You’re Not Awkward: how I fixed my social anxiety
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 13 พ.ค. 2023
- I've been a socially anxious person for as long as I can remember - but I've learned over the years not to let social anxiety stop me from living my life. Here are the lessons I learned which helped me become someone who puts their hand up in the air to speak, who can argue in Court, and who will go traveling solo (which I happen to be doing right now).
Check out Ellen Hendriksen's book, How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety: www.amazon.com/How-Be-Yoursel...
More of Ellen's work can be found on her website: www.ellenhendriksen.com/
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I use to be extroverted at a young age. But around high school i went through some things that led me to isolate myself. At the time i though I became "introverted" as in I literally didn't want to talk to anyone. In the end it was just me responding to social trauma which eventually led to me developing social anxiety. Now im trying to overcome it by trying to talk to people more. It hasnt been an easy nor consistent but i will not give up
Same here, lemme know how it goes
@@CuriousConnoisseurs From what I've heard social anxiety doesn't go away entirely. It may still linger even if you become more confident
@@oddball3264everyone has social anxiety to an extent. it’s normal to fear being judged. so it’s not like we are doomed forever
We are in the Same boat
I’ve seen people overcome it, my boyfriend is the perfect example, he can talk to ANYONE. Now it’s my turn, I have work to do
Y’all ever realize your anxiety leaves when you become really happy💀😊
It’s weird cause I know most people say they dont like social interactions because people might think that they are weird but for me it’s the opposite. I feel like people would know I’m not weird if I could just be me but I somehow can’t
I ate a loaf of bread in my dorm so I don’t need to ask people to go to the dining hall with me 😂
LOL this is so relatable
Something I would do
So conflicted with this, something I would do but I also really like good food. I'd probably find a way to find a way to sneak food from the dining hall in my room
I still get so touched by just seeing people not being rejectful, like those two nice strangers who agreed to take a photo together in such a nice and open manner 🥺
me too.
Love this, I suffered with such low self esteem as a kid but self love and belief changed all that 🙌🏽
I have social anxiety too, and I could feel it spiking leading up to the moment you asked those girls to take a photo with you!! It was genuinely secondhand stressful 🤣Props to you for doing it and excellent video as always!
Haha I can fully relate to that feeling of secondhand stress watching these types of situations pan out! Glad you liked the video 😊
You are so authentic when you showed us you were trying step by steps wanting to get a photo taken and struggling a bit in between. I don't know why but I chuckled several times watching you telling the story. Maybe because I sometimes could feel that social anxiety as well, and what you said and how you felt resonated with me a lot : )
Thanks Brook! I'm happy to hear that my feelings resonated with you (and glad you got a chuckle out of the video too hehe)
W pfp
Thank you for this!
love this video thank you! so many good points!
Gonna be braver and post a comment here: I had this video recommended to me randomly, but so many of the personal details of your own story resonated with me as someone who used to struggle more deeply with self-esteem and anxiety. I especially like how you touch upon the realities of anxiety and choose not to frame it as an enemy or problem to be "fixed" because that was very important for me to learn too.
It's never easy to be honest about your struggles, so thank you for sharing! 🙌
Thanks so much for leaving such a thoughtful comment even though the video was recommended to you randomly! I always appreciate hearing from people who have gone thorough the same thing/something similar ☺️
Nice comment
This is the most useful video ever!! Thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu sooo much❤❤
loved this! trying to face my social anxiety, this was relatable
Thank you so much for this video
This is exactly the thing i am dealing with inside my heart, thanks
I really needed this video today - connecting acceptance with social anxiety.
For people who hav social anxiety have to work even more harder to make friends than other people who easily make friends which is sad and good at the same time.
Have been watching your videos since you quit the law, good videos as always, keep it up and you guys definitely deserve more subscribers !
I love this video. You just made me confirm that I DO have social anxiety. I have always been wondering whether I'm just shy, socially awkward or just straight up have social anxiety. I think my question is answered after watching this and another video before. I'm gonna read that book you mentioned in the video
Thank you for providing how to face it
Glad I found this video, everything you point I can relate to, the only time I feel more confident, and less care about what others think etc, is when I have had a few drinks of alcohol, not to the extent where I am staggering or slurring my words, but enough to put me over the driving limit. Have always thought for sometime I am different in the way I have conversation around people and see notice often when I talk with someone its usually only small talk yet ill see that same person engage in full conversation with others.
Great video thanks for sharing this ! cuz social anxiety rarely has been discussed in a scientific way. Those points mentioned in this video are consistent with what my previous therapist taught me.
