I'm Socially Awkward. (Opening Up)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 มิ.ย. 2021
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“You can’t force a connection. We meet the right people at the right time under the right circumstances through natural vibrations.”
So true!
Absolutely true
are you high or something?
Sorry I commented on the wrong section. And I am high on caffeine and ltheanine from the matcha tea I had a half an hour back.
Without matcha I am like Snorlax and with matcha I am like a Charizard.
Not completely true when it comes to dating though. If you want to meet people at least someone has to "force" the approach.
The worst part of being socially awkward is that I keep reliving moments that I consider 'awkward and embarrassing' and it kind of ruins potentially pleasant experiences. However, I never let this come in the way of doing things. I've sort of learned to live with it.
You're getting better, good luck & God bless you
The worst thing about being awkward is you say things that you don't even understand and you shouldn't say it.
hahaha i understand, this is the story of my life, but i feel recently, (since about last year) i have gotten a grip of that awkwardness by embracing it laughing at myself / with myself typa thing, and thinking to myself how funny it was that moment of awkwardness was! and what shifted my mindset in that way was seeing a hella extroverted friend of mine go through an extremely awkward interaction, but the twist was how he went about it afterwards lmao. He was like FUCK IT!, giggling about it and how awkward that interaction was. While myself, i used to feel down, dumb and dirtily awkward about it. HAHA now im too like fuck it! and also if it gets awkward it probably was the other person's fault haha
Omg I thought I was the only one same🥹
Literally just had a little breakdown over this. I feel so isolated and awkward in the office I work at because I can't make any casual relationships with any of my co-workers. I never could make casual friends, I don't even understand how other people do it, it always feels extremely awkward when I try and I'm getting really disheartened about it.
Don't worry, you're not alone. So am i
Do you had something traumatic about your childhood?
You’re not alone!! This has happened to me too. What helped me over come it was simply asking people about themselves and then branching out on that. So I ask people “how was their weekend” or “how is that hobby they like going” or something like that. Showing genuine interest in peoples lives really helped me overcome my anxiety and in turn, people loved talking about themselves since not everyone takes genuine interest in them. And casual relationships are great, and not every relationship has to be so deep. Finding little things in common with people helps and also realizing that we are all human who experience human things helped me connect with people too. Anyway, I really hope you feel better and get out there and practice, and then it’ll come naturally
Also compliment people! They love that
@@rezbezcaa Rebecca, great advice! But I had question for you. How about if those people who socially awkward is feeling like disconnect to themselves/ to their soul? Like they feel emotionally disconnect,and can't relate emotionally, not by words. And that make you feel lonely and human ghost. I know u will understand about my question.
I can relate, but your mindset is what’s messing you up, you said you can’t make any causal relationships, you could never make any casual friends, you have the internet widely at your disposal, and instead of using it as a free resource to learn, you just say you don’t know how, that’s total victim mentality lol, your goal should be to change the way you talk about yourself in relationship to anything social interaction-ey, whenever you have a negative thought, or disempowering thought, use your awareness and change it to an empowering thought, and do your best to not be so hard on yourself, my biggest advice is learn how to love yourself, self love is everything, then after you love yourself you won’t give a shit what other people think, but it can take weeks even months, but it’s a journey worth pursuing
There's nothing wrong with having social anxiety and being an introvert. The reality is, there are a LOT of people like you and you aren't in this alone. We have a lifetime to develop our social skills and become the best person we can be! 💪🏻
That motivated me!
absolutely
So true, there are many introverts in the world (including me). Some people just prefer spending time alone & that’s okay
@@tamzpyne7613 Some days I feel like talking to people, other days I don't. It's totally normal!
@@princessdenne Sometimes we need to be ourselves and recharge, nothing wrong with that!
Socially awkward people really get drained by people's energy they don't like small talks. They are the ones having one to one deep conversations not like with everyone but with the ones that makes them feel themselves.
