this is a very interesting topic, thx for sharing your thoughts on this
I had felt a little like I was dying in all this isolation, stress after stress. I hope we can find ways to bring out a sense of connectedness beyond just sharing ideas through electronics. Life is so much more then that
This was such fun! 👏🏽
This has such a “The Disconnect” vibes! I love it! I’ll say it again: John Berger would have loved your work!
Wow, how can you always pick such good topics for your videos? I never know what's next and you always pleasantly surprise me