Super helpful to me. Likewise, I don’t speak English fluently but work in US. I have same feelings every day. Just had a self judgement day. I will try your advices ❤
Hooray! Well done Em :)
Thank you 😊
Em, this video resonate with me so much. I’m very introverted and now I guess I actually have higher level of social anxiety then others. I get extremely stiff and clumsy when I’m in a very social setting and am way more comfortable and talkative at a safer smaller group gathering. I try to force myself showing up as “extroverted introvert” in situations where I have to talk and make connections, but I hate it so much and didn’t now this is actually social anxiety. I can relate to so much “inner thoughts” that you have in the video and appreciate you sharing with us❤ for all of us to learn to live with it better
It makes me super happy to hear this video resonated with you, especially as someone who has also gone through trying to force myself to show up as an "extroverted introvert" for a long time!
I have less problems with people I never see again, like strangers on the street, but once it comes to talking to someone I'm likely to meet again, I just shut down and avoid it. Still don't really know how to get over that.
great video!
Thank you for sharing this Em. As a fellow lawyer I often feel social anxiety when going to networking events and found this really help. I also wanted to say that I really appreciate the whole channel in general! Thank you both for making such high quality content. I love your structure and concision (your inner lawyers truly do shine!)
Thanks Pranaav, that really means a lot!! It's also nice to hear from fellow lawyers who experience similar feelings :)
Hey there! I really want to ask you a question since you mentioned that you are a lawyer.. I am a high school student and i think im dealing with social anxiety too but i want to study law after high school.. do you recommend studying law? (With social anxiety) - hope it makes sense😅
@@dimawhebi1964 I think social anxiety shouldn't deter one from studying law! To be honest, I don't think social anxiety has a different impact/more of an impact on studying law in particular vs studying any other subject. Social anxiety may just be more of a factor when it comes to deciding what type of lawyer you want to be (for instance some people don't like speaking in Court).
Awesome... thx
That ending was so scary. It gave me second hand social anxiety
Life saver❤
"For I, the LORD your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, 'Fear not, I am the one who helps you.”
_ Isaiah 41:13
The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me? The LORD is with me; he is my helper. I look in triumph on my enemies.
_Psalm 118:6
“Cast All Your anxiety on HIM
because He cares for you”
_Peter 5:7
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”
__ Matthew 11:28-30
“But watch yourselves lest your hearts be weighed down with dissipation and drunkenness and cares of this life, and that day come upon you suddenly like a trap. For it will come upon all who dwell on the face of the whole earth.”
_ Luke 21:34
“Throw all your anxiety on God, because he cares for you.”_ 1 Peter 5:7.
Meaning: God invites you to tell him openly and honestly about whatever weighs on your mind.
“God can give you both inner peace and the strength to keep going.”
_Philippians 4:6, 7, 13)
Awesome, great job! I can really relate to this video, and actually just got the audiobook you mentioned
Back at my elementary school, i. e. long time ago, I was quite uncool to put it mildly. I didnt have much friends (actually I had zero friends) and I was much more satisfied with book or comics (it was pre internet era) than with my peers outdoors. Nevertheless I felt quite much social pressure from school as well as from my parents that this is not OK. And consequently, I was eventually unsatisfied with the fact that I have no friends. But it was a consequence of social pressure, not my own mind. Than I changed my school when I was 11 years old (it was unrelated to my (un)interaction with my peers) and I view this as opportunity to completely change myself and ultimately have friends and be cool. The result was absolute failure. The next years until my early adulthood was one constant fear and stress, that I will do something wrong in interaction with my peers. I actually hated all social events and I desperatelly waited to the end of every such event. Eventually when I was in my early twenties I realized that so much fear and stress (and virtually nothing else) is not worthy of effort. So I ceased social interaction completely and now I am in my late thirties and I live basically without any friend. Of course I have colleagues in my job, but not a single friend. Am I finally satisfied with my life? I am not sure. Actually I am still quite depressed. Life sucks.
Hey there i really appreciate how you approached this topic in a non medical/ pathologused way. I found it very helpful. Im curious as to whether your choice to travel solo was related to dealing with this too (could you explain why travelling with your partner wouldnt be the same ), and did it help? I ask because im thinking about it too. Thanks a lot again
I love this small and sweet exposure therapy. 🤗
"For I, the LORD your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, 'Fear not, I am the one who helps you.”
_ Isaiah 41:13
The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me? The LORD is with me; he is my helper. I look in triumph on my enemies.
_Psalm 118:6
“Cast All Your anxiety on HIM
because He cares for you”
_Peter 5:7
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”
__ Matthew 11:28-30
“But watch yourselves lest your hearts be weighed down with dissipation and drunkenness and cares of this life, and that day come upon you suddenly like a trap. For it will come upon all who dwell on the face of the whole earth.”
_ Luke 21:34
“Throw all your anxiety on God, because he cares for you.”_ 1 Peter 5:7.
Meaning: God invites you to tell him openly and honestly about whatever weighs on your mind.
“God can give you both inner peace and the strength to keep going.”
_Philippians 4:6, 7, 13)
thanks
Same here, I thought I am the only one with Social anxiety, watching your this video some what makes me feel I am not the only one....haha... I agree I dont think much about it or give importance towards my aniexty, I just accept it and know its there, if I try to get rid of it then it will make me miserable and worse so I just accept it as part of me.