I hate when people I don't know say "how are you today" I know its rhetorical most of the time but damn I literally don't know you why do you need to know how I am like go away
@@maple_vanilla yeah I feel like it's so fake, unnecessary and superficial
@@nevsoul9646 its so normalized to ask that in the US its part of why id like to move away soon 😂
@@maple_vanilla personally I like when people say what’s up
Then theres me who often can’t have a conversation even with people I would call my closest friends
For social anxiety, Zoom feels even more awkward than in person.
Omg so true, I skipped my zoom classes cos of this😭
@@maed3266 same with me also 😐
true. espescially the part when you speak concurrently with other people and you can't see their facial expression
That's why i hated online classes. I was even more anxious because of that.
Like your face
As an actor I've learned this: they are nervous too, so instead of focusing on your own neurosis focus on theirs and help them feel comfortable. You stop worrying about yourself and start building healthy relationships. It really works!
who’s nervous too?
@@squiddyft.insecurities3549 everybody who surrounds you, everybody you talk to, some may hide it better then others, but it's natural for people to feel uncomfortable around new people and new situations.
@@SashaKuznetsova es verdad
Ah!this sounds great.. But wht if that persons hates small talk🙂or don't like me.. Wht if i won't b able to understnd his/her character!? (Sorry my anxiety is compellng me to ask these qns)🙂🙂
@@vinaya5682 this was just a suggestion. It may not work for everyone but it works for me. I try to pay attention to their challenges in life. If a person doesn't like to talk let them be quiet and make them feel OK about it. They will talk when they are ready.
With most people that don't like you - be extra kind, "kill them with kindness". Most likely they don't like you because they sense that you don't like them.
The same with the people you don't understand - be kind and respectful. Agree to disagree kind of thing. Don't hurt their egos, let them be heard.
I know it's easier said than done and I'm not sure this was helpful to you at all but I hope you can find peace with yourself and people around you.
“I’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain” is something I use almost daily. It’s about confidence and risk-taking, two things that don’t come as naturally to us shy people 🐥
Yes, same here
Extrovert/ambivert here. I like to use “I accept myself” & “I need them more than they need me”. Always had a high self esteem and determination although I get confused easily so could use more order! Good luck with things! Quarantine didn’t affect me much but I still had to learn to not let my fears rule me over! ;D
Yess! Main thing that blocks me from doing anything in life is lack of confidence and not being brave and risk taking
@@AnthonyBayardCashman love the confidence! We're very lucky that quarantine didn't affect us much. It affected countless people in irreversible ways!
@@sepikato I get you 😌 I've been trying to put myself in situations where I can boost my confidence without taking too much risk. It's a hard thing to do, so I'm starting in the shallows + learning to doggie paddle 😋
She is literally me. That's why I watch her.
Same for me
You mean figuratively not literally.
Same!!!
same.
@@nathanlewis42 literally figuratively
I’m also socially awkward, I get so embarrassed too, because sometimes when I’m nervous I speak my insecurities out loud and I regret doing so every time.
Me too
Me too ,dear,don’t need to worry you are not alone
Me too, and after I feel bad for that
I’m moving to Portugal all alone next month, I only have one friend there, no family and I’m quite socially awkward. But I want to challenge myself and get better! I’m a lot less awkward than before and that’s through forcing myself in uncomfortable situations! It gets better!
You're awesome! Good luck.
i love this. it gets better! indeed, good luck!
Great!
I tried it once to UK.
Good luck.
You will feel good don't worry. That's most important
Feeling good
I'm trying to do the same thing. Either moving to Japan to teach or moving outside of Paris with a family member potentially. It's super scary to do something that big when all you feel like you wanna do is chill in your room with your doggo and watch TH-cam. =P
For me the worst thing about being socially awkward is the stigma around it. I've been judge for not having many friends or for not being always talkative when there's nothing wrong with that!
*5 things to quit right now:*
*1. Overthinking*
*2. Trying to make everyone happy*
*3. Living in the past*
*4. Worrying*
*5. Doubting yourself*
And these are the valid points. 😁
I have all these. Can’t shake it away. Is this what anxiety is?
Not living for uself, u live for urself, don't owe anything , I don't owe anything to naybody
@@luna_intheclouds no everyone goes through that
Easier said than done.
I can totally relate. 💯😊
Same here 💜
🤗☀️
Me too
me too 100%
omg, guys, just relax and let it flow naturally...
I think all of this comes down to the way our society is. For example, when we were kids and were in school. The teacher asked the shy introverted kid to stand up and answer his/her question.
To be honest, I am 18 years old now. And when I reflect back on this incident. This is a non-solution to a non-problem.
So true
Lol. Public speaking was the worse!
Hahaha yes
My parents would always get told i need to speak up more and that i don't interact because i'm lazy. That really stayed with me.
That's right
I thought of disappearing from everyone's life and enjoying solitude to recharge myself, for the past few days. I haven't been responding to my friends' texts for days now and was feeling guilty at the time. And Lana showed up with this video at the exact right time. This reminded me it's ok to be an introvert, and it's ok to be me.
Hey my name is Luna too
@@wolfgangproductions7402
Oh, girl, it's not my real name. I chose it because I like Luna Lovegood from HP. Anyway, I think you are extremely lucky to have such a beautiful name, Luna 🌙
I have social anxiety and will be working at the reception desk in a hotel. The good thing is that it’s not that big… Wish me luck ;-)
good luck u'll do great :)
I have social anxiety as well, wish you all the luck 🍀
I know that I can do this! Good luck 👍❤️
I also worked as a receptionist for a while (before the plandemic when it got closed). It was in a small 2 star pension, so not too much communication with guests and rarely making or answering phone calls. It was a good experience. Now I'm looking for a job in Prague to where I moved recently and it's quite stressful at times, especially the job interviews, but I handled my first proper interview ever pretty well although I didn't get the job... Another thing is that I hardly know anyone here, so need to make some friends. But that gets me rather excited than anxious :) Good luck on your journey!
god luck Jack,,, i have found that focusing in Breathing helps to diminish the anxiety,,, some anxities are different than others, as the causes are a bag of different things,,, we start doing the akward talk or movement due to lack of Focus,,, mind overfilled with other stuff and not the Moment,,, cheers!
I would like to be completely honest here and share that I’ve struggled with stomach issues related to anticipation of social events and interactions. The anxiety I feel often effects my stomach and then I feel like I need to use the restroom (💩). I’ve learned that when our bodies perceive something as dangerous (even if it is not) our body may enter fight or flight mode or even freeze or fawn. Our body’s attempt to survive may cause us to need to poop (to empty out any extra weight) to prepare us to flee. I’ve learned this from a book called “How to do the work” by the Holistic Psychologist. When I do feel this way, something that helps is doing deep belly breathing and grounding myself in the moment to reassure myself I am safe and the person place or event I will interact with are safe.
Yes i just saw a commercial we have 20lbs of toxic waste at all times.
Makes sense!
" i have nothing to lose and everything to gain " yes i need to remember this bc it's so true
I'm not a bit excited for things opening up again tbh. Being on lockdown was an introvert's dream lol...
Agree
the worst part abt being socially awkward is the stigma around it. literally the other day someone tweeted “if shes pretty but cant socialize with ur family, then dont marry her, we better off marry a wood.” everyone sees it as a negative thing, as if we’re not even trying, as if its a natural thing for everyone to have. ugh
It’s okay to be awkward, quiet, weird, it’s when we start trying to act like someone that we are not that people will start to feel that something is wrong with you. Why would someone want to get to know you when you don’t even want to be yourself. You’ll find the weirdest and most awkward or most jealous or feel in the blank people with many good friends and loved ones. Because they are themselves, simply growing.
a sudden silence is unavoidable. Sometimes you just dont know how to response.
let it be
who feels happy when she uploads?
ME!
@@codymoore7841 And also me. 😁
I remember when I got into a new school. Being an introvert, it wasn't easy for me to go there but I had to:/
A teacher one day asked me something in front of the entire class. I was numb at that point. I remember that my legs were shaking. I tried to speak but couldn't utter a single word. Everyone's eyes were on me. It was all silent. I became nervous. But then she told me to sit and said 'Try to speak louder'.