Happy to hear that, I was hoping this would help others with social anxiety feel less alone 😊
@@EmandLloyd Thank you :)
You’re the best😬
When I was 4 yrs I had snot running down my face i was too shy to ask for a tissue . So i started to get bullied and it had affected me having social anxiety
How do I like this video more than once?
You could try hacking the TH-cam algorithm
i can relate to this so hard, there’s sth abt the genes!
100% lol!
Cool ❤
"For I, the LORD your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, 'Fear not, I am the one who helps you.”
_ Isaiah 41:13
The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me? The LORD is with me; he is my helper. I look in triumph on my enemies.
_Psalm 118:6
“Cast All Your anxiety on HIM
because He cares for you”
_Peter 5:7
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”
__ Matthew 11:28-30
“But watch yourselves lest your hearts be weighed down with dissipation and drunkenness and cares of this life, and that day come upon you suddenly like a trap. For it will come upon all who dwell on the face of the whole earth.”
_ Luke 21:34
“Throw all your anxiety on God, because he cares for you.”_ 1 Peter 5:7.
Meaning: God invites you to tell him openly and honestly about whatever weighs on your mind.
“God can give you both inner peace and the strength to keep going.”
_Philippians 4:6, 7, 13)
I had no idea
(me too)
You never know. I may bump into you in the future and ask you to take a photo with one of your subscribers. 🙂
Can't say no when I know how hard that is to do!
I try to make up a conversation with people but I feel like they are ignoring and I am overly nice. Mostly I have to go through this with the people I less interact with. However it is much easier to talk with the people I know personally. My parents say that I always live in a another world and that is the reason but that s not true. Sometimes I can t even answer to a very simple question and I overthink it. Is this social awekwardness?
Yeah that’s one of the cases of social anxiety especially overthinking.
You're enough, Emily. We have open arms for you, for all the good and bad.
If you hadn't thrown up, you wouldn't have met Lloyd.
Enjoy your trip in Taiwan!
Aw appreciate it, thanks Aidan! 🙂
Which law firm were you at Em ?
"For I, the LORD your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, 'Fear not, I am the one who helps you.”
_ Isaiah 41:13
The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me? The LORD is with me; he is my helper. I look in triumph on my enemies.
_Psalm 118:6
“Cast All Your anxiety on HIM
because He cares for you”
_Peter 5:7
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”
__ Matthew 11:28-30
“But watch yourselves lest your hearts be weighed down with dissipation and drunkenness and cares of this life, and that day come upon you suddenly like a trap. For it will come upon all who dwell on the face of the whole earth.”
_ Luke 21:34
“Throw all your anxiety on God, because he cares for you.”_ 1 Peter 5:7.
Meaning: God invites you to tell him openly and honestly about whatever weighs on your mind.
“God can give you both inner peace and the strength to keep going.”
_Philippians 4:6, 7, 13)
I don’t really believe you have it. I do and I’m over 50 years old. You can’t get over it like that. I’m crying now thinking about this.
I feel like having religion for me helps me a ton. So even if you can’t talk, smile at some people or say hi and if they don’t say it back don’t overthink it. Smiling is one form of charity in itself and not everyone is going to reject it. That’s a small tip😁👍🏾.
My religion is not of Christianity but it teaches me to smile to all people😊
What if I'm on the spectrum
"For I, the LORD your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, 'Fear not, I am the one who helps you.”
_ Isaiah 41:13
The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me? The LORD is with me; he is my helper. I look in triumph on my enemies.
_Psalm 118:6
“Cast All Your anxiety on HIM
because He cares for you”
_Peter 5:7
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”
__ Matthew 11:28-30
“But watch yourselves lest your hearts be weighed down with dissipation and drunkenness and cares of this life, and that day come upon you suddenly like a trap. For it will come upon all who dwell on the face of the whole earth.”
_ Luke 21:34
“Throw all your anxiety on God, because he cares for you.”_ 1 Peter 5:7.
Meaning: God invites you to tell him openly and honestly about whatever weighs on your mind.
“God can give you both inner peace and the strength to keep going.”
_Philippians 4:6, 7, 13)
Have you done the mbti test personality? I think you may be IXXJ.
I'm ETFJXX according to MBTI
I have social anxiety and taking xanax helps
🫡
it's a ⚠️ warning sign. your body cueing you something. it's not a feeling to suppress.
So I should let myself feel socially anxious even when it makes my voice shake and I end up sounding terrified when I'm trying to make conversation? I shouldn't suppress the feeling that is causing me to look like a fucking weirdo and keeps me from being my authentic self? Why? It's ruining my life. It's telling me distorted thoughts that make me want to stay in my room all day, it never has anything nice to say, and it always sounds like my mother. These warning signs are just trauma talking. You don't know anything.
Taipei people know some English of course to take ur order no ?