I wanna erase that moment from my mind. But sadly I can't.
I've been through a lot of incidents like this. People ask me why am I so silent and it kills me. I feel bad for myself. I've no one to talk about this.
Everyone is different. I don't know why some people keep on hurting me.
But it feels good to know that there are people like me. I'm not alone:)
Love your videos;)
Sound like my life
Hey, know that I had those same experiences in life and just like you, I wish I could delete them from my memory. Don't worry, you're not alone! It's hard to be an introvert (and a quiet shy person) in this world :)
@@daniellacardenas705 yup
We are together:)
Finally found someone who can relate to me...
Dude that's the worst feeling
@@karri17 yup:(
Jordan Peterson once said that if you feel drained after having a conversation with multiple people, that is the first sign that you are an introvert. I unfortunately understand that feeling too well.
Same here!
if there's more than 4 people talking at the same time i just listen
This is the first time I have seen a Marxist praise JP
Same here.
No such thing as an introvert as everyone is a combination of things. I really don't know why people keep on using that phrase. Have people not realized that everyone can enjoy their own space and tranquility, whilst also going out and enjoying some company. I myself at the end of the day love my own space and peace and quiet, whilst happy to go out and talk to people.
This is literally me. It was worse when I was in high school. Like, I got really nervous with day-to-day stuff at school. For example I was so nervous sometimes that my body was shaking just because I needed to ask a classmate for a pen or whatever. It was a lot of pressure. So I started "training" my social skills. And I started to ask the hour or directions to random people on the street on my way home or school. And it stopped to be a big deal after some time. I stopped feeling nervous about it. Of course, I'm socially awkward but that's just me, but at least I don't feel nervous with day-to-day stuff.
Being Socially awkward has been a huge problem of mine as well as over thinking my words before talking, the moment I realised a lot of people felt this way, I didn't feel so weird anymore
I've been socially awkward ever since I can remember and I don't think that's changing anytime soon so I fully accept it because there's many more people like this out there, more than I can ever imagine. And even being like this I managed to make some friends that have stuck around for years. :)
A lot of us have some level of social awkwardness! We all have strengths and weaknesses. You are awesome, Lana! Keep up the great work and don’t be afraid to get out of your comfort zone. That’s how you grow!
Yes, that's true and God bless you
@@dessidian you too!
I am an introverted overthinker. I love your explanations and advise. I feel how scattered thoughts get organized in my head after watching your videos. Thank you, Lana.
A lot of us have some level of social awkwardness! If we learn to embrace humility we will improve and learn to be at ease with our being. You are awesome, Lana! Keep up the great work and don’t be afraid to get out of your comfort zone. That’s how you grow!
Yes that's right
At this point, I don't care if I'm forced to socialize since it's out of my control. I just want to earn more, travel & lose myself witnessing sunsets on mountains/beaches.
Absolutely relate - there are thousands upon thousands of people who echo this same thing. Cheers
Yes. Cheers
i see you as an older sister i never had... thank you so much for inspiring and helping me become a better version of me ❤️
❤️❤️
Same💖
I totally feel you!! Small talk makes me feel super awkward. What helps me is to tell myself "I'll show up but if I hate it or there's too much small talk drivel, I'll give it another 10 minutes and then I have permission to leave (aka escape)." 😬It's helped me get out of the house more, and also give each awkward encounter a little bit more time and space to "breathe"... and most times it's not so bad, but if it gets to the point where I'm really not having a great time - at least I tried! :)
Yes, so do i
If only we could focus more on the emotional connection instead of the awkward silence. We understand to speak this way naturally, but very few people are willing to bring the conversation here, and we wonder why we feel so alone.
Interesting
Somebody said ”You’re not bad at communication,it’s your two’s frequensies do not maych”. And it changed how i see my communication skills.I realized there r people that i can talk to easily,and some people are just not the type of ppl u wouldnt want to /or cant talk much.energy vibrates
I'm on the autism spectrum and every word I speak has to go through this "decryption filter" before I know how to speak it. My timing is off with the whole catch-and-throw of conversation, but I still manage most social interactions gracefully.
My advice is to keep interactions simple and polite. Maybe tell the truth if you get stuck. "Bear with me, I'm not the best talker". Regular people understand.
You're brave for uploading this, probably helps many viewers who feel the same way! I think it's already very helpful to realise that there are so many people dealing with this to some degree
The pandemic validated me, to some degree. I am introverted and driving into the office to work every day was taxing. The work day was taxing. Not because of the work, but because of the constant people-ing I was forced to be a part of. I enjoy working remotely, as it lessens the amount of times that I feel socially awkward around other people. I spend too much time obsessing about my last interaction and what I said wrong or how I came across to someone else. Shout out to all of us introverts/social awkward folks. I feel represented and here in the US, I've enjoyed very much this "lock down" for nearly 2 years. I've been able to focus on work and take off the focus of my personality clashing with others.
*"Everything in life is easier when you don't concern yourself with what other people are doing."*
The chances of you seeing this comment is pretty low, but if you did, *I hope you have an amazing day.* 🖤
I wish I could figure out a balance between that and helping others D:
Love this comment 👍🏾
thank you sm
I think there is a difference between anxious and awkward. It's hard not to care what people think but I think it's very freeing to just make a joke of awkwardness (even if just in your head) can take a lot of the pressure to be perfect away. Quarantine was great a first but now way too long. Thanks Lana
Ys
Yes i think so
The feeling of awkward may be just because of the "brain process" delay on the current situation yet the result is not as expected calculations. I think its both the receiver and sender.
Broke up with my boyfriend recently and am really struggling to make friends so am feeling super lonely, so glad I found this vid thank you :)
I get super nervous when getting ready to go out sometimes and something that helps me for some reason is sucking on an ice cube--gives me something to focus on and I feel like literally and metaphorically cools me down? Wish you the best though, definitely hard getting back there in the world.
Thank you for differentiating between "awkwardness," the nerves that everyone feels socially at one time or another, and "anxiety" as a medical condition. So often very normal nerves, that can be overcome by meeting the nerve-inducing thing head on, nothing to lose and all to gain, are characterized as medical "anxiety," either cheapening the issues of true anxiety or escalating the awkwardness to that level - a thing tends to become what you make it out to be, and Words have power. You've hit the nail on the head here. Cheers. :)
no one suffers from social awkwardness, what they suffer is their imagination from someone else’s perspective .
Just live happily u get this chance everyday and when u don’t get the chance I am sure u will regret.
I recently did an interview and I remember practicing and being very fluent with my words but when the actual interview started I was at loss for words and I felt completely dumb at the end of it. This is how my social awkwardness plays out in my life 😬. Thank you for your video, it was really helpful.😊
"What i Feel doesn't prove Who Iam" That's Powerful TQ LANA for sharing!!
"I believe talking about it could be helpful to someone."
Lana, thank you for this amazing content! I thought I'm the only one feeling this way. It felt like a big tight hug listening to you talk about this.
I've been an introvert and did dislike small talk
later I realized its a tool to build a bridge into a deep conversation - and if all I have to do is to talk 1-2min about stuff I'm not interested in to have a conversation about 1h or longer about something that i am interested and create a connection that is worth it
I have to say, this channel is one of the best channels on TH-cam,
You really make me feel human with your videos Lana, like it is okay to make mistakes and be awkward at a times, and don’t have to be on your guard 100% of the time
I am on the same boat with you, Lana! Thank you for the courage and post it online. The positive takeaway is life will undoubtedly get better, so must us!
I really needed to see this video. So many times I feel so awkward in social situations and it makes me feel like I'm the only one like this. But watching your video and reading comments surprises me that I'm not the only one who feels this way.
I know everyone of you is cool and interesting in some way. It's definitely worth the time getting to know each and everyone of you. Stay awesome 🙂
When people interact with me they don't believe I'm introverted, but it is exhausting to keep up a front when I would prefer being at home by myself doing what I want to do.
I feel socially awkward often; mine probably stems from social anxiety. Lana, I think your advice to acknowledge social awkwardness or anxiety but not make it part of one's identity is very important.
My offline college starts from tomorrow and I was soooo worried about it and have been overthinking about it since so many days, but watching this video makes me feel so much better and now I'm actually looking forward to tomorrow! Thank you so much you're the best!!! : )
Hey Lana, great topic to talk about especially at such a fragile time for many people whether it's something new that you're feeling or if your've dealt with it your whole life we tend to mould ourselves into what we perceive the world to be. I know exactly how you feel as iv'e felt and still have social anxiety and feel awkward when in that situation like wanting to throw up. I'm an introvert a lot of the time which has made it difficult to jump over the hurdles that life gives me, I've always managed to get past it eventually but wish i could convince myself to do without so much procrastination and worry. I think that quote about having nothing to lose and everything to gain is a good way to look at things though. Thank you for sharing your perspective on things!
Small thing that helped me was working out exactly when my social skills break down. For example I love one on one conversations but as the group gets larger I get less and less enjoyment. I think 4 is my limit because once there is 5 you can get 3 vs 2 situations and the whole "group dynamic/feeling" comes into play and I don't really know/want to Navigate it 🤷♂️
The song is named "Que sera sera" it's the translation of "whatever will happen will happen" in French. And this simple few words has helped me to fight my anxiety (i am going to get it tattooed on my right hand so every time i feel anxious i will just look at my hand)
From Alain de Botton's The Course of Love:
"What makes people good communicators is, in essence, an ability not to be fazed by the more problematic or offbeat aspects of their own characters. They can contemplate their anger, their sexuality and their unpopular, awkward or unfashionable opinions without losing confidence or collapsing into self-disgust. They can speak clearly because they have managed to develop a priceless sense of their own acceptability."
Exactly!! Same here! Was starting to feel weird, like something's wrong with me. But now that you say it - YES, in fact there's many feeling that way! Thank you for hitting all these points so perfectly! 💖
Hey Lana,
Thank you so much for opening up about this! I feel like there's not enough people that talk about social awkwardness or social anxiety when I'm sure everybody has felt it in some degree. I struggle with social anxiety and personally, its hard for me to talk about it even to my closest people. It's such a "shame-filled" and "embarrassing" topic that needs to be talked about more!
I really do think that sharing our experiences with each other (even publicly so it reaches more people) is part of the solution :)
Same, I find it really hard to tell my family about my severe social anxiety.
I was never in any real "lockdown". I didn't lose my job, everything carried on as before. So with everything opening up, it's no different. Now, I don't think I'm socially awkward, per say, but I do get the feeling of not belonging, even if I'm among friends, and their friends, like at a party, or even at our staff Christmas party.
totally can relate. everytime i take the train/metro to meet people (even friends, knowing i’ll be having fun) i feel somehow anxious. and then when i’m there and having fun already, i question myself why i was nervous🥲
Dude you are like the big sister I've never had. Thank you so much for the advice!
I live in sweden and have watched your videos for a long time now but I have never heard you speak swedish before now. That was cool! :)
I’m the same. I’ve recently tried forcing myself to see the upcoming social event happen positively and forcing the negative thoughts out of my mind as soon as they show up (which is the difficult part). Plant that positive seed and nurture it. Anxiety is created from worrying about the future. The blunt truth is that only you can change that. And that starts with your mindset.
This is so refreshing to watch. I’ve always thought it was me but I think I get lost in what the other person thinks of me that I forget to just be myself. Thank you Lana, for being open about this! It makes me feel like I’m not alone feeling awkward sometimes 🥺💗
I'm okay with my awkwardness and letting it out but I have identified a problem I've always had and that it is I have many monotonous conversations. I'm amazed that people are able to talk and/or have podcasts for well over an hour every day. How are people able to converse so long? I feel like I'm on this path with no guidelines on what it means to have human connections.
I relate to this video on another level. And I feel like I have a lot to say on this, but writing comments is such a tricky job for me😥. Anyway.. I just wanted to send alot of love to Lana and all the people in the comment section!
I feel as 'Oh no Lana read my journal. Now she is speaking it on YT'. Only with the difference of change of wording. Lol!
Last year just before the pandemic I met an interesting guy at the bank, who works almost every day. I wanted to ask if we could like be friends? Or just meet up for tea or coffee? Then last month I went to the bank to make a deposit and because I'm always nice to the tellers. The guy came in from his break and asked me how I was doing and if I wanted to meet him afterwards for tea. I don't know how but I pushed my fear aside and said yes and we exchanged numbers. Lol! I left there and felt like a heavy weight had been taken off my chest. I started dancing as I walked away, then I noticed someone watching. The feeling was gone for those five minutes. I stopped dancing. 😁 I still have a long way to go but I'm learning. Thanks Lana! 🦋 🌹 ❤ ❤
Dude, you are preaching to the choir! 😂 I'm ridiculously socially awkward, when it comes to social interaction I just don't understand it. To me it's like an alien world to where I don't know the rules of communication. 🤷🏻♂️ Anyway, the best advice I can give anyone is that you just gravitate towards the people that accept you for who you are and appreciate your quirks.
I feel being socially awkward as a woman (especially an attractive one) is almost endearing to most people, while it's practically a dating/friendship death sentence for a man
Yes! Thank you, I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks this. When I use to go on dates with guys or meeting guys in general they would keep nagging at me for being quiet and socially awkward just cos I’m attractive
I say "Det blir som det blir" all the time. I liked the part with "I feel awkward" instead of telling yourself "I am awkward". I've heard something similar before when I read about meditation and mindfulness, it's a way of detaching yourself from your emotions, you are not your emotions, you just feel them.
I agree so much with what you said about identity! wording is so important.
Thank you for verbalizing this experiencie, I can completely relate and now knowing someone else is dealing with it, its helpful and empowering.
Learning to be a mindful observer of my emotions was a massive help with overcoming awkwardness and anxiety socially. It gives you the ability to perform in the world regardless of how you're feeling, and massively reduces the power of the emotion too. Also exposure therapy and inner child work, there's likely something from all of our pasts that's the reason we feel stiffled today. If you can find that core root problem and solve it, your awkwardness or anxiety will most likely either go away or not hold you back.
I love your videos so much! They inspire me a lot 💕
You really made me realize how to love myself as an introvert awkward person.. I don't love it much but im starting to.. and really accepting myself thank you, lana.
When I felt similarly a good few years ago, someone told me to look into other people's eyes when walking on the street, not in a creepy way of course, but not in an awkward way either. Meaning, just to look at them, smile for a second and continue looking forward so you won't walk into a lamppost. Now it got into a habbit for me, and luckily I get many people smiling back at me every day, which makes my mood a bit better, but most importantly I might make a few other people's day better!
It might not be clear how it helps in starting conversations with strangers for example, but trust me if you do this even just for a couple of weeks, you will be able to approach people much easier and it will not feel scary or awkward to look them in the eye and start talking.
Once you start the conversation, you won't just leave, so don't stress about that. It's like going to the gym or start a diet, once you left the house or started preparing the food, you won't quit it and call it a day, you are going to finish it and you are going to ace it! :)
Sorry for the long comment, I hope it all makes sense and I very much hope there will be a few people reading and gaining something from it, even though I posted it 11 month later.
Thank you for the helpful advice!
Wow, thank you for being inspiration for my channel, i am following my dreams right now lots of love 🖤 you are amazing ♥️♥️
Just be yourself, it's that simple. Don't judge yourself or worry about being judged. You will act who are are and how you feel and thats ok. Being awkward is ok, Failing is ok, messing up is ok, it's how to learn and improve. Nobody was more socially awkward than me at 18 year old. Now I'm just myself and people tell me they like it. Don't aim to impress or about being judged. You be yourself and what will be, will be. You are enough :)
I tried so hard to fit in and blend in. But i realized i just don't belong anywhere. Ppl just always makes fun of me ,and try to take advantage of me or diss me.What should i do ?
@@diptyrahman5809 Don't try to blend in, be your genuine self. Stay away from people who make fun of you as they are losers anyway. The right people will accept you for who you are. 😃
@@ColinDerbyshire i thought too. But it feels i am too different. Even my own family hates me, keeps being rude to me. So it must be bcoz i am the problem coz i am not like everyone else,i am quiet, nor smart like extroverts .No matter what i do, i am the one who keeps getting hurt .Why do i have to take everyone's shit???
I feel so good watching your video. Its very therapeutic to see you express these topics in such a sensitive manner. Thank you Lana:)
I’ve felt this at times. I’m not opposed to the world opening up again, but I do hope that more people understand one’s social boundaries and how doing your own thing for a while and then communicating enriches our interactions instead of devaluing them. With this in mind, I feel like everyone in society would be free from the information overload a lot of us experience every day.
I think its about going out of your comfortable zone which we have developed from childhood. I can definitely feel the difficulty of being social bur you are so happy being alone or with very few people. But if you just try to experiment and try to know different people you will enjoy . And who cares bt others think about you. Its just a judgement which may not be true..
Dear lovely person that's reading this, we may not know each other but I wish you all the best in life! ✨
I believe in you! Love - Nat ❤️
Thank you Nathalie for your very heart-warming feedback! I believe in you too!
Hey thanks Nathalie! :D
@@NatureDaydream Thank you so much! I appreciate your kind words! Stay incredible :)
@@oldmanjinkinsskyrim737 You're so welcome! Thank YOU for your acknowledgement! :)
Thanks!
I feel like I never have anything to say. Unable to get close to people. I find it so tiering socialising, and I feel I’m interfering or making the other person awkward or uncomfortable whenever I speak. I also think I’m boring and don’t have much to say about myself. I also want everyone to like me but always feel that nobody does. Anyone else feel like this ?
Lana, Thank you. Im facing the same struggle. Your videos make me understand myself more. Please continue creating this kinds of videos. You are an inspiration.
I have become socially awkward after being so much open that has led to many drastic unpleasant circumstances and experiences, you really need to be careful around people how are you actually express yourself be it pessimistic optimistic friendly helpful empathetic it all comes to how you end up feeling after meeting someone!
Lots of love from the second Sweden (Switzerland)
Ive been feeling awkward lately at school because I’m on the phase on working on my social skills right now. For people dealing with social awkwardness, know that this is only a chapter of your life and things will get better. Embrace where you are right now no matter how you feel. Keep on having having hope and believing in yourself.
Thank you so much Lana! :) I never had issues with social awkwardness, even though I am an INFJ like you, however, I do tend to overthink a lot... Coming from Serbia, and living in Canada, it's a cultural shock, but at the same time, I miss traveling, being with people, and being alone now, while I love it, I also don't like it due to the current situation... You gave so many insights in this awesome video, thank you so much once more! :)
you're definitely not alone, I think it's normal that a lot of people are feeling socially awkward in this period of time.. I wish I could stop over thinking every single conversation I have though 😅🙃
i know this channel is about mental and self help stuff but I really do hope that in the future you'd share your makeup tutorial. Your makeup always look simple but pretty.
I can't relate more! thank you so much for sharing this , it reminded me again that I'm not the only one going through this
+ You said that you experienced social anxiety before so can you make a video about it ?
I'm still pretty confused whether I'm just socially akward or it's actually social anxiety
and wherever it is , it's really ruining my life !
thank you for this. i thought i was the only one in the world that felt this way.
great vid, thanks for validating the feeling of socially awkwardness
Teacher: "okay class, Everybody here is new so why don't we go around the room, say your name and a little fact about yourself?"
My social anxiety: *Ah shit, here we go again*
Same 🥲🤣
THE WORST
I might not be even able to process their names and faces because I'm busy practicing what to say! 😅
Yes! 😆
OMG, this was me all my life.